American Horror Story s05e09 Episode Script

COUNTESS: Women age differently than men do.
In a man, the left ventricle, the one that pumps red blood into the body, gets larger, thicker as he gets older.
In a woman, it shrinks.
I am now more than a century old.
My heart must be just a few karats at this point.
There is room there for very little, so what still fits inside means more to me than ever.
It means everything.
The last 100 years of my immortal life have been a lie.
The illusion of control.
In truth, I have controlled nothing.
I have surrounded myself with fools and flatterers, put my trust in those who could not be trusted.
(Valentino grunting, Rambova screams) I have a sneaking suspicion you're going to miss your train.
COUNTESS: Enemies without.
Enemies within.
It is time to construct something new.
Something durable.
With fortifications of iron, stone and steel.
I will not be ruled.
I will not be managed.
WILL: We move all of this.
I pop in a dance floor over there.
I'll fly in Calvin to do the music.
Let's not have some big vulgar display.
I'd rather we just do something simple and intimate.
All I need is you, a justice of the peace, Lachlan to bear the rings, and sprays of lilies of the valley.
Are you kidding? Will Drake is getting married.
This wedding needs to be the event of the season.
Trust me, I'm a showman.
This is what I do.
Well, I'm no show pony.
What are you talking about? I love you, Will.
You need me, I'm restorative, but you let the world suck you dry of any inspiration, and now you want to invite them back in.
I can't be a part of that.
It's them or me.
It's you.
It's-it's always you.
If you want something intimate, then that's what it'll be.
This is your wedding.
It's our wedding.
You design my gown.
I'll take care of everything else.
I suppose it would be a little awkward with all that paparazzi around and you being so camera shy, as it were.
Have the flowers delivered by Wednesday morning.
You're kidding.
Right? Bitch, do you honestly think I would lift a finger to help you with your wedding after what you did? Tristan never loved you.
He didn't know how to love.
You didn't know him at all! He did love me.
You may have taken him away, but I will not let you take that.
Buy your own damn flowers.
(door slams shut) COUNTESS: My largess betrays me.
Those to whom I have given much repay me only with resentment and ingratitude.
Security can be found only by looking into oneself.
Others only make a mess of things.
NEWSWOMAN (over TV): The body of a homeless man, who appears to have been exsanguinated, was found in the City of Industry last night.
No word on how the man's blood was drained, or if this might be related to a series of similar murders that have taken place in the city over the past few weeks.
Police are searching for a small group of children who may have witnessed the attack.
COUNTESS: A woman can only be pushed so far.
And I'm right on the edge.
(phone ringing) I'm weary.
(ringing continues) (over phone): Hello.
Weary of the world failing me.
Yeah, I think I found your boy.
Weary of the steady drip, drip of disappointment.
I won't be disappointed again.
(hinges creaking) May I come in? Only if you kiss me first.
(both laughing softly) (laughing) (passionate moaning) COUNTESS: Oh, God.
I forgot how good you feel inside me.
(moaning) (sighing) Oh, God.
Why did I ever let you leave me? You didn't let me.
You threw me out.
Oh, yeah.
That's right.
You should have fought harder.
Well, I was going to, but you killed him before I could.
Promise me from now on, it's just me.
Forever.
Monogamy, Donovan? Commitment.
We can do what we want with whoever we want Mm-hmm.
but you love only me.
I swear it.
But I won't make the same mistakes again.
It's going to require more than words.
It requires actions.
Whatever you want, baby.
(moaning) Good.
I'm getting married on Wednesday.
What? Relax.
I'll be a widow by Thursday.
A rich widow.
(chuckles) I want to make a clean start of things.
Clear away all the detritus of our lives.
Great, who should we kill first? After your betrothed, I mean.
Let's make a list.
(bell dings) (chuckles) Sorry, douche bag convention is over at the Hilton.
We have a reservation.
Under my name, Stormcock.
Okay.
Would that be a last name or the whole thing, like Madonna? Do you have the reservation or not? It's right here.
So, uh, what are you guys planning on doing up there? MAN: Oh, nothing unusual.
Straight sex, blow job.
I'll probably rim her.
WOMAN: You're not sticking your tongue in my ass.
Nothing like a prude porn star.
I'll bring up some extra towels after you've settled in.
Thank you.
("Blue Monday" by New Order playing) IRIS: I got nothing against pornography, when it's done right.
I went and saw Deep Throat at the Royal on Santa Monica Boulevard, just like everyone else.
Hell, even William Buckley went.
(blow-dryer whirring) That was shot with real actors, on sets, with a script.
