The Dead Zone s05e06 Episode Script
Lotto Fever
I had the perfect life Until I was in a coma for six years, And then I woke up And found my fiancee married to another man And they're raising my son.
Everything has changed Including me.
One touch, and I can see things, Things that happened, things that will happen.
You should see what I see.
Hello? Oh, you're home.
- Yeah, I just got back.
- Oh.
How was boston? Oh, it was great.
Can't say the same about my flight back, though.
You'd think a guy with psychic vision Would know better than to sit between a screaming baby And a guy with chronic air-Sickness, But, uh Well, I guess you're human after all.
Listen, Walt's going to fire up the grill and rent a few movies.
- You interested? - Oh, no, thanks.
All I want is a hot shower and a soft pillow.
I'll take a rain check, okay? Okay.
Bye.
Whoa.
Mr.
Popularity.
Back in your house! Now! - Anybody else here? - No.
Listen, take whatever you want, okay? I don't keep much cash in the house.
You can have my watch.
Why would I want your watch? You don't remember me, do you? Should I? Hi, operator.
Yes, please.
I'm looking for a number.
It's a chinese restaurant here in bangor Hey, how's it hanging, old friend? You know what I was thinking? What you need in here is one of those fancy espresso machines.
You know, espresso? It's like the steamed milk, the little tiny cups? No, you still don't speak american, do you? It's all right.
You know, there's plenty of room for- Yeah, that's it.
Uh-Huh.
Thank you.
Okay.
You take her easy.
Thank you, operator.
Hey.
- You're that psychic guy.
- Sorry? Tommy Smith.
- Johnny.
- I knew it! I never forget a face! That's my gift.
Uh, Boyd Lumely.
Nice to meet you.
Not you, operator.
Hey, what do you think about helping a brother out? Excuse me? Hit me with the lotto digits.
Come on.
I don't know about you, but I sure as hell could use a million bucks.
Listen, buddy, that's not how the gift works, So, uh Sorry about that.
No kidding, huh? Yes, operator.
Great.
Seems like your gift worked well enough to get your name on tv or in some fancy magazine, But I'm nobody, huh? Just some crummy civil servant, something a big shot like you might scrape off his shoe.
- Listen- - I know your type.
I've been getting kicked in the teeth by guys like you my whole life.
Look, I've got to go.
Good luck to you, all right? Hey, come on, John.
Why don't you spare some of that mojo juice for us little people, huh? Come on, even us losers deserve a break once in a while.
Good luck.
Jerk.
I'm in.
Everything 20/20 now? Look, those numbers weren't for the lotto.
It was a phone number for a thal restaurant.
I just wanted some takeout, that's all.
Yeah? Well, the point is, I played, and I won.
A million bucks.
Why do I get the feeling you're not here to thank me? Oh, I'll thank you, all right.
I'll thank you after you get me back everything I lost.
After you get me back my life.
Sweet wheels, huh? This baby's got digital-Response shock absorbers, Top-Of-The-Line stereo, real-Time GPS, And get this- She speaks italian.
- You speak italian? - That's not the point, John.
The point is it's the best car money can buy.
Top-Shelf all the way.
Listen, you've got to believe me.
I did not pick the winning numbers, and I won't be able to do it again, all right? - I don't expect you to.
- You don't? You know how many questions there'd be If the same guy was to win the lotto twice? I got a better idea.
What's that? To make another million dollars? Well, actually, more like See, after I blew the lotto money, I had to keep the ship afloat, so I went out on the street.
Oh, so you borrowed money from a loan shark.
Not "a" shark.
The great white monster himself.
- Who? - Names aren't important.
Time is.
He's given me until midnight tonight to come up with the balance, or he's going to disconnect my head from my spinal cord.
All we need is a quick 25 grand to get the ball rolling.
- And how do you plan to get it? - In time, John.
Everything in time.
We're sorry.
It is not necessary to dial a "1"- Hey, give me that.
Give me that! Now, I want you to listen to me.
I got nothing to lose by blowing your head off.
You understand? Yeah.
Avvertimento.
Il livello di vostra benzina e'basso.
"Benzini e'botto"? - What's- What's that? - We're out of gas.
Out of - You speak italian? All right, pull over over here.
Don't try anything crazy.
You got the keys? So? Did I lie? Or is it everything we ever dreamed about? It's so big.
Yeah, and it's all for you and Em.
You know, if you want to put down another 10,000, I can cut those finance payments for you.
Hey, do I look like the kind of man who can't pay his debts? They can take their lousy pension plan and they can stick it where the sun don't shine.
Whoa.
What are you doing? I quit.
- Where have you been? - I was out.
- At 3:00 in the morning? - Well, I was with my friends.
Yeah, you mean the leeches.
That man called from the bank again today about the mortgage payments.
I told you we shouldn't have borrowed so much.
Don't worry about it.
I'll take care of it tomorrow.
You're drunk.
You're always drunk.
Your family? Yeah.
So how do they feel about all this? Never mind how they feel.
You don't worry how they feel.
I want you to take your clothes off.
- Do what? - You heard me.
You can wave that gun around all you want at me.
There's a couple of things I'm ready to die for.
You got me? That's not what I meant.
What the hell do you think I am? Sorry about the standard black, but they only had one white-On-White left in the store.
Yeah, I'll try to get over that, okay? All right.
We've got to go meet a guy over at the country club.
I hope you don't mind walking, Lumely.
What do you mean, walking? Where's my- Hey! Hey, where are you going? That's my car! Why me? Could this day get any worse? I had to open my big mouth.
All right, play it straight and nobody gets hurt.
You understand? What's up, John? - Walt.
What a surprise.
- Yeah, back at you.
Sarah said you just got back from boston.
That's right.
And she said you'd take a shower and crash.
That was the plan, yeah.
What's with the monkey suit? Oh! Uh I'm afraid that's my fault, officer.
Who are you? He's an old friend of mine From high school.
This is boyd Lumely.
High school, huh? Oh, so you must know my wife, - Sarah Bannerman.
