Breaking Bad s05e09 Episode Script
Blood Money
Previously on AMC's Breaking Bad All of this, falling apart is on you! I can grow your business exponentially.
What do you know about the Czech Republic? This office needs an ASAC.
I have no doubt this DO would be well served with you at the helm.
I left something for you.
I'm out.
W.
W.
I mean, who do you figure that is? You got me.
_ Hello, Carol.
Oh, my God, Skyler.
Okay, I'll take the pink one.
- It's a princess cupcake.
- Ooh.
- Skyler? - I know, right? Well, actually, they were my idea, so you are all welcome.
You are the devil.
Hey, buddy.
Ready for a cold one? Nah.
I'm not feeling hundred percent.
- Oh, no.
- I hope it's not something you ate.
No, no, I just We have Pepto, Uncle Hank.
Yeah.
Uh, no, I'm good.
I-I-I-- We need to shove off.
Okay, yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm sorry, Skyler.
I hate to leave you with-- No, no, don't worry about it.
I have plenty of help.
- And by that, she means me.
- That is correct.
- Holly can help.
- Let's go say good-bye.
Let's go send them on their way.
- Let's say good-bye.
- Yes.
- Too long.
- Mwah.
Say, "Bye, Auntie.
" Bye, sweetie.
Bye-bye.
Hey, and you know it's been about a hundred years since we've been bowling.
- Well, then, how about Thursday night? - Oh, that sounds great.
Oh, thank you for having us.
Hey.
You okay to drive? Yeah.
All right.
Well, feel better.
Say, "Bye, Uncle Hank.
" Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye, Aunt Marie.
Can you wave bye? All right, let's get started on those dishes.
Come on.
- You.
- No, you.
- You.
Washing, okay? - I'll dry.
You wash.
- Hello, Carol.
Oh, hi, Walt.
Europe.
I can't believe it.
- Were you there when she said that? - Yeah.
You okay? Your stomach okay? Yeah, oh, yeah.
I'm fine.
Okay.
God.
Jesus, Europe.
I just-- And, you know, where they were three or four months ago.
Oh, she was talking about it.
It sounds like it's-- We need to go to Europe.
- We could go.
- Yeah.
It'd have to be, like, a business trip, you know.
It could, um-- We could go to Italy.
To, um, Lake Como.
It's "Como," right? Like Mario Cuomo? Hank.
Hank? Hank? Baby, you okay? Hank! Oh, my God.
Hank! Hank! Hank! Oh, my God! Hank, are you-- - Are you okay? Are you okay? - I'm good.
Call an ambulance! Call an ambulance! Okay.
You okay? Just take a breath.
Oh, God, sweetheart.
It was an accident.
It happens.
I'll make the appointment.
All you have to do is show up.
For what? Three hours in the Emergency Room? All for nothing? All they did was rule out a heart attack.
- What if it happens again? - It's not gonna happen again.
How can you know that? You can't even say what it was in the first place.
Marie, baby, I'm okay.
I'm fine.
Trust me.
Discussion over.
- And do not tell Skyler.
- What? Why? Just don't.
There's nothing to be embarrassed about.
Hank? _ _ _ Hola, Mariano.
Morning.
Luis.
Enrique.
Oh, feliz cumpleaños, Enrique.
Hi.
Hi.
Here you go.
There's complimentary coffee inside.
Have an A-1 day.
Air fresheners are high margin, right? At 30 cents wholesale, yeah.
Right.
So I'm thinking we reorganize the display, separate the food scents from the nature scents.
I mean, does bubble gum belong anywhere near ocean spray? No.
And pine is still our biggest seller, right? So maybe we move that over to the cash register by the five-hour energy drink.
Sure.
Fine.
Yeah, yeah.
Come here.
Speaking of the business, the story comes first.
The story is is that we are car wash owners, pure and simple.
But if our story is that the car wash is successful, what do successful car wash owners do? They buy more car washes.
Listen.
Skyler.
We'll be laundering that money for years.
Decades.
Wouldn't two be better than one? Well, there's gentle hands over by Kirtland.
I do love that location.
I'll think about it.
Yeah.
Right.
Right.
To be continued.
Okay.
Good morning.
Welcome to A-1.
Just the regular, please.
Well, we're having a special on hand wax-- 21.
99-- if you're interested in getting rid of those water spots.
Just the regular is fine.
Okay.
Well, there's complimentary coffee inside while you're waiting.
Have an A-1 day.
Please give this to your car wash professional, and have an A-1 day.
Good morning.
May I have your ticket, please? I knew there would be a drop in quality, but 68%? This is not what I agreed to.
