Space Ghost Coast to Coast (1993) s05e06 Episode Script
Warren
And now back to The Warren Show.
Oh, I love Warren.
Tell us, space, what are your super powers?
I've developed a few of my own.
I, for example, can leap tall buildings in a single bound.
I jump over buildings.
I also have X-ray vision, and I can make change for a dollar.
Hee hee!
Ha ha!
Thank you.
Wait a minute.
I don't remember-- I can also bend my thumb, by the way.
I've never been on Warren.
That guy's a replicant.
I can bend a spoon with my mind,
but it has to be a plastic spoon.
Whoa.
Hee hee!
Ha ha!
I can't do the real spoon.
This is such bull.
I am superunsatisfied to be replicated
in this way, superunsatisfied.
I need to get to the bottom of this.
Come on, boys.
Let's take a ride.
Pick me up a hitchhiker, would you?
You're coming with us, zorak.
We'll go see Warren.
Then we'll swing by the department
store and get you some new slacks.
And a hitchhiker?
We'll see.
Shotgun!
Shotgun!
Yes!
Stop it.
Stop it.
Space Ghost, "I Have X-ray vision,
and I can make change for a dollar."
Stop it! Stop it.
I can make change for $5.00 if I had to.
Quit it.
Is this it?
Quit it!
Yup.
It's just like I remember it.
Oh, look, they put in a Mr. winters over there.
You see, boys, Warren was my mentor.
He was the wind beneath my cape.
I learned so much that summer, perhaps too much.
Hmm, let's go back.
What am I doing?
I love Warren.
I need to see him.
But he hurts me.
But I've been replicated.
But he hurts me.
But I have been replicated.
They were closed.
I want to see.
There's nothing to see.
Now, who wants new slacks?
I don't wear pants, and I don't know anyone who does.
Yeah. We want to see Warren.
All right.
Welcome, Space Ghost.
Warren is expecting you.
My power bands.
You know the rules-- no weapons.
Hey, you live here?
Oh, I see you brought a mantis.
Ahem.
And a fireman.
How lucky.
Where's the tub?
Can I have this?
Uh, that was broke already.
Zorak.
Somebody boiling vinegar?
Zorak!
What?
Shut your beak.
Before you close it with medical sutures?
No. Before I seal it using a powerful
space-age adhesive, which I keep
in my Fanny pack.
You know the rules, no Fanny packs.
My breakfast bars!
Ladies and gentlemen of the arena, I give you Warren.
Well, it's been a long time.
Yeah.
Warren, I've been replicated, man.
Hmm, do I know you?
You tell me, pal.
No. I don't know you.
Warren, you had me on your show last night, but I wasn't
on your show last night.
I was right there in my living room
watching you having me on your show.
Nice bush.
Ah, that's funny, man.
Just, ah, funny bugs like you, ah,
talking like that in my castle
end up looking for their teeth 2 blocks away on queen street.
Zorak, let me handle this, please.
Nice bush.
Listen, I can burn you like the crazy world of Arthur brown.
Zorak.
Nice bush.
Ow! Ow! Ow!
We're both green, aren't we, zorak?
But I got rays, don't I?
Don't I?
Don't I?
You better answer him.
Don't I, zorak?!
Ah, go fertilize yourself.
Aah!
Warren, I have come many Miles.
I present myself before you today
to find out why you've betrayed
our sacred covenant.
Do what, now?
Who was that you had on your show?
Because it wasn't me.
Oh, yeah.
That was just Gary.
Gary, huh?
Gary.
Yeah. Hee hee.
Gary Yup.
Are you trying to shuck me?
Listen to me.
Over there in the corner, you'll find a mystical cauldron.
Conjure up Gary, and he will appear before you.
He knows the answers to the questions that vex you so.
Now, I must adjourn to my sunny spot.
Wait. You didn't answer my question.
I didn't come here to talk to a cauldron.
Warren, wait.
He seemed like a good enough guy.
Yeah. Very personable.
Come on. Let's hold hands and conjure up this joker.
GaryOm
Hey, you guys have to do it, too, or it won't work.
Oh.
Om Om Gary Gary Om Om
Gary Gary Gary Gary.
Gary Om Gary Om Gary
Om Om GaryOm Om Ok.
Om Got it.
Om We're good.
We got it.
Ha ha! Thank you.
It's him.
Whoa.
It's Space Ghost.
It is indeed.
It is not indeed.
Do you know who am, Gary?
Take a good look.
I'm Space Ghost.
You're what?!
That's right, Gary.
I'm the real Space Ghost.
So am I.
No, see, I'm the one who flew around
the galaxy saving planets, not you.
Where do you get off being me?
In the early days, back when Space
Ghost was first born, they let me
play Space Ghost, and that was-- what a thrill.
Who's they?
Mr. Joe barbera and Mr. Fred silverman,
the gentlemen who chose me
to play you.
Nobody plays me, Jack.
I play me.
Hey, Gary, who played me?
Moltar, Moltar, I have a picture of you.
I have a picture of zorak over there
when he was just a mild mutant.
Hey, remember when I smashed your camera with that rock?
