The L Word s05e08 Episode Script
Lay Down the Law
Previously on The L Word Hey! Anyone got a 20 on Tina? I think Tina's got a thing going on.
- This is Sam Makarejev.
- I'm sorry, Molly Kroll.
Mother! Don't remind me of my mother's total degradation, please.
I'm bored.
But not bored enough to sleep with you.
Welcome to California, colonel Davis.
Who's Colonel Gillian Davis? He's prosecuting your case.
There's no way in hell I'm testifying in that hearing.
I'll turn you in to the US marshalls.
Everyone's at She-Bar, absolutely everyone, and we're stuck here.
A lot of movie-stars, they just refuse to work past 8:00 at night.
Niki's dissapeared from the set, we can't find her anywhere I think I know where se went.
"Lesbian Turkish Oil Wrestling?" You're gonna have to come in here and fight me.
Go in and get her.
- What? - Get her! Yeah, hey, Miki, it's Dawn Denbo.
Yeah, I got a hot tip for you.
Paparazzi? I am so screwed! Cut! Print.
Did you really think it would be that easy? Who sent you? I believe I asked you a question.
Love the reveal! I love the fucking reveal! You've go to stop dropping in on me like that, mrs.
Bryant.
I thought you'd be happy to see me Mr.
Bryant.
Did you miss me? Always.
Backlighting's great.
The backlighting works.
Absolutely Send a fucking clip to Ratner! - Tell him we've got the girl of his dreams.
- I believe so.
His wet dreams, and we want 8 mill for her.
It's going up to - Oh, my god, you guys - No joke.
True story.
This is unbelievable.
You guys are the best agents and managers ever.
I mean, this is unbelievable.
I have a call in to stuff, and I think we have the cover.
Ow! Oh, my god, look at that dog.
Whoo! Want to stop here? That was great.
Oh Shit.
You're good.
Like I was saying, I like her.
I do, I like her, but she's different.
- It's called heterosexuality.
- I know, I know, I know, I swear, I've been with tons of straight girls.
I know what they're like.
- Tons.
I'm telling you.
- Right, but maybe she's a spaghetti girl.
Hmm? Straight until wet.
That's horrible.
Do you think she's into you? I don't know.
I called her the other day, and we're talking, and her boyfriend is on the other Oh, straight girl is playing you.
I know, I know, but I like it.
That's the crazy, I like it.
Okay.
And I'm thinking I should take her somewhere.
I don't know, I was thinking I was thinking maybe I should take her to the theater.
Does she like the theater? I don't know.
I hate it.
Forget it, then.
It sounds horrible.
Forget it, forget it, forget it.
Hey how about if I have a dinner party? Really? At my house.
Yeah.
Yeah, so, um yeah But I need one more couple.
Okay, um I don't know who.
- Oh, Sam and Tina.
- Sam? Yeah, Sam's the DP on the movie.
Oh, okay.
Yeah? - Yeah.
- All right.
Okay - Huh? - Should we roll? No, wait.
It's just one time.
- Are you ready? - Yeah, almost.
Wait, is Bette pressuring you to do this Subaru pink ride? No, no, no, I want to ride.
- Yeah? - Yeah, my aunt is a breast cancer survivor.
- That's a good reason.
- Okay.
"Is Niki a Lez Girl?" Have you seen this? Oh, shit She has a $100-million career-making blockbuster premiering tomorrow night, and all anyone wants to talk about this morning is what she's doing in your little turd of a movie! Look, Kevin, it's not good for our movie either.
- I'm going to fucking pull her.
- No The last thing I need is the zit-faced teen boy demographic thinking that Niki Stevens doesn't like dick! - I mean, I never wanted her to do Lez Girls - Kevin, you can't pull her, okay? We're in the middle of production, all right? Just, please, you can't pull her from the movie.
Just wait, hear me out.
Look, I have an idea.
Do you represent any hot young actors? Yeah, I'm on the verge with Zac Efron.
Why? No, no, no.
We need her to be photographed at her premiere with someone hip, and hot, and hunky, and handsome.
You know, someone whose dick she might like.
Oh, Tina Oh, Tina, that's fucking brilliant.
Okay I got a call asking about her the other day from Stavros Niarchos.
No, no, no, no, we can do better than that.
He's cheesy.
I mean, there's no way that Niki Stevens dates Paris's sloppy seconds.
Niki's an actress.
She's not a fucking heiress.
Somebody who's really boyishly hip in that high school musical Jane Magazine sort of way.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- You know, like, uh yeah, you know, someone sensitive someone all the tweeny girls just go really nuts for.
Hey, boss, ready to take a look at my outfit for that scene? Oh, shit, sorry for busting in on you two.
Oh, no, no, no.
Greg, this is Kevin.
This is Niki's manager, and the jeans look great.
I'm sure Jenny will be happy with those.
It's going to work.
Good to meet you.
Right, I'll catch you later.
Okay, thanks, Greg.
I'd fuck him.
A dick that everybody likes.
Keep going, keep going.
You done with that? Yeah.
It's all yours.
- Who's that for, Jesse? - Mm-Hm.
Why is she wearing a Balenciaga? She couldn't afford that.
Because she saw Balenciaga in Karina's closet and went nuts.
Why does she always get the good clothes? Who? Wait, who said that, Jesse? Mm-hm.
Why can't I wear the fur skin Marc Jacobs boots? I want Balenciaga.
She totally lost it on me, stomping and screaming around - So then what did you say? - I got her one.
Oh all right, well, don't worry about it.
I think you did the right thing.
I'm going to talk to her, and she'll be fine.
Hey.
Here you are.
Look, Jenny, I need to talk to you.
I just need to finish my meeting, okay? Give me a second.
Can I see the Marni? There she is, hello! Oh, my goodness, I love it.
I love it, love it, love it.
- This is for Karina? - Yes.
I think that this purple isn't this purple fabulous? - It's amazing.
- It is.
You know what I think? I think that this should be Karina's color.
And I sort of, I see her with this gold choker that's sort of up the neck like that.
That, like it's, like, the snake is intertwined Now, Jenny.
I need to talk to you right now.
You have to hang on.
I'm not done with my meeting.
I also see her with a fresh gardenia in her hair.
So she just walks into the room, and she's just like wafting femininity.
I think that What? - This is important.
- Okay.
Mom's calling.
Listen, uh we have a bit of a situation with Niki's managers.
What's going on? It's about the She-Bar debacle last week.
There are photos all over the tabloids of her.
I know.
I saw it, and it's terrible.
No, it's fucking awful, and her management, they're beside themselves.
They're so angry.
They're going to pull her from our movie.
What? - Come on, they can't do that.
- Yes, they can.
Why? Because those photos were taken on our time clock, okay? And it was a total breach of her contract.
You know, luckily for us, I don't think that she would do that.
I think it would look bad for Niki.
But they're insisting insisting, that she take a date to the liquid heat premiere tomorrow night.
