The Wonder Years s05e06 Episode Script

The nineteen-seventies Were filled with improbable events.
Strange occurrences.
Unexpected happenings.
But nothing was quite as improbable As my brother And his new girlfriend.
Why is Sandy Tyler dating your brother? Got me.
What is it? Like some kind of science experiment? Got me.
It defied explanation.
Sandy Tyler was a seemingly-intelligent eleventh-grader.
She was smart.
She was pretty.
She's outof her mind.
Seemed as good an explanation as any.
- Hey.
Kevhow's it going? - Hi.
Kevin - Hi.
How ya doin'? - Good.
"Scarlet Letter", huh? Yeah, we read that last year.
Yeah.
It's really - Thick? - Yeah.
It's really thick.
And stupid.
I mean, the lady is tempted once by love, and she's made a complete outcast.
I think the town over-reacted.
Right, Wayne? UhuhIndubitably.
It was amazing.
- WellWe better get goin'.
Come on.
- OKBye By some fantastic stroke of cosmic luck, my brother had found paradise.
A girl with charm.
A girl with style.
A girlwho used her silverware.
- This is great, Mrs.
Arnold.
- Yes.
It's, uhsuperb.
Oh, wellthank you.
Needless to say It was a shock.
I was shocked Dad was shocked Only my mother seemed to have expected this.
SoHow did you two meet? Lemme tell.
I was running to classand I tripped on the stairs, and I was falling, and all of a sudden - There was Wayne.
- Lucky me.
- I'll say.
- I'll say.
Yep - Wayne was really improving himself socially.
Not to mention academically.
Don't look at the keys, don't look at the keys Don't look at the keys, don't look at the keys, don't look at the keys Excellent technique, Mr.
Arnold.
- Thanks.
- Not you.
- Thanks.
Let's face it.
The guy was on a roll.
Let's see your work, Mr.
Arnold.
Whereas for me The story of my life read more like Dodoplinflerclompssterodinumbelumka.
I didn't look at the keys.
Sophomores.
It was true.
While my worthless brotherWas hitting his stride, I seemed to be losing ground.
And fast.
For one thing I was in a very serious dating-slump.
I'm not sure why, exactly.
HeyI'd watch out for those mashed potatoes.
I bet there's a lot of parasites in 'em.
Creep! Possibly, just possibly, it had something to do with my technique.
Batter up! Hey, Alice! How ya doin'? Hi, Kevin What's wrong? My geometry teacher caught me cheating.
I don't even think it is cheating! - Well, it's not! - You weren't there! Right! But, I bet it wasn't.
Instead of copying the notes from the book, I copied them from someone else's paper.
It's not like I wrote the answer on my hand! What difference does it make who I copied from? Now my teacher's gonna tell my parents, and I'm gonna get an "F"and it's gonna be on my permanent record! You wanna go to the dance with me on Friday? Huh? OK, my timing might have been a little off.
I'm sorryI know you're upset and everything.
NoIt's OK.
I'd like to go with you.
Great! ButRichard Rockman already asked me.
Oh.
Yeah.
Richard.
He's very sensitive.
The guy sniffed his gym socks.
Yeah.
He'sreal sensitive.
- WellI hope you feel better.
- Thanks.
Kevin? Can I copy your history notes? It didn't make sense.
- Bye.
- Bye.
All over school, girls were going out with jerks, and calling them "sensitive" Or dumb guys and calling them "deep".
It just wasn't fair.
I decided to get away.
Be alone, all by myself.
Forget all about things, like Romance.
Hi.
- Hi! - Hi SorryI didn't know anyone was down here.
- It's OK.
Come onSit down.
- Yeah.
Join us.
Talk about your warm welcomes.
No, thanks.
I got a lot of stuff to do.
KevinSit down.
We're watching "Sonny and Cher".
Yeah.
Wellmaybe for a second.
Great.
Beingbeing sexy is not that big of a deal.
How would you know? - OKbest comedy team - Abbott and Costello.
- Laurel and Hardy.
- Martin and Lewis.
The Three Stooges.
I couldn't believe it.
My brother, Wayne Was actually being funny.
