Search Party (2016) s05e07 Episode Script

1 [DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
I mean, how did it happen? She obviously had unmet needs.
I've known Benny Balthazar for 12 years.
I could never have imagined that she would have done anything like that.
She was boring.
O-okay, I-I need to come clean.
She was in love with my friend, Dr.
Carpet.
And he was, like, leading her on.
It's all his fault! It's this dastardly workplace environment.
And we have it all on camera.
You see how horrid this place is.
Scientists bungeeing to their deaths on a whim and petite lesbians poisoning one another! Okay, you guys really need to stop gaslighting me on this.
You were literally holding poison.
You were [INDISTINCT MOCKING.]
You know, there's good attention and bad attention.
This has quickly become very bad attention.
I've never been associated with anything like this in my life.
I hate to say this, but, Dory Sief, I'm removing you from this company.
- What? - And I think that you need to leave the premises immediately.
Are you serious? You cannot remove Dory from this company.
Do you even understand what she knows and what she sees? Oh, my God, no, you have to stop believing in her.
She's insane, and anyone who believes her is insane.
- All right, settle down.
- Can I get in the circle? This is all too much, not my brand.
Wait, Dory, we can't stop now.
We did it.
I know we did it.
It's okay.
It's okay.
Dory, please don't make this more difficult than it needs to be.
[QUIETLY.]
There we go.
I'm sorry.
It gives me no pleasure to have things end this way.
I wish it all worked out differently.
Yeah.
But Tunnel, I want to thank you for the teachings.
Okay.
What are you doing? Ms.
Sief, did you just lock that door? This is not the time for games.
Open the door.
I won't be leaving until the job is done.
What? Hey, don't what? Open the door.
Don't walk away from me.
[PURITY RING'S "OBEDEAR" PLAYING.]
Oh, but, dear, the sky is low There's you, there's you, there's me, and there's a bunch of people marching with impaled heads.
Is this Brooklyn? - Drew, this is art.
- It's actually good.
I think it could be, like, a classic.
Well, it was totally alive and in perfect health.
- [WHISPERS.]
Hi.
- You're back? - Yes.
Ritchie, listen.
- I need you to find a way to make some kind of lethal weapon out of that lab.
- A lethal weapon? - Yeah.
We're not gonna hurt anyone.
It's just to make a point.
- Yeah.
Okay, I can do that.
- All right, act fast.
Go and get your passport.
The plane waits us at Teterboro.
I've burned it, Mummy, so that I'd never - have to go back.
- What? Hey, I thought you were escorted out? - I'm back.
- Listen, I need you to get enough duct tape to detain three people.
But she's evil! Sorry, actually four people.
And get some of the others to help you, all right? We need to act fast, but make sure that nobody gets hurt in the process.
Okay.
Wait, what? The meditation room is a good place to hold them.
Okay, okay.
[EXHALES.]
[GUNSHOTS.]
- That's my girl.
- That's my girl! I just imagine the Sinister Trinity and, like, just how they think they can just hide their entire agenda from us, and I just let the rage, like, flood me.
And that's exactly why I chose you, Chantal.
Oh, God.
Liquorice, this has truly been the most, like, incredible education of my life.
Like, it actually makes me sick to think about how blind I used to be.
Now that you know so much, why don't you come on full-time as my official intern? You're gonna want to quit your day job.
That's perfect.
I don't work.
[CHUCKLES.]
24 hours a day, wow.
Does that mean I'm gonna have to move in with you? Yeah, probably so, until you're ready to truly protect yourself.
[WHIRRING.]
[GUNSHOTS.]
Dory Sief and her staff at LYTE, the controversial pharmaceutical endeavor have barricaded themselves into their workspace headquarters in Brooklyn, New York today, after scientist Benny Balthazar fell out a window to her death.
Sief has denied access to the building and is holding several innocent bystanders hostage while her staff mans the windows armed with spray bottles filled with sulfuric acid.
The hostages have been identified as the former lover of Ms.
Sief, Drew Gardner, the Grand Duchess and Arch Duchess of Bellhead, Winnifred and Beatrice Hamsdale, and a camera man with no family by the name of Vernon Ankles.
