Rick and Morty (2013) s05e07 Episode Script

1
ALL SINGING: Boob World, Boob World ♪
It's a world for you,
but it's actually two ♪
Boob World! ♪
[VOCALIZES]
I gotta say, Morty, it's weird
that you wanted me to come,
but I'm actually exstyched about it
that's excited, stoked, and psyched.
I didn't want you to come. Talk to Rick.
Truth is, Summer, Boob
World's been at the center
of a few protests
every day for 30 years,
so they've recently rebranded as
a boob empowerment experience,
and if we bring a female,
we get in for free.
So, I'm, like, what, a Coke can
you're taking to Six Flags?
No, 'cause once you get into Six Flags,
you can throw your Coke can away.
No [BLEEP] way.
It can't be.
- Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit.
- Oh, look at that.
- What is it?
- It's a GoTron ferret.
It's not a GoTron ferret, Morty.
It's the blue GoTron ferret.
- Boob World is canceled.
- No, Rick, no.
You promised. You always do this.
Tell you what, Morty,
I'll let you choose.
- Do you really think Boob World
- Yes.
- Let me finish. Is more important
- Yes.
Let me finish! Than have all five
of the only five GoTron ferrets
in the universe?
Are you finished? Yes. So, let's go.
Summer, help me hook the
winch up to the ferret.
- Sure.
- What the hell?!
You said you were letting me choose.
Yeah, whether to break my [BLEEP] heart.
You chose badly.
MORTY: That's how it all began.
To my sister, it was just another game.
But what she didn't know
SUMMER: That was the
moment everything changed.
- MORTY: Wait. What?
- I had gotten my first taste of respect
and my first voiceover.
- I can hear you. Can you hear me?
- And I knew then and there
I wanted more of both.
Hello?
♪
♪
♪
Beth, Jerry, do something fun with us.
A giant monster is attacking
in the Nibblenug system.
Your suits are in the bathroom.
Mine smells skeletony.
I have a chiropractor appointment.
What are you involving us in?
Rick's been collecting GoTron ferrets,
and now that he has all five,
we can combine them into
- Morty, for Christ's sake spoilers.
- Spoilers, Morty.
We don't need to sell this to anyone.
There's a giant monster attacking.
In the Nibblenug system.
Since when does this house
care about alien lives.
We don't even watch British television.
Told you. Let's just get
Gene from next door
- and a homeless guy.
- No. Hold on.
[BLEEP] Gene. [BLEEP] the homeless.
Your kids and their grandpa
are asking you to do
an activity with them.
When did that stop being
a parent's wettest dream?
I guess around the time our family
created a giant incest baby,
and the government
launched it into space.
Oh, my God, we made a giant incest baby.
Oh, my God, you might be a clone.
I exist because you guys
failed to abort me.
We get the family we get,
not the one we want.
And if you want to keep the one you got,
get your asses into
some anime spacesuits.
- Fair enough.
- Okay.
- Good work, Summer Camp.
- Yeah.
I'm exci-toked about this.
Sure you are now.
MORTY: Something new was forming,
and I was at the bottom of it.
SUMMER: I let Morty have his voiceover.
It's really all he had left.
Okay, can you hear me or not?
Do you mean can I, Summer, hear you?
No. My voiceover can
hear your voiceover.
- What's the difference?
- One would be telepathy, dumbass.
- Now what?
- Now, we
ALL: Go, Team GoTron!
♪
Where are we zip-lining through
futuristic metallic tunnels to?
Each robot ferret is at a
different location on Earth.
You're going to the center of a volcano.
Thank you?
♪
♪
♪
♪
- Okay, well, this isn't not fun.
- Regroup on me.
I'll shoot a portal to Nibblenug.
Did I just monorail from
my kitchen to Hawaii
just to regroup in outer
space above my kitchen?
- Uh, Summer?
- It's cool, Dad. Shut up.
♪
Everybody, attack one at a time!
Is that the best way to
Tee up something awesome?
Yes. Follow me.
Guys, we did our best,
but there's only one hope.
Activating link-dock.
Inter-Morphs rad-ified.
PostiTrinos maximized.
♪
Holy [BLEEP], I-I can't
believe this is working.
Go, go, team! It's GoTron time!
♪
- Oh, my God. Hell yes!