And charming.
Uh, I think I gotta go to the can.
They are so good together.
Let's hear it for Sonny Bono's little finger.
I - I think it's because they're so in love.
Yeah, you can tell.
I mean, they really like being around each other.
Yeah.
And suddenlyI felt very relaxed with her.
Maybe because it was I didn't have to ask her for a date.
You thinkThere's one special person for everyone? I don't know.
I think you can be happy with lots of people.
ButThere's probably one person out there.
Yeah, that's what I think, too.
Butwho knows if you're ever going to find that person? I mean, my girl could be in AlaskaFor all I know.
Yeah.
Yeah.
! It was a heavy conversation.
That's easy - you're short.
Oh, I love it when she makes those short jokes.
Yeah, it's funny.
I don't think she's trying to be nasty or anything.
No! Noyou can tellshe's justbeing funny.
"I Got You" - Sonny and Cher ¢ÜThey say we're young and we don't know¢Ü ¢ÜWon't find out till we grow¢Ü ¢ÜWell, I don't know if that's all true¢Ü ¢Ü'Cause you got me¢Ü ¢ÜAnd baby, I got you¢Ü Did I miss anything? No.
¢ÜBabe¢Ü ¢ÜI got you babe¢Ü ¢ÜI got you babe¢Ü Yeah, it meant something.
It meant something to me, too.
It's just that, uh, Kevin I'm dating your brother.
Yeah, I know.
And it makes me feel creepy.
I've done some strange things in my life, but, uhgoing out with two brothers It was weird.
Here she was, baring her soul to me And all I could think about was what other strange things? The thing isI like Wayne.
I mean, he's sohe's sohe's so basic.
Yeah.
He'sbasic.
And he's real nice.
It's just that I don't know what happened last night.
You seemed so lonely.
Oh AndWe were watching "Sonny and Cher", andthey were together, andwe kissed.
It was almost like Sonny and Cher kissed.
This is a dumb conversation, huh? Kinda.
It's just all too crazy.
YeahIt is Yeah, I think it would be best if we could, uhjust be friends.
Yeah.
You're right.
I think friends isdefinitely the way to go.
Yeah.
Was that a friendship kiss? Yeah.
We should definitely just be friends.
"I Got You" - Sonny and Cher ¢ÜThey say we're young and we don't know¢Ü For the rest of the day ¢ÜWon't find out till we grow¢Ü We were friendsall over school.
¢ÜWon't find out till we grow¢Ü ¢ÜWell, I don't know If that's all true¢Ü ¢Ü'Cause you got me And baby, I got you¢Ü Sure, I knew it was wrong, but I didn't care.
Dad? Can I borrow a couple bucks? Until that Friday.
Well, I'm takin' Sandy to the dance, tonight.
Oh Things were getting a little complicated.
- Are you going, Kevin? To put it mildly.
Are you kidding? Butthead can't get a date.
- YeahI'm goin'.
- Oh, well that's good.
Maybe you'll meet someone there.
If only she knew.
You knowyour father and I met at a school dance.
Do you remember that, Jack? Uh-huh It was the last time you talked to Dick Claiborne.
Great.
I'm stuck in this terrible situation And my mother was gonna relive old times.
He was your father's best friend.
Dick took me to the dance but I saw your father there.
Of course I had seen him before, but He was in a new suit.
Skinny as a rail.
Anyway They had this terrible fight over me, andthey haven't talked since.
So? Soit was worth it.
And for some reason Suddenly, I was listening.
Had he really said that? Soit was worth it.
He had.
And as those words rang in my head like a gongI made up my mind.
No matter what it did to Wayne, I would have to be with Sandy.
She was definitely worth it.
Hey, butthead.
What do you think of the shirt? - It looks cool.
- I'll change.
I began to build my case.
Look at him.
He didn't deserve her.
He was disgusting.
"Basic"? He was subhuman.
He was a cretin.
He always picked on meTook my stufftreated me like dirt.
The guy never offered me One thing in his entire life.
So, you need a ride for tonight? Except for a ride.
You're talking to me? Yeah! You can come with Sandy and me.
- I don't know, Wayne.
