The Batman (2004) s05e07 Episode Script
Ring Toss
BOY: Hey, Grayson.
How about a little game of B-ball? Yeah, sure.
What's that? My ride.
What do you do, work in a funeral home? I'll never fit in if the other kids see me riding in a limousine.
It isn't normal.
You flit around the city every night in tights and a cape.
Is that normal? I could've gotten home on my own.
Not today, I'm afraid.
Remember, you and Master Bruce must attend that charity party this evening.
DICK: I was hoping he'd be too busy.
ALFRED: Actually, he's in the Batcave at this very moment with one of those gents from the Justice Club.
- You mean league? Which one? - The green one.
- Martian Manhunter? - No.
- Green Arrow? - No, the other chap.
Green Lantern? Oh, man, floor it.
Have you found anything yet? No, my system is scanning the visual galaxy and there's no sign of any unusual energy signatures there.
I wish we could be sure.
I am sure.
- The equipment is state of the art.
- Maybe on Earth.
But we're not dealing someone from Earth.
If only the Watchtower's sensors weren't off-line for repairs.
Exactly who is this Sinestro? He was a member of the Green Lantern Corps until he got power hungry and tried to wipe us out.
- We locked him away, but-- - Sounds like it didn't take.
No.
Attention, all Green Lanterns.
Sinestro of Korugar has escaped his stasis cell.
If you have any contact with him, notify-- Why do you think he's coming here? Sinestro and I have a history.
[ELEVATOR APPROACHING.]
Green Lantern, you're really here.
- I am such a fan.
- Dick.
- I know, people ask you this all the time.
- Dick.
But, like, if you and Superman were in a fight, which one would--? Dick, go get dressed.
Aw.
You know, I have to go too.
I have to fly a plane home to Coast City.
Why are you flying a plane? In my day job, I'm a test pilot.
Even your secret identity is cool.
Now.
Nice meeting you.
Nice kid.
- I'll keep an eye out for your pal.
- Thanks.
But, Bruce, if you see Sinestro coming, let me know.
Don't try to be a hero.
You'll be the first one I call.
Hmm.
Better dig out the lantern and give this a charge be-- Oof! [GRUNTING.]
[GROANS.]
Surprise.
Hello, old friend.
Unh! I'm not your friend.
No, but you were my best student.
I even offered you a chance to help me bring order to the universe.
- But you defied me.
- Unh! Rallied the other Green Lanterns, ruined everything.
Even so, you couldn't bring yourself to finish me off.
You failed [GRUNTS.]
just as this planet's crude technology failed to detect my arrival.
Now give me your ring.
Why, tired of the one you've got? Not at all.
However, with two rings and twice the power I will destroy the Green Lantern Corps.
And then, well, you know the rest.
Yeah, I've heard it all before.
[GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTS.]
[YELLS.]
[GRUNTS.]
[HELICOPTER WHIRRING.]
Don't.
[GROANING.]
Haven't you forgotten something? [GRUNTS.]
[SCREAMING.]
[GROANING.]
[GRUNTING.]
Find Batman.
Safe with him.
Come out, coward.
My ring will find your ring.
You cannot hide.
[CROWD CHATTERING.]
- Having fun? - Tons.
And I just figured out why the Joker is such a nut job.
Because this much smiling drives you crazy.
[SIGHS.]
That's it, girls, just up ahead.
Careful, careful.
I tell you, the airlines these days.
Hmm.
Bruce Wayne and his flock of fancy friends.
All that money just waiting to be taken.
[LAUGHS.]
What? Huh? Ah! [SCREAMING.]
Stop.
Huh? Well what have we here? A perfect fit.
[PENGUIN GRUNTING.]
[PANTING.]
Okay, that's it.
Put me down.
[GRUNTS.]
Hands up, Penguin.
Don't shoot.
[GRUNTS.]
[MOANS.]
Huh? Ah.
