Arrested Development s05e07 Episode Script
Rom-Traum
1 [Ron Howard.]
Michael and the family attorney -were visiting Buster in jail.
-I take it Mother's not coming.
-Mom? No.
She couldn't make it.
-Why is that? She said that I could make up whatever reason I want.
You tell me what is easiest on you.
Hmm, no, it's too mean.
I think you're entitled, Buster.
She hates you, Michael.
-We'll use that one.
Sure.
-Mothers cannot accept the idea that they've raised someone who could do something so vile.
-What? -In my case, twice.
Well, two times, allegedly.
Hey.
This falls under client-attorney privilege, right? [moans.]
Mother's disgusted by me.
-No.
-She thinks I didn't just tamper with the evidence, she thinks I tampered with Lucille 2.
-No, no, no.
-She must think I'm guilty of murder.
-Don't say that.
-Or she's busy frolicking on the beach with Dusty, -her trophy son.
-I should never have put that image in your mind.
The good news is, you thought I said "frolicking.
" [Michael.]
I don't think it's that.
She knows more than she's letting on.
Like where Lucille 2 actually is.
Think about it.
She made a deal with her.
Or maybe she just tricked her to leave town.
I don't know, but there is something going on, and she needs to let that play out, even if you need to stay in prison a little while.
-[clangs.]
-[guard.]
No pounding! She holds the keys to my freedom, and she won't use it until she gets her selfish needs met.
Like when she used to lock me in the bathroom for grown-up selfish needs night.
-Oh, did we have a good time.
-What? -No, it ended in tears.
-Guys, hey, let's focus.
I'm wondering if there is a way we can get Mom to think that the DA is onto whatever her scheme is, like, we tell Mom that the DA knows where there is some evidence, and then, Mom or Dad slip out and try to get rid of it.
And then I follow them.
What evidence should we say they have, Michael? Lucille 2's head in a box? -Spooky.
-Well, no.
Hang on.
That's-- It's gotta be real.
Okay, so, if it's gotta be real, how about the DA is close to locating the stair car that she was last seen on, because they have a picture of it from a security cam -or traffic light cam? -That's getting there.
Okay, now inside the stair car are two heads.
One bald, one spiky.
-Spooky.
-No.
I loved it, all the way up till the end.
I think stair car's plenty.
-Okay.
-[Michael.]
Why don't I have the family gather at the beach cottage about 3:00? You call me.
You tell me you found out they've got the stair car evidence, and I wait for either Mom or Dad to make their next move.
Any questions? What's the beach cottage? I found out, Buster.
-Oh.
-[exhales.]
What a relief.
-Yeah.
-I almost said "the cottage.
" I changed it to "[bleep.]
ing on the beach.
" -It's "frolicking.
" -"Frolicking.
" [Ron.]
Now, the story of a wealthy family who lost everything, and the one son who had no choice but to keep them all together.
It's Arrested Development.
Michael group-texted his family to meet at the cottage, but accidentally included -Gangee's renting this place? -his son.
No, this is her place.
It's been in the family forever.
They never told either of us, huh? -Oh.
-Says "Maeby" here.
What? How dare they keep track of my height while not telling me? Mm-hmm.
So, how did it go with Rebel's family? You guys seem really buddy-buddy on Instagram.
I also saw that that hair thing backfired, huh? Yeah, it was great.
I mean, they're just such a nice I don't want to use "family," 'cause they like each other, but they're a nice group of people.
I think I really like her.
Isn't it still weird with your dad? Well, maybe that was just me.
I'm worried she might have been seeing her ex all summer.
-Your dad? -No, no.
On the movie set, down in Mexico.
Didn't your dad say he was down in Mexico, too? [inhales.]
-They shoot a lot of things there.
-Mm-hmm.
It was fun.
I'm not gonna see her for the next few days, 'cause she's going to Mexico for reshoots.
Reshoots? Oof.
She must not be a very good actress, huh? [chuckles.]
Hope she gets it right this time.
Well, she's not perfect, but, uh, it doesn't turn my stomach to see her eat an ice cream cone.
Speaking of that, how are things with Stan? Did he finish that ice cream cone after I looked away? I don't know.
I threw away all the ice cream.
But, not to make you jealous, turns out we are dating.
For some reason, he wants to wait till after the election to be what he likes to call "intimate.
" [Ron.]
In fact, Stan was waiting so there would be no scandal You gotta try this new eyebrow glue.
You can eat soup again.
especially once his daughter joined the race.
Have you thought about what I asked? You have to run for office.
You said we couldn't risk it, with [quietly.]
with Lucille 2 missing.
That's the best part.
She's gone.
I'm dating this woman who's a gossip hound.
Somehow, she got intel that Lindsay Bluth has skipped town.
-But the Bluths are running her anyway.
-Oh.
It would be nice to oppose Lindsay's sudden interest in building this awful border wall.
Which was my idea.
[scoffs.]
I have to say, Dad, I'm surprised you're taking such an interest in this race.
If you tried the new eyebrow glue, you could look surprised, too.
[George Michael.]
He expects sex after the election? What are you gonna do? That's in two days.
I know.
I mean, I can't let the guy see me naked, 'cause, not to brag, but, you know, there's not a lot of 75-year-old women who got a body like this.
-You know? -I don't think that's bragging.
Wow.
Well, I guess you are jealous, huh? [Michael.]
I'm waiting to hear from Barry, so I don't have too much new information.
Uh, Barry's probably trying to mitigate the damage you caused by taunting Buster with a skinhead.
[Michael.]
Okay, you gotta blame Buster for that.
Say what you will about Ron Howard as a filmmaker, but the man is not a Nazi sympathizer.
-[Ron.]
Thanks.
-[Gob.]
I've heard things about what's really going on in that Grinch movie he made.
You know, that anti-Christmas thing, with the Who-ish people? I don't know what you want me to say.
I offered to talk to the DA.
You shot that down.
Lottie-Dottie-DA? Oh, she's a shark, Michael.
I don't want you swimming anywhere near her.
Especially after you tried to drown yourself in the bay the other day.
We're sticking with that, huh? Mom, if you're not gonna bail out Buster, -you can visit.
-[Lucille.]
And risk having a story come out that I went to a prison to visit my son before the election? That would be bad for Lindsay's campaign.
So the plan is to run her, even though she's not here? -[Lucille.]
Yes.
-Got it.
Especially now that Sally's in the race.
Tobias better find Lindsay before the 4th of July parade, which is on the 2nd.
-The 4th of July parade is on the 2nd? -Mm.
Yes.
They moved it because they don't want the Hispanics to get even by using up all the supplies a day early like we do with Cinco.
Yeah, and good luck using the 4th of July fireworks on the 3rd, because we will have done it on the 2nd.
By the way, guys, as far as the Bluth company float goes, I bet you guys are thinking, uh, will he, won't he? -"Willy Wondy?" -Who's Willy Wondy? "Will he, won't he" do magic on our float.
-Won't he.
-Tony? -Did you say Tony? -Won't he.
Wonder.
