The Rockford Files (1974) s05e06 Episode Script
The Empty Frame
That could be dangerous, Angel.
That's called influence peddling.
Go for the blades! Go for the motor! You want a name? I want a name! Cynthia.
Any way you spell it, it means trouble.
How much were the paintings worth? Somewhere around $2 million.
I am E.
A.
Martin.
I'm the man! Whatever you do, don't let him outta there.
You just get somebody down here.
And get him down here now, Dennis! ROCKFORD This is Jim Rockford.
At the tone, leave your name and message.
I'll get back to you.
Jim, directions to the party.
Left on Saugus, you'll see a rock.
Left, left again, right, another left, there's kind of a hill, keep going, you'll probably see a bunch of cars.
Go on, have your party.
Just like the pigs up on Gorky Street before the storming of the Winter Palace.
Sixty, 70 years go by and nothing's changed.
Champagne, caviar Pigs.
Let's get moving.
Carolyn, how you doing? I'm ready, David.
Thanks.
I left mine in the den.
Hi, how are you? Fine.
Oh, John? Oh, will you excuse me? Thanks.
Thank you for rescuing me from that broad.
What is she? Another one of Aaron's relatives? No, no.
That's Marion Heverly's mother, Phyllis.
You remember, you thought she had some very nice impressionist paintings.
And I invited her because I thought we might buy one of them.
Oh, yes.
Oh, yes.
Well, she may have very nice art, but her conversation is je ne sais quoi.
John! Oh, I must say this party, it's just but this is one of those special occasions when one wants to.
Jeff, it's lovely, just lovely.
When do you start, Aaron? Is it right away or is there some sort of swearing in? Oh, no, no, right away.
Apparently, they just toss you right into the fire.
You know, you and I really ought to talk business one of these days before you get too involved.
John, I've sent you a letter that I'm sending to the stockholders of the newspaper.
Maybe you can run through it and, if there are any changes you'd like to make Fine, fine.
I'd love to see it.
Ah, but let's not talk business now.
Let's party.
Come on, Aaron, there's somebody you have to meet.
Somebody with loads of police influence.
Hey, Chapman, I didn't know you were gonna be here.
It's quite a party, isn't it? Oh, Lieutenant Chapman, I'd like you to meet Cynthia Daskin.
She's the assistant city editor of Mr.
Kiel's paper.
Miss Daskin is not invited to the party.
Oh, then you're not a guest here either, huh? You're just here in your blue double-knit, working the door? Don't push it, Rockford.
Well, it's such a festive occasion, why don't you make it Mr.
Rockford, okay? Let's not cause any problems, okay, Jim? Let's just leave.
No, no, no, no, here.
If you'll get somebody to read this to you, it says "with guest.
" That means I can bring anyone I want.
Hey, Jimmy, you made it.
Great.
Cynthia, darling, I'm so glad you came.
Here you go, fella.
Why don't you run that into the closet? Oh, there's some friends from the paper.
I'll be right back.
All right.
You got Cynthia all right.
'Cause I was kinda afraid you'd lose the address, I had to slide it under the door.
I love playing the old matchmaker.
Nice, huh? Yeah.
Chapman acted like she was specifically not supposed to be here, Angel.
I feel a little funny being here myself.
I mean, this is not exactly my kind of party.
You're here because I wanted you here.
You're my friend.
What's Chapman doing working the door? Chapman and a couple other off-duty cops are here acting as security because there's a lot of important people.
We got four police commissioners, we got a deputy mayor, we got two deputy police chiefs.
This thing is bigger than Cher's birthday! Watch this, watch this.
Lieutenant, come over here and report.
Yeah? You want to get us a couple of mai tais, maybe a little tray of hors d'oeuvres? You pick it out, something nice.
But don't take all night getting it, all right? I'm not a waiter, buddy.
Buddy? Is that how you address the brother-in-law of Aaron Kiel, the guest of honor of the party, "buddy"? Aaron is the new police commissioner, you know what I mean? I could have you up leading first graders at a crosswalk, so I'd get the plate and I'd bring it as fast as I could like a good little flatfoot.
I'll call your waiter.
Sir! Why don't you call me "sir," Chapman? You know, Chapman, that's my brother-in-law, Aaron, over there with his wife, AKA my sister.
Aaron, I'd like you to see one of your police lieutenants in action, or should I say "inaction"? Sir.
Ain't that wonderful, Jimmy? I'd like to plow him up like that all day long.
What I'm trying to demonstrate to you is what true influence is worth.
I'm not talking small-time, I'm talking the big bag job in the sky.
Any time Chapman starts to bother you or any of your friends, you call Angel Martin.
I'll have him crated and shipped to the apple orchard indefinitely, for which I will pick up a little money or a favor.
Oh, no, that could be dangerous, Angel.
That's called influence peddling.
Peddling? I ain't a peddler.
Peddler guy stands on the street corner and eats exhaust fumes.
I got a penthouse in the Brentwood Hotel.
Half the floor, my own pool.
I'm telling you, this thing runs smoother than a Mattel truck.
You go ahead, Jimmy.
Have a good time, eat all you want to eat and make sure that Cynthia gets a chance to see Aaron.
Drop it! Shut up! All law enforcement officers, put your guns on the floor! Tell them! Do as he says.
Everybody, outside.
A young lady will pass among you to take a collection.
If we find one gun, you've all had it.
Move! Your capitalist booty is being liberated by the people! Everyone, face-down on the ground! One false move from anyone and I'll waste 50.
Now! All the men take off your pants.
Right now! Okay, little brother, do it! You are the cancers that feed on the people.
You are the swine of the earth.
Realize your errors before the people rise and crush you! We need a boat.
There's a speedboat next door.
Use that.
Lieutenant, Lieutenant, I found a shark gun.
She's loaded.
Get a light out there! I think we got them, they're slowing down.
Let them hear about it, Finta.
Watch it! Watch it! Keep firing.
What the hell? Cover me.
Go for the blades! Go for the blades! Go for the motor! Go for anything! Adios.
Enjoy Mexico! I want the names and the addresses of the three people who held up this party, and I want them now! What do you think, I set this up? Look, you just write down their names.
I'll do my best to help you with the police.
Now write down their names! Now I want a name and I want it now! You want a name? I want a name! All righty, I'm gonna give you a name.
C, that's for the community property that you'll be splitting.
Y, that's for the youngish look she has.
N, that's for the nights you spent in Newport.
T, that's for the telling of the wife.
Look, knock it off.
H, that's for the home you're gonna lose in Bel-Air.
I, is for the interest for my silence, and A, is for the alimony you're gonna be stuck with.
You want a name, Aaron? There's a name for you.
Cynthia.
Any way you spell it, it means trouble.
What do you want? You know, Aaron, our game just went into extra innings.
Time to time, I'm gonna want you to lean on somebody for me, things like that.
And if you do what you're told, I'll protect my dear sister from this scandal.
Look, Angel.
Look, this is ridiculous.
Another thing I want to clear up.
I didn't set up this rip-off, you know.
Last thing in the world I want to do is make you look bad, because that ruins my game plan.
So if Chapman comes here pointing the finger at me, I know you're gonna wanna clean my windshield.
You're gonna blackmail me? No, no, no, no.
After all the things I did for you? Aaron, when it's in the immediate family, it's not called blackmail, it's called family spirit.
How do you like it? Black, please.
Do you have a little brandy? Oh, I'm all out of brandy.
Cointreau? Cream? I'll skip it.
Thanks, anyway.
Those paintings were like children to us, Mr.
Rockford.
Mr.
Rockford, what Jeffrey really means is that we take our art collecting very seriously.
We don't buy pictures for their particular value.
We buy them because Well, they mean something to us, they make us feel things, emotions.
