Lovejoy (1986) s05e07 Episode Script

(Crunch) (Screams) (Seagull crying) "Vengeance is mine, I will repay," saith the Lord.
- (Car approaching) - Put the chairs along the hallway.
Morning! Can't you read, Lovejoy? You know, that's what I like about coming here, Tink.
You get such a warm welcome.
I'm very busy.
Now, what can I do for you? And please don't answer that question how I think you're going to answer it.
Didn't say a word, did I? We're just here to pick up something for Charlie Gimbert, a sideboard.
Put this by the window, Miss Cavendish? No! Put it in the back where the light's not so good.
Sideboard's in there.
- Check it out, will you, Tink? - Sure.
I told you to move this up front.
- Sorry, Miss Cavendish.
- Thank you.
- You need to relax.
- Is that a fact? - You're working too hard.
- Really? Mm.
I was just thinking that what you need is a break.
You know, a few days away.
(Clears throat) Somewhere quiet.
With the right someone? Took the words right out of my mouth.
Yes, you know, you could be right.
And when the right someone turns up, I'll consider it.
I don't think you're being reasonable about this, Charlotte.
It What's that? Isn't that a 19th-century Celtic cross? No.
No, it's earlier.
The real thing.
- I'm not sure.
- I am.
I've got some people coming down from London on Monday to examine it.
Why didn't you ask me? (Sighs) Where's it come from? I had a couple of Welsh dressers in last week.
I was checking one of them over for any signs of improvement, - I found it hidden behind a drawer.
- Who does it belong to? Well, the dresser came from a house clearance in Wales.
It's been around the trade a bit, but I've managed to track down the solicitor who handled the original sale.
- I wouldn't have bothered if I was you.
- No, I'm sure you wouldn't.
Anyway, he's quite happy for me to see what I can do with it.
- Are you considering offers? - No.
(Footsteps) - I'm not interested in selling that either.
- Mm.
Charlotte, your 11 o'clock meeting's here.
Oh.
Sorry, must rush.
And make sure you sign a receipt for the sideboard.
Receipt? Kate, would you take care of that, please? - Oh, everything by the book, eh? - This place needed a bit of a shake-up.
Not sure I didn't prefer the way it used to be.
- You don't mean that.
- Oh, don't I? - Not really.
- Well, I can't make her out.
You mean all the usual ploys aren't working? Kate.
Can I, erm - Can I ask you something? - You can ask.
- Charlotte.
- Mm? Does she ever talk about me, in passing, you know? Sometimes.
What does she say? She wouldn't trust you further than she could throw you.
She's surprised you don't spend most of your time in prison, and any woman who got involved with you would be an utter fool.
Huh.
It's amazing how wrong someone can be about you, isn't it? Still, you always did enjoy a challenge, didn't you, Lovejoy? (Grunting) Oh! We're never gonna lift this.
One more go, John.
If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, "Remove hence to yonder place," and it shall remove.
Bible Joe.
(Chuckles) Lovejoy.
Tinker.
- Thou art come into the land of hernia.
- (Laughs) - Well, shall we? - Yeah.
Right.
One, two, three (Grunts) So, how long are you around for, Joe? Oh, passing through, Lovejoy.
Ever the pilgrim.
Don't suppose you've anything to sell, have you? - Not at the moment, no.
- Pity.
That's why I stopped here, thought I'd have a look, but they're not letting anyone in.
John, do me a favor.
Let Joe have a look round inside, will you? No one's allowed in till the official viewing day.
- Come on, John.
- Her ladyship's put her foot down.
And her ladyship is in a meeting.
All right, but you'd better be quick, and don't touch anything.
I'm grateful, Lovejoy.
See you round, Joe.
You know people are always telling me that antiques is a crooked business.
Well, Bible Joe is living proof that it isn't entirely.
He travels all round the country, preaching in church halls here, there and everywhere, and he pays himself by doing a bit of dealing.
