Comic Book Men s05e09 Episode Script

I was walking my dogs the other day, and it hit me.
I'm probably at that stage in my life where I would give up reading comics if it meant my dogs could talk to me.
Usually that's referred to as dementia.
Come on, you guys have never wished your pets could talk to you? I got two hamsters.
I don't know if their conversation would be that interesting.
"Ooh, I'm gonna run on the wheel.
"Ooh, I'm gonna eat.
Ooh, I'm gonna sleep now.
Ooh, I'm gonna crawl up this tube now.
" If you let them talk, you might be going away for a while.
He's like, "You guys better shut up.
You don't know nothing!" Help me! Hello, and welcome to another episode of "Comic Book Men," the only show that would buy that for a dollar.
- I'm Kevin Smith.
- Bryan Johnson.
- Walt Flanagan.
- Mike Zapcic.
Ming Chen.
The obvious "RoboCop" reference is out of the way.
What happened this week? Someone brought in some of my most favorite, and, I think, overlooked comic books.
All right, guys, please come again.
- Thank you.
- All right, bye.
- Bye.
- Thank you.
- See you later.
- Bye.
Anthony! - What's up, man? - Anthony! - What's up? What's up? - What's happening, buddy? - What's up, man? - Long time no see.
Where you been? I got something special for you.
Oh, yeah.
What do you got? An era gone by, the best.
Oh, cowboy comics.
Cowboy comics.
I love cowboy comics.
I love anything cowboys.
Movies, TV shows, I love 'em all.
"Johnny Thunder," look at that.
- Look at that cover.
- They're the greatest.
"Ringo Kid," Gil Kane cover.
Hey, I love my superheroes, but I don't care, cowboy comics should still be just as popular today as they were back in the day.
Seriously? What are you laughing at? - You really read these? - Oh, yeah.
- You were riveted by these? - Oh, yeah.
I've never been a fan of the Old West.
I know some people romanticize it, and I'm not saying there has never been a good western.
There have been many good westerns, but unless it's "Back to the Future III," eh I mean, in a world with all that All those great superheroes, like, how can you compare that to western comics, where people are calling each other "varmints" and I think we all give a nod to a certain cowboy who started wearing a mask well before any superheroes did, huh? "Hi-ho, Silver," bitch.
Is that I don't remember the call being that, because then I would be into westerns.
Look at that, punching that guy in the face.
You got a barroom brawl fight.
I know that looks tame compared to, like, you know, Iron Man fighting Ultron or something, but back in the day, this was where it was at, man.
Come on, you had to remember as a kid growing up and watching the Lone Ranger and Tanto.
That was a good show.
I remember watching it and being like, "This is in black and white.
"Where's the color "Batman" show that follows this? Much more exciting.
" I think one of the problems with westerns, just as a genre, is because it's just such a slice of life.
You've got a very limited run.
I mean, it's from like, 1800 to 1899, and that's all you get.
- That's a big that's a giant - That's 100 years.
That's what me and Mike and I'm sure Anthony here, we grew up wanting to be cowboys.
And, I mean, I remember my mom taking me to this theme park.
It was, like, a cowboy-themed amusement park.
Wild West City.
That's that's right.
That's the name of it.
Yep, I remember, it was awesome.
You ready? It's still open.
- It's still open? - Still open! It was amazing.
It looked like You know, it looked like a move set.
I mean, it looked like a small western town, just bustling with people.
Everybody's dressed in character.
Yeah.
You'd be seeing guys like this.
These covers would be coming to life.
Wild West City was in New Jersey? Why didn't my parents ever take me to it? - Oh, you never go to go? - Never.
Oh, man, I feel sorry for you, man, 'cause I remember that was the first time I ever rode a horse.
Um, it was the first time I ever partook in a bank robbery.
There you go.
I've known you for a lot of years.
I think that might be the only time you've ever ridden a horse.
Or taken part in a bank robbery.
Yeah, that as well.
So, I mean, this is a piece right here, number 1.
You know, this one's really in nice shape too, Anthony.
You should give me, like, a buck and a quarter, to tell you the truth.
- Come on.
- Are you serious? I mean, as much as you and I both love the western comic, reality is No one else does.
All right, what are you gonna give me? Uh Would you take 50 for the lot of them? I don't think so.
$75 and you buy me lunch.
How 'bout 65? And a bagel with cream cheese.
Done.
- You got it.
- All right.
Thanks, man.
It's always a pleasure.
Don't be a stranger, man.
Good-bye.
I'm gonna miss 'em.
See you later, Anthony.
See you, fellas.
Be cool, man.
We gotta go to Wild West City.
- Pfft.
- Are you serious? I'm not going there, like running around and stepping in manure.
