Beverly Hills, 90210 (1990) s05e08 Episode Script
Things That Go Bang in the Night
Can you tape that box for me? l'm not going to help you.
You know, l don't get you.
l really don't.
Valerie, you're being way too hard on yourself.
Nobody wants you to move back to Buffalo.
Oh, yeah? Talk to Steve.
Steve's still got one good hand.
Dylan's still got a face.
They'll get over it.
And what about your parents? One thing about Jim and Cindy is, no matter how bad you screw up, you always get a second chance.
Don't tell them l told you this, but you also get a third, fourth and fifth, too.
Well, the way l'm going, even that wouldn't be enough.
You'll never know if you bail.
Brandon, l can't stay here.
l mean, everywhere l look, there's someone who hates me.
And l think you're exaggerating.
Call it what you want.
lt's time to cut my losses.
Don't worry about anything.
l understand.
He understands, too.
Abby, please.
Yes, l'll tell her for you.
Okay, Abby.
Bye-bye.
This is a lot more than we agreed to when we said we'd let her stay here.
Jim, did you honestly think all she'd need was a roof over her head? Well, don't pretend you saw this coming.
Saw what coming? Well, there's been a problem in Buffalo.
Your mother's thinking of checking herself into a clinic for a few days.
And she didn't want to talk to me? Valerie, she's been through a tough time.
l can't believe she's flipping out now! l mean, who's going to take care of Curt and Susie? They're already settled in with a neighbor.
l have the number; you can call them later if you want.
So l'm just supposed to stay here and let her go crazy by herself? Valerie, she's going to be okay.
But she needs you to stay in Los Angeles right now.
l can't.
Didn't you tell her what happened? Valerie Look, l just can't stay here.
l mean it.
Hey, is this thing big enough? Yeah, try lifting it and you'd know it's big enough.
No, really.
How many kids are we having here tomorrow? lf l didn't know the real story, l'd swear you were faking this injury just so you can get out of work.
Look, l'm working here, all right? l'm keeping this Halloween vision alive, all right? So this is what you've been doing the last few days.
You weren't just avoiding me.
l wasn't avoiding you.
So you're okay? Yeah.
l told you, l'm fine about last weekend at Catalina.
And you've really forgiven me for trying to make it a sleepover? l mean it, we're fine.
And you're terrific.
How come l'm not convinced? All right.
That's it.
l'm implementing a no make-out rule at our party, especially for those of us who are romantically disadvantaged like myself.
That includes you and Brandon, Kelly.
Well, you don't have to worry about Brandon, 'cause l just called him and he's not coming today.
He's not? No, he wanted to, it's just that Valerie isn't leaving after all.
You think she'd reconsider if l bought her ticket? l'd pitch in for first class if it would get her out of that house with Brandon.
Yeah, the KEG curse on anyone who tries to string along two guys just so she can knife one of them in the back.
Well, l'm sure she didn't plan it that way.
Of course she did.
What else did she think could happen? That's the pumpkin guy.
Wait, l thought Muntz was picking up the pumpkins? Yeah, Muntz called for directions, and the pumpkin dude said he could deliver 'em.
Lucky break, huh? Hmm.
Okay, let's go slackers! lt's pumpkin time.
Oh, my God, what am l going to do? Donna, they were bound to run into each other sooner or later.
Oh! You could start running now.
Great, thanks.
Hey.
Hey.
So, who's this? This is my cousin Tommy.
Hi.
Hi.
Sorority sisters wouldn't approve, huh? Well, l just haven't told them about us yet.
Hey, Tommy, why don't you hop down and start unloading these pumpkins, huh? All right.
So, uh, what did you mean about that sorority sisters thing? Oh, l don't know.
You didn't exactly introduce me to all your friends that night at the Peach Pit.
l know they're all college types.
Everyone, this is Ray! And this here is his cousin Tommy.
So, Tommy, how old are you? About 35? Almost nine.
Yeah? Well, we're having a party here tomorrow for people that are almost nine.
You want to come? Can l? Hey, he's the man.
lf he invites you, you'd better be there.
All right, cool! Hey, thanks, man.
You're about the first guy on campus that's ever gotten off his pedestal and said hello.
Hey, liberte, egalite, fraternite.
Next time they tell you KEG is a bunch of elitist stiffs, you'll set them straight, eh? Yeah.
Whatever.
l was up all night thinking, and l have an aunt in Tucson who might let me live with her.
Valerie, you're not going anywhere.
Cindy, l heard you when my mom called.
You don't have to pretend you want me to stay.
All right, all right.
l won't lie to you.
When your mother said she was incapable of taking care of you, it definitely threw us for a loop.
But we're not going to cut you loose.
We've known your parents since before you were born.
And in this family, when we have a problem, we work it out.
Right, Brandon? l tried to tell you yesterday.
The fact is, l should have warned you more clearly about Dylan McKay.
There was a long history before you even got here, and Dylan's always been very complex.
l think it's time that we all acknowledge what Dylan McKay has become and stay away.
Oh, l told Andrea she could stop by and borrow Brenda's old bunny suit for Hannah.
l'll get it.
Where's it at? Oh, it's right by the door.
l know you guys are all putting yourselves out.
l'll do my part.
l know you will.
Are you all right? Yeah, l'm okay.
l just wish l could start with a clean slate.
You have that here.
That's what we're saying.
Cindy, come here! You gotta see this.
Oh, does this bring back memories or what? Aw, come here, honey.
Aw, yes! l just can't wait till we have one of our own.
lf they make rabbit suits in adult sizes, l'll get one for each of you.
Very funny, Brandon.
What do you think she even makes of Halloween, anyway? Oh, at this age, about all that registers is if Mom and Dad are nearby.
Could you repeat that, please? l'm trying to convince Andrea here that Hannah will not be permanently scarred by celebrating Day of the Dead with my family -tomorrow night.
-''Day of the Dead''? l know, it sounds morbid, but it's this really great, old Mexican tradition.
lt's part harvest festival, part Aztec ritual with a little bit of Catholicism thrown in.
Something for everyone, huh? The bottom line is, you sit in a cemetery on a grave all night long.
Wait a second, wait just one second.
l sat through Yom Kippur, and l'm telling you, it wasn't exactly a barrel of laughs.
Anybody got a clean diaper? Oh, l do.
Right here.
Yeah, l'll come with you.
l don't know about sitting on a grave, but l'm all for remembering your heritage.
Yeah, well, me too, Bran, but l've got to tell you, if my Hasidic grandfather from Minsk knew that Hannah was going to be sitting in a cemetery all night for a part-Aztec, part-Catholic harvest ritual, he'd die all over again.
Nat, this Peach Pit After Dark is a no-brainer.
You saw what l saw; the money was just rolling in.
Yeah, but that's when Steve was running the business.
Look, Steve is so replaceable.