- Come onit'll be fun.
It was horrible.
Here I was, trying to knock the guy down And all he was being wasNice.
You really like her, huh? DuhYeah.
And then he said something I'll never forget.
Sandy Makes me better than I am.
Whatever that means.
UhI'm leaving in a half hour.
Be ready.
And then I realized who the cretin really was.
It was me.
"If" - Bread I was lower than a cretin.
I was lower than subhuman.
I was yeast.
¢ÜIf a picture paints a thousand words¢Ü ¢ÜThen why can't I paint you¢Ü Don't do this.
¢ÜThe you I've grown to know¢Ü As I sat there, feeling the romance in that car I knew I had been kidding myself.
I could never go through with this.
HmmmLet's boogie.
Wayne? Let's just stay in the car a minute.
I-I need to talk to you.
Unfortunately, Sandy could.
Uh, yeah! Let's all stay.
Kevin, I need to talk to Wayne alone.
Well, I don't mind staying.
Really.
He likes to hang around me.
Kevin I couldn't hear what they were saying.
But I didn't have to.
I knew what it meant.
"Green River" - Creedence Clearwater ¢ÜWell, take me back down¢Ü ¢ÜWhere cool water flow, yeah¢Ü I walked around in a daze Worried that Sandy had broken up with him.
Worried that she hadn't.
Hey.
Kevin - How ya doin'? - OK.
- Let's go.
- Uh-huh.
- Your dates are cool.
- Oh, thanksI hope they come back Well, I'll see you guys later, OK? - Sandy.
- Kevin.
- You can't break up with Wayne.
- I just did.
I had to.
What'd he say? Well, he felt bad.
So did I.
Does he know? About us? We shouldn't have done this.
Kevin, I really want to be with you.
I gotta go talk to him.
"I Shall Be Released" - Bob Dylan Hey.
¢ÜThey say everything can be replaced¢Ü How ya doin'? ¢ÜThey say everything can be replaced¢Ü Look, Wayne ¢ÜThey say every distance is not near¢Ü Listen, I ¢ÜSo, I remember every face¢Ü I broke up with Sandy.
¢ÜSo, I remember every face¢Ü - What?! - Dumped her.
You did? ¢ÜOf every man who put me here¢Ü Yeah.
It wasn't working out.
¢ÜOf every man who put me here¢Ü She wasn't my type.
¢ÜI see my light come shinin'¢Ü The thing isI don't mean to get philosophical ¢ÜI see my light come shinin'¢Ü But I think ¢ÜFrom the west down to the east¢Ü Even though she's hurt ¢ÜFrom the west down to the east¢Ü AndEven though she feelsthat nobody loves her ¢ÜFrom the west down to the east¢Ü And she's all alone ¢ÜAny day now¢Ü It'sbetter if it endedfast.
¢ÜI shall be released¢Ü Because shehas a better chance of gettin' over it ¢ÜThey say every man must need protection¢Ü ¢ÜThey say that every man must fall¢Ü Someday.
¢ÜYet, I swear I see my reflection¢Ü As I sat there Listening to my brother's pain ¢ÜSomewhere so high above this wall¢Ü And the lies he told To cover itI didn't know what to do.
¢ÜI see my light come shinin'¢Ü I knew I wanted to be with Sandy.
Holding her in my arms ¢ÜI see my light come shinin'¢Ü Dancing with her.
¢ÜFrom the west down to the east¢Ü But in the end ¢ÜAny day now¢Ü I stayed with my brother ¢ÜAny day now¢Ü Because, after all ¢ÜAny day now¢Ü He was ¢ÜI shall be released¢Ü My brother.
¢ÜI shall be released¢Ü Butthead.
¢ÜNow yonder stands a man in this lonely crowd¢Ü Buttbrain.
¢ÜA man who swears he's not to blame¢Ü ¢ÜAll day long I hear him shouting so loud¢Ü ¢ÜJust crying out that he was framed¢Ü °¨»çÇÕ´Ï´Ù.
¢ÜI see my light come shinin'¢Ü Á¦ÀÛ : iamy1004 (iamy1004@hanmail.
net)