Drop Dead Diva s05e09 Episode Script
Trust Me
See that aspiring model there? That's me Deb until the day I died.
I thought I'd go straight to heaven, but there was a bit of a mix-up, and I woke up in someone else's body.
So now I'm Jane, a super-busy lawyer with my very own assistant.
I got a new life, a new wardrobe, and the only people who really know what's going on with me are my girlfriend Stacy and my guardian angel, Paul.
I used to think everything happened for a reason.
Whoo! Now, I sure hope I was right.
Drop Dead Diva 5x09 - Trust Me Original air date October 6, 2013 My new partner, your new boss.
Previously on Drop Dead Diva This is not good.
If you two want to kiss each other, have at it.
I know it's not easy to forgive me We'll never get back the way we were.
Grayson.
Oh, my God.
This is amazing.
It's for you.
Look me in the eye and tell me this isn't real.
You deserve someone better than me.
I'm trying to get pregnant, and I'm looking for a sperm donor.
Wow, I never realized how tall he was.
- I want your sperm.
- Wow.
Yeah, I know.
- How dare you? - How dare you? Don't you think it's gonna be a little weird when Owen and I are married and you're raising his child? What? This is about Grayson.
It's always been about Grayson.
I love him, Teri.
Why are you telling me and not him? You need to go to him.
I'm really gonna do this.
- Good night.
- Good night, Jane.
See you tomorrow.
Oh! Hold the elevator, please! Oh, thank you, Grayson.
- Nicole.
- No problem.
So, do you guys have plans tonight? Oh, there is a great documentary on PBS "The history of bangs.
" So whoa! Hey! Whoa! Hello! Grayson? Yeah, hey, this is workplace elevator.
Grayson! Grayson! Hi, I am right here! Wow.
This is this is unbelievable.
Okay.
Okay.
It's fine.
Okay, it's not fine.
Grayson! - Oh, my God! - Jane.
Jane! Wake up, sweetie.
I brought your dress for the benefit.
Oh, thank you.
I was having another Grayson-and-Nicole sex dream.
The one where you're in court? This time, the elevator.
Ever since I saw them kissing, it's all I can think about.
I can't believe I was gonna tell him I loved him and now he's seeing someone else, who works right outside my office.
Maybe the kiss was a harmless peck, like when I kiss my aunt Charleen.
Well, unless you kiss her with your tongue, it's not the same.
And I think they're doing that "secret dating" thing which makes it even worse.
I'm sorry, sweetie.
How are you feeling? Two more days until I can take the pregnancy test.
The suspense is killing me.
Now, if you'll excuse me, Owen left a message and said he needed to speak with me as soon as possible.
Stupid, stupid thing.
Owen.
Hey.
Come here.
Let me help you.
Oh, good.
It's just like tying your shoe, only around your neck.
There you go.
Now you look like one of those cute boys from one direction when they try to look like Justin Timberlake.
Thank you, I think.
- So, you wanted to talk with me? - Yeah.
Uh, Stacy, I've been giving a lot thought to our donor agreement.
I've drawn up an amendment that better defines the relationship I'd like to have with the child.
But please, before you sign it, discuss it with an attorney.
Okay.
Jane, I really admire you for volunteering at shelter house.
It's an amazing organization.
I just give free legal advice.
The woman to admire is Violet Harwood.
She's right over there.
The way I see it, if you're a trust-fund baby, you either become Paris Hilton and make a sex tape or you become Violet Harwood.
She turned her Beverly Hills mansion into a safe house for abused women.
Wow.
Nicole cleans up nice.
Why? Hey, everyone.
I'm sorry I'm late.
Kim made me drop off diapers at her house.
You need to learn how to say "no.
" Okay.
Now that we're all here, I have an announcement.
Even though we all know the firm is in trouble, tonight we act like nothing is wrong.
So you want us to put on our happy faces.
This event is loaded with high-powered lawyers.
If they detect trouble, they'll come after our clients.
Is that a bad thing? I mean, if Parker's gonna sell, why are we trying to save our clients? Because, Grayson, we're not giving up.
Okay.
What's the plan? Right now the plan is to have a good time even if it kills us.
Excuse me.
What are you doing here? Thought I'd schmooze a bit.
There are some big names here at this party who might be interested in bidding on Harrison & Parker.
But just so you know, I'm rooting for you.
Okay, I don't have $4 million to buy out Parker.
Hmm.
That's a shame.
Oh, champagne.
Mmm.
Pigs in a blanket are awesome.
Food of the gods.
If I haven't already said it, you look hot.
Grayson.
I hate to spoil a party with shoptalk, but I need your help.
Judge Sanders, anything I can do.
I've got a criminal case.
Public defender's had a health scare.
I'd like you to step in.
The firm's been pulling back on pro bono while Kim Kaswell's on maternity leave.
You're an officer of the court.
You're going to represent him.
Then I have a new client.
He's in lock-up and expecting you tonight.
You should probably head on over.
With pleasure, Your Honor.
Jane Bingum, we finally meet.
I'm Lester Tuttle.
You're the one who's trying to break up the firm.
I thought you'd be greener, you know, more like the grinch.
- Actually, Jay Parker is.
- Greener? - Trying to sell the firm.
- Ah.
- I'm just the middleman.
- Mm.
And I must say, with your track record, you've certainly enhanced the firm's value.
I'm surprised you haven't been named a partner.
Well, ah there are a lot of factors that go into that.
If Harrison & Parker is kaput, I'm sure you'll have no problem getting another job Well, thank you.
especially since you're no longer preoccupied.
"Preoccupied"? First, you were preoccupied getting married, and now you're preoccupied not getting married.
Whoa.
That's none of your business.
It's all my business.
I value the firm by valuing the assets, and you are a great big asset.
Seriously, I'm surprised you didn't demand to be named partner a long time ago.
Jane.
- Excuse me.
- Sure.
- Hi, Violet.
- You look beautiful.
- Oh, thank you.
So do you.
- Thanks.
Quite a turnout that means lots of donations.
Well, that's some good news.
Why? Is everything okay? I have to appear in front of the Beverly Hills zoning board tomorrow morning.
- Why? - My neighbors.