What? Why are you trying to say "Tony Wonder"? -No one's saying Tony-- -Stay out of it! Why are you saying Tony Wonder? Is he doing a trick? No one's saying that -or asking anything.
-[Gob.]
Good.
Let's keep it that way.
Anyway, you're probably saying or wondering-- Now I'm doing it.
[laughs.]
why I won't be doing a magic show on our float.
And the answer is: because I've been asked to do so on another float.
A great company, Laguna Closet Conversions.
Know those guys? It's not what you think.
They, like, convert closets to, like, organize and stuff.
Who would think anything different? [Ron.]
This geo-bead would.
So, what do we have to do to get you into a closet, huh? Wow, you guys don't mince words, huh? [Ron.]
After realizing his friendship with Tony Wonder was over [Tony, over phone.]
I don't think we can hang out.
[Ron.]
Gob, desperate to push his feelings back into the closet, decided conversion therapy was the only answer.
-We're different.
-[Ron.]
Although, it's worth noting he didn't do a lot of research.
[salesman.]
Plus, it's great for your resale value.
How's your resale value now? [Ron.]
Gob didn't want to let on that he didn't know what "resale value" was gay slang for.
I've never had any complaints.
Let's talk about you.
The more we know about you, the happier you're gonna be with your results.
I love Tony Wonder.
I guess you want the details.
[chuckles.]
-Anyway, it's -[Ron.]
Gob told the closet salesmen all about his night with Tony, and how devastated he was by being ghosted.
Michael walked in, I had to waste my roofie But he doesn't remember Him, with my I guess that's how we're different, in the same way.
We should put him in the Catalina cedar walk-in with the pocket doors and the floor lighting.
[Ron.]
And that's when Gob realized his mistake.
But keep in mind, we edited, like, an hour out of this.
What are the confidentiality laws concerning people who walk into a closet store? [Gob.]
They're kind of sane and, you know, they just, they listen, they're good-- and they work for us 'cause I bought the company.
-Ah.
Oh.
-[phone buzzing.]
Hang on, this might be him.
It is.
-Barry.
-[Barry.]
Michael, I'm calling you, I've got new info.
It can be whatever you want to say, I'm saying.
I understand, so you are saying I'm not saying anything.
-I didn't think I had to.
-I see.
-What does that mean, "discovered"? -Oh, they're listening, right? If they're listening, just say "dogshit.
" Mm.
What you said, I would repeat, but the family is here, and I want to make sure -that I don't get it wrong.
-Get it wrong? -Say "dogshit.
" -Apparently, they know where the stair car is, and they might even know where Lucille 2 is, which means they will talk to her, and we'll get all this sorted out.
-Did I get that right? -Well, with two heads in it.
One spiky one and one bald one.
No, that's plenty.
-Thank you.
Good job, Barry.
-Know what's funny? In the 30 years that I've represented this family, that is the first time anyone has said "good j--" -[phone beeps.]
-Well, listen.
If that's all true, they might be closer to figuring this out than we thought.
[Ron.]
And now, Michael had to just sit back and wait for something out of the ordinary to happen.
I'm gonna take off.
And I'll check back on you later and we can, uh Um, can I speak to you privately for a moment? Oh.
Yeah? You need to speak privately? Oh, it's just so mundane.
I don't want to bore everyone.
-It's just so mundane.
-I'll get out of your hair.
[Ron.]
And Michael went to stake out the parking lot.
-Hey, Dad.
Wait.
You're leaving? -[Michael.]
Hey.
You never even said hello.
-Yeah, I just -Or good-bye.
-Thank you for coming out.
-I was glad to come out because I have some good news.
Um, do you still need that 50 grand for Buster's bail? Because I can get that from the business.
No.
No, no, no, no.
I told you I'm not gonna be taking your money.
And it's 75 grand that I'm not gonna be taking because the bail went up.
Buster tried to strangle a, uh Well, he technically did strangle a skinhead.
-Very cool.
-I guess, in a way.
Now that we're talking about money, I want to tell you, I couldn't be more proud of what you've been able to do with the Fakeblock thing.
But with this kind of success, it puts a target on your back.
People are gonna think, "Here comes the next Steve Gobs.
" -They're gonna want -Jobs.
Jobs, for sure, but they're also gonna want money.
And don't be throwing it away.
Not just to family.
Be careful with friends, too.
New friends, a girlfriend that might be trying to slow things down.
Isn't that what you-- Isn't that how you described it? -With Rebel? -Huh? Yeah.
She just works a lot.
She's in Mexico right now.
But we're better than ever.
Actually, that money that I mentioned? That was from Rebel.
You know, to be a friend and support me.
Oh, boy.
There's some of that Hollywood BS.
There it is.
Right there.
That's how they use people.
That's the culture there, and I want to make sure you don't give too much away.
Don't change yourself.
You don't change your look to be a part of the gang.
You talking about my hair? Why'd you dye your hair? Come on.
[Ron.]
George Michael couldn't tell his father that he'd attempted to dye his hair pink -to push Rebel away.
-Um Yeah, I guess, you know, so-- so Rebel would think that I was cool.
-I see.
-[George Sr.
.]
Look at this.
Three generations of Bluths in one place.
Anybody have a camera? -On my phone.
-Yes, sir.
Oh, no.
It's a figure of speech.
I gotta run.
Where you off to, Dad? I could run some errands.
-Need a hop on? -No, thanks.
Personal business.
Heading northward.
Okay.
I'm actually complete opposite direction.
Where you heading, Dad? Uh, west.
Well, I'll hang out with you at the, uh, beach.
Oh, uh No.
Why did I say west? East is where I'm going.
Northeast.
Northeast, actually.
I'm going up to Search campus.
I love the idea of you going to the beach.
Do that.
Make sure it doesn't turn your hair red again.
And, Dad Well, he's gone.
Okay, I gotta go.
How'd you know I had red hair? -Did you see it on Instagram? -Yes.
I did.
I did.
I did.
I just didn't want to embarrass you.
Showed up on my e-mail this morning.
So you use Instagram? Mm-mm.
No, no.
Your uncle showed it to me.
You know me.
I'm a 20th-century guy.
You can keep that futuristic stuff.
Okay? Okay.
Prismo.
-Begin.
-[car chimes.]
User, Michael Bluth.
Lost my keys.
Okay, Prismo, reverse.
[automated voice.]
I will.
And how was -[Michael's voice.]
Mom's fucking cottage -[automated voice.]
with Gob.
[Ron.]
And so, a suspicious Michael took off after his father -[George Michael.]
He was there.
-[Ron.]
while his own son [George Michael.]
Where are you going? [Ron.]
found himself feeling suspicious as well.
And Barry showed up at the cottage to make sure the scheme had worked.
You are here.
Why was Michael -so stingy with the dogshit? -What are you doing here? Was Michael lying about talking to you on the phone just now? Oh, no.
That was me.
I just wanted to see how Michael was enjoying -knowing about the cottage.
-You want to know if we fell for Michael's and your little trap.
It was a trap, wasn't it? [chuckles.]