Oh, she is.
She's taking me.
Not unless you grow a penis.
- What? - A jock.
A standard, cute, girls-creaming-in-their-jeans American hunk.
No Actor boy.
- What? - Yeah, that's what they want.
No, you're kidding.
I don't believe you.
Hey what's going on? I just heard that you were taking some actor to the premiere tomorrow night instead of me? - Is that true? - I don't want to.
I don't want to at all, but they're making me.
They said if I if I went without some boy that everyone would say I was gay, and people wouldn't like me anymore, and that my career would be over! And so they're making me take fucking Greg! They're making me take cheese-ball Greg! The Greg who plays Tim in the fucking film? That midget? No! Whose fucking idea was this? Jenny, I don't want to! I want to go with you so bad! Well, I want to go with you! That's out of the question.
I don't want you within 10 miles of the Westwood Palace tomorrow night.
Well, you know what, Kevin? I don't really care what you and your fucking purple tie think of my whereabouts, okay? So, what the fuck do you think this is? Where you can give her a beard so you can pretend she's straight? You should be ashamed of yourself No, actually, you should be ashamed of yourself.
Oh, yeah? Why? I'm not even going to go into the questionable ethics of you screwing the underage star of your movie I love her, Kevin! I do! But if younso deeply care for Niki and your purported mission to make the first star-driven, studio movie about lesbians, you're going to destroy the career of the star on whom the movie's success hinges.
I will not continue this conversation until you remove the piece of snot that's dangling from your nose.
You're so quick.
No, I'm actually serious.
It's distracting with the seriousness of your argument, so take the tissue, and just wipe your nose.
Thanks.
Babe, you don't have to listen to a thing he says.
He's not even a human being.
He's an agent.
Cover that hickey.
Change your fucking tie.
Hi.
Hi, what are you still doing here? I thought you wrapped.
I want to get really drunk Okay.
And then I want you to have sex with me.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, Cammie.
Cammie, let's not forget you're not gay, You're just "gay for pay," right? I know that I suck in this part.
No, you don't No, I do.
I know I do.
Jenny hates me! - She wishes she never cast me.
- she's my friend.
She's never said that.
- But I'm a good actor.
It's not fair! - I know you are.
You're doing a wonderful Cammie What? This isn't professional.
You sleep with everyone.
Wait a second.
Who told you that? You It's me.
Am I that repulsive? No, you're beautiful.
Shane, I wanted to Hi.
That's a great color on you.
Could you give us a second? One moment.
Okay, I'm going to talk to her, - and this is not going to leave the three of us.
- Thank you.
All right? No, just get dressed and and go home.
Hi! Is this all for tomorrow night? Yeah, I see that.
And who's coming to this Moroccan feast? Amy and her new girlfriend, Melinda, Shane, and maybe Molly.
Shane and Molly? That is such a disaster.
Well she doesn't know if she can come.
she's a little flaky.
A little flaky, and little homophobic.
I mean, the things that she said about Phyllis.
Hey Shane may have set her sights on the one girl who won't do her.
I think that's why she's so crazy about her.
She loves a challenge.
It's not about that.
Yeah, so she says.
Anyway, oh, I invited Tina and Sam.
You what? Shane said they're together.
They're not together.
It doesn't matter.
It's not a couples dinner.
Anyway, Tina seemed happy to bring her.
Did it, um did it ever occur to you to maybe ask me first before you invited Tina? No.
What are you so upset about? I don't know, I mean, I just, I think it's, um just this whole ex-girlfriend becoming best friends thing.
I mean, it's you and your ex, and me and my ex.
It's really my idea of some kind of nightmare lesbian dinner party.
Then don't come.
But let me know.
Of course I'm coming.
Can I help you? You're very bad.
Hello, Alice.
Hi.
Thank you very much for joining us today.
The proceedings will begin shortly.
You can wait here until you're called to testify.
All we ask of you is that you answer any questions posed directly and truthfully.
I'll try not to take up too much of your time.
This board has been convened for the purpose of considering the pertinent facts relating to the case of captain Tasha Williams, who's being processed for administrative separation by reason of homosexual conduct under the provisions of AR 135-175, paragraph 2-12G.
This board will make a recommendation with respect to final action of retention, separation, or suspension.
This board is not bound by any formal rules of evidence, the board's decision will be based on the preponderance of evidence presented.
Captain Williams, do you have any questions regarding your rights or procedures before this board? No, sir.
Captain Tasha Williams is an exemplary soldier.
She served with distinction in Iraq.
She has the bronze star medal with v for valor, two army commendation medals, a joint services commendation medal.
There can be no debating captain Williams's courage and commitment to military service.
Thank you.
The military code of conduct is very clear.
Rules are in place to maintain good order and discipline.
Our job here is to enforce those rules.
It has been alleged that captain Williams has committed acts of homosexual conduct, and should the evidence presented to you here today support those findings, the government will recommend that captain Williams be separated from duty from the United States army national guard.
Thank you.
Oh, well, check out this shit.
Uh-huh yeah.
What the fuck am I going to do with these she-bitches? Oh, man You got them closed down.
What else do you want? Yeah, but they're going to open back up, and when they do, guess what? Everybody's going to go over there wanting to look at that Niki Stevens and her greasy ass.
So go pull a Tony Soprano and get 'em whacked.
Oh, shit.
Hmm Have you lost your mind? You can't take a hiatus from school.
You aced your LSAT's.
I'm just taking time off to figure out exactly what I want to do.
I mean, why does the world need more lawyers? Seriously, what's the point? It's so pedestrian.
You get a degree and then intern - For Ruth Bader Ginsburg! - Whoever! And then get married, pop out 2.
5 babies, summer on the cape - Yes.
- No! I don't want that life, it's not me! It is you, and it's always been you, and what about Richard? Richard loves you.
Richard was a bore.
That's why we broke up last week.
He worshipped the ground you walked on.
Which was boring! He's learning to golf, mom! Golf! And he's got medication for early-onset baldness! Don't you see how depressing that is? He's human.
You can't just throw away everything the two of you have built together.
You're one to talk.
What does your father say? That you owe him a lot of money, and you're ruining his life.
Do you know what happens to people without an education? You could end up like like her.
What's wrong with Shane? She's a hairdresser.
That's what happens to people who don't get an education.
They wind up in the service professions.
Did you just hear yourself say that? - You're so elitist.
- It's true.
I thought you were friends with Shane.
- Sure, to party with.
- To party with? Molly she is not a serious person.
What do you know about her? You don't know her at all.
I know plenty.
She's a lothario and a cad, and the kind of boy you fall in love with in high school before you know any better.
Thank god you're not a lesbian.
Where are you going? To go gay for Shane.
We're going to adopt chinese babies and live in a trailer park.
Don't you dare tell her anything I just said.
Hi.
My god, you're alive.
Hi.
I'm sorry I didn't call you back.
I called you? Listen, I might have called you, But it was a long time ago, so Alzheimer's kicked in at some point.