They've hired a lawyer.
They're complaining about the house.
They say that there's excess noise, too many cars on the street, women coming and going at all hours.
Are their complaints valid? - Not even close.
- Okay.
No, they want to shut us down.
They feel like a house for abused women is hurting their Beverly Hills property values.
So the complaints are just a pretext.
I have 10 women with nowhere to go.
They depend on me.
Violet, why didn't you tell me about this earlier? The hearing just got expedited.
Okay, you know what? I'm gonna say good night, go and bone up on those zoning laws for tomorrow's hearing.
- Thank you.
- Yes.
Now mix, mingle, and make lots of money.
I'll see you in the morning.
Oh! Hold the elevator, please! Oh, thank you, Grayson.
No problem.
Hey.
What are you doing here? It's, uh God, it's after midnight.
I am studying Beverly Hills zoning law.
- What about you? - Hmm.
- Whoa.
Is that scotch? - Mm-hmm.
You hate scotch.
Yeah, well, hoping for a little inspiration.
You're worried about the firm.
I don't have a plan.
If the firm gets sold, people are gonna get fired, and it's my fault.
Your fault? When I took this job, I should have insisted that Parker give up his right to sell.
But I took him at his word that he wanted the place to continue.
I mean, he said the firm was like family and, after being on my own for so many years, I guess I liked the sound of it.
And, Jane, even though I know we're not a couple, I'd be lying if I said I didn't like working together, seeing you every day.
Parker put a deadline on the sale a week from today.
What? That's crazy.
Yeah.
And I can't see a way out.
Anyway I should get back to my office and sleep this off.
- Owen.
- Yeah? I like seeing you every day, too.
Kieran Dinescu, I'm Grayson Kent, your new lawyer.
All right, the criminal complaint says you were unruly on a commercial airplane and were removed by a federal marshal.
I was sitting in the window seat, and the flight attendant asked me to pull up the shade.
I refused, and when she asked me why, I told her it was because I am a vampire.
I am a vampire! Sunlight is deadly.
That's why I needed the shade down.
Okay.
It says you hissed at a flight attendant? That's what vampires do when we're anxious.
When I told her I was a vampire, the lady in front of me started freaking out.
And pretty soon everybody started looking at me.
I got nervous, so I hissed some more.
Come on, dude.
I'm your lawyer.
Quit the act.
- It's not an act.
- All right.
You're being charged with interfering with a flight crew.
That's 10 to 20 years in prison.
Calm down.
You don't have a record, so we can probably chalk this up to a misunderstanding.
I'll get you out on bail.
We'll head to court in the morning.
Do I have to go to court in the daytime? In the sunlight? How about I file a motion to move your trial to night court? Thank you.
Oh! Finally! You're home.
Okay.
Two quarts of fudge ripple.
Honey, did you watch "Marley & me" again? - No, I am freaking out! - Okay.
Oh.
Owen gave me this amendment to our sperm-donor agreement.
He said I should show it to a lawyer.
Okay.
Oh.
Owen doesn't want you to disclose his identity to your child until he or she turns 16.
Yeah, and I'm okay with Owen not wanting any involvement, but if my child wants to know their father's identity, I want to be able to share it.
- Sweetie - No more secrets.
I have kept your secret, and it has been really tough.
I know.
I know.
The problem is you told Owen you only wanted his genetic material, so you might have to honor his request, but Ah! There's a "but.
" I knew you would find a "but.
" But if you don't like this amendment, then the person you should be talking to isn't me.
It's Owen.
Commissioner, all of these women escaped dire circumstances to start a new life at shelter house.
If you shut us down, you won't just be closing a building.
You will be slamming a door in the face of women who desperately need help.
Thank you, Ms.
Bingum.
Mr.
Hart.
The neighbors appreciate Ms.
Harwood's charity work.
But she is running a charity and is therefore subject to stricter zoning ordinances.
I agree.
I've submitted a list of violations, which includes a lack of handicap ramp, soundproofing, adequate fencing.
Frankly, we're just concerned that it's potentially harmful for the residents of shelter house.
- Oh, please! - Violet, it's okay.
We request that shelter house be closed down effective immediately.
These violations are a pretext.
Shelter house is not a commercial establishment.
Ms.
Harwood simply opened her home to women in need.
Well, pretext or not, the regulations still have to be followed.
We're willing to make the necessary changes.
We just need a little time.
- You have 30 days.
- Thank you.
Okay, with the right contractor, we can make that deadline.
I'm sure of it.
I can't afford those fixes.
Last night's event made just enough to keep the lights on.
Uh, I don't mean to be rude, but aren't you really rich? You're the heir to a giant fortune.
My money is in a trust that's controlled by my brother.
I can't touch it without his consent.
But you're a responsible adult.
Yes, but I was a reckless teenager with a serious drug problem when my parents created that trust.
My brother was the responsible one.
He was in law school, newly married, the golden child.
But you've turned your life around.
Surely, your brother can appreciate the work you do.
The last few times I've asked for money for shelter house, he's refused me.
Well, we're gonna ask him again.
And this time, we won't let him say no.
Teri, I need you to file a motion.
- For the vampire case? - How did you know? Bloggers are all over it.
They're calling Kieran the "vampire who couldn't fly," and you're his fancy new lawyer.
So tell me everything.
Does he sleep hanging upside down or in a coffin? Is he kind of like a sparkly vampire like "Twilight" or a spooky nutjob like "Dark Shadows?" Kieran's just an odd kid looking for attention.
Here.
File this motion to move his trial to night court.
He doesn't want to go out in the sunlight.
Of course not.
His skin would burn.
You pulled me out of work to ask for money from the trust? It's important, Bill.
Request denied.
You've already sunk $500,000 into your hobby.
Hobby? Mr.
Harwood, your sister is a saint.
No offense, Ms.
Bingum.
This is a family matter.
I'm not gonna piss away my family legacy on a bunch of freeloaders.
You know, I reviewed your trust expenditures, and recently, you spent $56,000 on a first-class family vacation to the Bahamas.
Now, that sounds like "pissing" to me.
I'm the trustee.
I control the expenses end of story.
Bill, mom and dad wouldn't have given you all the control - if they could see me today.