Oh! [SCREAMS.]
Hmm.
I could get used to this.
Oh, wouldn't you know it.
[CROWD GASPS.]
Another party where I wasn't invited.
Stop right there, Penguin.
What are you--? Mmph! And now, as we say in the thievery biz, I'm gonna clean you out.
I said, clean you out.
Huh? [GROANS.]
[CROWD GASPS.]
[CHUCKLES.]
[GRUNTS.]
Guess I'd better be "glowing.
" [LAUGHING.]
How did Penguin get Green Lantern's ring? Still bored? Don't worry, folks.
It's gonna be okay.
[LAUGHING.]
Ooh! [GRUNTING.]
Humph! All right, windbag, do your stuff.
[SIGHS.]
PENGUIN: Oh, what an artful thief.
[PENGUIN CHUCKLES.]
[YELLING.]
What? I'm tired of playing with your toys, boys.
How about we try mine? A boot? Wish this came with instructions.
Ah, this will do.
So how are we supposed to get that ring away from him? MAN: I found another one.
[GROANS.]
MAN: You'll be okay, ma'am.
[WOMAN COUGHING.]
What in blazes is Batman doing? DISPATCHER [OVER RADIO.]
: All units near Moldoff and Adams respond to a 10-10 in progress.
Suspect, identified as the Penguin, is using a super-powered weapon.
All done? Good.
Now it's my turn.
[GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTS.]
[PENGUIN LAUGHING.]
[YELLS.]
[GRUNTING.]
You're supposed to have my ring.
- I never got it.
- Guys.
- Oof! - Oof! You know, mister, you could get a ticket, driving like that.
And I'm here to give it to you.
What is the deal with this thing? The deal is you lack the willpower and the intellect to operate it properly.
[MOANS.]
Now give me the ring or suffer the consequences.
Can I take a sec to think it over? No.
[WHIMPERS.]
[GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTING.]
We gotta get Batman.
[BOTH GRUNTING.]
[BAT GRAPNEL DISCHARGES.]
There he is.
That's one tough guy you work for.
Tell me about it.
[SIGHS.]
[SCREAMS.]
[PANTING.]
Huh? [GROWLS.]
[WHIMPERING.]
[SIGHS.]
Aah! You put on quite a show, Oswald.
Shh! Can you keep it down? There's an alien maniac out there looking for me.
Which is why I suggest you give me the ring while you still have your fingers.
Ahh, never! SINESTRO: Show yourself, parasite.
Take it, take it, take it, take it.
There.
[YELPS.]
[MOANING.]
ROBIN [OVER RADIO.]
: Batman, still in one piece? Yeah, Penguin's out cold.
Get the ring to me.
Here goes.
- No.
- It's okay, he can handle himself.
That's not the point.
I haven't charged the ring.
It's gonna run out of power.
Well, that isn't what I had in mind.
[GRUNTS.]
Not as easy as it looks, is it? Nothing ever is.
[SINESTRO GRUNTS.]
Now we do this my way.
Huh? Ah.
Here you see the major flaw in a Green Lantern ring.
They stop working at the most awkward times.
[GRUNTS.]
- Get out of there.
- Too late.
[GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTS.]
I want the power ring now.
In all the excitement, I seem to have lost track of it.
Apparently, your life means as little to you as it does to me.
[GRUNTING.]
Now, where is it? GREEN LANTERN: Right here.
[BATMAN SIGHS.]
Let's settle this.
With pleasure.
[GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTS.]
Need a hand? [SCREAMS.]
[GRUNTS.]
I have had enough of your antics, you insignificant-- Huh? [GROANS.]
- I must admit, I underestimated you.
- Really? As a matter of fact, I think we're a lot alike.
You mean stubborn? I was going to say we have enormous willpower but stubborn works too.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'd better take Sinestro back to his stasis cell.
Does he need a roommate? I think we'll pass.
Nice working with you.