Can l tell you, we can just get somebody else to do that job? Sure, your friends, your partners, everyone-- they're all replaceable.
l didn't say that.
No, you just said Steve.
The man who thought of the idea, got his friends to put it together, the guy that made it a success.
l get the picture.
Do you? ls any of this real to you, Dylan? l don't even know if l'm getting through to you any more.
ls it real to me?! Hey, l'm the one that took out a mortgage on my house! lf this thing doesn't work, l'm on the street in two months.
That's how real this is to me.
The theatre down the street just got out.
We'll talk about this tomorrow.
All right, l'll be here first thing in the morning.
First thing in the morning is our busiest time.
You would know that if you had ever really taken an interest in this place.
So when is good? Fine, l'll be here at 4:00.
Four! Okay, some of the more recent sightings are pretty questionable, but that doesn't change the near certainty that some of these close encounters have to be real.
Here's one well-documented hot spot not too far away.
lt's in the desert, just east of Barstow.
lt's been a magnet all year for people who want to find out for themselves what this UFO thing lf l had known you were inviting me to a UFO lecture, l would have shown up even later.
Shh, l want to hear this.
The evidence is starting to pile up.
There have been hundreds of sightings, and several people report being abducted for what they describe as breeding experiments.
Sex with aliens? Hmm.
Might be worth taking a little drive out to the desert, don't you think? Or we could just go to the movies.
Come on, we'll grab a camcorder and go looking for little green men.
Martian bait-- who could say no to that? So what do we have here? ls it unidentified? Does it fly? Yes, absolutely.
Absolutely.
Hey, bro.
Need a hand? No, thanks, got one.
Could've used yours about eight hours ago.
Well, l can't travel back through time, but l'd do that for you if l could.
You know that, don't you? Don't get cute with me, Walsh.
l know you're fraternizing with the enemy.
Well, if it's any consolation, you're doing better than she is.
Oh, yeah, how do you know? l fell for her, she broke my heart.
And don't even get me started about my good buddy, Dylan McKay.
You'll get no argument from me there, man.
Total write-off.
Valerie's no saint either.
l know, and l'm not saying forget what happened, but But what? Steve, she was wrong, no doubt about it, but Valerie really feels like everyone hates her.
l wonder what she did to deserve that, huh? Yeah, please.
Look.
She'd freak if she knew l was telling you this, but her mom checked herself into a mental ward.
That's why she's not going back to Buffalo.
You're kidding.
No.
Her father killed himself.
Her mom's lost it.
She's got no one, man; can't you give her a break? lf you give her another chance, everybody will.
Come on, bro.
''Come on, bro''? ls that the best argument you can come up with, ''Come on, bro''? Have her come by the KEG party tomorrow.
You're doing a good thing here, man.
l may forgive Valerie, l may not, but don't ever ask me to forgive Dylan McKay.
Like l said, you'll get no argument from me there.
No, sir, no, please, l l appreciate you calling me at my home at 1 1 :00 p.
m.
Yes, your your diligence is commendable.
However my computer records, l have right in front of me, and they show that l wrote your company a check, number 150 at 2:00 p.
m Hold on.
You two are the first human beings l've ever met who actually like strawberry ice cream.
Yeah, well, it's not for us.
The aliens like it.
l said, ''reportedly'', okay? They reportedly like it.
Wait a second, what aliens? The aliens that have been abducting people in the desert outside of Barstow.
Are you serious about this? David, l saw that, all right, and if you don't want to go, l'm just gonna go by myself, okay? To Barstow? Do you know how hot it gets there? Well, luckily l've got lots of ice cream and dry ice, so Donna, do you know where these two are off to? Strawberry ice cream.
Hmm.
Somewhere with aliens? Relax.
Clare told me when l got back last night.
Yeah, l caught her sneaking in at, like, 3:00 in the morning.
Well, l think that's my cue to start loading up the truck.
Well, Ray and l went to some blues club, and the next thing l knew, it was late.
So that's where you two snuck off to all of a sudden.
Why? Was it that obvious? You think Griffin noticed? No, l don't think so.
But would you tell him already? l'm dying waiting for the ax to fall.
Maybe l should go to the desert with you and get myself abducted.
And miss a party where two guys are after you? Where are your priorities? Hmm Here you go, come on.
You're crazy.
You know that? Okay go! -time! -Yeah! And the winner, with a new record of eight apples in 30 seconds, Tommy! Hey! Now you got to eat all those.
Just kidding.
This is cool.
How do you get into a fraternity? Well, you gotta go to college is how you get in, so do your homework, all right? Hey, uh, have you seen Donna around? Uh, mystery to me.
Um if she shows up, l'll tell her you're looking for her.
Thanks, man.
All right, man, you won.
You know, l haven't seen Brandon.
Are you sure he's not hiding underneath there? Ugh! This is going to be a lot harder than l thought.
Just file it under ''the things we do for Brandon Walsh.
'' Ready? Hi, Valerie.
Hi, Kel.
So, how's the hand? lt's already decorated for Halloween.
Hmm.
Well, l-l brought this for the kids.
Wow.
lt must have taken hours to make this, huh? Just about.
-Let's put it on the table.
-Okay.
Thanks.
Well, it looks like you've already done your good deed for the day.
So now it's time for you to do yours.
Oh, boy! Come over here and l'll grant you a wish.
Hi.
The party's outside.
What are you doing in here? l just can't juggle them.
l'm afraid to ask.
Griffin and Ray.
You're playing two guys against each other, too? Did you ever think, when a hearse went by That you would be the next to die? They take you out to the family plot There you wither, decay and rot The worms crawl in and the worms crawl out Up your stomach and out your snout The worms crawl in and the worms crawl out The worms play pinochle on your snout They wrap you in a clean white sheet And bury you under six feet deep Takes you back to third grade, doesn't it? Actually, it kind of reminds me how morbid Halloween really is.
But you think she's gonna last the night in a cemetery? Aw, it's okay.
You know, honey, if you want me to take her by myself, l will, all right? Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Did we miss something? Family feud.
Kind of minor compared to what l'm going through, though.
They put you in a wooden box l'm sorry to hear about your mom.
Uh, ls there anything l can do? No.
You've gone way beyond the call of duty.
The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out You know, there's a party here tonight, Valerie.
You have a costume? l could probably fix something up.
You sure you want me to come? Your eyes fall in, your teeth fall out Yeah.
Yeah, l do.
But make sure it's in green, so we match.
You know what l'm saying? Up your stomach and out your snout The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out Pumpkin boy can wail.
And Donna, break out your chewin' tobaccy.
l think he likes you.
And then you turn a slimy green And pus comes out like fresh whipped cream And me without my spoon The worms crawl in and the worms crawl out Up your stomach and out your snout The worms crawl in and the worms crawl out The worms play pinochle on your snout.
Come on, Tommy, let's go.
Ray! Ray, it's not what it looked like.