- Sarah Bannerman? It used to be bracknell.
Sarah bracknell.
Oh, yeah, sure.
Great gal.
Quite a looker, as I recall.
You guys stay out of trouble, okay? We will.
What the hell was that, huh? You told the guy my name.
I was just making conversation, okay? If there's a rule book on all this stuff, I'll be glad to read it for you.
You'd better just pray that cop doesn't come back.
So how are we going to get out of here, genius? Well, I guess it shouldn't surprise me that you know how to hotwire a car, huh? Your wife and daughter must be very proud of you.
That's what this is all about, isn't it? You wouldn't understand.
Oh, yeah? Try me.
After I hit the jackpot, I kind of lost control, all right? Gambling, bad investments, too many bills Next thing you know, I'm sleeping in the back seat of my car, or at least what used to be my car.
I guess I wasn't so sexy with empty pockets, because one day, I come home, they're gone.
- Did you try to talk to her? - Yeah, I tried, I tried to talk to her, but she wasn't Look, all you need to worry about is how you're going to get me that money.
That's it.
Now, drive.
- I ran into Johnny while I was out.
- At the video store? No, at the gas station, and check this out- He was wearing a tuxedo.
What? He was with some guy from high school.
Lumely? Boyd Lumely? Said he knew you.
Said you were "quite a looker.
" - Lumely - Yeah.
It doesn't ring a bell.
No? Marsha and Emily used to love this place.
You know what it costs to be a member here? - No.
How much? - Well, put it this way- If you have to ask, you ain't getting in.
So Here's to the future.
May you be alive to see me prosper.
It's not too late to do the right thing.
This thing can go really, really bad.
There he is.
- Who? - Him.
- He holds the key.
- What key? Exactly.
Move.
Hey! How's it hanging, bobby-Boy? Lumely.
I heard your membership had been revoked.
Uh, no, it's actually suspended and currently under appeal, thank you very much.
John, I'd like you to meet Maine's wealthiest cpa, Robert Westerfield.
Hello.
Nice to meet you, sir.
Nobody keeps that kind of money in their house.
Oh, I do.
Show me.
- Oh - Yeah.
Okay, but You cannot tell anyone, not even your priest.
- I don't go to church.
- Oh, you don't say.
How's that for creative bookkeeping? Come here.
Mm oh Mm? If you'll excuse me, I, uh I see a client.
Greedy bastard.
Well? What? What? Come on, I saw that look on your face.
If you think I'm going to steal that guy's money, you're crazier than you look.
You call yourself a psychic, huh? I wasn't the one who tripped up the alarm.
You could've warned me.
Come on, let's go.
I can't believe this.
I just committed armed burglary.
Relax.
I was the one with the gun.
Ah! Holy mother of mercy! There must be 30 Gs here! Congratulations.
Now you can drop me off at my house.
No one's going anywhere.
- This is just seed money.
- Seed money? Yeah.
I told you how much I owe.
What good's a lousy 30 grand? - It's time for phase two.
- I'm afraid to ask.
Okay, first, we've got to get back into our regular clothes, and then I've got a little errand to run.
This is great.
Now I can add peeping tom to my rap sheet.
Move.
It's pathetic, a grown man sneaking around in the dark.
Yeah, yeah, whatever.
Wait.
Listen.
That's my sweetie.
It breaks my heart to see her have to play that crummy old piano.
You know, at the big house, we had a brand new baby grand.
The sound would rip your heart out.
All right, just shut up.
- Let me do all the talking.
- Like I have a choice.
Boyd? Is that you? Uh What's going on? What are you doing sneaking around in the dark? - That's what I said.
- Who the hell are you? Just forget it, all right? We were just leaving.
You don't want to see Emily? This is my last report card.
Oh, em This is great.
Man, you must take after your mother, Because I sure never got grades like this.
- That's not true.
- Yeah? After the baby was born, Boyd got this idea he wanted to get into radio.
Said he was going to be the next howard stern, god forbid.
Is that right? He enrolled in night class at community college.
Three semesters, got all "a"s and "b"s.
How come you didn't finish? - Uh, I don't remember.
- I'll tell you why.
Same reason he never finished anything- He lost interest.
That's not true.
I just changed my mind, is all.
It's a free country, right? So how do you two know each other? - Actually- - John's a business associate.
Business? Yeah, that's a good one.
As a matter of fact, we're in the middle of a very big deal as we speak.
Are you coming to my recital tonight? It's a special midnight show at the park.
Um Actually, honey, I'm sorry, but I'm not going to be able to make it.
It's just I got to take care of something very, very important.
Oh God, for crying out loud.
It's at midnight.
Here, emily.
Go get some rest.
Grandpa's picking us up later.
Okay.
Bye, dad.
Hey, wait a minute.
Don't I get a hug? Okay.
Goodbye, baby.
You knock 'em dead, okay? Oh I love you so much.
You always remember that, All right? You remember how much your daddy loved you.
Okay, go on now.
I'll be up there in a minute.
- I'll be outside.
- Sit.
What's with the silver? - Tips.
- Tips? Don't tell me you went back to that waffle shack.
- I have bills to pay.
- I sent you money.
I like to work.
The wife of a millionaire shouldn't be slinging pancakes! You're not a millionaire, Boyd.
You're a mailman with a mental condition.
You'll change your tune after tonight.
Oh, yeah? Let's go.
Come on.
So why couldn't you just ask to borrow her car? I don't get why we had to steal it.
You saw the look in that woman's eyes.
She wouldn't spit on me if I was on fire.
Besides, the police will be looking for the cab by now.
You've got a nice family.
A little high-Strung, but nice.
Look out! - Start the car.
Come on.
- I'm trying.
Oh boy.
- Come on, start it! - I'm trying! Out of the car, Lumely! Get out, or we'll drag you out! Have it your way.
Oh, no.
Come on.
Quit fooling around.
The engine won't start.
I think it's flooded.
