Full House s05e08 Episode Script

What are you doing? Waiting for Jeremy to call.
That's it.
I don't care how cute his dimples are or how bad I need a date for Friday.
I wait for no man.
For more than an hour and a half.
I'm pathetic.
[PHONE RINGING.]
Hello.
Hi, Jeremy.
You're late.
Is that Jeremy? Hey, Mr.
Dimples, D.
J.
waits for no man.
Michelle.
He sounded cute.
Next time, give the guy a break.
[HUMMING.]
Howdy ho, Jess.
Oh, howdy ho, Ranger Joe.
Hey, don't I get a "Howdy ho, Mr.
Woodchuck?" Oh, the joys of living with a kiddie-show host.
Have a good show today, Joe.
Say, something looks delicious.
I'm making beef stew.
I was talking about the spoon.
Is it made of wood? Get out of my face or it's gonna be woodchuck stew, okay? Well, aren't we Mr.
Grumpy-Rump? Back off, Bucky.
- Make me, mousse-hair.
- You wanna take this outside? I'm arguing with a puppet here.
And you're losing.
[LAUGHING.]
Okay, Dad, you thought it over.
Can I do it? Please, please, please? Guys, tell him to let me do it.
Come on, Danny, what's the big deal? Let her do it.
Do what? Steph's teacher thinks she might have a career as a professional dancer.
Only one thing's stopping me from being the happiest I've been in my whole life.
Of all people.
Steph, this is a big commitment you're talking about.
It means taking special classes before and after school and on weekends earlier bedtimes and less TV.
I don't care what it takes.
I'll do anything.
Come on, Danny, the kid's got a dream.
If I focused on my music in the '70s, who knows what would've happened.
Yeah, it might've been you singing "Macho Man" in that headdress.
I would not have been in the Village People.
If I were, I'd have been the construction guy.
You know, when I was Steph's age all I ever dreamed about was winning an Olympic gold medal in the high jump.
To this day I sometimes wonder, if I'd given it my all would I have made it? - No.
- No.
Do you want me to go through my whole life wondering if I would've made it? Whoa, good guilt.
Dad, I promise I won't let you down.
Please let me do it.
Please, please, please? Okay, if this is what you really want.
I won't be like my dad was when he refused to let me put a high-jump pit in the living room.
If this is your dream, sweetie, you go for it.
Thanks, Dad.
Thanks, guys.
You go out there and be the best darn high jumper you can be.
Dad, I'm a dancer.
That's even better.
Okay, Michelle, I'll stuff the envelope and you put the stamp on it.
Ew, gross.
Don't you have some chocolate stamps? Becky, there's no way you'll get Jesse to go to your baby shower.
You'd have to club him over the head, tie him in a sack and drag him there.
Joey, this is the '90s.
Men are much more open-minded about these things.
Now D.
J.
, don't you think your Uncle Jesse would like to go to his own baby shower? Sure, if you club him, sack him and drag him.
No, I can't club him.
But I can trick him.
That's what I'll do.
I'll make it a coed baby shower, and I'll invite all of his buddies.
But I'll tell him it's a regular party.
And then when he shows up, he'll just have to go along with the whole thing.
- We're all gonna keep this secret, right? - Right.
- Right.
- Right.
Oh, no.
She's never kept a secret in her life.
Uh-huh.
You don't know when I put on your makeup.
Oops.
Hey, what's going on? Nothing, Uncle Jesse.
Like I said, what's going on? We don't have a secret.
Right, Aunt Becky? Well, okay, sweetheart, you caught me.
I wanted to have a party.
You know, one big final monster blowout before we become parents.
Really? That's a good idea.
What can I do? Nothing.
Nothing at all.
I'll take care of everything and all you have to do is show up.
- How does that sound? - Sounds good to me.
What sounds good to you? Nothing.
I don't wanna miss this party.
Now, that's how you keep a secret.
Oh, yeah.
[LAUGHING.]
Oh, Michelle, my darling.
I have a surprise for you.
Whoa, baby.
Not so fast.
You little sugar freak.
All right, now, Michelle.
While I make this triple-dip double-fudge whipped-cream sundae with a cherry on top just out of curiosity, is there some kind of I don't know, secret about this party Becky's throwing? I can't tell you.