I left a viable operation.
The rest was up to you.
May I have your ticket, please? I'm only asking for a few days.
A week at most.
Call it a tutorial.
That's the standard wash.
Fix this.
Get the ship back on course.
We'll make it worth your while.
That'll be 14.
95, please.
Listen, this is a complicated situation.
There are a lot of moving parts.
None of which are my concern.
You're putting me in a box here.
You know what could happen.
Again, none of my concern.
There's your change.
And if you'll hand this to your car wash professional.
And have an A-1 day.
- Listen-- - It'll only be a few more minutes.
There's some complimentary coffee, if you like.
What's up? Just wondering who washes a rental car.
Walt, who was that? She's a former business associate who wants me to go back.
And I won't.
Enrique, this one's finished.
Terminado.
Gracias.
Get out of here.
Now.
- Excuse me? - Never come back here.
Do you understand me? - I-- - Go.
Hey.
Hey.
Oh, thanks.
Are you going in today? - Uh, no.
Uh-uh.
- Good.
Just, you ow, stay out of there till you're sure you're better.
- Yeah.
- Stay home and rest.
- Don't even think about work.
- Okay.
- All right.
I'll see you later.
- Bye-bye.
- Morning, Mrs.
Schrader.
- Hey, guys.
- What's going on? - Just dropping these off, ma'am.
- Where would you like them? - Bring them around to the garage, guys.
I got it.
Have a good day.
You too.
Boss, Janice said to tell you a few of them might not have indexes.
- We could give you a hand sorting through them.
- No, I got it.
Thanks.
All right.
- See you, boss.
- Okay.
Okay, um Your world is in flames there ain't even a name for the feelings you feel as you watch it all burn there's a girl in the distance she's calling your name but the name that she's calling is not your name she calls the word mule, the word mule, the word mule but he's plowing the field the word mule, the word mule, the word mule but he's plowing the field my friends, look out for hustlers for preachers, for shysters them silver-tongued saints that pretend to do good 'cause they're geeks biting chicken heads off with their witty rejoinders they ain't nothing but greasy fast food for the word mule, yeah, the word mule good God, the word mule he will eat them alive the word mule, the word mule, the word mule he's plowing the field Dude, you are tripping.
I'm not dead.
I'm on the starship Enterprise, macking on Yeoman Rand, while the Andorian with the Disrupter's back on Talos Four or whatever.
What do you think all those sparkles and shit are? The transporters are breaking you apart, man.
Down to your molecules and bones.
They're making a copy.
That dude who comes out on the other side, he's not you.
He's a Color Xerox.
So you're telling me every time Kirk went into the transport, he was killing himself? So over the whole series, there was, like, 147 Kirks? At least.
Dude, yo, why do you think McCoy never likes to beam nowhere? 'Cause he's a doctor, bitch.
Look it up.
It's science.
I ever tell you about my Star Trek script? Star Trek script? Yeah.
I gotta write it down is all.
The Enterprise is five parsecs out of Rigel 12.
Nothing's going on, Neutral Zone is quiet, the crew is bored, so they put on a pie-eating contest.
- The whole crew's in the galley.
They're eating tulaberry pies-- - Tulaberry? Tulaberries.
From Gamma Quadrant, yo.
That's Voyager, dude.
Okay, blueberries then.
They're eating blueberry pies as fast as the replicator can churn them out.
Finally, it's down to just three-- Kirk, Spock, and Chekov.
Okay, Spock always wins these things.
How is Spock gonna beat Kirk, yo? Spock's like a toothbrush.
Look at Kirk.
He's got room to spare.
Spock has total vulcan control over his digestion.
- You wanna hear this or not? - Yeah, yeah, go.
Okay, finally, Kirk-- he can't take it anymore.
He yorks.
Now it's just down to Chekov and Spock.
But Chekov, you see, he's got a whole fat stack of Quatloos riding on this, and he has figured out a way to win.
He's got Scotty back in the transporter room, locked in on Chekov's stomach.
Every time Chekov eats a pie, Scotty beams it right out of him.
Where is he sending them? The toilet? Space.
There's blueberries just floating out there, frozen, because it's in space, and Chekov is just shoveling them into his mouth, and Spock's like, "I can't believe this Russian is defeating me.
" Meanwhile, Scotty's in the transporter room fiddling with levers, when Lieutenant Uhura comes in, and she's got, you know, her big pointies.
- And Scotty's fingers are all sweaty.
- No.
Chekov screams.
He sprays blood out of his mouth.