Hey! All right! That's enough! What are you doing? What's the matter with you guys? I told you to wave the bats, look scary.
Wave and look.
I didn't say anything about smashing up the car.
- Sorry, chief.
- Sorry.
Look at this.
Look at this hood.
Look at this.
Who's going to pay for that? You know what it costs to fix that? What's the matter with you? It was teddy's idea.
Me? You're the one who went crazy.
Hold on a second.
Who are you guys? This is Lenny Bitmore And Teddy Carmichael.
I used to work with them down at the post office.
Why are they smashing up your wife's car? Because I paid them a hundred bucks each to make it look like I was in danger, in case you didn't believe me.
Hey, get the hell out of here, okay? Game over.
Show's over.
Go.
Okay? - Sorry again about the Volvo.
- Go.
Way to go.
You're an idiot.
Yeah, well you're- You told me this would be fun! Get in and drive.
I don't know.
I just Oh It's getting late.
Okay, we'd better get going, too, huh? "Going"? Look, I'm not going anywhere.
Check that.
I'm actually going to go home, and then I'm going to call the police.
All right? Hey.
What are you going to do? Shoot me? Is that how it's going? Shoot me.
Let me tell you something - At this point, a bullet in the head would be a huge relief.
What do you think I am? A cold-Blooded killer? I'm a charles manson? I'm a mailman, for christ's sake.
Hey, you want me to say sorry? I'm sorry.
I was never going to hurt anybody, especially not you.
- Oh, my god.
- What, you want me to beg? You want me to beg? I'm begging.
I'm on my knees.
I'm on my knees.
Get up, will you? If you won't promise to help me, then shoot me Because if you leave me here, I'm a dead man.
Lumely If you lie to me one more time, you're on your own.
Okay? Oh That is great.
Thanks.
Thanks a lot, J.
That's really great.
I really appreciate it.
I knew you wouldn't leave me here to die.
Yeah, how can you be so sure? - It's because - Don't touch.
You know, because, like, you're the hero, and the hero never leaves the sidekick behind.
No, you are not my sidekick, all right? Okay.
I could be.
Okay, we just- We've got to make one more stop along the way, okay? - It's very important.
- Yeah, I'm sure it is, Lumely.
Bannerman.
Hey, what's up, Roscoe? Have you seen the surveillance tape? All right, I'll meet you over at the station as soon as I can.
- Trouble? - I don't know.
I'll call you later.
Oh, now it's all clear to me.
You're going to win a million dollars playing bingo.
Very funny.
Hey, pop.
Not even going to say hello, huh? Hello.
Hey, uh, pop, this is John.
He's a friend of mine.
Friend, huh? I hope you didn't lend him any money.
I wish it had been that easy.
So how come you're working so late? A man doesn't quit till the work's done.
I tried to teach you that.
Yeah, but a man with money shouldn't have to work at all.
I mean, who wants to be a sucker, right? I've been working hard all my life, two jobs, sometimes three, just to keep food on the table.
- That make me a sucker? - No, that's not what I meant.
It's just I got plans.
I got big plans.
You got a wife and a daughter.
There's nothing bigger than that.
Hey, uh I got something for you.
This is $4,000.
Take some time off.
You know, enjoy yourself for a change.
I don't want any time off And I don't want your money.
Okay, well, put it in the poor box, Or burn it.
I don't care.
So long, pop.
Let's go.
Okay, I'll scan back to the beginning of the footage.
Watch closely.
Okay? It's that Lumely guy from the gas station.
It gets better.
What the hell? This is the footage from the gas 'n' go.
Okay.
We got Lumely, we got Johnny.
Right.
Right there.
He's got a gun.
Which explains why Johnny's part of a two-Man crime spree.
I knew there was something wrong with that Lumely guy.
I want an apb out on both of them.
Find out what you can about Lumely, all right? I'm on it.
Lumely! Lumely! Listen It's time to come clean.
All right? No more games.
You took me out of my house at gunpoint, you forced me to steal two cars, I robbed a house, and was almost beaten to death by two postal service employees.
So, what the hell's really going on here? I told you.
I owe money.
Look, that's not the point, and you know it.
You've been dragging me around town like this is some kind of one-man farewell tour.
Why? It was my fail-safe plan.
"Fail-Safe"? What the hell does that mean, "fail-safe plan"? If I couldn't get the money I owed, I had to figure out some kind of way to make sure my family was taken care of.
- So? - So - I hired a guy to kill me.
- You did what? It's the only way I could make sure they'd collect the life insurance money.
You are certifiable.
It's a million dollars, payable at the time of my death.
Lumely, do you really, seriously think that Marsha and Emily want the money bad enough to see you dead? You should've seen their faces when they first saw that big house.
Will you shut up with the big house? Now, this guy that you hired when was he supposed to finish the job? Uh, after midnight.
He was supposed to call, and if I had the money, the deal was going to be canceled.
Do you have his number, Lumely? Do you have the number? Will you get off me? Don't start crying.
I can't take it if you're going to cry.
Come on.
Such an idiot! I'm an idiot! Idiot! Idiot! Idiot! I just wanted to do something right for once in my life! Shh! It's not that bad.
You've got till midnight, right? So? So you said the 25 grand was for seed money.
- Yeah.
- Well, seed money for what? Gentlemen, always a pleasure.
I realize this is a bad time to ask, but you do know how to play poker, don't you? OK, play it tight for the first couple of hours.
Don't chase any flushes or inside straights.
Any questions? - What's an inside straight? - Well, you're a psychic.
You'll probably see their cards before they do.
Look, I told you, it doesn't always work.
Gentlemen, let's begin.
Go get 'em, killer.
The game is No-Limit Texas Hold 'Em.
Good luck.
Five-Minute break.
Partner, I've seen some pretty tough poker beats, but I do believe you take the prize.
What the hell's going on? You're getting slaughtered.
Do you think? I don't get it.
Aren't you getting any information off the other players? - Plenty.
- And? All right.
The guy with the cowboy hat? Cheating on his wife.
