The Sarah Jane Adventures s05e06 Episode Script
The Man Who Never Was: Part 2
'13 Bannerman Road is where th lives 'and it's home to things imagination.
'There's an extraterrestrial the wall, 'her son, a genetically engineered 'a school girl or across the road 'her adopted daughter her world 'and a whole universe of adventure rstep.
' Ready? Hi! I'm Joseph Serf.
Something weird happened.
hed.
'Enhancing.
' If I could speak to Mr Serf, just to itches.
Meet you both back here n hour.
Call me Sarah Jane.
They're controlling him.
ha! SHE SCREAMS Let her go.
She's just a child! YOU YOU YOU YOU They're going to kill us.
You must escape.
Run! What? What? What do you know? ? Oh, Mr Harrison.
This is not exactly ience for me.
'You're not going to fire that gun.
' No.
But there's a first time I'm walking out now.
You won't stop me.
Sky, what are you doing? HE BEEPS AND CHIRRUPS Grab her! Lipstick that bites? MR SERF CHIRRUPS Berr berr berr berr berr.
'What are you doing down there?' berr berr.
Level five, PUNISH! DEVICE EMITS PIERCING WAIL ALL: Aaaarrghh! Luke, make it stop, make it stop! Ooooh, ooohh Work, work! I'm sorryI must have e for a second.
My goadness, what's happening? Plark, forget it.
It's too late now! What are they doing in there? Oh, no! Intruders in Light Chamber! Luke, Sky, get out of there! Run, run! ALARM BUZZES No! Should be back by now.
Come on, Luke, on! 'Oh, pick it up for once, the club.
I've had seven phones in the last two years.
Thank goodness you're all right! Bizarre! I expected spies, not Mumsnet(!) working it.
They're slaves! Coming, Master! Plark.
Master? You let these human children Master, no, please, master! PUNISH!! Aagghhh! Stop it! PLARK SCREAMS You're hurting these creatures! Read my lips, Pollyanna.
Plark, get back to work! Thank you, Master.
Love master! What are you doing to them? They merely need a firm hand.
Listen, I can help you can get them home.
I don't need your help, They're intelligent, t them like that! Can't I? I paid enough for them.
them?! A ship crash-landed in Central Asia.
What do you mean, "up for sale"? There's a black market in alien k.
They're smuggled across Europe el.
A slave trade in aliens.
Packing turing them.
It's appalling! I can't believe so Successful? Ha-ha-ha! You're so naive.
This is the way the world works.
world! Yes, it is.
Money is exchanged Plenty of bidders at auction, To make billions.
s disgusting.
You're disgusting! I do my best.
I'm beginning to understand this.
pecial about the Serf Board, is there? It's not the board, it's Serf, hypnotic.
He can make you desperate to buy Very good, carry on.
In a few hours, the launch he world over.
Serf hypnotises the entire Serf Board.
And you make a fortune! That's sjust money! Just profit! Shock, horror(!) Right, enough debate! Put the kids in storage five.
No, you leave my children alone! Luke, you look after her! You dare harm my children I'll deal with them, and you, later.
This way.
I'm going to stop this.
o stop you.
What are you going to do? Are you hurting them? Are you hurting ttle people? You are SCUM! Hold on, hold on! I'm a prisoner just like you! The aliens aren't bad, Harrison is.
How could he do that? me so ANGRY! Humans used other humans centuries.
Every culture, the world over.
Nobody challenged them dred years ago.
And in some places it still goes on.
Is this what humans are like? hem.
I can sleep somewhere else ouse.
What? If you want your room back.
I think it upset you but you're not telling me.
It doesn't matter.
And this isn't the time! This morning a little man the lift.
The guards came, they hurt him.
I saw others, many others.
The guards locked me away.
The Skullions.
One of them to escape.
They must be desperate.
They're dying and we will die here too.
No! We're going to get out of here! And the little people, elp them! Sarah Jane Smith.
Adriana Petrescu.
you've just restored my faith race! In just two hours time the Serf ld, 'right here at Serf Systems.
'The eyes of the world will be 'After months of rumours, leaks, 'some say deliberate leaks, 'and endless speculation, rs 'revealed by the secretive MR SMITH:s the latest news nsmission.
' We've got to get over to the ke Luke's car! Clyde, it's the media event tury.
We can't just gatecrash it nkins' party! Give me a minute.
Mr Smith! hospitality.
Get your best clothes.
initiated.
' Move! g in to Serf intranet.
' Bring food for the young ones.
Thanks.
You need this more than we do.
Pure water burns.
What do you drink? Orange, lemon juice, citrus.