Now, he's got a great eye, and he'll never screw you.
Could be the most honest person in antiques.
Come to think of it, could be the only honest person in antiques.
(Engine revs) Forgive me for what I am about to do.
Hey, you! (Pottery smashing) (Dog barking) - Ha! - (Peacocks calling outside) Ha! (Giggles) Hive of industry, as usual.
Well, what do you think? We were wondering why you bought it, Charlie.
Well, it's an investment of sorts.
Oh.
Planning to chop it up and sell it round the doors for firewood, are we, Charlie? I thought you might give it your personal touch, - tickle it up for me.
- Need more than a tickle.
I bought it for a lady friend.
She thinks it might be Adam.
I promised I'd have it tickled up as good as new for her birthday.
On Monday.
- For Monday, Charlie? - She'd be very grateful, Lovejoy.
And so would I.
No can do for Monday, Charlie.
Do you know how much I lost on those Constable etchings? Oh, you're not still on about those, are you? The people who almost bought those pictures are still very keen to find the original source.
Of course, I couldn't tell them without dropping myself further in it, but I could arrange for them to find out.
- Oh, you wouldn't, Charlie.
- I would.
- When's this lady's birthday, Charlie? - Monday.
- (Clears throat) Pickup a.
m.
Or p.
M? - A.
m.
Oh, he's not gonna let him get away with that, that's blackmail.
- Well, what else can he do? - Well, chin him! A lot of work here, Charlie.
I want this finished without fail on Monday morning.
- Monday? - Monday.
No excuses.
No sudden disappearances.
For once you're going to do exactly as I ask you.
- Is that clear? - Crystal.
If you let me down, Lovejoy, I've only to make a phone call.
- Good morning.
- (Tinker) Morning! (Sighs) Yeah, we can do this.
Can't we? (Man) Right, after him.
Do you know what you've just done? Have you any idea? - No.
- You've just cost me the best chance I'm ever likely to have of getting Cavendish's back on the map.
- How have I done that? - You told John to let that weird Welshman into the saleroom! Bible Joe? He's harmless.
He just wanted a look round.
- He stole the cross! - What? - The cross! He's nicked it! - Mistake.
- No mistake.
- Bible Joe just doesn't steal.
Ask Tink.
- No, Bible Joe doesn't steal.
- There you go.
John saw him! And he didn't exactly hang about to protest his innocence.
- Bible Joe - Just would not do that.
(Sighs) And to make matters worse, the museum called.
They're convinced the cross is genuine.
- They're excited.
Very excited.
- Really? They think it's one of a set of apostle crosses.
- Oh.
- That means there are 11 more the same size.
Yeah, and one much larger one.
Nobody's ever found a complete set of apostle crosses.
- Nope.
- Well, I'd just like mine back, please! So where do we find this Bible Joe? - I don't know.
- Well, I suggest you find out! Before he disappears into the wide blue yonder taking my cross with him.
No luck, Jacob.
It's OK.
I know where he's going.
Oh, that's good.
Thank you.
- (Knocking, sanding) - Well, have we found him? No.
Joe moves around a lot.
He could be anywhere.
- Well, what have you found out? - Well, just that he has a base of sorts, but he's not there very often.
It's a place called Plenyfydd.
- "Pleny-veeth".
- Thank you, Tink.
It's on the west coast of Wales.
He was there a few days ago.
Well, maybe he's gone back there.
No, once he's been there he doesn't go back for months, apparently.
What did you say just then? Once he's been there he doesn't go back for months.
- No, the name of the place.
- Plenyfydd.
"Pleny-veeth"! I thought it rang a bell.
- What? - Plenyfydd.
"Pleny-veeth", my dear.
It's where the house clearance came from.
I've got the solicitor's letter right here.
See? Maybe he has gone back there.
See, it all fits.
Celtic crosses, the Welsh coast, monks coming over from Ireland in their little boats.
