Robot Chicken s05e07 Episode Script
Schindler's Bucket List
It's alive! Bass with a bass, bass bass with a bass, come on bass with a bass, bass Kristi? Jamal? Come on, you guys! This isn't funny! Aaaah! Aaaaaaaaaaaah! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Kristi? Jamal? Come on, you guys! This isn't funny! Aaaah! Aaaaaaaaaaaah! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! All right, Jason! Yeah! Unh! Where does rain come from? It's God just pissing on your dumbass head.
What are you doing with my son? So, with housing starts the lowest they've been since 2003, I thought the interest-only loan was viable.
I mean, did you know the financial crisis of 2008 was caused by unregulated derivatives as much as housing Excuse me.
Hello? Yeah.
My eyes are up here.
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
Oh, yeah.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, listen, what more can I say about a guy who put "commander" in his name? Hey, we get it.
No, but seriously, you're a great Cobra Commander.
You've always been there for me, and I appreciate it.
That was funny.
Hey, thanks for coming out, everybody.
Baroness, I promise I'll make this quick so you can get back to sucking Destro's [bleep.]
I swear, if he wore that helmet on his [bleep.]
she'd have lead poisoning.
Am I right? Hey, Xamot, I hear you experience everything Tomax does.
I guess that means you know what my [bleep.]
tastes like, too.
I see you over there, Serpentor.
Didn't Dr.
Mindbender give you the memo? The hunt's over.
You can stop gathering DNA.
Arr! Arr! Arr! Nice outfit, by the way.
If it were any louder, I'd have to wear earplugs when you suck my [bleep.]
Gee, I wonder what he wanted to say.
"I vant to bend your mind into letting me suck your [bleep.]
" Don't worry.
I haven't forgotten about you, Cobra Commander.
It is your night, after all.
The ruthless terrorist organizer determined to suck my [bleep.]
How dare you! Hey, is your voice okay? Let me get you something for your throat.
My [bleep.]
My [bleep.]
It's working.
Wild Bill's disguise worked! We ruined Cobra Commander's roast! All right! Bill? Start the van.
First division, cha-a-a-rge! General! Major! No! Outranked! Captain.
Colonel.
Nah! Son of a Ha ha ha! Sergeant! Sergeant! Damn it! Aw, come on! Ha ha! Major! Die! Oh, please! I'm I'm just a scout! Captain! Surely, one bomb can't detonate three t Aah! Victory will be ours! Huh? H-hey, guys, I got it! I got their flag! We win! W-what?! You don't win! We're creaming you guys! I got your flag! That means we win! That's total crap! I used a way better strategy! But I used a better stratego.
Baby needs a name, your wish came true.
You have a pet of your berry own.
Yes, strawberry shortcake.
But I have another wish.
I want to have a name of my very own, too.
We should give you a name soon and not leave it open to debate.
Strawberry land is berry sheltered, but it's big world out there, and others might have berry different opinions about what constitutes an appropriate name.
I'm not worried.
Well, I'm just Oh.
Hello, bitch pudding.
Whassup, hoes? Whew! Anyway, I'm sure that one day, someone will give you a name Blam! Your name is [Bleep.]
Face! You [bleep.]
[Bleep.]
Face! Blam! [Bleep.]
Face! Blam! [Bleep.]
Face! Blam, bitches! Da-da-daaaa daaaa Bitch pudding! I am so sorry.
I think she has Asperger's or something.
But don't take it personally, baby needs a name.
No, no.
Call me [Bleep.]
Face.
Mommy, what are eggs? Baby chickens, sweetie.
Do all babies come from eggs? Yes, they do.
Did I come from an egg? You sure did, dear.
Is the mama chicken sad that we're eating her babies? God, I hope so.
A chicken killed your father! Aaaah! Aaaaaaaaaaah! I'm trying to read! Ugh! A rock lord?! Seriously?! [Bleep.]
you both.
You know, in some countries, little boys are grateful for rock lords.
Oh, yeah? What countries? Oh, a rock lord! Thank you, mother! Thank you, father! I am so very grateful to have such thoughtful parents.
Rock lords! They hurt like a [bleep.]
For my next feat, I will walk across hot coals while explaining what the hell I am.
No.