Sure, he's probably your brother, huh? Get in the truck, Tommy.
l told you l sort of had a boyfriend.
Yeah, and l sort of thought we were way beyond that.
Wait, please don't leave.
At least let me explain.
Okay, tonight.
l'll pick you up.
Ray, l have a party here l can't get out of.
Okay, fine, tonight.
Donna, forget it.
You got your friends.
Go on back to them and have a good time.
Oh, you know, man, some days the gods, they just aren't with you.
Luckily the presidents are.
Okay, l'm giving odds here, anybody? Anybody want some of this? Give them a break, McKay.
You've been on a roll for three hours, man.
Well l was supposed to meet my partner at 4:00.
Yeah, well, you're raking in some dough here.
l'm sure he won't mind.
Yeah, but somehow l don't think it's gonna be that easy.
But what can l tell you, you know? l'm a victim.
All l need is a cue stick nine perfect spheres, no partners, no human element, no women making unreasonable demands on me.
Just me and a few simple laws of geometry.
Yeah, and a growing pile of twenties.
Mm.
lcing on the cake.
lt's the best high in the world.
Oh, believe me, it's not the best high in the world.
Well, this must be the place everyone talks about.
Yeah, l guess so.
l just wouldn't order anything with mayonnaise on it unless you're looking for a close encounter of the food poisoning kind.
David, just behave, okay? These people hold the keys to the best sighting areas.
This place is giving me the creeps.
Shh! Come on.
Let's go sit down.
Hi.
ls this okay here? All right.
Howdy.
So you guys get a lot of kids in here? Nope, not kids.
They're small.
He means aliens.
Wait a second.
Are you telling me you get aliens in this place? Not a lot.
Some.
Look, we really want to see some UFOs.
Could you tell us the best spot where we could do that? You want to see mine? You have a spaceship? Got a nice video of it, too.
Only $39.
95.
So where do you and your spaceship come from? David, don't.
-All right? -What? lt's no secret, ma'am.
l'm from Xarga Patonia.
l could sell you a set of maps if you like.
What, are you getting the camera? Clare.
Sorry, excuse us for a second.
Clare, Clare.
What's wrong? These people are hilarious.
These people are crackpots, all right? They're making a total mockery of the whole thing.
That's fine, talk it over.
When you decide, come on back.
Plus, they're making money on it.
You know, it's disgusting.
Oh, come on.
Like you really believe in all this UFO stuff.
You're kidding me.
Oh, hey! We've got this pair of handcrafted Xarga Patonia mugs.
You might like these.
Hey! Trick or treat, man! Come on! Open up! Guys, guys, you're going to break the glass.
l can see the guy in there.
He won't open the door.
Dylan! Come on! Open up! Dylan, it's me! What? l was, uh on my way over to the fraternity party, but something came over me.
You didn't bring your bodyguard Sanders with you, did you? 'Cause l'm not up for that right now.
No.
lt's just me and Jesse James over here.
He needs a trick or treat.
Bullets on the coffee table, Scotch in the cupboard.
ls that single malt Scotch? Um here.
Great.
What am l going to do with five bucks, man? Share that! What, five bucks? Come on.
Every kid within a hundred miles of this place is going to be here.
Happy Halloween to you, too.
On my way over, l was wondering if you'd be glad to see me.
Oh, what, are you kidding? You look good.
Mm, you look real good.
Oh.
What is it? Laces? l thought those were obsolete by now.
l thought we'd be moving into Velcro body pads or something.
Dylan, are you on something? Mm-hmm.
l'm going to be all over you in just a minute.
l got a booster at the pool hall.
You want some? No.
l've got to go to the fraternity party.
l've got to be on my best behavior.
Well, then you definitely came to the wrong place, because l had the most amazing day.
Look at that.
Look, look, look.
Dylan, what are those bullets for? Oh, those are for the gun.
What is the gun for? lt kind of goes with the bullets.
Dylan, you've got to get rid of that thing.
Hey, Val, lighten up.
l'm just cleaning it.
Look.
Dylan, my father killed himself that way.
Well, l'm real sorry to hear that, but l don't need you coming over here and telling me all this depressing stuff! lt's the first good day l've had in two months! Dylan, please, just get rid of it, okay? Why don't you just do us both a big favor, huh? Skip on off to the frat party.
The way this day is going, we're probably camping on the wrong side of Barstow.
Yeah, well, no aliens means more strawberry ice cream for us.
You want some? No.
This experiment's a total loss.
Well, you know what? lf you really think that, we can always pack up and head home.
No.
lt's just so maddening.
l know there's got to be a mother ship or two floating around up there.
Do you really believe that? Come on, David.
Ask nine out of ten people whether or not they think we're alone in the universe, and they'll say, ''No.
Of course not.
'' And then tell the same people you believe in UFOs, and it's, like.
''We have some wonderful new treatments, dear.
'' Yeah, well, l think you'd look beautiful in a straitjacket.
David.
What? Just don't, okay? Ah! This is so beautiful.
Jesse told me it was beautiful.
l didn't believe him.
Well, l guess it's just something you gotta see for yourself.
Right, Ma? Dodger Dogs? Well, you know, my father was the world's biggest Dodger fan.
Boy, that's the truth.
l was so afraid he was going to disown me after my own pitching career ended with Little League.
No.
Luis loved this boy.
No, no.
He liked me, Ma.
He loved Fernando Valenzuela.
Hey, Aunt Celia, Uncle Mario.
Como esta? You remember Andrea, don't you? Hi, Uncle Mario, Aunt Celia.
This is Hannah.
Oh! Jesse, you were right.
She's a beautiful little girl.
Yes.
You like this, do you? Well, this is for your first communion, huh? Precious.
So what do you think a UFO would look like anyway? l don't know.
lt could be a flash of light across the sky, something hovering near the surface, or a string of lights in the middle of nowhere.
You mean something like that? Hmm? There.
Oh, my God! That's it! Come on! Wait.
You want me to get the camera? Yes! And the ice cream, too! Come on! Hurry up! l am hurrying.
Oh, God! Oh, God! l can feel it.
This is it! What are we going to say to them? l mean, what if they don't like us? What if we don't like them? Here.
Give me that.
This is Clare Arnold, homo sapiens, in the desert near Barstow preparing for close contact with ls ''aliens'' an insulting term? l'm sure it's not what they call themselves, right? Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! lt's a satellite dish.
Oh You know, this really isn't a good place to have a nervous breakdown.
There's scorpions and snakes and things.
l'm such an idiot.
You could tell me l'm not, you know.
Yeah, well, l l feel like one, too.
Well, l guess that's a start.
Mm, your hands are all sticky.
l like that in a man, you know.
No, no.
That's baloney, all right? lt doesn't take two hours to get here from your house.
l know exactly where she is.
She's with McKay.
l got to go! l called Ray's mom.
l even went to the pumpkin place after he left.