Yeah.
Maybe you should have those few days away after all, somewhere quiet, peaceful, restful.
If you think I'm going all the way to Wales with you - on the basis of this evidence, forget it.
- All right, I'll go on my own.
I'll just need expenses, and of course there'll be a finder's fee.
- When do we leave? - Just get my toothbrush.
Er, Lovejoy, are you forgetting something? Tink, these crosses are worth a lot of money, and I'll be back before you know it.
Oh, come on, trouble.
I'm all yours.
(Thunder) (Charlotte) I'll pull up ahead so we can have a look at the map.
(Lovejoy) There's no need, I know exactly where we're going.
- (Charlotte) Are you sure? - Absolutely.
- Evening.
- Charlie.
I just thought I'd pop in, see how Lovejoy's getting along with all this.
Good Lord, I hope he knows what he's doing here.
Me too.
- Well, where is he, then? - (Tinker) Who? - Lovejoy.
- Lovejoy? - Yes.
Where is he? - Oh, he's gone.
Gone? Where? Er For materials.
Oh.
It's a bit late, Friday night, to be doing all that, isn't it? Oh, he said that himself.
He said, er, it'll probably take him a while.
- Didn't he, Tink? - Er, yeah, yes, that's right.
Especially as he has to get this thing finished by Monday.
I'm glad to see he's taking it so seriously.
Oh, he is.
Very seriously.
Yes, it's a good feeling to have Lovejoy exactly where you want him for once.
(Thunder) So, which way? Yeah.
What does that mean? I'm thinking.
I've got it worked out, I know where we're going? Straight ahead.
I think.
You think? What do you mean, you think? Do you know which road we're on? Well, I sort of got lost back there with all those twists and turns.
So how come you think it's straight ahead? - I've worked it out.
- What from? The stars or something? - No, not exactly the stars.
- Well, how? Eeny, meeny, miny, mo.
Oh, you really know how to show a girl a good time, don't you, Lovejoy? Straight ahead.
Wait a minute.
Wait for me.
- Wait for me.
- Not frightened, are we? No, course not.
- What was that? - Don't know.
Hello? What do you think you saw? A light? Mmm.
Hello? - Anybody there? - (Shrieks) Hi.
You, er, frightened the lady.
What are you doing here? We're looking for a village called Plenyfydd.
- Er, "Pleny-veeth".
- Yeah, "Pleny-veeth".
We seem to have lost our way.
Follow the road down the hill.
You can't miss it.
- Thank you very much.
- Er, if you don't mind me asking, but what are you doing here? It's a druid ceremony.
Private.
That's the woman from the auction rooms.
I think we'll keep an eye on them.
(Charlotte) Not exactly thriving, is it? Nope.
Wonder why everything's closed down.
(Waves crashing) - Yes? - Oh, hello.
We were wondering if you had any rooms.
- We're closed.
- I know, but there's nowhere else.
All right.
How many rooms? - (Lovejoy) One.
- Two.
Any other offers? Two, please.
All right.
- Moving out? - In a couple of days.
Seems like a lot of people round here are doing that.
Well, the whole village has been bought up, lock, stock and barrel, along with most of the land round here.
- Who by? - Don't know.
We had 28 days' notice to leave in writing.
Even people who've lived here all their lives.
- Oh, that's criminal.
- Ah, might be criminal, but it's perfectly legal.
- (Knock on door) - It's open.
Everything all right? Well, it's not exactly the lap of luxury.
The bed's as hard as a rock.
- Well, do you want to try mine? - I'll stick to my own, thanks.
- I meant swap.
- Oh.
Sorry.
(Waves crashing) You know, I don't understand this.
What? Well, how someone could shut down a whole village.
Yeah.
Pretty view, eh? I could imagine settling down somewhere like this.
Well, now, wouldn't have thought it was your cup of tea.
Why? Oh, you know, just after all those years in New York.