Scotty beamed his guts into space! No way! Hey, man, where you going? You're missing the best part.
Just fill this out.
Bring it back to me.
Yo.
Yo! Ohhh.
You know you can't smoke that up in here.
Yeah.
Jesse Pinkman's out here smoking pot.
Give me a break, man.
Pinkman, he'll see you now.
Woody Harrelson, live and in person.
Pull up a bong and take a seat.
Hey, I'm kidding about the bong.
Don't be doing that.
Uh, sorry to keep you on ice out there, kid.
If I'd known it was you, well Francesca.
I've warned her before.
One more time, and it's back to the DMV.
So, uh, are we on our own today? Barn door open.
"Barn door"? Oh.
So, uh, how is the maestro? Things have been quiet on this end.
I haven't seen him.
Just as well, probably.
That whole thing in the jails-- I mean, when they start to whack the lawyers, that's when I draw the line.
This goes to Kaylee Ehrmantraut, and that goes to Mr.
and Mrs.
Albert Sharp.
It's up in White Horse.
It's 2 1/2 million each.
A total of five.
Mr.
and Mrs.
, uh, who? Drew Sharp's parents.
Drew Sharp-- that's the kid on TV.
The missing, uh-- So but why would you, uh-- Scratch that.
I don't know, and I don't wanna know.
Uh, thing is, what those folks want is to know what happened to their boy.
Sack full of cash on their doorstep-- that's just gonna raise more questions.
Kaylee Ehrmantraut.
That's Mike's granddaughter? - So this is Mike's money? - It's mine.
It's your money.
Okay.
And you're giving it to Kaylee Ehrmantraut It's what Mike wanted.
So you and Mike, uh You've been in touch? So we're just talking about charity? Yeah.
Okay, look.
You know, um, shelling out money to the ex and her little boy-- I kinda get it.
I mean, kinda.
But this-- This is a bridge too far.
I'm sorry to say, kid, but you're still gonna be two miracles short of sainthood.
Brass tacks, okay? My job is to advise.
And my advice is Come on, already.
Mike left one step ahead of the boys in blue, and you better believe his family's on the radar.
A couple million bucks shows up, they're gonna snatch it tout de suite.
The feds have already taken Kaylee's money twice.
What are you you going for a hat trick? - I'll freaking do it myself, Saul.
- No, no, no! I was just-- I was thinking out loud.
Enough bullshit, Saul.
Are you gonna do this or not? Yes, yes, absolutely.
I-- I live to serve.
And, kid, you might wanna think about cleaning up a little, getting some rest.
- You've looked better.
- Just get it done.
You know who this is? Don't hang up on me.
Yeah, there's a problem.
There's five million of them here in my office.
No.
No.
Don't.
Just hold onto it.
Yes.
Ye-- Yes.
Calm down.
I'll handle it.
Déjà vu, huh? Jesus.
All right, look.
You wanna talk me through this? What you were thinking? What you asked Saul to do? I mean, come on.
It's just nonsensical.
I mean, do you You have any explanation at all? What? It's like you said.
It's It's blood money.
I s-- Jeez.
Okay.
Yes.
All right.
I said that.
I did.
But it was in-- in the heat of the moment.
I was trying to win an argument, all right? And I was wrong.
This is your money.
Come on.
You've earned it.
Drew Sharp.
That is a terrible memory, no doubt about it.
But, son you need to stop focusing on the darkness behind you.
The past is the past.
Nothing can change what we've done.
But now that's over.
You're out, and so am I.
That's right.
I'm done.
I've been out for about a month.
And there is nothing left for us to do except to try to live ordinary, decent lives.
Why Kaylee Ehrmantraut? She needs someone looking after her.
Mike is perfectly capable of looking after his own granddaughter.
I don't think so.
I don't think he is capable.
I don't think he's coming back.
What-- what are you saying? You doing what you did-- offing Mike's guys? If he was out there, you would have to look over your shoulder for the rest of your life, and that's not how you do things.
So I think he's dead, and I think you know that.
I don't know that.
I don't.
Listen to me.
I did not kill Mike.
The last time that I saw him, he had his bag-- the one that I brought him-- and he got into his car, and he drove away.
And for all I know, he is alive and well.
And if-- and if he does come back, and he doesn't understand why I had to do what I did well, then, that's on me.
Jesse I need you to believe this.
It's not true.
It's just not.
So he's out there.
He's okay.
Yes.
Mike is fine.
Wherever he is.
We both know that he can take care of himself.
And he's certainly capable to provide for his own family, okay? Jesse? I need you to believe me.
Yeah.
Like you said.
