All American (2018) s05e08 Episode Script

1
So which card game am I
gonna beat you at tonight?
I ain't playing no more
card games with you, girl.
Somehow I always end
up with my clothes off.
And that's a bad thing why?
Because you cheat.
Can't blame a girl for
wanting to get you naked.
We ain't got to play cards to get naked.
Oh, OK.
Heh, but I still can't stay.
I got a family party tonight.
Sounds like fun.
Sounds like you want an invite.
I thought family gatherings
wasn't in our rules.
Well, I mean, parties are fun,
and we're having fun.
Everybody in my life gonna be there,
including my ex.
We all have a past.
There's no getting around that.
OK. Party it is.
Party it is.
And now that we redid the arts center,
we can offer electives
before and after school,
- so that's cool.
- Wow.
- Mm-hmm.
- Billy, I
- I am really impressed.
- Thank you.
You have taken complete
ownership of this job
- Yeah.
- But more importantly,
- seems like you really love it.
- Yeah.
- Hey, happy birthday, Coach Baker.
- Hey, thank you, Kyle.
I do. I do love it a lot, just feels
it feels good to be able
to make a difference,
you know, in these kids' lives.
I have never been so
happy to be proven wrong.
-
- Principal really suits you.
Thank you.
- Everything OK?
- Yeah, yeah.
I just got to handle
some things. Lookit.
- I'll see you tonight?
- See you tonight
- All right.
- Principal Baker.
I guess Layla's back from tour.
Patience back, too?
No. She has more shows,
but, yo, Spencer just texted me,
said he's bringing Alicia tonight,
so our car is officially full.
I'm sorry. I'm sure he
was gonna tell you that.
Well, why would he
have to tell me anything
when we all know you will?
Ooh, awkward.
We're still finding our rhythm.
Yeah. You ever think about moving out?
Of a Beverly Hills mansion? No. I don't.
But things with Olivia
are clearly super off,
and the house feels a little crowded.
OK. Even if I wanted to move,
which I don't, uh, I wouldn't
even have time to look.
I'm telling you, man,
Willmont lives up to the hype.
- Yeah?
- Yeah. I mean,
they throw this cookout
before every game.
The whole school comes.
You know, maybe you should
consider coaching there.
- Ooh, that was sick.
- Come on.
Yeah. I'm gonna pretend
you didn't say that.
Mm-hmm.
Plus, why would anyone
give up oceanfront views?
OK. Don't get me wrong.
Coastal was great, OK?
I loved the tour,
and chatting with Coach
Montes was awesome,
but Willmont just hit different for me.
Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no. Nope.
- Vvv!
- Nope.
What's up, J.?
- I didn't know you was back from Willmont.
- Hey.
Yeah. Just got back this morning.
- Mm mm mm!
- How'd it go?
Yeah. You know, it was all right.
It was kind of hot, muggy, eh.
- OK. Heh.
- Yeah.
I'll catch y'all later.
- Yep. Yep, yep, yep.
- Yeah.
Let's get this work ♪
No, no, no. Hold up. Hold up.
What was that about?
You were just raving about the weather,
said it was good for your skin.
Look. Spence and I are cool and all,
but I don't know
feels kind of weird
rubbing it in his face
that I'm leaving GAU.
But you're OK with rubbing it in mine
that Coastal's not your top choice?
I haven't made any
decisions yet, all right?
All right, all right.
Well, while you sit here debating
between hot and muggy
versus breezy and beautiful,
I'll be finishing up my
speech for your dad's birthday.
OK, love that for you.
I am just gonna wing it
because I'm funnier than you.
Right. Whatever, man.
Hey, you hear if J.J.'s coming?
- He can't make it.
- Wait. He responded to you?
Was he not supposed to?
He literally just sent
Spence and I a video
that should not be
allowed on the Internet.
You serious? J.J.
punched you in the face,
- and now you all are text buddies?
- We got over it.
I mean, dude, he's our friend.
What's up with you?
Nothing. I'll see you later.
24 hours to make the most
important decision of my life.
You make life-changing
decisions all the time.
- What do you think I should do?
- I help people fight for their lives.
This is a decision only you can make.
It's not like I don't love
being principal at South
Crenshaw, but the opportunity
to rebuild and coach at a D1 program,
that's not gonna come back around,
not to mention being reunited
with Jordan and Spencer
on the field. Come on.
