NCIS s05e06 Episode Script
Chimera
What is this, dog meat? Looks like the same crap we had yesterday.
You should've ate it all yesterday.
Anyone seen Lieutenant Ferris? Check the head, sir.
Been in his office since breakfast.
Probably plotting his revenge against Mitas.
Bite me.
Couldn't taste any worse than this chow.
All right, one of you guys better go check to see if he's okay.
Ferris.
You all right? Yeah, I'm fine, sir.
At least until I ate this crap.
No new orders from STRATCOM? No, sir, just checked.
Nothing.
Hair of the dog, Ferris? Go to hell, Mitas.
Man, what's the matter? Takada, what's wrong? Get him to sick bay! Now! NCIS Season 5 Episode 6 Don't you have paperwork, DiNozzo? What do you think I'm doing? I take the paper and I make it work.
- Tonight's the night.
- What night? - Brain Matter.
- Brain Matter? Yeah, my friend's band.
Remember? Brain Matter.
Yeah, you guys all promised you'd go with me.
- All of us? - All of you.
- Even me? - Even you.
And you - and you.
- I don't think I can make it tonight.
I've got to catch up on paperwork.
And I've got a very important thing And other thing And, I-I've got Some people wear these spiky things just for show.
I don't.
I've got nothing better to do than-than to see A dead body, McGee? You read my mind, boss.
It's a quick read.
Pack up.
Full kit.
Motion sickness meds? Chopper's waiting at N.
A.
S.
Anacostia.
I'm fine on a chopper, boss.
Chopper takes us to the ship, McGee.
USNS Chimera.
Get briefed at Anacostia.
You know, Brain Matter's playing a really late set.
That's odd, there's no Chimera on the register.
Any reason why that would be? We'll get briefed at Anacostia.
Okay, I'll get my gear.
I'll get Duck.
Pack a toothbrush.
We're going to be there a while.
Well, look on the bright side, Probie.
Ixnay on the AinMatterBray.
Really wish I could go, sorry.
Thanks anyway.
Take a Brain check? Sorry.
We received word of the death this morning.
They say what killed the guy? Isn't that your job, Agent Gibbs? Commander Wilkins will have you out to the Chimera by nightfall.
Chimera's not listed in the Navy fleet.
It's not on the books.
The Chimera's a highly sophisticated, top-secret research vessel.
Researching what? That's need-to-know.
And you don't.
That's the "top secret" part, McGee.
Go in, get the body, come back out.
We've got a death to investigate.
Take witness statements, do what you need to do.
Just don't ask anything beyond your pay level.
We'll do our jobs, Commander.
NCIS was called out because no other federal investigative agency has clearance to get on the Chimera.
That said, even you guys don't have clearance to know what's on it.
I get it, boss.
It's a black ship.
Black sheep? No, they don't exist.
I've seen black sheep.
No, I said "black ship," not sheep.
Clearly the US Navy is still intent on pulling the wool over the eyes of the American people.
- Sir.
- No photos.
It's standard procedure.
There's nothing standard about the Chimera.
I don't want anyone documenting what's on that ship.
Bring the camera, McGee.
I suggest you keep your inquiry focused on that body.
Chimera, Lady 8-0-6 approaching your deck for landing.
Over.
Chimera, do you copy? Over.
The ship's LZ is obstructed.
We'll hold above deck in a hover.
We still can't raise any of the crew on the radio, sir.
Alert Commander Skinner.
Will do.
Where's the welcoming committee? The deck lights are on.
Nobody's home.
This is most unusual, Jethro.
- It is creepy.
- It's a ghost ship.
Agent Gibbs, we have reserve fuel.
We need to know if you're staying, sir.
Boss, I've got to tell you I don't have a real good feeling about this.
We're staying.
So this is the highly sophisticated, top secret ship? Looks more like an old tramp steamer.
I suppose they were trying to look inconspicuous, hoping to be left alone.
Can you get any more alone than this? I'm beginning to wonder whether they dropped us on the right ship.
Right ship.
Wrong night.
Every room is empty.
It's like the entire crew disappeared.
Welcome aboard the USNS Houdini.
Still playing.
Hey, it's your favorite, McGee Brain Matter.
Thanks.
I feel bad enough already, okay? Take another pill.
Sorry.
Wait a second, this doesn't make any sense.
Something suspicious? Absolutely.
This guy had a full house.
Why would he fold? "Dear Mary Beth.
Good news.
Overheard the captain say they had a good dive last night.
If they found what they were looking for, we could be heading home any day.
I can't tell you much about the mission, but" But? It stops there.
You think they all just went out for an evening swim? You notice something missing, Duck? People.
Life boats.
Yeah, I didn't notice any on the starboard side either.
The ship was abandoned.
In a hurry, it would seem.
Too much of a hurry to send a Mayday? No, no, Jethro.
No questions beyond your pay level.
Five minutes.
You owe me ten bucks.
Where's McGee? Calling Earl.
Shouting groceries.
Making street pizza.
Technicolor yawn.
I found something.
Lost something, too.
I guess you can't judge a black ship by its wool.
What are they researching, Duck? Something to do with rats, if I were to guess from these empty cages.
Skinner seemed pretty paranoid.
Guessing the mission wasn't purely humanitarian.
I doubt it's even human.
Thermosalinographs, fluorometer, carbon analyzer Whatever it is, it's not visible to the naked eye.
What was that? Could be the metal of the ship contracting in the cool of the evening.
Or not.
Sounded as if it was coming from the cargo hold above us.
Duck, you're with me.
Check out the cargo hold.
I was afraid you were going to say that.
Baa baa, black ship Have you any wool? Yes sir, Yes sir But no one gets to see it.
You're gonna need top secret government clearance Someone or something's on the ship with us.
I can feel it.
Yeah, I can see it.
Scared much, DiNozzo? Stuff it, McBarf Bag.
It's just a cute, little rat.
Why the irrational fear? It's not cute.
It's not little.
And it's not irrational.
Cowardly then? Not if you're uh, someone who survived a bout of pneumonic plague, thank you very much.
Rats are a known carrier.
I used to love rats before the plague.
- I was a regular Willard.
- What is a Willard? It's a movie.
Willard had a pet rat named Ben.
Social misfit.
Made fun of by his coworkers.
He had a creepy boss.
No wonder you're related.
You think Gibbs is creepy? I think she meant the social misfit, made fun of part.
Did you hear that? - No.
- No.
There's something aboard.