Going to Wild West City will be like stepping in to a cowboy comic book.
It'll come to life right in front of our eyes.
You'll be able to appreciate the cowboy for what he is, a hero.
So you're in? I I guess I guess I'm in.
Come on, man, show a little more enthusiasm.
Give me a "Yee-haw!" Yee-haw! Come on, give me a little bit more.
Yee-haw! Like that? I have a pretty key "Spider-Man" issue, I wanted to see if you guys would be interested in.
Oh! This set the comic world on fire.
- Hey, how you doing? - Good.
How are you? I have a pretty key "Spider-Man" issue, I wanted to see if you guys would be interested in.
Okay, let's take a look.
"Secret Wars" number 8.
Anytime you see this book, it's gotta be on a wall.
I don't know if you were collecting comics back then.
Were you alive back then? - Yeah.
- I was not.
I didn't think so.
This set the comic world on fire.
Spider-Man changed his costume and went from red and blue to all black, baby.
This is actually the origin of black suit Spider-Man.
That's an alien symbiote that wrapped himself around his body and became his costume.
Well, that would have been my second guess.
What which do you prefer, classic Spider-Man or black costume Spider-Man? - Definitely black costume.
- Why? It's a really cool costume.
It gives him more powers and makes him edgier.
You see, it makes him more sleek, right? - Yeah.
- Dynamic.
The costume wasn't just a costume, right? It kinda changed him a little bit.
- Mm-hmm.
- Mentally, right? Yup! It made him more aggressive, and it could actually change his clothes too, which I would love.
There's some costumes that are instantly iconic and will live forever.
Batman's costume, iconic.
You'll never forget it, man.
Something like Crazy Quilt probably wouldn't make it on.
Yeah.
But you woulda thought Spider-Man's red and blue togs would have been on there forever.
Yeah.
But in '84, they changed it.
I loved it.
Talk about 180.
All the colors gone, and it's just black, and it's so striking.
But what nobody knew is what that black suit would become, the most fan favorite characters of the Marvel Universe, Venom.
Why do people love to see black costumes? Black equals bad-ass.
Black always makes you look slimming too.
It has a slimming effect.
It makes you look thinner.
Is that true or a myth? It's definitely true.
- It's true? - Yeah.
And it's mysterious.
I 'cause I have no fashion sense.
None whatsoever.
Oh, go on.
What do you mean? Look at you pointing when you got the same shirt on.
I have to wear the same thing every day here.
It kills me.
It kills me.
What is it about, um, comic book fandom that everybody wants that issue where he changes the costume, why? 'Cause they're like, "Finally.
Maybe this'll change the game a little bit.
" And it's gonna alter minor things in terms of like, "Oh, I got pockets now," and that's gotta change the story.
Well, no costume changed so big as ditching that heavy, wool, green jacket you used to wear - It's true.
- In hundred-degree weather.
Yeah, that's true, man.
Silent Bob's coat was mine before it was Silent Bob's.
I was like, "I like wearing this in real life, so I'll wear it in the flick.
" And then when I would keep wearing the coat in real life, people would be like, "Ew, do you wear your costumes "from all your movies? Oh, my God!" The book is very, very clean copy.
I mean, there doesn't seem to be any imperfections.
You know, it's so nice and snug in the Mylar, I don't even think I need to take it out.
All right, so what are you looking to get for it? I'm looking for a hundred dollars.
I couldn't I couldn't go that high.
Um, while it's a very key issue, it's not that uncommon though.
So there's a lot of copies out there.
Is there any chance you'd take 50? Um can you do 85? I could do 65.
But it's beautiful.
It is.
That's why I mean, that's why I'm probably paying a little bit more, because I am factoring in that it is gorgeous.
I don't know how you were able to find such a flawless copy.
65? Hmm.
I don't think I could do 65.
- No? - Uh-uh.
All right, understood.
Thanks for bringing it in, though, and good luck.
Thank you guys so much.
Have a great day.
See you later.
Uh, we have some movie memorabilia we think you might be interested in.
That's cool.
Ming, you all right? - Yeah, yeah.
- Check it out, man.
I think I'm all right.
I think I'm okay.
Dude, don't stare directly into the light.
All-time favorite "Spider-Man" artists.
I'm gonna go first.
Todd McFarlane's Spider-Man.
He just found a way to draw Spider-Man in these incredibly dynamic comic book-worthy poses that years later, when they finally made those movies, they would copy and bring to life.
What about you? I gotta go with the guy who created Spider-Man, Steve Ditko.
He captured that spidery Spider-Man.
You know, he was kinda like a creepy-lookin' Spider-Man, but it's one of my favorites.