Likewise.
So how was it, using that ring? Not my style.
How about a little game of B-ball? Yeah, sure.
What's that? My ride.
What do you do, work in a funeral home? I'll never fit in if the other kids see me riding in a limousine.
It isn't normal.
You flit around the city every night in tights and a cape.
Is that normal? I could've gotten home on my own.
Not today, I'm afraid.
Remember, you and Master Bruce must attend that charity party this evening.
DICK: I was hoping he'd be too busy.
ALFRED: Actually, he's in the Batcave at this very moment with one of those gents from the Justice Club.
- You mean league? Which one? - The green one.
- Martian Manhunter? - No.
- Green Arrow? - No, the other chap.
Green Lantern? Oh, man, floor it.
Have you found anything yet? No, my system is scanning the visual galaxy and there's no sign of any unusual energy signatures there.
I wish we could be sure.
I am sure.
- The equipment is state of the art.
- Maybe on Earth.
But we're not dealing someone from Earth.
If only the Watchtower's sensors weren't off-line for repairs.
Exactly who is this Sinestro? He was a member of the Green Lantern Corps until he got power hungry and tried to wipe us out.
- We locked him away, but-- - Sounds like it didn't take.
No.
Attention, all Green Lanterns.
Sinestro of Korugar has escaped his stasis cell.
If you have any contact with him, notify-- Why do you think he's coming here? Sinestro and I have a history.
[ELEVATOR APPROACHING.]
Green Lantern, you're really here.
- I am such a fan.
- Dick.
- I know, people ask you this all the time.
- Dick.
But, like, if you and Superman were in a fight, which one would--? Dick, go get dressed.
Aw.
You know, I have to go too.
I have to fly a plane home to Coast City.
Why are you flying a plane? In my day job, I'm a test pilot.
Even your secret identity is cool.
Now.
Nice meeting you.
Nice kid.
- I'll keep an eye out for your pal.
- Thanks.
But, Bruce, if you see Sinestro coming, let me know.
Don't try to be a hero.
You'll be the first one I call.
Hmm.
Better dig out the lantern and give this a charge be-- Oof! [GRUNTING.]
[GROANS.]
Surprise.
Hello, old friend.
Unh! I'm not your friend.
No, but you were my best student.
I even offered you a chance to help me bring order to the universe.
- But you defied me.
- Unh! Rallied the other Green Lanterns, ruined everything.
Even so, you couldn't bring yourself to finish me off.
You failed [GRUNTS.]
just as this planet's crude technology failed to detect my arrival.
Now give me your ring.
Why, tired of the one you've got? Not at all.
However, with two rings and twice the power I will destroy the Green Lantern Corps.
And then, well, you know the rest.
Yeah, I've heard it all before.
[GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTS.]
[YELLS.]
[GRUNTS.]
[HELICOPTER WHIRRING.]
Don't.
[GROANING.]
Haven't you forgotten something? [GRUNTS.]
[SCREAMING.]
[GROANING.]
[GRUNTING.]
Find Batman.
Safe with him.
Come out, coward.
My ring will find your ring.
You cannot hide.
[CROWD CHATTERING.]
- Having fun? - Tons.
And I just figured out why the Joker is such a nut job.
Because this much smiling drives you crazy.
[SIGHS.]
That's it, girls, just up ahead.
Careful, careful.
I tell you, the airlines these days.
Hmm.
Bruce Wayne and his flock of fancy friends.
All that money just waiting to be taken.
[LAUGHS.]
What? Huh? Ah! [SCREAMING.]
Stop.
Huh? Well what have we here? A perfect fit.
[PENGUIN GRUNTING.]
[PANTING.]
Okay, that's it.
Put me down.
[GRUNTS.]
Hands up, Penguin.
Don't shoot.
[GRUNTS.]
[MOANS.]
Huh? Ah.
Oh! [SCREAMS.]
Hmm.