- You missed a spot.
- Thank you.
Well, Michelle, you know I sure would love to share this ice-cream sundae with you.
I'd sure love that too.
Mmm, well, then, let's talk about that secret, shall we? What do I do? What do I do? Well, you can start by holding this spoon while I put on these chocolate sprinkles.
- Chocolate sprinkles? - Uh-huh.
And your favorite and mine.
The cherry.
The party is a baby shower.
Now, drop that cherry.
Aha, a baby shower.
It's worse than I thought.
Thanks, Michelle.
You're welcome.
Is there anything else you wanna know? No, there's nothing else I wanna know.
I'd hate to spoil your dinner.
Let me have a bite.
Do you wanna help put up decorations for Aunt Becky's baby shower? I wish I could, but I've gotta get to my dress rehearsal.
You know, I have to give you credit.
Ever since you started taking these dance classes all I've seen you do is eat, sleep and dance.
If I had your discipline and dedication I'd have no life.
Comet, I have a life.
I have friends.
Who I never see anymore.
And I have my family.
Who I never see anymore.
But I have eight hours free every night.
Of course, that's when I'm sleeping.
Who am I kidding? I have no life.
You're right, Comet.
I'm gonna tell Dad I quit.
You guys are gonna love these shower games.
We have Guess the Number of Diaper Pins.
- Ooh.
- Ooh.
Name that Baby Food.
- Ah.
- Ah.
And the always popular Draw the Baby on a Paper Plate on Your Head.
I feel so much better about giving away those 49er tickets.
JESSE: Hey, Beck, where are you? - Um, I'm up here, sweetheart.
Oh, there you are.
Are you sure there's nothing I can do for this blowout party you're throwing? Nope.
Everything's taken care of.
Everything's taken-- Isn't she a jewel? The way she babies me and showers me with love? [JESSE AND BECKY CHUCKLING.]
Well, sweetheart, uh, why don't you go to the movies? And by the time you get back, we'll be ready to rock.
Here's 10 bucks.
And she even gives me the money.
Can you believe this? All right, I can't wait.
This is gonna be the biggest, baddest blowout this block has ever seen.
Shake, rattle and roll.
Well, he got the rattle part right.
Boy, Deej, I'm starting to feel a little guilty about this.
JESSE: Love you, sweetheart.
You should have just clubbed him.
Uh, Dad, can I talk to you about this whole dance thing? Yeah, I wanna talk to you too.
Wait until you see your costume for the recital.
It's right here.
Okay.
What do you think? It looks great.
Yeah, I stayed up all night sewing on the extra sequins.
I felt like Liberace's dad.
Steph, do you know your teacher thinks you're the most promising student in her class? I might not have made it as a high jumper, but you.
You could wind up as a star on Broadway.
[SINGING.]
She's dancing She's dancing She's dancing She's dancing Just looking at her You can tell she's a winner She's Stephanie Tanner She's one ball of glamour That's me! [MUSIC PLAYING.]
I'm your Broadway baby I'm the one I can dance any dance And make it second to none She taps and spins And does high kicks all over the place But through it all I still keep up The smile on my face Stephanie Tanner You're a dream come true I'm living out my childhood ambitions Through you [DRUMROLL.]
She's the best darn dancer On Broadway She's Stephanie Tanner That's me! Stephanie Tanner And she's here to stay [HUMMING.]
STEPH: Dad, Dad, Dad, snap out of it.
- Dad.
- Oh, right.
Sorry.
Oh, Steph, I am so glad you talked me into letting you do this dance program.
Honey, when you put your mind to something, you go all the way with it.
Now, what is it you wanted to tell me? Uh, just that I'm ready to go.
Great, let me get my car keys and we are out of here.
[SINGING.]
She's Stephanie Tanner And she's here, ho, to, hey, stay You guys are gonna love this baby shower.
Deej, tell them how to play our first game.
Well, Becky, whoever has the bunny stamp on their rattle wins this lovely set of blue potholders.
I won.
Those are gonna go great with my checkered dish towels.
As if I care.
JESSE: Beck, I'm back.
Oh, okay, everybody, get ready.
Surprise! What the heck? Boy, if I didn't know better, I'd say this was a baby shower.
It is a baby shower.