You're wrong.
Why would I do that? Because he paid your bail and threatened to make trouble if you didn't play along.
You're right.
I knew it.
The DA has a picture of the stair car? Like Lucille 2 would be stupid enough to disappear in a truck with her name on it? -What kind of lie is that? -I totally agree with you.
A good lie is head in a box, but they wanted to go with something real, so we went with the evidence they actually had.
This is real? Yeah, and he doesn't want to use the best part, the two heads.
One spiky, one bald.
Lucille 2 and Oscar.
That idiot.
I told him to keep her out of sight.
Speaking of out of sight, do you know where your husband is with that Winnebago? Because since I got out of prison, George is letting me stay there, without him knowing it.
-I don't know where he went.
-Hmm.
Maybe he went to find Oscar, warn him about the picture.
You think he really did? I think the prosecution gave us this picture so that George or you would lead them to Lucille 2.
Go find him.
Track him down.
Get to him before he finds Lucille 2.
I will not let that woman steal everything I've taken from her.
[Ron.]
George Sr.
turned south on Coast Highway, unaware he was being followed by Michael, unaware he was being followed by George Michael.
[cell phone buzzing.]
[cell phone continues buzzing.]
-[George Michael.]
Maeby? Hello? -I think my phone's ringing.
[George Michael.]
Maeby.
Hello? Come on.
Hello? -Hello? -It's me.
I know you're not old.
Can we have a system where I don't have to wait the 40 seconds? Look, I have to be careful, okay? These are not tech-savvy people.
The other day, I turned the lounge TV on, and now that's my job.
They call me "Buttons" now.
Buttons.
-He's going to meet Rebel.
-Who? Your dad? I think you were right.
They were together in Mexico, and that's why my dad has been weird with me.
Wow, I was just "specu-lying.
" Well, you nailed it, Buttons.
And he probably made plans to see her this time in Mexico when I said my relationship was slowing down.
You know, it's hard to believe because my niece always told me never to give away my Social Security number, but if it really is a free trip to Aruba Oh, you have to go, Buttons.
Sign me up! [Maeby.]
Peg's walking by.
[George Michael.]
No, you have to.
He lied about being at the Howard barbecue.
He was there.
Wow, and I thought my parents were the selfish ones.
At least my mom never tried to sleep with somebody I was da-- Oh, wait.
No.
Steve Holt.
Uh, but he's family.
We've got to stop the lying in this family.
Tell me about it.
You tell one little story to get a place to live.
Next thing you know, you're sorting through your roommate's pills to figure out which one will kill his sex drive.
-Like estrogen? -Wait, that's a thing? I mean, I was just day plotting.
Stop right there.
The minute you start talking about neutering your romantic partner, you're into shit that even Gangee wouldn't do.
The monster or the grandmother? The monster.
But, yeah, I don't think our grandmother would do that.
Yeah, maybe it is too far.
I guess I can just pretend like I have an illness where I forget everything.
Like Alzheimer's? That's a thing, too? I was just crime-storming.
You know, just lying out loud.
How funny.
[Ron.]
Gob was having trouble forgetting someone himself.
Okay? Now you're gonna be in the closet [Ron.]
Which was why he was distracted as the closet guys helped him with his parade float illusion.
Sorry.
I'm still really torn up about this love affair with Tony, which, if you guys mention, you're fired.
[salesman.]
We can't change your feelings, okay? But we can change whether Tony is in your life.
After you left, we got to talking about you, and You're a magician, he's a magician Go double magician.
Two guys, one trick.
Do an act together.
God.
Why are all the cute ones so dumb? Look, guys, this is not that hard.
I am pretending to be a Christian magician.
Tony's pretending to be a gay magician.
We're like oil and vinegar.
What trick is gonna have room for both? Yes, everyone could be smarter, that's true, but what we meant was that we could book you and Tony to do a trick on our float.
Yeah.
A classic two-fister.
An old-fashioned will he, won't he? We're just gonna need the perfect trick.
We're wasting daylight.
Let's do this.
[workers laugh.]
What did we decide on? Sorry, I [Ron.]
And soon, George Sr.
arrived at the border [cell phone rings.]
-Hello? -[Michael.]
Hey, Dad.
[Ron.]
two cars ahead of Michael.
I thought I'd give you a call, see how the drive -north is going.
-Oh, it's fine.
I took Highway 5, so there's, you know, no view, but there's no traffic.
[Michael.]
What's the bell? Oh, there's this Salvation Army Santa Claus guy who's just going from car to car here.
Ice cream? [George Sr.
.]
Stop screaming and get off the highway! Oh, there's an Andersen's Pea Soup, -so I think I'm gonna buy him soup.
-[line beeping.]
[Michael.]
That's George Michael.
I gotta go.
I hope that I'm half the father to him that you are to me.
You're embarrassing me.
-Thank you.
-You should be.
George Michael.
[George Michael.]
Hey, where are you? [Michael.]
I'm approaching, uh, Andersen's Pea Soup.
Oh, that's north.
You said you were going northeast.
[stammering.]
Well, I'm headed north, then I'm headed east.
Otherwise you don't pass the Andersen's P.
S.
Oh, right.
[Ron.]
Michael felt doubly guilty for not just telling a lie, but stealing one.
-What's that bell? -[Michael.]
That's, uh, we got a Danish girl ringing a bell -in front of, uh, A's Pea Soup.
-[man.]
Ice cream? Ice cream? What's that about ice cream? [Michael.]
No, thank you.
Uh, nein, danke.
Big boy, I gotta go.
Okay? -I'll talk to you later.
-Love you.
[Ron.]
They made their way through the border crossing.
[guard.]
Next one.
[Barry.]
Oh.
He's going to Father B's.
[Ron.]
Which, to Barry, could only mean one thing.
I have time for an ice cream.
-Ice cream! -[Ron.]
In fact, George Sr.
was returning to property he used as a motivational retreat called Father B's for the first time in months.
And, unseen, Michael snuck into his blind spot.
Of course this is where they'd hide Lucille 2.
[George Sr.
sniffles.]
-Mm.
-[Michael.]
Hey.
How'd Santa like his pea soup? Michael, uh What are you doing here? [Michael.]
Figuring out why you lied about where you were going.
I didn't want you to know.
I was embarrassed.
I would've been embarrassed if I was making Buster rot in prison, while I was hiding Lucille down in Mexico.
Hiding Lucille? What are you talking about? I set you up.
I told you that the DA found the stair car.
You took the bait and you had that private conversation with Mom.
She said to you, "Make sure Lucille 2 stays hidden.
" Did she not say that? -Tell me she didn't.
-[Ron.]
She didn't.
-It's so mundane.
-Let me get out of your hair.
[Ron.]
Lucille had something else on her mind.
I know you said you wanted to check in on me, and I have plans with Dusty, and I didn't want you to find us together and get your feelings hurt tonight.
So you want to hurt my feelings now instead? -To get it out of the way.
-Is that it, or are you afraid -I'll tear him in two? -Hey.