For your next feat, you die! Aaah! Gonzo died as he lived, and our family will never be whole again.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, Mr.
Steve Martin! Yaaay! I shall not want.
He makes me lie down Ooh! Are we burying him in a Sybian? You know, the last time a Muppet died was Excuse me! Don't you mean "Excu-u-u-u-se me!" No! This is a funeral! I'm working! Do I come to where you work and knock the [bleep.]
out of your mouth? Wow.
Steve's working blue.
But he's right.
We vowed never to talk about That night.
And then the dad says, "The Aristocrats!" Wakka wakka! Hey, Fozzie, why did the bear turn red? I don't know, stranger.
Because he was "em-bear-rassed.
" Wakka, wakka.
Then how about this because I [bleep.]
stabbed him! Waa-haa! What a showstopper.
See? I told you the bear was gonna die onstage tonight.
Hey, guys can you stop laughing and call me an ambulance? You're an ambulance! First Gonzo, now Fozzie.
- Could we be paying the price for what we did to - Don't say that name, Kermie! Oh! Miss Piggy's telling me what to do! Wow! Hey, everybody! Come here! You got to come see this! Piggy's telling me what to do! Wow! Must be a day that ends in "y"! Hey, uh, Scooter.
Oh, hey, there, boss.
We need to talk about Skeeter's death.
Why, sure.
I love talking about my twin sister.
If not for that tragic accident You know, I'm gonna stop you right there.
I got something I got to tell you.
Let's play "The Little Mermaid"! Let's question Kermit's sexuality! Wakka wakka! Holon.
Let me grab my floaties.
What a nerd.
Moi will play La Petite Mermaid.
Mermaids aren't fat! Wha Yikes! Skeeter, if you only take my advice once in your natural life, take it now.
Walk away.
Ohh! Nanny! Skeeter's hitting us again! Yeah, who's the homo now? Unh! If we do this thing, it's our secret forever.
Nanny! You killed my sister?! Yeah, well, it was of burying the lead here.
We think Skeeter's come back from the grave for revenge! Oh, Skeeter will have her revenge.
Aaaah! Hyah! Wha Here it comes! Showtime! You can't shoot me.
Chickens don't even have fingers.
Ohh! That bit never gets old.
Ba-bawk bawk bawk ba-bawk bawk bawk ba-bawk bawk bawk ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk ba-bawk bawk bawk ba-bawk bawk bawk ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!
What are you doing with my son? So, with housing starts the lowest they've been since 2003, I thought the interest-only loan was viable.
I mean, did you know the financial crisis of 2008 was caused by unregulated derivatives as much as housing Excuse me.
Hello? Yeah.
My eyes are up here.
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
Oh, yeah.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, listen, what more can I say about a guy who put "commander" in his name? Hey, we get it.
No, but seriously, you're a great Cobra Commander.
You've always been there for me, and I appreciate it.
That was funny.
Hey, thanks for coming out, everybody.
Baroness, I promise I'll make this quick so you can get back to sucking Destro's [bleep.]
I swear, if he wore that helmet on his [bleep.]
she'd have lead poisoning.
Am I right? Hey, Xamot, I hear you experience everything Tomax does.
I guess that means you know what my [bleep.]
tastes like, too.
I see you over there, Serpentor.
Didn't Dr.
Mindbender give you the memo? The hunt's over.
You can stop gathering DNA.
Arr! Arr! Arr! Nice outfit, by the way.
If it were any louder, I'd have to wear earplugs when you suck my [bleep.]
Gee, I wonder what he wanted to say.
"I vant to bend your mind into letting me suck your [bleep.]
" Don't worry.
I haven't forgotten about you, Cobra Commander.
It is your night, after all.
The ruthless terrorist organizer determined to suck my [bleep.]
How dare you! Hey, is your voice okay? Let me get you something for your throat.
My [bleep.]
My [bleep.]
It's working.
Wild Bill's disguise worked! We ruined Cobra Commander's roast! All right! Bill? Start the van.
First division, cha-a-a-rge! General! Major! No! Outranked! Captain.
Colonel.