Isn't this a fun surprise? Oh, yeah, this is one of my new favorite fun surprises.
I wish I had known, because I invited some friends to what I innocently thought was, like, a big major blowout, though.
Well, that's okay.
The more, the merrier.
Oh, really? Oh, good.
Okay.
Guys, come on in.
Thank you, boys.
[GRUNTING.]
Hold it.
Tiny, Brain Dead, if you are gonna fight, please, no blood on the carpet.
- Oh, man.
JESSE: Well.
Oh, Jess, this is all my fault.
I deserve to have my baby shower ruined.
Beck, these guys are my friends.
I put them up to it.
I've known about your scam for a week now.
You have? I wonder who told you.
I have no idea.
Boy, am I getting sleepy.
Time for my nap.
Excuse me, boys.
Freeze, munchkin.
Did you tell Uncle Jesse our little secret? I'm sorry, but the man had ice cream.
You bribed her with ice cream? And chocolate fudge and whipped cream and a cherry.
Oh, that is low.
Oh, and not telling me about a baby shower, that's not low? If I'm not in trouble, may I go back to the party? Sure.
Go ahead.
Oh, yeah.
He had sprinkles too.
I'm sorry, Jess.
This is all my fault.
I should have never tried to trick you.
Well, I was a little sneaky with that ice-cream motif.
I got an idea.
Let's just always be honest with each other, huh? Okay.
- So be honest.
- Uh-huh.
If I would've just asked you to go to the baby shower you would have come, right? No.
It's a good thing you tricked me.
[BECKY CHUCKLING.]
Okay, everybody say, "Hi, family.
" ALL: Hi, family.
I'm going backstage before the big recital to meet the star herself.
And there she is.
Oh, look at that.
A dancer prepares.
Let's see if we can get a word with her.
Oh, Miss Tanner.
Dad, what are you doing back here? As focused as she is, she still knows I'm her father.
Steph, listen to me.
I got some great news.
I am sitting next to the director of the Bayview Dance Academy.
If he likes your performance tonight we can get you into their summer dance camp.
So I'd be dancing my whole summer vacation? - Every day? Nothing but dancing? - Yeah, isn't that wonderful? They're gonna start, don't be nervous.
Just break a leg and don't be nervous.
I'm nervous enough for the both of us.
Welcome to our recital.
I'd like to remind you that bright flashes and lights are distracting to our dancers.
Tanner, you're blinding me.
Thank you.
Our first performance is our advanced modern dance group doing some street dancing to "Motownphilly.
" That's my Stephanie in the middle.
She dances as well as that McHammer guy.
That's M.
C.
Hammer.
["MOTOWNPHILLY" PLAYING.]
[MUSIC STOPS.]
I'm sorry.
I'm really sorry.
Let's take a short intermission.
Stephanie? What happened? I got all messed up and I didn't know what to do so I started doing anything.
I guess I just don't have what it takes.
Honey, sit down.
Steph, you had that routine down cold.
I think you blew it on purpose.
Why would I do that? I was wondering the same thing.
Okay.
I blew it on purpose.
But I thought this was something you really wanted.
It was.
At first.
But then, I never got to see my friends I missed the baby shower and I never got to do anything fun.
I don't wanna go to dance camp all summer.
Steph, if you wanted to quit, why didn't you just tell me? How could I? I begged you to let me do this.
I didn't want to let you down.
I would have understood.
Dad, you had me starring on Broadway.
And you were doing high jumps in the chorus line.
Maybe I did get a little carried away, huh? So you're not disappointed in me? No.
It's great to have a dream, but it's okay to change your dream too.
You don't have to dance if you don't want to.
I still wanna dance, just not all the time.
Okay, why don't we go back to the way things were before when dancing was just part of your life, instead of your whole life.
[SIGHS.]
Thanks, Dad.
I love you.
Oh, I love you too.
- I'll be right back.
- Okay.
Guys, I'm really sorry I messed you up.
ALL: That's okay.
Uh, can we have another chance? GIRL: Yeah.
- Absolutely.
Are you ready? GIRLS: Yeah.
- Okay.
Let's go for it! Whoa.
Ladies and gentlemen, we'd like to try that number for you one more time.
["MOTOWNPHILLY" PLAYING.]
[MUSIC STOPS.]
[CROWD CHERING.]