The Hamsdale's were confronting their daughter live as part of a special program for the British network Satellite Four when the event happened.
[GLASS SHATTERS.]
[ALL SCREAM.]
Sief released a public statement across her own social media platforms earlier today, outlining her agenda.
We've discovered a formula for enlightenment, but they're trying to shut us down.
So we've decided to take things into our own hands.
Keep your faith in me, and stay tuned 'cause soon, you will get everything your heart ever wanted.
Let's change the world.
[SIRENS WAILING.]
[VILDE'S "WARM MILK" PLAYING.]
There are entrances here, here, and here, all of which should be avoided because a spray-bottle squirt could reach any of them.
I've met you, city I've met you, city, half a million times Open up! This is insane! Oh, shut up.
Have you never been taken hostage before, dimwit? I guess not, - but I really feel like I have.
- [SIGHS.]
Oh, we're just all, um, truly devastated by the loss of Doctor Benny Balthazar.
Those closest to her knew her, of course, as somebody who is dedicated, um, tremendously to her great work but also somebody who liked a fun party.
You know, she was very popular amongst men.
She will be missed by the thousands.
This incident took place on your watch and people are discussing whether or not you're fit to lead.
What do you have to say about that? A good leader, um, takes risks, and sometimes those risks don't turn out exactly as you'd hope.
But, for right now, I'm working hand in hand with the FBI, who, by the way, doing an absolutely magnificent job.
And I'm gonna be donating a fleet of the new Tunnel XF99 car to be used by the entirety of the NYPD because, well, it's the least that I can do.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
[CROWD CHANTING.]
Dory, Dory, Dory, Dory, Dory, Dory, Dory, Dory, Dory! [MUFFLED CHANTING CONTINUES.]
Hey, everyone.
I just want to take a moment to acknowledge the courage that you are all exhibiting right now in the face of adversity.
It is truly profound.
And I am so honored to work beside you in this critical moment in history.
So take a look around because these are the faces of the people who are strong enough to usher in a new era.
Things are going to get rocky, but you've been preparing for this fight since day one.
'Cause they might try to stop us, but they can never take away our light! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
- Oh, my God.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- This is getting out of hand.
- This is getting out of hand.
Babe, this is the revolution, you know what I mean? We're prepared for this.
We're just in the messy middle right now.
Hey, Portia, - you sound crazy.
- I'm devoted.
Mm-hmm.
You do want the pill, right? Literally more than anything.
I mean, I just don't want to be charged for stowing hostages at acid-point.
I mean, I guess I can talk some reason into her, but she'll probably just lock me up like her little Drew.
Hey, she probably locked Drew up for a very good reason.
And I don't know if it makes you feel better, but I'm really not worried at all.
Look, I want this pill to get made, but if it doesn't, I'm not afraid to say that I was just following orders.
Would you like me to talk to her for you? Mm-mmm.
You're already on thin ice because you poisoned her.
Look, I don't know if you heard, but we actually figured the whole poisoning conversation out and I didn't do it.
Like, everyone knows that I didn't do it.
Like, it wasn't me.
Portia.
It wasn't.
Oh.
Dying for the loo.
I'm sure it's high time we changed your nappy, Mummy.
Oh, I imagine so.
I don't want to die.
I just want to go out to get drinks and hang out for the rest of my life.
I can't cut that short! If we make it out of here, I'm gonna buy you the biggest margarita you've ever seen, okay? Oh.
Help! Hey, Dory, I think some of these people need to pee.
I don't think that's a possibility.
I think they should piss themselves.
Are hostages allowed to pee or should we be doing something else? - I I don't know.
- [PHONE RINGING.]
Hey, Dor, do you want one of our beautiful snacks? No, thank you.
[PHONE RINGING.]
Beautiful snack? - Dory, Dory! - Oh, Ritchie, - deconstructed PB&J? - No! I just want to let you know that we're all set up to replicate the formula, but there's a technical issue with the machine that we're still working on.
Okay, so how long is that going to take? Well, I'm not tech support, but there is a tutorial online that I looked at.
- I'll try my best? - Okay, just hurry.
Hurry, hurry, hurry.