If you could tear anything in two, you'd still have a shot at me.
Okay, you want to see a real man, you're going to.
I know.
I just didn't want you to see me with him.
[quietly.]
Don't cry.
-[sobbing.]
-[Michael.]
Then, what are you doing down here? This is where the curse began.
This is where that guy turned me into Oscar, and Oscar -into me.
-Mm.
[Ron.]
Years earlier, when Oscar introduced George Sr.
to maca [man.]
The strong will become the weak, the weak will become the strong.
the brothers had an ominous vision.
Probably so they can build a border wall.
They want to separate [Ron.]
Which is what Lindsay's boyfriend wanted them to think.
You don't believe that maca does all this crap, do you? [man, echoing.]
George! -[George Sr.
.]
You see that? -[man.]
I have something for you! [George Sr.
.]
Great spirit, that's why I'm here! My son doesn't believe.
Please, take his strength, and give it to me! -[Michael.]
Take it easy.
-[Tobias.]
No, it's me, Tobias.
Fünke.
I'm still legally recognized as your son-in-law.
-Why are you dressed like that? -Humorous anecdote.
[grunting.]
Oh.
Ugh Come One Here-- here it comes.
[grunting, mumbling.]
[Ron.]
Well, maybe I'll jump in here.
After being kicked off Father B's land, the men finally found their way to Marky Bark's trailer.
It was worth it.
Now you know how to do a proper spit take.
Now, if Lindsay's here, let me do the talking.
Hello? -[Ma Bark.]
No water.
-Oh, uh, we're looking for Lindsay.
Lindsay? That dumb blonde slut my moron son keeps calling every five minutes since she came back on Cinco de Mayo? Yes, yes, my wife.
-Nice girl, but you just missed her.
-[Tobias.]
Oh.
Well, uh, could we wait here until she gets back? Normally, I would say no, but the ostriches have been making a hell of a mess this past year.
How's your gag reflex? Well, if you mean is my son anything like his father, well, he's never had any complaints.
[Ron.]
And Tobias explained what happened next.
[Tobias grunts.]
I I got it-- hey, hey-- I One [Ron.]
Okay, well, so Tobias, also, was given a job.
The mail's been piling up.
You can start at Father B's.
Oh, no, no, I can't go there.
[chuckles.]
They held me up at gunpoint, so you'll understand if I pass on going back.
If you're that worried, you can wear the ostrich suit.
Mark always did.
Oh, fun.
If you pass out, it keeps buzzards off your eyes.
[laughs.]
Double fun! Tuna fish sandwich.
So, I got a job delivering mail for the day.
Yes, I suppose I could've told you that from up there, but I am glad to see you, uh, 'cause your mail certainly has been piling up.
And this is my last delivery, so I get to put on my human clothes.
Adios, muchachos.
[George Sr.
.]
Oh, my Viagra.
See, and this used to work.
Since when is Viagra pink? Your mom says that the Medicare only does the generic.
You know, this is estrogen.
-Really? -How long you been taking that? Uh, two years.
Two years.
Isn't that about the time that Mom was in jail and started, uh -Forwarding my mail.
-Yeah.
Why do you think she did that? Maybe she figured that if she was gonna do hard time, I should do Soft time.
Yeah.
But that doesn't explain Oscar.
He has my mojo, and all he eats is maca.
And, actually, it's this particular maca that grows all over this gully.
-[Michael.]
Down the hill from that.
-Yeah.
It's from when I was running the executive training camp.
Boy, talk about guys high on testosterone.
I wish I could get some of what they were on.
Yeah.
Sounds like Oscar has.
Coincidence? [Ron.]
Having kept a safe distance, George Michael soon arrived at Father B's ranch.
How is the Pea Soup Andersen's pea soup, Dad? [Ron.]
Assuming his father was inside the Winnebago with Rebel, he rang her to catch her off guard when he made his move.
-Hey, where are you? -[Rebel.]
In Culver City.
-I thought you were in Mexico.
-No, my character's in Mexico.
-I'm in Culver City.
-Oh.
-I'm on set.
-I see.
All right, well, then, I guess all that's left to say is lights, camera, action! Always so lovely to hear your voice.
[Ron.]
George Michael knew he had made a horrible mistake, and knew he had to get out of there before anyone saw him.
But he couldn't get to his car unseen now that Barry had arrived.
With the coast clear, George Michael made for an exit to avoid running into his father [George Sr.
.]
I can't believe you're suspicious.
who was behind him.
You have to trust me.
I don't know where Lucille 2 is.
-[engine starts.]
-[Michael.]
Dad, trust is a two-way street.
Okay? That's Lucille 2's car.
I swear to you, I didn't know she was here.
I-- You're probably not impotent, either.
-We should be following her.
-Get in the Anustart, and I'll follow.
Go.
Follow Lucille 2.
If we get her, Buster goes free.
[Tobias.]
Ooh, triple fun.
[Ron.]
And so, Michael rushed after Lucille 2's Cadillac with Tobias at the wheel, which only made his son more desperate to lose his father.
Yet, none of them saw the spike strips.
[tires popping.]
[moans.]
-[tires popping.]
-Oh! [tires screeching.]
[grunts.]
I'm okay.
The bathroom doesn't work back here, so I peed in a Wetzel bag.
What are you doing here? I live here.
[Ron.]
And the family that was chasing itself for no reason soon had a reason to stop.
-George Michael? What are you doing? -Uh Three, four, five, six, seven, eight flat tires? -Yeah.
-Who do we sue? You, until we find out who put down the spike strips.
That would be us! Hyah! Ãndale.
Oh.
Hi.
[man.]
We're sorry about the spike strips, but we can't always personally patrol our land.
Your land? This is Bluth land.
This has been Romney land since my great-grandfather settled here.
Along with our 18 great-grandmothers.
-[George Sr.
.]
Romney land? -[Michael.]
Like Mitt Romney? Yes, we are the Mexican Romneys.
[neighing.]
- Mexican Romney Family -[whip cracks.]
Although, we used to have better signs.
[Ron.]
Until, as it turns out, Oscar and his friends discovered how cold Mexico was at night.
This is America.
If they don't want us to burn signs, they shouldn't write them in Spanish.
And besides, George Bluth signed it over to us.
-Oscar.
-That's a bit much.
That's very nice.
I wouldn't say I deserved an Oscar, but -[chuckles.]
-Hold on.
I'm George Bluth.
I never signed anything like that.
Now perhaps, before I rediscovered my manhood in the gully, I would've caved, but not now.
I am gonna fight you for the land.
[guns clicking.]
Where's a pen? [Ron.]
On the next Arrested Development [Ron.]
Gob and his new conversion buddies labor to design the perfect trick.
Don't tell me not to live Just sit and putter Then, we have the other one, like he said.
Gay equals straight.
To rain on my parade I need two closets! Two guys coming out of the closet! How hard is that to understand? You've got two-- Thank you, you're a dear.
One is gonna be well-organized.
The other one is just gonna be shredded all apart.
Yeah, that's good, that's good.