Other than a rat.
What do your astute ninja Mossad senses tell you it is? In Mossad part of the training is to be open to things you cannot see.
Or even understand.
You mean the supernatural? Call it what you want.
Not everything can be explained by the laws of the natural world.
You believe in ghosts? I do not not believe in ghosts.
Or demons.
Or monsters.
We are on a ship called the Chimera.
I thought Chimera meant delusion or fantasy.
In Greek mythology, a Chimera is a monster with a lion's head, a goat's body and a dragon's tail.
So you think they named this ship the Chimera because there's a monster on board? They did not name it the Puppy.
Boo.
Get in here.
Well, whatever's on this boat must be pretty damn scary if it got them to ditch this delicious-looking What is this stuff? Don't ask me.
That's not a request, it's a command.
The plot sickens.
This is our crime scene.
If there was a crime.
Well, you see these little flecks of brown in the blood? Coffee-ground emesis.
Usually a sign of alcoholism but you can get it from severe gastrointestinal distress.
Steady, Probie.
Tell that to my stomach.
Steady, Probie's stomach.
I would not stand there if I were you.
That's a good point.
You don't want to compromise the crime scene.
Gibbs.
Partial footprint.
In blood.
They lead out of here.
In here.
You were right, Ziva.
Someone is on board with us.
Not him.
There's something alive.
I can feel it.
A lion-headed dragon goat? Maybe.
Someone tossed a month's supply of creamed corn to make room for him.
Please don't say that again.
"Tossed"? No.
"Creamed corn.
" There's significant petechial hemorrhaging in the eyes.
These little pinpoints of blood.
It's often a sign of asphyxia.
Well, we won't know for sure until we conduct some tests.
McGee, get me a satellite link.
Abby.
Abby! Abby! McGee! You shouldn't sneak up on people like that! What the hell is that noise? Brain Matter.
I love them.
You guys okay? Yeah, yeah, we're peachy.
I am dealing with my boat phobia, Tony's dealing with his rat phobia, and Ziva's dealing with her ghost phobia.
So, what's Gibbs dealing with? Them.
Abs, patch me through to the Director.
No need, Jethro, I'm here.
What's the status? Well, the crew has disappeared - except for one.
- Did he tell you where they are? No.
He's dead.
Have you ID'd him? Yeah, hang on.
Dr.
Satoshi Takada.
What do you got on him, Abs? Dr.
Satoshi Takada.
Marine biologist.
Lieutenant Commander for the Navy since 1997.
PhD in biology from LSU.
Make sure Skinner knows he's got 20 men stranded in life boats.
I'll get right on it.
Does Ducky have a cause of death? We're still doing tests.
Don't know what killed him yet.
Yes, we do.
My initial diagnosis of asphyxia was incorrect, I'm afraid.
It looks as if Takada died of viral hemorrhagic fever to which, by now, we have all been exposed.
Can't leave the ship.
Well, that's not a problem, Jethro.
If my diagnosis is correct we'll all be dead by morning.
STRATCOM has received no signals from any life boats.
A crew of 20 doesn't just disappear into thin air.
Trust me, we'll find those men.
We're dispatching our rescue-and-recovery ops, and getting a relief crew out to the Chimera ASAP.
I need you to tell me what kind of research the Chimera was involved in.
Deep-sea marine-life exploration.
I'm afraid I can't say anything more than that.
It's classified.
I have top secret clearance, Commander.
The mission is above top secret, Director.
But trust me, it's pretty mundane stuff.
My medical examiner believes that Dr.
Takada died from a deadly virus he may have contracted from the "mundane stuff" he was studying.
Then he must be mistaken in his preliminary diagnosis.
Something on that ship killed him.
We have no reason to believe that Dr.
Takada's research had anything to do with his death.
Commander, if you insist on stonewalling me, I can take this to a higher command level.
I'm not stonewalling, Director.
I'm telling you the truth.
You're not telling me a damn thing.
You do not run black ops to carry out mundane research.
The lives of my agents are being threatened, and I need to know what is threatening them.
Primitive conditions, Duck.
Primitive? You remember that tiny thatched cottage I used as an examination room in Namibia? Yes, of course then I was working on Pygmies.
You know what killed him? Well, if Dr.
Takada was a bit too fond of his Scotch, what I'm seeing here is oesophageal varices, and this tear caused blood to enter his oesophagus, causing him to vomit blood.
Or, Dr.
Takada could have had a severe gastrointestinal infection, that produced a Mallory-Weiss tear.
In which case, the vomiting would have come first.
Neither diagnosis is inconsistent with haemorrhagic fever.
And if we were exposed? Well, I'm hampered from prognosticating further until Dr.
DiNozzo gives me a proper blood analysis.
Abby, where's the gas chromato-thinga? It's the, uh, boxy-looking thing with the, um, circular door-like thing on the front.
- I got it.
- Okay, good.
Now, put the sample in the circular rack-like thing at the top.
Got it.
Okay, press the blue start button.
It's-it's blue-ish and square-ish.
It's on a tower on the top, Tony.
The tower-like thing.
- Got it.
- While we're waiting the analysis, let's get the blood count.
So, place a small amount of blood on your slide.
It's amazing what you can learn from blood, even before it's analyzed.
I mean, the color, the texture, the smell.
Okay, um, now take out the dropper of Methylene Blue.
It's blue-ish and it's dropper-like.
Got it.
Okay, now place two drops of the Methylene Blue on your slide.
- We're good.
- Of course, blood that's passed through someone's GI tract has a very particular smell.
But since this guy may have died from a highly contagious virus, whatever you do, do not inhale it.
We're not good.
Hey, you okay, DiNozzo? Not for long.
Where's my blood analysis, DiNozzo? I'm working on it, Ducky.
Maybe the last thing I do.
Let's hope not.
May I? There's definitely an increased white blood count, with an absolute increase in lymphocytes having an atypical appearance.
That would be consistent with an acute viral infection.
I have located three rodent bites on Takada's body.
Perhaps he contracted the virus from a diseased rat.
That would be bad.
Maybe the top-secret whatever-it-was that Takada is studying is what killed him.
In which case it would be airborne.
That would be really, really bad.
Boss, I've got a feed from MTAC with Director Shepard and Commander Skinner.
They want you and Ducky patched in right away.
I'm flying a crew out to take control of the ship.
The risk is too great.
Director, you cannot allow anyone on this ship.
I can put anyone I want to on that ship.