- You don't know that.
Do you see, Jane? Every bit of my life is controlled by this trust, even this antique watch from our mother.
It's worth $20,000, which could help pay for the work at shelter house, but I can't sell it because, under the trust, I am bound to pass it down to my firstborn daughter on her 18th birthday.
I don't have a daughter.
I can't even have children.
The family put the clause in the trust because they were afraid you were gonna sell family heirlooms to buy drugs.
I haven't done drugs in 20 years! Okay, if you won't release the money, we will have a judge compel you to.
I've already filed for an emergency hearing for this afternoon.
Terrific.
See you in court.
Mr.
Kent, what's it like representing a vampire? No comment.
What are your chances in court? Do you think Kieran's gonna take the stand? I don't discuss legal strategy.
Tell me this.
Has he tried to suck your blood? What? That's ridiculous.
There he is! Kieran! Kieran! Billy Tyner.
Channel 3 news.
As a vampire, what are your biggest concerns heading into trial? What are you doing? What was that? All right.
That's enough.
We're due in court.
Let's go.
You promised me night court.
The judge denied my request.
I'll get the blinds drawn.
Kieran, I want you to know that the vampire community supports you.
- You're the fancy new lawyer? - I guess.
Here's a petition signed by over 50 local vampires.
Can you please give it to the judge and let them that we demand Kieran's charges be dropped? Court doesn't really work that way, but thank you.
Your Honor, Mr.
Harwood cannot deny money to Violet for arbitrary reasons.
My parents, the grantors of the trust, wanted the money protected.
And while that may have been necessary when the trust was established, it's important to look at Violet now a responsible, sober, and glamorous adult.
Even so, my parents never intended the money to be spent on upgrading a homeless shelter.
Ms.
Bingum? Um yes.
The thing is the terms of the trust must evolve with the maturation of the beneficiary.
Hold on.
Ms.
Bingum just argued that "the terms of the trust must evolve.
" She's no longer challenging me, the trustee.
Ms.
Bingum is now challenging the trust itself, and that is a violation of the trust's in terrorem clause.
- What? - Paragraph 37, subsection "B.
" "Any challenge to the trust by a beneficiary" "or someone acting on her behalf causes the beneficiary to lose" "all benefit granted by said trust.
" Ms.
Bingum, Mr.
Harwood is correct.
Did you not see the clause? Well, I I thought the fact pattern would distinguish this case.
There are no fact patterns that void an in terrorem clause.
I'm sorry, but challenging the trust means that Ms.
Harwood is no longer a beneficiary.
Case dismissed.
Uh, what just happened? I'm so sorry, Violet.
I think I just I just lost your inheritance.
You are greedy, selfish, and narrow-minded.
I am embarrassed that you are my brother.
Violet, we need to go.
Do you think mom and dad would approve of how you spend their money? Huh? Everybody knows about the million-dollar condo you bought your mistress.
If that's how you want to play, fine.
You're not just cut off.
I'm going after you under the trust's clawback provisions.
- What are you talking about? - You'll have to pay back every dime you've ever received from the trust.
Okay, this is not over.
We will file an appeal.
Please don't, Jane.
You've done enough already.
Jane! You missed a standard in terrorem clause? That's basic trusts and estate law! I was hoping the judge would understand that I was trying to help a wronged client.
You thought a sitting judge would ignore the law because you were doing the right thing? Okay, when you say it like that it makes me sound like - Violet.
- Stop.
My whole life is shelter house, and I am not about to sell it because of your incompetence.
Listen, I am I am so sorry, and I will figure out a way to undo this.
No, I just spoke with a good lawyer, who said that I can sue you and this firm for malpractice.
- She's filing right now.
- What's going on here? Butt out, Tuttle.
Every penny that I owe the trust and that's around $5 million I will get from this firm.
Violet, please, there's got to be something we can work out.
We can work something out in court.
Owen, it's fine.
We have malpractice insurance.
It's capped at a million, which means that the partners could be on the hook for the remainder.
- Butt out, Tuttle.
- Why are you even still here? As Parker's proxy, I can roam these halls freely.
Jane, you do realize that if we lose, the remaining money comes out of the partners' pockets? Parker is not gonna be happy about this.
Butt out, Tuttle! Owen, I I messed up, but everything is gonna be okay.
Trust me.
Oh! Oh, you want me to trust you? If Kim were here, you'd already be fired.
I will fix this.
And when I do, I want you to make me a partner.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
You need to have your head examined.
Your mistake could bankrupt me.
I am saying, when I can fix my mistake.
Now, I'm gonna go prep my case.
Oh, and you're gonna need to represent me.
So, Ms.
Taylor, you were the flight attendant that had Mr.
Dinescu removed from the plane.
You must have felt that he was a threat? Yes.
He hissed at me.
So, just to be clear, you felt that he was a threat to passenger safety? Yes.
I noticed people staring at him when he boarded the plane.
And, frankly, he weirded me out.
Nothing further, Your Honor.
So, Ms.
Taylor, you thought Kieran was going to bite someone? He was pale, he wore a cloak and a hood up over his head, and he had his arms crossed across his chest like he was laying in a coffin, and So you didn't like the way he looked? Correct.
Do you always remove passengers when you don't like their clothing? Are you the fashion police? He said he was a friggin' vampire.
Did he threaten you or a passenger? - No.
- Did he have a weapon? No.
A flight attendant recently removed a passenger for wearing a "princess bride" T-shirt that read "My name is Inigo Montoya.
" "You killed my father.
Prepare to die.
" Would you call that a threat? I'm not sure.
In that case, the court ruled the flight attendant overstepped her authority.
Now, it's important to be vigilant but not paranoid or vindictive.
I think it's pretty clear the charges against Kieran Dinescu should be dropped.
- Oh, Your Honor - No, I agree with Mr.
Kent.
We're done here.
Mr.
Dinescu, you're free to go.
Congratulations.
What? Vampires don't smile when they get good news? I just got a text from my boss at the zoo.
I've been fired.
He saw me on the news and told me not to come back to work.
- I'm sorry.
- I loved that job.
Is there anything you can do to help? California allows at-will employees to be fired without cause.