A good painting can do that, you know.
Yeah, that was in a friend's garage and he was going to throw them away and they were free, so Mr.
Rockford, I really don't know how to tell you this because Well, it seems so foolish now I'll tell, Juanito.
You see, Mr.
Rockford, we were so confident of our alarm system, and the fact that we were on a peninsula with only one road in and one out, that we never had our paintings insured.
You see, the way Johnny figured it was that if somebody did break in and set the alarm off, by the time they got everything loaded, the police would set up a road block and catch them trying to get off the peninsula.
You never figured a boat? Okay, there's no insurance.
How much were the paintings worth? Somewhere around $2 million.
Mr.
Rockford, what we'd like to do is to hire you to find our paintings for us.
Oh, with two deputy chiefs, a deputy mayor, two police commissioners, and half of the LA social registry stripped down to their skivvies, I feel safe in saying the police are on top of it.
The fact is, Mr.
Rockford, that Johnny and I are afraid that maybe because the police are so embarrassed by this, they may just try to bury it.
We'll pay anything.
I charge $200 a day, plus expenses, and those paintings are probably in Mexico, along with the people who stole them.
It could take quite some time to place them.
Well, this should handle the first week.
All right, I'll get in touch with the police.
In the meantime, I'd like it if both of you could make up a list of anyone who's been in the house for the last two or three months.
None of our friends would have done this to us.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
I mean, cleaning people, meter readers, workmen Anyone who's been in the house long enough to case it.
You could make a list of your friends just to see if there's a clinker in among the blue bloods.
Right! Now, come on, come on, will you send me the stationery supply bills, please, and while you're at it, would you break out the entire departmental parking blueprint? Yes, that's right, I'm reassigning parking places.
What do you want? Relax, Lieutenant.
I'm happy with my parking assignment.
Hardy-har-har.
No, I just dropped in to let you know I'm working for John St.
Clair and Jeff LeVane.
I know it's your hot potato, and I thought you ought to know I'm on it.
No.
It was my hot potato.
It's Captain Salducci's problem now.
As of 10:00 this morning, I'm frying a whole nother string of fish.
You want a box of paper clips? Call Chapman.
You want your phone fixed? Call Chapman.
Is Becker around? How the hell should I know? Jim, Jim, just a minute.
Jimmy! Jim, look Can I see you in the office for a minute? You see, what I was wondering How does it work with you and Becker? I mean You give him info, he runs plates for you? Right? What is this, Lieutenant? Well, what I was thinking is this.
You see, you don't carry any extra weight in your saddle.
I mean, you can run roughshod right through a guy's rights.
I mean, pick up whatever you can, and then you hand him to us, we Mirandize him, give him the old honest injun and we drop him in Leavenworth.
Is that how it works? Okay, so what's the story? Does Becker have the exclusive dealership in the Rockford department? That's right.
Okay.
Okay.
I'm not going to mince words with you, Jim.
You see, they're rotating me over a big fire here and it's not just because Chief Gorman is on me, or the police commission is in an uproar.
You see, I figure over the years an average honest cop is gonna run his share of departmental gauntlets.
Begging your pardon, Lieutenant, but isn't what we're talking about here a departmental lynching? Yeah, it's pretty much the same thing, isn't it, Jimbo? Well, no, not really.
You see, with a gauntlet there's a light at the end of the tunnel.
But with a lynching, there's just that old rope up there, swinging in the wind.
Whatever.
Now listen now.
Now if you were to continue with this case and you were to come up with some evidence that led to the arrest of the malefactors, I would be disposed in ways, I mean subtle but important ways, to return the favor.
Well, that'd be nice, Lieutenant, but I figure I got some juice in the department now.
Oh, oh, you figure Becker can cover for you, right? Well, I can cover better.
No, I was thinking more in terms of Angel Martin.
Angel? You think he's gonna have influence with his brother-in-law, Aaron, huh? You never know now, do you? Oh, listen.
Don't forget now, I mean, you got an important friend here, a real pal.
I mean, hell's bells, I'd even be, you know, interested in running a plate or two for you myself, you know.
Just remember, if you need something, I'm right here.
Yeah, well, if I ever need a box of paper clips, I'll look you up, Chappy.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
I was taking a shower.
How's it going? Well, it's not much of a list, Mr.
St.
Clair.
You had a TV cable installed.
Did you see the man who did it? No, no.
Jeffrey and I were in Mazatlàn when that was done.
I put it down because you said, anyone.
It's all so hopeless.
There was a police captain out here, Captain Salducci.
He's looking into that list, too.
He didn't seem very encouraging.
Anybody for a Bloody? Oh, yes, please.
Mr.
Rockford? No, it's a little early for me.
Soft drink? Grapefruit juice? Orange? How about a soda? No, I'll just skip it.
Nothing for me, thank you.
Mr.
St.
Clair, I mentioned something about cleaning people.
I don't see any on the list here.
Oh, well, we've had the same man for five years.
Robert.
He would never touch a thing.
Never! Oh, Jeffrey.
What happened to that couple that came here three months ago to clean the carpets? You remember, it was just before we went to China.
They were a strange sort of couple.
I remember, the man had long black hair.
He was very well built.
The woman Well, she was young and rather pretty, really.
A blonde.
A certain elegance.
I remember wondering why she was cleaning house.
You know, Johnny Thank you.
You might be right about them.
Do you remember a name? No.
Anything unusual? Well Yes, they did have rather a strange sort of truck.
Do you remember? Yes, we had to ask them to move it when I brought Mr.
Benz back from the garage.
Mr.
Benz? It's my little Mercedes.
Yeah, about the truck.
What was so strange about it? Well, it was really one of those old cars that nobody ever bought.
What did they call them? A Clipper? Oh, a Packard? Yes, that's right.
And it wasn't really a truck.
Somebody had cut the back off it.
You mean a conversion? Yes, it was a conversion.
Ugly beast.
It was full of carpet-cleaning things.
What was the name of the company? I don't remember.
Jeffrey, where did you get them? I got them off the bulletin board at the market.
I don't suppose that was very smart, was it, Mr.
Rockford? Look, can we get out of here now, please? You aren't ashamed to be seen with me, are you, Chapman? Look, Rockford, this is very hard for me.
I'm a cop.
A good cop.
I don't like private snoopers.
It's a long-time thing with me.
And here I am in front of the PD, talking with you, talking about the toughest case on the board.
So, look, do me a favor, will you? Put this thing in gear and Okay? Okay.
Did you get the address on that Packard? I reconsidered.
Come on, Chapman, don't deflate on me now or we're through with our little arrangement.
How can I do this? I'm a cop! I got certain responsibilities! I can't go running around ringing doorbells with some guy in a checkered coat! Then why did you agree to the meeting? Because I want to find out who this Yossi Hendel is.
What's he up to? I need the background to establish a PC, so I can bust the guy.
Come on, give me.
Nothing doing! Now you deal with me or you don't get anything.
All right, okay, okay, you got it, come on, how did you get this? Three months ago, the guy that owns that truck, and a girl, they cleaned the carpets at St.
Clair's house.
Three months ago? That's it? That's the big clue? And then they waited for these guys to come back from China to hit it? I love it.
That's great.
I find myself sneaking around in a computer room, running these plates, feeling like a Russian spy and that's the big wow? Three months ago? Carpet cleaners? Have you got the address? Agoura.
You know, once, five years ago, I almost quit the department and went into the liquor business with my brother-in-law? I almost did it, too, because I was stuck down in Parker Center as administrative assistant to the Deputy Chief.
Why did you change your mind? I got transferred to vice.
I used to love vice.
Well, Lieutenant, I think we ought to sit on it for a while.
It's no big deal.
I mean, just a bunch of carpet cleaners.
Even if they did use the house, everybody saw the helicopter take off.