No one's seen him.
At least that's what they said.
You've really fallen for this guy, huh? l just wish it hadn't ended with him storming off like that.
What about Griffin? Well, our relationship's kind of hit the point where, you know Sex.
Right.
Well, if he's not willing to accept the fact that you want to stay a virgin, then you've got a big problem.
Yeah, well, l haven't exactly told him.
Not even after last weekend? lt's not that easy, you know.
Donna, you're stringing this guy along.
You've got to tell him.
Fine, but just not now, okay? Will you just stick here with me, please? l'm sorry.
l can't.
l'm getting up early to go to a swap meet with Jackie.
Someone else is going to have to hold your hand on this one.
Great.
Man, they should have outlawed that Valerie chick when they banned assault weapons.
Her not showing up pushed Sanders right over the edge.
She should have been honest with him from the beginning.
l got to go.
See ya.
What was that about? Well, Kelly thinks l need to talk to you about a few things.
Kelly thinks? Well, l guess l do, too.
About why we're not sleeping together.
Who is he, Donna? What? No.
lt it's not another guy.
So you're not seeing anyone else? Look, you're not Valerie what's-her-name, and l'm not Steve Sanders, so just tell me the truth.
Who is he? Well, l went out with Ray Pruit a couple of times We're talking about Mr.
Pumpkin Head? You know what, Griffin? Go to hell! When you tell your mother that l wasn't good enough, be sure to tell her that you're getting it on with the delivery boy! What's he do? Throw you down in the back of his pickup? What makes you think you can talk to me that way? Because you're a pathological tease who sluts around and.
Oh, that really put me in my place.
l can't believe l put up with you as long as l did.
Please, just drive.
That's right.
Just tiptoe in, and everything will be fine.
l tried to go to the KEG party, Brandon.
l l really did.
But the car had a mind of its own.
Right? Let me guess.
lt drove you right over to Dylan's house.
Okay, so l'm a huge disappointment.
Spare me the self-pity, will you? l had to beg everyone to give you a second chance.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have.
You know, l can't go to these frat parties knowing Dylan is going down and down and l'm the only one there for him.
That's his choice.
How can you just turn your back on him? l mean, you're willing to let me start over 20 times if l have to.
What did Dylan do that's so horrible, you have to shut him out? He knows if he wants help, all he has to do is say the word.
But he is.
l mean, what kind of hitting bottom are you waiting for? He's over there drugged out of his mind.
He's taking drugs now? Yeah.
Hard stuff.
You know, it's like my father all over again.
Sitting around the house completely wasted, cleaning his gun.
-What gun? -You know what gun.
He said he nearly shot you with it last year.
He told me he got rid of it.
Well, obviously, he lied.
lt's not the first time.
How was he when you left him? l stayed with him until he more or less passed out.
Can l come? No.
Thanks for bringing me here.
lt feels like Griffin and that whole mess are a thousand miles away.
Well, when l was growing up, and things would get too crazy at home-- which was just about every day-- l would grab my guitar and l'd come up here.
And when l saw you whap that guy across the face tonight, l thought, here's someone who could use a change of scenery.
l don't know what came over me.
You're not usually a power hitter, huh? No.
Good.
Just checking.
You know, a guy's got to know what he's getting into.
What is it? There's no sorority sisters around this time.
This is really hard to say, but l need you to know.
Oh, God this is really hard to say.
Well, we got all the time in the world.
l want you to hear something l've been working on.
Ray, we can't have sex.
Yeah? Look, l don't have a disease or anything.
l'm just not gonna sleep with anyone till after l'm married.
So if you want to bail out or or just be friends or whatever l don't know, it's up to you.
l mean, if it's too weird.
Well, it's kind of weird, but Yeah.
That's why l wanted you to know.
Look, Donna, l came back tonight because all that mattered was seeing you again, and that's still all that matters.
Hey! Hey, man! Look, save it.
Look, his girlfriend's the one that gave us the money anyway, and she hit the road.
You guys take these.
You can head off that way.
Me and you go around back, cowboy.
Hey, get the hell out of here! l said get! He's got a gun! Run, man! Yeah, keep running! What are you laughing at? Now l hope we can get some sleep before she wakes up again.
You think your parents were offended that we didn't stay longer? Nah.
Are you kidding? Listen, it meant a lot to them that we came with Hannah.
Yeah, well, it did to me, too.
That's why Jesse, l'd l don't want to say this the wrong way.
Why? What is it? l think it's important that Hannah grows up feeling connected to your family and your heritage-- and, l mean that, l really do-- but Jesse, she's Jewish.
Oh, geez.
l thought we went over all this.
Well, so did l, but Look, l don't mind seeing this hanging in a store window-- l don't-- but on our daughter Jesse, you have to understand this isn't just a piece of jewelry to me.
l know.
l mean, it's not just a piece of jewelry to me, either.
l've been thinking about this all evening.
You can't be Jewish and Catholic.
But Hannah is.
But what does that mean? Look l know we're not the first people to wonder about this, but we'll find out, won't we? The three of us.
Just maybe not tonight.
Well, when? You know, if we did find Martians, l don't think l could've shared you with them.
You know, l think that's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Really? Mm-mm.
Um Just so l can plan my night, do you have? Yeah, l've got about, uh from high school.
Well, that should get us through the night.
l mean, l'm glad we're here.
l didn't want our first time to be getting drunk at some frat party and then waking up together in the morning.
What? l don't know, l just thought l felt something.
That would be me.
And l think l deserve your undivided attention.
Dylan? Dylan? Come on, man.
Come on.
Dylan.
Hey.
Come on, wake up.
Wake up.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, come on.
Come on, let's walk around a little bit here, huh? l'm fine! What, you think l OD'd? l was asleep.
You must be a heavy sleeper-- lt took me two minutes to wake you up.
l was very tired.
Big day shooting up the house? What house? This isn't my house.
l don't got a house.
Where's my gun? Look, Dylan, l know Kevin and Suzanne ripped you off, man, but you got to get over it.
Yeah, l'll get over it first thing in the morning.
All right, fine, then, don't get over it, but do something besides just getting wasted every day.
l mean, what are you saying, man, that there was never anything more to you than money? Don't, don't come over here after two months and start analyzing me! What do you know? How do you get so wise to come over here, man? Y-You live at home.
You live the most coddled existence of anybody that l know of, and yet you'll come in here and tell me that you have some idea as to what l'm going through? Man, you have no idea! Don't turn this around, man-- this ain't about me.
No, it ain't never about you, is it, Brandon? Brenda's got guts, man.
She had the guts-- she moved away to another continent just to get away from you.
Dylan, at this point in time, l'm about the only friend you've got-- are you sure you want to do this? May the bridges l burn light the way.
Okay.
Don't take my gun.
lf you walk out of here with it, l'll call the cops myself.