How about I call your boss? See if I can work this out.
Ms.
Bingum, do you consider yourself a good lawyer? I do.
You prepare extensively before you go into court? - I try to, yes.
- You try to? So, sometimes you waltz into court unprepared? No, of course not.
But you missed a standard in terrorem clause.
Could it be that maybe you didn't give my client's case enough prep time because you were distracted? I'm not sure what you mean.
It's common knowledge around town that Harrison & Parker is fighting for its life.
I'd find that distracting.
Well, it is upsetting.
I've given my whole life to H&P.
You know, and the people are They're like my family.
And the whole place could just be gone within a week.
That's a lot of pressure on me.
What about your home life? Any distractions there? Nothing stands out.
I don't believe you.
Okay.
Okay.
Uh, my home life.
Let's see.
Oh, well, my best friend is being inseminated by my ex-fiancé, who is also my boss and my lawyer for the purposes of this case.
And while I am totally supportive of that arrangement, it I guess it does affect me in ways that I couldn't foresee.
So, maybe you're a little bit right.
My life is changing on all fronts, and I have no control over any of it.
So if you're asking me if I was distracted Yes, ma'am.
I was distracted.
And I know that that's why you're suing me.
And I'm so sorry.
I am sorry.
Can I go now? I'm ordering a recess.
Ms.
Bingum, I suggest you get some rest.
Hey, boss.
I brought you a magnetic bracelet.
It's supposed to calm you down from traumatic events like car accidents or melting down on the stand.
It wasn't that bad.
I got e-mails from the bailiff and the coffee-cart guy.
They're concerned.
Is that how you practice law here? Behaving like a complete lunatic? Violet's lawyer was really coming at me.
And it didn't help to see your smug face in the gallery.
You were completely unprofessional.
I am not going to let a complete stranger berate me.
I'm gonna go get some air.
Excuse me.
You are a mean, mean man.
And if you expect me to validate your parking now, you are out of luck.
Excuse me.
Grayson.
Kieran called.
Did you speak to his boss? Yes, I did.
The zoo fired him because parents heard about the "freak" who worked in the nighttime animal exhibit.
Kieran's not getting his job back till he stops with the vampire nonsense.
You need to see this.
I found it on YouTube.
Kieran made it a few years ago.
I get it.
I don't play sports or have a lot of friends.
I'm an easy target, but I don't know how much more I can take, so please just stop.
Stop getting in my face.
Stop pushing me around.
Just Would it make you happy if I just went away forever? He sounds like he was going to kill himself.
But instead he pretended to be a vampire to protect himself.
Maybe he thought if people were freaked out by him, they'd leave him alone.
And it worked.
He has no friends, doesn't talk to his family.
Kid's a total loner.
I hate bullies.
But you know who pisses me off even more? The kids who watch and do nothing.
Teri, call the court clerk and get us on the docket A.
S.
A.
P.
I thought you said we didn't have a case for wrongful termination? I don't think we do.
But a kid like Kieran needs to see that other people will fight for him.
Your Honor, I'm bringing an action against the zoo for wrongful termination under the California Fair Employment and Housing Act.
Kieran Dinescu was fired because he is a vampire.
You're contending that vampires are a race? If a native American Irishman had a baby with an Asian-latina, what race would that child be? The truth is, it doesn't matter.
What matters is that child deserves protection.
The distinctions of race exist to protect people who experience the oppression of being a minority.
Vampires are a minority.
And Kieran was discriminated against because of who he is perceived to be.
Mr.
Kent, are you asking that vampires be considered a protected class? Yes, absolutely.
You know what, Your Honor, for the purpose of this litigation, we will stipulate that vampires are a protected class.
We ask only for a brief recess to rethink our argument.
Well, this ought to be something.
Hey.
- Hey.
- Do you have a second? Of course.
Please, sit down.
So, I'm a little confused about this amendment.
If my child wants to know your identity, why would you want to hide it? Stacy, someday I want to have a family of my own.
If your child knows who I am, it could complicate things.
But what if he or she is curious about where they came from? You know, I want to be able to tell them that they've got a really awesome dad.
"Dad.
" See, you said "dad.
" But you didn't get a dad.
You got a sperm donor.
That's what you asked for.
I wrote up the amendment because I I sensed you might be looking for more.
Right.
Okay.
Um okay.
I'm gonna go home and sign the amendment and then I'll bring it back.
Mr.
Dinescu, vampires are sensitive to garlic, correct? If garlic's anywhere near me, I become violently ill.
Would you mind reaching under your chair? What was that? Garlic.
And how are you feeling? Objection.
Badgering.
Your Honor, since we stipulated that vampires are a protected class for the purposes of this hearing, I'm trying to establish whether or not Mr.
Dinescu is a member of the vampire race.
Overruled.
Proceed.
Vampires don't age, correct? You remain the age you were when you became a vampire.
And when did you become a vampire? I was turned about five years ago.
I'd like to enter into evidence exhibit "F," a photo of Kieran Dinescu when he was 15.
Do you think you look older today? I'm not sure.
Let's talk about blood, which you need to survive.
What if I told you that I am a willing victim? So, go ahead, express some fangs, and bite my neck.
- Objection.
Badgering.
- Agreed.
Pull it back, counselor.
Your Honor, vampires are also unable to be seen in mirrors.
Let's see if this holds true for Mr.
Dinescu.
Okay, that's enough.
Do you see your reflection? I said enough! Mr.
Kent, stay calm.
Obviously, Kieran is not a vampire.
He's just a confused young man.
Kieran.
Kieran! Recess, Your Honor? Granted.
- Kieran! - Leave me alone.
Look, that lawyer had no right to harass you like that.
- I can deal with it.
- I want to help you.
Why?! Because you want to feel better about yourself? What's that supposed to mean? Has anyone ever made you feel like a loser? You were probably a jock.
You probably got straight A's and dated a cheerleader.
Kieran, wait.
Look, I can't pretend to know what you've been through, but I know you don't have to be alone.
All these people came to cheer you on.
And as a former jock, I can tell you it feels good to have fans.
And I'm gonna keep fighting to get you your job back.
I don't think your vampire-race argument's gonna work.