Am I seeing you tonight? Are you seeing me tonight you might see me, maybe.
Maybe? Maybe.
How about this, how about you call me in a little bit, and we'll talk about it.
- Okay, I will.
- Okay.
I won't hold my breath, but I look forward to hearing the phone ring.
Okay.
Bye.
Now, you testified that captain Williams was your commanding officer in Iraq.
Would you please characterize her as a commanding officer? She's a fair and honest leader.
She has the respect of her unit and always has a clear picture of where we're going.
We got into some pretty hairy situations out there, but we always felt safe with captain Williams, as safe as you can in that part of the world, sir.
Good.
Now, do you have any personal knowledge that supports the allegation that captain Williams is a homosexual? No, sir.
I see.
You also testified that you were reclassified MOS 42A and transferred to another division.
What was captain Williams' role in that? I asked captain Williams to recommend me for job reclassification because of personal circumstances having to do with my family, sir.
So she went to bat for you? Yes, sir.
I see, and you'd have no qualms about serving under her again, would you? I would serve under her anytime, sir.
Thank you.
You could have said no.
You didn't have to accept the invitation.
I thought it was coming from both of you.
Why would I invite you to bring some girl Who's after you to Jodi's dinner party? I don't know, I thought it was something that you wanted.
You know, you're the one that's with Jodi.
I'm with whoever the fuck I'm with.
- No one.
- And you and I just are we just have some kind of flameness? And you're okay with that? It's kind of a foregone conclusion, Don't you think? No.
No, it's not, not for me.
I don't want to break up you and Jodi.
That's not anything I want.
I don't want to be part of that.
What if I want to? Do you? Look, I really, I just I just don't really I really don't like who I am becoming right now, and and when I Think about Angie, it's just it-it's just not behavior that I want to model for our daughter.
What do you want to do? I think we should stop.
I You know, I I just think we should get some kind of clarity first.
I just It's a good idea.
Yeah.
Okay.
Thank you for your testimony here today, specialist Martinez.
I just have a few more questions for clarification.
This job reclassification request, you said it was something that captain Williams arranged for you? Yes, ma'am.
Well, that's very fortunate for you.
Not many reclassification requests are granted.
The military doesn't usually like to spend the time or money to retrain somebody for someone else's job when they're perfectly capable of doing the one to which they've already been assigned.
Captain Williams must have felt very strongly about you to have granted that request.
I don't know, ma'am.
Did you have a sexual relationship with captain Williams? No, ma'am.
What kind of relationship did you have? She was my commanding officer, ma'am.
Did she ever take you out to dinner? No, ma'am.
Put her arm around you? - Well, sure, but - Isn't it true that when she put her arm around you, you knew she was a lesbian? No, I mean I had heard rumors.
What kind of rumors? Some of the guys, they talk.
Well, it was generally believed in your unit that captain Williams was a lesbian.
Yes? Some of the guys, they Specialist Martinez, yes or no? Yes, ma'am.
In that case, you must have felt very uncomfortable receiving special treatment from captain Williams? I mean, if she was a lesbian, and you were receiving preferential treatment Objection! Characterization of preferential treatment is unsupported.
Objection overruled.
Witness may answer.
Did you feel uncomfortable receiving attention from captain Williams? I didn't want people to think that I was Yes.
I was uncomfortable.
Hi.
Hey.
How's it going? Martinez folded.
I'm sorry.
That's Do you know when they're going to call me? You're their witness.
I have no idea.
Tasha, I'm not on her side.
I don't even want to be here.
I know.
I'm just sorry that you got pulled into this.
It's okay.
You can talk to one another.
I was looking for you.
Well, you found me.
I came to tell you we're out of time.
You mean, I don't have to testify? Same time tomorrow.
Niki, you look beautiful! Give us a smile! Right here! Right here! Niki! Give us a smile! Adele, there she is.
Oh, my god, she looks so beautiful.
She looks amazing.
See that woman walking over there in the blue dress? She's banned.
Make sure she does not get into the theater.
Got it? Yeah, I'll take care of it.
Hi! Jodi, how are you? Sorry we're late.
We had a meeting, got held up.
Do you want something to drink? Uh, wine would be great.
Uh, no, thank you.
I don't drink when I'm shooting.
I think you would need a stiff drink after being mired in Jenny's masturbatory opus all day long.
Uh, this is Amy, and Melinda.
This is Tina and this is Sam.
This is Molly.
Hi.
Hi, what's up? Excuse me, miss.
There she is.
I'm going to have to ask you to leave the premises.
Oh, well, excuse me, mister, but I actually have a ticket.
Excuse me.
Um Just text her.
I don't like you.
It'll just take one second, okay? Okay.
She's not going to get that.
You've got to go in there and tell her we can't get in I'm going to go inside and i'm gonna tell her she's got to insist that they let you in.
- This is a huge dumb mistake, okay? - Yeah, yeah.
Yeah - Two seconds.
- I feel like an asshole, but Don't.
So you're the cameraman for Tina's movie? Oh, the director of photography, yeah.
That must be pretty unusual to have a woman doing the job.
Oh, yeah, there are about as many DP's in Hollywood as there are women in congress.
We were lucky to get Sam.
The thing with Richard is he's a really nice guy, and he loves me so much, but it's just not enough, and the problem is, I just who gives a shit how much he loves me? That we don't have that thing, you know, the zsuzz.
Right, no "zsuzz".
No spark, no thing.
Got it.
Do you want a cigarette? I'm trying to quit.
Yeah, me too.
But I could quit tomorrow.
- Me too.
- Okay.
You're not drinking that? This is delicious.
What it's called? Oh B-I-S-T-E-Y-A.
It's bisteya.
And you made it? It's amazing.
I'm sorry, we didn't mean to exclude you.
Yes, you did.
No, we didn't.
Yes, you did.
What did you say? Nothing.
Where's the bathroom? Has Jodi ever made you an Indian dinner? No.
It's too bad.
Well, it's just as well, because Bette hates Indian food.
Well, I didn't before, but we went to India, and I got really sick there.
Yeah, she lost 10 pounds.
She was so weak, I practically had to carry her through Jaipur.
I know your deal.
No, you don't.
I do.
You're thinking, here's this stupid little straight girl who doesn't know who she is or what she wants to do with her life, and you're just going to sit there and be charming until I sleep with you.
Oh! I think nothing of the sort.
Really? Really.
You don't want to sleep with me? - No.
- Why not? Jesus god um well, to be honest, I thought about it, but I came to the conclusion that if it was to happen, you would probably freak out afterwards and then you'd most likely go running back to your boyfriend in Vermont, and then I'd be stuck in the cold with nothing but the distant memory of mediocre sex, and I'd be out of cigarettes.
Here's you cigarette, and I am not mediocre in bed.
I didn't say anything.
I don't know.
Whatever this weird psychology is that you're using, that's not going to work either.