- This is amazing!
Okay, now we can knock
it around a little bit,
but trust me, we're still
building to something.
- How do we
- Just hit buttons.
We're too big to fail.
♪
I kicked him! That was me, right?
MORTY: Uppercut!
I can't believe I almost
went to the chiropractor!
I've been waiting a long time for this.
Form Luminous Energy Sword!
That's your ass, Mamma Jamma.
[ALL TALKING]
[ALL TALKING]
MORTY: I-I feel so alive.
MORTY: These were the good times,
when we felt like we could do anything.
But anything is never quite everything.
And pretty soon
That was nothing nothing
compared to what we can do.
There are infinite universes
where I still don't
have all five ferrets.
Th-th-those versions of me
would do anything to
complete their collections.
Okay, but Rick, remember what
you told me to remind you?
Sometimes, enough is
Sometimes, enough is enough.
Morty, what are you doing?
He gets obsessed, Summer.
- When are you going to find your shame?
- I have more.
Grandpa just gave everybody
the high point of their lives,
and before he did,
every single one of you
was trying to talk him out of it.
Wait. Yeah. Wha-wha-what the [BLEEP]!
Now, he says we can go
higher, and big surprise,
it's time to drag him down again.
- Well, I vote
- No voting. No debate.
It's not a democracy. It's a Rickpublic.
You're in or you're out.
Obviously, I'm in.
I never said I wasn't in.
Me, neither. Tell us
what we're doing next.
Uh, I want to put together a cookout.
That's it? I was honestly
prepared to blow someone.
- Jerry.
- I said "prepared" and "someone."
♪
MORTY: Rick invited five
versions of our family
from different universes,
each with incomplete GoTrons.
I didn't have anyone to talk to,
since the other four Mortys
had been to Boob World.
Did you walk on the beach?
The beach that's all boobs?
No, the beach that's all sand.
- Yes, the boob one!
- Rick was in the garage
with the heads of the five families.
Ugh, and Summer.
SUMMER: In that first sit-down,
it was Big Fat Rick,
Ricardo Montaya, Hot Head Rick
he got that name because he was
prone to dramatic outbursts,
and Lil' Ricky Wrap-it-Up,
who was always great at
the end of a meeting.
At the head of it all,
me and Grandpa Rick.
Now, don't get me wrong, C137,
we're happy for your good fortune.
But we did not travel to your universe
just to have it rubbed in our faces.
Come on, Big Fat Rick,
you know your face
is too small to rub anything on.
My face is the same size as yours.
Wow. Huh. Hold on.
I'll be damned.
You're so fat you're
an optical illusion.
Summer, give 'em the pitch.
We're offering to help
each of your families
complete their full GoTrons.
[ALL TALKING]
In exchange for some concessions.
Ever since I was a
little boy in the slums,
I have dreamed of having
a complete GoTron.
But concessions?
I hope you mean the kind from a counter.
I hope she means ice cream!
We'd like you to relocate your
families to this universe,
and let me make some
modifications to the GoTrons
in the interest of us
all working together.
- Want to know what I think?
- Sure, Hothead Rick,
just don't unexpectedly
fly off the handle.
I think you guys got a lot of
nerve acting better than us!
This is the family that
made a giant incest baby!
Had the government launch it into space!
It's still floatin' around
out there somewhere!
Are we ever gonna live that down?
If I get a full GoTron,
it won't be by kissing your ass,
it'll be by taking what's mine yours!
Hey! Gross! No need.
And you were driving a ferret?
We all are, moron! Give me key!
You'll regret this,
you level-headed [BLEEP].
Obviously, we predicted
that might happen,
which is why we have
Yo-Yo Rick on standby.
Anybody got beef with Yo-Yo?
- [ALL MURMUR]
- Some people think he's lame,
but to me, he's lame in a cool
way because he owns it.
Cool. That concludes business.
Lil' Ricky Wrap it Up?
Raise 'em up, boys! Oh-pah!
SUMMER: And so, we helped
our people find their ferrets.
How they got them, not our problem.
Then, we got down to business.
Here's how it worked
if a giant monster attacked your planet,
we all got the alert.