Go ahead-- my license number's 3E5503.
You want me to write it down? Just get out.
Get out!
You know, l don't get you.
l really don't.
Valerie, you're being way too hard on yourself.
Nobody wants you to move back to Buffalo.
Oh, yeah? Talk to Steve.
Steve's still got one good hand.
Dylan's still got a face.
They'll get over it.
And what about your parents? One thing about Jim and Cindy is, no matter how bad you screw up, you always get a second chance.
Don't tell them l told you this, but you also get a third, fourth and fifth, too.
Well, the way l'm going, even that wouldn't be enough.
You'll never know if you bail.
Brandon, l can't stay here.
l mean, everywhere l look, there's someone who hates me.
And l think you're exaggerating.
Call it what you want.
lt's time to cut my losses.
Don't worry about anything.
l understand.
He understands, too.
Abby, please.
Yes, l'll tell her for you.
Okay, Abby.
Bye-bye.
This is a lot more than we agreed to when we said we'd let her stay here.
Jim, did you honestly think all she'd need was a roof over her head? Well, don't pretend you saw this coming.
Saw what coming? Well, there's been a problem in Buffalo.
Your mother's thinking of checking herself into a clinic for a few days.
And she didn't want to talk to me? Valerie, she's been through a tough time.
l can't believe she's flipping out now! l mean, who's going to take care of Curt and Susie? They're already settled in with a neighbor.
l have the number; you can call them later if you want.
So l'm just supposed to stay here and let her go crazy by herself? Valerie, she's going to be okay.
But she needs you to stay in Los Angeles right now.
l can't.
Didn't you tell her what happened? Valerie Look, l just can't stay here.
l mean it.
Hey, is this thing big enough? Yeah, try lifting it and you'd know it's big enough.
No, really.
How many kids are we having here tomorrow? lf l didn't know the real story, l'd swear you were faking this injury just so you can get out of work.
Look, l'm working here, all right? l'm keeping this Halloween vision alive, all right? So this is what you've been doing the last few days.
You weren't just avoiding me.
l wasn't avoiding you.
So you're okay? Yeah.
l told you, l'm fine about last weekend at Catalina.
And you've really forgiven me for trying to make it a sleepover? l mean it, we're fine.
And you're terrific.
How come l'm not convinced? All right.
That's it.
l'm implementing a no make-out rule at our party, especially for those of us who are romantically disadvantaged like myself.
That includes you and Brandon, Kelly.
Well, you don't have to worry about Brandon, 'cause l just called him and he's not coming today.
He's not? No, he wanted to, it's just that Valerie isn't leaving after all.
You think she'd reconsider if l bought her ticket? l'd pitch in for first class if it would get her out of that house with Brandon.
Yeah, the KEG curse on anyone who tries to string along two guys just so she can knife one of them in the back.
Well, l'm sure she didn't plan it that way.
Of course she did.
What else did she think could happen? That's the pumpkin guy.
Wait, l thought Muntz was picking up the pumpkins? Yeah, Muntz called for directions, and the pumpkin dude said he could deliver 'em.
Lucky break, huh? Hmm.
Okay, let's go slackers! lt's pumpkin time.
Oh, my God, what am l going to do? Donna, they were bound to run into each other sooner or later.
Oh! You could start running now.
Great, thanks.
Hey.
Hey.
So, who's this? This is my cousin Tommy.
Hi.
Hi.
Sorority sisters wouldn't approve, huh? Well, l just haven't told them about us yet.
Hey, Tommy, why don't you hop down and start unloading these pumpkins, huh? All right.
So, uh, what did you mean about that sorority sisters thing? Oh, l don't know.
You didn't exactly introduce me to all your friends that night at the Peach Pit.
l know they're all college types.
Everyone, this is Ray! And this here is his cousin Tommy.
So, Tommy, how old are you? About 35? Almost nine.
Yeah? Well, we're having a party here tomorrow for people that are almost nine.
You want to come? Can l? Hey, he's the man.
lf he invites you, you'd better be there.
All right, cool! Hey, thanks, man.
You're about the first guy on campus that's ever gotten off his pedestal and said hello.
Hey, liberte, egalite, fraternite.
Next time they tell you KEG is a bunch of elitist stiffs, you'll set them straight, eh? Yeah.
Whatever.
l was up all night thinking, and l have an aunt in Tucson who might let me live with her.
Valerie, you're not going anywhere.
Cindy, l heard you when my mom called.
You don't have to pretend you want me to stay.
All right, all right.
l won't lie to you.
When your mother said she was incapable of taking care of you, it definitely threw us for a loop.
But we're not going to cut you loose.
We've known your parents since before you were born.
And in this family, when we have a problem, we work it out.
Right, Brandon? l tried to tell you yesterday.
The fact is, l should have warned you more clearly about Dylan McKay.
There was a long history before you even got here, and Dylan's always been very complex.
l think it's time that we all acknowledge what Dylan McKay has become and stay away.
Oh, l told Andrea she could stop by and borrow Brenda's old bunny suit for Hannah.
l'll get it.
Where's it at? Oh, it's right by the door.
l know you guys are all putting yourselves out.
l'll do my part.
l know you will.
Are you all right? Yeah, l'm okay.
l just wish l could start with a clean slate.
You have that here.
That's what we're saying.
Cindy, come here! You gotta see this.
Oh, does this bring back memories or what? Aw, come here, honey.
Aw, yes! l just can't wait till we have one of our own.
lf they make rabbit suits in adult sizes, l'll get one for each of you.
Very funny, Brandon.
What do you think she even makes of Halloween, anyway? Oh, at this age, about all that registers is if Mom and Dad are nearby.
Could you repeat that, please? l'm trying to convince Andrea here that Hannah will not be permanently scarred by celebrating Day of the Dead with my family -tomorrow night.
-''Day of the Dead''? l know, it sounds morbid, but it's this really great, old Mexican tradition.
lt's part harvest festival, part Aztec ritual with a little bit of Catholicism thrown in.
Something for everyone, huh? The bottom line is, you sit in a cemetery on a grave all night long.
Wait a second, wait just one second.
l sat through Yom Kippur, and l'm telling you, it wasn't exactly a barrel of laughs.
Anybody got a clean diaper? Oh, l do.
Right here.
Yeah, l'll come with you.
l don't know about sitting on a grave, but l'm all for remembering your heritage.
Yeah, well, me too, Bran, but l've got to tell you, if my Hasidic grandfather from Minsk knew that Hannah was going to be sitting in a cemetery all night for a part-Aztec, part-Catholic harvest ritual, he'd die all over again.
Nat, this Peach Pit After Dark is a no-brainer.
You saw what l saw; the money was just rolling in.
Yeah, but that's when Steve was running the business.
Look, Steve is so replaceable.
Can l tell you, we can just get somebody else to do that job? Sure, your friends, your partners, everyone-- they're all replaceable.
l didn't say that.