Listen, I'm not trying to do anything, I swear.
I just like talking to you.
I like you.
I have no tricks up my sleeve.
This is it is what it is.
Was that bad? Mm-hm, it was a bad idea.
Can you take me home, please? Okay.
I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have done that, and it was a bad idea, and I just, um I think that if you could just take me back to my mother's, that would I'm sorry, I told you.
Come on.
All right, people, it's about to start.
If you got your passes, let's go.
Nobody who shouldn't be on that set is going to get on that set, I promise you.
That's very good news.
Yeah.
Hang on one sec.
Excuse me.
Where did everybody go? Oh, um, Jodi took them up to the rooftop to see her new sculpture, and Molly went home with Shane.
Shane told me to say goodbye to you.
This is really one of the most excruciating things I've been through.
I think we should go see Dan.
Dan Foxworthy? I mean, he knows us better than anyone.
Maybe he can help us figure out what the hell we're doing.
That was incredible.
Thank you for showing us.
You guys should check out Jodi's sculpture up there.
It's amazing.
I know, it's beautiful.
Did you want to get going? - I should really - Oh, yeah.
I need to get up so early.
Yeah.
Thank you for dinner.
It was so nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you, too.
Hey, Niki you should kiss Greg.
They'll love it.
Hey there you are.
Did you see that? Niki just kissed Greg.
Jenny, don't, don't let that upset you, okay? Look, there are photographers everywhere.
- Yeah.
- They probably made her do that, okay? Please don't be upset.
Can we go home? Yeah, let's go.
Okay.
Major Dorough, could you please explain the significance of this website? It's owned by Alice Pieszecki, colonel.
She does a podcast on it talking about being a lesbian.
She interviews other lesbians about their sex lives and taltks about her own sex life.
So, Alice Pieszecki, the woman named in two of the complaints against captain Williams, is a self-professed lesbian? Yes, ma'am, that's correct.
And this chart? It's a chart of all the lesbians she knows who have had sex with one another.
Who have had sex with one another? Yes, ma'am.
It's not my chart, colonel, if you know what I mean.
Yes, thank you, major Dorough.
I think we all know what you mean.
Nothing further.
Your witness, captain Beech.
Major Dorough, does captain Williams's name appear anywhere on either the chart or the website? - No, but - Thank you, sir.
No further questions.
Do you solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you god? I do.
It's nice to see you again, miss Pieszecki.
I wish I could say the same.
I saw you on television the other day, on The Look.
It was fun, very entertaining.
I'd never seen it before.
So, you're a lesbian, Miss Pieszecki? Last time I checked.
How long have you known captain Williams? I don't know, maybe a year? I'm not sure.
How would you describe your relationship? We're friends, and that doesn't make Tasha a lesbian.
I didn't ask if captain Williams is a lesbian, Alice.
You might want to stick with the questions I ask.
Do you know many people in the military? No.
Well, I'm curious, then.
How is it someone like yourself can meet someone like captain Williams? We met through mutual friends, at a gathering.
A lesbian gathering? No.
Have you had sexual relations with captain Williams? You know what? This whole thing this whole thing is a crock.
It's a frickin' witch hunt.
I mean, you're trying to say Tasha's a lesbian because of her association with me, with lame trumped-up evidence.
I'm sorry, but I could just as easily say that I think you're a lesbian colonel Davis, with a propensity to engage in homosexual conduct, because of the way you looked at me in the hallway yesterday.
That is enough, miss Pieszecki.
If all I have to do is establish that you know a lesbian, and one lesbian, and maybe you had lunch with her once? I bet there aren't a lot of women who wear that uniform who haven't eaten out with a lesbian in their time.
I would like to request a recess at this time to allow miss Pieszecki to collect herself.
Yes, we'll take a 15-minute recess.
I'm okay.
I mean, if you, uh, you want to keep Did I say something? What were you trying to pull in there? I wasn't trying to pull anything.
Do not play games with me, Alice.
I'm not.
Okay, here's the deal.
I'm going to need something from you, some kind of assurance that I don't have to watch my back.
Okay, I'm listening.
What? Tell your friend captain Williams to play by the rules when she gets on the stand.
I'm going to ask her about private Brown.
She just has to tell the story, matter-of-fact.
The one about Brown seeing us at the race track? And twisted an innocent day out with friends into a sordid escapade so he could make his trumped-up charges.
And I'll never have to see you again? No, you will never hear from me again.
I won't be calling you back on the stand, and I won't be discussing this with captain Beech, so you have about five minutes to do what you need to do before we resume.
Oh, my god.
Tasha - Tasha.
- What? God, you have to listen.
Come here.
What? What are you doing? I think you might walk out of this.
What? Yeah, okay, Davis is terrified I'm going to out her.
She says she doesn't want to have to watch her back, so she just made a deal with me.
She said all you have to do is tell the Brown story, say you believe in their bullshit code of honor, or whatever, and she's going to recommend you for retention.
- She's going to let me off? - I don't know.
Captain Williams! The hearing will resume in five minutes.
I got to go.
Okay, good luck.
One final question, captain Williams.
Why did you join the military? I come from a military family.
My father served, and his father before him.
I feel a strong sense of duty to serve my country.
It's what I've always wanted to do, sir.
Thank you.
No further questions.
Recorder, your witness.
Captain Williams, What is your relationship to private Jack Brown? Private Brown was a soldier serving under my command.
Does he hold a grudge against you for any reason? He was upset with me when I recommended specialist Martinez for the human resources job instead of him.
It's been alleged that you gave preferential treatment to Martinez because you were hopeful of a more intimate relationship.
That's not true.
I recommended specialist Martinez for reclassification because she has a superior service record.
She has two commendations, and she's disciplined and hard-working.
Brown was not qualified, ma'am.
Do you believe Brown brought these charges against you in retaliation? Yes, I do believe that, ma'am.
Does the military represent the ideals and morals by which you live your life? Yes, absolutely, ma'am.
You are aware, captain, that our armed services are strained for qualified, dedicated officers, especially on the front lines? I'm aware of that, ma'am.
Do you agree that the military codes of conduct be strictly adhered to, at all times? I always have.
Until now.
I'm sorry? One of the things that is asked of us when we go to the front lines is that we be prepared to be separated from the people that we love, and we ask it of them, too.
We ask them to go and let us fight for their freedom, maybe to never come home, and when we do come home, we feel blessed.
It seems so wrong now to have my personal freedom denied to me within my own country.
It seems wrong to watch the person that I love be interrogated like a criminal when she did nothing wrong.
The person you love? To whom are you referring, captain Williams? Alice Pieszecki, colonel.
Alice! Wait! What happened? Did you win? You look happy.
I did, I won.
I'm really glad for you.
Really.
So what happened in there? I told them I love you.
Hey there.
Williams, you're going to be missed around here.
Goodbye.
It's a shame, captain Williams.
Personal freedom is an enviable thing, but personal sacrifice to ensure that many more Americans can enjoy their freedom, that's the nobler cause.