Then I have no choice but to quarantine the Chimera.
On whose authority?!? Ours.
Dr.
Mallard is a medical examiner, Agent Gibbs is a federal officer.
- That's my ship! - Not anymore.
What kind of game you think you're playing, Gibbs? Any word from the missing crew? We have every possible resource looking for those men.
Look, given what we know, this is high precedence.
Those men may well have been exposed to the virus, too.
They may also need to be quarantined.
You don't need to explain to me the dangers involved here.
It might've helped if you had explained them to us.
If that is all, Director, I'd like to go find out what this virus is before it kills me.
And quite possibly, everyone else on this ship, too.
Commander, I think it's time you tell me what I need to know about your ship.
I cannot divulge any more about the Chimera's mission than I already have.
Seeing as how my agents now have control over your ship, I am going to instruct them to investigate any and all aspects of the Chimera's operation that will help them determine what they are up against.
Nothing will be off limits.
You can't do that.
You can't stop me.
This is a classified mission.
Then read me into it.
Even if I wanted to read you into the Chimera's mission, I can't do that over an MTAC feed.
The file has to be read to you in person.
If you think I'm going to stand idly by while my agents' lives are in danger, you are sadly mistaken.
I will be waiting for you and your file, Commander.
Now, you.
We've been through almost every room on this ship.
"Almost" only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.
Could be a rat.
Have to be an awfully big one.
Or a ghost.
- Are you done? - Done searching the ship? We could always search it again.
I could stay here with Ducky.
Well, so he's not left alone.
I'm not alone.
I've got Takada to keep me company.
Duck.
Got it.
So, Takada, as one doctor to another, what is this horrid virus which caused your demise? Anyone else feeling itchy? Maybe that's a bug bite.
Or a rat bite.
No, no, no, look at that spot.
- It's a freckle.
- It's not a freckle.
- Freckle.
- Never had a freckle there.
You've always had that freckle.
How would you know whether I had a freckle or didn't have a freckle? And by the way, I have never had that freckle! Yes, Jethro? Give me the symptoms for hemorrhagic fever.
Well, initially, one might experience a feeling paranoia and a growing sense of dread.
Then, more obvious physiological symptoms would manifest themselves.
Such as? Such as the appearance of atopic melanosomes.
Come again? Spots.
Possibly itchy.
Then, a fast-rising fever, of course.
I knew it.
I'm gonna die.
I inhaled it.
God! Definitely didn't picture my demise like this.
I always figured I'd go out like Cagney in White Heat.
Fiery explosion.
Or Redford and Newman in Butch Cassidy hail of bullets.
Or Charlie Chaplin in The Gold Rush.
How did he die? Silently.
Ziva! - Didn't you see that? - See what? Someone, something was running.
Surely I'm not the only one who saw that.
The Chimera? I swear there was something there.
It's not here now.
It ran down the passageway, it made a right here and then it And then? It disappeared.
I know there was something there.
Like my freckle! Boss? Biohazard.
Sounds inviting.
McGee? Looks like some kind of cyber-lock with a bar code and touch memory.
It's right up your alley, McGeek.
It's going to take time.
We're not going anywhere.
Thought you said you weren't going anywhere.
If you want, Ziva I could check you for spots.
- No, thanks.
- I'm sure you've got hot spots, - warm spots - DiNozzo.
Get this to Ducky.
Me? That's a dead, diseased rat which is why it may aid Dr.
Mallard with his investigation.
Which is why I'd be pleased as punch to walk back through this ship with a dead, diseased rat.
You can show Ducky your freckle.
You stinky, stinky.
Yes, Alex, I'll take "Horror Films That Take Place on Ships" for $500.
Thank you.
Oh, goodie.
Double Jeopardy! Oh, geez.
Oh, dear.
Oh, crap.
- I don't suppose you hear footsteps? - Yeah, I hear 'em.
It's just me.
And Ben.
- Bag that thing.
- Ziva? Thanks.
Well, this moment is almost perfect.
All we need is a storm.
McGee? - Yeah.
- You all right? I've had better days, Boss.
Tripped over a barrel.
Made this kinda Bangy, crashy sound, like thunder? You crack the lock? No.
Not yet.
The touch screen it's a bit I'm working on it.
Why don't you work on turning the lights back on? I think we just passed the electrical room.
It's like Aliens.
Numero Uno.
Ripley, light in hand, moving through endless corridors searching for a hideous monster.
You ever see Run Silent, Run Deep? The "run silent" part sounds good.
The electrical room should be right here.
Let me out of here! Here's the crew list.
He's the cook.
Get these shackles off of me! - Why were you hiding? - Why did you attack us? - Why'd the crew abandon ship? - What happened to Takada? You asking me? It was that thing, wasn't it? What thing? I knew there was a thing.
- What thing? - They brought a thing out of the water.
Takada was studying it.
That's what killed him.
Isn't it? - Don't know.
- Don't lie to me! It's killing me, too, isn't it?! You know what if I don't kill you first.
Sit down, and tell us what happened here.
What happened to the crew? They abandoned ship.
Why? They thought whatever killed Takada was contagious.
Captain forced me to stay behind.
He thought I had already been exposed from all the blood - he puked on me.
- Nobody sent a Mayday.
The radio operator was supposed to.
He was the last to leave the ship.
So you were left here alone? I thought I was.
And then someone hit me.
Who? I don't know.
They hit me from behind.
Maybe they did, maybe they didn't.
Why would I lie? - Why were you hiding? - Why did you run? I thought you were the ones that hit me.
There's someone else on this ship.
What's in that biohazard room? Don't ask me.
I'm just the cook.
Come on! You never overheard one conversation, one argument about what's locked up in there? - That area was off limits to me! - Sit down! You live with these people, you sleep with them, you work with them, you can't tell me what's in that room?! That's where it is.
The bug.
I don't get it.
The breakers aren't tripped, the conduits are fine.
Tony, check behind this panel over here.
- Tony? - Feel my head.
Why? Just feel it.
I don't want to.
It's all sweaty.
Exactly.
I got the freakin' fever.
I'm burning up, man.
The ventilation is off, Tony.
We're all burning up.
This is different.
I'm dying, McGee.
You know, the last time you were dying of a horrible disease, you were a little bit more stoic about the whole thing.
I was younger then, carefree.
It was two years ago.
The last time I almost died, someone blew up my car, so I've almost died twice, and this is the third time, and bad stuff happens in threes, and I'm out of almosts.