Listen, the department's position is they're long gone, Mexico.
Besides, I gotta get back for roll call in an hour.
Come on, let's go on up there.
Lieutenant, there's a light on, there's a Rockford, we're playing hard ball here.
You wanna watch the ball game or do you wanna get on in it? I know what I'm doing.
Come on, let's go.
Open up, police! Yeah, well, what do I know? I'm just a guy in a checkered coat.
You got any idea what kind of trouble I'm in, all because of you? Because of me? I better get my ears fixed.
What was it you said? You wanted a dealership in the Rockford department.
Isn't that the way you put it? I think you'd better phone downtown and tell them about this place.
I'm sure there'll be some good prints around.
Oh, oh, yeah.
I can just hear Captain Salducci saying right now, "What are you doing out there with Rockford?" Now he's gonna say, "How come you didn't bring a team in there with you? "Why didn't you call in SWAT?" I'm gonna look like some kind of jerk! Hey, hey, look at this.
Do you believe these guys? They make their revolutionary speeches about capitalist booty, then they buy their magazines in the lobby of the Bel-Air Hotel.
They've got Vogue, Harper's, all kinds of foreign car manuals.
They left in a Mercedes.
I wonder where the current issue of Free Press or the newspaper for the Chinese People's Republic is, huh? Don't ask me, I'm not on this case, Rockford.
I mean, the only reason I came up here in the first place was you made it sound sort of incidental.
Hey, if I'd thought this had anything to do with the terrorists who ripped off the St.
Clair place, I would've turned it all over to Captain Salducci.
Hey, I know departmental procedure, you see, but sometimes these things are hard to differentiate.
So believe me, the only reason I came by here at all, was because it was It was on your way home? I wouldn't try it, Chapman, we're in Agoura.
I'll call it in.
Like, who should I be saying is calling? Like, who are you here to see? Like, Angel Martin, like.
Hey, hey, Jimmy! How's the boy, how's the boy? Angel, could I talk to you? Don't call me Angel anymore.
Like Bugsy Siegel, he didn't like people to call him Bugsy, unless it was behind his back, which I don't mind either, as long as it's got a certain affectionate quality to the moniker.
Yeah, am I gonna have to write all this down, or is that it? No, no.
Come on in.
Look around, Jimmy, look around.
Hey, boss, what should I do about the City Hall deal? If the Mayor calls, you don't put him through unless he's ready to talk turkey on the amusement park.
What are we asking, huh? Move a little off-ramp, make my park more accessible.
My clients are big taxpayers, topsy-turvy world.
Be a big park, generate a lot of debts! Topsy-turvy world? Pritz, you call the DA.
You tell him if he wants a satisfactory vote on the police commission crime program that he better get real tender on the Detonis prosecution.
Yeah, boss.
Come on, Jim.
I'm telling you, the pressure is killing me.
If it isn't it's 400 guys wanting favors from me, you know what I mean? They say, "Can you do this, can you talk to Jerry" Why don't you stand right there? I mean, what are you gonna say to a guy who's been canceled out by a county ordinance and he's looking for a power base? You know, there's only so much I can do.
I don't know what to say to the guy.
I mean, breaks my heart to say no, but I am in business.
Angel, is this for real? Can you believe this, Jimmy? Aaron gets appointed to the commission and the next thing you know, I'm kinda boasting about it, nothing too big, you know, a little bitty boast and then suddenly guys are coming out of the woodwork at me.
Big guys, they want me to enter in to stuff with them.
Push a button or two.
And before you know it, I'm moving stuff.
I mean big stuff, important stuff.
Freeway off-ramps? I've spent too much time with you, already.
Time is my only commodity.
Time and my ability to make things happen.
Okay, Angel, I need a favor.
Favors are my business.
I thought that the paintings that were stolen from the St.
Clair house were going to get flown right out to Mexico, but, last night, I got shot at by the guys who stole 'em.
At least, I think they're the same ones.
If they are, there's a chance that the paintings are still in the city.
So, I don't know why they'd go to all the trouble of getting a helicopter and not leave the country.
Smoke screen, maybe? Where do I fit into this and at what price? Hey, look, I said, I'm in the favor business, but if I have to do a favor for a nickel plate like you, what can I possibly get out of it? You know, you can't turn no tricks for me, Jimmy.
I'm afraid it's going to have to be cash on the old kazoosky.
I need someone to sniff the streets, to see whether anybody's tried to deal off those paintings.
Why should I do that? What kind of favor you're gonna do me back? I could promise not to knock your head off! It's not much of a favor, since it's never been screwed on straight, anyway.
Okay, we'll work something out.
You want me to sniff around, see if anybody's trying to sell any paintings.
Right.
Okay.
We'll work it out.
I thought we could.
I've been trying to find you all morning.
I've been out pounding the pavement, trying to get a line on those paintings.
Jim, I'm very, very worried about Jeff.
He's gone.
Gone, or just overdue? No, no, no.
Yesterday, after you left, Jeffrey became very upset.
Then he went to the Berkeley Club.
That's where Jeffrey goes when he wants to be by himself.
But this morning, we had a very important meeting with our accountants, and he never showed up.
He never came home.
Do you mind if I ask you a few personal questions? No, I guess not.
The money, the house, everything, who pays for that? You or Jeff? I don't see that, that It's you, isn't it? I don't think that's a deep, dark secret.
So what? Well, Jeff hired those cleaners.
Now, I think it's possible that he could have arranged for the theft of the paintings.
If he was planning on moving out, two million in paintings could be a nice place to start.
That could explain why the paintings never left the country.
I think we ought to bring the police in on it.
What kind of car does he drive? Well, he didn't drive his car last night.
He took Mr.
Benz.
Is Mr.
Benz a maroon 220S? Yes.
Burgundy.
Why? How did you know? Well, I think I know where we might find Jeff, but you're not going to like it.
Somebody's been digging here before us.
It's Jeffrey.
Rockford, you stop by in an hour or so and fill out a statement.
Everything's secured, Captain.
Okay, good.
You don't pay much attention to signs, do you, Rockford? I beg your pardon? This place was posted and you walked right in here and started digging up the ground.
Now, when we post a location, Rockford, it's for a reason.
You should've called us up, given us your suspicions and we would've come out and done the digging.
Now, what you did was technically a misdemeanor and, since I'm a stickler for technicality, I'm gonna give a lot of thought to filing it.
Well, pardon me all to hell! Hey, where's Chapman? I called this thing in to him.
Didn't you hear? He got suspended for the way he handled things last night.
Hey, where is he? I mean, he says 11:30.
I gotta get back.
He said he'd be here.
Relax! Forget your crummy job for five minutes, will ya? Oh, that's easy for you to say.
A job isn't a condition of your parole.
You got the capitalist bandit gang to thank for all your problems.
This revolution is coming.
When it does, we'll see who works in the kitchens and who doesn't! Hey, David, will you knock off that stale '60s rhetoric? You're looking at the new Jag, she wants a Kenzo wardrobe.
I'm sick and tired of hearing about the pigs up on Gorky Street and the storming of the Winter Palace.
I'm not buying a new Jag, I'm buying a paramilitary vehicle, a fast escape car to get away from the pigs.
We all sold out the day she got her first $50 haircut and you and I said we liked it.
Now, I'm sick and tired of that Berkeley dialogue! Yeah.
Me, too.
Me and my people talked Yeah, and? And the stuff is very hot.
You guys should've got it out of the country.
If you had it in Mexico or someplace like that we could talk a lot better deals.
We couldn't get it to Mexico.
We had engine trouble.
I'm just telling you, that's all, you know.
Look, we don't want none of the jewelry.
Forget that, but we'll take the paintings.
Deliver to us and we'll pick the spot.