Bam! It's garbage! -It's all garbage! - Here I am!
Michael and the family attorney -were visiting Buster in jail.
-I take it Mother's not coming.
-Mom? No.
She couldn't make it.
-Why is that? She said that I could make up whatever reason I want.
You tell me what is easiest on you.
Hmm, no, it's too mean.
I think you're entitled, Buster.
She hates you, Michael.
-We'll use that one.
Sure.
-Mothers cannot accept the idea that they've raised someone who could do something so vile.
-What? -In my case, twice.
Well, two times, allegedly.
Hey.
This falls under client-attorney privilege, right? [moans.]
Mother's disgusted by me.
-No.
-She thinks I didn't just tamper with the evidence, she thinks I tampered with Lucille 2.
-No, no, no.
-She must think I'm guilty of murder.
-Don't say that.
-Or she's busy frolicking on the beach with Dusty, -her trophy son.
-I should never have put that image in your mind.
The good news is, you thought I said "frolicking.
" [Michael.]
I don't think it's that.
She knows more than she's letting on.
Like where Lucille 2 actually is.
Think about it.
She made a deal with her.
Or maybe she just tricked her to leave town.
I don't know, but there is something going on, and she needs to let that play out, even if you need to stay in prison a little while.
-[clangs.]
-[guard.]
No pounding! She holds the keys to my freedom, and she won't use it until she gets her selfish needs met.
Like when she used to lock me in the bathroom for grown-up selfish needs night.
-Oh, did we have a good time.
-What? -No, it ended in tears.
-Guys, hey, let's focus.
I'm wondering if there is a way we can get Mom to think that the DA is onto whatever her scheme is, like, we tell Mom that the DA knows where there is some evidence, and then, Mom or Dad slip out and try to get rid of it.
And then I follow them.
What evidence should we say they have, Michael? Lucille 2's head in a box? -Spooky.
-Well, no.
Hang on.
That's-- It's gotta be real.
Okay, so, if it's gotta be real, how about the DA is close to locating the stair car that she was last seen on, because they have a picture of it from a security cam -or traffic light cam? -That's getting there.
Okay, now inside the stair car are two heads.
One bald, one spiky.
-Spooky.
-No.
I loved it, all the way up till the end.
I think stair car's plenty.
-Okay.
-[Michael.]
Why don't I have the family gather at the beach cottage about 3:00? You call me.
You tell me you found out they've got the stair car evidence, and I wait for either Mom or Dad to make their next move.
Any questions? What's the beach cottage? I found out, Buster.
-Oh.
-[exhales.]
What a relief.
-Yeah.
-I almost said "the cottage.
" I changed it to "[bleep.]
ing on the beach.
" -It's "frolicking.
" -"Frolicking.
" [Ron.]
Now, the story of a wealthy family who lost everything, and the one son who had no choice but to keep them all together.
It's Arrested Development.
Michael group-texted his family to meet at the cottage, but accidentally included -Gangee's renting this place? -his son.
No, this is her place.
It's been in the family forever.
They never told either of us, huh? -Oh.
-Says "Maeby" here.
What? How dare they keep track of my height while not telling me? Mm-hmm.
So, how did it go with Rebel's family? You guys seem really buddy-buddy on Instagram.
I also saw that that hair thing backfired, huh? Yeah, it was great.
I mean, they're just such a nice I don't want to use "family," 'cause they like each other, but they're a nice group of people.
I think I really like her.
Isn't it still weird with your dad? Well, maybe that was just me.
I'm worried she might have been seeing her ex all summer.
-Your dad? -No, no.
On the movie set, down in Mexico.
Didn't your dad say he was down in Mexico, too? [inhales.]
-They shoot a lot of things there.
-Mm-hmm.
It was fun.
I'm not gonna see her for the next few days, 'cause she's going to Mexico for reshoots.
Reshoots? Oof.
She must not be a very good actress, huh? [chuckles.]
Hope she gets it right this time.
Well, she's not perfect, but, uh, it doesn't turn my stomach to see her eat an ice cream cone.
Speaking of that, how are things with Stan? Did he finish that ice cream cone after I looked away? I don't know.
I threw away all the ice cream.
But, not to make you jealous, turns out we are dating.
For some reason, he wants to wait till after the election to be what he likes to call "intimate.
" [Ron.]
In fact, Stan was waiting so there would be no scandal You gotta try this new eyebrow glue.
You can eat soup again.
especially once his daughter joined the race.
Have you thought about what I asked? You have to run for office.
You said we couldn't risk it, with [quietly.]
with Lucille 2 missing.
That's the best part.
She's gone.
I'm dating this woman who's a gossip hound.
Somehow, she got intel that Lindsay Bluth has skipped town.
-But the Bluths are running her anyway.
-Oh.
It would be nice to oppose Lindsay's sudden interest in building this awful border wall.
Which was my idea.
[scoffs.]
I have to say, Dad, I'm surprised you're taking such an interest in this race.
If you tried the new eyebrow glue, you could look surprised, too.
[George Michael.]
He expects sex after the election? What are you gonna do? That's in two days.
I know.
I mean, I can't let the guy see me naked, 'cause, not to brag, but, you know, there's not a lot of 75-year-old women who got a body like this.
-You know? -I don't think that's bragging.
Wow.
Well, I guess you are jealous, huh? [Michael.]
I'm waiting to hear from Barry, so I don't have too much new information.
Uh, Barry's probably trying to mitigate the damage you caused by taunting Buster with a skinhead.
[Michael.]
Okay, you gotta blame Buster for that.
Say what you will about Ron Howard as a filmmaker, but the man is not a Nazi sympathizer.
-[Ron.]
Thanks.
-[Gob.]
I've heard things about what's really going on in that Grinch movie he made.
You know, that anti-Christmas thing, with the Who-ish people? I don't know what you want me to say.
I offered to talk to the DA.
You shot that down.
Lottie-Dottie-DA? Oh, she's a shark, Michael.
I don't want you swimming anywhere near her.
Especially after you tried to drown yourself in the bay the other day.
We're sticking with that, huh? Mom, if you're not gonna bail out Buster, -you can visit.
-[Lucille.]
And risk having a story come out that I went to a prison to visit my son before the election? That would be bad for Lindsay's campaign.
So the plan is to run her, even though she's not here? -[Lucille.]
Yes.
-Got it.
Especially now that Sally's in the race.
Tobias better find Lindsay before the 4th of July parade, which is on the 2nd.
-The 4th of July parade is on the 2nd? -Mm.
Yes.
They moved it because they don't want the Hispanics to get even by using up all the supplies a day early like we do with Cinco.
Yeah, and good luck using the 4th of July fireworks on the 3rd, because we will have done it on the 2nd.
By the way, guys, as far as the Bluth company float goes, I bet you guys are thinking, uh, will he, won't he? -"Willy Wondy?" -Who's Willy Wondy? "Will he, won't he" do magic on our float.
-Won't he.
-Tony? -Did you say Tony? -Won't he.
Wonder.