I'm telling you, man, this time I'm dying.
I know it.
But until you are actually dead can you please help me fix this thing? Go take a look behind that panel over there, see if maybe one of the leads got fried.
Thanks.
I think I found the problem, assuming this ship runs on tiny little batteries.
Lithium.
Like camera batteries.
Odd.
Someone must have hidden them in there.
Transponders.
From what? Well my guess EPIRBs.
That's my guess, too.
What are EPIRBs again? "Containment of aforementioned microbial species, deadly or otherwise, is to remain under the guardianship of the operation's chief scientist until such time it can be safely transported to Naval Research Headquarters.
" Biowarfare research is illegal.
We signed a treaty.
So did the Russians, and we've spotted their fishing trawlers in areas of the Bering Sea that aren't considered fishable.
So two wrongful fishing expeditions make a right? We're just trying to get our hands on the next generation of biological weaponry before our enemies do.
Do you file that under deception or hypocrisy? Non-disclosure agreement.
Do you understand why the Navy doesn't want anyone to know where the ship is or what it's doing? And do you understand the Navy's secret could cost my agents their lives? I got a support vessel on its way with medical facilities on board and a decontamination unit.
Great.
Show it to me.
How exactly do you propose I do that? There must be an ORION or two that you could scramble overhead.
I think you're gonna have to trust me.
I don't know you well enough, Commander.
We can fix that.
You can cut the charm.
Higher-ranking, richer, and definitely better-looking men have tried that on me and didn't get very far.
Now, I can't speak for you, Commander, but I didn't get where I am because of my looks, so get your eyes off of me and put some on that ship.
What's that? Transponders taken off the life jacket.
Why I'd do that? You didn't want the crew located once they abandoned ship.
I didn't sabotage any life jackets! - There's no one else on the ship.
- There has to be.
You were in the electrical room when the power went out.
I wouldn't know how to shut off the power.
I told you, I'm just the cook! Just the cook? That's what Steven Seagal said in Under Siege, look at the havoc he wreaked.
What about The Hunt for Red October? The saboteur was the cook.
I'm sorry, boss, I'm just saying, that, you know, just 'cause he says he's the cook doesn't mean he's any less potentially guilty.
He could have slipped poison into Takada's food.
I swear, I didn't kill Takada! Not with poison, at least.
The good news is I've confirmed beyond a doubt that Takada did indeed die of hemorrhagic fever.
That's great news, Ducky.
However, the virus was injected into him it was not airborne.
I've also examined the dead rat that Tony so heroically brought to me.
Ironically, it died from having bitten Takada.
So I'm not gonna die? Well, the bottom line is there was no outbreak on the ship.
He was injected without knowing it.
If I could do a proper and thorough toxicology, I think we'd find that he had first been drugged.
Takada was murdered.
Why would someone do that? To scare everyone off the ship.
But why? I mean what's so valuable on this ship that someone would kill for it? About time, McGee.
I had nothing to do with it.
Someone's messing with us.
Maybe Mitas is right.
Someone else is aboard.
Gibbs, up here! I saw something running on deck.
Something or someone? - I don't know, it was moving fast.
- It or him? I don't know, I have lost it.
I'll say.
- Gibbs, I swear - I believe you, Ziva.
See? Someone else who believes in what they cannot see.
No, I believe what I can see wasn't there before.
Someone's sending a signal.
I believe you.
Mitas was telling the truth.
He's not a ghost, but he's got a certain "B horror flick" thing going.
You have no idea what you're dealing with.
I think we do Lieutenant Ferris.
Communications Officer.
Who failed to communicate his crewmates abandoned ship.
You're not very good at your job, are you Lieutenant? - You're wasting your time.
- I think we're wasting yours.
The Navy's on its way.
You're going to the brig.
- You'll be dead before they arrive.
- Save it.
We know about the virus.
Outbreak was a hoax.
It's not the virus that'll kill you.
Satisfied, Director? I'm not that easy, Commander.
That doesn't surprise me.
That must be your support vessel.
Can we get any closer? I'm sure we can.
It's going to reach the Chimera a lot faster than you said it would.
That's not our support vessel.
The approaching craft has no known identification.
That seems to be the way things operate around here.
Looks to be the size of a small assault vessel.
Same type of boats I've seen used by marauders.
- Pirates? - Cruise ships, tankers, steamers they'll attack anything to make a buck.
How long? You should be able to put eyes on it any minute.
These people come heavily armed, Agent Gibbs.
Automatic weapons, grenades, even RPGs.
- What are they after? - I can't divulge that information.
Hold on.
You tell me heavily armed pirates are coming to attack me, you better tell me what they're looking for.
Your agent hasn't been read in.
I don't give a damn about your secrets, Commander.
I care about keeping my team safe.
Tell me what they want.
I can't do that.
Can someone give me a damn answer? - Put me through to STRATCOM.
- All right! Wait! Look.
The secret material they have dredged up from the ocean What am I looking for? Something the size of a bread box? A gallon drum? It can fit in a vial.
But it's untested.
- Unproven.
- Ferris has already killed one guy.
He's put 20 others at risk.
This is worth something to someone.
Boss, I cracked it.
Now, before we go in there, the power is back on, so the ventilation and filtration system should also be back on.
I know it says "biohazard," but if there's anything biological in there, the room should be negatively pressured.
Thing is, this room is not.
Boss You-you really could risk exposure if you stay in there very long.
What is it? Gibbs! We've spotted the assault craft.
Five minutes, maybe less.
Aleksei? Aleksei? Ferris.
Ducky, how long before Ferris wakes up? A couple of hours.
It'll take him considerably longer to wipe off the fake blood.
How'd you disable the ship, McGee? Spew all over the engine? Steering has several nonlinear effects saturation, dead-zone, rate-limiting Bottom line is, ship's still able able to sail in one big circle.
Russian.
Orders from the Russian Navy.
They weren't pirates? Soviet state-sponsored pirates.
But why? McGee? Russian nuclear warhead? There's your ghost, Ziva.
The ghost of Soviet Project K629.
So, this whole thing was a Russian black ops mission to recover their nuke? So, pirates that weren't really pirates but were actually Russian sailors were on a covert mission to steal a Navy research ship that wasn't actually a Navy research ship in order to get back nuclear weapons that we thought they didn't think we had retrieved? Perhaps we should call the Navy.
Tell them that we're on the Russian black ship, and the Russians are on theirs.
I guess the Navy didn't want anyone to know their black ship ever existed.