MAN: Hey, hey, mama mia's ♪
Got a plate of spaghetti
for the takin' ♪
Papa pia's got a great
big robot that he's makin' ♪
I got the moon in both my eyes ♪
You got a bowl of pizza pie, hey! ♪
A bit of pasta with some
anime combined, yeah ♪
We formed five GoTrons.
And those GoTrons formed the GoGoTron.
ALL: Go, GoGoTron!
♪
MAN: Take it away, boys! ♪
RICK: I will never get sick of this!
If you were a giant
monster at that time,
in our universe, you never had a chance.
MAN: A bit of pasta with
some anime combined ♪
'Cause we're two genres, but
each one is intertwined, yeah ♪
Mine needs a weapon like a Yo-Yo.
And a Yo-Yo on the chest.
Are you listening to me?
I-I need you to respect
this partnership.
I kept Rick removed from the ugly stuff.
If you got in his way,
I got you out of the way.
And that made more room to move up.
The head of my right arm.
MORTY: Me? I ended up the
left foot of the left foot
I guess because our robot
didn't have an [BLEEP].
SUMMER: Well, it had one.
Bitch! When are you gonna
stop breaking my balls?
- You win, okay?
- We're not competing, Morty.
And there's your answer.
I could move you up
if I could trust you
to put family first.
H-how is that putting family first?
Show me all the blueprints!
Show me all the blueprints!
I agree. That's an issue.
Big Fat Rick, his flask stays full
or your locker gets empty. Thanks.
I know it feels good when he likes you,
but that doesn't mean him
liking you makes you good.
Solid babble, Morty like a
fortune cookie written by Borat.
Yeah, I'm not as smart as you.
That's why I know you know what I mean.
You mean, if I really loved my family,
I'd give control of it back
to your jealous ass.
Green Ferret Four needs a wash,
and we're out of detergent.
- I just bought a box.
- And Grandpa snorted it
- because you make him feel fenced in.
- RICK: Sum-Sum?
Get two boxes.
SUMMER: We evacuated one
of the planets we saved,
and built a secret nightclub on it,
a place no enemies could find us
unless you count my brother.
MORTY: I didn't even have
my own ferret anymore.
Summer made me something called
an "associate security chief"
whatever the hell that means.
RICK: Look at this guy.
And look at this guy.
Look-look at this guy over here.
[VOCALIZES]
Oh, there she is! My Baby Princess!
Get up here. Stop the music.
This. Is. Our. Queef O-our Queen.
She saved my life. She-she set me free.
We wouldn't have what we have
without this crazy bitch.
And she's got a special announcement.
Summer, tell 'em wha-what
we talked about.
Now? I don't think
Okay, I'll do it. God damn.
MORTY: The new job
did have some perks
like, I got to be around
the night Summer realized
- she was in over her head.
- Okay, okay, I've got 90 extra ferrets,
which means I need 10 more,
and then four of you get
your own GoGoTron,
and 20% of you get a GoTron,
'cause we're all gonna have
a [BLEEP] GoGoGoTron.
He's very excited. Um
Oh-pah!
[SIGHS]
I hate my family.
You should. Get in.
How's it going with your
grandpa's compulsiveness?
Is your sister still enabling it? Huh?
Who are you people?
Let's just say we're the rightful
owners of these ferrets.
Then, why were they scattered,
and buried across the universe?
We mean in a more general,
cultural sense. Arrrgh!
What your grandpa did is
called "appropriation."
Not cool! Hunnnnngh!
Look, Morty, we've been watching.
We know you're the one
that knows what's best.
Work with us from the inside.
Help us take over this operation.
We're literally designed
for it. Mm-hmmmmmm!
Nobody will know it was you.
Then, you can get back
to what's important.
Are those Boob Bucks?
Legal tender at every
kiosk and ride! Huuunh!
I can't.
Summer's treating me like shit,
but she's still my sister.
That's really noble, Morty.
If you were in our family,
your loyalty would be rewarded.
But you're not in our family,
- which means we can kill you.
- Oh, yeah?
[GRUNTING]
[SCREAMS]
MORTY: And sure enough,
just when I stuck my
neck out for the family,
it got stomped on anyway.
- Dad!
- Mom! Dad!
Hothead Rick, baby!
[SCREAMS]
I set myself up for that! [SCREAMS]
- What the hell happened?!
- Hothead Rick.
How did he get so close to us?
- Morty was supposed to be security!
- Morty?