The thug with the cigar in his mouth has webbed feet.
Really? I told you, my visions don't show me what I want to see, they show me just what I need to see.
Excuse me.
- I don't believe it.
- What? What did you see? - A royal flush? Four of a kind? What? - Better than that.
I saw your hit man.
- What? - Let me guess.
You've never even seen him before, right? No, everything was handled on the phone.
Why? Why? - Because he's here, that's why.
- He's here? Where? Hey, could you be more obvious? The guy at the buffet.
Mr.
Roast beef? I'm going to get whacked by a guy with a sweater tied around his neck? How could he know that you're here? Did you mention this game to anyone? No.
What do you think I am? Some kind of jerk? I might have mentioned it in passing.
I knew it.
Okay, you know what? I got myself into this mess.
I'm going to just have to face it like a man.
Wait a second.
- Maybe this is a good thing.
- A good thing? Well, now that you know where he is, tou can just walk over there and tell him - you changed your mind.
- No.
Just walk over there, and you tell him.
We don't have enough money.
What the hell does that have to do with anything? It was part of the deal.
See, if I decided to cancel the contract, I had to pay back double.
Now, that's 10 grand times two.
Best I can tell, you've got about 3,000 in chips.
- Why would you do that? - I was afraid I might chicken out.
I figured with you playing for me, I could pay back the hit man and the loan shark.
John I guess now you've got to win or I'm really dead.
Gentlemen, we're back.
Lumely, you better hope that I lose, because if this guy doesn't kill you, I'm gonna.
It's on you, sir.
I'm all in.
Well, considering your current losing streak I'm gonna have to call.
The all-in bet has been called.
Cards, please.
Three kings.
Yes.
That's a damn good hand.
But not good enough.
Three aces.
Not your night, sir.
Deal me out.
Three aces? What are the chances? Get ready to go.
Just get ready to go.
Uh, excuse me.
Fellas I've got a question for you.
What the hell is this? Look at this.
Cameras, huh? All these are cameras.
What the hell's going on here? This game is rigged! - Act sick, okay? - Act sick? - You want to get out of here alive? - Yeah.
Start acting like you're gonna die.
Oh! I'm sick! I think I'm gonna die! What's wrong with him? He's lactose intolerant, sir.
I think it was the cheese- Oh, I shouldn't have eaten the cheese! I'm not supposed to open that door.
- I think I'm gonna hurl! - He might hurl, actually.
Listen, the guy with the sweater has a gun.
- Which way? - To the car! Wait, wait, wait! No, no, no.
Hey.
No.
They'll find us there.
This way.
Hey, you slap me one more time, I'm gonna knock you Right behind you.
Go, go! Keep going.
Come on.
Do you see him? No.
Maybe we lost him.
Hey.
Do you hear that? Yeah.
That's Emily.
That's my daughter.
That was quite a show you two put on.
Too bad you got involved, mister, but I can't leave a witness.
Wait! Wait a minute! You don't have to do this.
I changed my mind.
You got the rest of the money? Uh, the money? No.
Then we got nothing to talk about.
Get on your knees.
Come on, you heard what he said.
He doesn't want to die.
We have a contract.
Besides, I have a professional reputation to protect.
I go around breaking deals, I'm out of business.
Now, get on your knees.
Just my luck.
You hire a cold-blooded killer with ethics.
I'm sorry, John.
You don't deserve this.
You're right.
I don't.
Wait a minute.
Your luck's about to change.
This is the sheriff! Put your hands on your head and drop the weapon.
It's all right.
- You guys okay? - Yeah, we are now.
have been a different story.
- How did you know where we'd be? - Well, after I I.
D.
'ed Mr.
Lumely from the gas station video surveillance tape, I contacted his wife.
She said if there was any chance of finding the guy, he'd be at his daughter's recital, which is going on right across the street, so we staked it out and hoped for the best.
You two had a pretty tough night, huh? - Oh, you have no idea.
- Well, I got some idea.
And you you've got some explaining to do.
Yeah.
Uh, sheriff, I know I'm in a lot of trouble, but if I could just have one minute You heard him.
60 seconds, big guy.
I appreciate it.
Why are you wearing those handcuffs? Well, uh, your daddy made a big mistake, and I did something very, very stupid, but everything's okay now.
Come on, princess, let's see if you can help grandpa find his car.
You go.
Thanks, pop.
You're still my son.
Nothing's ever gonna change that.
- I guess you won't be joining us for pie.
- Not tonight.
Listen I just want you to know how sorry I am for being such a horse's ass.
You still don't get it, do you? You were a horse's ass when I married you.
It's this other person I couldn't live with.
You know, I still remember that beautiful young girl on a roller coaster.
Yeah? I wonder whatever happened to her.
I heard she married a frog.
They lived happily ever after.
Time's up, pal.
Psst.
Hey.
Johnny.
Stick 'em up! - Put 'em up.
- Lumely What the hell are you doing? How are you? I'm good.
I mean, I'm getting there, anyway.
Hey, I was just in your neighborhood, and thought I'd drop off your mail.
- You're back in uniform.
- Yeah.
- Nice socks.
- Thanks.
You know, it's all thanks to you.
Those things you said in court, they went a long way with the judge.
He let me off with probation, even let me have my old job back, with a slight pay cut.
- What about the loan shark? - Oh.
Well, after all the attention I was getting, it seemed in his best interest to keep a low profile.
We even worked out a payment plan.
Yeah.
like a plan.
Well, best of all, I'm back home with my family.
I hate to think what I might have lost, you know? - I'm happy it all worked out for you.
- Thanks.
Well, anyway, I'd better get going.
Schedules.
You know, rain, sleet, snow, hail Whatever.
I just want to say thanks, John, - for everything.
- Oh, you got it.
- All right, Lumely.
- Okay.
Oh, uh, John, I'm planning a little poker game over at my place next week.
You know, some of the boys from office.
I was wondering maybe you want to play, huh? No.
Thanks! Oh, come on, John.