I mean, that's assuming that Jordan's
just scratching an itch
by looking at these
other schools, but
It's OK to say it's your dream
job and you want it, babe.
Spencer sent me in
there to fight for Kenny
for the head-coaching
job at GAU, and I
he's gonna think I betrayed him.
So talk to him.
Talk to both the boys,
see what they think.
I can't do that, either.
Barnes says the offer
has to be confidential
until I make a final decision.
Screw A.D. Barnes' confidentiality.
Be honest with yourself.
Be honest with the boys
and stop hiding behind excuses.
You do all that, and the
right answer will come,
but for now, it's your birthday
Whoo hoo.
And I have a party to plan.
Thank you, baby.
Mmm. OK. Jordan, we're not home alone.
- Who cares? Risky is sexy.
- Yeah?
- Mm-hmm.
- It's also risky.
OK. Then stop kissing me.
You should know better
than to challenge me by now.
OK. True. True. Mm.
So how was your trip?
Right now, I am only focused
on how much I missed you.
One week is 6 days too many.
- Not 7?
- No. I can go 24 hours
without talking to you. I'm not crazy.
Yeah, just like I can stop kissing you.
- Exactly.
- OK.
- Hey, Layla.
- Hey.
- How was Atlanta?
- Yeah. It was, uh, uh,
hot and busy, you know,
- but Patience killed it.
- Nice.
- Did you see Simone while you were there?
- Kind of, yeah.
We saw each other
briefly at Patience's show
and then couple times at Bringston.
- Oh.
- Mm-hmm.
- What are you doing here?
- Uh, he is helping me set up the office,
which thank you for letting
me take it over, by the way.
No problem. I mean, someone
should use it because
we all know how I like
to write in the wild.
- We
- The wild.
- It's true.
- Good.
- It wasn't that funny.
- I should get going.
Yeah. Yeah. You should.
Thanks for carrying all
the heavy boxes for me.
- No problem.
- OK, Thor.
Just make sure you don't
ruin our speech tonight
with your 5-year-old humor, OK?
I am the God of humor.
Bl-l-l-l-l-l!
When I was your age,
I had to take 3 buses,
walk half a mile to
get a view like this.
- Yeah. I don't take it for granted, Ma.
- I know you don't.
So are you ready for tonight?
My speech is. I don't know if I am.
I'm bringing Alicia.
- You think that's gonna be weird?
- Hell yeah, it's gonna be weird.
Ain't you supposed to
be making me feel better?
I am not here to make you feel better.
I am here to tell you the
truth, and the truth is,
this is the way life goes
when you're willing to
fall in and out of love.
Alicia and I ain't doing that.
- We just having fun.
- I'm not talking about Alicia,
but I am proud of you for
finally putting yourself first
- and doing what makes you happy.
- I am happy,
and my classes are dope.
Coach Kenny and I added wrinkles
to the playbook for next season.
A.D. Barnes has been
keeping in touch with him.
Kenny should be getting the
head coach offer any day now.
You sound confident.
It's easy to be confident
when nobody else wants the job.
Look at you
all of that and a date tonight.
Now you're just being mean.
Where your husband at?
And that is what I
call the Baker's dozen.
- Nothing?
- Uh-uh.
Maybe my timing was off.
- Should I start over?
- Please no.
- I could lead with a joke.
- Yeah.
- Why did Coach Baker stand in the corner?
- Why?
Because he needed a timeout.
- Mm-hmm.
- Ohh
Nobody should give me the mic tonight.
I think if you lean
less into the dad jokes
and more into who Coach Baker is,
you'll find your funny.
Being funny isn't my thing.
It's J.J.'s.
You still haven't heard from him?
No.
Apparently, Jordan and Spencer have,
which means he didn't move out
of this house to get away from us.
He moved out to get away from me.
Maybe he just needs a little space.
From just me?
Well, sometimes the people
we take our crap out on
are the ones we feel safest with.
Don't mistake J.J.
ghosting you for anger.
Just keep letting him know you're there.
- Ooh.
- Hey, you OK?
Yeah. I think I just pulled a
muscle in yoga the other day,
but I'm fine.
Now hit me with another dad joke.
- All right, all right.