What? Why are you trying to say "Tony Wonder"? -No one's saying Tony-- -Stay out of it! Why are you saying Tony Wonder? Is he doing a trick? No one's saying that -or asking anything.
-[Gob.]
Good.
Let's keep it that way.
Anyway, you're probably saying or wondering-- Now I'm doing it.
[laughs.]
why I won't be doing a magic show on our float.
And the answer is: because I've been asked to do so on another float.
A great company, Laguna Closet Conversions.
Know those guys? It's not what you think.
They, like, convert closets to, like, organize and stuff.
Who would think anything different? [Ron.]
This geo-bead would.
So, what do we have to do to get you into a closet, huh? Wow, you guys don't mince words, huh? [Ron.]
After realizing his friendship with Tony Wonder was over [Tony, over phone.]
I don't think we can hang out.
[Ron.]
Gob, desperate to push his feelings back into the closet, decided conversion therapy was the only answer.
-We're different.
-[Ron.]
Although, it's worth noting he didn't do a lot of research.
[salesman.]
Plus, it's great for your resale value.
How's your resale value now? [Ron.]
Gob didn't want to let on that he didn't know what "resale value" was gay slang for.
I've never had any complaints.
Let's talk about you.
The more we know about you, the happier you're gonna be with your results.
I love Tony Wonder.
I guess you want the details.
[chuckles.]
-Anyway, it's -[Ron.]
Gob told the closet salesmen all about his night with Tony, and how devastated he was by being ghosted.
Michael walked in, I had to waste my roofie But he doesn't remember Him, with my I guess that's how we're different, in the same way.
We should put him in the Catalina cedar walk-in with the pocket doors and the floor lighting.
[Ron.]
And that's when Gob realized his mistake.
But keep in mind, we edited, like, an hour out of this.
What are the confidentiality laws concerning people who walk into a closet store? [Gob.]
They're kind of sane and, you know, they just, they listen, they're good-- and they work for us 'cause I bought the company.
-Ah.
Oh.
-[phone buzzing.]
Hang on, this might be him.
It is.
-Barry.
-[Barry.]
Michael, I'm calling you, I've got new info.
It can be whatever you want to say, I'm saying.
I understand, so you are saying I'm not saying anything.
-I didn't think I had to.
-I see.
-What does that mean, "discovered"? -Oh, they're listening, right? If they're listening, just say "dogshit.
" Mm.
What you said, I would repeat, but the family is here, and I want to make sure -that I don't get it wrong.
-Get it wrong? -Say "dogshit.
" -Apparently, they know where the stair car is, and they might even know where Lucille 2 is, which means they will talk to her, and we'll get all this sorted out.
-Did I get that right? -Well, with two heads in it.
One spiky one and one bald one.
No, that's plenty.
-Thank you.
Good job, Barry.
-Know what's funny? In the 30 years that I've represented this family, that is the first time anyone has said "good j--" -[phone beeps.]
-Well, listen.
If that's all true, they might be closer to figuring this out than we thought.
[Ron.]
And now, Michael had to just sit back and wait for something out of the ordinary to happen.
I'm gonna take off.
And I'll check back on you later and we can, uh Um, can I speak to you privately for a moment? Oh.
Yeah? You need to speak privately? Oh, it's just so mundane.
I don't want to bore everyone.
-It's just so mundane.
-I'll get out of your hair.
[Ron.]
And Michael went to stake out the parking lot.
-Hey, Dad.
Wait.
You're leaving? -[Michael.]
Hey.
You never even said hello.
-Yeah, I just -Or good-bye.
-Thank you for coming out.
-I was glad to come out because I have some good news.
Um, do you still need that 50 grand for Buster's bail? Because I can get that from the business.
No.
No, no, no, no.
I told you I'm not gonna be taking your money.
And it's 75 grand that I'm not gonna be taking because the bail went up.
Buster tried to strangle a, uh Well, he technically did strangle a skinhead.
-Very cool.
-I guess, in a way.
Now that we're talking about money, I want to tell you, I couldn't be more proud of what you've been able to do with the Fakeblock thing.
But with this kind of success, it puts a target on your back.
People are gonna think, "Here comes the next Steve Gobs.
" -They're gonna want -Jobs.
Jobs, for sure, but they're also gonna want money.
And don't be throwing it away.
Not just to family.
Be careful with friends, too.
New friends, a girlfriend that might be trying to slow things down.
Isn't that what you-- Isn't that how you described it? -With Rebel? -Huh? Yeah.
She just works a lot.
She's in Mexico right now.
But we're better than ever.
Actually, that money that I mentioned? That was from Rebel.
You know, to be a friend and support me.
Oh, boy.
There's some of that Hollywood BS.
There it is.
Right there.
That's how they use people.
That's the culture there, and I want to make sure you don't give too much away.
Don't change yourself.
You don't change your look to be a part of the gang.
You talking about my hair? Why'd you dye your hair? Come on.
[Ron.]
George Michael couldn't tell his father that he'd attempted to dye his hair pink -to push Rebel away.
-Um Yeah, I guess, you know, so-- so Rebel would think that I was cool.
-I see.
-[George Sr.
.]
Look at this.
Three generations of Bluths in one place.
Anybody have a camera? -On my phone.
-Yes, sir.
Oh, no.
It's a figure of speech.
I gotta run.
Where you off to, Dad? I could run some errands.
-Need a hop on? -No, thanks.
Personal business.
Heading northward.
Okay.
I'm actually complete opposite direction.
Where you heading, Dad? Uh, west.
Well, I'll hang out with you at the, uh, beach.
Oh, uh No.
Why did I say west? East is where I'm going.
Northeast.
Northeast, actually.
I'm going up to Search campus.
I love the idea of you going to the beach.
Do that.
Make sure it doesn't turn your hair red again.
And, Dad Well, he's gone.
Okay, I gotta go.
How'd you know I had red hair? -Did you see it on Instagram? -Yes.
I did.
I did.
I did.
I just didn't want to embarrass you.
Showed up on my e-mail this morning.
So you use Instagram? Mm-mm.
No, no.
Your uncle showed it to me.
You know me.
I'm a 20th-century guy.
You can keep that futuristic stuff.
Okay? Okay.
Prismo.
-Begin.
-[car chimes.]
User, Michael Bluth.
Lost my keys.
Okay, Prismo, reverse.
[automated voice.]
I will.
And how was -[Michael's voice.]
Mom's fucking cottage -[automated voice.]
with Gob.
[Ron.]
And so, a suspicious Michael took off after his father -[George Michael.]
He was there.
-[Ron.]
while his own son [George Michael.]
Where are you going? [Ron.]
found himself feeling suspicious as well.
And Barry showed up at the cottage to make sure the scheme had worked.
You are here.
Why was Michael -so stingy with the dogshit? -What are you doing here? Was Michael lying about talking to you on the phone just now? Oh, no.
That was me.
I just wanted to see how Michael was enjoying -knowing about the cottage.
-You want to know if we fell for Michael's and your little trap.
It was a trap, wasn't it? [chuckles.]
You're wrong.