Don't be that way.
It's a friendly little game.
Hey, we'll even let you use your super powers! John?
Everything has changed Including me.
One touch, and I can see things, Things that happened, things that will happen.
You should see what I see.
Hello? Oh, you're home.
- Yeah, I just got back.
- Oh.
How was boston? Oh, it was great.
Can't say the same about my flight back, though.
You'd think a guy with psychic vision Would know better than to sit between a screaming baby And a guy with chronic air-Sickness, But, uh Well, I guess you're human after all.
Listen, Walt's going to fire up the grill and rent a few movies.
- You interested? - Oh, no, thanks.
All I want is a hot shower and a soft pillow.
I'll take a rain check, okay? Okay.
Bye.
Whoa.
Mr.
Popularity.
Back in your house! Now! - Anybody else here? - No.
Listen, take whatever you want, okay? I don't keep much cash in the house.
You can have my watch.
Why would I want your watch? You don't remember me, do you? Should I? Hi, operator.
Yes, please.
I'm looking for a number.
It's a chinese restaurant here in bangor Hey, how's it hanging, old friend? You know what I was thinking? What you need in here is one of those fancy espresso machines.
You know, espresso? It's like the steamed milk, the little tiny cups? No, you still don't speak american, do you? It's all right.
You know, there's plenty of room for- Yeah, that's it.
Uh-Huh.
Thank you.
Okay.
You take her easy.
Thank you, operator.
Hey.
- You're that psychic guy.
- Sorry? Tommy Smith.
- Johnny.
- I knew it! I never forget a face! That's my gift.
Uh, Boyd Lumely.
Nice to meet you.
Not you, operator.
Hey, what do you think about helping a brother out? Excuse me? Hit me with the lotto digits.
Come on.
I don't know about you, but I sure as hell could use a million bucks.
Listen, buddy, that's not how the gift works, So, uh Sorry about that.
No kidding, huh? Yes, operator.
Great.
Seems like your gift worked well enough to get your name on tv or in some fancy magazine, But I'm nobody, huh? Just some crummy civil servant, something a big shot like you might scrape off his shoe.
- Listen- - I know your type.
I've been getting kicked in the teeth by guys like you my whole life.
Look, I've got to go.
Good luck to you, all right? Hey, come on, John.
Why don't you spare some of that mojo juice for us little people, huh? Come on, even us losers deserve a break once in a while.
Good luck.
Jerk.
I'm in.
Everything 20/20 now? Look, those numbers weren't for the lotto.
It was a phone number for a thal restaurant.
I just wanted some takeout, that's all.
Yeah? Well, the point is, I played, and I won.
A million bucks.
Why do I get the feeling you're not here to thank me? Oh, I'll thank you, all right.
I'll thank you after you get me back everything I lost.
After you get me back my life.
Sweet wheels, huh? This baby's got digital-Response shock absorbers, Top-Of-The-Line stereo, real-Time GPS, And get this- She speaks italian.
- You speak italian? - That's not the point, John.
The point is it's the best car money can buy.
Top-Shelf all the way.
Listen, you've got to believe me.
I did not pick the winning numbers, and I won't be able to do it again, all right? - I don't expect you to.
- You don't? You know how many questions there'd be If the same guy was to win the lotto twice? I got a better idea.
What's that? To make another million dollars? Well, actually, more like See, after I blew the lotto money, I had to keep the ship afloat, so I went out on the street.
Oh, so you borrowed money from a loan shark.
Not "a" shark.
The great white monster himself.
- Who? - Names aren't important.
Time is.
He's given me until midnight tonight to come up with the balance, or he's going to disconnect my head from my spinal cord.
All we need is a quick 25 grand to get the ball rolling.
- And how do you plan to get it? - In time, John.
Everything in time.
We're sorry.
It is not necessary to dial a "1"- Hey, give me that.
Give me that! Now, I want you to listen to me.
I got nothing to lose by blowing your head off.
You understand? Yeah.
Avvertimento.
Il livello di vostra benzina e'basso.
"Benzini e'botto"? - What's- What's that? - We're out of gas.
Out of - You speak italian? All right, pull over over here.
Don't try anything crazy.
You got the keys? So? Did I lie? Or is it everything we ever dreamed about? It's so big.
Yeah, and it's all for you and Em.
You know, if you want to put down another 10,000, I can cut those finance payments for you.
Hey, do I look like the kind of man who can't pay his debts? They can take their lousy pension plan and they can stick it where the sun don't shine.
Whoa.
What are you doing? I quit.
- Where have you been? - I was out.
- At 3:00 in the morning? - Well, I was with my friends.
Yeah, you mean the leeches.
That man called from the bank again today about the mortgage payments.
I told you we shouldn't have borrowed so much.
Don't worry about it.
I'll take care of it tomorrow.
You're drunk.
You're always drunk.
Your family? Yeah.
So how do they feel about all this? Never mind how they feel.
You don't worry how they feel.
I want you to take your clothes off.
- Do what? - You heard me.
You can wave that gun around all you want at me.
There's a couple of things I'm ready to die for.
You got me? That's not what I meant.
What the hell do you think I am? Sorry about the standard black, but they only had one white-On-White left in the store.
Yeah, I'll try to get over that, okay? All right.
We've got to go meet a guy over at the country club.
I hope you don't mind walking, Lumely.
What do you mean, walking? Where's my- Hey! Hey, where are you going? That's my car! Why me? Could this day get any worse? I had to open my big mouth.
All right, play it straight and nobody gets hurt.
You understand? What's up, John? - Walt.
What a surprise.
- Yeah, back at you.
Sarah said you just got back from boston.
That's right.
And she said you'd take a shower and crash.
That was the plan, yeah.
What's with the monkey suit? Oh! Uh I'm afraid that's my fault, officer.
Who are you? He's an old friend of mine From high school.
This is boyd Lumely.
High school, huh? Oh, so you must know my wife, - Sarah Bannerman.
- Sarah Bannerman? It used to be bracknell.