Nowadays, any couple of yahoos can take out their iPhones and pretend to be the Sydney Pollack of sex flicks.
And because of that World Wide Web, they can actually make a buck off of it.
And plenty of them are picking the Hotel Cortez to make their mess-terpieces.
(woman moaning) In the past, I'll admit it, I was an enabler.
I'd take the money and hand them a key and try not to think about what was happening upstairs.
But ever since I was converted, I can't turn away.
I don't want to.
It's a new me.
I'm becoming a goddamn Dirty Harriet.
(elevator bell dings) Porn hurts people.
Hurts the girls who think they need to screw like that.
Hurts the guys who think girls want to screw like that.
I'm not uptight, I just don't want it going on in my hotel anymore.
Donovan will like his strong new mother.
Hell, I'm an example for mothers everywhere now.
(woman moaning) I told you you were being too loud.
I'm always loud when I'm faking it.
What the hell? Douche bag.
Oh, my God.
(gasps) Please, I don't want to die.
I don't want to (laughing) Hello, Iris.
Dono, what are you doing here? Wow.
Wow.
I mean, I heard what you did to those hipsters a couple weeks ago, about how you were ready to off The Countess's kids, but I thought it was just tall tales.
But you have clearly come into your own.
'Cause of you.
But, listen, it's not safe for you here.
There's been a problem.
COUNTESS: Someone let Bartholomew out of his room.
Shit.
I nearly lost him.
I demand to know who's responsible.
Well, wasn't me.
Is the life you're protecting really worth losing your own? Or your son's? Donovan had nothing to do with it.
It was Ramona Royale.
I'm worried that she's gonna put it together that the three of us are in cahoots.
We need a plan "B.
" I'm way ahead of you.
The Countess thinks I'm back with her.
(chuckles) That's why I'm here.
Tell me she doesn't have her hooks in you.
Not at all, Mother.
Look just sit tight, keep quiet.
The less you know, the better.
And when I need you, I'll let you know.
MAN: Hey, hello? Can somebody call the police? (laughs) MAN: No.
No, no! We are hot shit, buddy.
I can't believe you're marrying a girl.
I'm gonna be blunt.
Your father is bisexual.
People think that word means something dirty, but it doesn't.
It means I like men and I like women, equally.
People don't understand, so they treat me like I'm weird.
Or like I'm trying to hide something.
Or that That you only like guys? Yeah, something like that.
(chuckles) And if you're lucky, once in your life, you find somebody who really understands you.
And I didn't think someone like that existed for me.
Until I met The Countess.
(sighs) She's the one.
And when you meet the one, you hold on tight and you never let go.
Don't marry her.
She's not the one for you.
- For any man.
- Excuse me, who are you? - How did you get in here? - That's Ms.
Evers.
- She works here.
- Would you like me to bring you a knife, Mr.
Drake? Perhaps a pistol? Or are you the type who would prefer to hurl yourself out a window? Excuse me? Well, clearly you want to commit suicide.
Why else would you agree to marry that poisonous leech of a woman? You are way out of line.
If you marry The Countess, you will die.
And your boy, too, probably.
Get the hell out of here.
You must believe me, sir.
Once she puts the ring on your finger, she will bleed you dry.
I have a prenup to protect me from that.
Get the hell out of here.
You're fired.
I was supposed to be married! I loved him.
But he chose to love her instead.
My father always said to marry a homely woman.
Less trouble.
I disagree.
I adore you.
I depend on you.
Look at the suit I'm wearing.
It was covered in bile, literal bile, from a pullman I knifed the other day.
It's like nothing was ever there.
(laughs) You're a genius.
But The Countess is a creature from heaven.
Style, grace, beauty.
It's not your fault you were graced with different gifts.
No one survives her.
Please leave.
I never want to see you in this hotel again.
So be it.
One day, very soon, you will understand.
You will know nothing but pain, hmm? And I will be there.
And you will reach out to me for help and mercy, and in return, I will watch you die with a smile on my face, because I will know that once you are gone, I will get the chance to clean the blood and shit out of that pretty formal wear of yours.
(door opens, closes) I just wanted to confirm everything because it looks like someone just tried to open up this wall.
Yes, and I'm telling you now to close it.
With a security door.
I'm turning this entire wing into a secure archive for Mr.
Drake's previous collections.
It needs to be impenetrable.
For insurance purposes, of course.
I'd feel more comfortable if we checked with the owner first.
We won't say anything to him.
It's a surprise.
A wedding gift.
When's the happy day? I expect this all to be done by tomorrow.
(chuckles) It's gonna take at least a week to order these parts.
You got a dozen ceiling-mounted I.