Okay, let's get on with the figure, shall we? You're not gonna like it.
$200,000.
Half on the exchange, half later.
You saw the art.
Now, we're talking about two million, at least.
Those are originals.
You're right, sonny.
And they're so hot, they're trailing smoke, huh? You know, there's a situation that's analogous Before the long march, Mao Tse-tung found it necessary to climb into bed with certain reactionary self-interested war lords.
Now, some of them later came to embrace the revolution, some didn't.
Like you.
And those who didn't wound up with their heads on the paving stones of Tiananmen Square.
Who's he kidding? Let's shag.
We make no deals.
They're flakes.
And they're from Berkeley.
At least, one of them is.
They had this Cal-Berkeley sticker on the bumper of their car.
Angel, what the Okay, okay, you want to try murder one on Nate Detonis, you go ahead, but you look out, mister.
If that sounds like a threat, then maybe it is.
You just tell the DA to look out.
He's dealing with E.
A.
Martin and I do not fool around.
Make them sweat a little bit.
You think that's smart, threatening the DA? Jimmy, that's my town down there.
It's all mine.
All the little people, all their little jobs looking up at E.
A.
Martin saying, "Help me, E.
A.
, help me!" We were talking about a bumper sticker.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
Well, I got this friend of mine that's a fed.
"Cat Eye" Wilson.
He met with those boys of yours, all right.
Said he wouldn't trust them to float ice cream in a root beer.
One of them went around spouting revolutionary slogans.
The other guy's stocky built, black hair, wore white suits all the time.
And the third member of the group is this stoned out, major league blonde fox.
He said they had a Berkeley bumper sticker on the car.
I said that already, didn't I? What am I out here repeating myself? Angel, I got some sound advice Jimmy, I give advice now.
When you give advice, you don't take advice.
Shut the hell up! Now, you're running way too fast.
You can't threaten the DA and make deals with killers like Nate Detonis.
I can't? Damn you! Why do you say I can't? Nobody tells me what I can do! Nobody! Ain't nobody big enough to deal with me.
No law! No law, no official big enough.
I am E.
A.
Martin.
I'm the man! I'm E.
A.
Martin! I'm Stephen Davis.
Ah! Steve, what class? Berkeley '47.
Ah, you're here from Buellton, you say? Yes, that's right.
What line you in? Aluminum doors and siding.
Oh, really? Well, I'm in publishing.
Well, I'll tell you, you know, you got aluminum in the walls, they're already stronger and lighter.
And with the asbestos, you know, you got on the front and the back, now you got your fire retardant problem kicked in the head and the whole cuckoo's nest is gonna weigh 15 to Cut your construction costs in two.
Oh, really? Well, it's a good idea.
Oh, yeah, I don't know what to tell some of these guys sometimes.
You know, half of them never spent more than six seconds on any kind of engineering problem.
Yeah, I was talking to Jeff LeVane about it.
Oh, it was last week.
You know Jeff used to be in engineering.
You know Jeff? He's a member here.
Oh, well, Jeff and I go way back, sure, yeah.
You know, Jeff's kinda changed.
I used to be able to put a set of plans in front of Jeff, he could read them from any corner, you know.
That must have been a long time ago.
Jeff doesn't seem to work anymore.
Yeah, he collects art.
Oh, yeah, he's been hanging around some strange types.
Strange types? You know that guy with the black hair, that whole radical group.
There's a blonde, and the guy, the other guy that spouts all those slogans and things.
No kidding.
You know, once I did see him talking in here with that Yossi character that works downstairs.
Yossi, Yossi Yeah, I think that's the guy, yeah.
Let me tell you about this guy.
Now, we had to have a board meeting about him three months ago.
This guy, Yossi Hendel, was a Berkeley grad in the '60s.
Now that you mention it, he was one of those free speech guys at Berkeley.
But, technically, he was a member of this club, because he was a graduate.
Well, you know, I I think sometimes maybe we ought to put a few restrictions on the club memberships.
I think it's nice that you're required to wear a tie.
Some of the simple things, you know.
Probably wouldn't hurt to set a few income levels, too.
Steve, doesn't that sort of defeat the purpose of an alumni club? Oh, yeah, yeah, I suppose, yeah.
Anyway, Steve, Yossi is on parole, and he came here looking for a job.
We finally gave it to him.
Now, it took two board votes, but what the hell, I mean, the man is a Berkeley graduate and he needed the job.
Where's he working? He's in the kitchen, washing dishes.
What time is it? It's almost 3:00.
Lieutenant Becker.
Oh, Dennis, this is Jim.
I'm at the Berkeley Club on 3rd Street, downtown.
I'm sitting on a guy named Yossi Hendel.
He's one of the characters who ripped off the St.
Clair place, so you better get somebody down here.
Looks like he's about ready to go off his shift.
Well, hold on to him.
Whatever you do, don't let him outta there.
You just get somebody down here, Dennis.
And get him down here now, Dennis! What happened? Get in.
Let's get out of here! He must have called the cops! All right! All right! Pigs! I know my rights! The Jag, man.
We could have used the Jag! I then put out a call and the suspects were quickly apprehended.
One of the suspects, Mr.
Yossi Hendel, led us to the paintings, which were recovered at 2:38 this afternoon.
They were stored in a rented garage and that's it, fellas.
An official statement will be made by Captain Salducci later this afternoon.
You really give Salducci the old kiss-up, don't you, Becker? Excuse me.
Until we hear from the captain, you guys are free to go.
Was that Chapman I heard out there, bleating? It sure was.
I thought he was suspended.
He is, but it was a political maneuver to take the heat off.
They fed him to the press, so to speak.
But now that we've got it solved, they'll let him out of the closet again.
And when he hits the streets, watch out.
Oh, hey, Jim, thanks a lot.
It was a real good bust for me.
Any time, pal.
Well, I'd better get over to the mortuary to make the final arrangements for Jeffrey's funeral.
You're paying for the funeral even though he tried to steal your paintings? I don't know why he did what he did.
I probably will never understand that.
But for 15 years he was my devoted friend.
I can't forget that, and I won't.
I expect you deserve a bonus.
A reward.
I'll send you a check, with my thanks.
Well, thank you.
Lieutenant.
A reward? How much do you think you'll get? Oh, not much, Dennis.
Probably no more than a couple hundred thousand.
Hey, you can't come in here like that.
Hold it! Look at this department! There's paper everywhere.
Now let's keep this squad room Hey, hey! You wanna take a walk, Martin! E.
A.
or Mister! Shall we remember that, Lieutenant? What is this? Is this somebody's lunch? Let's keep it off the desk.
All right, hold it, hold it, Mr.
Martin.
I know you got a lot of influence around here, but damn it, we're running an active department! You know, being a good cop means more than parading around in blue pants.
You know what I mean? Being a good cop means learning how to keep your desk neat! This came in two hours ago, but with all the excitement I forgot all about it.
Oh, boy.
Influence? I assume you're referring to my dear brother-in-law, Aaron Kiel.
Well, as long as you bring up Aaron's name, what do you think he's gonna think of this pigpen? Hey, Jimmy, do you see what goes on around here? Come on, people, let's file these papers! It's not so hard! Next time I come back here I wanna see everything clean, clean, clean, everywhere I look.
Well, maybe you want to take this with you.
What's this? Oh, I'm sure you're familiar with those, E.
A.
You've seen over a hundred of them.
It's a warrant for your arrest! My arrest? This is my town, Chapman.
Maybe you forgot about Aaron.
No, I haven't, but apparently the DA isn't too worried.
He wants you for coercion of a District Attorney, trial tampering, verbal assault Three months in a county is probably the absolute minimum.
So, as long as we're cleaning up this squad room, let's start by unloading the biggest piece of garbage of all.