Sarah bracknell.
Oh, yeah, sure.
Great gal.
Quite a looker, as I recall.
You guys stay out of trouble, okay? We will.
What the hell was that, huh? You told the guy my name.
I was just making conversation, okay? If there's a rule book on all this stuff, I'll be glad to read it for you.
You'd better just pray that cop doesn't come back.
So how are we going to get out of here, genius? Well, I guess it shouldn't surprise me that you know how to hotwire a car, huh? Your wife and daughter must be very proud of you.
That's what this is all about, isn't it? You wouldn't understand.
Oh, yeah? Try me.
After I hit the jackpot, I kind of lost control, all right? Gambling, bad investments, too many bills Next thing you know, I'm sleeping in the back seat of my car, or at least what used to be my car.
I guess I wasn't so sexy with empty pockets, because one day, I come home, they're gone.
- Did you try to talk to her? - Yeah, I tried, I tried to talk to her, but she wasn't Look, all you need to worry about is how you're going to get me that money.
That's it.
Now, drive.
- I ran into Johnny while I was out.
- At the video store? No, at the gas station, and check this out- He was wearing a tuxedo.
What? He was with some guy from high school.
Lumely? Boyd Lumely? Said he knew you.
Said you were "quite a looker.
" - Lumely - Yeah.
It doesn't ring a bell.
No? Marsha and Emily used to love this place.
You know what it costs to be a member here? - No.
How much? - Well, put it this way- If you have to ask, you ain't getting in.
So Here's to the future.
May you be alive to see me prosper.
It's not too late to do the right thing.
This thing can go really, really bad.
There he is.
- Who? - Him.
- He holds the key.
- What key? Exactly.
Move.
Hey! How's it hanging, bobby-Boy? Lumely.
I heard your membership had been revoked.
Uh, no, it's actually suspended and currently under appeal, thank you very much.
John, I'd like you to meet Maine's wealthiest cpa, Robert Westerfield.
Hello.
Nice to meet you, sir.
Nobody keeps that kind of money in their house.
Oh, I do.
Show me.
- Oh - Yeah.
Okay, but You cannot tell anyone, not even your priest.
- I don't go to church.
- Oh, you don't say.
How's that for creative bookkeeping? Come here.
Mm oh Mm? If you'll excuse me, I, uh I see a client.
Greedy bastard.
Well? What? What? Come on, I saw that look on your face.
If you think I'm going to steal that guy's money, you're crazier than you look.
You call yourself a psychic, huh? I wasn't the one who tripped up the alarm.
You could've warned me.
Come on, let's go.
I can't believe this.
I just committed armed burglary.
Relax.
I was the one with the gun.
Ah! Holy mother of mercy! There must be 30 Gs here! Congratulations.
Now you can drop me off at my house.
No one's going anywhere.
- This is just seed money.
- Seed money? Yeah.
I told you how much I owe.
What good's a lousy 30 grand? - It's time for phase two.
- I'm afraid to ask.
Okay, first, we've got to get back into our regular clothes, and then I've got a little errand to run.
This is great.
Now I can add peeping tom to my rap sheet.
Move.
It's pathetic, a grown man sneaking around in the dark.
Yeah, yeah, whatever.
Wait.
Listen.
That's my sweetie.
It breaks my heart to see her have to play that crummy old piano.
You know, at the big house, we had a brand new baby grand.
The sound would rip your heart out.
All right, just shut up.
- Let me do all the talking.
- Like I have a choice.
Boyd? Is that you? Uh What's going on? What are you doing sneaking around in the dark? - That's what I said.
- Who the hell are you? Just forget it, all right? We were just leaving.
You don't want to see Emily? This is my last report card.
Oh, em This is great.
Man, you must take after your mother, Because I sure never got grades like this.
- That's not true.
- Yeah? After the baby was born, Boyd got this idea he wanted to get into radio.
Said he was going to be the next howard stern, god forbid.
Is that right? He enrolled in night class at community college.
Three semesters, got all "a"s and "b"s.
How come you didn't finish? - Uh, I don't remember.
- I'll tell you why.
Same reason he never finished anything- He lost interest.
That's not true.
I just changed my mind, is all.
It's a free country, right? So how do you two know each other? - Actually- - John's a business associate.
Business? Yeah, that's a good one.
As a matter of fact, we're in the middle of a very big deal as we speak.
Are you coming to my recital tonight? It's a special midnight show at the park.
Um Actually, honey, I'm sorry, but I'm not going to be able to make it.
It's just I got to take care of something very, very important.
Oh God, for crying out loud.
It's at midnight.
Here, emily.
Go get some rest.
Grandpa's picking us up later.
Okay.
Bye, dad.
Hey, wait a minute.
Don't I get a hug? Okay.
Goodbye, baby.
You knock 'em dead, okay? Oh I love you so much.
You always remember that, All right? You remember how much your daddy loved you.
Okay, go on now.
I'll be up there in a minute.
- I'll be outside.
- Sit.
What's with the silver? - Tips.
- Tips? Don't tell me you went back to that waffle shack.
- I have bills to pay.
- I sent you money.
I like to work.
The wife of a millionaire shouldn't be slinging pancakes! You're not a millionaire, Boyd.
You're a mailman with a mental condition.
You'll change your tune after tonight.
Oh, yeah? Let's go.
Come on.
So why couldn't you just ask to borrow her car? I don't get why we had to steal it.
You saw the look in that woman's eyes.
She wouldn't spit on me if I was on fire.
Besides, the police will be looking for the cab by now.
You've got a nice family.
A little high-Strung, but nice.
Look out! - Start the car.
Come on.
- I'm trying.
Oh boy.
- Come on, start it! - I'm trying! Out of the car, Lumely! Get out, or we'll drag you out! Have it your way.
Oh, no.
Come on.
Quit fooling around.
The engine won't start.
I think it's flooded.
Hey! All right! That's enough! What are you doing? What's the matter with you guys? I told you to wave the bats, look scary.
Wave and look.