No, you just said Steve.
The man who thought of the idea, got his friends to put it together, the guy that made it a success.
l get the picture.
Do you? ls any of this real to you, Dylan? l don't even know if l'm getting through to you any more.
ls it real to me?! Hey, l'm the one that took out a mortgage on my house! lf this thing doesn't work, l'm on the street in two months.
That's how real this is to me.
The theatre down the street just got out.
We'll talk about this tomorrow.
All right, l'll be here first thing in the morning.
First thing in the morning is our busiest time.
You would know that if you had ever really taken an interest in this place.
So when is good? Fine, l'll be here at 4:00.
Four! Okay, some of the more recent sightings are pretty questionable, but that doesn't change the near certainty that some of these close encounters have to be real.
Here's one well-documented hot spot not too far away.
lt's in the desert, just east of Barstow.
lt's been a magnet all year for people who want to find out for themselves what this UFO thing lf l had known you were inviting me to a UFO lecture, l would have shown up even later.
Shh, l want to hear this.
The evidence is starting to pile up.
There have been hundreds of sightings, and several people report being abducted for what they describe as breeding experiments.
Sex with aliens? Hmm.
Might be worth taking a little drive out to the desert, don't you think? Or we could just go to the movies.
Come on, we'll grab a camcorder and go looking for little green men.
Martian bait-- who could say no to that? So what do we have here? ls it unidentified? Does it fly? Yes, absolutely.
Absolutely.
Hey, bro.
Need a hand? No, thanks, got one.
Could've used yours about eight hours ago.
Well, l can't travel back through time, but l'd do that for you if l could.
You know that, don't you? Don't get cute with me, Walsh.
l know you're fraternizing with the enemy.
Well, if it's any consolation, you're doing better than she is.
Oh, yeah, how do you know? l fell for her, she broke my heart.
And don't even get me started about my good buddy, Dylan McKay.
You'll get no argument from me there, man.
Total write-off.
Valerie's no saint either.
l know, and l'm not saying forget what happened, but But what? Steve, she was wrong, no doubt about it, but Valerie really feels like everyone hates her.
l wonder what she did to deserve that, huh? Yeah, please.
Look.
She'd freak if she knew l was telling you this, but her mom checked herself into a mental ward.
That's why she's not going back to Buffalo.
You're kidding.
No.
Her father killed himself.
Her mom's lost it.
She's got no one, man; can't you give her a break? lf you give her another chance, everybody will.
Come on, bro.
''Come on, bro''? ls that the best argument you can come up with, ''Come on, bro''? Have her come by the KEG party tomorrow.
You're doing a good thing here, man.
l may forgive Valerie, l may not, but don't ever ask me to forgive Dylan McKay.
Like l said, you'll get no argument from me there.
No, sir, no, please, l l appreciate you calling me at my home at 1 1 :00 p.
m.
Yes, your your diligence is commendable.
However my computer records, l have right in front of me, and they show that l wrote your company a check, number 150 at 2:00 p.
m Hold on.
You two are the first human beings l've ever met who actually like strawberry ice cream.
Yeah, well, it's not for us.
The aliens like it.
l said, ''reportedly'', okay? They reportedly like it.
Wait a second, what aliens? The aliens that have been abducting people in the desert outside of Barstow.
Are you serious about this? David, l saw that, all right, and if you don't want to go, l'm just gonna go by myself, okay? To Barstow? Do you know how hot it gets there? Well, luckily l've got lots of ice cream and dry ice, so Donna, do you know where these two are off to? Strawberry ice cream.
Hmm.
Somewhere with aliens? Relax.
Clare told me when l got back last night.
Yeah, l caught her sneaking in at, like, 3:00 in the morning.
Well, l think that's my cue to start loading up the truck.
Well, Ray and l went to some blues club, and the next thing l knew, it was late.
So that's where you two snuck off to all of a sudden.
Why? Was it that obvious? You think Griffin noticed? No, l don't think so.
But would you tell him already? l'm dying waiting for the ax to fall.
Maybe l should go to the desert with you and get myself abducted.
And miss a party where two guys are after you? Where are your priorities? Hmm Here you go, come on.
You're crazy.
You know that? Okay go! -time! -Yeah! And the winner, with a new record of eight apples in 30 seconds, Tommy! Hey! Now you got to eat all those.
Just kidding.
This is cool.
How do you get into a fraternity? Well, you gotta go to college is how you get in, so do your homework, all right? Hey, uh, have you seen Donna around? Uh, mystery to me.
Um if she shows up, l'll tell her you're looking for her.
Thanks, man.
All right, man, you won.
You know, l haven't seen Brandon.
Are you sure he's not hiding underneath there? Ugh! This is going to be a lot harder than l thought.
Just file it under ''the things we do for Brandon Walsh.
'' Ready? Hi, Valerie.
Hi, Kel.
So, how's the hand? lt's already decorated for Halloween.
Hmm.
Well, l-l brought this for the kids.
Wow.
lt must have taken hours to make this, huh? Just about.
-Let's put it on the table.
-Okay.
Thanks.
Well, it looks like you've already done your good deed for the day.
So now it's time for you to do yours.
Oh, boy! Come over here and l'll grant you a wish.
Hi.
The party's outside.
What are you doing in here? l just can't juggle them.
l'm afraid to ask.
Griffin and Ray.
You're playing two guys against each other, too? Did you ever think, when a hearse went by That you would be the next to die? They take you out to the family plot There you wither, decay and rot The worms crawl in and the worms crawl out Up your stomach and out your snout The worms crawl in and the worms crawl out The worms play pinochle on your snout They wrap you in a clean white sheet And bury you under six feet deep Takes you back to third grade, doesn't it? Actually, it kind of reminds me how morbid Halloween really is.
But you think she's gonna last the night in a cemetery? Aw, it's okay.
You know, honey, if you want me to take her by myself, l will, all right? Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Did we miss something? Family feud.
Kind of minor compared to what l'm going through, though.
They put you in a wooden box l'm sorry to hear about your mom.
Uh, ls there anything l can do? No.
You've gone way beyond the call of duty.
The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out You know, there's a party here tonight, Valerie.
You have a costume? l could probably fix something up.
You sure you want me to come? Your eyes fall in, your teeth fall out Yeah.
Yeah, l do.
But make sure it's in green, so we match.
You know what l'm saying? Up your stomach and out your snout The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out Pumpkin boy can wail.
And Donna, break out your chewin' tobaccy.
l think he likes you.
And then you turn a slimy green And pus comes out like fresh whipped cream And me without my spoon The worms crawl in and the worms crawl out Up your stomach and out your snout The worms crawl in and the worms crawl out The worms play pinochle on your snout.
Come on, Tommy, let's go.
Ray! Ray, it's not what it looked like.
Sure, he's probably your brother, huh? Get in the truck, Tommy.
l told you l sort of had a boyfriend.