He's alive.
Yeah.
Mike's alive.
Absolutely.
Well, you've gotta have a college counselor.
Are they bringing in someone new? I don't know.
Um, maybe she'll be back.
And what if she's not? What are you supposed to do? I mean, what's Louis gonna do? - He's-- he's not worried.
- Oh, yeah, sure.
What's there to worry about? It's only college, right? Right.
College.
Nothing more important.
Oh.
You know, Uncle Hank's still not feeling well, so bowling's off tomorrow night.
Really? Really.
So you're spared a night out with the family.
You do not have to look so happy about it.
I'll be right back.
Um so if bowling's off, can I-- can I get a late curfew? Ah.
Ugh.
Are you gonna turn off the light? Have you seen Leaves Of Grass? Hmm? My book.
Walt Whitman.
Dark green hardcover? I didn't even know we had that.
Hmm.
You don't think Junior You're kidding, right? Well, it'll show up.
What's wrong with Hank? Mm, it's a stomach bug, sounds like.
He hasn't been to work all week.
Well, good night.
Good night.
Mister, can you help me out? Spare some change? Hey.
Come back.
Yeah.
You.
Come here.
I got something for you.
Here.
Take it.
Go ahead.
Just take it.
Take it.
Yeah.
Anything you want us to tell Steve Gomez? He says he's worried about you.
Yeah.
Tell him I already got two grandmas.
Listen, tell everybody more work and less worry.
- We better hit it.
- Yeah.
See ya.
- Hey, guys.
- Walt.
- How are you? Good to see you.
- How you doing? Very good.
Yeah.
Well, you know.
I can't complain.
Hey, how's your son's arm, by the way? I was thinking about that.
It's back to 100%.
We're going to District.
It's gonna be exciting.
When? This Saturday? This Saturday morning.
I think first pitch is at 10:00 AM, so, uh - 10:00.
- Yeah.
Be there.
Should be a big crowd.
Guys, you're still on the clock here! Let's go! See you, Walt.
- See you, Artie.
- See you, Walt.
All right, Scott.
Be well.
They're good guys, huh? Yeah.
- Well, it's good to see you up and about.
- Yeah.
- How you feeling? - Well, you know, I've been better, but I don't know.
You-- Did you get to see a doctor? I mean, when one of these things lasts more than three days you really should get that checked.
Yeah, no, I-- I did and I'm fine.
I'm, uh-- I'm what they say on the upswing, you know? Mm.
Good.
Good to hear.
Yeah.
When I heard you weren't going in to work, I-- Well, looks like you have the work coming to you.
Perks of being the boss, huh? Yeah, you know How's, uh-- how's things at the car wash? - Good.
- Yeah? Yeah, really good.
Hey, did you have any of that potato salad? - I don't know.
Ma-- maybe.
- Yeah, I mean, no one else got sick, so you probably shouldn't worry about it.
Well, Skyler will be very happy to hear that you're feeling better.
Which reminds me.
I better get back to it.
If there's anything I can do Feel better.
You know You're gonna laugh, but I have to ask you about this.
Believe it or not, I found this on my car.
I mean, it looks just like the GPS tracker that we used on Gus Fring, doesn't it? Back when we were tracking him, just the two of us? You wouldn't know anything about this, would you, Hank? You okay? I gotta say, I don't like the way you're looking at me right now.
Ugh! - Hank-- - It was you.
All along, it was you! You son of a bitch.
You drove into traffic to keep me from that laundry.
Calm down.
That call I got telling me Marie was in the hospital that wasn't Pinkman.
You had my cell number.
You killed ten witnesses to save your sorry ass.
- Listen to me-- - You bombed a nursing home.
Heisenberg.
Heisenberg! You lying, two-faced sack of shit.
Hank, look, I don't know where this is coming from, Hank, but just-- I swear to Christ, I will put you under the jail.
Just take a breath, okay? Just listen to yourself.
These wild accusations-- they could destroy our family.
- And for what? - Damn, like you give a shit about family! Hank, my cancer is back.
Good.
Rot, you son of a bitch.
I'm sorry you feel that way.
I wanna beat this thing.
I do.
I'm back on chemo, and I am fighting like hell.
But the truth is in six months, you won't have someone to prosecute.
But even-- even if somehow you were able to convince anyone I was capable of doing these things, you and I both know I would never see the inside of a jail cell.
I'm a dying man who runs a car wash.
My right hand to God, that is all that I am.
What's the point? Have Skyler bring the kids here, and then we'll talk.
That is not going to happen.
I don't know who you are.
I don't even know who I'm talking to.