P.
cameras, you got biometric The details don't interest me, boo.
Results are the only thing that matters.
What you're asking is impossible.
MARCH: "In order to attain the impossible, one must attempt the absurd.
" Miguel de Cervantes.
Is this your decorator? I'm the silent partner.
The lady has an eye for improvements, does she not? Well, as I was explaining, there's a lot of moving parts.
You are clouding your mind with the inconsequential.
It's quite simple.
This is a load-bearing wall.
Abundantly strong enough for just about any steel you lug up here.
After that, it's just a matter of a few rivets.
I have extensive experience on this.
Gather your materials and your men, and I will guide you through it.
I'll do what I can.
Yes, that's the spirit! Make haste! Much to accomplish! Don't worry your pretty head, dear.
I'll see to it you get what you want.
Are you out of your goddamn mind?! I'd kill you if you weren't dead already.
You disgust me.
You're still upset about the dago.
You screwed up, Jimmy.
You robbed me of the thing I loved the most.
And now I never want to see your pathetic, miserable face ever again.
But we have an arrangement! Please.
Our dinners are my sole comfort in this stygian heap.
The chamber must be completed by tomorrow.
(grunting) You try to run, I will kill you so fast.
(knocking) What the hell? I was taught it was impolite to visit a friend empty-handed.
(grunts) Shut up.
I saw what kind of friend you were.
Oh.
You're a scared little pussy, Donovan.
Couldn't find your balls if they were dangling by a string on her bedpost.
You could never be the kind of man I need to take her down.
You're wrong.
I've been newly motivated.
Tell me more.
I love a good humiliation.
What did she do to you that she hasn't already done? She took me back.
Yeah.
The Countess told me she made a mistake, and I was the one.
Forever.
We made love like it was the first time.
But you didn't believe her.
(chuckles) Oh, I did.
(chuckles) I did.
I wanted her even more than I did before.
Because I knew what it felt like to live without her.
And that's-that's when I realized it was never going away-- my desperation for her.
It is a horrible feeling to have a craving that you can never satiate.
It's an addiction.
I've been where you are.
Let me think about where we go from here.
No, it has to be tonight.
She's getting married to Will Drake tomorrow.
She's distracted.
Also, I slipped enough GHB into her drink to knock out an elephant.
This is the perfect time.
Oh, you got this all planned.
But I can't pull the trigger.
You know that.
Well, I can appreciate a man who understands his own weakness.
Do we have a deal? (groans) Let's drink to it.
You know why I want to take The Countess down.
What took you so long to look for revenge, huh? How do I know I can trust you? It's true.
She killed my man over 20 years ago and tossed me aside.
You know the only thing worse than heartbreak? Loneliness.
Knowing that it's never going to end.
So, in my despair, I went to the only place in the world where I knew for sure there were people who loved me.
Back to the only man in the world that I ever kneeled down for.
Hello, Daddy.
Haven't seen you in ten years, child.
You been doing that plastic surgery? Mm-mm.
You been crying.
You hurt? Only on the inside.
Real bad.
Can I come in? Please? (sobs) I stayed for a few months.
Mama fed my soul, and Daddy straightened me right out.
My daddy pointed his finger at me and told me what was what, and I felt like a little girl again.
Safe.
Daddy.
Daddy.
You all right? Oh, I just lost my place there for a moment.
What were we talking about? (laughs) Honey, it happens all the time now.
"Cassie, where my keys? Cassie, what day is it?" You talk to the doctor, Daddy? Huh? Your mama is the sick one.
Only room for one in the family.
Daddy, let me drive you over to see Dr.
Sammy tomorrow.
I can drive myself if I want to go.
And I don't.
I'm fine.
Okay.
When we lost Mama, things just got worse.
Easy.
For 60 years, they were married.
Without her, his mind just couldn't find a reason to hang on.
(sobbing) He started to get lost in his own neighborhood.
Couldn't find the house that he had lived in for 40 years.
(door opens, closes) Daddy? (gasping) To see this great man laid so low.
It's okay.
Everything's gonna be fine.
I'd seen what the virus had done.
Miraculous things.
Cuts healed.
Broken bones mended in just a few days' time.
So why not? Why couldn't it also bring my daddy back to me? (sucking) (exhales) MAN (over TV): The forecast, showers and thunderstorms today.
(door opens, closes) Cassie? Cassie, that you? RAMONA: But neurons are not cuts, and a diseased brain is not a broken bone.
All the virus had done was stop the Alzheimer's progression.
Mama's gone, Daddy.
You know that.
Who are you? It's me, Daddy.
Your daughter.
He was in no condition to hunt for himself or to even understand what he had become.