Good luck to you.
- This is Sam Makarejev.
- I'm sorry, Molly Kroll.
Mother! Don't remind me of my mother's total degradation, please.
I'm bored.
But not bored enough to sleep with you.
Welcome to California, colonel Davis.
Who's Colonel Gillian Davis? He's prosecuting your case.
There's no way in hell I'm testifying in that hearing.
I'll turn you in to the US marshalls.
Everyone's at She-Bar, absolutely everyone, and we're stuck here.
A lot of movie-stars, they just refuse to work past 8:00 at night.
Niki's dissapeared from the set, we can't find her anywhere I think I know where se went.
"Lesbian Turkish Oil Wrestling?" You're gonna have to come in here and fight me.
Go in and get her.
- What? - Get her! Yeah, hey, Miki, it's Dawn Denbo.
Yeah, I got a hot tip for you.
Paparazzi? I am so screwed! Cut! Print.
Did you really think it would be that easy? Who sent you? I believe I asked you a question.
Love the reveal! I love the fucking reveal! You've go to stop dropping in on me like that, mrs.
Bryant.
I thought you'd be happy to see me Mr.
Bryant.
Did you miss me? Always.
Backlighting's great.
The backlighting works.
Absolutely Send a fucking clip to Ratner! - Tell him we've got the girl of his dreams.
- I believe so.
His wet dreams, and we want 8 mill for her.
It's going up to - Oh, my god, you guys - No joke.
True story.
This is unbelievable.
You guys are the best agents and managers ever.
I mean, this is unbelievable.
I have a call in to stuff, and I think we have the cover.
Ow! Oh, my god, look at that dog.
Whoo! Want to stop here? That was great.
Oh Shit.
You're good.
Like I was saying, I like her.
I do, I like her, but she's different.
- It's called heterosexuality.
- I know, I know, I know, I swear, I've been with tons of straight girls.
I know what they're like.
- Tons.
I'm telling you.
- Right, but maybe she's a spaghetti girl.
Hmm? Straight until wet.
That's horrible.
Do you think she's into you? I don't know.
I called her the other day, and we're talking, and her boyfriend is on the other Oh, straight girl is playing you.
I know, I know, but I like it.
That's the crazy, I like it.
Okay.
And I'm thinking I should take her somewhere.
I don't know, I was thinking I was thinking maybe I should take her to the theater.
Does she like the theater? I don't know.
I hate it.
Forget it, then.
It sounds horrible.
Forget it, forget it, forget it.
Hey how about if I have a dinner party? Really? At my house.
Yeah.
Yeah, so, um yeah But I need one more couple.
Okay, um I don't know who.
- Oh, Sam and Tina.
- Sam? Yeah, Sam's the DP on the movie.
Oh, okay.
Yeah? - Yeah.
- All right.
Okay - Huh? - Should we roll? No, wait.
It's just one time.
- Are you ready? - Yeah, almost.
Wait, is Bette pressuring you to do this Subaru pink ride? No, no, no, I want to ride.
- Yeah? - Yeah, my aunt is a breast cancer survivor.
- That's a good reason.
- Okay.
"Is Niki a Lez Girl?" Have you seen this? Oh, shit She has a $100-million career-making blockbuster premiering tomorrow night, and all anyone wants to talk about this morning is what she's doing in your little turd of a movie! Look, Kevin, it's not good for our movie either.
- I'm going to fucking pull her.
- No The last thing I need is the zit-faced teen boy demographic thinking that Niki Stevens doesn't like dick! - I mean, I never wanted her to do Lez Girls - Kevin, you can't pull her, okay? We're in the middle of production, all right? Just, please, you can't pull her from the movie.
Just wait, hear me out.
Look, I have an idea.
Do you represent any hot young actors? Yeah, I'm on the verge with Zac Efron.
Why? No, no, no.
We need her to be photographed at her premiere with someone hip, and hot, and hunky, and handsome.
You know, someone whose dick she might like.
Oh, Tina Oh, Tina, that's fucking brilliant.
Okay I got a call asking about her the other day from Stavros Niarchos.
No, no, no, no, we can do better than that.
He's cheesy.
I mean, there's no way that Niki Stevens dates Paris's sloppy seconds.
Niki's an actress.
She's not a fucking heiress.
Somebody who's really boyishly hip in that high school musical Jane Magazine sort of way.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- You know, like, uh yeah, you know, someone sensitive someone all the tweeny girls just go really nuts for.
Hey, boss, ready to take a look at my outfit for that scene? Oh, shit, sorry for busting in on you two.
Oh, no, no, no.
Greg, this is Kevin.
This is Niki's manager, and the jeans look great.
I'm sure Jenny will be happy with those.
It's going to work.
Good to meet you.
Right, I'll catch you later.
Okay, thanks, Greg.
I'd fuck him.
A dick that everybody likes.
Keep going, keep going.
You done with that? Yeah.
It's all yours.
- Who's that for, Jesse? - Mm-Hm.
Why is she wearing a Balenciaga? She couldn't afford that.
Because she saw Balenciaga in Karina's closet and went nuts.
Why does she always get the good clothes? Who? Wait, who said that, Jesse? Mm-hm.
Why can't I wear the fur skin Marc Jacobs boots? I want Balenciaga.
She totally lost it on me, stomping and screaming around - So then what did you say? - I got her one.
Oh all right, well, don't worry about it.
I think you did the right thing.
I'm going to talk to her, and she'll be fine.
Hey.
Here you are.
Look, Jenny, I need to talk to you.
I just need to finish my meeting, okay? Give me a second.
Can I see the Marni? There she is, hello! Oh, my goodness, I love it.
I love it, love it, love it.
- This is for Karina? - Yes.
I think that this purple isn't this purple fabulous? - It's amazing.
- It is.
You know what I think? I think that this should be Karina's color.
And I sort of, I see her with this gold choker that's sort of up the neck like that.
That, like it's, like, the snake is intertwined Now, Jenny.
I need to talk to you right now.
You have to hang on.
I'm not done with my meeting.
I also see her with a fresh gardenia in her hair.
So she just walks into the room, and she's just like wafting femininity.
I think that What? - This is important.
- Okay.
Mom's calling.
Listen, uh we have a bit of a situation with Niki's managers.
What's going on? It's about the She-Bar debacle last week.
There are photos all over the tabloids of her.
I know.
I saw it, and it's terrible.
No, it's fucking awful, and her management, they're beside themselves.
They're so angry.
They're going to pull her from our movie.
What? - Come on, they can't do that.
- Yes, they can.
Why? Because those photos were taken on our time clock, okay? And it was a total breach of her contract.
You know, luckily for us, I don't think that she would do that.
I think it would look bad for Niki.
But they're insisting insisting, that she take a date to the liquid heat premiere tomorrow night.
Oh, she is.
She's taking me.
Not unless you grow a penis.
- What? - A jock.