If that's true, if you don't know who I am then maybe your best course would be to tread lightly.
What do you know about the Czech Republic? This office needs an ASAC.
I have no doubt this DO would be well served with you at the helm.
I left something for you.
I'm out.
W.
W.
I mean, who do you figure that is? You got me.
_ Hello, Carol.
Oh, my God, Skyler.
Okay, I'll take the pink one.
- It's a princess cupcake.
- Ooh.
- Skyler? - I know, right? Well, actually, they were my idea, so you are all welcome.
You are the devil.
Hey, buddy.
Ready for a cold one? Nah.
I'm not feeling hundred percent.
- Oh, no.
- I hope it's not something you ate.
No, no, I just We have Pepto, Uncle Hank.
Yeah.
Uh, no, I'm good.
I-I-I-- We need to shove off.
Okay, yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm sorry, Skyler.
I hate to leave you with-- No, no, don't worry about it.
I have plenty of help.
- And by that, she means me.
- That is correct.
- Holly can help.
- Let's go say good-bye.
Let's go send them on their way.
- Let's say good-bye.
- Yes.
- Too long.
- Mwah.
Say, "Bye, Auntie.
" Bye, sweetie.
Bye-bye.
Hey, and you know it's been about a hundred years since we've been bowling.
- Well, then, how about Thursday night? - Oh, that sounds great.
Oh, thank you for having us.
Hey.
You okay to drive? Yeah.
All right.
Well, feel better.
Say, "Bye, Uncle Hank.
" Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye, Aunt Marie.
Can you wave bye? All right, let's get started on those dishes.
Come on.
- You.
- No, you.
- You.
Washing, okay? - I'll dry.
You wash.
- Hello, Carol.
Oh, hi, Walt.
Europe.
I can't believe it.
- Were you there when she said that? - Yeah.
You okay? Your stomach okay? Yeah, oh, yeah.
I'm fine.
Okay.
God.
Jesus, Europe.
I just-- And, you know, where they were three or four months ago.
Oh, she was talking about it.
It sounds like it's-- We need to go to Europe.
- We could go.
- Yeah.
It'd have to be, like, a business trip, you know.
It could, um-- We could go to Italy.
To, um, Lake Como.
It's "Como," right? Like Mario Cuomo? Hank.
Hank? Hank? Baby, you okay? Hank! Oh, my God.
Hank! Hank! Hank! Oh, my God! Hank, are you-- - Are you okay? Are you okay? - I'm good.
Call an ambulance! Call an ambulance! Okay.
You okay? Just take a breath.
Oh, God, sweetheart.
It was an accident.
It happens.
I'll make the appointment.
All you have to do is show up.
For what? Three hours in the Emergency Room? All for nothing? All they did was rule out a heart attack.
- What if it happens again? - It's not gonna happen again.
How can you know that? You can't even say what it was in the first place.
Marie, baby, I'm okay.
I'm fine.
Trust me.
Discussion over.
- And do not tell Skyler.
- What? Why? Just don't.
There's nothing to be embarrassed about.
Hank? _ _ _ Hola, Mariano.
Morning.
Luis.
Enrique.
Oh, feliz cumpleaños, Enrique.
Hi.
Hi.
Here you go.
There's complimentary coffee inside.
Have an A-1 day.
Air fresheners are high margin, right? At 30 cents wholesale, yeah.
Right.
So I'm thinking we reorganize the display, separate the food scents from the nature scents.
I mean, does bubble gum belong anywhere near ocean spray? No.
And pine is still our biggest seller, right? So maybe we move that over to the cash register by the five-hour energy drink.
Sure.
Fine.
Yeah, yeah.
Come here.
Speaking of the business, the story comes first.
The story is is that we are car wash owners, pure and simple.
But if our story is that the car wash is successful, what do successful car wash owners do? They buy more car washes.
Listen.
Skyler.
We'll be laundering that money for years.
Decades.
Wouldn't two be better than one? Well, there's gentle hands over by Kirtland.
I do love that location.
I'll think about it.
Yeah.
Right.
Right.
To be continued.
Okay.
Good morning.
Welcome to A-1.
Just the regular, please.
Well, we're having a special on hand wax-- 21.
99-- if you're interested in getting rid of those water spots.
Just the regular is fine.
Okay.
Well, there's complimentary coffee inside while you're waiting.
Have an A-1 day.
Please give this to your car wash professional, and have an A-1 day.
Good morning.
May I have your ticket, please? I knew there would be a drop in quality, but 68%? This is not what I agreed to.
I left a viable operation.
The rest was up to you.