How did they know we were off the ship? Don't think they did.
You should've ate it all yesterday.
Anyone seen Lieutenant Ferris? Check the head, sir.
Been in his office since breakfast.
Probably plotting his revenge against Mitas.
Bite me.
Couldn't taste any worse than this chow.
All right, one of you guys better go check to see if he's okay.
Ferris.
You all right? Yeah, I'm fine, sir.
At least until I ate this crap.
No new orders from STRATCOM? No, sir, just checked.
Nothing.
Hair of the dog, Ferris? Go to hell, Mitas.
Man, what's the matter? Takada, what's wrong? Get him to sick bay! Now! NCIS Season 5 Episode 6 Don't you have paperwork, DiNozzo? What do you think I'm doing? I take the paper and I make it work.
- Tonight's the night.
- What night? - Brain Matter.
- Brain Matter? Yeah, my friend's band.
Remember? Brain Matter.
Yeah, you guys all promised you'd go with me.
- All of us? - All of you.
- Even me? - Even you.
And you - and you.
- I don't think I can make it tonight.
I've got to catch up on paperwork.
And I've got a very important thing And other thing And, I-I've got Some people wear these spiky things just for show.
I don't.
I've got nothing better to do than-than to see A dead body, McGee? You read my mind, boss.
It's a quick read.
Pack up.
Full kit.
Motion sickness meds? Chopper's waiting at N.
A.
S.
Anacostia.
I'm fine on a chopper, boss.
Chopper takes us to the ship, McGee.
USNS Chimera.
Get briefed at Anacostia.
You know, Brain Matter's playing a really late set.
That's odd, there's no Chimera on the register.
Any reason why that would be? We'll get briefed at Anacostia.
Okay, I'll get my gear.
I'll get Duck.
Pack a toothbrush.
We're going to be there a while.
Well, look on the bright side, Probie.
Ixnay on the AinMatterBray.
Really wish I could go, sorry.
Thanks anyway.
Take a Brain check? Sorry.
We received word of the death this morning.
They say what killed the guy? Isn't that your job, Agent Gibbs? Commander Wilkins will have you out to the Chimera by nightfall.
Chimera's not listed in the Navy fleet.
It's not on the books.
The Chimera's a highly sophisticated, top-secret research vessel.
Researching what? That's need-to-know.
And you don't.
That's the "top secret" part, McGee.
Go in, get the body, come back out.
We've got a death to investigate.
Take witness statements, do what you need to do.
Just don't ask anything beyond your pay level.
We'll do our jobs, Commander.
NCIS was called out because no other federal investigative agency has clearance to get on the Chimera.
That said, even you guys don't have clearance to know what's on it.
I get it, boss.
It's a black ship.
Black sheep? No, they don't exist.
I've seen black sheep.
No, I said "black ship," not sheep.
Clearly the US Navy is still intent on pulling the wool over the eyes of the American people.
- Sir.
- No photos.
It's standard procedure.
There's nothing standard about the Chimera.
I don't want anyone documenting what's on that ship.
Bring the camera, McGee.
I suggest you keep your inquiry focused on that body.
Chimera, Lady 8-0-6 approaching your deck for landing.
Over.
Chimera, do you copy? Over.
The ship's LZ is obstructed.
We'll hold above deck in a hover.
We still can't raise any of the crew on the radio, sir.
Alert Commander Skinner.
Will do.
Where's the welcoming committee? The deck lights are on.
Nobody's home.
This is most unusual, Jethro.
- It is creepy.
- It's a ghost ship.
Agent Gibbs, we have reserve fuel.
We need to know if you're staying, sir.
Boss, I've got to tell you I don't have a real good feeling about this.
We're staying.
So this is the highly sophisticated, top secret ship? Looks more like an old tramp steamer.
I suppose they were trying to look inconspicuous, hoping to be left alone.
Can you get any more alone than this? I'm beginning to wonder whether they dropped us on the right ship.
Right ship.
Wrong night.
Every room is empty.
It's like the entire crew disappeared.
Welcome aboard the USNS Houdini.
Still playing.
Hey, it's your favorite, McGee Brain Matter.
Thanks.
I feel bad enough already, okay? Take another pill.
Sorry.
Wait a second, this doesn't make any sense.
Something suspicious? Absolutely.
This guy had a full house.
Why would he fold? "Dear Mary Beth.
Good news.
Overheard the captain say they had a good dive last night.
If they found what they were looking for, we could be heading home any day.
I can't tell you much about the mission, but" But? It stops there.
You think they all just went out for an evening swim? You notice something missing, Duck? People.
Life boats.
Yeah, I didn't notice any on the starboard side either.
The ship was abandoned.
In a hurry, it would seem.
Too much of a hurry to send a Mayday? No, no, Jethro.
No questions beyond your pay level.
Five minutes.
You owe me ten bucks.
Where's McGee? Calling Earl.
Shouting groceries.
Making street pizza.
Technicolor yawn.
I found something.
Lost something, too.
I guess you can't judge a black ship by its wool.
What are they researching, Duck? Something to do with rats, if I were to guess from these empty cages.
Skinner seemed pretty paranoid.
Guessing the mission wasn't purely humanitarian.
I doubt it's even human.
Thermosalinographs, fluorometer, carbon analyzer Whatever it is, it's not visible to the naked eye.
What was that? Could be the metal of the ship contracting in the cool of the evening.
Or not.
Sounded as if it was coming from the cargo hold above us.
Duck, you're with me.
Check out the cargo hold.
I was afraid you were going to say that.
Baa baa, black ship Have you any wool? Yes sir, Yes sir But no one gets to see it.
You're gonna need top secret government clearance Someone or something's on the ship with us.
I can feel it.
Yeah, I can see it.
Scared much, DiNozzo? Stuff it, McBarf Bag.
It's just a cute, little rat.
Why the irrational fear? It's not cute.
It's not little.
And it's not irrational.
Cowardly then? Not if you're uh, someone who survived a bout of pneumonic plague, thank you very much.
Rats are a known carrier.
I used to love rats before the plague.
- I was a regular Willard.
- What is a Willard? It's a movie.
Willard had a pet rat named Ben.
Social misfit.
Made fun of by his coworkers.
He had a creepy boss.
No wonder you're related.
You think Gibbs is creepy? I think she meant the social misfit, made fun of part.
Did you hear that? - No.
- No.
There's something aboard.
Other than a rat.