- Let's see what you got.
All right. Coming up. Coming up.
Uh ooh.
Why did Coach Baker ask for his change?
- Why?
- To get his quarterback.
Eh.
- Hey, Dad, happy birthday.
- Hey, you made it back.
- Birthday boy.
- All right.
- What's happening, captain?
- You know.
So
- how was it?
- Willmont was amazing, OK?
I mean, their athletic
facility, it rivals GAU's.
Plus, I got to spend time with the
offensive coordinator and his family.
Yeah. He reminds me a
lot of you, you know,
and he had a ton of things to
say about my future as a QB.
All right. Well, I don't doubt that.
You know, it's gonna be pretty tough
to choose between Willmont and Coastal.
I mean, there's a ton of
reasons for me to stay here.
Oh, so you're serious
about transferring.
I thought this was just, like,
a testing-out-the-waters
type of a thing.
No. I want to play football
next season, you know?
GAU's program is a mess right now.
Well, maybe you should
give them time to try to
- figure things out.
- Dad, I'm out of time, OK?
I have to think about my future,
and that means finding a
coach who believes in me.
- I believe in you.
- I know you do,
but you're not my coach anymore.
You're my dad.
I just have to find my version
of you on the football field.
You do know there's
people that do that, right?
But that costs money, OK?
Besides, it's what's inside that counts.
OK, so what's inside?
I framed my speech for Billy tonight.
You don't want to spend a cent, do you?
Are you here to help me or
just be a pain in my ass?
I just came to give
you the heads-up that
Liv overheard me telling Skye that
you were bringing Alicia tonight.
What is with you and that damn mouth?
I was having a private
conversation with my girlfriend.
Besides, she was gonna find out anyway
when y'all two walked in together.
- How'd she take it?
- More pissed at me
than concerned about you if that helps.
You think it's a bad idea,
me bringing Alicia tonight?
I think it's a worse
idea to uninvite her now.
Besides, you and Liv
gonna have to rip off
that breakup band-aid eventually.
Mm
OK. Either you've had
way too much caffeine
- or something's bugging.
- Or something.
All right. Hit me with it.
- What's got you so riled up?
- I'm supposed to be finishing up
my speech for my dad's birthday, but
all I can think about is that
Spencer's bringing a date.
- To your dad's birthday?
- I know. I mean,
he can do what he wants to do, right?
We're not together. It's just
I don't know. It's weird
seeing him move on before me.
And who says he's moved on before you?
I think me showing up
dateless says it all.
Then don't show up dateless.
What if I went with you
As your faux date, of course?
You don't have to do that,
and don't say "faux."
It's weird.
I want to go.
Besides, you need someone by your side
who can make you laugh when he's looking
and maybe even when he's not.
Just think about it.
So
you back for more risk?
Uh
Actually, um
I'm back to hear what
really went down in Atlanta.
Uh, I mean, it's like I
told Liv it was fine.
Well, you see, I know all
of your facial expressions,
and the one that you had when Liv asked
how Atlanta was was
your "so not fine" look.
I don't have a "so not fine" look.
Wait. How many facial
expressions do I have?
Eight. Don't dodge the question.
OK.
Fine. Yeah. Simone and I had
a conversation or two or 3.
- Why didn't you tell me?
- Because it had nothing to do with you
and everything to do with me and Simone.
OK. Fine. Technically, it
kind of had to do with you,
but really, it was more about me and her
and all the stuff that was
left unsaid at Christmas, OK?
- I just wanted to clear the air.
- You told her about us, didn't you,
without any heads-up or input from me.
Well, it didn't exactly go as I hoped,
- if that makes you feel better.
- This is a joke to you, OK?
I should've been the
one to tell her, Layla.
It's not a joke, Jordan.
Simone was my friend,
and woman to woman,
I owed her a conversation.
OK. Well, Simone wasn't
just my friend, OK?
- She was my wife.
- Wow.
- OK.
- Look. My point is,
is that I should've had a
say in who tells her and when.
We should've made that
decision together as a team.
Simone and I were in a good place.
And now she's going to think
that I lied to her, or worse,
didn't care enough to
tell her personally.
But congratulations,
you know, I'm so glad you
got to clear your conscience.
- Jordan, I
- No, forget it.
- Happy birthday!
- Happy birthday!