I didn't say anything about smashing up the car.
- Sorry, chief.
- Sorry.
Look at this.
Look at this hood.
Look at this.
Who's going to pay for that? You know what it costs to fix that? What's the matter with you? It was teddy's idea.
Me? You're the one who went crazy.
Hold on a second.
Who are you guys? This is Lenny Bitmore And Teddy Carmichael.
I used to work with them down at the post office.
Why are they smashing up your wife's car? Because I paid them a hundred bucks each to make it look like I was in danger, in case you didn't believe me.
Hey, get the hell out of here, okay? Game over.
Show's over.
Go.
Okay? - Sorry again about the Volvo.
- Go.
Way to go.
You're an idiot.
Yeah, well you're- You told me this would be fun! Get in and drive.
I don't know.
I just Oh It's getting late.
Okay, we'd better get going, too, huh? "Going"? Look, I'm not going anywhere.
Check that.
I'm actually going to go home, and then I'm going to call the police.
All right? Hey.
What are you going to do? Shoot me? Is that how it's going? Shoot me.
Let me tell you something - At this point, a bullet in the head would be a huge relief.
What do you think I am? A cold-Blooded killer? I'm a charles manson? I'm a mailman, for christ's sake.
Hey, you want me to say sorry? I'm sorry.
I was never going to hurt anybody, especially not you.
- Oh, my god.
- What, you want me to beg? You want me to beg? I'm begging.
I'm on my knees.
I'm on my knees.
Get up, will you? If you won't promise to help me, then shoot me Because if you leave me here, I'm a dead man.
Lumely If you lie to me one more time, you're on your own.
Okay? Oh That is great.
Thanks.
Thanks a lot, J.
That's really great.
I really appreciate it.
I knew you wouldn't leave me here to die.
Yeah, how can you be so sure? - It's because - Don't touch.
You know, because, like, you're the hero, and the hero never leaves the sidekick behind.
No, you are not my sidekick, all right? Okay.
I could be.
Okay, we just- We've got to make one more stop along the way, okay? - It's very important.
- Yeah, I'm sure it is, Lumely.
Bannerman.
Hey, what's up, Roscoe? Have you seen the surveillance tape? All right, I'll meet you over at the station as soon as I can.
- Trouble? - I don't know.
I'll call you later.
Oh, now it's all clear to me.
You're going to win a million dollars playing bingo.
Very funny.
Hey, pop.
Not even going to say hello, huh? Hello.
Hey, uh, pop, this is John.
He's a friend of mine.
Friend, huh? I hope you didn't lend him any money.
I wish it had been that easy.
So how come you're working so late? A man doesn't quit till the work's done.
I tried to teach you that.
Yeah, but a man with money shouldn't have to work at all.
I mean, who wants to be a sucker, right? I've been working hard all my life, two jobs, sometimes three, just to keep food on the table.
- That make me a sucker? - No, that's not what I meant.
It's just I got plans.
I got big plans.
You got a wife and a daughter.
There's nothing bigger than that.
Hey, uh I got something for you.
This is $4,000.
Take some time off.
You know, enjoy yourself for a change.
I don't want any time off And I don't want your money.
Okay, well, put it in the poor box, Or burn it.
I don't care.
So long, pop.
Let's go.
Okay, I'll scan back to the beginning of the footage.
Watch closely.
Okay? It's that Lumely guy from the gas station.
It gets better.
What the hell? This is the footage from the gas 'n' go.
Okay.
We got Lumely, we got Johnny.
Right.
Right there.
He's got a gun.
Which explains why Johnny's part of a two-Man crime spree.
I knew there was something wrong with that Lumely guy.
I want an apb out on both of them.
Find out what you can about Lumely, all right? I'm on it.
Lumely! Lumely! Listen It's time to come clean.
All right? No more games.
You took me out of my house at gunpoint, you forced me to steal two cars, I robbed a house, and was almost beaten to death by two postal service employees.
So, what the hell's really going on here? I told you.
I owe money.
Look, that's not the point, and you know it.
You've been dragging me around town like this is some kind of one-man farewell tour.
Why? It was my fail-safe plan.
"Fail-Safe"? What the hell does that mean, "fail-safe plan"? If I couldn't get the money I owed, I had to figure out some kind of way to make sure my family was taken care of.
- So? - So - I hired a guy to kill me.
- You did what? It's the only way I could make sure they'd collect the life insurance money.
You are certifiable.
It's a million dollars, payable at the time of my death.
Lumely, do you really, seriously think that Marsha and Emily want the money bad enough to see you dead? You should've seen their faces when they first saw that big house.
Will you shut up with the big house? Now, this guy that you hired when was he supposed to finish the job? Uh, after midnight.
He was supposed to call, and if I had the money, the deal was going to be canceled.
Do you have his number, Lumely? Do you have the number? Will you get off me? Don't start crying.
I can't take it if you're going to cry.
Come on.
Such an idiot! I'm an idiot! Idiot! Idiot! Idiot! I just wanted to do something right for once in my life! Shh! It's not that bad.
You've got till midnight, right? So? So you said the 25 grand was for seed money.
- Yeah.
- Well, seed money for what? Gentlemen, always a pleasure.
I realize this is a bad time to ask, but you do know how to play poker, don't you? OK, play it tight for the first couple of hours.
Don't chase any flushes or inside straights.
Any questions? - What's an inside straight? - Well, you're a psychic.
You'll probably see their cards before they do.
Look, I told you, it doesn't always work.
Gentlemen, let's begin.
Go get 'em, killer.
The game is No-Limit Texas Hold 'Em.
Good luck.
Five-Minute break.
Partner, I've seen some pretty tough poker beats, but I do believe you take the prize.
What the hell's going on? You're getting slaughtered.
Do you think? I don't get it.
Aren't you getting any information off the other players? - Plenty.
- And? All right.
The guy with the cowboy hat? Cheating on his wife.
The thug with the cigar in his mouth has webbed feet.