Hey, stop! No! Girl stay! We can help you, let us out of here! You stay! Or master punish! Oh.
You need help.
No.
No help! You stay! He can't go against his master, r shock.
The collars are controlled son's pen.
We can't do anything to help get it off him! If we could tell Clyde and Rani, get them to grab it.
They've destroyed our phones.
What about your dog whistle? K9's miles away, he'd never hear it.
He's too far away.
We've got to think of something.
What about Mr Smith? e hear it? Yes! YES! You are SO my sister! Rani, the launch starts in an hour! Oh.
You look great.
I've done it! MR SMITH COUGHS 'WE have done it!' atever! OK, we're in! Trevor and Janet Sharp.
Trevor, do I look like a Trevor? Although I am sharp.
They're journalists, Years magazine, Couldn't you do better? They're the only ones on on't turn up.
'Mr And Mrs Sharp are stranded ort, 'thanks to aa-hem, lfunction.
' Mr and Mrs? Oh, yeah, and they're, eh, married.
Right.
Right.
The cavalry's coming, and it's me and the missus.
Come on! 'Wait a moment! I'm picking up a ated signal, 'in Morse code!' Brilliant! 'The transmission is on uency of K-9.
' It must be Luke, the whistle! rap.
How do we know it's Luke for sure? 'Deciphering 'Message begins, Clani' Yeah, that's Luke! 'Grab Harrison's 'P-E-N.
Full stop.
' Never been so glad to see does it mean? What it says.
Grab his pen! Ready to go through with this? I will help the little people.
.
I hope I am.
oldie but a goodie.
Go! Help, help! This crazy woman, kill me! Help, please! Help, please! Owww! Hey! Well done! Let's go! There must be no mistakes! Everything at the launch must go Yes, Master, yes, Master! This time you are working Fail me and it's level ten punish! Master? What do you want? We so thirsty.
Oooh, dear(!) Shall I give you all a drink? No, Master! Please, Master! Ha-ha-ha-ha! No! Water burns, water burns! You get the message? WORK! PLARK HISSES Luke! Oh, Sky! Come on! Listen, I've got a plan.
But first we need to get that pen son! We've got that covered.
kids.
Hi.
Can I just check that for you? That's lovely, thank you.
Right, just in time.
here is Harrison? He's over there.
Oh, he doesn't look like much.
And what's his pen do with it? Oh, there we go, top pocket.
Ready, ready, ready! , near time! Oh, this place is terrible.
The smell! But look! They got the message! ted, aren't you? No, no! Go, go, go! It's OK! We're going to help you! No help! Master punish! Not for much longer.
Leave it to What then? Your gifted mum's got that covered.
here! Adriana, I need something from you.
Right! Here goes! Hello, hello! , good to see you! Keeps me young.
Lionel Carson.
Call me Trev.
Meet Janet, the trouble and strife.
Oh, Trev, my old ball and chain.
You're from Twilight Years? What? We're the voice of youth.
We're opinion formers! We give star review, and watch the sales rocket! Rocket in a very steady e way.
Yeah, wouldn't want to any big shocks! There aren't enough stars he Serf Board! Everyone will love it.
ou will.
PHONE RINGS Escaped? Well, then find her! NOW! Mr Harrison, isn't it? wilight Years.
Do you mind if I grab a quick word? Mr Carson, could I borrow a pen? f.
Send that message now, Mr Smith! t needed! Co-ordinatesthe roof tems compound.
Yeah.
'Earth calling Skultos.
d.
'Dispatch rescue vehicle immediately, 'urgent, to these co-ordinates.
' That is amazing.
Ooh, bum! Pen's run out, can I borrow yours? Yes, here.
Look, keep it.
Thank you, Sorry, mate.
Waste of time! Three cheers for d switcheroo.
He did it!e free! Free! ALL: Free, free! Free, free! Clyde's got the pen! Plark! Come, bring your roof, quickly.
Rescue's on its way! Skultos.
Home! Come on, now! Quick, follow us! You two stay here eye on Harrison.
But Sky.
See you soon! Come on! RUN! Hi, I'm Joseph Serf.
I'm here to introduce the Serf Board the world's newest, and best, portable computer.
The 15th at 5pm.
A moment of history.
But I don't get it, it's just a pen.
Don't play with it! Mine, I think, Janet! Enjoy the show.
Get ready, Plark, the time is now! 'Just one mistake !' No! He's got the pen back! If the hologram doesn't obey, ng's wrong! He'll hurt them, m getting away.
We've got to work Serf! What? We've got to hologram ourselves.
Come on, come on! But they are free? Almost, Adriana! Almost! So before we go through let's meet the man behind the Serf Board.