A standard, cute, girls-creaming-in-their-jeans American hunk.
No Actor boy.
- What? - Yeah, that's what they want.
No, you're kidding.
I don't believe you.
Hey what's going on? I just heard that you were taking some actor to the premiere tomorrow night instead of me? - Is that true? - I don't want to.
I don't want to at all, but they're making me.
They said if I if I went without some boy that everyone would say I was gay, and people wouldn't like me anymore, and that my career would be over! And so they're making me take fucking Greg! They're making me take cheese-ball Greg! The Greg who plays Tim in the fucking film? That midget? No! Whose fucking idea was this? Jenny, I don't want to! I want to go with you so bad! Well, I want to go with you! That's out of the question.
I don't want you within 10 miles of the Westwood Palace tomorrow night.
Well, you know what, Kevin? I don't really care what you and your fucking purple tie think of my whereabouts, okay? So, what the fuck do you think this is? Where you can give her a beard so you can pretend she's straight? You should be ashamed of yourself No, actually, you should be ashamed of yourself.
Oh, yeah? Why? I'm not even going to go into the questionable ethics of you screwing the underage star of your movie I love her, Kevin! I do! But if younso deeply care for Niki and your purported mission to make the first star-driven, studio movie about lesbians, you're going to destroy the career of the star on whom the movie's success hinges.
I will not continue this conversation until you remove the piece of snot that's dangling from your nose.
You're so quick.
No, I'm actually serious.
It's distracting with the seriousness of your argument, so take the tissue, and just wipe your nose.
Thanks.
Babe, you don't have to listen to a thing he says.
He's not even a human being.
He's an agent.
Cover that hickey.
Change your fucking tie.
Hi.
Hi, what are you still doing here? I thought you wrapped.
I want to get really drunk Okay.
And then I want you to have sex with me.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, Cammie.
Cammie, let's not forget you're not gay, You're just "gay for pay," right? I know that I suck in this part.
No, you don't No, I do.
I know I do.
Jenny hates me! - She wishes she never cast me.
- she's my friend.
She's never said that.
- But I'm a good actor.
It's not fair! - I know you are.
You're doing a wonderful Cammie What? This isn't professional.
You sleep with everyone.
Wait a second.
Who told you that? You It's me.
Am I that repulsive? No, you're beautiful.
Shane, I wanted to Hi.
That's a great color on you.
Could you give us a second? One moment.
Okay, I'm going to talk to her, - and this is not going to leave the three of us.
- Thank you.
All right? No, just get dressed and and go home.
Hi! Is this all for tomorrow night? Yeah, I see that.
And who's coming to this Moroccan feast? Amy and her new girlfriend, Melinda, Shane, and maybe Molly.
Shane and Molly? That is such a disaster.
Well she doesn't know if she can come.
she's a little flaky.
A little flaky, and little homophobic.
I mean, the things that she said about Phyllis.
Hey Shane may have set her sights on the one girl who won't do her.
I think that's why she's so crazy about her.
She loves a challenge.
It's not about that.
Yeah, so she says.
Anyway, oh, I invited Tina and Sam.
You what? Shane said they're together.
They're not together.
It doesn't matter.
It's not a couples dinner.
Anyway, Tina seemed happy to bring her.
Did it, um did it ever occur to you to maybe ask me first before you invited Tina? No.
What are you so upset about? I don't know, I mean, I just, I think it's, um just this whole ex-girlfriend becoming best friends thing.
I mean, it's you and your ex, and me and my ex.
It's really my idea of some kind of nightmare lesbian dinner party.
Then don't come.
But let me know.
Of course I'm coming.
Can I help you? You're very bad.
Hello, Alice.
Hi.
Thank you very much for joining us today.
The proceedings will begin shortly.
You can wait here until you're called to testify.
All we ask of you is that you answer any questions posed directly and truthfully.
I'll try not to take up too much of your time.
This board has been convened for the purpose of considering the pertinent facts relating to the case of captain Tasha Williams, who's being processed for administrative separation by reason of homosexual conduct under the provisions of AR 135-175, paragraph 2-12G.
This board will make a recommendation with respect to final action of retention, separation, or suspension.
This board is not bound by any formal rules of evidence, the board's decision will be based on the preponderance of evidence presented.
Captain Williams, do you have any questions regarding your rights or procedures before this board? No, sir.
Captain Tasha Williams is an exemplary soldier.
She served with distinction in Iraq.
She has the bronze star medal with v for valor, two army commendation medals, a joint services commendation medal.
There can be no debating captain Williams's courage and commitment to military service.
Thank you.
The military code of conduct is very clear.
Rules are in place to maintain good order and discipline.
Our job here is to enforce those rules.
It has been alleged that captain Williams has committed acts of homosexual conduct, and should the evidence presented to you here today support those findings, the government will recommend that captain Williams be separated from duty from the United States army national guard.
Thank you.
Oh, well, check out this shit.
Uh-huh yeah.
What the fuck am I going to do with these she-bitches? Oh, man You got them closed down.
What else do you want? Yeah, but they're going to open back up, and when they do, guess what? Everybody's going to go over there wanting to look at that Niki Stevens and her greasy ass.
So go pull a Tony Soprano and get 'em whacked.
Oh, shit.
Hmm Have you lost your mind? You can't take a hiatus from school.
You aced your LSAT's.
I'm just taking time off to figure out exactly what I want to do.
I mean, why does the world need more lawyers? Seriously, what's the point? It's so pedestrian.
You get a degree and then intern - For Ruth Bader Ginsburg! - Whoever! And then get married, pop out 2.
5 babies, summer on the cape - Yes.
- No! I don't want that life, it's not me! It is you, and it's always been you, and what about Richard? Richard loves you.
Richard was a bore.
That's why we broke up last week.
He worshipped the ground you walked on.
Which was boring! He's learning to golf, mom! Golf! And he's got medication for early-onset baldness! Don't you see how depressing that is? He's human.
You can't just throw away everything the two of you have built together.
You're one to talk.
What does your father say? That you owe him a lot of money, and you're ruining his life.
Do you know what happens to people without an education? You could end up like like her.
What's wrong with Shane? She's a hairdresser.
That's what happens to people who don't get an education.
They wind up in the service professions.
Did you just hear yourself say that? - You're so elitist.
- It's true.
I thought you were friends with Shane.
- Sure, to party with.
- To party with? Molly she is not a serious person.
What do you know about her? You don't know her at all.
I know plenty.
She's a lothario and a cad, and the kind of boy you fall in love with in high school before you know any better.
Thank god you're not a lesbian.
Where are you going? To go gay for Shane.
We're going to adopt chinese babies and live in a trailer park.
Don't you dare tell her anything I just said.
Hi.
My god, you're alive.
Hi.
I'm sorry I didn't call you back.
I called you? Listen, I might have called you, But it was a long time ago, so Alzheimer's kicked in at some point.
