Ackley Bridge (2017) s05e07 Episode Script
Season 5, Episode 7
Good morning, Ackley Bridge.
This is your acting head speaking.
And what an auspicious
start to the day it is
as we wish our girls' rugby
team the very best of British
in their match against
reigning champions St Mark's.
I'm sure you'll join
me in cheering them on,
especially our star
captain, Marina Dobson.
Marina, we know you've got this, pet.
And remember, folks, "If
you can't be an athlete,
be an athletic supporter."
It's from Grease.
Have a taste of me fig rolls, Ken.
They're extra fruity,
just how you like them.
THEY LAUGH
CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS
They're gonna eat us alive.
What are they doing?
See the captain over there?
I've got something
special lined up for her.
Wanna get off your phone for five
seconds? We need to talk tactics.
If we lose, it won't be because of me.
Ruki's the only other decent
player. And Spud can't even catch.
- Marina
- It's not my fault. Playing with you lot
is like dragging a dead
elephant round the pitch.
Can't play. I've been sick. Three times.
- Nerves.
- Classic.
Worse. Other end, an' all.
I'm contagious. I should go home.
You're scared. I get it.
It's easier to give up than
face the humiliation of losing.
But you're the captain, Marina.
How your team plays reflects on you,
whether you're on that pitch or not.
So get out there and lead by example.
Don't go causing trouble, Dad.
Who? Me? Come on.
There he is. There he is.
Come on, Ackley!
Yeah.
Come on, Ackley!
Go on, Fizza!
- Go on, girl.
- You came.
Yeah, well, you know me:
always up for a laugh.
Girls' rugby, that's got to
be a What d'you call it?
Oxymoron.
Hey! Don't be rude.
- Come on, Ackley!
- Let's go!
Urgh. Can somebody get her a towel?
LAUGHTER
WHISTLE
That's it, girls. Let's go!
Go on.
That's it, girls, keep going.
Yes, Chloe!
Marina!
Switch on!
What the hell is she playing at?
WHISTLE
And you said Spud can't catch.
CHEERING
Well done, Xanthe.
Well done!
Yes, Spud!
Go on, Ruki!
Foul, Ref! She deliberately tripped her.
- WHISTLE
- Half-time.
- She could have scored.
- Half-time.
Did you see that? It's not fair.
You're gonna have to come off.
Nah, I can still play.
Ow!
Hey You played like a champ, kid.
Let's get you an ice pack. I've got it.
- SHE WINCES
- Thanks.
Are they malnourished from all the
free school dinners or something?
LAUGHTER
We'll see how malnourished I
am when I smash your face in!
- Marina, don't.
- Come on! What are you waiting for?
Come on, get back, get back.
Where are you going?!
- They were asking for that.
- Are you trying to get us disqualified?
- Don't have a go at her, miss.
- They were well out of order.
There's only one way you're going
to teach girls like that a lesson,
and that's go out there and win.
But you have to work as a team.
Focus that rage.
- I'd have loved to see you land that punch.
- Don't encourage her.
Focus that rage.
Do your worst Poundshop Barbie.
- LAUGHTER
- She shouldn't have said that.
- What did she say?
- Poundshop.
- REFEREE: OK, ladies, crouch.
- Right, girls, come on.
- Five!
- Come on, girls!
Set. Steady.
Keep pushing!
Forward!
Push!
WHISTLE
- Well done, Spud.
- Penalty: Ackley Bridge.
CHEERING
Yes!
- Come on.
- Oh
Go on, Marina. Go on!
CHEERING
Yes, come on!
Girls.
What is she saying to 'em?
- Go on, Marina!
- I'm gonna pass it.
Go on, Spud. You can do it!
CHEERING
Go on, come on!
CHEERING
Yes!
It's your conversion, Marina, all right?
Come on, we can win this.
Come on.
CHEERING
Get in there!
We won! We won! Get in!
- Well done, girls. Well done!
- Yeah!
Yeah!
Yes, yes, yes!
- That were amazing.
- Spud, that final try!
I couldn't believe it. I really
thought they were gonna catch me.
Oh, it was so good.
We couldn't have done
it without you bro.
SHE LAUGHS
Guys I'm sorry
for what I said earlier.
- Should be.
- You all played brilliantly.
Who's up for a party at mine later?
Me.
ALL SHRIEK
Well, Miss Farooqi How about
I treat you to a Cluck Stop later?
Sure.
- KNOCK AT DOOR
- Hiya, star player.
Sorry about parents' evening.
I'm just really protective of my dad
So you thought you'd slander
me in front of the whole school?
- I didn't lie.
- Look, I know how hard things are for you, Fizza,
and I recognise a cry
for help when I see one.