Joseph Serf! Ha-ha-hum Mr Joseph Serf! Ready? Serf! Now, now, now! Left leg.
Right leg.
Right leg.
Walk! WALK! AUDIENCE CLAPS Fella's been drinking.
Welcome to my lovely lunch.
My lovely launch.
Oh, I AM gorgeous.
He'd never say that! could think of! You keep him talking! irls.
Remember, he's American! Yee-ha! As I woke up, put my grits on the griddle, "What a cotton-pickin' day What? What? You've been watching in.
He's going to use the pen.
No! Aaarrghhh! The pen! Get the pen! Aaaarrghh! He's hypnotic.
We've got hypno-power.
Listen, everybody.
I want you to grab n! Grab the pen from him! THEY SHOUT I say, that's not on! r alone! Smash it! SMASH IT! THEY SHOUT: Smash it! No! No! No! It's stopped.
Go home! The Serf Board is rubbish! Cobblers! Garbage! Go home.
Tell everyone! No!t is.
Stupid computers.
"Nothing wrong with a typewriter," It's grade A, In fact, you think it's rubbish, I've got a weird feeling about him.
Hi, Clani! I knew it! Go to the roof.
Bye, Clani! We did it!on? Sarah Jane Smith! ! You're too late.
I said I'd You and whose army? That army! We go now.
Thank you, thank you! You good people! I think that's your ride! Quick! Come on! No! I paid billions! No! No! You belong to me! Yes! That was a spaceship.
ill they do to Harrison? Set him to work, I hope.
Erwho's this again? I mean I WAS the cleaner.
So you people, you do this ul! Give this lot a call.
my name.
You're just the kind of agent back on track.
And the pay will be very good, I'll make sure of that.
'The Serf Board has failed 'and Joseph Serf has disappeared.
' That's enough, Mr Smith.
Well, I'm certainly not Oh, poor Mr Serf.
The real Mr Serf.
Nobody will ever know ppened to him.
Done it.
u get me, please? Sure.
Won't be a second.
What are you two up to? Sorry, Sarah Jane, amily thing! Hi, Sky! on? Present for you.
lyde to do it.
For me? It's your room, isn't it? It's great! oo good for my sister! Come here.
'I've seen amazing things space '.
.
but strange things can happen are.
'I've learned that life n adventure too.
' Mum? 'In all the universe 'I never expected to find a family.
'
'There's an extraterrestrial the wall, 'her son, a genetically engineered 'a school girl or across the road 'her adopted daughter her world 'and a whole universe of adventure rstep.
' Ready? Hi! I'm Joseph Serf.
Something weird happened.
hed.
'Enhancing.
' If I could speak to Mr Serf, just to itches.
Meet you both back here n hour.
Call me Sarah Jane.
They're controlling him.
ha! SHE SCREAMS Let her go.
She's just a child! YOU YOU YOU YOU They're going to kill us.
You must escape.
Run! What? What? What do you know? ? Oh, Mr Harrison.
This is not exactly ience for me.
'You're not going to fire that gun.
' No.
But there's a first time I'm walking out now.
You won't stop me.
Sky, what are you doing? HE BEEPS AND CHIRRUPS Grab her! Lipstick that bites? MR SERF CHIRRUPS Berr berr berr berr berr.
'What are you doing down there?' berr berr.
Level five, PUNISH! DEVICE EMITS PIERCING WAIL ALL: Aaaarrghh! Luke, make it stop, make it stop! Ooooh, ooohh Work, work! I'm sorryI must have e for a second.
My goadness, what's happening? Plark, forget it.
It's too late now! What are they doing in there? Oh, no! Intruders in Light Chamber! Luke, Sky, get out of there! Run, run! ALARM BUZZES No! Should be back by now.
Come on, Luke, on! 'Oh, pick it up for once, the club.
I've had seven phones in the last two years.
Thank goodness you're all right! Bizarre! I expected spies, not Mumsnet(!) working it.
They're slaves! Coming, Master! Plark.
Master? You let these human children Master, no, please, master! PUNISH!! Aagghhh! Stop it! PLARK SCREAMS You're hurting these creatures! Read my lips, Pollyanna.
Plark, get back to work! Thank you, Master.
Love master! What are you doing to them? They merely need a firm hand.
Listen, I can help you can get them home.
I don't need your help, They're intelligent, t them like that! Can't I? I paid enough for them.
them?! A ship crash-landed in Central Asia.
What do you mean, "up for sale"? There's a black market in alien k.
They're smuggled across Europe el.
A slave trade in aliens.
Packing turing them.