Oh, yes.
What wonderful days.
Gary, can you come home with us and be our new dad?
Now, wait just a second.
Can't you see?
Are you all blind?
Moltar, zorak, this is all just some demented mind trick
brought on by Warren.
I still have got the invisi-belt.
I've got that in the trunk of the car right now.
Listen up, you deluded old freak,
don't make me use my power bands on you.
Space Ghost, uh, you don't have your power bands.
Stay out of this, Moltar.
The time has come for me to put a lid on this cosmic crackpot.
This looks like real trouble. Hand me that veeblefetzer.
Here you go, buddy.
You're counting on hitting me with
that veeblefetzer, aren't you?
Oh, yes, yes, yes.
Because then you will become me, right?
Oh, yes.
That's just what I thought.
Well, here's something you hadn't
counted on, Gary This set of
auxiliary power bands that I had hidden in my space cavity.
Prepare for one of my harmful rays.
Hold on a second.
You're going to regret having messed with me.
Turning it on.
Prepare For one of my harmful rays.
Hey, sock it to me.
Pucker up, Gary.
Moltar, haul that to the phantom cruiser.
No! You've destroyed my creation.
Warren, you used that greasy replicant
to lure me back here, didn't you?
Yeah. You know it.
But why, Warren?
Well, ha ha.
Never mind why.
The past is just the future that already happened.
Now, come on over here and I'll cradle you.
Not you You.
I don't understand, Warren.
Often we fear what we don't understand, Space Ghost.
Come closer to me.
Closer.
I must be out of my nut.
What am I doing here, and why is Warren smelling me?
How are your folks and all them?
They're all kind of, uh, uh
Why don't you take your cape off, huh?
No, please.
Listen to me.
Love and fear are often the same thing.
Ok. Well, thank you.
Don't thank me.
Just hold me.
Mmm. Prime rib.
Oh, wait. Wait a second.
Coast to coast theme music playing]
Greetings, citizens.
Hey, what the-- I'm Warren.
Is everybody getting enough carbon dioxide?
Aha. That's why you brought me here
So you could steal my show.
But you already have a show.
Why, Warren? Why?
Well, you know
I just felt like it.
Well, you greedy manipulating yard shrub, I'm not going to let
your Warren impost-sonator steal
my show right out from under me.
But, Space Ghost, how do you know
that I'm not the impost-sonator?
Well
You've lost me there, Warren.
And now you must pay, you hateful hedge.
Aah!
You've destroyed Warren. I'm telling.
You've destroyed Warren.
I'm telling Tell him this I'm tell
When you see him in Poland.
That was good.
What else is on?
That was good.
What else is on?
Oh, I love Warren.
Tell us, space, what are your super powers?
I've developed a few of my own.
I, for example, can leap tall buildings in a single bound.
I jump over buildings.
I also have X-ray vision, and I can make change for a dollar.
Hee hee!
Ha ha!
Thank you.
Wait a minute.
I don't remember-- I can also bend my thumb, by the way.
I've never been on Warren.
That guy's a replicant.
I can bend a spoon with my mind,
but it has to be a plastic spoon.
Whoa.
Hee hee!
Ha ha!
I can't do the real spoon.
This is such bull.
I am superunsatisfied to be replicated
in this way, superunsatisfied.
I need to get to the bottom of this.
Come on, boys.
Let's take a ride.
Pick me up a hitchhiker, would you?
You're coming with us, zorak.
We'll go see Warren.
Then we'll swing by the department
store and get you some new slacks.
And a hitchhiker?
We'll see.
Shotgun!
Shotgun!
Yes!
Stop it.
Stop it.
Space Ghost, "I Have X-ray vision,
and I can make change for a dollar."
Stop it! Stop it.
I can make change for $5.00 if I had to.
Quit it.
Is this it?
Quit it!
Yup.
It's just like I remember it.
Oh, look, they put in a Mr. winters over there.
You see, boys, Warren was my mentor.
He was the wind beneath my cape.
I learned so much that summer, perhaps too much.
Hmm, let's go back.
What am I doing?
I love Warren.
I need to see him.
But he hurts me.
But I've been replicated.
But he hurts me.
But I have been replicated.
They were closed.
I want to see.
There's nothing to see.
Now, who wants new slacks?
I don't wear pants, and I don't know anyone who does.
Yeah. We want to see Warren.
All right.
Welcome, Space Ghost.
Warren is expecting you.
My power bands.
You know the rules-- no weapons.
Hey, you live here?
Oh, I see you brought a mantis.
Ahem.
And a fireman.
How lucky.
Where's the tub?
Can I have this?
Uh, that was broke already.
Zorak.
Somebody boiling vinegar?
Zorak!
What?
Shut your beak.
Before you close it with medical sutures?
No. Before I seal it using a powerful
space-age adhesive, which I keep
in my Fanny pack.
You know the rules, no Fanny packs.
My breakfast bars!
Ladies and gentlemen of the arena, I give you Warren.
Well, it's been a long time.
Yeah.
Warren, I've been replicated, man.
Hmm, do I know you?
You tell me, pal.
No. I don't know you.