I-I-I stepped away, all right?
But-but not to let that happen!
Morty, we're not attractive strangers
next to you on a flight to Paris,
traveling alone to get over a breakup,
so this is no time to be coy!
- Oh pah.
- Lil' Ricky.
I'm all wrapped up, Summer.
Guys, I know you don't trust me,
but what have we become?
Why are we doing this anymore?
Because it's fun, you little rat.
Now go home, and play video games
while we clean up these bodies,
or your mother and I will hire
people to break your knees!
This is $16,000 we got
from the deep state
for stepping on that trailer park.
That should be enough for
school lunch and home repairs.
- Now, I gotta turn my back on you.
- No!
- [SOBBING]
- SUMMER: With Morty out of the way,
things were looking up.
But looks aren't everything.
Hi, Summer.
Um, my cockpit's not getting Wi-Fi.
Dad, you know that's not
what I do around here.
Oh, I'm not your dad.
I'm a version of him.
This is my first day here,
and I-I'm not sure what
you do around here.
- Then [BLEEP] off.
- Oh, [BLEEP] you.
Excuse me? I want your ID.
Mom. Are you Mom?
Can you control your rookie Jerrys?
Sweetie, we're all a little overwhelmed.
Good point. You're not a war-time mom.
Why don't you find your version of Dad,
and take a break, take a holiday?
I don't have time to wait
for your confirmation,
so let's just say, if you're
here in 10 minutes,
I'll have you removed.
And then, the GoTrons make the GoTrons,
make the GoTrons, make the GoTrons.
Couple of snags, but I know
how to speed things up.
- [BURPS]
- Remember when we talked
about how the best thing we could do
for the family is to recruit
outside the family?
Yes. Way ahead of you.
Summer, I want you to meet Kendra.
She's from a temp agency.
She's got an entire
workforce ready to go,
and all of them have previous
giant robot pilot experience.
So, we'll be ready to
go ahead of schedule.
Well, I don't know about that, but
Well, Kendra knows. So
So
You here to break my legs?
No. We're here to talk
shit about your sister,
because she just fired us.
- You're kidding.
- Arrogant little bitch.
- Should we clip her?
- No. She's not worth doing time.
You wouldn't do time.
You brought her into the world.
So, I can take her out.
You thought there was an actual law?
It's a joke mothers say.
What kind of [BLEEP] up world
have you been living in?
Uh, one where your mother murdering you
isn't a comedic premise?
Guys, there's a little
adjustment period,
but pretty soon, you're
gonna to return to normal,
and you're not going
to want to kill Summer.
You're not even gonna be mad at her.
Nah, [BLEEP] her. She's my enemy.
Should we kill ourselves, so
we can get to hell before her,
- and hide near the entrance?
- Uh. I like that.
Rick fired me. [SOBBING]
- Oh, baby.
- Oh, sweetie.
I'm sorry.
Are you okay, baby? What happened to us?
We lost our minds.
I did it. Morty was right.
I got addicted to making Grandpa happy.
It's only because your grandpa
inflates the value of his happiness.
That's a good point. I mean, look at me.
I'm easy to make happy,
which is why nobody
gives a shit if I am.
I appreciate it, but there's
something else too.
I've been really sensitive
about family lately
because of something
I've been keeping secret.
Okay. Who's on the Supreme Court,
and what state do we live in?
It's been years since
I've thought about this.
No, I'm not pregnant.
But as you guys recall, and as a
lot of people keep bringing up,
Morty and I did accidentally
create a giant incest baby,
which the government
did launch into space.
And I'm not sure how to tell you this,
but it is still alive, and I have
been in contact with it.
There were soldiers waiting for
me outside school last month.
They took me to the Pentagon,
and briefed me.
And from there, I was shuttled
to a secret base on Mars.
They had captured him,
and wanted to see if he'd respond to me,
instinctively, being his mother.
And he sure did.
But what they didn't expect
was that I'd respond to him.
I was supposed to help discipline him,
so they could turn him
into the ultimate weapon.
Instead, I trained him to
love, to believe in himself,
and finally, to escape.
The government doesn't want
anyone to know it happened,
but it's only a matter of time
before the story comes out.
And when it does, all we're
going to have is each other.
And you guys are a couple,
and Rick has Morty,
but I'm the odd one out.