What do your astute ninja Mossad senses tell you it is? In Mossad part of the training is to be open to things you cannot see.
Or even understand.
You mean the supernatural? Call it what you want.
Not everything can be explained by the laws of the natural world.
You believe in ghosts? I do not not believe in ghosts.
Or demons.
Or monsters.
We are on a ship called the Chimera.
I thought Chimera meant delusion or fantasy.
In Greek mythology, a Chimera is a monster with a lion's head, a goat's body and a dragon's tail.
So you think they named this ship the Chimera because there's a monster on board? They did not name it the Puppy.
Boo.
Get in here.
Well, whatever's on this boat must be pretty damn scary if it got them to ditch this delicious-looking What is this stuff? Don't ask me.
That's not a request, it's a command.
The plot sickens.
This is our crime scene.
If there was a crime.
Well, you see these little flecks of brown in the blood? Coffee-ground emesis.
Usually a sign of alcoholism but you can get it from severe gastrointestinal distress.
Steady, Probie.
Tell that to my stomach.
Steady, Probie's stomach.
I would not stand there if I were you.
That's a good point.
You don't want to compromise the crime scene.
Gibbs.
Partial footprint.
In blood.
They lead out of here.
In here.
You were right, Ziva.
Someone is on board with us.
Not him.
There's something alive.
I can feel it.
A lion-headed dragon goat? Maybe.
Someone tossed a month's supply of creamed corn to make room for him.
Please don't say that again.
"Tossed"? No.
"Creamed corn.
" There's significant petechial hemorrhaging in the eyes.
These little pinpoints of blood.
It's often a sign of asphyxia.
Well, we won't know for sure until we conduct some tests.
McGee, get me a satellite link.
Abby.
Abby! Abby! McGee! You shouldn't sneak up on people like that! What the hell is that noise? Brain Matter.
I love them.
You guys okay? Yeah, yeah, we're peachy.
I am dealing with my boat phobia, Tony's dealing with his rat phobia, and Ziva's dealing with her ghost phobia.
So, what's Gibbs dealing with? Them.
Abs, patch me through to the Director.
No need, Jethro, I'm here.
What's the status? Well, the crew has disappeared - except for one.
- Did he tell you where they are? No.
He's dead.
Have you ID'd him? Yeah, hang on.
Dr.
Satoshi Takada.
What do you got on him, Abs? Dr.
Satoshi Takada.
Marine biologist.
Lieutenant Commander for the Navy since 1997.
PhD in biology from LSU.
Make sure Skinner knows he's got 20 men stranded in life boats.
I'll get right on it.
Does Ducky have a cause of death? We're still doing tests.
Don't know what killed him yet.
Yes, we do.
My initial diagnosis of asphyxia was incorrect, I'm afraid.
It looks as if Takada died of viral hemorrhagic fever to which, by now, we have all been exposed.
Can't leave the ship.
Well, that's not a problem, Jethro.
If my diagnosis is correct we'll all be dead by morning.
STRATCOM has received no signals from any life boats.
A crew of 20 doesn't just disappear into thin air.
Trust me, we'll find those men.
We're dispatching our rescue-and-recovery ops, and getting a relief crew out to the Chimera ASAP.
I need you to tell me what kind of research the Chimera was involved in.
Deep-sea marine-life exploration.
I'm afraid I can't say anything more than that.
It's classified.
I have top secret clearance, Commander.
The mission is above top secret, Director.
But trust me, it's pretty mundane stuff.
My medical examiner believes that Dr.
Takada died from a deadly virus he may have contracted from the "mundane stuff" he was studying.
Then he must be mistaken in his preliminary diagnosis.
Something on that ship killed him.
We have no reason to believe that Dr.
Takada's research had anything to do with his death.
Commander, if you insist on stonewalling me, I can take this to a higher command level.
I'm not stonewalling, Director.
I'm telling you the truth.
You're not telling me a damn thing.
You do not run black ops to carry out mundane research.
The lives of my agents are being threatened, and I need to know what is threatening them.
Primitive conditions, Duck.
Primitive? You remember that tiny thatched cottage I used as an examination room in Namibia? Yes, of course then I was working on Pygmies.
You know what killed him? Well, if Dr.
Takada was a bit too fond of his Scotch, what I'm seeing here is oesophageal varices, and this tear caused blood to enter his oesophagus, causing him to vomit blood.
Or, Dr.
Takada could have had a severe gastrointestinal infection, that produced a Mallory-Weiss tear.
In which case, the vomiting would have come first.
Neither diagnosis is inconsistent with haemorrhagic fever.
And if we were exposed? Well, I'm hampered from prognosticating further until Dr.
DiNozzo gives me a proper blood analysis.
Abby, where's the gas chromato-thinga? It's the, uh, boxy-looking thing with the, um, circular door-like thing on the front.
- I got it.
- Okay, good.
Now, put the sample in the circular rack-like thing at the top.
Got it.
Okay, press the blue start button.
It's-it's blue-ish and square-ish.
It's on a tower on the top, Tony.
The tower-like thing.
- Got it.
- While we're waiting the analysis, let's get the blood count.
So, place a small amount of blood on your slide.
It's amazing what you can learn from blood, even before it's analyzed.
I mean, the color, the texture, the smell.
Okay, um, now take out the dropper of Methylene Blue.
It's blue-ish and it's dropper-like.
Got it.
Okay, now place two drops of the Methylene Blue on your slide.
- We're good.
- Of course, blood that's passed through someone's GI tract has a very particular smell.
But since this guy may have died from a highly contagious virus, whatever you do, do not inhale it.
We're not good.
Hey, you okay, DiNozzo? Not for long.
Where's my blood analysis, DiNozzo? I'm working on it, Ducky.
Maybe the last thing I do.
Let's hope not.
May I? There's definitely an increased white blood count, with an absolute increase in lymphocytes having an atypical appearance.
That would be consistent with an acute viral infection.
I have located three rodent bites on Takada's body.
Perhaps he contracted the virus from a diseased rat.
That would be bad.
Maybe the top-secret whatever-it-was that Takada is studying is what killed him.
In which case it would be airborne.
That would be really, really bad.
Boss, I've got a feed from MTAC with Director Shepard and Commander Skinner.
They want you and Ducky patched in right away.
I'm flying a crew out to take control of the ship.
The risk is too great.
Director, you cannot allow anyone on this ship.
I can put anyone I want to on that ship.
Then I have no choice but to quarantine the Chimera.
On whose authority?!? Ours.