Well, I'm like a vampire.
Till you shoot me with a silver bullet, I keep going.
That's a werewolf, but nice try.
I'm putting you back on the stand.
I'm gonna ask the questions.
You're gonna answer "yes" or "no.
" No colorful commentary.
I will be fine.
Calm and professional.
Pardon the interruption.
Tuttle, what do you want? Parker has made a decision about his future with H&P.
- Yes, we're aware he's selling.
- That's old news.
Pursuant to paragraph 12, subsection 4 of the firm's partnership agreement, a founding member has the right to surrender his stake if he is not currently working at the firm.
So now that we're losing a malpractice case, Parker wants to bail before the verdict and leave Kim and I to pay the damages.
Hey, no one said we were gonna lose.
Based on my assessment, you're going to lose.
Hence, Parker's signed notice of surrender, dated today.
Parker's no longer a partner? That's right.
He's cutting his losses.
Adieu, adios, ta-ta.
Oh, and best of luck.
You're going to need it.
So without Parker, we should discuss my partnership.
Partner of what? There's not gonna be a firm.
Owen, like I said, I am going to fix this, and then I'm gonna redecorate that lobby.
- I'm thinking leather sofas.
- You know what? Fine.
Fine.
If you can find a way to get us out of this mess, forget partner.
I'll make you queen.
I have always wanted to be royalty.
Okay, we're due back in court, but first I want to chitchat with that judge.
What are you talking about? Owen, you need to trust me.
Let me get this straight, Ms.
Bingum.
You called us here to argue on behalf of Violet Harwood, who is currently suing you for malpractice? Right.
That's right.
In advocating for Violet, my former client, I believe that the malpractice case against me will be dismissed.
- Do you know what this is about? - No, Your Honor.
At this point, my client has gone rogue.
And are you feeling okay, Ms.
Bingum? Oh, never better.
Violet, please tell the judge about your watch.
Okay.
Um, my mother left this to me in the trust with instructions to pass it on to my firstborn daughter on her 18th birthday, and then to her daughter on her 18th birthday, and so on down the line.
Kind of sounds like a dead hand clause to me.
What's going on here? You know, a dead hand clause prevents dead people from exercising control from the grave, beyond a single generation.
So, for example, your parents cannot require you to give your watch to your firstborn daughter someone who did not exist when they died.
And since such a clause exists, the whole trust is invalid.
You're trying to invalidate the entire trust because of a technicality? Why not? We already know you're a big fan of technicalities.
And what's good for the goose is good for the gander.
And I say we cook this goose.
Your Honor, this is crazy.
Mr.
Harwood, Ms.
Bingum is correct.
The underlying assets shall be distributed 50/50 between the two beneficiaries, you and your sister.
More than enough to fix shelter house.
I assume you want to drop the malpractice suit - against Ms.
Bingum and her firm? - Absolutely.
So ordered.
We are done here.
I should have known you were too smart - to mess up an in terrorem.
- I don't know what you mean.
Oh, come on.
You planned the whole thing out.
- And Violet was in on it.
- Shh! I told you to trust me.
I told you I would fix it.
You knew you could challenge the dead hand clause.
You knew it.
You had the whole thing mapped out.
Well, it wasn't easy.
I had to wait till Tuttle handed over Parker's right of surrender.
But now that Parker's no longer a partner, you don't have to buy him out.
Jane, that breakdown on the stand, that was really convincing.
Acting.
Nice job partner.
Thanks for coming in.
It's good to see you again.
She was number one on the petition.
I called her.
Good.
So, I was looking at your files from the zoo, and I noticed you worked 60 hours a week, but you never got healthcare per the employment manual.
Now, that's a policy violation, so we might be able to compel your boss to rehire you.
No.
I mean, no, thank you.
That's very nice of you, but you can stop fighting.
Seriously, I want to help.
I got a better job.
A guy on the petition owns a veterinary clinic, and he needed help on the graveyard shift.
Twice my hourly rate, plus all the blood I can drink.
Kidding.
She says I need to lighten up.
Well, I'm happy for you.
Both of you.
You realize when Parker finds out we didn't lose the malpractice, he's gonna go ballistic.
That's another reason I'm glad he's in Canada.
Yeah.
Jane, what you said on the stand, about this place feeling like family Again, I was acting.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Still, Parker turned his back on the firm.
His departure had to hurt.
As far as I'm concerned, you stuck it to him.
Oh, after you.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
Whoo! - What is happening? - I called ahead.
Everyone, here's to the second-best-dressed woman at this firm, a toast to my boss, Jane Bingum, our newest partner.
Hear, hear! Thank you.
Play that funky music, white boy.
Um, I'll be right back.
- Partner! - Yes.
I'm so proud of you! Thank you.
And I have some big news, too.
- What? - I'm pregnant.
- You are? - Mm-hmm.
You are.
That's amazing! Thank you.
I have never been happier.
Am I glowing yet? I think you are.
Wait.
What about Owen's amendment? I signed it.
I don't want to bring my child into the world with any kind of conflicts.
You're doing what's best for your baby.
All right, so, I'm gonna go tell Owen the big news and bring him the signed document.
- Okay.
- Okay.
I will see you at home, aunt Jane.
I'm gonna be aunt Jane.
- Wow! - Hey.
- Congratulations, partner.
- Oh, thank you.
Well, and I'm sure you'll make partner yourself in no time.
Uh, so, this isn't easy for me to say to you.
But now that you're a partner, you need to know, per the firm's policy.
Okay, what's going on? I'm dating Nicole.
Oh! Oh! I see.
And per the firm's policy, you needed to tell me that.
Yes.
I mean, you know I had feelings for you, but how much rejection can a guy take, right? Right.
Of course.
Well, I I hope that you and Nicole will will be Uh, I'm sorry.
Excuse me.
Hey.
What's up? Everyone is in there partying, and you're Are you crying? Maybe just a little.
But you just made partner.
Yes.
And that is something the old Jane would have would have really been excited about.
And I am proud, too.
I am.
It's just It's just my life isn't just about my job.
This is about Grayson.
I do not want to talk about Grayson with you.
You just want to keep us apart.
Not true.
I want you to be happy.