Billings? Yes, sir? Bust him! Jimmy!
That's called influence peddling.
Go for the blades! Go for the motor! You want a name? I want a name! Cynthia.
Any way you spell it, it means trouble.
How much were the paintings worth? Somewhere around $2 million.
I am E.
A.
Martin.
I'm the man! Whatever you do, don't let him outta there.
You just get somebody down here.
And get him down here now, Dennis! ROCKFORD This is Jim Rockford.
At the tone, leave your name and message.
I'll get back to you.
Jim, directions to the party.
Left on Saugus, you'll see a rock.
Left, left again, right, another left, there's kind of a hill, keep going, you'll probably see a bunch of cars.
Go on, have your party.
Just like the pigs up on Gorky Street before the storming of the Winter Palace.
Sixty, 70 years go by and nothing's changed.
Champagne, caviar Pigs.
Let's get moving.
Carolyn, how you doing? I'm ready, David.
Thanks.
I left mine in the den.
Hi, how are you? Fine.
Oh, John? Oh, will you excuse me? Thanks.
Thank you for rescuing me from that broad.
What is she? Another one of Aaron's relatives? No, no.
That's Marion Heverly's mother, Phyllis.
You remember, you thought she had some very nice impressionist paintings.
And I invited her because I thought we might buy one of them.
Oh, yes.
Oh, yes.
Well, she may have very nice art, but her conversation is je ne sais quoi.
John! Oh, I must say this party, it's just but this is one of those special occasions when one wants to.
Jeff, it's lovely, just lovely.
When do you start, Aaron? Is it right away or is there some sort of swearing in? Oh, no, no, right away.
Apparently, they just toss you right into the fire.
You know, you and I really ought to talk business one of these days before you get too involved.
John, I've sent you a letter that I'm sending to the stockholders of the newspaper.
Maybe you can run through it and, if there are any changes you'd like to make Fine, fine.
I'd love to see it.
Ah, but let's not talk business now.
Let's party.
Come on, Aaron, there's somebody you have to meet.
Somebody with loads of police influence.
Hey, Chapman, I didn't know you were gonna be here.
It's quite a party, isn't it? Oh, Lieutenant Chapman, I'd like you to meet Cynthia Daskin.
She's the assistant city editor of Mr.
Kiel's paper.
Miss Daskin is not invited to the party.
Oh, then you're not a guest here either, huh? You're just here in your blue double-knit, working the door? Don't push it, Rockford.
Well, it's such a festive occasion, why don't you make it Mr.
Rockford, okay? Let's not cause any problems, okay, Jim? Let's just leave.
No, no, no, no, here.
If you'll get somebody to read this to you, it says "with guest.
" That means I can bring anyone I want.
Hey, Jimmy, you made it.
Great.
Cynthia, darling, I'm so glad you came.
Here you go, fella.
Why don't you run that into the closet? Oh, there's some friends from the paper.
I'll be right back.
All right.
You got Cynthia all right.
'Cause I was kinda afraid you'd lose the address, I had to slide it under the door.
I love playing the old matchmaker.
Nice, huh? Yeah.
Chapman acted like she was specifically not supposed to be here, Angel.
I feel a little funny being here myself.
I mean, this is not exactly my kind of party.
You're here because I wanted you here.
You're my friend.
What's Chapman doing working the door? Chapman and a couple other off-duty cops are here acting as security because there's a lot of important people.
We got four police commissioners, we got a deputy mayor, we got two deputy police chiefs.
This thing is bigger than Cher's birthday! Watch this, watch this.
Lieutenant, come over here and report.
Yeah? You want to get us a couple of mai tais, maybe a little tray of hors d'oeuvres? You pick it out, something nice.
But don't take all night getting it, all right? I'm not a waiter, buddy.
Buddy? Is that how you address the brother-in-law of Aaron Kiel, the guest of honor of the party, "buddy"? Aaron is the new police commissioner, you know what I mean? I could have you up leading first graders at a crosswalk, so I'd get the plate and I'd bring it as fast as I could like a good little flatfoot.
I'll call your waiter.
Sir! Why don't you call me "sir," Chapman? You know, Chapman, that's my brother-in-law, Aaron, over there with his wife, AKA my sister.
Aaron, I'd like you to see one of your police lieutenants in action, or should I say "inaction"? Sir.
Ain't that wonderful, Jimmy? I'd like to plow him up like that all day long.
What I'm trying to demonstrate to you is what true influence is worth.
I'm not talking small-time, I'm talking the big bag job in the sky.
Any time Chapman starts to bother you or any of your friends, you call Angel Martin.
I'll have him crated and shipped to the apple orchard indefinitely, for which I will pick up a little money or a favor.
Oh, no, that could be dangerous, Angel.
That's called influence peddling.
Peddling? I ain't a peddler.
Peddler guy stands on the street corner and eats exhaust fumes.
I got a penthouse in the Brentwood Hotel.
Half the floor, my own pool.
I'm telling you, this thing runs smoother than a Mattel truck.
You go ahead, Jimmy.
Have a good time, eat all you want to eat and make sure that Cynthia gets a chance to see Aaron.
Drop it! Shut up! All law enforcement officers, put your guns on the floor! Tell them! Do as he says.
Everybody, outside.
A young lady will pass among you to take a collection.
If we find one gun, you've all had it.
Move! Your capitalist booty is being liberated by the people! Everyone, face-down on the ground! One false move from anyone and I'll waste 50.
Now! All the men take off your pants.
Right now! Okay, little brother, do it! You are the cancers that feed on the people.
You are the swine of the earth.
Realize your errors before the people rise and crush you! We need a boat.
There's a speedboat next door.
Use that.
Lieutenant, Lieutenant, I found a shark gun.
She's loaded.
Get a light out there! I think we got them, they're slowing down.
Let them hear about it, Finta.
Watch it! Watch it! Keep firing.
What the hell? Cover me.
Go for the blades! Go for the blades! Go for the motor! Go for anything! Adios.
Enjoy Mexico! I want the names and the addresses of the three people who held up this party, and I want them now! What do you think, I set this up? Look, you just write down their names.
I'll do my best to help you with the police.
Now write down their names! Now I want a name and I want it now! You want a name? I want a name! All righty, I'm gonna give you a name.
C, that's for the community property that you'll be splitting.
Y, that's for the youngish look she has.
N, that's for the nights you spent in Newport.
T, that's for the telling of the wife.
Look, knock it off.
H, that's for the home you're gonna lose in Bel-Air.
I, is for the interest for my silence, and A, is for the alimony you're gonna be stuck with.
You want a name, Aaron? There's a name for you.
Cynthia.
Any way you spell it, it means trouble.
What do you want? You know, Aaron, our game just went into extra innings.
Time to time, I'm gonna want you to lean on somebody for me, things like that.
And if you do what you're told, I'll protect my dear sister from this scandal.
Look, Angel.
Look, this is ridiculous.
Another thing I want to clear up.
I didn't set up this rip-off, you know.
Last thing in the world I want to do is make you look bad, because that ruins my game plan.
So if Chapman comes here pointing the finger at me, I know you're gonna wanna clean my windshield.
You're gonna blackmail me? No, no, no, no.
After all the things I did for you? Aaron, when it's in the immediate family, it's not called blackmail, it's called family spirit.
How do you like it? Black, please.
Do you have a little brandy? Oh, I'm all out of brandy.
Cointreau? Cream? I'll skip it.
Thanks, anyway.
Those paintings were like children to us, Mr.
Rockford.
Mr.
Rockford, what Jeffrey really means is that we take our art collecting very seriously.
We don't buy pictures for their particular value.
We buy them because Well, they mean something to us, they make us feel things, emotions.
A good painting can do that, you know.