But you can't just
make stuff up about me
just to get a reaction from your mum.
You were slurring and swaying.
I'd taken a cold remedy.
Ended up necking the
night dose by mistake.
Whatever you think
you saw you didn't.
Right.
CHEERING
Must be shaming, getting
beaten by Poundshop Barbie.
What are you gonna
tell your followers now?
Hey That was awesome.
I'm captain of the boys' rugger team.
That final conversion was outstanding.
Josh, by the way.
Marina.
Marina. Like a sailing holiday.
I don't know what made me say that.
I don't suppose you'd, erm
I'm having a party later tonight, if
if you fancy it.
And if you don't, I'll walk
away now, completely humiliated.
I'm out with my mates tonight.
Bring them with you.
OK.
OK.
Got you a drink.
Strawberry.
A fine vintage.
SHE LAUGHS
So what d'you fancy?
Probably just a chicken burger.
Can't let you do that. I'll order.
Er, I said I'll have a chicken burger.
SHE SHRIEKS
Oh, my God, Marina.
You've landed a millionaire!
SHE SHRIEKS
Oi, girls!
- DOORBELL
- I need a wee.
You'll just have to hold it.
- Are my eyelashes coming off?
- No.
ALL: Hi.
- Hi.
- Time to get this place rocking, kid. Got any ice?
Marina. Hi. Sorry, I
I will try and sound a bit
less like a five-year-old.
Come in. Come in.
Welcome to my house.
(MUSIC PLAYS: SIREN SONG
BY THE TRIBE OF GOOD)
This party needs better tunes.
Are they royalty, bro?
She obviously don't recognise me
when I'm not whipping her backside.
JOSH LAUGHS
It's your nemesis, Xanthe. Remember?
(MUSIC PLAYS: FATTE CHAK BY ANGREJ ALI)
That's more like it.
Back in a minute.
WHOOPING
THEY LAUGH
You outright told her
I wasn't interested?
You used those words?
Why would you do that?
Jealous?
You're pretty much the only
real friend I've got, Chlo.
Don't know why. I don't deserve you.
I figured if you two got together
and you finally got to hang
out with someone half-decent,
I'd never see you again.
Come here, you twerp.
I'm going nowhere.
But I could kill you.
I'm gonna sort this.
I know I'm a bitch. But she isn't.
Why didn't you tell me what she said?
I could have put it right in seconds.
It's not just that. It's
the way you are with her.
You never stand up to her.
Whoo!
This place is amazing.
Do you want a tour?
Do you wake up every day and
think, "Oh, my God, I live here"?
It's easy to take stuff for granted.
Although I can't imagine
ever feeling that way about you.
What's through there?
Whoo!
ALL WHOOP
Whoo!
You're magnificent.
What?
You. Magnificent.
Thanks.
Wow.
- Do you ever put that phone away?
- CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS
I like things that look nice.
Well, no wonder you're
always taking selfies, then.
Here.
CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS
HE LAUGHS
Beautiful.
You really are incredible.
This is all so perfect.
YOU'RE so perfect.
This popcorn chicken is the best.
You sure you don't want the burger?
Just admit I was right.
Even a stopped clock tells
the right time twice a day.
I need a piss. Don't eat
all the popcorn chicken.
HE SNIFFS
It cost a fortune!
God, you got an Uber
all the way from London?
Did your mum go mad?
Not as mad as when I
sent everyone in school
a photo of her topless.
You're pure evil.
PHONE RINGS
Is that your dad?
He'll keep.
This table is gorgeous.
I did not bring you here to
talk about interior design
Hotgirl2004.
It's not a secret, is it?
Hey, don't worry. I liked what I saw.
Can we go back to the party?
I would much rather be here with you.
Has no-one ever told you no before?
They weren't this irresistible.
Josh Come on, I wanna dance.
That's not my fault.
You do things to me.
Five minutes.
Then we can go.
It's funny how Marina
rose to the challenge,
while Fizza totally let the side down.
That girl! After
everything I did for her,
she just threw it right back in my face.
Lying about me in front of everyone.
Between me and you, I think she's
got mental health issues of her own.
Sad, but what can you do?
- She didn't lie. You told me you had a drink.
- Only one.
And how many have you had tonight?
- So now you're judging me.
- Look, I'm not judging you.
You make out like you're so
progressive, and all you want
is a good little wife
you can put in a box
I don't care if you drink,
Asma. I care if you lie about it.
And now you're making stuff up
about Fizza. I'm not down with that.
'Cos you know best.
Of course you do. You're a man.
AUDIO MUFFLED AND DISTORTED
(MUSIC PLAYS: NEW TING BY STELLA MWANGI)
We're here, love.