It's appalling! I can't believe so Successful? Ha-ha-ha! You're so naive.
This is the way the world works.
world! Yes, it is.
Money is exchanged Plenty of bidders at auction, To make billions.
s disgusting.
You're disgusting! I do my best.
I'm beginning to understand this.
pecial about the Serf Board, is there? It's not the board, it's Serf, hypnotic.
He can make you desperate to buy Very good, carry on.
In a few hours, the launch he world over.
Serf hypnotises the entire Serf Board.
And you make a fortune! That's sjust money! Just profit! Shock, horror(!) Right, enough debate! Put the kids in storage five.
No, you leave my children alone! Luke, you look after her! You dare harm my children I'll deal with them, and you, later.
This way.
I'm going to stop this.
o stop you.
What are you going to do? Are you hurting them? Are you hurting ttle people? You are SCUM! Hold on, hold on! I'm a prisoner just like you! The aliens aren't bad, Harrison is.
How could he do that? me so ANGRY! Humans used other humans centuries.
Every culture, the world over.
Nobody challenged them dred years ago.
And in some places it still goes on.
Is this what humans are like? hem.
I can sleep somewhere else ouse.
What? If you want your room back.
I think it upset you but you're not telling me.
It doesn't matter.
And this isn't the time! This morning a little man the lift.
The guards came, they hurt him.
I saw others, many others.
The guards locked me away.
The Skullions.
One of them to escape.
They must be desperate.
They're dying and we will die here too.
No! We're going to get out of here! And the little people, elp them! Sarah Jane Smith.
Adriana Petrescu.
you've just restored my faith race! In just two hours time the Serf ld, 'right here at Serf Systems.
'The eyes of the world will be 'After months of rumours, leaks, 'some say deliberate leaks, 'and endless speculation, rs 'revealed by the secretive MR SMITH:s the latest news nsmission.
' We've got to get over to the ke Luke's car! Clyde, it's the media event tury.
We can't just gatecrash it nkins' party! Give me a minute.
Mr Smith! hospitality.
Get your best clothes.
initiated.
' Move! g in to Serf intranet.
' Bring food for the young ones.
Thanks.
You need this more than we do.
Pure water burns.
What do you drink? Orange, lemon juice, citrus.
Hey, stop! No! Girl stay! We can help you, let us out of here! You stay! Or master punish! Oh.
You need help.
No.
No help! You stay! He can't go against his master, r shock.
The collars are controlled son's pen.
We can't do anything to help get it off him! If we could tell Clyde and Rani, get them to grab it.
They've destroyed our phones.
What about your dog whistle? K9's miles away, he'd never hear it.
He's too far away.
We've got to think of something.
What about Mr Smith? e hear it? Yes! YES! You are SO my sister! Rani, the launch starts in an hour! Oh.
You look great.
I've done it! MR SMITH COUGHS 'WE have done it!' atever! OK, we're in! Trevor and Janet Sharp.
Trevor, do I look like a Trevor? Although I am sharp.
They're journalists, Years magazine, Couldn't you do better? They're the only ones on on't turn up.
'Mr And Mrs Sharp are stranded ort, 'thanks to aa-hem, lfunction.
' Mr and Mrs? Oh, yeah, and they're, eh, married.
Right.
Right.
The cavalry's coming, and it's me and the missus.
Come on! 'Wait a moment! I'm picking up a ated signal, 'in Morse code!' Brilliant! 'The transmission is on uency of K-9.
' It must be Luke, the whistle! rap.
How do we know it's Luke for sure? 'Deciphering 'Message begins, Clani' Yeah, that's Luke! 'Grab Harrison's 'P-E-N.
Full stop.
' Never been so glad to see does it mean? What it says.
Grab his pen! Ready to go through with this? I will help the little people.
.
I hope I am.
oldie but a goodie.
Go! Help, help! This crazy woman, kill me! Help, please! Help, please! Owww! Hey! Well done! Let's go! There must be no mistakes! Everything at the launch must go Yes, Master, yes, Master! This time you are working Fail me and it's level ten punish! Master? What do you want? We so thirsty.
Oooh, dear(!) Shall I give you all a drink? No, Master! Please, Master! Ha-ha-ha-ha! No! Water burns, water burns! You get the message? WORK! PLARK HISSES Luke! Oh, Sky! Come on! Listen, I've got a plan.
But first we need to get that pen son! We've got that covered.
kids.
Hi.
Can I just check that for you? That's lovely, thank you.
Right, just in time.
here is Harrison? He's over there.
Oh, he doesn't look like much.
And what's his pen do with it? Oh, there we go, top pocket.
Ready, ready, ready! , near time! Oh, this place is terrible.