So, I wanted to make
sure we stuck together.
But instead, I drove us apart,
and Rick replaced me with an anime girl,
so all I've got is myself
and my giant, tortured,
government-trained rogue
incest monster baby
out there in space somewhere.
Oh, baby. What the [BLEEP].
And then, you have to wonder,
what else are they doing with our taxes?
Wait. Summer, what did you just say?
Morty, a lot.
He replaced you with an anime girl?
Big eyes? Plus signs for teeth?
Ends sentences with weird
sounds that don't fit?
Yeah. That's going to
be his whole crew now.
And they're about to run their
first test on the GoGoGoTron.
Those people want to steal the robots.
Th-they're gonna kill
Rick. He's all alone.
We-we-we've got to go save him.
Right. Or you know, [BLEEP] him.
- I'm good with that.
- Yeah, [BLEEP] him.
Guys, a great leader once told me
you get the family you get.
♪
RICK: All right. It works. Now, we
just got to find a giant monster.
My sensors have picked one up, Rick.
- Okay. Okay Lock onto its location.
- Yeah, got it.
- Oh, it's you!
- Huh?
What the hell is this?
Thanks for making the
biggest robot ever, Rick.
We'll take it from here.
- You little assholes!
-
- You son of a bitch!
-
♪
Lock a load, boys.
Say "hello" to my little me.
[GUN RICK SAYS "BANG" REPEATEDLY"]
[LAUGHS]
Give up, old man. The G3 is ours.
And last I checked,
your "family" wasn't coming
to save you, hmm?
GIANT INCEST BABY: Go go goo goo.
Holy mother of mercy!
My God. It's beautiful.
♪
Yeah! Family!
- Is that
- It's exactly what it looks like.
- Yes.
- Congrats, man.
I see the resemblance.
Form the Energy Sword!
Activate the goddamn sword!
Oh, man, the sword.
Maybe we didn't think this through.
They're not actually gonna
attack a space baby, are they?
I never thought I'd be
the one to say this,
but you need to watch more anime, Mom.
Whoa, easy now, Naruto.
[ALL YELL]
Bahbah go bye-bye!
[ALL SCREAM]
KENDRA: What the hell is
wrong with you people?!
You just have an incest space monster
in your back pocket, huh?
Welcome to the Smith family.
[YELLS]
Shit. Put that down, Naruto.
Your great-grandpa is in there.
What do you say? One last zipline?
Incest space baby. Nicely done.
MORTY: After that, things pretty
much went back to normal
some version of it, anyway.
Rick said GoTrons were
lame little kid bull[BLEEP],
and we never talked about them again.
SUMMER: Except all those
gigantic space bugs
were still runnin' loose, and
there were no GoTrons left
to fight them.
MORTY: Yeah, millions die every day.
SUMMER: But you want to know
what they could never kill?
Family.
- Where's Jerry?
- Help!
Help! I'm still out here!
[YELLS]
MORTY: Yep, nothing's
more important than
Hey! Hey! Whoa-whoa-whoa!
Ugh!
And just like that, I knew our
goose was as cooked as
Voiceovarians. Ugh.
Magic sights, exciting sounds ♪
Come day or night, and feel around ♪
This is the world for you ♪
No matter where you've ever been ♪
This is the place
your life begiii-i-ins ♪
Boob World ♪
Boob World ♪
It's a world for you,
but it's actually two ♪
Boob Wo-o-orld ♪
- Samansky, you're late!
- Won't happen again, sir!
[ALL TALKING]
Bugs, look to your left.
Now, look to your right.
None of you are coming back. Not one.
In the entire history of this program,
not a single bug has returned.
All right. Bring it in! What are we?
- Normal-sized bugs!
- What do we do?
Travel through an
interdimensional gateway
to a planet with tiny people!
- Why do we do it?
- To spread the cure for AIDS!
Hey, Sarge, how do we know
if these little people
can understand us?
I mean, do these even speak Buganese?
Funny, Palicki. That's
why we say it very loud.
Guys, you'll still be the same
civilized bug on their side.
It's not like interdimensional travel
strips us of our clothes, and
makes us screaming monsters.
Or maybe it does.
It's impossible to know.
Now, get out of here!
My clothes where'd they go?
MAN: Did you get any of that?