May I have your ticket, please? I'm only asking for a few days.
A week at most.
Call it a tutorial.
That's the standard wash.
Fix this.
Get the ship back on course.
We'll make it worth your while.
That'll be 14.
95, please.
Listen, this is a complicated situation.
There are a lot of moving parts.
None of which are my concern.
You're putting me in a box here.
You know what could happen.
Again, none of my concern.
There's your change.
And if you'll hand this to your car wash professional.
And have an A-1 day.
- Listen-- - It'll only be a few more minutes.
There's some complimentary coffee, if you like.
What's up? Just wondering who washes a rental car.
Walt, who was that? She's a former business associate who wants me to go back.
And I won't.
Enrique, this one's finished.
Terminado.
Gracias.
Get out of here.
Now.
- Excuse me? - Never come back here.
Do you understand me? - I-- - Go.
Hey.
Hey.
Oh, thanks.
Are you going in today? - Uh, no.
Uh-uh.
- Good.
Just, you ow, stay out of there till you're sure you're better.
- Yeah.
- Stay home and rest.
- Don't even think about work.
- Okay.
- All right.
I'll see you later.
- Bye-bye.
- Morning, Mrs.
Schrader.
- Hey, guys.
- What's going on? - Just dropping these off, ma'am.
- Where would you like them? - Bring them around to the garage, guys.
I got it.
Have a good day.
You too.
Boss, Janice said to tell you a few of them might not have indexes.
- We could give you a hand sorting through them.
- No, I got it.
Thanks.
All right.
- See you, boss.
- Okay.
Okay, um Your world is in flames there ain't even a name for the feelings you feel as you watch it all burn there's a girl in the distance she's calling your name but the name that she's calling is not your name she calls the word mule, the word mule, the word mule but he's plowing the field the word mule, the word mule, the word mule but he's plowing the field my friends, look out for hustlers for preachers, for shysters them silver-tongued saints that pretend to do good 'cause they're geeks biting chicken heads off with their witty rejoinders they ain't nothing but greasy fast food for the word mule, yeah, the word mule good God, the word mule he will eat them alive the word mule, the word mule, the word mule he's plowing the field Dude, you are tripping.
I'm not dead.
I'm on the starship Enterprise, macking on Yeoman Rand, while the Andorian with the Disrupter's back on Talos Four or whatever.
What do you think all those sparkles and shit are? The transporters are breaking you apart, man.
Down to your molecules and bones.
They're making a copy.
That dude who comes out on the other side, he's not you.
He's a Color Xerox.
So you're telling me every time Kirk went into the transport, he was killing himself? So over the whole series, there was, like, 147 Kirks? At least.
Dude, yo, why do you think McCoy never likes to beam nowhere? 'Cause he's a doctor, bitch.
Look it up.
It's science.
I ever tell you about my Star Trek script? Star Trek script? Yeah.
I gotta write it down is all.
The Enterprise is five parsecs out of Rigel 12.
Nothing's going on, Neutral Zone is quiet, the crew is bored, so they put on a pie-eating contest.
- The whole crew's in the galley.
They're eating tulaberry pies-- - Tulaberry? Tulaberries.
From Gamma Quadrant, yo.
That's Voyager, dude.
Okay, blueberries then.
They're eating blueberry pies as fast as the replicator can churn them out.
Finally, it's down to just three-- Kirk, Spock, and Chekov.
Okay, Spock always wins these things.
How is Spock gonna beat Kirk, yo? Spock's like a toothbrush.
Look at Kirk.
He's got room to spare.
Spock has total vulcan control over his digestion.
- You wanna hear this or not? - Yeah, yeah, go.
Okay, finally, Kirk-- he can't take it anymore.
He yorks.
Now it's just down to Chekov and Spock.
But Chekov, you see, he's got a whole fat stack of Quatloos riding on this, and he has figured out a way to win.
He's got Scotty back in the transporter room, locked in on Chekov's stomach.
Every time Chekov eats a pie, Scotty beams it right out of him.
Where is he sending them? The toilet? Space.
There's blueberries just floating out there, frozen, because it's in space, and Chekov is just shoveling them into his mouth, and Spock's like, "I can't believe this Russian is defeating me.
" Meanwhile, Scotty's in the transporter room fiddling with levers, when Lieutenant Uhura comes in, and she's got, you know, her big pointies.
- And Scotty's fingers are all sweaty.
- No.
Chekov screams.
He sprays blood out of his mouth.
Scotty beamed his guts into space! No way! Hey, man, where you going? You're missing the best part.
Just fill this out.