Yeah, and l sort of thought we were way beyond that.
Wait, please don't leave.
At least let me explain.
Okay, tonight.
l'll pick you up.
Ray, l have a party here l can't get out of.
Okay, fine, tonight.
Donna, forget it.
You got your friends.
Go on back to them and have a good time.
Oh, you know, man, some days the gods, they just aren't with you.
Luckily the presidents are.
Okay, l'm giving odds here, anybody? Anybody want some of this? Give them a break, McKay.
You've been on a roll for three hours, man.
Well l was supposed to meet my partner at 4:00.
Yeah, well, you're raking in some dough here.
l'm sure he won't mind.
Yeah, but somehow l don't think it's gonna be that easy.
But what can l tell you, you know? l'm a victim.
All l need is a cue stick nine perfect spheres, no partners, no human element, no women making unreasonable demands on me.
Just me and a few simple laws of geometry.
Yeah, and a growing pile of twenties.
Mm.
lcing on the cake.
lt's the best high in the world.
Oh, believe me, it's not the best high in the world.
Well, this must be the place everyone talks about.
Yeah, l guess so.
l just wouldn't order anything with mayonnaise on it unless you're looking for a close encounter of the food poisoning kind.
David, just behave, okay? These people hold the keys to the best sighting areas.
This place is giving me the creeps.
Shh! Come on.
Let's go sit down.
Hi.
ls this okay here? All right.
Howdy.
So you guys get a lot of kids in here? Nope, not kids.
They're small.
He means aliens.
Wait a second.
Are you telling me you get aliens in this place? Not a lot.
Some.
Look, we really want to see some UFOs.
Could you tell us the best spot where we could do that? You want to see mine? You have a spaceship? Got a nice video of it, too.
Only $39.
95.
So where do you and your spaceship come from? David, don't.
-All right? -What? lt's no secret, ma'am.
l'm from Xarga Patonia.
l could sell you a set of maps if you like.
What, are you getting the camera? Clare.
Sorry, excuse us for a second.
Clare, Clare.
What's wrong? These people are hilarious.
These people are crackpots, all right? They're making a total mockery of the whole thing.
That's fine, talk it over.
When you decide, come on back.
Plus, they're making money on it.
You know, it's disgusting.
Oh, come on.
Like you really believe in all this UFO stuff.
You're kidding me.
Oh, hey! We've got this pair of handcrafted Xarga Patonia mugs.
You might like these.
Hey! Trick or treat, man! Come on! Open up! Guys, guys, you're going to break the glass.
l can see the guy in there.
He won't open the door.
Dylan! Come on! Open up! Dylan, it's me! What? l was, uh on my way over to the fraternity party, but something came over me.
You didn't bring your bodyguard Sanders with you, did you? 'Cause l'm not up for that right now.
No.
lt's just me and Jesse James over here.
He needs a trick or treat.
Bullets on the coffee table, Scotch in the cupboard.
ls that single malt Scotch? Um here.
Great.
What am l going to do with five bucks, man? Share that! What, five bucks? Come on.
Every kid within a hundred miles of this place is going to be here.
Happy Halloween to you, too.
On my way over, l was wondering if you'd be glad to see me.
Oh, what, are you kidding? You look good.
Mm, you look real good.
Oh.
What is it? Laces? l thought those were obsolete by now.
l thought we'd be moving into Velcro body pads or something.
Dylan, are you on something? Mm-hmm.
l'm going to be all over you in just a minute.
l got a booster at the pool hall.
You want some? No.
l've got to go to the fraternity party.
l've got to be on my best behavior.
Well, then you definitely came to the wrong place, because l had the most amazing day.
Look at that.
Look, look, look.
Dylan, what are those bullets for? Oh, those are for the gun.
What is the gun for? lt kind of goes with the bullets.
Dylan, you've got to get rid of that thing.
Hey, Val, lighten up.
l'm just cleaning it.
Look.
Dylan, my father killed himself that way.
Well, l'm real sorry to hear that, but l don't need you coming over here and telling me all this depressing stuff! lt's the first good day l've had in two months! Dylan, please, just get rid of it, okay? Why don't you just do us both a big favor, huh? Skip on off to the frat party.
The way this day is going, we're probably camping on the wrong side of Barstow.
Yeah, well, no aliens means more strawberry ice cream for us.
You want some? No.
This experiment's a total loss.
Well, you know what? lf you really think that, we can always pack up and head home.
No.
lt's just so maddening.
l know there's got to be a mother ship or two floating around up there.
Do you really believe that? Come on, David.
Ask nine out of ten people whether or not they think we're alone in the universe, and they'll say, ''No.
Of course not.
'' And then tell the same people you believe in UFOs, and it's, like.
''We have some wonderful new treatments, dear.
'' Yeah, well, l think you'd look beautiful in a straitjacket.
David.
What? Just don't, okay? Ah! This is so beautiful.
Jesse told me it was beautiful.
l didn't believe him.
Well, l guess it's just something you gotta see for yourself.
Right, Ma? Dodger Dogs? Well, you know, my father was the world's biggest Dodger fan.
Boy, that's the truth.
l was so afraid he was going to disown me after my own pitching career ended with Little League.
No.
Luis loved this boy.
No, no.
He liked me, Ma.
He loved Fernando Valenzuela.
Hey, Aunt Celia, Uncle Mario.
Como esta? You remember Andrea, don't you? Hi, Uncle Mario, Aunt Celia.
This is Hannah.
Oh! Jesse, you were right.
She's a beautiful little girl.
Yes.
You like this, do you? Well, this is for your first communion, huh? Precious.
So what do you think a UFO would look like anyway? l don't know.
lt could be a flash of light across the sky, something hovering near the surface, or a string of lights in the middle of nowhere.
You mean something like that? Hmm? There.
Oh, my God! That's it! Come on! Wait.
You want me to get the camera? Yes! And the ice cream, too! Come on! Hurry up! l am hurrying.
Oh, God! Oh, God! l can feel it.
This is it! What are we going to say to them? l mean, what if they don't like us? What if we don't like them? Here.
Give me that.
This is Clare Arnold, homo sapiens, in the desert near Barstow preparing for close contact with ls ''aliens'' an insulting term? l'm sure it's not what they call themselves, right? Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! lt's a satellite dish.
Oh You know, this really isn't a good place to have a nervous breakdown.
There's scorpions and snakes and things.
l'm such an idiot.
You could tell me l'm not, you know.
Yeah, well, l l feel like one, too.
Well, l guess that's a start.
Mm, your hands are all sticky.
l like that in a man, you know.
No, no.
That's baloney, all right? lt doesn't take two hours to get here from your house.
l know exactly where she is.
She's with McKay.
l got to go! l called Ray's mom.
l even went to the pumpkin place after he left.
No one's seen him.
At least that's what they said.