Don't the rules say that I shouldn't be with Grayson because he was my soul mate and now I'm Jane and I should move on with this life? I guess.
Yeah, and won't you get in trouble if I don't follow the rules? Maybe.
I don't know.
Look, Jane.
I don't care about the rules.
Life is short.
And if you don't like the rules, then let's make new ones.
You're either a really bad guardian angel or Or a really good friend? Hey.
That is your party in there.
Now, I say I say we go celebrate a former model who just made partner.
That doesn't happen every day.
Okay.
Thank you, Paul.
Yeah.
There you are, Jane.
Here you go, all signed, and I need to tell you Bup, bup.
I've been thinking about our conversation.
And, as the child's mother, I have to respect that you didn't want to sign that amendment because you didn't think it was in the best interest of the child.
That's true, but, see, I I'm still not sure how involved I want to be with the baby.
But If you trust me enough to use my sperm, then I have to trust that we're gonna be able to figure out a way to talk to the kid about who I am, so Oh! Ha! - Okay.
- Okay.
Owen, I'm pregnant.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God! Yeah, I took the test an hour ago.
That's fantastic, Stacy.
Congratulations.
I thought I'd go straight to heaven, but there was a bit of a mix-up, and I woke up in someone else's body.
So now I'm Jane, a super-busy lawyer with my very own assistant.
I got a new life, a new wardrobe, and the only people who really know what's going on with me are my girlfriend Stacy and my guardian angel, Paul.
I used to think everything happened for a reason.
Whoo! Now, I sure hope I was right.
Drop Dead Diva 5x09 - Trust Me Original air date October 6, 2013 My new partner, your new boss.
Previously on Drop Dead Diva This is not good.
If you two want to kiss each other, have at it.
I know it's not easy to forgive me We'll never get back the way we were.
Grayson.
Oh, my God.
This is amazing.
It's for you.
Look me in the eye and tell me this isn't real.
You deserve someone better than me.
I'm trying to get pregnant, and I'm looking for a sperm donor.
Wow, I never realized how tall he was.
- I want your sperm.
- Wow.
Yeah, I know.
- How dare you? - How dare you? Don't you think it's gonna be a little weird when Owen and I are married and you're raising his child? What? This is about Grayson.
It's always been about Grayson.
I love him, Teri.
Why are you telling me and not him? You need to go to him.
I'm really gonna do this.
- Good night.
- Good night, Jane.
See you tomorrow.
Oh! Hold the elevator, please! Oh, thank you, Grayson.
- Nicole.
- No problem.
So, do you guys have plans tonight? Oh, there is a great documentary on PBS "The history of bangs.
" So whoa! Hey! Whoa! Hello! Grayson? Yeah, hey, this is workplace elevator.
Grayson! Grayson! Hi, I am right here! Wow.
This is this is unbelievable.
Okay.
Okay.
It's fine.
Okay, it's not fine.
Grayson! - Oh, my God! - Jane.
Jane! Wake up, sweetie.
I brought your dress for the benefit.
Oh, thank you.
I was having another Grayson-and-Nicole sex dream.
The one where you're in court? This time, the elevator.
Ever since I saw them kissing, it's all I can think about.
I can't believe I was gonna tell him I loved him and now he's seeing someone else, who works right outside my office.
Maybe the kiss was a harmless peck, like when I kiss my aunt Charleen.
Well, unless you kiss her with your tongue, it's not the same.
And I think they're doing that "secret dating" thing which makes it even worse.
I'm sorry, sweetie.
How are you feeling? Two more days until I can take the pregnancy test.
The suspense is killing me.
Now, if you'll excuse me, Owen left a message and said he needed to speak with me as soon as possible.
Stupid, stupid thing.
Owen.
Hey.
Come here.
Let me help you.
Oh, good.
It's just like tying your shoe, only around your neck.
There you go.
Now you look like one of those cute boys from one direction when they try to look like Justin Timberlake.
Thank you, I think.
- So, you wanted to talk with me? - Yeah.
Uh, Stacy, I've been giving a lot thought to our donor agreement.
I've drawn up an amendment that better defines the relationship I'd like to have with the child.
But please, before you sign it, discuss it with an attorney.
Okay.
Jane, I really admire you for volunteering at shelter house.
It's an amazing organization.
I just give free legal advice.
The woman to admire is Violet Harwood.
She's right over there.
The way I see it, if you're a trust-fund baby, you either become Paris Hilton and make a sex tape or you become Violet Harwood.
She turned her Beverly Hills mansion into a safe house for abused women.
Wow.
Nicole cleans up nice.
Why? Hey, everyone.
I'm sorry I'm late.
Kim made me drop off diapers at her house.
You need to learn how to say "no.
" Okay.
Now that we're all here, I have an announcement.
Even though we all know the firm is in trouble, tonight we act like nothing is wrong.
So you want us to put on our happy faces.
This event is loaded with high-powered lawyers.
If they detect trouble, they'll come after our clients.
Is that a bad thing? I mean, if Parker's gonna sell, why are we trying to save our clients? Because, Grayson, we're not giving up.
Okay.
What's the plan? Right now the plan is to have a good time even if it kills us.
Excuse me.
What are you doing here? Thought I'd schmooze a bit.
There are some big names here at this party who might be interested in bidding on Harrison & Parker.
But just so you know, I'm rooting for you.
Okay, I don't have $4 million to buy out Parker.
Hmm.
That's a shame.
Oh, champagne.
Mmm.
Pigs in a blanket are awesome.
Food of the gods.
If I haven't already said it, you look hot.
Grayson.
I hate to spoil a party with shoptalk, but I need your help.
Judge Sanders, anything I can do.
I've got a criminal case.
Public defender's had a health scare.
I'd like you to step in.
The firm's been pulling back on pro bono while Kim Kaswell's on maternity leave.
You're an officer of the court.
You're going to represent him.
Then I have a new client.
He's in lock-up and expecting you tonight.
You should probably head on over.
With pleasure, Your Honor.
Jane Bingum, we finally meet.
I'm Lester Tuttle.
You're the one who's trying to break up the firm.
I thought you'd be greener, you know, more like the grinch.
- Actually, Jay Parker is.