Also, should I answer that or should I let it linger? - Answer it.
- Okay.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Hello, this is LYTE headquarters, birthplace of the forthcoming existential revolution.
This is Orange LYTE speaking.
How can I guide you today? Mm-hmm.
Okay.
It's for you.
- Hello? - Hello, Ms.
Sief, this is Walter Camp with the FBI.
We have the building surrounded, and there's no way you're going to get out of this unless you cooperate.
I'm curious.
Are you crazy or just stupid? What do you want? Let's be reasonable.
There's no way you can get out of this, right? Have you had a look outside? You should take a peek.
It's a quite a scene.
We have a full militia.
We even have snipers all for you.
Well, I'm flattered.
Look, come out now, it won't be that bad on you.
You'll get a year, tops.
And, who knows? Maybe you can charm the jury, like last time.
So what do you say? Do you want to end this before it gets out of hand? What's out of hand is that the human race has been drowning in false ideological structure since the beginning of time.
So what are you going to do about that? - That's a tough one.
- [SNAPS.]
I don't know.
Well, I do.
[SYSTEM POWERING DOWN.]
Did you forget to pay your electric bill, Dor? Please turn the lights back on.
How are you gonna make your pills without electricity? I bet it gets pretty hot up there without AC, right? I hear it's supposed to reach to 101 degrees.
I think I've just pissed myself.
Oh, it's just sweat.
If you had peed yourself, you'd jolly-well know it.
- I definitely went pee-pee.
- [CHUCKLES.]
I thought we all agreed we were just gonna let it go.
What? So I'm the only one who peed his pants? [QUIETLY.]
Okay, Portia, can I talk to you for a second? What did you mean when you said that you and Dory were having sex? - [QUIETLY.]
- I mean, we're girlfriends.
Okay, well I'm pretty sure she's fucking Drew.
Well, so am I.
[LOUDLY.]
What? [QUIETLY.]
It's just what it's like to, like, live this way.
[QUIETLY.]
So you're all just, like, fucking each other? Yeah, but it's also, like, love too.
I'm sorry, am am I hideous? Elliot? Elliot? - Marc? - Elliot? Oh, my God.
- Elliot! - Marc? - Come on, kid.
- Tell him what he needs to hear.
Get him to talk some sense to that girl.
Elliot, baby, it's me, Marc, your life partner.
I know who you are, obviously.
What are you doing here? I'm handling it! They asked me to come here and say a few words to try and get you all to come out.
But I don't care about that.
I need you all to do whatever it takes to make that pill.
Take as long as you need.
- What are you doing? - Hold on.
I am staying at a hotel these days because I'm scared of our son.
He cut me, the entire length of my arm.
But I guess that's why God gave me two arms.
Make that pill, baby, make a bunch of 'em! Are you out of your damn mind? You are the worst hostage loved one in history.
Oh, God.
Okay.
Hey, Dory.
So we have gotta make this pill.
- What can I do to help? - I don't know, okay? I'm just I'm I'm trying to figure that out.
Would it help if we had sex? What? Why would that help? I mean, you tell me.
Like, if it comes down to that in any way just let me know, just 'cause I would hate it if you ever thought that I was someone that you couldn't have sex with.
Okay.
Yeah, thank you for sharing that.
I'm yeah.
Moments ago, the Board of Tunnel Industries announced that they're meeting today to discuss what the future of the company would look like if they moved on without you? Does this mean that you're going to be replaced? [CHUCKLES.]
No, no.
No, that's a formality.
They meet once a week like that.
You know, we're a family, and, uh, what family doesn't discuss ousting the father on a weekly basis? You know, everybody knows there's no Tunnel Industries without Mr.
Tunnel.
[DESOLATE MUSIC.]
It's hot.
Ugh.
Hi.
How you doin'? Uh, well, it's really hot, we're running out of food and water, I have to figure out how to make these pills without electricity, and I have to figure out how to get us all out of here, so it's a lot on my shoulders.
Totally.
Can I talk to you about something? Sure.
I promise that I was not the one poisoning you.
Truly, I would never lie to you about something like this.
I love you so much.
You mean so much to me.
I could never, ever, ever hurt you.