You've really fallen for this guy, huh? l just wish it hadn't ended with him storming off like that.
What about Griffin? Well, our relationship's kind of hit the point where, you know Sex.
Right.
Well, if he's not willing to accept the fact that you want to stay a virgin, then you've got a big problem.
Yeah, well, l haven't exactly told him.
Not even after last weekend? lt's not that easy, you know.
Donna, you're stringing this guy along.
You've got to tell him.
Fine, but just not now, okay? Will you just stick here with me, please? l'm sorry.
l can't.
l'm getting up early to go to a swap meet with Jackie.
Someone else is going to have to hold your hand on this one.
Great.
Man, they should have outlawed that Valerie chick when they banned assault weapons.
Her not showing up pushed Sanders right over the edge.
She should have been honest with him from the beginning.
l got to go.
See ya.
What was that about? Well, Kelly thinks l need to talk to you about a few things.
Kelly thinks? Well, l guess l do, too.
About why we're not sleeping together.
Who is he, Donna? What? No.
lt it's not another guy.
So you're not seeing anyone else? Look, you're not Valerie what's-her-name, and l'm not Steve Sanders, so just tell me the truth.
Who is he? Well, l went out with Ray Pruit a couple of times We're talking about Mr.
Pumpkin Head? You know what, Griffin? Go to hell! When you tell your mother that l wasn't good enough, be sure to tell her that you're getting it on with the delivery boy! What's he do? Throw you down in the back of his pickup? What makes you think you can talk to me that way? Because you're a pathological tease who sluts around and.
Oh, that really put me in my place.
l can't believe l put up with you as long as l did.
Please, just drive.
That's right.
Just tiptoe in, and everything will be fine.
l tried to go to the KEG party, Brandon.
l l really did.
But the car had a mind of its own.
Right? Let me guess.
lt drove you right over to Dylan's house.
Okay, so l'm a huge disappointment.
Spare me the self-pity, will you? l had to beg everyone to give you a second chance.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have.
You know, l can't go to these frat parties knowing Dylan is going down and down and l'm the only one there for him.
That's his choice.
How can you just turn your back on him? l mean, you're willing to let me start over 20 times if l have to.
What did Dylan do that's so horrible, you have to shut him out? He knows if he wants help, all he has to do is say the word.
But he is.
l mean, what kind of hitting bottom are you waiting for? He's over there drugged out of his mind.
He's taking drugs now? Yeah.
Hard stuff.
You know, it's like my father all over again.
Sitting around the house completely wasted, cleaning his gun.
-What gun? -You know what gun.
He said he nearly shot you with it last year.
He told me he got rid of it.
Well, obviously, he lied.
lt's not the first time.
How was he when you left him? l stayed with him until he more or less passed out.
Can l come? No.
Thanks for bringing me here.
lt feels like Griffin and that whole mess are a thousand miles away.
Well, when l was growing up, and things would get too crazy at home-- which was just about every day-- l would grab my guitar and l'd come up here.
And when l saw you whap that guy across the face tonight, l thought, here's someone who could use a change of scenery.
l don't know what came over me.
You're not usually a power hitter, huh? No.
Good.
Just checking.
You know, a guy's got to know what he's getting into.
What is it? There's no sorority sisters around this time.
This is really hard to say, but l need you to know.
Oh, God this is really hard to say.
Well, we got all the time in the world.
l want you to hear something l've been working on.
Ray, we can't have sex.
Yeah? Look, l don't have a disease or anything.
l'm just not gonna sleep with anyone till after l'm married.
So if you want to bail out or or just be friends or whatever l don't know, it's up to you.
l mean, if it's too weird.
Well, it's kind of weird, but Yeah.
That's why l wanted you to know.
Look, Donna, l came back tonight because all that mattered was seeing you again, and that's still all that matters.
Hey! Hey, man! Look, save it.
Look, his girlfriend's the one that gave us the money anyway, and she hit the road.
You guys take these.
You can head off that way.
Me and you go around back, cowboy.
Hey, get the hell out of here! l said get! He's got a gun! Run, man! Yeah, keep running! What are you laughing at? Now l hope we can get some sleep before she wakes up again.
You think your parents were offended that we didn't stay longer? Nah.
Are you kidding? Listen, it meant a lot to them that we came with Hannah.
Yeah, well, it did to me, too.
That's why Jesse, l'd l don't want to say this the wrong way.
Why? What is it? l think it's important that Hannah grows up feeling connected to your family and your heritage-- and, l mean that, l really do-- but Jesse, she's Jewish.
Oh, geez.
l thought we went over all this.
Well, so did l, but Look, l don't mind seeing this hanging in a store window-- l don't-- but on our daughter Jesse, you have to understand this isn't just a piece of jewelry to me.
l know.
l mean, it's not just a piece of jewelry to me, either.
l've been thinking about this all evening.
You can't be Jewish and Catholic.
But Hannah is.
But what does that mean? Look l know we're not the first people to wonder about this, but we'll find out, won't we? The three of us.
Just maybe not tonight.
Well, when? You know, if we did find Martians, l don't think l could've shared you with them.
You know, l think that's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Really? Mm-mm.
Um Just so l can plan my night, do you have? Yeah, l've got about, uh from high school.
Well, that should get us through the night.
l mean, l'm glad we're here.
l didn't want our first time to be getting drunk at some frat party and then waking up together in the morning.
What? l don't know, l just thought l felt something.
That would be me.
And l think l deserve your undivided attention.
Dylan? Dylan? Come on, man.
Come on.
Dylan.
Hey.
Come on, wake up.
Wake up.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, come on.
Come on, let's walk around a little bit here, huh? l'm fine! What, you think l OD'd? l was asleep.
You must be a heavy sleeper-- lt took me two minutes to wake you up.
l was very tired.
Big day shooting up the house? What house? This isn't my house.
l don't got a house.
Where's my gun? Look, Dylan, l know Kevin and Suzanne ripped you off, man, but you got to get over it.
Yeah, l'll get over it first thing in the morning.
All right, fine, then, don't get over it, but do something besides just getting wasted every day.
l mean, what are you saying, man, that there was never anything more to you than money? Don't, don't come over here after two months and start analyzing me! What do you know? How do you get so wise to come over here, man? Y-You live at home.
You live the most coddled existence of anybody that l know of, and yet you'll come in here and tell me that you have some idea as to what l'm going through? Man, you have no idea! Don't turn this around, man-- this ain't about me.
No, it ain't never about you, is it, Brandon? Brenda's got guts, man.
She had the guts-- she moved away to another continent just to get away from you.
Dylan, at this point in time, l'm about the only friend you've got-- are you sure you want to do this? May the bridges l burn light the way.
Okay.
Don't take my gun.
lf you walk out of here with it, l'll call the cops myself.
Go ahead-- my license number's 3E5503.
You want me to write it down? Just get out.
Get out!