- Greener? - Trying to sell the firm.
- Ah.
- I'm just the middleman.
- Mm.
And I must say, with your track record, you've certainly enhanced the firm's value.
I'm surprised you haven't been named a partner.
Well, ah there are a lot of factors that go into that.
If Harrison & Parker is kaput, I'm sure you'll have no problem getting another job Well, thank you.
especially since you're no longer preoccupied.
"Preoccupied"? First, you were preoccupied getting married, and now you're preoccupied not getting married.
Whoa.
That's none of your business.
It's all my business.
I value the firm by valuing the assets, and you are a great big asset.
Seriously, I'm surprised you didn't demand to be named partner a long time ago.
Jane.
- Excuse me.
- Sure.
- Hi, Violet.
- You look beautiful.
- Oh, thank you.
So do you.
- Thanks.
Quite a turnout that means lots of donations.
Well, that's some good news.
Why? Is everything okay? I have to appear in front of the Beverly Hills zoning board tomorrow morning.
- Why? - My neighbors.
They've hired a lawyer.
They're complaining about the house.
They say that there's excess noise, too many cars on the street, women coming and going at all hours.
Are their complaints valid? - Not even close.
- Okay.
No, they want to shut us down.
They feel like a house for abused women is hurting their Beverly Hills property values.
So the complaints are just a pretext.
I have 10 women with nowhere to go.
They depend on me.
Violet, why didn't you tell me about this earlier? The hearing just got expedited.
Okay, you know what? I'm gonna say good night, go and bone up on those zoning laws for tomorrow's hearing.
- Thank you.
- Yes.
Now mix, mingle, and make lots of money.
I'll see you in the morning.
Oh! Hold the elevator, please! Oh, thank you, Grayson.
No problem.
Hey.
What are you doing here? It's, uh God, it's after midnight.
I am studying Beverly Hills zoning law.
- What about you? - Hmm.
- Whoa.
Is that scotch? - Mm-hmm.
You hate scotch.
Yeah, well, hoping for a little inspiration.
You're worried about the firm.
I don't have a plan.
If the firm gets sold, people are gonna get fired, and it's my fault.
Your fault? When I took this job, I should have insisted that Parker give up his right to sell.
But I took him at his word that he wanted the place to continue.
I mean, he said the firm was like family and, after being on my own for so many years, I guess I liked the sound of it.
And, Jane, even though I know we're not a couple, I'd be lying if I said I didn't like working together, seeing you every day.
Parker put a deadline on the sale a week from today.
What? That's crazy.
Yeah.
And I can't see a way out.
Anyway I should get back to my office and sleep this off.
- Owen.
- Yeah? I like seeing you every day, too.
Kieran Dinescu, I'm Grayson Kent, your new lawyer.
All right, the criminal complaint says you were unruly on a commercial airplane and were removed by a federal marshal.
I was sitting in the window seat, and the flight attendant asked me to pull up the shade.
I refused, and when she asked me why, I told her it was because I am a vampire.
I am a vampire! Sunlight is deadly.
That's why I needed the shade down.
Okay.
It says you hissed at a flight attendant? That's what vampires do when we're anxious.
When I told her I was a vampire, the lady in front of me started freaking out.
And pretty soon everybody started looking at me.
I got nervous, so I hissed some more.
Come on, dude.
I'm your lawyer.
Quit the act.
- It's not an act.
- All right.
You're being charged with interfering with a flight crew.
That's 10 to 20 years in prison.
Calm down.
You don't have a record, so we can probably chalk this up to a misunderstanding.
I'll get you out on bail.
We'll head to court in the morning.
Do I have to go to court in the daytime? In the sunlight? How about I file a motion to move your trial to night court? Thank you.
Oh! Finally! You're home.
Okay.
Two quarts of fudge ripple.
Honey, did you watch "Marley & me" again? - No, I am freaking out! - Okay.
Oh.
Owen gave me this amendment to our sperm-donor agreement.
He said I should show it to a lawyer.
Okay.
Oh.
Owen doesn't want you to disclose his identity to your child until he or she turns 16.
Yeah, and I'm okay with Owen not wanting any involvement, but if my child wants to know their father's identity, I want to be able to share it.
- Sweetie - No more secrets.
I have kept your secret, and it has been really tough.
I know.
I know.
The problem is you told Owen you only wanted his genetic material, so you might have to honor his request, but Ah! There's a "but.
" I knew you would find a "but.
" But if you don't like this amendment, then the person you should be talking to isn't me.
It's Owen.
Commissioner, all of these women escaped dire circumstances to start a new life at shelter house.
If you shut us down, you won't just be closing a building.
You will be slamming a door in the face of women who desperately need help.
Thank you, Ms.
Bingum.
Mr.
Hart.
The neighbors appreciate Ms.
Harwood's charity work.
But she is running a charity and is therefore subject to stricter zoning ordinances.
I agree.
I've submitted a list of violations, which includes a lack of handicap ramp, soundproofing, adequate fencing.
Frankly, we're just concerned that it's potentially harmful for the residents of shelter house.
- Oh, please! - Violet, it's okay.
We request that shelter house be closed down effective immediately.
These violations are a pretext.
Shelter house is not a commercial establishment.
Ms.
Harwood simply opened her home to women in need.
Well, pretext or not, the regulations still have to be followed.
We're willing to make the necessary changes.
We just need a little time.
- You have 30 days.
- Thank you.
Okay, with the right contractor, we can make that deadline.
I'm sure of it.
I can't afford those fixes.
Last night's event made just enough to keep the lights on.
Uh, I don't mean to be rude, but aren't you really rich? You're the heir to a giant fortune.
My money is in a trust that's controlled by my brother.
I can't touch it without his consent.
But you're a responsible adult.
Yes, but I was a reckless teenager with a serious drug problem when my parents created that trust.
My brother was the responsible one.
He was in law school, newly married, the golden child.
But you've turned your life around.
Surely, your brother can appreciate the work you do.
The last few times I've asked for money for shelter house, he's refused me.
Well, we're gonna ask him again.
And this time, we won't let him say no.
Teri, I need you to file a motion.
- For the vampire case? - How did you know? Bloggers are all over it.