Am I seeing you tonight? Are you seeing me tonight you might see me, maybe.
Maybe? Maybe.
How about this, how about you call me in a little bit, and we'll talk about it.
- Okay, I will.
- Okay.
I won't hold my breath, but I look forward to hearing the phone ring.
Okay.
Bye.
Now, you testified that captain Williams was your commanding officer in Iraq.
Would you please characterize her as a commanding officer? She's a fair and honest leader.
She has the respect of her unit and always has a clear picture of where we're going.
We got into some pretty hairy situations out there, but we always felt safe with captain Williams, as safe as you can in that part of the world, sir.
Good.
Now, do you have any personal knowledge that supports the allegation that captain Williams is a homosexual? No, sir.
I see.
You also testified that you were reclassified MOS 42A and transferred to another division.
What was captain Williams' role in that? I asked captain Williams to recommend me for job reclassification because of personal circumstances having to do with my family, sir.
So she went to bat for you? Yes, sir.
I see, and you'd have no qualms about serving under her again, would you? I would serve under her anytime, sir.
Thank you.
You could have said no.
You didn't have to accept the invitation.
I thought it was coming from both of you.
Why would I invite you to bring some girl Who's after you to Jodi's dinner party? I don't know, I thought it was something that you wanted.
You know, you're the one that's with Jodi.
I'm with whoever the fuck I'm with.
- No one.
- And you and I just are we just have some kind of flameness? And you're okay with that? It's kind of a foregone conclusion, Don't you think? No.
No, it's not, not for me.
I don't want to break up you and Jodi.
That's not anything I want.
I don't want to be part of that.
What if I want to? Do you? Look, I really, I just I just don't really I really don't like who I am becoming right now, and and when I Think about Angie, it's just it-it's just not behavior that I want to model for our daughter.
What do you want to do? I think we should stop.
I You know, I I just think we should get some kind of clarity first.
I just It's a good idea.
Yeah.
Okay.
Thank you for your testimony here today, specialist Martinez.
I just have a few more questions for clarification.
This job reclassification request, you said it was something that captain Williams arranged for you? Yes, ma'am.
Well, that's very fortunate for you.
Not many reclassification requests are granted.
The military doesn't usually like to spend the time or money to retrain somebody for someone else's job when they're perfectly capable of doing the one to which they've already been assigned.
Captain Williams must have felt very strongly about you to have granted that request.
I don't know, ma'am.
Did you have a sexual relationship with captain Williams? No, ma'am.
What kind of relationship did you have? She was my commanding officer, ma'am.
Did she ever take you out to dinner? No, ma'am.
Put her arm around you? - Well, sure, but - Isn't it true that when she put her arm around you, you knew she was a lesbian? No, I mean I had heard rumors.
What kind of rumors? Some of the guys, they talk.
Well, it was generally believed in your unit that captain Williams was a lesbian.
Yes? Some of the guys, they Specialist Martinez, yes or no? Yes, ma'am.
In that case, you must have felt very uncomfortable receiving special treatment from captain Williams? I mean, if she was a lesbian, and you were receiving preferential treatment Objection! Characterization of preferential treatment is unsupported.
Objection overruled.
Witness may answer.
Did you feel uncomfortable receiving attention from captain Williams? I didn't want people to think that I was Yes.
I was uncomfortable.
Hi.
Hey.
How's it going? Martinez folded.
I'm sorry.
That's Do you know when they're going to call me? You're their witness.
I have no idea.
Tasha, I'm not on her side.
I don't even want to be here.
I know.
I'm just sorry that you got pulled into this.
It's okay.
You can talk to one another.
I was looking for you.
Well, you found me.
I came to tell you we're out of time.
You mean, I don't have to testify? Same time tomorrow.
Niki, you look beautiful! Give us a smile! Right here! Right here! Niki! Give us a smile! Adele, there she is.
Oh, my god, she looks so beautiful.
She looks amazing.
See that woman walking over there in the blue dress? She's banned.
Make sure she does not get into the theater.
Got it? Yeah, I'll take care of it.
Hi! Jodi, how are you? Sorry we're late.
We had a meeting, got held up.
Do you want something to drink? Uh, wine would be great.
Uh, no, thank you.
I don't drink when I'm shooting.
I think you would need a stiff drink after being mired in Jenny's masturbatory opus all day long.
Uh, this is Amy, and Melinda.
This is Tina and this is Sam.
This is Molly.
Hi.
Hi, what's up? Excuse me, miss.
There she is.
I'm going to have to ask you to leave the premises.
Oh, well, excuse me, mister, but I actually have a ticket.
Excuse me.
Um Just text her.
I don't like you.
It'll just take one second, okay? Okay.
She's not going to get that.
You've got to go in there and tell her we can't get in I'm going to go inside and i'm gonna tell her she's got to insist that they let you in.
- This is a huge dumb mistake, okay? - Yeah, yeah.
Yeah - Two seconds.
- I feel like an asshole, but Don't.
So you're the cameraman for Tina's movie? Oh, the director of photography, yeah.
That must be pretty unusual to have a woman doing the job.
Oh, yeah, there are about as many DP's in Hollywood as there are women in congress.
We were lucky to get Sam.
The thing with Richard is he's a really nice guy, and he loves me so much, but it's just not enough, and the problem is, I just who gives a shit how much he loves me? That we don't have that thing, you know, the zsuzz.
Right, no "zsuzz".
No spark, no thing.
Got it.
Do you want a cigarette? I'm trying to quit.
Yeah, me too.
But I could quit tomorrow.
- Me too.
- Okay.
You're not drinking that? This is delicious.
What it's called? Oh B-I-S-T-E-Y-A.
It's bisteya.
And you made it? It's amazing.
I'm sorry, we didn't mean to exclude you.
Yes, you did.
No, we didn't.
Yes, you did.
What did you say? Nothing.
Where's the bathroom? Has Jodi ever made you an Indian dinner? No.
It's too bad.
Well, it's just as well, because Bette hates Indian food.
Well, I didn't before, but we went to India, and I got really sick there.
Yeah, she lost 10 pounds.
She was so weak, I practically had to carry her through Jaipur.
I know your deal.
No, you don't.
I do.
You're thinking, here's this stupid little straight girl who doesn't know who she is or what she wants to do with her life, and you're just going to sit there and be charming until I sleep with you.
Oh! I think nothing of the sort.
Really? Really.
You don't want to sleep with me? - No.
- Why not? Jesus god um well, to be honest, I thought about it, but I came to the conclusion that if it was to happen, you would probably freak out afterwards and then you'd most likely go running back to your boyfriend in Vermont, and then I'd be stuck in the cold with nothing but the distant memory of mediocre sex, and I'd be out of cigarettes.
Here's you cigarette, and I am not mediocre in bed.
I didn't say anything.
I don't know.
Whatever this weird psychology is that you're using, that's not going to work either.
Listen, I'm not trying to do anything, I swear.
I just like talking to you.
I like you.