Really? I told you, my visions don't show me what I want to see, they show me just what I need to see.
Excuse me.
- I don't believe it.
- What? What did you see? - A royal flush? Four of a kind? What? - Better than that.
I saw your hit man.
- What? - Let me guess.
You've never even seen him before, right? No, everything was handled on the phone.
Why? Why? - Because he's here, that's why.
- He's here? Where? Hey, could you be more obvious? The guy at the buffet.
Mr.
Roast beef? I'm going to get whacked by a guy with a sweater tied around his neck? How could he know that you're here? Did you mention this game to anyone? No.
What do you think I am? Some kind of jerk? I might have mentioned it in passing.
I knew it.
Okay, you know what? I got myself into this mess.
I'm going to just have to face it like a man.
Wait a second.
- Maybe this is a good thing.
- A good thing? Well, now that you know where he is, tou can just walk over there and tell him - you changed your mind.
- No.
Just walk over there, and you tell him.
We don't have enough money.
What the hell does that have to do with anything? It was part of the deal.
See, if I decided to cancel the contract, I had to pay back double.
Now, that's 10 grand times two.
Best I can tell, you've got about 3,000 in chips.
- Why would you do that? - I was afraid I might chicken out.
I figured with you playing for me, I could pay back the hit man and the loan shark.
John I guess now you've got to win or I'm really dead.
Gentlemen, we're back.
Lumely, you better hope that I lose, because if this guy doesn't kill you, I'm gonna.
It's on you, sir.
I'm all in.
Well, considering your current losing streak I'm gonna have to call.
The all-in bet has been called.
Cards, please.
Three kings.
Yes.
That's a damn good hand.
But not good enough.
Three aces.
Not your night, sir.
Deal me out.
Three aces? What are the chances? Get ready to go.
Just get ready to go.
Uh, excuse me.
Fellas I've got a question for you.
What the hell is this? Look at this.
Cameras, huh? All these are cameras.
What the hell's going on here? This game is rigged! - Act sick, okay? - Act sick? - You want to get out of here alive? - Yeah.
Start acting like you're gonna die.
Oh! I'm sick! I think I'm gonna die! What's wrong with him? He's lactose intolerant, sir.
I think it was the cheese- Oh, I shouldn't have eaten the cheese! I'm not supposed to open that door.
- I think I'm gonna hurl! - He might hurl, actually.
Listen, the guy with the sweater has a gun.
- Which way? - To the car! Wait, wait, wait! No, no, no.
Hey.
No.
They'll find us there.
This way.
Hey, you slap me one more time, I'm gonna knock you Right behind you.
Go, go! Keep going.
Come on.
Do you see him? No.
Maybe we lost him.
Hey.
Do you hear that? Yeah.
That's Emily.
That's my daughter.
That was quite a show you two put on.
Too bad you got involved, mister, but I can't leave a witness.
Wait! Wait a minute! You don't have to do this.
I changed my mind.
You got the rest of the money? Uh, the money? No.
Then we got nothing to talk about.
Get on your knees.
Come on, you heard what he said.
He doesn't want to die.
We have a contract.
Besides, I have a professional reputation to protect.
I go around breaking deals, I'm out of business.
Now, get on your knees.
Just my luck.
You hire a cold-blooded killer with ethics.
I'm sorry, John.
You don't deserve this.
You're right.
I don't.
Wait a minute.
Your luck's about to change.
This is the sheriff! Put your hands on your head and drop the weapon.
It's all right.
- You guys okay? - Yeah, we are now.
have been a different story.
- How did you know where we'd be? - Well, after I I.
D.
'ed Mr.
Lumely from the gas station video surveillance tape, I contacted his wife.
She said if there was any chance of finding the guy, he'd be at his daughter's recital, which is going on right across the street, so we staked it out and hoped for the best.
You two had a pretty tough night, huh? - Oh, you have no idea.
- Well, I got some idea.
And you you've got some explaining to do.
Yeah.
Uh, sheriff, I know I'm in a lot of trouble, but if I could just have one minute You heard him.
60 seconds, big guy.
I appreciate it.
Why are you wearing those handcuffs? Well, uh, your daddy made a big mistake, and I did something very, very stupid, but everything's okay now.
Come on, princess, let's see if you can help grandpa find his car.
You go.
Thanks, pop.
You're still my son.
Nothing's ever gonna change that.
- I guess you won't be joining us for pie.
- Not tonight.
Listen I just want you to know how sorry I am for being such a horse's ass.
You still don't get it, do you? You were a horse's ass when I married you.
It's this other person I couldn't live with.
You know, I still remember that beautiful young girl on a roller coaster.
Yeah? I wonder whatever happened to her.
I heard she married a frog.
They lived happily ever after.
Time's up, pal.
Psst.
Hey.
Johnny.
Stick 'em up! - Put 'em up.
- Lumely What the hell are you doing? How are you? I'm good.
I mean, I'm getting there, anyway.
Hey, I was just in your neighborhood, and thought I'd drop off your mail.
- You're back in uniform.
- Yeah.
- Nice socks.
- Thanks.
You know, it's all thanks to you.
Those things you said in court, they went a long way with the judge.
He let me off with probation, even let me have my old job back, with a slight pay cut.
- What about the loan shark? - Oh.
Well, after all the attention I was getting, it seemed in his best interest to keep a low profile.
We even worked out a payment plan.
Yeah.
like a plan.
Well, best of all, I'm back home with my family.
I hate to think what I might have lost, you know? - I'm happy it all worked out for you.
- Thanks.
Well, anyway, I'd better get going.
Schedules.
You know, rain, sleet, snow, hail Whatever.
I just want to say thanks, John, - for everything.
- Oh, you got it.
- All right, Lumely.
- Okay.
Oh, uh, John, I'm planning a little poker game over at my place next week.
You know, some of the boys from office.
I was wondering maybe you want to play, huh? No.
Thanks! Oh, come on, John.
Don't be that way.
It's a friendly little game.
Hey, we'll even let you use your super powers! John?