Oh, especially after all those years in New York.
I stand corrected.
It's OK.
Just trying to figure you out.
So Kate was telling me.
What did she tell you? Well, she just mentioned in passing.
What else did she tell you? Well, that would be telling.
Well, maybe this'd, erm be a good time to tell me.
Well maybe it would.
Anyone for cocoa? Oh, I'd close that window if I were you.
You get a nasty chill from the sea air in here later on.
Right.
Now, do you want yours in here or in your own room? Hmm? Oh, er Well, it's been a long day and we should get an early start in the morning.
Well, not that early.
Well, I think I'll go to bed anyway.
Right.
OK.
Thank you, Mrs.
Thorn.
Don't forget to shut that window, Charlotte.
Cocoa.
(Phone ringing) - Lovejoy Antiques.
- (Charlie) Ah, morning, it's me.
I'm just on my way to a meeting, but I wanted to have a quick word with Lovejoy.
Er, Lovejoy's, er, putting on a piece of molding at the minute.
No, no, hang on a second, he's saying something.
(Muffled mumbling) He says he'll be a couple of minutes, and what do you want? Oh, this lady friend of mine, she's asked exactly what date we thought the sideboard would be.
Lovejoy, Charlie wants to know what date we should put on it.
(Muffled mumbling) - Did you hear that, Charlie? - Not Not very clearly, no.
Well, Lovejoy says, what date would you like? I don't know, really.
What about early Adam, roughly 1736? That's always the most valuable.
Oh, well, we'll go with that, then.
(Waves crashing, seagulls crying) So, Old Gwyn died a few weeks ago? That's right.
And Bible Joe used to stay with him from time to time? - Well, he was his nephew, wasn't he? - Was he? I don't know.
Mm.
Oh, your bacon and eggs are on the stove.
Just black coffee for me, thanks.
Morning.
Joe Davis was virtually brought up by Old Gwyn.
And you saw Bible Joe a few days ago, yeah? He turned up, saying Old Gwyn had been murdered, somebody had killed him and he was going to find out who.
Is that likely? No.
I mean, it was odd Old Gwyn was there at night, but the police and everybody else thought it was an accident, didn't seem to be any doubt about it.
So why didn't Joe think it was an accident? No idea.
Mind you, he wasn't very rational about it.
It was like he'd gone crazy.
Oh, that's just what I wanted to hear.
Where did Old Gwyn live? Mm, last house up the hill, Chapel Cottage.
(Thud, bird fluttering) I'll just check upstairs.
Shh! (Whispering) I'm sorry, Lovejoy.
Who's that downstairs? She owns the place where you stole the cross from.
I need time to find out what's going on here.
You come back on your own.
I'll talk to you or I'll talk to no one.
Just one thing.
Do you know where the other crosses are? Maybe.
How much do you think they know? Too much, by the looks of it.
Stuart, get on the phone.
Try a couple of the dealers near where she works.
Find out about her friends and family.
Graham, you ought to check that house again.
I mean, if we can't find this Bible Joe then we can't do a thing.
Well, actually, we have found him, back there in the cottage.
Funny, I didn't notice him.
He was upstairs, it's just that he didn't want to speak in front of you - because he doesn't know who you are.
- This is another of your stories, isn't it? No, it's not! Look, I said I'd go back alone.
I want you to wait on the beach for me and I'll go back and find out what he has to say.
Well, don't be long.
If you're lying (Sighs) Joe? Joe? - That's it! - Oh, but, Charlotte, give me a break.
No more! I can't see the point in hanging around here and getting nowhere.
- He was there! - Yeah, yeah, sure he was, - and then he disappeared into thin air.
- Well, yes, he did, but Look, I said that is it! I'm going back to the hotel.
If you don't come up with something soon, we're going home.
Or at least I'm going home.
You can stay! As long as you like! Interesting.
Ah.
Is there any hot water yet? Oh, sorry, love.