Nah! Son of a Ha ha ha! Sergeant! Sergeant! Damn it! Aw, come on! Ha ha! Major! Die! Oh, please! I'm I'm just a scout! Captain! Surely, one bomb can't detonate three t Aah! Victory will be ours! Huh? H-hey, guys, I got it! I got their flag! We win! W-what?! You don't win! We're creaming you guys! I got your flag! That means we win! That's total crap! I used a way better strategy! But I used a better stratego.
Baby needs a name, your wish came true.
You have a pet of your berry own.
Yes, strawberry shortcake.
But I have another wish.
I want to have a name of my very own, too.
We should give you a name soon and not leave it open to debate.
Strawberry land is berry sheltered, but it's big world out there, and others might have berry different opinions about what constitutes an appropriate name.
I'm not worried.
Well, I'm just Oh.
Hello, bitch pudding.
Whassup, hoes? Whew! Anyway, I'm sure that one day, someone will give you a name Blam! Your name is [Bleep.]
Face! You [bleep.]
[Bleep.]
Face! Blam! [Bleep.]
Face! Blam! [Bleep.]
Face! Blam, bitches! Da-da-daaaa daaaa Bitch pudding! I am so sorry.
I think she has Asperger's or something.
But don't take it personally, baby needs a name.
No, no.
Call me [Bleep.]
Face.
Mommy, what are eggs? Baby chickens, sweetie.
Do all babies come from eggs? Yes, they do.
Did I come from an egg? You sure did, dear.
Is the mama chicken sad that we're eating her babies? God, I hope so.
A chicken killed your father! Aaaah! Aaaaaaaaaaah! I'm trying to read! Ugh! A rock lord?! Seriously?! [Bleep.]
you both.
You know, in some countries, little boys are grateful for rock lords.
Oh, yeah? What countries? Oh, a rock lord! Thank you, mother! Thank you, father! I am so very grateful to have such thoughtful parents.
Rock lords! They hurt like a [bleep.]
For my next feat, I will walk across hot coals while explaining what the hell I am.
No.
For your next feat, you die! Aaah! Gonzo died as he lived, and our family will never be whole again.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, Mr.
Steve Martin! Yaaay! I shall not want.
He makes me lie down Ooh! Are we burying him in a Sybian? You know, the last time a Muppet died was Excuse me! Don't you mean "Excu-u-u-u-se me!" No! This is a funeral! I'm working! Do I come to where you work and knock the [bleep.]
out of your mouth? Wow.
Steve's working blue.
But he's right.
We vowed never to talk about That night.
And then the dad says, "The Aristocrats!" Wakka wakka! Hey, Fozzie, why did the bear turn red? I don't know, stranger.
Because he was "em-bear-rassed.
" Wakka, wakka.
Then how about this because I [bleep.]
stabbed him! Waa-haa! What a showstopper.
See? I told you the bear was gonna die onstage tonight.
Hey, guys can you stop laughing and call me an ambulance? You're an ambulance! First Gonzo, now Fozzie.
- Could we be paying the price for what we did to - Don't say that name, Kermie! Oh! Miss Piggy's telling me what to do! Wow! Hey, everybody! Come here! You got to come see this! Piggy's telling me what to do! Wow! Must be a day that ends in "y"! Hey, uh, Scooter.
Oh, hey, there, boss.
We need to talk about Skeeter's death.
Why, sure.
I love talking about my twin sister.
If not for that tragic accident You know, I'm gonna stop you right there.
I got something I got to tell you.
Let's play "The Little Mermaid"! Let's question Kermit's sexuality! Wakka wakka! Holon.
Let me grab my floaties.
What a nerd.
Moi will play La Petite Mermaid.
Mermaids aren't fat! Wha Yikes! Skeeter, if you only take my advice once in your natural life, take it now.
Walk away.
Ohh! Nanny! Skeeter's hitting us again! Yeah, who's the homo now? Unh! If we do this thing, it's our secret forever.
Nanny! You killed my sister?! Yeah, well, it was of burying the lead here.
We think Skeeter's come back from the grave for revenge! Oh, Skeeter will have her revenge.
Aaaah! Hyah! Wha Here it comes! Showtime! You can't shoot me.
Chickens don't even have fingers.
Ohh! That bit never gets old.
Ba-bawk bawk bawk ba-bawk bawk bawk ba-bawk bawk bawk ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk ba-bawk bawk bawk ba-bawk bawk bawk ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!