I have no tricks up my sleeve.
This is it is what it is.
Was that bad? Mm-hm, it was a bad idea.
Can you take me home, please? Okay.
I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have done that, and it was a bad idea, and I just, um I think that if you could just take me back to my mother's, that would I'm sorry, I told you.
Come on.
All right, people, it's about to start.
If you got your passes, let's go.
Nobody who shouldn't be on that set is going to get on that set, I promise you.
That's very good news.
Yeah.
Hang on one sec.
Excuse me.
Where did everybody go? Oh, um, Jodi took them up to the rooftop to see her new sculpture, and Molly went home with Shane.
Shane told me to say goodbye to you.
This is really one of the most excruciating things I've been through.
I think we should go see Dan.
Dan Foxworthy? I mean, he knows us better than anyone.
Maybe he can help us figure out what the hell we're doing.
That was incredible.
Thank you for showing us.
You guys should check out Jodi's sculpture up there.
It's amazing.
I know, it's beautiful.
Did you want to get going? - I should really - Oh, yeah.
I need to get up so early.
Yeah.
Thank you for dinner.
It was so nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you, too.
Hey, Niki you should kiss Greg.
They'll love it.
Hey there you are.
Did you see that? Niki just kissed Greg.
Jenny, don't, don't let that upset you, okay? Look, there are photographers everywhere.
- Yeah.
- They probably made her do that, okay? Please don't be upset.
Can we go home? Yeah, let's go.
Okay.
Major Dorough, could you please explain the significance of this website? It's owned by Alice Pieszecki, colonel.
She does a podcast on it talking about being a lesbian.
She interviews other lesbians about their sex lives and taltks about her own sex life.
So, Alice Pieszecki, the woman named in two of the complaints against captain Williams, is a self-professed lesbian? Yes, ma'am, that's correct.
And this chart? It's a chart of all the lesbians she knows who have had sex with one another.
Who have had sex with one another? Yes, ma'am.
It's not my chart, colonel, if you know what I mean.
Yes, thank you, major Dorough.
I think we all know what you mean.
Nothing further.
Your witness, captain Beech.
Major Dorough, does captain Williams's name appear anywhere on either the chart or the website? - No, but - Thank you, sir.
No further questions.
Do you solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you god? I do.
It's nice to see you again, miss Pieszecki.
I wish I could say the same.
I saw you on television the other day, on The Look.
It was fun, very entertaining.
I'd never seen it before.
So, you're a lesbian, Miss Pieszecki? Last time I checked.
How long have you known captain Williams? I don't know, maybe a year? I'm not sure.
How would you describe your relationship? We're friends, and that doesn't make Tasha a lesbian.
I didn't ask if captain Williams is a lesbian, Alice.
You might want to stick with the questions I ask.
Do you know many people in the military? No.
Well, I'm curious, then.
How is it someone like yourself can meet someone like captain Williams? We met through mutual friends, at a gathering.
A lesbian gathering? No.
Have you had sexual relations with captain Williams? You know what? This whole thing this whole thing is a crock.
It's a frickin' witch hunt.
I mean, you're trying to say Tasha's a lesbian because of her association with me, with lame trumped-up evidence.
I'm sorry, but I could just as easily say that I think you're a lesbian colonel Davis, with a propensity to engage in homosexual conduct, because of the way you looked at me in the hallway yesterday.
That is enough, miss Pieszecki.
If all I have to do is establish that you know a lesbian, and one lesbian, and maybe you had lunch with her once? I bet there aren't a lot of women who wear that uniform who haven't eaten out with a lesbian in their time.
I would like to request a recess at this time to allow miss Pieszecki to collect herself.
Yes, we'll take a 15-minute recess.
I'm okay.
I mean, if you, uh, you want to keep Did I say something? What were you trying to pull in there? I wasn't trying to pull anything.
Do not play games with me, Alice.
I'm not.
Okay, here's the deal.
I'm going to need something from you, some kind of assurance that I don't have to watch my back.
Okay, I'm listening.
What? Tell your friend captain Williams to play by the rules when she gets on the stand.
I'm going to ask her about private Brown.
She just has to tell the story, matter-of-fact.
The one about Brown seeing us at the race track? And twisted an innocent day out with friends into a sordid escapade so he could make his trumped-up charges.
And I'll never have to see you again? No, you will never hear from me again.
I won't be calling you back on the stand, and I won't be discussing this with captain Beech, so you have about five minutes to do what you need to do before we resume.
Oh, my god.
Tasha - Tasha.
- What? God, you have to listen.
Come here.
What? What are you doing? I think you might walk out of this.
What? Yeah, okay, Davis is terrified I'm going to out her.
She says she doesn't want to have to watch her back, so she just made a deal with me.
She said all you have to do is tell the Brown story, say you believe in their bullshit code of honor, or whatever, and she's going to recommend you for retention.
- She's going to let me off? - I don't know.
Captain Williams! The hearing will resume in five minutes.
I got to go.
Okay, good luck.
One final question, captain Williams.
Why did you join the military? I come from a military family.
My father served, and his father before him.
I feel a strong sense of duty to serve my country.
It's what I've always wanted to do, sir.
Thank you.
No further questions.
Recorder, your witness.
Captain Williams, What is your relationship to private Jack Brown? Private Brown was a soldier serving under my command.
Does he hold a grudge against you for any reason? He was upset with me when I recommended specialist Martinez for the human resources job instead of him.
It's been alleged that you gave preferential treatment to Martinez because you were hopeful of a more intimate relationship.
That's not true.
I recommended specialist Martinez for reclassification because she has a superior service record.
She has two commendations, and she's disciplined and hard-working.
Brown was not qualified, ma'am.
Do you believe Brown brought these charges against you in retaliation? Yes, I do believe that, ma'am.
Does the military represent the ideals and morals by which you live your life? Yes, absolutely, ma'am.
You are aware, captain, that our armed services are strained for qualified, dedicated officers, especially on the front lines? I'm aware of that, ma'am.
Do you agree that the military codes of conduct be strictly adhered to, at all times? I always have.
Until now.
I'm sorry? One of the things that is asked of us when we go to the front lines is that we be prepared to be separated from the people that we love, and we ask it of them, too.
We ask them to go and let us fight for their freedom, maybe to never come home, and when we do come home, we feel blessed.
It seems so wrong now to have my personal freedom denied to me within my own country.
It seems wrong to watch the person that I love be interrogated like a criminal when she did nothing wrong.
The person you love? To whom are you referring, captain Williams? Alice Pieszecki, colonel.
Alice! Wait! What happened? Did you win? You look happy.
I did, I won.
I'm really glad for you.
Really.
So what happened in there? I told them I love you.
Hey there.
Williams, you're going to be missed around here.
Goodbye.
It's a shame, captain Williams.
Personal freedom is an enviable thing, but personal sacrifice to ensure that many more Americans can enjoy their freedom, that's the nobler cause.
Good luck to you.