What is this?
It's your birthday roast.
Roast? On a random birth
- should I be worried?
- No birthday is random.
- Right.
- Just sit back and relax and
know that, whatever's
said about you tonight,
that we love you.
- OK.
- OK. I got to go check on the caterers.
All right. You look good.
- Like my Billy Baker?
- I do.
Ah, they got you in on
this thing, too, huh?
- They couldn't pay me to miss it.
- All right. Nice.
Plus, this track suit beats
a dress and heels any day.
I wish they told me to put a
track suit on right about now.
Hey, listen. Billy,
I want to thank you for
always looking out for Spencer.
- Please.
- What you did to help Kenny get considered
for the coaching job
at GAU means a lot
- OK. Mm-hmm.
- And,
according to Spencer, it looks
like Kenny'll get an offer soon.
He's definitely on the short list,
but you should know that A.D. Barnes,
he's considering other candidates.
- Seriously?
- Yeah.
Spencer seemed to think
no one else wanted the job.
You know how these
things are. There's always
somebody else in the mix, somebody
who's gonna want to cover
cover their bases.
- Can we talk about this later?
- Yeah.
- All right. I'm glad you made it.
- Of course.
- Yeah.
- All right now.
OK.
What's up?
OK. I found a few
potential spots for you,
and, look, this one
even has a fireplace.
I mean, it looks a'ight,
but I've seen firsthand
that the photos is not the whole truth.
Babe, why are you still on this?
I'm not moving.
Whatever's happening here is
better than what's out there.
Now let's get going. Spencer's
waiting on us, and we already late.
OK.
OK. Alicia should be here soon,
- and Coop is not far behind.
- Mm-hmm.
- You good?
- Yep. Yeah. Yeah.
J., I owe you an apology, man.
- For what?
- I seen how hyped you was earlier
after your visit to Willmont.
Second I walked in the door,
your whole mood changed.
- That's not us.
- No. That's not us.
No. I never want you to quiet
your excitement because of me.
We cool. On God.
Thanks, Spence. I appreciate it.
- Of course.
- Oh, sorry. The door was open.
What's up. Oh, you all
good. Alicia, this is
- Jordan Baker.
- I'm sorry. Have we met?
Somehow we've always missed
each other when I'm here,
but Spence filled me in
on all of his roommates.
Wow. Well, don't listen
to anything he says.
It's so nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you, too.
- Oh, OK.
Coop is hollering from outside.
- We should go.
- All right.
Life's a party, yeah ♪
So enjoy yourself ♪
Show somebody yeah ♪
How to love ♪
What's with the look?
Can't help it. It's just my face.
Didn't mean to hit a trigger,
- just making sure you're good.
- I'm sorry. It's just,
it's been a rough few days.
Rough days mean the
good ones are coming.
I hope you're right.
- Mm
- Hey, are you OK?
Yeah. Yeah. It'll pass.
I just got to breathe slowly.
- Mm
- Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey,
you're still having pain?
- Why don't I get you some water, OK?
- Thanks.
Babe, let's go. You should rest.
No, no. I'll be fine.
I made a doctor's
appointment for tomorrow.
Come on. Tonight's about you.
Besides, my pain's at, like, a 4.
Out of 5?
Out of 10, Ash.
If it gets worse, I
promise I'll tell you.
- OK.
- Hey
- Hey.
- Oh.
What's up? Happy birthday, Coach.
What's happening? Glad you made it.
Yeah. OK. Wait till my speech.
- You might be saying otherwise.
- Ah.
- Laura got to you, too, huh?
- Oh, she got to everybody.
Oh, look at this thing.
Show somebody, yeah ♪
How to love yourself ♪
Look at this.
The least she could've
done was make it my height.
- She got the small hands right, though.
- Small?
These are NFL hands,
baby. What you mean?
OK. They're not super bowl hands.
You need big hands to hold
that trophy. You've seen it.
- It's like that, huh?
- We'll see.
I'm coming for you.
Hey, you.
I can't wait to see you M.C. tonight.
Mm, you should make a joke
about sleeping in Billy's bed.
What is your obsession with
me living at the Baker house?
- I'm not obsessed.
- But you kind of are,
and I'm kind of tired of
talking about it, all right?
Ms. Baker's my boss. She's
doing me a solid on the rent
to help me save money.