Nice, man.
What about you, Zap? My favorite was John Byrne.
and you have him interacting with the entire Marvel Universe.
- What about you, Ming? - I'm gonna go with Gil Kane.
- Gil Kane, man! - Yeah! Come on, you don't even know who that is.
Favorite issue that Gil Kane drew of Spider-Man? Uh, all of 'em.
I love all of 'em.
Well done, sir.
- Hey, how you guys doin'? - Good.
Uh, we have some movie memorabilia we think you might be interested in.
Oh, yeah.
This is the Diamond Select Toys Flux Capacitor from "Back to the Future II.
" - Signed by Christopher Lloyd.
- Really? The thing that made time travel possible.
Oh, yeah, I see it.
That's awesome.
That's gotta be life-size, right? - Yeah, it's real size to scale.
- One to one scale.
If you open the front cover here, and then has a knob here, and it actually fluxes.
- Oh, it turns on? - Yeah.
That's cool.
Ming, you all right? - Yeah, yeah, I think I'm - Don't stare at the lights.
Don't stare directly into the light.
I think I'm okay.
Is "Back to the Future" the best time traveling movie franchise? Well, in my opinion, it is.
It's got some competition, though.
- It does.
- "Terminator.
" I was gonna say, "Terminator.
" "Terminator" is a much darker time travel concept than "Back to the Future.
" Yeah, the death of all mankind, versus going forward 30 years in the future, the year 2015.
You know, self-lacing sneakers and hoverboards and jackets that adjusted to your length and height.
I remember as a kid I was like, "Wow, that's so far ahead.
- Like, I'll never" - "I won't even be alive then.
" "Yeah, I wouldn't be alive then, and if I am, we're gonna have flying cars.
" I'm gonna be as rich as Biff.
I love "Back to the Future," man.
But the first movie that captured my imagination about playing with time was "The Land That Time Forgot.
" - Edgar Rice Burroughs, right? - Yes! It was about normal people in their present day and age suddenly encountering dinosaurs.
He did "The Lost World" and "Jurassic Park" long before they did.
I'm gonna go a little bit more obscure, but mine was "Time After Time.
" Oh, it's a great movie, and not obscure, by the way.
- It's not obscure? - No! This is the movie in which H.
G.
Wells, played by Malcolm McDowell, he is chasing Jack the Ripper through time in a time machine that Wells built.
It's an incredibly imaginative story, man.
Every time I bring it up, like at a dinner party, nobody knows what I'm talking about.
Has everyone seen that new "Time After Time" picture yet? So where did you get the, uh, the Christopher Lloyd signature from? So the Christopher Lloyd signature was acquired at a comic-con in south Jersey, about two years ago.
I've heard rumors that they're gonna remake the franchise.
Would you guys be interested in seeing that? Robert Zemeckis recently said that while he is still alive, that will never happen.
You know, I have to think at some point though, it'll it'll happen.
Who's your choice for Marty? Do you even know anybody today? Young actors? Would the Bie Bieber be a choice? He looks kinda like a young Marty McFly, doesn't he? How dare you even suggest it.
- He's not in? - No, God, there'd be a riot.
I'd probably light all my memorabilia on fire and just walk away.
It seems like it's a question that we ask constantly.
Will they remake "Back to the Future"? - Not in our lifetime.
- Why, though? They gotta wait till kids can't remember this movie at all before they're like, "Here's a new Marty McFly.
" 'Cause the rest of us will riot, man.
That is Michael J.
Fox's legacy, and that movie is perfection.
Couldn't he be the new Marty McFly? - Oh, my God.
- So upbeat, so positive.
Just that youthful energy at all times, right? Hanging out with old men in garages.
So why you lookin' to sell it? Well, Paul and I do road trips to go to different conventions, so we would like to take the trip out to Chicago and stop at little comic book stores along the way, - make it a whole week.
- You need some spending money.
Yeah.
What are you looking to get for it? Hoping to get 400.
What you're asking for it is in the area of what I'd be trying to get for it though.
Is there any chance you'd take 200? How about 300? You know, Doc Brown's signature only adds about 50 bucks to the value of the piece.
How 'bout 250? Um, 250.
I mean, that's a nice chunk.
It is.
It is a nice chunk.
You know what, this going away will help us create some new memories.
- So 250.
- 250, all right.
- 250.
- No problem.
$250.
- Thank you very much.
- Thank you, thank you so much.
- Thank you.
- Good luck - Thank you.
- Getting to Chicago.
Good-bye, old friend.
Put this in your left hand, all right? Oh, you don't need those fingers.
Oh! Ooh! Draw! Welcome to the Old West, boys.
In northern New Jersey.