Are you OK there?
Are you all right, love?
This is your acting head speaking.
And what an auspicious
start to the day it is
as we wish our girls' rugby
team the very best of British
in their match against
reigning champions St Mark's.
I'm sure you'll join
me in cheering them on,
especially our star
captain, Marina Dobson.
Marina, we know you've got this, pet.
And remember, folks, "If
you can't be an athlete,
be an athletic supporter."
It's from Grease.
Have a taste of me fig rolls, Ken.
They're extra fruity,
just how you like them.
THEY LAUGH
CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS
They're gonna eat us alive.
What are they doing?
See the captain over there?
I've got something
special lined up for her.
Wanna get off your phone for five
seconds? We need to talk tactics.
If we lose, it won't be because of me.
Ruki's the only other decent
player. And Spud can't even catch.
- Marina
- It's not my fault. Playing with you lot
is like dragging a dead
elephant round the pitch.
Can't play. I've been sick. Three times.
- Nerves.
- Classic.
Worse. Other end, an' all.
I'm contagious. I should go home.
You're scared. I get it.
It's easier to give up than
face the humiliation of losing.
But you're the captain, Marina.
How your team plays reflects on you,
whether you're on that pitch or not.
So get out there and lead by example.
Don't go causing trouble, Dad.
Who? Me? Come on.
There he is. There he is.
Come on, Ackley!
Yeah.
Come on, Ackley!
Go on, Fizza!
- Go on, girl.
- You came.
Yeah, well, you know me:
always up for a laugh.
Girls' rugby, that's got to
be a What d'you call it?
Oxymoron.
Hey! Don't be rude.
- Come on, Ackley!
- Let's go!
Urgh. Can somebody get her a towel?
LAUGHTER
WHISTLE
That's it, girls. Let's go!
Go on.
That's it, girls, keep going.
Yes, Chloe!
Marina!
Switch on!
What the hell is she playing at?
WHISTLE
And you said Spud can't catch.
CHEERING
Well done, Xanthe.
Well done!
Yes, Spud!
Go on, Ruki!
Foul, Ref! She deliberately tripped her.
- WHISTLE
- Half-time.
- She could have scored.
- Half-time.
Did you see that? It's not fair.
You're gonna have to come off.
Nah, I can still play.
Ow!
Hey You played like a champ, kid.
Let's get you an ice pack. I've got it.
- SHE WINCES
- Thanks.
Are they malnourished from all the
free school dinners or something?
LAUGHTER
We'll see how malnourished I
am when I smash your face in!
- Marina, don't.
- Come on! What are you waiting for?
Come on, get back, get back.
Where are you going?!
- They were asking for that.
- Are you trying to get us disqualified?
- Don't have a go at her, miss.
- They were well out of order.
There's only one way you're going
to teach girls like that a lesson,
and that's go out there and win.
But you have to work as a team.
Focus that rage.
- I'd have loved to see you land that punch.
- Don't encourage her.
Focus that rage.
Do your worst Poundshop Barbie.
- LAUGHTER
- She shouldn't have said that.
- What did she say?
- Poundshop.
- REFEREE: OK, ladies, crouch.
- Right, girls, come on.
- Five!
- Come on, girls!
Set. Steady.
Keep pushing!
Forward!
Push!
WHISTLE
- Well done, Spud.
- Penalty: Ackley Bridge.
CHEERING
Yes!
- Come on.
- Oh
Go on, Marina. Go on!
CHEERING
Yes, come on!
Girls.
What is she saying to 'em?
- Go on, Marina!
- I'm gonna pass it.
Go on, Spud. You can do it!
CHEERING
Go on, come on!
CHEERING
Yes!
It's your conversion, Marina, all right?
Come on, we can win this.
Come on.
CHEERING
Get in there!
We won! We won! Get in!
- Well done, girls. Well done!
- Yeah!
Yeah!
Yes, yes, yes!
- That were amazing.
- Spud, that final try!
I couldn't believe it. I really
thought they were gonna catch me.
Oh, it was so good.
We couldn't have done
it without you bro.
SHE LAUGHS
Guys I'm sorry
for what I said earlier.
- Should be.
- You all played brilliantly.
Who's up for a party at mine later?
Me.
ALL SHRIEK
Well, Miss Farooqi How about
I treat you to a Cluck Stop later?
Sure.
- KNOCK AT DOOR
- Hiya, star player.
Sorry about parents' evening.
I'm just really protective of my dad
So you thought you'd slander
me in front of the whole school?
- I didn't lie.
- Look, I know how hard things are for you, Fizza,
and I recognise a cry
for help when I see one.
But you can't just
make stuff up about me
just to get a reaction from your mum.