Nobody in their right mind
would walk away from
a situation like that.
OK. Well, I just love you
- and want you to be happy.
- Hey, Coop,
- we're ready for you.
- OK. Cool.
OK. Let's do it.
Look. I'm happy, OK?
Can we just move on?
Mm-hmm.
I tried to convert Spence
I really have but he just loves
to take it from the bottom, right?
Personally, I'm a top guy.
OK. Are we still talking
about toilet paper?
What's wrong with you?
- Refills.
- OK.
- Refills.
- OK. Thank you.
- Yep.
- He's funny.
You didn't tell me Jordan was so cool.
I didn't know I was supposed to.
- Are you kidding?
- Damn.
You know, I have a
list about a mile long
of girls who would die to date him.
- He's single, right?
- Recently single, yeah.
OK.
Like you said, everybody
got a past, right?
Mm-hmm. Yes.
I'm guessing that's your past.
Yeah, and she's here with Noah.
Welcome, everyone, to Coach
Baker's birthday roast.
Ooh! Whoop whoop!
Um, you know, you can call me
Billy. You know that, right?
And piss off moms? No, thanks.
So I met Coach Baker a few years back,
and I got to say, for the most part,
he's all right, except he
claims to be from the hood,
my hood, to be exact.
You guys know the hoodest
thing I've seen him do?
- No?
- What?
Mow the lawn in black Air Force 1s.
There's nothing worse than
being born with a ugly kid,
and you got two of
them at the same time.
You guys, make some
noise for the Baker twins.
All right.
Thank you.
Wow, wow, wow.
Thanks, Coop, for filling in tonight.
You know, Patience couldn't be here
because she's somewhere on a
stage actually entertaining people.
Ooh
Well, you know, I'll go first
because, you know, I was born first.
Hence, the odd-shaped head.
You know, I like to think that
I held the door open for you.
That's really gross, Jordan.
Well, if you couldn't already tell,
- Jordan has our dad's sense of humor.
- Oh,
- that's a low blow, Liv.
- Growing up, people used to ask,
"what was it like, you know,
having an absentee father
- who was also an NFL star?"
- That's not fair, Jordan.
- He wasn't really a star.
- Right.
Obviously, tonight we're
all here to celebrate our dad
in a very, very mean way.
Yes, and we thought of one
story that would fit perfectly.
Y'all, don't you dare.
- The accidental streaker.
- The accidental streaker.
Oh
So one morning, our dad went out
to take a shower before
construction started,
but, of course, it was the day
Should I be doing a
vibe check over here?
Is it that obvious?
Yeah. It is.
You and Alicia having a good time?
Yeah. Yeah. She's cool.
- But she's not Olivia.
- No.
No. She's not.
And the guy Olivia brought,
he's not you.
You know, before you and Olivia
ever started dating, you were friends,
best friends.
There's nothing wrong with
trying to get back to that place.
And what if she's not ready?
Then at least you know you tried.
Diggy diggy diggy dee ♪
Up next is the woman
who gave me my big break
and then took it away Layla Keating.
Thank you,
and Jordan already made the joke
about Patience being
more talented than you,
so I don't have to, right?
OK. Great.
Well, when I was a kid,
I spent so much time at the Baker house,
everyone thought I
was their third child,
so Liv was the smart one,
and Jordan was the pretty one,
and, because I wasn't actually
related to Coach Baker,
- I was the lucky one.
- Oh
I got to grow up enjoying
Coach Baker's famous ribs
A virgin Billy Bellini.
Thank you.
It's pretty catchy and
- Tasty.
- Hmm.
Your mom really went all out.
Yeah. Birthdays are kind of her thing.
So does your dad really like Bellinis,
- or is that her thing, too?
- Oh, no.
That man loves a good, sugary cocktail,
well, when no one's looking, of course.
Outing a man's private drink, savage.
Ha! Ha!
Whoa. OK. Slow it down.
If I know that's your fake laugh,
you better believe Spencer will, too.
You know, not all of us
get to live out our dreams.
I mean, take Asher, for instance.
He wanted to play football so bad, but
he just didn't have the heart for it.
Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome Asher Adams.
That's good. That's real good.
Shots fired, Coop,
but I guess you got your voice back,
not so sure that's a good thing.