Yeah, that was in a friend's garage and he was going to throw them away and they were free, so Mr.
Rockford, I really don't know how to tell you this because Well, it seems so foolish now I'll tell, Juanito.
You see, Mr.
Rockford, we were so confident of our alarm system, and the fact that we were on a peninsula with only one road in and one out, that we never had our paintings insured.
You see, the way Johnny figured it was that if somebody did break in and set the alarm off, by the time they got everything loaded, the police would set up a road block and catch them trying to get off the peninsula.
You never figured a boat? Okay, there's no insurance.
How much were the paintings worth? Somewhere around $2 million.
Mr.
Rockford, what we'd like to do is to hire you to find our paintings for us.
Oh, with two deputy chiefs, a deputy mayor, two police commissioners, and half of the LA social registry stripped down to their skivvies, I feel safe in saying the police are on top of it.
The fact is, Mr.
Rockford, that Johnny and I are afraid that maybe because the police are so embarrassed by this, they may just try to bury it.
We'll pay anything.
I charge $200 a day, plus expenses, and those paintings are probably in Mexico, along with the people who stole them.
It could take quite some time to place them.
Well, this should handle the first week.
All right, I'll get in touch with the police.
In the meantime, I'd like it if both of you could make up a list of anyone who's been in the house for the last two or three months.
None of our friends would have done this to us.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
I mean, cleaning people, meter readers, workmen Anyone who's been in the house long enough to case it.
You could make a list of your friends just to see if there's a clinker in among the blue bloods.
Right! Now, come on, come on, will you send me the stationery supply bills, please, and while you're at it, would you break out the entire departmental parking blueprint? Yes, that's right, I'm reassigning parking places.
What do you want? Relax, Lieutenant.
I'm happy with my parking assignment.
Hardy-har-har.
No, I just dropped in to let you know I'm working for John St.
Clair and Jeff LeVane.
I know it's your hot potato, and I thought you ought to know I'm on it.
No.
It was my hot potato.
It's Captain Salducci's problem now.
As of 10:00 this morning, I'm frying a whole nother string of fish.
You want a box of paper clips? Call Chapman.
You want your phone fixed? Call Chapman.
Is Becker around? How the hell should I know? Jim, Jim, just a minute.
Jimmy! Jim, look Can I see you in the office for a minute? You see, what I was wondering How does it work with you and Becker? I mean You give him info, he runs plates for you? Right? What is this, Lieutenant? Well, what I was thinking is this.
You see, you don't carry any extra weight in your saddle.
I mean, you can run roughshod right through a guy's rights.
I mean, pick up whatever you can, and then you hand him to us, we Mirandize him, give him the old honest injun and we drop him in Leavenworth.
Is that how it works? Okay, so what's the story? Does Becker have the exclusive dealership in the Rockford department? That's right.
Okay.
Okay.
I'm not going to mince words with you, Jim.
You see, they're rotating me over a big fire here and it's not just because Chief Gorman is on me, or the police commission is in an uproar.
You see, I figure over the years an average honest cop is gonna run his share of departmental gauntlets.
Begging your pardon, Lieutenant, but isn't what we're talking about here a departmental lynching? Yeah, it's pretty much the same thing, isn't it, Jimbo? Well, no, not really.
You see, with a gauntlet there's a light at the end of the tunnel.
But with a lynching, there's just that old rope up there, swinging in the wind.
Whatever.
Now listen now.
Now if you were to continue with this case and you were to come up with some evidence that led to the arrest of the malefactors, I would be disposed in ways, I mean subtle but important ways, to return the favor.
Well, that'd be nice, Lieutenant, but I figure I got some juice in the department now.
Oh, oh, you figure Becker can cover for you, right? Well, I can cover better.
No, I was thinking more in terms of Angel Martin.
Angel? You think he's gonna have influence with his brother-in-law, Aaron, huh? You never know now, do you? Oh, listen.
Don't forget now, I mean, you got an important friend here, a real pal.
I mean, hell's bells, I'd even be, you know, interested in running a plate or two for you myself, you know.
Just remember, if you need something, I'm right here.
Yeah, well, if I ever need a box of paper clips, I'll look you up, Chappy.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
I was taking a shower.
How's it going? Well, it's not much of a list, Mr.
St.
Clair.
You had a TV cable installed.
Did you see the man who did it? No, no.
Jeffrey and I were in Mazatlàn when that was done.
I put it down because you said, anyone.
It's all so hopeless.
There was a police captain out here, Captain Salducci.
He's looking into that list, too.
He didn't seem very encouraging.
Anybody for a Bloody? Oh, yes, please.
Mr.
Rockford? No, it's a little early for me.
Soft drink? Grapefruit juice? Orange? How about a soda? No, I'll just skip it.
Nothing for me, thank you.
Mr.
St.
Clair, I mentioned something about cleaning people.
I don't see any on the list here.
Oh, well, we've had the same man for five years.
Robert.
He would never touch a thing.
Never! Oh, Jeffrey.
What happened to that couple that came here three months ago to clean the carpets? You remember, it was just before we went to China.
They were a strange sort of couple.
I remember, the man had long black hair.
He was very well built.
The woman Well, she was young and rather pretty, really.
A blonde.
A certain elegance.
I remember wondering why she was cleaning house.
You know, Johnny Thank you.
You might be right about them.
Do you remember a name? No.
Anything unusual? Well Yes, they did have rather a strange sort of truck.
Do you remember? Yes, we had to ask them to move it when I brought Mr.
Benz back from the garage.
Mr.
Benz? It's my little Mercedes.
Yeah, about the truck.
What was so strange about it? Well, it was really one of those old cars that nobody ever bought.
What did they call them? A Clipper? Oh, a Packard? Yes, that's right.
And it wasn't really a truck.
Somebody had cut the back off it.
You mean a conversion? Yes, it was a conversion.
Ugly beast.
It was full of carpet-cleaning things.
What was the name of the company? I don't remember.
Jeffrey, where did you get them? I got them off the bulletin board at the market.
I don't suppose that was very smart, was it, Mr.
Rockford? Look, can we get out of here now, please? You aren't ashamed to be seen with me, are you, Chapman? Look, Rockford, this is very hard for me.
I'm a cop.
A good cop.
I don't like private snoopers.
It's a long-time thing with me.
And here I am in front of the PD, talking with you, talking about the toughest case on the board.
So, look, do me a favor, will you? Put this thing in gear and Okay? Okay.
Did you get the address on that Packard? I reconsidered.
Come on, Chapman, don't deflate on me now or we're through with our little arrangement.
How can I do this? I'm a cop! I got certain responsibilities! I can't go running around ringing doorbells with some guy in a checkered coat! Then why did you agree to the meeting? Because I want to find out who this Yossi Hendel is.
What's he up to? I need the background to establish a PC, so I can bust the guy.
Come on, give me.
Nothing doing! Now you deal with me or you don't get anything.
All right, okay, okay, you got it, come on, how did you get this? Three months ago, the guy that owns that truck, and a girl, they cleaned the carpets at St.
Clair's house.
Three months ago? That's it? That's the big clue? And then they waited for these guys to come back from China to hit it? I love it.
That's great.
I find myself sneaking around in a computer room, running these plates, feeling like a Russian spy and that's the big wow? Three months ago? Carpet cleaners? Have you got the address? Agoura.
You know, once, five years ago, I almost quit the department and went into the liquor business with my brother-in-law? I almost did it, too, because I was stuck down in Parker Center as administrative assistant to the Deputy Chief.
Why did you change your mind? I got transferred to vice.
I used to love vice.
Well, Lieutenant, I think we ought to sit on it for a while.
It's no big deal.
I mean, just a bunch of carpet cleaners.
Even if they did use the house, everybody saw the helicopter take off.
Listen, the department's position is they're long gone, Mexico.