Why would I do that? Because he paid your bail and threatened to make trouble if you didn't play along.
You're right.
I knew it.
The DA has a picture of the stair car? Like Lucille 2 would be stupid enough to disappear in a truck with her name on it? -What kind of lie is that? -I totally agree with you.
A good lie is head in a box, but they wanted to go with something real, so we went with the evidence they actually had.
This is real? Yeah, and he doesn't want to use the best part, the two heads.
One spiky, one bald.
Lucille 2 and Oscar.
That idiot.
I told him to keep her out of sight.
Speaking of out of sight, do you know where your husband is with that Winnebago? Because since I got out of prison, George is letting me stay there, without him knowing it.
-I don't know where he went.
-Hmm.
Maybe he went to find Oscar, warn him about the picture.
You think he really did? I think the prosecution gave us this picture so that George or you would lead them to Lucille 2.
Go find him.
Track him down.
Get to him before he finds Lucille 2.
I will not let that woman steal everything I've taken from her.
[Ron.]
George Sr.
turned south on Coast Highway, unaware he was being followed by Michael, unaware he was being followed by George Michael.
[cell phone buzzing.]
[cell phone continues buzzing.]
-[George Michael.]
Maeby? Hello? -I think my phone's ringing.
[George Michael.]
Maeby.
Hello? Come on.
Hello? -Hello? -It's me.
I know you're not old.
Can we have a system where I don't have to wait the 40 seconds? Look, I have to be careful, okay? These are not tech-savvy people.
The other day, I turned the lounge TV on, and now that's my job.
They call me "Buttons" now.
Buttons.
-He's going to meet Rebel.
-Who? Your dad? I think you were right.
They were together in Mexico, and that's why my dad has been weird with me.
Wow, I was just "specu-lying.
" Well, you nailed it, Buttons.
And he probably made plans to see her this time in Mexico when I said my relationship was slowing down.
You know, it's hard to believe because my niece always told me never to give away my Social Security number, but if it really is a free trip to Aruba Oh, you have to go, Buttons.
Sign me up! [Maeby.]
Peg's walking by.
[George Michael.]
No, you have to.
He lied about being at the Howard barbecue.
He was there.
Wow, and I thought my parents were the selfish ones.
At least my mom never tried to sleep with somebody I was da-- Oh, wait.
No.
Steve Holt.
Uh, but he's family.
We've got to stop the lying in this family.
Tell me about it.
You tell one little story to get a place to live.
Next thing you know, you're sorting through your roommate's pills to figure out which one will kill his sex drive.
-Like estrogen? -Wait, that's a thing? I mean, I was just day plotting.
Stop right there.
The minute you start talking about neutering your romantic partner, you're into shit that even Gangee wouldn't do.
The monster or the grandmother? The monster.
But, yeah, I don't think our grandmother would do that.
Yeah, maybe it is too far.
I guess I can just pretend like I have an illness where I forget everything.
Like Alzheimer's? That's a thing, too? I was just crime-storming.
You know, just lying out loud.
How funny.
[Ron.]
Gob was having trouble forgetting someone himself.
Okay? Now you're gonna be in the closet [Ron.]
Which was why he was distracted as the closet guys helped him with his parade float illusion.
Sorry.
I'm still really torn up about this love affair with Tony, which, if you guys mention, you're fired.
[salesman.]
We can't change your feelings, okay? But we can change whether Tony is in your life.
After you left, we got to talking about you, and You're a magician, he's a magician Go double magician.
Two guys, one trick.
Do an act together.
God.
Why are all the cute ones so dumb? Look, guys, this is not that hard.
I am pretending to be a Christian magician.
Tony's pretending to be a gay magician.
We're like oil and vinegar.
What trick is gonna have room for both? Yes, everyone could be smarter, that's true, but what we meant was that we could book you and Tony to do a trick on our float.
Yeah.
A classic two-fister.
An old-fashioned will he, won't he? We're just gonna need the perfect trick.
We're wasting daylight.
Let's do this.
[workers laugh.]
What did we decide on? Sorry, I [Ron.]
And soon, George Sr.
arrived at the border [cell phone rings.]
-Hello? -[Michael.]
Hey, Dad.
[Ron.]
two cars ahead of Michael.
I thought I'd give you a call, see how the drive -north is going.
-Oh, it's fine.
I took Highway 5, so there's, you know, no view, but there's no traffic.
[Michael.]
What's the bell? Oh, there's this Salvation Army Santa Claus guy who's just going from car to car here.
Ice cream? [George Sr.
.]
Stop screaming and get off the highway! Oh, there's an Andersen's Pea Soup, -so I think I'm gonna buy him soup.
-[line beeping.]
[Michael.]
That's George Michael.
I gotta go.
I hope that I'm half the father to him that you are to me.
You're embarrassing me.
-Thank you.
-You should be.
George Michael.
[George Michael.]
Hey, where are you? [Michael.]
I'm approaching, uh, Andersen's Pea Soup.
Oh, that's north.
You said you were going northeast.
[stammering.]
Well, I'm headed north, then I'm headed east.
Otherwise you don't pass the Andersen's P.
S.
Oh, right.
[Ron.]
Michael felt doubly guilty for not just telling a lie, but stealing one.
-What's that bell? -[Michael.]
That's, uh, we got a Danish girl ringing a bell -in front of, uh, A's Pea Soup.
-[man.]
Ice cream? Ice cream? What's that about ice cream? [Michael.]
No, thank you.
Uh, nein, danke.
Big boy, I gotta go.
Okay? -I'll talk to you later.
-Love you.
[Ron.]
They made their way through the border crossing.
[guard.]
Next one.
[Barry.]
Oh.
He's going to Father B's.
[Ron.]
Which, to Barry, could only mean one thing.
I have time for an ice cream.
-Ice cream! -[Ron.]
In fact, George Sr.
was returning to property he used as a motivational retreat called Father B's for the first time in months.
And, unseen, Michael snuck into his blind spot.
Of course this is where they'd hide Lucille 2.
[George Sr.
sniffles.]
-Mm.
-[Michael.]
Hey.
How'd Santa like his pea soup? Michael, uh What are you doing here? [Michael.]
Figuring out why you lied about where you were going.
I didn't want you to know.
I was embarrassed.
I would've been embarrassed if I was making Buster rot in prison, while I was hiding Lucille down in Mexico.
Hiding Lucille? What are you talking about? I set you up.
I told you that the DA found the stair car.
You took the bait and you had that private conversation with Mom.
She said to you, "Make sure Lucille 2 stays hidden.
" Did she not say that? -Tell me she didn't.
-[Ron.]
She didn't.
-It's so mundane.
-Let me get out of your hair.
[Ron.]
Lucille had something else on her mind.
I know you said you wanted to check in on me, and I have plans with Dusty, and I didn't want you to find us together and get your feelings hurt tonight.
So you want to hurt my feelings now instead? -To get it out of the way.
-Is that it, or are you afraid -I'll tear him in two? -Hey.
If you could tear anything in two, you'd still have a shot at me.