- Y'all are cutthroat.
- Ahh,
a coach hones your strengths
and draws out your weaknesses.
They mold you into the type
of player you're gonna be,
or if you're Coach Baker,
you just recruit them illegally
and move them into your house.
You still mad I took your spot, Ash?
Ooh, ow.
Who raised y'all?
Now, a Baker is someone who finds
all the right ingredients
to make the perfect dessert.
I think I've forgotten how to laugh.
- Life ain't that deep.
- I don't know.
It's felt pretty deep lately.
Maybe if you stop
overthinking everything
and just start doing
whatever feels good,
things will lighten up.
Yeah. Impulse hasn't really
worked for me in the past, so
So try happiness.
Right now, that's sipping on
virgin Bellinis while you watch
your dad squirm like a toddler
that's got to take a dump.
That's a very specific image.
- It's a true story, right, Mrs. Baker?
- Um
And you're right.
Hey, there she is.
I know y'all wish I would
stand up here all night
and make y'all laugh, but
they're not paying me enough,
so I'd like to welcome
Billy's better half,
the love of his life
Spencer James.
- She is just kidding, Mrs. Baker.
- No, she's not,
but it's OK because most of the time,
- I like you better than I like Billy, anyway.
- Hey.
Well, all right, then.
As Coop said, I'm Spencer James.
The part she left out
is that I am the son
Coach Baker never had.
If you look around this room,
it's clear to see that
Billy has lived many lives
- and been called many things
- Now, careful.
NFL player, principal,
son, father,
trophy husband,
ugly cryer,
bad golfer, and even worse dancer
But no matter what,
coach will always be my favorite.
Coach Baker changed my life
the day he stepped on
that field at Crenshaw
and asked me to come play for him.
He took a chance on some kid
who liked to do things his own way,
get into fights,
and live and die on that football field.
That kid is you, by the
way, because I'm perfect.
No, but for real,
the friends I made at Beverly,
the kind of football player I am,
even the most important
relationship in my life
can all be traced back to Coach Baker
Which from now on, is this track suit
because this is fire.
How you gonna hold out on us like that?
Some secrets are meant to be kept.
I guess so. Happy birthday, Coach.
I love you.
Love you, too, man.
All jokes aside, Coach Baker,
you made me the person I am today.
I just love you, man.
All right.
- I have no idea who that was.
- No idea.
And now I need you guys to
give a big round of applause
for the biggest,
baddest boss lady I know
and Billy's true better half
Ms. Laura Baker.
All right.
Smart move not roasting me.
I know when to keep my mouth shut.
I think we can all agree that Billy's
being a good sport by
letting us roast him tonight,
- but you're not done yet, babe.
- I know it.
Do you remember the movie
- "10 Things I Hate About You"?
- Ugh, how could I forget?
When Billy and I started dating,
we must have watched it 50 times.
- Hours of my life I will never get back.
- Oh, please.
You tried to grow your
hair out like Heath.
You can see how well
that worked out for him.
When Billy proposed to me,
he listed the 10 things
he loved about me,
but tonight's not a love
fest. It's a roast, babe,
so this is for you.
I hate the way you comb your hair
when you don't have any at all.
I hate the way you say, "OK,"
just so you can stall.
I hate the way you pace around
when things don't make sense,
and I hate the way you mansplain to me
- just so you can vent
- I hate that.
But most of all,
I don't hate anything about you,
not even a little bit at all.
Billy Baker, I'd rather fight with you
than love anyone else.
Happy birthday, babe.
Now, guys, this would
not be a true roast
if we did not get to hear
from the man of honor,
the legend himself Mr. Billy Baker.
Thank you, Coop. Thank
you. Thank you so much.
One of these days, I
hope to be as hood as you
as you sleep peacefully every night
in my very expensive
Beverly Hills mansion.
Until that day, enjoy the thread count.
- You know I will.
- All right.
Where is Spencer? There you are.
I know he's feeling proud of
that little speech you gave me.
Thank you. Y'all don't know this.
Spencer has a sandwich
named after him right here,
yes, right here at the Slauson Cafe.
It's cute, not as cute
as having an actual
football field named after you,
but you're on your way, buddy.
There they are Jordan and Olivia,
my pride and joy.