You were slurring and swaying.
I'd taken a cold remedy.
Ended up necking the
night dose by mistake.
Whatever you think
you saw you didn't.
Right.
CHEERING
Must be shaming, getting
beaten by Poundshop Barbie.
What are you gonna
tell your followers now?
Hey That was awesome.
I'm captain of the boys' rugger team.
That final conversion was outstanding.
Josh, by the way.
Marina.
Marina. Like a sailing holiday.
I don't know what made me say that.
I don't suppose you'd, erm
I'm having a party later tonight, if
if you fancy it.
And if you don't, I'll walk
away now, completely humiliated.
I'm out with my mates tonight.
Bring them with you.
OK.
OK.
Got you a drink.
Strawberry.
A fine vintage.
SHE LAUGHS
So what d'you fancy?
Probably just a chicken burger.
Can't let you do that. I'll order.
Er, I said I'll have a chicken burger.
SHE SHRIEKS
Oh, my God, Marina.
You've landed a millionaire!
SHE SHRIEKS
Oi, girls!
- DOORBELL
- I need a wee.
You'll just have to hold it.
- Are my eyelashes coming off?
- No.
ALL: Hi.
- Hi.
- Time to get this place rocking, kid. Got any ice?
Marina. Hi. Sorry, I
I will try and sound a bit
less like a five-year-old.
Come in. Come in.
Welcome to my house.
(MUSIC PLAYS: SIREN SONG
BY THE TRIBE OF GOOD)
This party needs better tunes.
Are they royalty, bro?
She obviously don't recognise me
when I'm not whipping her backside.
JOSH LAUGHS
It's your nemesis, Xanthe. Remember?
(MUSIC PLAYS: FATTE CHAK BY ANGREJ ALI)
That's more like it.
Back in a minute.
WHOOPING
THEY LAUGH
You outright told her
I wasn't interested?
You used those words?
Why would you do that?
Jealous?
You're pretty much the only
real friend I've got, Chlo.
Don't know why. I don't deserve you.
I figured if you two got together
and you finally got to hang
out with someone half-decent,
I'd never see you again.
Come here, you twerp.
I'm going nowhere.
But I could kill you.
I'm gonna sort this.
I know I'm a bitch. But she isn't.
Why didn't you tell me what she said?
I could have put it right in seconds.
It's not just that. It's
the way you are with her.
You never stand up to her.
Whoo!
This place is amazing.
Do you want a tour?
Do you wake up every day and
think, "Oh, my God, I live here"?
It's easy to take stuff for granted.
Although I can't imagine
ever feeling that way about you.
What's through there?
Whoo!
ALL WHOOP
Whoo!
You're magnificent.
What?
You. Magnificent.
Thanks.
Wow.
- Do you ever put that phone away?
- CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS
I like things that look nice.
Well, no wonder you're
always taking selfies, then.
Here.
CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS
HE LAUGHS
Beautiful.
You really are incredible.
This is all so perfect.
YOU'RE so perfect.
This popcorn chicken is the best.
You sure you don't want the burger?
Just admit I was right.
Even a stopped clock tells
the right time twice a day.
I need a piss. Don't eat
all the popcorn chicken.
HE SNIFFS
It cost a fortune!
God, you got an Uber
all the way from London?
Did your mum go mad?
Not as mad as when I
sent everyone in school
a photo of her topless.
You're pure evil.
PHONE RINGS
Is that your dad?
He'll keep.
This table is gorgeous.
I did not bring you here to
talk about interior design
Hotgirl2004.
It's not a secret, is it?
Hey, don't worry. I liked what I saw.
Can we go back to the party?
I would much rather be here with you.
Has no-one ever told you no before?
They weren't this irresistible.
Josh Come on, I wanna dance.
That's not my fault.
You do things to me.
Five minutes.
Then we can go.
It's funny how Marina
rose to the challenge,
while Fizza totally let the side down.
That girl! After
everything I did for her,
she just threw it right back in my face.
Lying about me in front of everyone.
Between me and you, I think she's
got mental health issues of her own.
Sad, but what can you do?
- She didn't lie. You told me you had a drink.
- Only one.
And how many have you had tonight?
- So now you're judging me.
- Look, I'm not judging you.
You make out like you're so
progressive, and all you want
is a good little wife
you can put in a box
I don't care if you drink,
Asma. I care if you lie about it.
And now you're making stuff up
about Fizza. I'm not down with that.
'Cos you know best.
Of course you do. You're a man.
AUDIO MUFFLED AND DISTORTED
(MUSIC PLAYS: NEW TING BY STELLA MWANGI)
We're here, love.
Are you OK there?
Are you all right, love?