And, if I'm being completely honest, like, it actually really hurt me to think that you could ever think that I could honestly ever do something like that.
I'm sorry, it just It really seemed like you did it, but I know things aren't always as they seem.
I believe you.
Will you forgive me? - Okay, I did it.
- What? - Oh, Portia! - I'm sorry! I did it! I swear that I didn't ever mean to hurt you.
The thing is, like, I need you and I need you to need me and I just could feel you kind of slipping away and I just don't know who I am without you.
- Hey, it's okay.
It's okay.
- Do you forgive me, please? I feel really bad.
Do you forgive me? Sure.
- Really? - Yeah.
Can we be girlfriends again? - Portia - Hi.
so, guys, tonight for dinner we have to have all the perishable stuff and then we can dig into the chips and all that jellybean-like stuff.
- [GASPS.]
Wait! - Do we still have gas? Maybe we could make, like, enlightenment jellybeans.
[MUSIC.]
Is that crazy? I don't see why it wouldn't work.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
I'm bursting.
I'm going to burst! Go ahead and burst.
- You didn't burst yet? - I already burst it twice.
No bursting! Guys, come on, for the love of God! Let us out! We have basic human needs.
[GLASS THUDDING.]
Come on! [WHISPERING.]
They're gonna, like, break down the glass.
- Damn, they're so privileged.
- Come on! Please, we're not gonna try any bullshit.
I swear to God! We just want to use the bathroom.
What's going on? They're bitching about using the bathroom.
Dory, please, there are elderly women in here.
I hope you're not referring to me.
- Oh, of course, of course.
- Marty, Winnie, why don't you just show 'em where the bathroom is? - What's the big deal? - When I asked Never mind, it's fine.
It's inhumane, okay? Just take 'em to the bathroom.
Thank you.
Okay, no funny business, all right? - How's it going in here? - Pretty good.
It's a bit of a production, but we're about ready to make the beans.
Okay, it smells good.
- Would you lean back? - Put the acid down.
That was brilliant.
- Oh, oh, thank you.
- Of course.
No big deal.
So tell me, have you ever been to Bellhead County? You know, actually, I haven't.
- Mm.
- Can you, like, tell me something about it that, like, I wouldn't know? Well, there's hundreds of thousands of accounts that Bellhead is a portal to hell! - Oh, my God, right? - [GRUNTS.]
- [SPRITZER SPRAYS.]
- [SCREAMS.]
He sprayed acid on my arm! - My fucking arm! - Okay, okay.
Okay! - On my fucking arm! [SOBS.]
- Come here, come here.
Here you go, pal.
I'm so sorry, guys.
I thought this was the closed position, you know? - Stop pointing it at me now.
- What happened? What happened? - It was him! - It wasn't my fault! It wasn't my fault! They tried to escape and then the Grand Duchess came in and she hit me in the head with a toilet seat! I'm a good person, I promise! I'm just a DJ! We're just getting word that it seems that someone has been injured.
We don't know if it's a member of the Royal Family or Drew Gardner or if it's the other one, but we can confirm that one of the hostages has been sprayed with acid and could be injured.
[SCREAMING.]
I feel literally so bad.
Let me buy you a drink when this is all over, okay? - It's just pain.
- It's not real, okay? Breathe.
Breathe through it.
[PHONE RINGING.]
What? You're losing your grip on the situation, Dory.
People are getting hurt, and that's making me look bad.
Why don't we get on the same page here? Everything's going as it should.
Save it, Dory.
You dug yourself a deep hole, and there's no way out.
Why don't you just give up while you behind You'll need to strip naked on my stoop and throw it all in the neighbor's trash before coming in.
Hm.
Lies.
[CHUCKLES.]
Coercion.
Oh.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
What? It's a letter from myself, - from the future.
- [GASPS.]
The future? I've been getting them ever since I was a little girl.
- [GASPS.]
- Oh, my God, what? What? - It's about you.
- Me? It says that you are to have a child, a boy.
And that that boy will bring about the end of the world.
- [GASPS.]
- No! What? No! You mate with a man named John Halwood.
Oh, Jesus.
- This is more than I - Than I know what to do with! [BOTH SOBBING.]