These days, they're more
of a pain in my neck,
my shoulder, my lower back, right,
oh, and, of course, my bank account.
Nobody laughed at that. Exactly.
All the adults know
what I'm talking about.
Y'all don't know this,
but for the longest time,
for years, I called them
both Thing 1 and Thing 2
because right after they were born,
trying to tell them apart
was virtually impossible
unless I took off their diapers.
Even then, it was a little iffy, right?
He's fine now, but it was iffy.
And, of course, my beautiful wife,
who put together this whole thing,
I just want to tell you that I love you.
- That's what I thought. Mm-hmm.
- Yes. Exactly.
And to the rest of y'all Ash, Layla,
and my man here, OK, and, of course,
how could I forget you?
I'm coming for you all
Because I don't forget.
On a more serious note
I don't know what I did
right to deserve you all.
Like Spencer said, I
have lived many lives,
and to most of y'all, I'm Coach Baker,
and you will never know
how much that means to me.
You all know I grew up
on the football field,
and it was where I
learned how to be the man,
the husband, and the father
that I've always wanted to be,
and though I am not perfect,
I know I can always come
back home to the field
whenever I need to be centered,
so I thank you all for
reminding me of that.
Thank you very much. This is great.
What's up, Liv?
You look great.
Yeah. Who knew polyester was my thing?
That's what I'm saying, right?
So you and Noah.
You and Alicia.
Uh, this is strange.
If you'd had told me 6 months ago
we'd be having a conversation
like this, I'd say you was crazy.
- Life was so much easier back then.
- Ain't that the truth?
Well, let's hope in 6 months,
things will be a little more normal.
Then we'll be friends again
like it was before we dated?
No.
Things will never be the same
But that's OK.
I don't want to erase the
time that we spent together,
but our relationship
is important to me, too.
I'd like to find what our
new version of friendship is.
Well, this seems like
a great first step.
To friendship.
To friendship.
Don't see each other's angles ♪
And that's OK ♪
Hey, Grace. Everything OK?
You tell me.
Uh, no. I'm good.
My ego's a little bruised,
but I'll manage. Want to have a seat?
You know, I wasn't
gonna roast you tonight,
but I changed my mind.
To Billy Baker,
the man who will say
anything to get ahead
To Coach Baker,
the man who will do
anything to get ahead
OK. Ha ha ha. Very funny.
And to Principal Baker,
the man who will use
anyone to get ahead.
- Grace, are you OK?
- Tell me you aren't considering
the head-coaching job at GAU.
I can't believe I was stupid enough
to think for one second
you would honor your
commitment as principal.
You looked me in my eye today
and told me that you
loved that job. You lied.
- I do love that j
- I knew as soon as
some shiny coaching job
came along, you'd jump ship.
GAU, their program is
dangling by a thread,
and they trust me to rebuild it.
D1 programs don't just fall in your lap.
Well, somehow it just fell into yours.
Was that when you went
behind my son's back?
Easy.
I went in there.
I went in there, and I
fought for Kenny. I did.
I didn't know they were
gonna offer me that damn job,
- and I still don't know if I'm gonna take it
- Right.
But you asked me to look after Spencer
when you went away to Oakland,
and this will give me a chance
to do that and so much more.
I can build a whole
program around Spencer
and Jordan, for that matter.
Even if that's not what Spencer wants.
- You don't get it. They don't get it.
- Right,
and while you continue playing
unasked hero to our boys,
think about the boys that you're
leaving behind at Crenshaw,
the ones who wouldn't
have a chance without you,
the ones who need you more than
the kids that made it to college.
Oh
What, you lost your voice or something?
You ain't said two words since we left.
I said 3 words at the party
that you completely ignored.
Wait. When you said, "I love you"?
I didn't think you meant it like that.
You knew exactly what I meant,
but how can you even
think of me in that way
when Patience is all over this house?
She's not even in town right now.
You're literally sitting on her face.
Oh
Right.
Look, Skye.
I care about you a lot, OK,
more than I expected
to care about someone
so soon after my breakup,
but that's the thing. I'm
not ready to go all in yet.
I'm not asking you to go all in.
But you kind of are, and I get it.
Patience and I dove head
first into our relationship,
and it stayed that way until the end,
and, while I like you a lot
and love the time we spend together,
- I just got to take it slow.