Dr.
Mallard is a medical examiner, Agent Gibbs is a federal officer.
- That's my ship! - Not anymore.
What kind of game you think you're playing, Gibbs? Any word from the missing crew? We have every possible resource looking for those men.
Look, given what we know, this is high precedence.
Those men may well have been exposed to the virus, too.
They may also need to be quarantined.
You don't need to explain to me the dangers involved here.
It might've helped if you had explained them to us.
If that is all, Director, I'd like to go find out what this virus is before it kills me.
And quite possibly, everyone else on this ship, too.
Commander, I think it's time you tell me what I need to know about your ship.
I cannot divulge any more about the Chimera's mission than I already have.
Seeing as how my agents now have control over your ship, I am going to instruct them to investigate any and all aspects of the Chimera's operation that will help them determine what they are up against.
Nothing will be off limits.
You can't do that.
You can't stop me.
This is a classified mission.
Then read me into it.
Even if I wanted to read you into the Chimera's mission, I can't do that over an MTAC feed.
The file has to be read to you in person.
If you think I'm going to stand idly by while my agents' lives are in danger, you are sadly mistaken.
I will be waiting for you and your file, Commander.
Now, you.
We've been through almost every room on this ship.
"Almost" only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.
Could be a rat.
Have to be an awfully big one.
Or a ghost.
- Are you done? - Done searching the ship? We could always search it again.
I could stay here with Ducky.
Well, so he's not left alone.
I'm not alone.
I've got Takada to keep me company.
Duck.
Got it.
So, Takada, as one doctor to another, what is this horrid virus which caused your demise? Anyone else feeling itchy? Maybe that's a bug bite.
Or a rat bite.
No, no, no, look at that spot.
- It's a freckle.
- It's not a freckle.
- Freckle.
- Never had a freckle there.
You've always had that freckle.
How would you know whether I had a freckle or didn't have a freckle? And by the way, I have never had that freckle! Yes, Jethro? Give me the symptoms for hemorrhagic fever.
Well, initially, one might experience a feeling paranoia and a growing sense of dread.
Then, more obvious physiological symptoms would manifest themselves.
Such as? Such as the appearance of atopic melanosomes.
Come again? Spots.
Possibly itchy.
Then, a fast-rising fever, of course.
I knew it.
I'm gonna die.
I inhaled it.
God! Definitely didn't picture my demise like this.
I always figured I'd go out like Cagney in White Heat.
Fiery explosion.
Or Redford and Newman in Butch Cassidy hail of bullets.
Or Charlie Chaplin in The Gold Rush.
How did he die? Silently.
Ziva! - Didn't you see that? - See what? Someone, something was running.
Surely I'm not the only one who saw that.
The Chimera? I swear there was something there.
It's not here now.
It ran down the passageway, it made a right here and then it And then? It disappeared.
I know there was something there.
Like my freckle! Boss? Biohazard.
Sounds inviting.
McGee? Looks like some kind of cyber-lock with a bar code and touch memory.
It's right up your alley, McGeek.
It's going to take time.
We're not going anywhere.
Thought you said you weren't going anywhere.
If you want, Ziva I could check you for spots.
- No, thanks.
- I'm sure you've got hot spots, - warm spots - DiNozzo.
Get this to Ducky.
Me? That's a dead, diseased rat which is why it may aid Dr.
Mallard with his investigation.
Which is why I'd be pleased as punch to walk back through this ship with a dead, diseased rat.
You can show Ducky your freckle.
You stinky, stinky.
Yes, Alex, I'll take "Horror Films That Take Place on Ships" for $500.
Thank you.
Oh, goodie.
Double Jeopardy! Oh, geez.
Oh, dear.
Oh, crap.
- I don't suppose you hear footsteps? - Yeah, I hear 'em.
It's just me.
And Ben.
- Bag that thing.
- Ziva? Thanks.
Well, this moment is almost perfect.
All we need is a storm.
McGee? - Yeah.
- You all right? I've had better days, Boss.
Tripped over a barrel.
Made this kinda Bangy, crashy sound, like thunder? You crack the lock? No.
Not yet.
The touch screen it's a bit I'm working on it.
Why don't you work on turning the lights back on? I think we just passed the electrical room.
It's like Aliens.
Numero Uno.
Ripley, light in hand, moving through endless corridors searching for a hideous monster.
You ever see Run Silent, Run Deep? The "run silent" part sounds good.
The electrical room should be right here.
Let me out of here! Here's the crew list.
He's the cook.
Get these shackles off of me! - Why were you hiding? - Why did you attack us? - Why'd the crew abandon ship? - What happened to Takada? You asking me? It was that thing, wasn't it? What thing? I knew there was a thing.
- What thing? - They brought a thing out of the water.
Takada was studying it.
That's what killed him.
Isn't it? - Don't know.
- Don't lie to me! It's killing me, too, isn't it?! You know what if I don't kill you first.
Sit down, and tell us what happened here.
What happened to the crew? They abandoned ship.
Why? They thought whatever killed Takada was contagious.
Captain forced me to stay behind.
He thought I had already been exposed from all the blood - he puked on me.
- Nobody sent a Mayday.
The radio operator was supposed to.
He was the last to leave the ship.
So you were left here alone? I thought I was.
And then someone hit me.
Who? I don't know.
They hit me from behind.
Maybe they did, maybe they didn't.
Why would I lie? - Why were you hiding? - Why did you run? I thought you were the ones that hit me.
There's someone else on this ship.
What's in that biohazard room? Don't ask me.
I'm just the cook.
Come on! You never overheard one conversation, one argument about what's locked up in there? - That area was off limits to me! - Sit down! You live with these people, you sleep with them, you work with them, you can't tell me what's in that room?! That's where it is.
The bug.
I don't get it.
The breakers aren't tripped, the conduits are fine.
Tony, check behind this panel over here.
- Tony? - Feel my head.
Why? Just feel it.
I don't want to.
It's all sweaty.
Exactly.
I got the freakin' fever.
I'm burning up, man.
The ventilation is off, Tony.
We're all burning up.
This is different.
I'm dying, McGee.
You know, the last time you were dying of a horrible disease, you were a little bit more stoic about the whole thing.
I was younger then, carefree.
It was two years ago.
The last time I almost died, someone blew up my car, so I've almost died twice, and this is the third time, and bad stuff happens in threes, and I'm out of almosts.
I'm telling you, man, this time I'm dying.
I know it.