He needs to go to the hospital.
I know a third-degree burn when I see it.
Now, make me in charge of this.
This needs to stop right now, Dory, all right? You need to get it together.
Dory, what are you doing? We don't even know if this pill that you're making works.
It does.
I know it does.
There are moments in the timeline of humanity where we've needed to take a leap of faith to keep going.
This is just one of those times.
What you're saying is delusional.
Come on, Dory, you basically killed your own doctor.
If he killed himself, and that is true, then that is absolutely heartbreaking.
But all I am responsible for is sharing my own experience.
You need real help, all right? You're a danger to yourself and to others.
What you believe to be reality is not reality.
You're right, my reality is different than yours and most people's, because most people are living in an illusion.
I know because I used to live in that illusion, but now I see the truth.
And the truth is that the world is sick, and it needs medicine, Drew.
That's reality.
Then why are people getting hurt? Because people are scared.
'Cause we'd rather be in pain than find out who we really are.
Dory - I'm tapped out.
- I know.
No, I don't think that you do know.
Okay? 'Cause you're everywhere.
You're in my thoughts, you're in my dreams.
I try to shower you off, and it doesn't work.
'Cause every single time I think that I get out, I look around and I realize I'm right back in it.
Okay? And it is torture.
[SIGHS.]
I can't help you anymore.
You're upset because you want to be strong enough to let me go.
You keep thinking that if she does one more bad thing then that'll be the proof I need to know that she's bad.
But there's never enough proof, is there? Because I'm not bad and that's why you keep coming back to me.
So if you're gonna come back, then really come back and really help me.
And, if not, then you need to leave forever.
Yikes.
That looks, like, really intense.
I think she's probably honestly telling Drew about how she loved me more.
Oh, that sucks for him.
It actually seems like she might be adding me to the mix.
Nothing official yet but I can just tell I've definitely been in her thoughts, so - What? - Yeah.
One second.
Hey, Dory, sexy gal.
Fuck! [CHUCKLES.]
Anyways, so, we are starving, we are hot, and we are humiliated, so we either need to give up and go home or we need to figure out a way to flee.
But right now, this is not working.
- [LINE RINGING.]
- Okay.
Okay.
- Walter? - Yes.
I need a bus.
A classic American school bus from the early '90s that can hold my disciples and a dozen large bags full of jellybeans.
And then I want a plane waiting to take me and my people to Acapulco, Mexico.
What do you say I trade you some hostages for our freedom? It's with great sobriety that I, Tunnel Aloysius Quinn, have chosen to step down, effective immediately, as the CEO and founder of Tunnel Industries.
While I've poured my heart and soul into building this company, which started in my grandmother's basement, I see now that the simpler things in life are what matter most to me, like watching it rain or enjoying the silence of an empty room or understanding that I don't matter to anybody.
I'm gonna spend the rest of my days enjoying meals and finding out if I have any children out there.
Thank you so much.
And good luck to us all in this grand experiment.
Uh, it's so nice out, I think I'll walk.
Thank you so much.
Oh, my God.
You guys made so much.
- I'm truly impressed.
- Thank you! Once we figured out the jellybeans, it was go, go, go.
Okay.
So it's time to put these two together.
Remember, if they jiggle, they break.
Any of it splashes out and these chemicals combine, we're all dead, okay? Okay.
Okay, everybody, grab two bags.
Do not spill.
Hostages, you stand together.
And, disciples, do not dillydally.
- Okay, come on, guys.
- Let's move, please.
[TENSE MUSIC.]
I've got the target.
- Stay close.
- Stay close.
Get back.
- Walter, be careful.
- She's got enough ammonium nitrate on her to blow your head off.
Stand down! Stand down.
Move.
Got it.
Got it.
Okay? Stop.
Keys to the bus.
There's a plane waiting for you at a private airport.
Keys first.
Once everyone's on safely, then I'll let them go.
[TENSE MUSIC.]
Move.
Everybody on.
Stop.
Help my mother! [ENGINE TURNS OVER.]
Why is it stopped? [DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
[SCREAMS.]
[SINGING FUNKY UPBEAT SONG IN FRENCH.]