Bring it back to me.
Yo.
Yo! Ohhh.
You know you can't smoke that up in here.
Yeah.
Jesse Pinkman's out here smoking pot.
Give me a break, man.
Pinkman, he'll see you now.
Woody Harrelson, live and in person.
Pull up a bong and take a seat.
Hey, I'm kidding about the bong.
Don't be doing that.
Uh, sorry to keep you on ice out there, kid.
If I'd known it was you, well Francesca.
I've warned her before.
One more time, and it's back to the DMV.
So, uh, are we on our own today? Barn door open.
"Barn door"? Oh.
So, uh, how is the maestro? Things have been quiet on this end.
I haven't seen him.
Just as well, probably.
That whole thing in the jails-- I mean, when they start to whack the lawyers, that's when I draw the line.
This goes to Kaylee Ehrmantraut, and that goes to Mr.
and Mrs.
Albert Sharp.
It's up in White Horse.
It's 2 1/2 million each.
A total of five.
Mr.
and Mrs.
, uh, who? Drew Sharp's parents.
Drew Sharp-- that's the kid on TV.
The missing, uh-- So but why would you, uh-- Scratch that.
I don't know, and I don't wanna know.
Uh, thing is, what those folks want is to know what happened to their boy.
Sack full of cash on their doorstep-- that's just gonna raise more questions.
Kaylee Ehrmantraut.
That's Mike's granddaughter? - So this is Mike's money? - It's mine.
It's your money.
Okay.
And you're giving it to Kaylee Ehrmantraut It's what Mike wanted.
So you and Mike, uh You've been in touch? So we're just talking about charity? Yeah.
Okay, look.
You know, um, shelling out money to the ex and her little boy-- I kinda get it.
I mean, kinda.
But this-- This is a bridge too far.
I'm sorry to say, kid, but you're still gonna be two miracles short of sainthood.
Brass tacks, okay? My job is to advise.
And my advice is Come on, already.
Mike left one step ahead of the boys in blue, and you better believe his family's on the radar.
A couple million bucks shows up, they're gonna snatch it tout de suite.
The feds have already taken Kaylee's money twice.
What are you you going for a hat trick? - I'll freaking do it myself, Saul.
- No, no, no! I was just-- I was thinking out loud.
Enough bullshit, Saul.
Are you gonna do this or not? Yes, yes, absolutely.
I-- I live to serve.
And, kid, you might wanna think about cleaning up a little, getting some rest.
- You've looked better.
- Just get it done.
You know who this is? Don't hang up on me.
Yeah, there's a problem.
There's five million of them here in my office.
No.
No.
Don't.
Just hold onto it.
Yes.
Ye-- Yes.
Calm down.
I'll handle it.
Déjà vu, huh? Jesus.
All right, look.
You wanna talk me through this? What you were thinking? What you asked Saul to do? I mean, come on.
It's just nonsensical.
I mean, do you You have any explanation at all? What? It's like you said.
It's It's blood money.
I s-- Jeez.
Okay.
Yes.
All right.
I said that.
I did.
But it was in-- in the heat of the moment.
I was trying to win an argument, all right? And I was wrong.
This is your money.
Come on.
You've earned it.
Drew Sharp.
That is a terrible memory, no doubt about it.
But, son you need to stop focusing on the darkness behind you.
The past is the past.
Nothing can change what we've done.
But now that's over.
You're out, and so am I.
That's right.
I'm done.
I've been out for about a month.
And there is nothing left for us to do except to try to live ordinary, decent lives.
Why Kaylee Ehrmantraut? She needs someone looking after her.
Mike is perfectly capable of looking after his own granddaughter.
I don't think so.
I don't think he is capable.
I don't think he's coming back.
What-- what are you saying? You doing what you did-- offing Mike's guys? If he was out there, you would have to look over your shoulder for the rest of your life, and that's not how you do things.
So I think he's dead, and I think you know that.
I don't know that.
I don't.
Listen to me.
I did not kill Mike.
The last time that I saw him, he had his bag-- the one that I brought him-- and he got into his car, and he drove away.
And for all I know, he is alive and well.
And if-- and if he does come back, and he doesn't understand why I had to do what I did well, then, that's on me.
Jesse I need you to believe this.
It's not true.
It's just not.
So he's out there.
He's okay.
Yes.
Mike is fine.
Wherever he is.
We both know that he can take care of himself.
And he's certainly capable to provide for his own family, okay? Jesse? I need you to believe me.
Yeah.
Like you said.
He's alive.
Yeah.
Mike's alive.
Absolutely.