So I took care of him.
I brought him back blood from my kills.
I held out hope that since he wasn't getting any worse, maybe he'd get better.
But he didn't get any better.
He just stayed the same.
We both did.
For 20 years.
(glass shatters) Daddy?! Daddy! Daddy.
(TV playing quietly) I couldn't let him live like that, frozen in amber.
So I gave him a Xanax to make him calm.
(sobs softly) (water sloshing gently) (sobs) (crying) Once he was gone, I realized that I was frozen in amber, too.
Decades with my father went by like 20 minutes.
I forgot everything.
Felt nothing.
But a lot of things happened in the world around me in those years.
The Internet.
Goddamn Hulu.
My old movies streaming for free.
For free? Folks started to recognize me again on the street.
I started remembering.
All of it.
What I had, what had been taken from me, and what she had done to me.
My daddy's body died, but the strength I took from his breath stayed with me.
And I am going to use all of it to ruin that woman.
To revenge.
(sighs) To revenge.
What are you doing? Remember me, Max? I'm Dr.
Lowe.
Last time we saw each other was at the hospital.
You were dying from measles.
I saved you by giving you my blood.
Cool.
Thanks.
Who are these other kids? MAX: They're from my class.
They drank my blood.
Now we're all alike.
GIRL: Are you really a doctor? We don't feel good.
Don't be stupid.
You don't need a doctor.
You have to drink the blood.
That's how you get better.
He's a fresh one, Madeline.
Not like the homeless guy.
He tastes good.
ALEX: You killed the homeless man? It's all over the news.
You can't keep doing this.
The police are gonna find you.
I told you guys.
This is wrong.
I don't want to kill anymore.
They made me kill my parents.
JIMMY: Duh! We ate all our parents; that's why nobody's looking for us.
I miss my mom.
MAX: Madeline, it's been, like, four days.
Your spots are coming back.
You have to drink.
All of you.
No.
You're burning up.
Listen, we should just off them.
All the sickies.
The only reason they're alive is because you have a crush on Madeline.
Shut up, Jimmy.
Dude, don't use my real name.
Now she knows who I am! Pretty soon, everybody's gonna know who you are.
You killed the pizza delivery guy.
In about 30 minutes, they're gonna know he went missing.
They have your address.
The cops are gonna come right here to the house.
Come with me, all of you, to the Hotel Cortez.
There are people there like us.
They'll know how to fix this.
MAX: Right.
'Cause that's what we need-- adults telling us what to do.
Screw that.
Listen, we have half an hour.
We can get out of here.
It's just what about her? (metallic swish) You made the rule, Max.
Nobody leaves us alive.
No! She made us.
She can leave.
Come with me to the hotel.
I said leave! I can help you! Fine.
We're leaving.
You explain it to the cops.
(door creaks) She's still out.
She probably won't feel anything.
That's too bad.
My only regret is that she won't know what's coming and who's giving it to her.
What are you gonna do? RAMONA: I'm gonna stab her in the heart, and then cut off her head.
Make sure she stays dead.
What do you want me to do? Watch.
See how someone with cojones finishes the job.
(hissing) (Ramona gasps) (groans) Ballsy enough for you? IRIS: Donovan, I don't understand this.
We're using her as bait? Did she agree to this? Is this plan "B"? There is no plan "B.
" Well, then what are we doing? What are all these cameras for? We are collecting our enemies and putting them in here.
(chuckles) We're gonna hate-watch.
Our enemies? You mean her enemies, don't you? Her enemies are my enemies.
Aw, shit.
God, Donovan.
She loves me, Iris.
And I never stopped loving her.
Anyone who's against us is gonna end up in here, so just keep that in mind.
There is no us with that bitch.
It's just her and surviving until she decides it's time for you to die! The three of us, together-- it's the only chance we have to destroy her.
Did you really think the three of us could ever be partners? Well, then why did you save me? I was weak.
I should have let you die.
(sighs) No.
You're the one who's gonna die, son.
You should listen to your mama.
She's right.
Shut up.
Shut up! Go.
You think you're her one and only? That's what you think? She's already moved on to the next one; you can count on it.
You don't know that, then you're more dumb than you are pretty.
And you are very pretty.
VALENTINO: It is a world I no longer recognize and which no longer recognizes me.
Anonymity is your friend.
To survive, we must be cunning and stick to the shadows.
Natacha does not see it that way.
She has been drawn in by the future.
This modern world speaks to her.
I haven't even seen her since you gave her that black plastic card.
She speaks of nothing but shopping and Uber.
She's costing me a fortune.
But it's worth it, I'll admit.
I did it so I could have you all to myself.