The smell! But look! They got the message! ted, aren't you? No, no! Go, go, go! It's OK! We're going to help you! No help! Master punish! Not for much longer.
Leave it to What then? Your gifted mum's got that covered.
here! Adriana, I need something from you.
Right! Here goes! Hello, hello! , good to see you! Keeps me young.
Lionel Carson.
Call me Trev.
Meet Janet, the trouble and strife.
Oh, Trev, my old ball and chain.
You're from Twilight Years? What? We're the voice of youth.
We're opinion formers! We give star review, and watch the sales rocket! Rocket in a very steady e way.
Yeah, wouldn't want to any big shocks! There aren't enough stars he Serf Board! Everyone will love it.
ou will.
PHONE RINGS Escaped? Well, then find her! NOW! Mr Harrison, isn't it? wilight Years.
Do you mind if I grab a quick word? Mr Carson, could I borrow a pen? f.
Send that message now, Mr Smith! t needed! Co-ordinatesthe roof tems compound.
Yeah.
'Earth calling Skultos.
d.
'Dispatch rescue vehicle immediately, 'urgent, to these co-ordinates.
' That is amazing.
Ooh, bum! Pen's run out, can I borrow yours? Yes, here.
Look, keep it.
Thank you, Sorry, mate.
Waste of time! Three cheers for d switcheroo.
He did it!e free! Free! ALL: Free, free! Free, free! Clyde's got the pen! Plark! Come, bring your roof, quickly.
Rescue's on its way! Skultos.
Home! Come on, now! Quick, follow us! You two stay here eye on Harrison.
But Sky.
See you soon! Come on! RUN! Hi, I'm Joseph Serf.
I'm here to introduce the Serf Board the world's newest, and best, portable computer.
The 15th at 5pm.
A moment of history.
But I don't get it, it's just a pen.
Don't play with it! Mine, I think, Janet! Enjoy the show.
Get ready, Plark, the time is now! 'Just one mistake !' No! He's got the pen back! If the hologram doesn't obey, ng's wrong! He'll hurt them, m getting away.
We've got to work Serf! What? We've got to hologram ourselves.
Come on, come on! But they are free? Almost, Adriana! Almost! So before we go through let's meet the man behind the Serf Board.
Joseph Serf! Ha-ha-hum Mr Joseph Serf! Ready? Serf! Now, now, now! Left leg.
Right leg.
Right leg.
Walk! WALK! AUDIENCE CLAPS Fella's been drinking.
Welcome to my lovely lunch.
My lovely launch.
Oh, I AM gorgeous.
He'd never say that! could think of! You keep him talking! irls.
Remember, he's American! Yee-ha! As I woke up, put my grits on the griddle, "What a cotton-pickin' day What? What? You've been watching in.
He's going to use the pen.
No! Aaarrghhh! The pen! Get the pen! Aaaarrghh! He's hypnotic.
We've got hypno-power.
Listen, everybody.
I want you to grab n! Grab the pen from him! THEY SHOUT I say, that's not on! r alone! Smash it! SMASH IT! THEY SHOUT: Smash it! No! No! No! It's stopped.
Go home! The Serf Board is rubbish! Cobblers! Garbage! Go home.
Tell everyone! No!t is.
Stupid computers.
"Nothing wrong with a typewriter," It's grade A, In fact, you think it's rubbish, I've got a weird feeling about him.
Hi, Clani! I knew it! Go to the roof.
Bye, Clani! We did it!on? Sarah Jane Smith! ! You're too late.
I said I'd You and whose army? That army! We go now.
Thank you, thank you! You good people! I think that's your ride! Quick! Come on! No! I paid billions! No! No! You belong to me! Yes! That was a spaceship.
ill they do to Harrison? Set him to work, I hope.
Erwho's this again? I mean I WAS the cleaner.
So you people, you do this ul! Give this lot a call.
my name.
You're just the kind of agent back on track.
And the pay will be very good, I'll make sure of that.
'The Serf Board has failed 'and Joseph Serf has disappeared.
' That's enough, Mr Smith.
Well, I'm certainly not Oh, poor Mr Serf.
The real Mr Serf.
Nobody will ever know ppened to him.
Done it.
u get me, please? Sure.
Won't be a second.
What are you two up to? Sorry, Sarah Jane, amily thing! Hi, Sky! on? Present for you.
lyde to do it.
For me? It's your room, isn't it? It's great! oo good for my sister! Come here.
'I've seen amazing things space '.
.
but strange things can happen are.
'I've learned that life n adventure too.
' Mum? 'In all the universe 'I never expected to find a family.
'