- How slow?
I
Can't give you that answer right now,
but if Patience is the real reason
you want me to move out of this house,
you should've just said that.
I don't want this to
be another relationship
where we tiptoeing around our feelings.
That didn't work out well for me,
and I want this to work.
I want it to work, too.
Then don't confuse where I'm living
with where I'm living.
Um, hey, so I take back what I said
about not being able to
talk to you for 24 hours.
That was the longest 6 hours of my life.
Well, I'm sorry that I went to Simone
without telling you
first. OK. You're right.
We're a team, and it's important
that we're a united front
when making important decisions
that affect our relationship.
OK. No. I'm sorry.
I have absolutely no
say how you and Simone
choose to move forward as friends,
and I understand that you needed to do
what you did for yourself and for her.
Yeah. Well, backfired anyway, so
Well, what do you mean?
Well, Simone wants us to be
happy but from a distance,
so she ended our friendship.
I'm sorry,
but you know what? Who knows?
Maybe she'll come around.
Yeah. I don't think she will,
but thanks for trying
to make me feel better.
Yeah.
So what do we do when
everyone finds out about us?
What are we gonna do? Well
We
- Will face it together as a team.
- Mm.
Want me to deal you in for Go Fish,
or you want to just straight
to cheating at strip poker?
Though not much gonna get
me out of this track suit.
Uh, I'm gonna call it a night.
I just came back in for my cards.
OK.
Thanks.
I don't need to be good at cards
to know when somebody got
they poker face on. What's up?
I'm good, you know, just a long night.
A long night at a family
party you wanted to go to.
Look, Spence.
I've made a career reading brides,
and I can tell when someone's in love.
Liv and I are still finding our way
not being together.
It's gonna take time,
but honestly, I'm a little confused.
You're the one who said you wanted
to keep our thing light
and fun, your words.
This is starting to feel a
little outside those rules.
Yeah. Well, the funny thing about rules
is that the lines tend to blur.
Some advice
either move forward or move backwards,
but make a move.
Oh, man, wow.
Thank you for everything tonight.
Hey, the 3 virgin Billy Bellinis I had
were worth every second
of being your faux
- I mean, pretend
- Thank you.
- Date.
- Well, I don't know if it was the sugar
or the company, but
for the first time in a long time,
I felt a little bit
of my old self return.
Told you, being a plus-one's
my hidden talent
You did.
And, for the record, I
had a great time, too.
If I'm being honest
Spending time with you is
all I want to do.
- Uh, Noah
- Hey, I know tonight was tough.
I just hope tomorrow you'll be
able to find that laugh again.
It's too good to hold in.
Good night.
Noah
- Yeah. Hey.
- Dad, is everything OK?
- I got your text.
- Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Have a have a seat. Yeah.
OK.
Um, what's going on?
- You're kind of stressing me out.
- OK, so
I've been offered the
head-coaching job at GAU.
- Are you gonna take it?
- I think I am, yeah,
b-b-but I want to know how you
I want to know how you feel about it.
- Honestly?
- Yeah.
This is the best news
I've heard in a long time.
- For real? Do you mean it?
- Are you kidding me?
Dad, you are the perfect
person for the job.
Thank you, son.
Thank you, son.
I didn't know how bad I
wanted this until tonight.
Listen, if anyone can save that program,
- it's you
- Right.
But have you talked to Spencer, though?
- I mean, I know he was pushing for Kenny.
- Nobody else knows.
Wait. You told me first?
Yeah, but look, look.
Um, no one else can
know about this but us &
before I go to A.D. Barnes, OK?
Now, son
&I know that you've decided to move on
from GAU, and I fully
support that decision.
I understand it's important
for you to have your
person on the field, OK,
but if there's any
way I can convince you
to not leave, right,
I promise that I will be the coach
that you need and deserve in college.
- Mm-hmm.
- I promise,
so
will you stay and play for me, son?
Heh. Yeah. Of course.
Of course.
Ohh!
OK. Oh, my God.
Oh, what a night.
You know, people actually
laughed at my jokes.
You were really great.
I'm just bummed J.J. didn't show up.
Ohh mm
Ahh
Oh, my God, Jaymee,
is it your lupus?
Yep. I'm sorry, Ash. I think
I think I need to go to the hospital,
like, right now.