But I thought you loved Natacha.
I loved her because you did.
And because I was young and lacking in self-confidence.
I thought I wasn't woman enough for you.
Bellissima you are woman enough for the both of us.
When I look at you, I see something of my vanished world.
We can have that world again.
No.
It is lost.
There is no place for enchantment anymore.
We can make a place.
We can create one.
God knows I've been trying to recreate you for the last century.
A series of pale imitations, gone, or soon to be.
I don't understand.
I've been clearing the way for us.
We are so close to recapturing what we once lost.
I'm about to come into a great deal of money.
We can use it to turn the Cortez into a fortress against the modern world.
A world I hate even more than you.
And what of Natacha? If something were to happen to her could you go on? I would have you to comfort me.
(door opens) Little Mouse! You were so right.
It's astounding what's become of dusty Beverly Hills.
Shops, shops and more shops.
Rudy, you won't believe what I found.
A store with your name on it-- "Valentino.
" Hmm.
Retail's all well and good, but for the true couture, you have to come to my place.
Are you mad? I'm never stepping foot in the Cortez again.
James March is long dead.
You're perfectly safe.
I'll have a car come pick you up later.
Oh, and, Rudy, you're not invited.
It's just us girls tonight.
(chuckles) (door opens, closes) Anyone present knows any reason why this man and this woman should not be joined in marriage, speak now or forever hold your peace.
Uh yeah.
Because she's a bitch with no conscience, no mercy, no soul.
(chuckles): Oh, Liz.
Ignore her.
She drinks.
But the law requires a witness.
And I've witnessed plenty.
Please proceed.
I now pronounce you husband and wife.
You may kiss the bride.
(both laugh) My men, my family.
I am so happy to finally be Mrs.
Will Drake.
Dad, can I go upstairs now? Of course you may.
And I am going to go upstairs and change out of this beautiful gown you've made me and put on my traveling clothes.
You sure you don't want to have a drink to celebrate first? That's what the honeymoon is for.
I'd like to get that started.
Well, I think I'm going to.
Your wife finds no reason to object, and you own the bar.
Ah.
My darling Liz.
These are for you, with my genuine hope that you someday find true love.
One never knows when it may appear.
("Fade to Grey" by Visage playing) One man on a lonely platform One case sitting by his side Two eyes staring cold and silent Show fear as he turns to hide Ah, yes! A toast to the guide of Cortez.
Or as some folks called her, the bride of Cortez.
March is the name.
Longtime resident.
Call me James.
Mind if I join you? I understand, uh, congratulations are in order.
They are indeed, James.
Let's toast to your good fortune, hmm? I wouldn't suppose you have an Armagnac? I, uh, suspect you do.
Ah.
Here's to new worlds to conquer.
I will drink to that.
(sighs): Ah, yes.
We are led by the women in our lives, are we not? You know The Countess? Acquainted, yes.
I never thought I was the marrying kind, and now I get to call that woman my wife.
(laughs) Felicitations to the happy couple.
I must commend you.
A blended family is terribly progressive.
I'm very lucky.
She loves my son very much.
I, uh wasn't referring to your son.
Ah, we fade to grey.
(door creaks) Initially, I had my doubts the child was of my own flesh and blood.
You see, he doesn't bear any of the distinctive March features.
Diamond jaw, strong, piercing eyes.
A flair for the dramatic.
He has quite a delicate temperament, as you'll get to know.
(quiet growling) Except when he's feeding.
In that regard, he most certainly takes after his mother.
Holy shit! What the hell is that thing? COUNTESS: And to think, I was prepared to love and raise your son.
What is going on? What is this-- some, some sort of prank? That thing can't be yours.
It doesn't even look human.
I thought to kill you in Paris, but I could never stomach traveling with someone who said such hateful things about my child.
I am going to make sure you suffer, immensely.
(chuckles softly) RAMONA: Hey.
Hey.
Are you okay? Where the hell are we? Who are you? One of her victims.
(groans) Just like you.
(groans) Uh, this this is insane.
This can't be real.
You're about to find out just how real it is, when they come back down here and stick you in that other one.
Please get me out of this.
Please! (panting) There's a handle in the back.
Yeah.
(groans): Oh.
(metallic creaking) Oh! (panting) All right.
- All right, it's gonna be okay.
- Oh.
There's got to be a way out of here.
(sighs) Hello?! Is anybody there?! Help! Let us out of here! Help! Jesus, I think it's soundproof.
No one even knows we're here.
We'll starve.
I won't.
(gurgling) (Ramona yelling, Will groaning) (sobs): Help me.
Please.
(grunting, gurgling)