Okay, you want to see a real man, you're going to.
I know.
I just didn't want you to see me with him.
[quietly.]
Don't cry.
-[sobbing.]
-[Michael.]
Then, what are you doing down here? This is where the curse began.
This is where that guy turned me into Oscar, and Oscar -into me.
-Mm.
[Ron.]
Years earlier, when Oscar introduced George Sr.
to maca [man.]
The strong will become the weak, the weak will become the strong.
the brothers had an ominous vision.
Probably so they can build a border wall.
They want to separate [Ron.]
Which is what Lindsay's boyfriend wanted them to think.
You don't believe that maca does all this crap, do you? [man, echoing.]
George! -[George Sr.
.]
You see that? -[man.]
I have something for you! [George Sr.
.]
Great spirit, that's why I'm here! My son doesn't believe.
Please, take his strength, and give it to me! -[Michael.]
Take it easy.
-[Tobias.]
No, it's me, Tobias.
Fünke.
I'm still legally recognized as your son-in-law.
-Why are you dressed like that? -Humorous anecdote.
[grunting.]
Oh.
Ugh Come One Here-- here it comes.
[grunting, mumbling.]
[Ron.]
Well, maybe I'll jump in here.
After being kicked off Father B's land, the men finally found their way to Marky Bark's trailer.
It was worth it.
Now you know how to do a proper spit take.
Now, if Lindsay's here, let me do the talking.
Hello? -[Ma Bark.]
No water.
-Oh, uh, we're looking for Lindsay.
Lindsay? That dumb blonde slut my moron son keeps calling every five minutes since she came back on Cinco de Mayo? Yes, yes, my wife.
-Nice girl, but you just missed her.
-[Tobias.]
Oh.
Well, uh, could we wait here until she gets back? Normally, I would say no, but the ostriches have been making a hell of a mess this past year.
How's your gag reflex? Well, if you mean is my son anything like his father, well, he's never had any complaints.
[Ron.]
And Tobias explained what happened next.
[Tobias grunts.]
I I got it-- hey, hey-- I One [Ron.]
Okay, well, so Tobias, also, was given a job.
The mail's been piling up.
You can start at Father B's.
Oh, no, no, I can't go there.
[chuckles.]
They held me up at gunpoint, so you'll understand if I pass on going back.
If you're that worried, you can wear the ostrich suit.
Mark always did.
Oh, fun.
If you pass out, it keeps buzzards off your eyes.
[laughs.]
Double fun! Tuna fish sandwich.
So, I got a job delivering mail for the day.
Yes, I suppose I could've told you that from up there, but I am glad to see you, uh, 'cause your mail certainly has been piling up.
And this is my last delivery, so I get to put on my human clothes.
Adios, muchachos.
[George Sr.
.]
Oh, my Viagra.
See, and this used to work.
Since when is Viagra pink? Your mom says that the Medicare only does the generic.
You know, this is estrogen.
-Really? -How long you been taking that? Uh, two years.
Two years.
Isn't that about the time that Mom was in jail and started, uh -Forwarding my mail.
-Yeah.
Why do you think she did that? Maybe she figured that if she was gonna do hard time, I should do Soft time.
Yeah.
But that doesn't explain Oscar.
He has my mojo, and all he eats is maca.
And, actually, it's this particular maca that grows all over this gully.
-[Michael.]
Down the hill from that.
-Yeah.
It's from when I was running the executive training camp.
Boy, talk about guys high on testosterone.
I wish I could get some of what they were on.
Yeah.
Sounds like Oscar has.
Coincidence? [Ron.]
Having kept a safe distance, George Michael soon arrived at Father B's ranch.
How is the Pea Soup Andersen's pea soup, Dad? [Ron.]
Assuming his father was inside the Winnebago with Rebel, he rang her to catch her off guard when he made his move.
-Hey, where are you? -[Rebel.]
In Culver City.
-I thought you were in Mexico.
-No, my character's in Mexico.
-I'm in Culver City.
-Oh.
-I'm on set.
-I see.
All right, well, then, I guess all that's left to say is lights, camera, action! Always so lovely to hear your voice.
[Ron.]
George Michael knew he had made a horrible mistake, and knew he had to get out of there before anyone saw him.
But he couldn't get to his car unseen now that Barry had arrived.
With the coast clear, George Michael made for an exit to avoid running into his father [George Sr.
.]
I can't believe you're suspicious.
who was behind him.
You have to trust me.
I don't know where Lucille 2 is.
-[engine starts.]
-[Michael.]
Dad, trust is a two-way street.
Okay? That's Lucille 2's car.
I swear to you, I didn't know she was here.
I-- You're probably not impotent, either.
-We should be following her.
-Get in the Anustart, and I'll follow.
Go.
Follow Lucille 2.
If we get her, Buster goes free.
[Tobias.]
Ooh, triple fun.
[Ron.]
And so, Michael rushed after Lucille 2's Cadillac with Tobias at the wheel, which only made his son more desperate to lose his father.
Yet, none of them saw the spike strips.
[tires popping.]
[moans.]
-[tires popping.]
-Oh! [tires screeching.]
[grunts.]
I'm okay.
The bathroom doesn't work back here, so I peed in a Wetzel bag.
What are you doing here? I live here.
[Ron.]
And the family that was chasing itself for no reason soon had a reason to stop.
-George Michael? What are you doing? -Uh Three, four, five, six, seven, eight flat tires? -Yeah.
-Who do we sue? You, until we find out who put down the spike strips.
That would be us! Hyah! Ãndale.
Oh.
Hi.
[man.]
We're sorry about the spike strips, but we can't always personally patrol our land.
Your land? This is Bluth land.
This has been Romney land since my great-grandfather settled here.
Along with our 18 great-grandmothers.
-[George Sr.
.]
Romney land? -[Michael.]
Like Mitt Romney? Yes, we are the Mexican Romneys.
[neighing.]
- Mexican Romney Family -[whip cracks.]
Although, we used to have better signs.
[Ron.]
Until, as it turns out, Oscar and his friends discovered how cold Mexico was at night.
This is America.
If they don't want us to burn signs, they shouldn't write them in Spanish.
And besides, George Bluth signed it over to us.
-Oscar.
-That's a bit much.
That's very nice.
I wouldn't say I deserved an Oscar, but -[chuckles.]
-Hold on.
I'm George Bluth.
I never signed anything like that.
Now perhaps, before I rediscovered my manhood in the gully, I would've caved, but not now.
I am gonna fight you for the land.
[guns clicking.]
Where's a pen? [Ron.]
On the next Arrested Development [Ron.]
Gob and his new conversion buddies labor to design the perfect trick.
Don't tell me not to live Just sit and putter Then, we have the other one, like he said.
Gay equals straight.
To rain on my parade I need two closets! Two guys coming out of the closet! How hard is that to understand? You've got two-- Thank you, you're a dear.
One is gonna be well-organized.
The other one is just gonna be shredded all apart.
Yeah, that's good, that's good.
Bam! It's garbage! -It's all garbage! - Here I am!