Besides, I gotta get back for roll call in an hour.
Come on, let's go on up there.
Lieutenant, there's a light on, there's a Rockford, we're playing hard ball here.
You wanna watch the ball game or do you wanna get on in it? I know what I'm doing.
Come on, let's go.
Open up, police! Yeah, well, what do I know? I'm just a guy in a checkered coat.
You got any idea what kind of trouble I'm in, all because of you? Because of me? I better get my ears fixed.
What was it you said? You wanted a dealership in the Rockford department.
Isn't that the way you put it? I think you'd better phone downtown and tell them about this place.
I'm sure there'll be some good prints around.
Oh, oh, yeah.
I can just hear Captain Salducci saying right now, "What are you doing out there with Rockford?" Now he's gonna say, "How come you didn't bring a team in there with you? "Why didn't you call in SWAT?" I'm gonna look like some kind of jerk! Hey, hey, look at this.
Do you believe these guys? They make their revolutionary speeches about capitalist booty, then they buy their magazines in the lobby of the Bel-Air Hotel.
They've got Vogue, Harper's, all kinds of foreign car manuals.
They left in a Mercedes.
I wonder where the current issue of Free Press or the newspaper for the Chinese People's Republic is, huh? Don't ask me, I'm not on this case, Rockford.
I mean, the only reason I came up here in the first place was you made it sound sort of incidental.
Hey, if I'd thought this had anything to do with the terrorists who ripped off the St.
Clair place, I would've turned it all over to Captain Salducci.
Hey, I know departmental procedure, you see, but sometimes these things are hard to differentiate.
So believe me, the only reason I came by here at all, was because it was It was on your way home? I wouldn't try it, Chapman, we're in Agoura.
I'll call it in.
Like, who should I be saying is calling? Like, who are you here to see? Like, Angel Martin, like.
Hey, hey, Jimmy! How's the boy, how's the boy? Angel, could I talk to you? Don't call me Angel anymore.
Like Bugsy Siegel, he didn't like people to call him Bugsy, unless it was behind his back, which I don't mind either, as long as it's got a certain affectionate quality to the moniker.
Yeah, am I gonna have to write all this down, or is that it? No, no.
Come on in.
Look around, Jimmy, look around.
Hey, boss, what should I do about the City Hall deal? If the Mayor calls, you don't put him through unless he's ready to talk turkey on the amusement park.
What are we asking, huh? Move a little off-ramp, make my park more accessible.
My clients are big taxpayers, topsy-turvy world.
Be a big park, generate a lot of debts! Topsy-turvy world? Pritz, you call the DA.
You tell him if he wants a satisfactory vote on the police commission crime program that he better get real tender on the Detonis prosecution.
Yeah, boss.
Come on, Jim.
I'm telling you, the pressure is killing me.
If it isn't it's 400 guys wanting favors from me, you know what I mean? They say, "Can you do this, can you talk to Jerry" Why don't you stand right there? I mean, what are you gonna say to a guy who's been canceled out by a county ordinance and he's looking for a power base? You know, there's only so much I can do.
I don't know what to say to the guy.
I mean, breaks my heart to say no, but I am in business.
Angel, is this for real? Can you believe this, Jimmy? Aaron gets appointed to the commission and the next thing you know, I'm kinda boasting about it, nothing too big, you know, a little bitty boast and then suddenly guys are coming out of the woodwork at me.
Big guys, they want me to enter in to stuff with them.
Push a button or two.
And before you know it, I'm moving stuff.
I mean big stuff, important stuff.
Freeway off-ramps? I've spent too much time with you, already.
Time is my only commodity.
Time and my ability to make things happen.
Okay, Angel, I need a favor.
Favors are my business.
I thought that the paintings that were stolen from the St.
Clair house were going to get flown right out to Mexico, but, last night, I got shot at by the guys who stole 'em.
At least, I think they're the same ones.
If they are, there's a chance that the paintings are still in the city.
So, I don't know why they'd go to all the trouble of getting a helicopter and not leave the country.
Smoke screen, maybe? Where do I fit into this and at what price? Hey, look, I said, I'm in the favor business, but if I have to do a favor for a nickel plate like you, what can I possibly get out of it? You know, you can't turn no tricks for me, Jimmy.
I'm afraid it's going to have to be cash on the old kazoosky.
I need someone to sniff the streets, to see whether anybody's tried to deal off those paintings.
Why should I do that? What kind of favor you're gonna do me back? I could promise not to knock your head off! It's not much of a favor, since it's never been screwed on straight, anyway.
Okay, we'll work something out.
You want me to sniff around, see if anybody's trying to sell any paintings.
Right.
Okay.
We'll work it out.
I thought we could.
I've been trying to find you all morning.
I've been out pounding the pavement, trying to get a line on those paintings.
Jim, I'm very, very worried about Jeff.
He's gone.
Gone, or just overdue? No, no, no.
Yesterday, after you left, Jeffrey became very upset.
Then he went to the Berkeley Club.
That's where Jeffrey goes when he wants to be by himself.
But this morning, we had a very important meeting with our accountants, and he never showed up.
He never came home.
Do you mind if I ask you a few personal questions? No, I guess not.
The money, the house, everything, who pays for that? You or Jeff? I don't see that, that It's you, isn't it? I don't think that's a deep, dark secret.
So what? Well, Jeff hired those cleaners.
Now, I think it's possible that he could have arranged for the theft of the paintings.
If he was planning on moving out, two million in paintings could be a nice place to start.
That could explain why the paintings never left the country.
I think we ought to bring the police in on it.
What kind of car does he drive? Well, he didn't drive his car last night.
He took Mr.
Benz.
Is Mr.
Benz a maroon 220S? Yes.
Burgundy.
Why? How did you know? Well, I think I know where we might find Jeff, but you're not going to like it.
Somebody's been digging here before us.
It's Jeffrey.
Rockford, you stop by in an hour or so and fill out a statement.
Everything's secured, Captain.
Okay, good.
You don't pay much attention to signs, do you, Rockford? I beg your pardon? This place was posted and you walked right in here and started digging up the ground.
Now, when we post a location, Rockford, it's for a reason.
You should've called us up, given us your suspicions and we would've come out and done the digging.
Now, what you did was technically a misdemeanor and, since I'm a stickler for technicality, I'm gonna give a lot of thought to filing it.
Well, pardon me all to hell! Hey, where's Chapman? I called this thing in to him.
Didn't you hear? He got suspended for the way he handled things last night.
Hey, where is he? I mean, he says 11:30.
I gotta get back.
He said he'd be here.
Relax! Forget your crummy job for five minutes, will ya? Oh, that's easy for you to say.
A job isn't a condition of your parole.
You got the capitalist bandit gang to thank for all your problems.
This revolution is coming.
When it does, we'll see who works in the kitchens and who doesn't! Hey, David, will you knock off that stale '60s rhetoric? You're looking at the new Jag, she wants a Kenzo wardrobe.
I'm sick and tired of hearing about the pigs up on Gorky Street and the storming of the Winter Palace.
I'm not buying a new Jag, I'm buying a paramilitary vehicle, a fast escape car to get away from the pigs.
We all sold out the day she got her first $50 haircut and you and I said we liked it.
Now, I'm sick and tired of that Berkeley dialogue! Yeah.
Me, too.
Me and my people talked Yeah, and? And the stuff is very hot.
You guys should've got it out of the country.
If you had it in Mexico or someplace like that we could talk a lot better deals.
We couldn't get it to Mexico.
We had engine trouble.
I'm just telling you, that's all, you know.
Look, we don't want none of the jewelry.
Forget that, but we'll take the paintings.
Deliver to us and we'll pick the spot.
Okay, let's get on with the figure, shall we? You're not gonna like it.