Warren, you had me on your show last night, but I wasn't
on your show last night.
I was right there in my living room
watching you having me on your show.
Nice bush.
Ah, that's funny, man.
Just, ah, funny bugs like you, ah,
talking like that in my castle
end up looking for their teeth 2 blocks away on queen street.
Zorak, let me handle this, please.
Nice bush.
Listen, I can burn you like the crazy world of Arthur brown.
Zorak.
Nice bush.
Ow! Ow! Ow!
We're both green, aren't we, zorak?
But I got rays, don't I?
Don't I?
Don't I?
You better answer him.
Don't I, zorak?!
Ah, go fertilize yourself.
Aah!
Warren, I have come many Miles.
I present myself before you today
to find out why you've betrayed
our sacred covenant.
Do what, now?
Who was that you had on your show?
Because it wasn't me.
Oh, yeah.
That was just Gary.
Gary, huh?
Gary.
Yeah. Hee hee.
Gary Yup.
Are you trying to shuck me?
Listen to me.
Over there in the corner, you'll find a mystical cauldron.
Conjure up Gary, and he will appear before you.
He knows the answers to the questions that vex you so.
Now, I must adjourn to my sunny spot.
Wait. You didn't answer my question.
I didn't come here to talk to a cauldron.
Warren, wait.
He seemed like a good enough guy.
Yeah. Very personable.
Come on. Let's hold hands and conjure up this joker.
GaryOm
Hey, you guys have to do it, too, or it won't work.
Oh.
Om Om Gary Gary Om Om
Gary Gary Gary Gary.
Gary Om Gary Om Gary
Om Om GaryOm Om Ok.
Om Got it.
Om We're good.
We got it.
Ha ha! Thank you.
It's him.
Whoa.
It's Space Ghost.
It is indeed.
It is not indeed.
Do you know who am, Gary?
Take a good look.
I'm Space Ghost.
You're what?!
That's right, Gary.
I'm the real Space Ghost.
So am I.
No, see, I'm the one who flew around
the galaxy saving planets, not you.
Where do you get off being me?
In the early days, back when Space
Ghost was first born, they let me
play Space Ghost, and that was-- what a thrill.
Who's they?
Mr. Joe barbera and Mr. Fred silverman,
the gentlemen who chose me
to play you.
Nobody plays me, Jack.
I play me.
Hey, Gary, who played me?
Moltar, Moltar, I have a picture of you.
I have a picture of zorak over there
when he was just a mild mutant.
Hey, remember when I smashed your camera with that rock?
Oh, yes.
What wonderful days.
Gary, can you come home with us and be our new dad?
Now, wait just a second.
Can't you see?
Are you all blind?
Moltar, zorak, this is all just some demented mind trick
brought on by Warren.
I still have got the invisi-belt.
I've got that in the trunk of the car right now.
Listen up, you deluded old freak,
don't make me use my power bands on you.
Space Ghost, uh, you don't have your power bands.
Stay out of this, Moltar.
The time has come for me to put a lid on this cosmic crackpot.
This looks like real trouble. Hand me that veeblefetzer.
Here you go, buddy.
You're counting on hitting me with
that veeblefetzer, aren't you?
Oh, yes, yes, yes.
Because then you will become me, right?
Oh, yes.
That's just what I thought.
Well, here's something you hadn't
counted on, Gary This set of
auxiliary power bands that I had hidden in my space cavity.
Prepare for one of my harmful rays.
Hold on a second.
You're going to regret having messed with me.
Turning it on.
Prepare For one of my harmful rays.
Hey, sock it to me.
Pucker up, Gary.
Moltar, haul that to the phantom cruiser.
No! You've destroyed my creation.
Warren, you used that greasy replicant
to lure me back here, didn't you?
Yeah. You know it.
But why, Warren?
Well, ha ha.
Never mind why.
The past is just the future that already happened.
Now, come on over here and I'll cradle you.
Not you You.
I don't understand, Warren.
Often we fear what we don't understand, Space Ghost.
Come closer to me.
Closer.
I must be out of my nut.
What am I doing here, and why is Warren smelling me?
How are your folks and all them?
They're all kind of, uh, uh
Why don't you take your cape off, huh?
No, please.
Listen to me.
Love and fear are often the same thing.
Ok. Well, thank you.
Don't thank me.
Just hold me.
Mmm. Prime rib.
Oh, wait. Wait a second.
Coast to coast theme music playing]
Greetings, citizens.
Hey, what the-- I'm Warren.
Is everybody getting enough carbon dioxide?
Aha. That's why you brought me here
So you could steal my show.
But you already have a show.
Why, Warren? Why?
Well, you know
I just felt like it.
Well, you greedy manipulating yard shrub, I'm not going to let
your Warren impost-sonator steal
my show right out from under me.
But, Space Ghost, how do you know
that I'm not the impost-sonator?
Well
You've lost me there, Warren.
And now you must pay, you hateful hedge.
Aah!
You've destroyed Warren. I'm telling.
You've destroyed Warren.
I'm telling Tell him this I'm tell
When you see him in Poland.
That was good.
What else is on?
That was good.
What else is on?