Well, you've gotta have a college counselor.
Are they bringing in someone new? I don't know.
Um, maybe she'll be back.
And what if she's not? What are you supposed to do? I mean, what's Louis gonna do? - He's-- he's not worried.
- Oh, yeah, sure.
What's there to worry about? It's only college, right? Right.
College.
Nothing more important.
Oh.
You know, Uncle Hank's still not feeling well, so bowling's off tomorrow night.
Really? Really.
So you're spared a night out with the family.
You do not have to look so happy about it.
I'll be right back.
Um so if bowling's off, can I-- can I get a late curfew? Ah.
Ugh.
Are you gonna turn off the light? Have you seen Leaves Of Grass? Hmm? My book.
Walt Whitman.
Dark green hardcover? I didn't even know we had that.
Hmm.
You don't think Junior You're kidding, right? Well, it'll show up.
What's wrong with Hank? Mm, it's a stomach bug, sounds like.
He hasn't been to work all week.
Well, good night.
Good night.
Mister, can you help me out? Spare some change? Hey.
Come back.
Yeah.
You.
Come here.
I got something for you.
Here.
Take it.
Go ahead.
Just take it.
Take it.
Yeah.
Anything you want us to tell Steve Gomez? He says he's worried about you.
Yeah.
Tell him I already got two grandmas.
Listen, tell everybody more work and less worry.
- We better hit it.
- Yeah.
See ya.
- Hey, guys.
- Walt.
- How are you? Good to see you.
- How you doing? Very good.
Yeah.
Well, you know.
I can't complain.
Hey, how's your son's arm, by the way? I was thinking about that.
It's back to 100%.
We're going to District.
It's gonna be exciting.
When? This Saturday? This Saturday morning.
I think first pitch is at 10:00 AM, so, uh - 10:00.
- Yeah.
Be there.
Should be a big crowd.
Guys, you're still on the clock here! Let's go! See you, Walt.
- See you, Artie.
- See you, Walt.
All right, Scott.
Be well.
They're good guys, huh? Yeah.
- Well, it's good to see you up and about.
- Yeah.
- How you feeling? - Well, you know, I've been better, but I don't know.
You-- Did you get to see a doctor? I mean, when one of these things lasts more than three days you really should get that checked.
Yeah, no, I-- I did and I'm fine.
I'm, uh-- I'm what they say on the upswing, you know? Mm.
Good.
Good to hear.
Yeah.
When I heard you weren't going in to work, I-- Well, looks like you have the work coming to you.
Perks of being the boss, huh? Yeah, you know How's, uh-- how's things at the car wash? - Good.
- Yeah? Yeah, really good.
Hey, did you have any of that potato salad? - I don't know.
Ma-- maybe.
- Yeah, I mean, no one else got sick, so you probably shouldn't worry about it.
Well, Skyler will be very happy to hear that you're feeling better.
Which reminds me.
I better get back to it.
If there's anything I can do Feel better.
You know You're gonna laugh, but I have to ask you about this.
Believe it or not, I found this on my car.
I mean, it looks just like the GPS tracker that we used on Gus Fring, doesn't it? Back when we were tracking him, just the two of us? You wouldn't know anything about this, would you, Hank? You okay? I gotta say, I don't like the way you're looking at me right now.
Ugh! - Hank-- - It was you.
All along, it was you! You son of a bitch.
You drove into traffic to keep me from that laundry.
Calm down.
That call I got telling me Marie was in the hospital that wasn't Pinkman.
You had my cell number.
You killed ten witnesses to save your sorry ass.
- Listen to me-- - You bombed a nursing home.
Heisenberg.
Heisenberg! You lying, two-faced sack of shit.
Hank, look, I don't know where this is coming from, Hank, but just-- I swear to Christ, I will put you under the jail.
Just take a breath, okay? Just listen to yourself.
These wild accusations-- they could destroy our family.
- And for what? - Damn, like you give a shit about family! Hank, my cancer is back.
Good.
Rot, you son of a bitch.
I'm sorry you feel that way.
I wanna beat this thing.
I do.
I'm back on chemo, and I am fighting like hell.
But the truth is in six months, you won't have someone to prosecute.
But even-- even if somehow you were able to convince anyone I was capable of doing these things, you and I both know I would never see the inside of a jail cell.
I'm a dying man who runs a car wash.
My right hand to God, that is all that I am.
What's the point? Have Skyler bring the kids here, and then we'll talk.
That is not going to happen.
I don't know who you are.
I don't even know who I'm talking to.
If that's true, if you don't know who I am then maybe your best course would be to tread lightly.