$200,000.
Half on the exchange, half later.
You saw the art.
Now, we're talking about two million, at least.
Those are originals.
You're right, sonny.
And they're so hot, they're trailing smoke, huh? You know, there's a situation that's analogous Before the long march, Mao Tse-tung found it necessary to climb into bed with certain reactionary self-interested war lords.
Now, some of them later came to embrace the revolution, some didn't.
Like you.
And those who didn't wound up with their heads on the paving stones of Tiananmen Square.
Who's he kidding? Let's shag.
We make no deals.
They're flakes.
And they're from Berkeley.
At least, one of them is.
They had this Cal-Berkeley sticker on the bumper of their car.
Angel, what the Okay, okay, you want to try murder one on Nate Detonis, you go ahead, but you look out, mister.
If that sounds like a threat, then maybe it is.
You just tell the DA to look out.
He's dealing with E.
A.
Martin and I do not fool around.
Make them sweat a little bit.
You think that's smart, threatening the DA? Jimmy, that's my town down there.
It's all mine.
All the little people, all their little jobs looking up at E.
A.
Martin saying, "Help me, E.
A.
, help me!" We were talking about a bumper sticker.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
Well, I got this friend of mine that's a fed.
"Cat Eye" Wilson.
He met with those boys of yours, all right.
Said he wouldn't trust them to float ice cream in a root beer.
One of them went around spouting revolutionary slogans.
The other guy's stocky built, black hair, wore white suits all the time.
And the third member of the group is this stoned out, major league blonde fox.
He said they had a Berkeley bumper sticker on the car.
I said that already, didn't I? What am I out here repeating myself? Angel, I got some sound advice Jimmy, I give advice now.
When you give advice, you don't take advice.
Shut the hell up! Now, you're running way too fast.
You can't threaten the DA and make deals with killers like Nate Detonis.
I can't? Damn you! Why do you say I can't? Nobody tells me what I can do! Nobody! Ain't nobody big enough to deal with me.
No law! No law, no official big enough.
I am E.
A.
Martin.
I'm the man! I'm E.
A.
Martin! I'm Stephen Davis.
Ah! Steve, what class? Berkeley '47.
Ah, you're here from Buellton, you say? Yes, that's right.
What line you in? Aluminum doors and siding.
Oh, really? Well, I'm in publishing.
Well, I'll tell you, you know, you got aluminum in the walls, they're already stronger and lighter.
And with the asbestos, you know, you got on the front and the back, now you got your fire retardant problem kicked in the head and the whole cuckoo's nest is gonna weigh 15 to Cut your construction costs in two.
Oh, really? Well, it's a good idea.
Oh, yeah, I don't know what to tell some of these guys sometimes.
You know, half of them never spent more than six seconds on any kind of engineering problem.
Yeah, I was talking to Jeff LeVane about it.
Oh, it was last week.
You know Jeff used to be in engineering.
You know Jeff? He's a member here.
Oh, well, Jeff and I go way back, sure, yeah.
You know, Jeff's kinda changed.
I used to be able to put a set of plans in front of Jeff, he could read them from any corner, you know.
That must have been a long time ago.
Jeff doesn't seem to work anymore.
Yeah, he collects art.
Oh, yeah, he's been hanging around some strange types.
Strange types? You know that guy with the black hair, that whole radical group.
There's a blonde, and the guy, the other guy that spouts all those slogans and things.
No kidding.
You know, once I did see him talking in here with that Yossi character that works downstairs.
Yossi, Yossi Yeah, I think that's the guy, yeah.
Let me tell you about this guy.
Now, we had to have a board meeting about him three months ago.
This guy, Yossi Hendel, was a Berkeley grad in the '60s.
Now that you mention it, he was one of those free speech guys at Berkeley.
But, technically, he was a member of this club, because he was a graduate.
Well, you know, I I think sometimes maybe we ought to put a few restrictions on the club memberships.
I think it's nice that you're required to wear a tie.
Some of the simple things, you know.
Probably wouldn't hurt to set a few income levels, too.
Steve, doesn't that sort of defeat the purpose of an alumni club? Oh, yeah, yeah, I suppose, yeah.
Anyway, Steve, Yossi is on parole, and he came here looking for a job.
We finally gave it to him.
Now, it took two board votes, but what the hell, I mean, the man is a Berkeley graduate and he needed the job.
Where's he working? He's in the kitchen, washing dishes.
What time is it? It's almost 3:00.
Lieutenant Becker.
Oh, Dennis, this is Jim.
I'm at the Berkeley Club on 3rd Street, downtown.
I'm sitting on a guy named Yossi Hendel.
He's one of the characters who ripped off the St.
Clair place, so you better get somebody down here.
Looks like he's about ready to go off his shift.
Well, hold on to him.
Whatever you do, don't let him outta there.
You just get somebody down here, Dennis.
And get him down here now, Dennis! What happened? Get in.
Let's get out of here! He must have called the cops! All right! All right! Pigs! I know my rights! The Jag, man.
We could have used the Jag! I then put out a call and the suspects were quickly apprehended.
One of the suspects, Mr.
Yossi Hendel, led us to the paintings, which were recovered at 2:38 this afternoon.
They were stored in a rented garage and that's it, fellas.
An official statement will be made by Captain Salducci later this afternoon.
You really give Salducci the old kiss-up, don't you, Becker? Excuse me.
Until we hear from the captain, you guys are free to go.
Was that Chapman I heard out there, bleating? It sure was.
I thought he was suspended.
He is, but it was a political maneuver to take the heat off.
They fed him to the press, so to speak.
But now that we've got it solved, they'll let him out of the closet again.
And when he hits the streets, watch out.
Oh, hey, Jim, thanks a lot.
It was a real good bust for me.
Any time, pal.
Well, I'd better get over to the mortuary to make the final arrangements for Jeffrey's funeral.
You're paying for the funeral even though he tried to steal your paintings? I don't know why he did what he did.
I probably will never understand that.
But for 15 years he was my devoted friend.
I can't forget that, and I won't.
I expect you deserve a bonus.
A reward.
I'll send you a check, with my thanks.
Well, thank you.
Lieutenant.
A reward? How much do you think you'll get? Oh, not much, Dennis.
Probably no more than a couple hundred thousand.
Hey, you can't come in here like that.
Hold it! Look at this department! There's paper everywhere.
Now let's keep this squad room Hey, hey! You wanna take a walk, Martin! E.
A.
or Mister! Shall we remember that, Lieutenant? What is this? Is this somebody's lunch? Let's keep it off the desk.
All right, hold it, hold it, Mr.
Martin.
I know you got a lot of influence around here, but damn it, we're running an active department! You know, being a good cop means more than parading around in blue pants.
You know what I mean? Being a good cop means learning how to keep your desk neat! This came in two hours ago, but with all the excitement I forgot all about it.
Oh, boy.
Influence? I assume you're referring to my dear brother-in-law, Aaron Kiel.
Well, as long as you bring up Aaron's name, what do you think he's gonna think of this pigpen? Hey, Jimmy, do you see what goes on around here? Come on, people, let's file these papers! It's not so hard! Next time I come back here I wanna see everything clean, clean, clean, everywhere I look.
Well, maybe you want to take this with you.
What's this? Oh, I'm sure you're familiar with those, E.
A.
You've seen over a hundred of them.
It's a warrant for your arrest! My arrest? This is my town, Chapman.
Maybe you forgot about Aaron.
No, I haven't, but apparently the DA isn't too worried.
He wants you for coercion of a District Attorney, trial tampering, verbal assault Three months in a county is probably the absolute minimum.
So, as long as we're cleaning up this squad room, let's start by unloading the biggest piece of garbage of all.
Billings? Yes, sir? Bust him! Jimmy!