I could get used to this.
Oh, wouldn't you know it.
[CROWD GASPS.]
Another party where I wasn't invited.
Stop right there, Penguin.
What are you--? Mmph! And now, as we say in the thievery biz, I'm gonna clean you out.
I said, clean you out.
Huh? [GROANS.]
[CROWD GASPS.]
[CHUCKLES.]
[GRUNTS.]
Guess I'd better be "glowing.
" [LAUGHING.]
How did Penguin get Green Lantern's ring? Still bored? Don't worry, folks.
It's gonna be okay.
[LAUGHING.]
Ooh! [GRUNTING.]
Humph! All right, windbag, do your stuff.
[SIGHS.]
PENGUIN: Oh, what an artful thief.
[PENGUIN CHUCKLES.]
[YELLING.]
What? I'm tired of playing with your toys, boys.
How about we try mine? A boot? Wish this came with instructions.
Ah, this will do.
So how are we supposed to get that ring away from him? MAN: I found another one.
[GROANS.]
MAN: You'll be okay, ma'am.
[WOMAN COUGHING.]
What in blazes is Batman doing? DISPATCHER [OVER RADIO.]
: All units near Moldoff and Adams respond to a 10-10 in progress.
Suspect, identified as the Penguin, is using a super-powered weapon.
All done? Good.
Now it's my turn.
[GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTS.]
[PENGUIN LAUGHING.]
[YELLS.]
[GRUNTING.]
You're supposed to have my ring.
- I never got it.
- Guys.
- Oof! - Oof! You know, mister, you could get a ticket, driving like that.
And I'm here to give it to you.
What is the deal with this thing? The deal is you lack the willpower and the intellect to operate it properly.
[MOANS.]
Now give me the ring or suffer the consequences.
Can I take a sec to think it over? No.
[WHIMPERS.]
[GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTING.]
We gotta get Batman.
[BOTH GRUNTING.]
[BAT GRAPNEL DISCHARGES.]
There he is.
That's one tough guy you work for.
Tell me about it.
[SIGHS.]
[SCREAMS.]
[PANTING.]
Huh? [GROWLS.]
[WHIMPERING.]
[SIGHS.]
Aah! You put on quite a show, Oswald.
Shh! Can you keep it down? There's an alien maniac out there looking for me.
Which is why I suggest you give me the ring while you still have your fingers.
Ahh, never! SINESTRO: Show yourself, parasite.
Take it, take it, take it, take it.
There.
[YELPS.]
[MOANING.]
ROBIN [OVER RADIO.]
: Batman, still in one piece? Yeah, Penguin's out cold.
Get the ring to me.
Here goes.
- No.
- It's okay, he can handle himself.
That's not the point.
I haven't charged the ring.
It's gonna run out of power.
Well, that isn't what I had in mind.
[GRUNTS.]
Not as easy as it looks, is it? Nothing ever is.
[SINESTRO GRUNTS.]
Now we do this my way.
Huh? Ah.
Here you see the major flaw in a Green Lantern ring.
They stop working at the most awkward times.
[GRUNTS.]
- Get out of there.
- Too late.
[GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTS.]
I want the power ring now.
In all the excitement, I seem to have lost track of it.
Apparently, your life means as little to you as it does to me.
[GRUNTING.]
Now, where is it? GREEN LANTERN: Right here.
[BATMAN SIGHS.]
Let's settle this.
With pleasure.
[GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTS.]
Need a hand? [SCREAMS.]
[GRUNTS.]
I have had enough of your antics, you insignificant-- Huh? [GROANS.]
- I must admit, I underestimated you.
- Really? As a matter of fact, I think we're a lot alike.
You mean stubborn? I was going to say we have enormous willpower but stubborn works too.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'd better take Sinestro back to his stasis cell.
Does he need a roommate? I think we'll pass.
Nice working with you.
Likewise.
So how was it, using that ring? Not my style.