But until you are actually dead can you please help me fix this thing? Go take a look behind that panel over there, see if maybe one of the leads got fried.
Thanks.
I think I found the problem, assuming this ship runs on tiny little batteries.
Lithium.
Like camera batteries.
Odd.
Someone must have hidden them in there.
Transponders.
From what? Well my guess EPIRBs.
That's my guess, too.
What are EPIRBs again? "Containment of aforementioned microbial species, deadly or otherwise, is to remain under the guardianship of the operation's chief scientist until such time it can be safely transported to Naval Research Headquarters.
" Biowarfare research is illegal.
We signed a treaty.
So did the Russians, and we've spotted their fishing trawlers in areas of the Bering Sea that aren't considered fishable.
So two wrongful fishing expeditions make a right? We're just trying to get our hands on the next generation of biological weaponry before our enemies do.
Do you file that under deception or hypocrisy? Non-disclosure agreement.
Do you understand why the Navy doesn't want anyone to know where the ship is or what it's doing? And do you understand the Navy's secret could cost my agents their lives? I got a support vessel on its way with medical facilities on board and a decontamination unit.
Great.
Show it to me.
How exactly do you propose I do that? There must be an ORION or two that you could scramble overhead.
I think you're gonna have to trust me.
I don't know you well enough, Commander.
We can fix that.
You can cut the charm.
Higher-ranking, richer, and definitely better-looking men have tried that on me and didn't get very far.
Now, I can't speak for you, Commander, but I didn't get where I am because of my looks, so get your eyes off of me and put some on that ship.
What's that? Transponders taken off the life jacket.
Why I'd do that? You didn't want the crew located once they abandoned ship.
I didn't sabotage any life jackets! - There's no one else on the ship.
- There has to be.
You were in the electrical room when the power went out.
I wouldn't know how to shut off the power.
I told you, I'm just the cook! Just the cook? That's what Steven Seagal said in Under Siege, look at the havoc he wreaked.
What about The Hunt for Red October? The saboteur was the cook.
I'm sorry, boss, I'm just saying, that, you know, just 'cause he says he's the cook doesn't mean he's any less potentially guilty.
He could have slipped poison into Takada's food.
I swear, I didn't kill Takada! Not with poison, at least.
The good news is I've confirmed beyond a doubt that Takada did indeed die of hemorrhagic fever.
That's great news, Ducky.
However, the virus was injected into him it was not airborne.
I've also examined the dead rat that Tony so heroically brought to me.
Ironically, it died from having bitten Takada.
So I'm not gonna die? Well, the bottom line is there was no outbreak on the ship.
He was injected without knowing it.
If I could do a proper and thorough toxicology, I think we'd find that he had first been drugged.
Takada was murdered.
Why would someone do that? To scare everyone off the ship.
But why? I mean what's so valuable on this ship that someone would kill for it? About time, McGee.
I had nothing to do with it.
Someone's messing with us.
Maybe Mitas is right.
Someone else is aboard.
Gibbs, up here! I saw something running on deck.
Something or someone? - I don't know, it was moving fast.
- It or him? I don't know, I have lost it.
I'll say.
- Gibbs, I swear - I believe you, Ziva.
See? Someone else who believes in what they cannot see.
No, I believe what I can see wasn't there before.
Someone's sending a signal.
I believe you.
Mitas was telling the truth.
He's not a ghost, but he's got a certain "B horror flick" thing going.
You have no idea what you're dealing with.
I think we do Lieutenant Ferris.
Communications Officer.
Who failed to communicate his crewmates abandoned ship.
You're not very good at your job, are you Lieutenant? - You're wasting your time.
- I think we're wasting yours.
The Navy's on its way.
You're going to the brig.
- You'll be dead before they arrive.
- Save it.
We know about the virus.
Outbreak was a hoax.
It's not the virus that'll kill you.
Satisfied, Director? I'm not that easy, Commander.
That doesn't surprise me.
That must be your support vessel.
Can we get any closer? I'm sure we can.
It's going to reach the Chimera a lot faster than you said it would.
That's not our support vessel.
The approaching craft has no known identification.
That seems to be the way things operate around here.
Looks to be the size of a small assault vessel.
Same type of boats I've seen used by marauders.
- Pirates? - Cruise ships, tankers, steamers they'll attack anything to make a buck.
How long? You should be able to put eyes on it any minute.
These people come heavily armed, Agent Gibbs.
Automatic weapons, grenades, even RPGs.
- What are they after? - I can't divulge that information.
Hold on.
You tell me heavily armed pirates are coming to attack me, you better tell me what they're looking for.
Your agent hasn't been read in.
I don't give a damn about your secrets, Commander.
I care about keeping my team safe.
Tell me what they want.
I can't do that.
Can someone give me a damn answer? - Put me through to STRATCOM.
- All right! Wait! Look.
The secret material they have dredged up from the ocean What am I looking for? Something the size of a bread box? A gallon drum? It can fit in a vial.
But it's untested.
- Unproven.
- Ferris has already killed one guy.
He's put 20 others at risk.
This is worth something to someone.
Boss, I cracked it.
Now, before we go in there, the power is back on, so the ventilation and filtration system should also be back on.
I know it says "biohazard," but if there's anything biological in there, the room should be negatively pressured.
Thing is, this room is not.
Boss You-you really could risk exposure if you stay in there very long.
What is it? Gibbs! We've spotted the assault craft.
Five minutes, maybe less.
Aleksei? Aleksei? Ferris.
Ducky, how long before Ferris wakes up? A couple of hours.
It'll take him considerably longer to wipe off the fake blood.
How'd you disable the ship, McGee? Spew all over the engine? Steering has several nonlinear effects saturation, dead-zone, rate-limiting Bottom line is, ship's still able able to sail in one big circle.
Russian.
Orders from the Russian Navy.
They weren't pirates? Soviet state-sponsored pirates.
But why? McGee? Russian nuclear warhead? There's your ghost, Ziva.
The ghost of Soviet Project K629.
So, this whole thing was a Russian black ops mission to recover their nuke? So, pirates that weren't really pirates but were actually Russian sailors were on a covert mission to steal a Navy research ship that wasn't actually a Navy research ship in order to get back nuclear weapons that we thought they didn't think we had retrieved? Perhaps we should call the Navy.
Tell them that we're on the Russian black ship, and the Russians are on theirs.
I guess the Navy didn't want anyone to know their black ship ever existed.
How did they know we were off the ship? Don't think they did.