This feels like we've been transported to the 1870's, right? Yeah, stagecoaches.
I see a saloon.
This is all right.
I mean, if Disney were to spend $100 million to add, like, a western section to Walt Disney World, they couldn't even touch the authenticity of this place.
Oh, my God.
Hold on, don't they have a section called Frontierland? - They do.
- And it looks soulless.
Howdy-doody, fellers.
- Howdy.
- Nice day to be a cowboy.
- Yeah? - How'd that sound? - That was legit.
- Hey, man.
Hi-yo.
How you doin', marshal? All right, good.
- How you doin', fellas? - Howdy, guys.
Am I in my element or am I in my element? You're gonna get us shot.
You're showing your weakness.
You're Wally the Wrangler, not Wally the Avuncular Cowboy.
Sounds like a whip.
Oh, check it out.
- Look at this guy.
- That's awesome.
That's not something you see every day.
Ehh! Looks like that Iron Man villain, right? Whiplash? Oh, yeah, look at him go.
All right, so you start talking about whips, I'm back in.
Catwoman has a whip.
Whiplash, Iron Man's villain.
Also had a whip.
- Indiana Jones.
- Also had a whip.
All right, this Wild West City's intriguing me now.
Now I got you, right? Could you tell my ignorant friend here just how cool cowboys are? Could you just give him a little introduction of why cowboys are so cool? Sure.
Oh, now you're about to learn something.
Put this in your left hand, like that.
All right.
And hold it out there.
- I'm moving back.
- All right? Oh! Cowboys wouldn't move.
I got two more cuts in that paper.
- Pick it up.
- Again? You heard him, pick it up! Oh.
Don't drop it, don't drop it, Ming.
- Whoa! - Don't drop it.
One more? Ohh! You're having so much fun with him.
Your turn.
Turn around there.
Oh! Get the heck outta here.
- Come back here.
- No way.
- Come back here, cool cowboy.
- Come on! I wanted to be able to put my 100% faith in Cowboy Bob, but, you know After seeing Ming like, "Oh, oh.
" And after having just met him ten minutes before, one might wanna rethink it.
Okay, boys, you ready to go? Ready.
Okay, we're going through rough territory.
Now, when I went to Wild West City when I was a seven-year-old, one of the moments that's branded onto my brain Nice, pun intended.
Uh, was the stagecoach ride.
There's a couple of desperadoes right there.
Howdy fellas.
Could you imagine if you had to go to work every day - on a stagecoach? - I'd love it.
- Would you? - This would be This is the only way to travel.
You'd have to leave at 4:00 in the morning to get there by 11:00.
Hold that coach right there! - Hold that coach right there! - Hands up! Get those hands up! - Y'all, get on outta there! - Let's go, get on out! - Hands up! - No, no, no, no.
What.
y'all a sweet tooth? Open up that mouth there.
Let me see if you got any gold.
This is feeling a lot like "Deliverance," guys.
- Hey, this guy's got somethin'.
- He looks suspicious.
What do you got? Give it to him.
- I don't have anything.
- He's got something.
- You better hand it on over.
- All I got is - Ooh! - What you got there? We struck rich here.
You better hand them over there, boy.
You're gonna have to fill me full of lead if you want these comics.
They're not in mint condition, look at 'em.
You can take their wedding rings.
You can take their phones, their valuables.
But not the comics.
Is this your lucky day? Do you feel lucky here today? I feel like we're mixin' genres, but yeah.
All right.
They were right in our face, right? It was pretty intimidating.
I mean, I was ready to give 'em almost everything I had.
That's true.
You should be proud of this man.
Held on to his virtue? This is livin', right? Yeah, this is the life.
Yeah, wouldn't you just like to move here? Permanently? You know, can't you just see right over there, over by the saloon, maybe a Secret Stash comic books facade? Secret Stash West? - Ooh.
- Secret Stash Wild West.
Wild West.
This has got no alcohol in it, right? - Hm.
- Nah, you're fine.
Sarsaparilla.
It's good.
Take a sip.
Yeah, all right, now you're a real cowboy.
Yeah.
So I'm hopin' after an afternoon of cowboy livin' Authentic cowboy livin'.
Can you tell me, did I turn you? - It was fun, right? - It was fun.
Yeah, it took a little while, took a little prodding Cattle prodding but I Honestly, it sounds like, aside from the fact that he made a mild mess in the Wild West, you guys went and had a good time.
Oh, and that's all the time we got for this week, pardners.
For "Comic Book Men," I'm Kevin Smith.
- Bryan Johnson.
- Walt Flanagan.
- Mike Zapcic.
- Ming Chen.
Yippee-ki-yay, melon farmers.
Good night.