Maybe later.
Hmm.
May I use the telephone, please? Sorry, we had it cut off.
We didn't think anybody'd be needing it.
You could always use the one in the village.
- Morning.
- Morning.
What can we do for you? Er, may I look at your Bible? We haven't got much left, but we've still got the Good Book.
Thank you.
Matthew 18:20.
- (Car approaching) - It's Gimbert.
(Car door shuts) Oh, Charlie, you've just missed him again.
- Oh, where is he this time? - Well, he's been working so very, very hard he's popped down to the pub for a spot of lunch.
Oh, I'll catch up with him there, then.
Ah, seems to be coming along.
Good.
- Bye, Charlie.
- Bye.
Well? What do we do now? Just head straight across the fields and you're bound to be there before him.
Oh.
Why don't we just phone them up? Unfortunately the other night I had a little altercation with the management and I am temporarily persona non grata.
Hmm.
Now, what am I supposed to do? Just be yourself.
(Bell rings) "For where two or three are gathered together in my name "there am I in the midst of them.
" - Have you any idea what that means? - Sorry? Nothing.
Hello? Hello? Kate? (Tuts) (Crash) - (Charlotte) Here's my name and address.
- Don't worry, I shall pay for this in full.
- Oh, that's a coincidence.
- What is? You wouldn't be related to Sam Cavendish who's got the salerooms in Suffolk? Sam's my father.
But I run the salerooms now.
Do you know Sam? Yeah, I do actually.
Morning, Charlie.
What'll it be.
Oh, nothing for me, thanks.
I'm looking for Lovejoy.
Lovejoy? Well, he was supposed to be here.
You just missed him, Charlie.
He left a couple of seconds ago.
- Sure you won't have a drink? - No, thanks.
Thanks, Jack.
- Charlotte.
- Ah, Lovejoy, I was just leaving a message for you.
This is Jacob Armstrong.
Jacob, this is Lovejoy.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- Jacob knows my father.
- Really? Yeah.
I used to deal privately with Sam.
- Coincidence, eh? - Jacob's an historian.
- Oh.
- Working with some colleagues about a mile out of the village.
- Have you found Bible Joe yet? - No, I haven't.
(Charlotte) Hmm.
Er, Jacob, will you excuse us a moment, please? Sure.
I've been reading about this place, and according to local legend there's a Celtic chapel in one of the sea caves around here, right? And it was written about in the chronicles of William of Malmesbury - which, as you know, were written in - Circa 1125.
Yeah, exactly.
But no one's ever been able to find it since.
I think that's where the cross came from and where the other ones probably are.
Er, technically speaking, that's what you might describe as a wild guess.
- Mm-hm.
- And have we had any more sightings - of your strange friend? - I just said.
No.
- Well, if you'll excuse me.
- Where are you going? - I'm going to Jacob's place.
- Jacob's place? What He said I could use the phone.
And have a bath.
- You don't know him, Charlotte.
- He's a friend of Dad's.
- Oh, Charlotte, please.
- Oh, Lovejoy, please, relax.
I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself.
See you later.
Not your weekend, is it, good boy? No, Mrs.
Thorn.
What do you know of the druids that go up to the standing stones? They used to go there on and off when I was a girl.
- Well, they're back.
- I don't think they're the same ones.
But I'm told people have been seeing things, lights and so forth, up at Gwyn's old chapel.
I don't know what it's coming to round here.
Where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I.
Thank you, Mrs.
Thorn.
Joe? Joe? What happened to you? It wasn't safe to stay there.
Why did you steal the cross? Old Gwyn was my uncle.
When I was a lad, I lived with him here for years.
He told me that cross had come from a monks' chapel, hidden in a cave in the cliffs around here.
He said he was the only one to know about it.
He also said the chapel was still there and there were other crosses too.
You told Mrs.
Thorn you thought he'd been killed because of that cross.
I think other people were looking for that cave and Old Gwyn was onto them.
He'd never have fallen up there, Lovejoy, not even at night-time.
He knew those cliffs too well.
Well, who? I'm pretty sure it's those people up at the big house, those academics, whatever they call themselves.
I thought it was some kind of university project.
No, we're putting together a detailed historical report on the house and the area for the new owners.
They like to feel they're buying a little bit of history too.
It's strange that you don't know who these people are.
Yeah, people with this kind of cash often like to keep themselves to themselves.
Makes a change from academic work and it's, er, a lot more rewarding.
- Sounds interesting.
- Yeah, it is.
Anyway, must get on.
Look, I'll show you to your room.
There's a bath and a phone, so, er make yourself comfortable.
It's just at the top of the stairs on the left.
Thank you.
Why's she here? It's better to have her here than snooping around the village.
We've only Lovejoy to deal with now.
How are the other operations progressing? Fine.
I've located the sunken wreck.
I've got it down to a half square mile off the east coast of Bermuda.
Another day and I'll have it to the nearest hundred yards or so.
Good.
That'll make a nice change of scenery once we've finished here, which should be very soon.
Did Gwyn ever tell you where the cave was? No.
But he said I'd be able to find it if ever I needed to.
What's that? (Joe) Greek.
The original language of the New Testament.
My uncle was a bit of a scholar.
Do you, er? Er, no.
- Do you? - No.
But I know a girl who can.
It's a wonderful house, Kate.
Plenty of hot water.
Jacob's charming.
Lovejoy? (Charlotte) 0h, he's off somewhere looking for Bible Joe.
Haven't had much luck really.
We've got to deal with this.
Now.
Stay here.
- Oh! - Shush! - What are you?! - Shush! - What are?! - Shut up! I don't want your new friends to know I'm here, OK? I want you to translate something for me.
I think it tells us where the other crosses are.
- It's in Greek.
- I know.
- (Lock clicks) - Can you? It's been a long time.
Evening, Tinker.
Lovejoy.
- What's he doing? - He's welding the lining of a cooling drawer! Unfortunately he can't stop, it's a continuous weld, about 20 minutes.
Oh, but I need him to sign this, I need it today.
- What is it? - A tenancy agreement.
- I'll sign it.
- No, I want him to sign it.
Lovejoy! Will you sign this? It's a tenancy agreement.
- There we are.
Signed, sealed and delivered.
- Thank you.
What? Take your gloves off next time, Lovejoy.
Ah, well, keep up the good work.
(Both laugh) Between the standing stones and the raging sea an entrance you will find.
Follow the tunnel - into a wondrous cavern.
- (Knock on door) (Knock on door) - (Jacob) Charlotte? - Yes? Everything all right? Everything's fine, thanks.
- (Jacob) Good.
- Thank you.
Where are you going? Have your bath.
I'll be back for you later.
- Lovejoy.
- Hmm? Be careful.
Get down, Joe.
What's happened to Lovejoy? Where is he? He was last seen near the chapel.
I think he'd made contact with Bible Joe.
(Jacob) I don't like this at all.
He's becoming as much of a nuisance as Bible Joe.
- We may have to cut our losses and get out.
- (Stuart) Without the last cross? (Jacob) I don't think we can risk staying here any longer.
Let's make plans to move out.
We'll catch up with Bible Joe and Lovejoy later on.
Especially Lovejoy.
Do you think they know where the crosses are? Yeah, looks like it.
Shall we try to get closer? So shall I be saved from mine enemies! Psalm 18.
Lovejoy! Lovejoy! Lovejoy! (Lovejoy) Put your hood up and shut up! (Water dripping) We've got to save all this, Lovejoy.
I know, Joe.
Joe.
The full set.
I'd almost given up hope.
Charlotte knows everything.
If we're not back soon she'll call the police.
Oh, we'll be long gone by then.
Unfortunately, so will you.
(Joe) How did you find this place? We're historians.
Very good ones, as it happens.
Treasure hunters, more like.
Yeah, some people would describe us as that.
We go back through the records, trawling through the primary sources.
It's amazing what you can find.
- Ships that were sunk centuries ago.
- Yeah.
With cargos of gold, jewels, whatever.
All you need to do is look up the correct naval records and you've got the exact coordinates of where the ship went down.
And you just turn up and take what you find.
Yeah.
It's easy.
And then, of course, there are places like this.
Not quite so easy - but still possible.
- Did you find a map? No.
We found enough references to give us a good idea of where we should be looking, and then we looked.
It was a shame about the old man.
He knew what we were up to.
We had to stop all of this for a while after his accident.
And you bought the village.
Why? We thought at one point we might have to blast the cliffs to find the cave.
We didn't want anyone around whilst we were doing it, so we bought it.
(Beeping) We can always sell it on again.
You've got two minutes.
Quick! (Lovejoy) Hurry up, let's go.
This place goes up in about one minute! We can't let this place go up, Lovejoy, we can't! - No time, Joe! - Please, Lovejoy! Trust in the Lord! What was that for? I don't think we're going to have to leave after all, none of us.
That's great, but I thought you said you couldn't make a living here.
Well, we couldn't before, but now we've got an ancient Celtic chapel just outside the village.
With possible Arthurian connections.
I think things are going to be a lot busier when this gets in the news.
Quite the hero, hm? I'm sorry about the crosses, Lovejoy.
The police say they'll be regarded as treasure trove, so they'll probably end up in somewhere like the British Museum.
- Well, as they should.
- Though it would have been nice if Cavendish's had been a bit more involved.
There will be a reward, but I think I'll put it towards getting the village back on its feet.
- What, all of it? - Yeah, er, I thought you wouldn't mind.
He doesn't.
Not in the least.
Do you? No, I don't, no.
I think maybe I'll open up Gwyn's chapel again.
After all these years, be nice to have a church of my own.
See you there.
- I suppose I owe you an apology.
- Why? Well, for doubting you about Bible Joe.
Oh, forget about that.
I'm just sorry about this weekend in some ways.
What do you mean? Well, it didn't turn out to be exactly what you needed, did it? Not a lot of peace, rest, quiet.
The hot water's back on! We could stay another night.
The sideboard.
Gimbert.
Shall I drive? (Dialing) Ah, Tinker, it's me.
(Chuckles) Charlie.
I just wondered how that sideboard was coming along.
Ooh, fine, fine, fine.
And Lovejoy's there, is he? Working hard? Ah-ha, we're here polishing away.
Mmm.
Still too busy to come to the phone, though, I imagine.
Ah, well, you know what it's like, Charlie.
Polishing.
Yes.
Polishing.
Well, tell me about that, Tinker.
Oh, yeah, yes, yes, he's working very, very hard.
We're all working very hard.
Polishing away.
(Chuckles) So, he's hard at it, is he, Tink? Oh, yes, he's very (Chuckles) No, we're we're all hard at it.
Polishing.
- He isn't here, is he? - Er - He hasn't been here at all, has he? - (Chuckles) Well, has he? Hmm? Very nice! Well, he thinks he can fool me, does he? Well, a little bird has told me he hasn't been here all weekend, off with the beautiful Charlotte is what I hear.
Really, Charlie? - Oh, good morning, Charlotte.
- Morning.
Lovejoy around? I thought you were away with him for the weekend.
Oh, Charlie, please! Not really my type, is he? Well, I must confess, that's what I thought.
Apparently he wanted some help with an Adam sideboard.
(Stifled giggles) This is a trick, isn't it? You're all in on this, aren't you? Covering up for Lovejoy! Well, if you think I'm going to swallow that, you've got another think coming! Charlie! I thought I heard your voice.
How about a cup of tea? Didn't that sideboard come up a treat, hey? What?