They're calling Kieran the "vampire who couldn't fly," and you're his fancy new lawyer.
So tell me everything.
Does he sleep hanging upside down or in a coffin? Is he kind of like a sparkly vampire like "Twilight" or a spooky nutjob like "Dark Shadows?" Kieran's just an odd kid looking for attention.
Here.
File this motion to move his trial to night court.
He doesn't want to go out in the sunlight.
Of course not.
His skin would burn.
You pulled me out of work to ask for money from the trust? It's important, Bill.
Request denied.
You've already sunk $500,000 into your hobby.
Hobby? Mr.
Harwood, your sister is a saint.
No offense, Ms.
Bingum.
This is a family matter.
I'm not gonna piss away my family legacy on a bunch of freeloaders.
You know, I reviewed your trust expenditures, and recently, you spent $56,000 on a first-class family vacation to the Bahamas.
Now, that sounds like "pissing" to me.
I'm the trustee.
I control the expenses end of story.
Bill, mom and dad wouldn't have given you all the control - if they could see me today.
- You don't know that.
Do you see, Jane? Every bit of my life is controlled by this trust, even this antique watch from our mother.
It's worth $20,000, which could help pay for the work at shelter house, but I can't sell it because, under the trust, I am bound to pass it down to my firstborn daughter on her 18th birthday.
I don't have a daughter.
I can't even have children.
The family put the clause in the trust because they were afraid you were gonna sell family heirlooms to buy drugs.
I haven't done drugs in 20 years! Okay, if you won't release the money, we will have a judge compel you to.
I've already filed for an emergency hearing for this afternoon.
Terrific.
See you in court.
Mr.
Kent, what's it like representing a vampire? No comment.
What are your chances in court? Do you think Kieran's gonna take the stand? I don't discuss legal strategy.
Tell me this.
Has he tried to suck your blood? What? That's ridiculous.
There he is! Kieran! Kieran! Billy Tyner.
Channel 3 news.
As a vampire, what are your biggest concerns heading into trial? What are you doing? What was that? All right.
That's enough.
We're due in court.
Let's go.
You promised me night court.
The judge denied my request.
I'll get the blinds drawn.
Kieran, I want you to know that the vampire community supports you.
- You're the fancy new lawyer? - I guess.
Here's a petition signed by over 50 local vampires.
Can you please give it to the judge and let them that we demand Kieran's charges be dropped? Court doesn't really work that way, but thank you.
Your Honor, Mr.
Harwood cannot deny money to Violet for arbitrary reasons.
My parents, the grantors of the trust, wanted the money protected.
And while that may have been necessary when the trust was established, it's important to look at Violet now a responsible, sober, and glamorous adult.
Even so, my parents never intended the money to be spent on upgrading a homeless shelter.
Ms.
Bingum? Um yes.
The thing is the terms of the trust must evolve with the maturation of the beneficiary.
Hold on.
Ms.
Bingum just argued that "the terms of the trust must evolve.
" She's no longer challenging me, the trustee.
Ms.
Bingum is now challenging the trust itself, and that is a violation of the trust's in terrorem clause.
- What? - Paragraph 37, subsection "B.
" "Any challenge to the trust by a beneficiary" "or someone acting on her behalf causes the beneficiary to lose" "all benefit granted by said trust.
" Ms.
Bingum, Mr.
Harwood is correct.
Did you not see the clause? Well, I I thought the fact pattern would distinguish this case.
There are no fact patterns that void an in terrorem clause.
I'm sorry, but challenging the trust means that Ms.
Harwood is no longer a beneficiary.
Case dismissed.
Uh, what just happened? I'm so sorry, Violet.
I think I just I just lost your inheritance.
You are greedy, selfish, and narrow-minded.
I am embarrassed that you are my brother.
Violet, we need to go.
Do you think mom and dad would approve of how you spend their money? Huh? Everybody knows about the million-dollar condo you bought your mistress.
If that's how you want to play, fine.
You're not just cut off.
I'm going after you under the trust's clawback provisions.
- What are you talking about? - You'll have to pay back every dime you've ever received from the trust.
Okay, this is not over.
We will file an appeal.
Please don't, Jane.
You've done enough already.
Jane! You missed a standard in terrorem clause? That's basic trusts and estate law! I was hoping the judge would understand that I was trying to help a wronged client.
You thought a sitting judge would ignore the law because you were doing the right thing? Okay, when you say it like that it makes me sound like - Violet.
- Stop.
My whole life is shelter house, and I am not about to sell it because of your incompetence.
Listen, I am I am so sorry, and I will figure out a way to undo this.
No, I just spoke with a good lawyer, who said that I can sue you and this firm for malpractice.
- She's filing right now.
- What's going on here? Butt out, Tuttle.
Every penny that I owe the trust and that's around $5 million I will get from this firm.
Violet, please, there's got to be something we can work out.
We can work something out in court.
Owen, it's fine.
We have malpractice insurance.
It's capped at a million, which means that the partners could be on the hook for the remainder.
- Butt out, Tuttle.
- Why are you even still here? As Parker's proxy, I can roam these halls freely.
Jane, you do realize that if we lose, the remaining money comes out of the partners' pockets? Parker is not gonna be happy about this.
Butt out, Tuttle! Owen, I I messed up, but everything is gonna be okay.
Trust me.
Oh! Oh, you want me to trust you? If Kim were here, you'd already be fired.
I will fix this.
And when I do, I want you to make me a partner.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
You need to have your head examined.
Your mistake could bankrupt me.
I am saying, when I can fix my mistake.
Now, I'm gonna go prep my case.
Oh, and you're gonna need to represent me.
So, Ms.
Taylor, you were the flight attendant that had Mr.
Dinescu removed from the plane.
You must have felt that he was a threat? Yes.
He hissed at me.
So, just to be clear, you felt that he was a threat to passenger safety? Yes.
I noticed people staring at him when he boarded the plane.
And, frankly, he weirded me out.
Nothing further, Your Honor.
So, Ms.
Taylor, you thought Kieran was going to bite someone? He was pale, he wore a cloak and a hood up over his head, and he had his arms crossed across his chest like he was laying in a coffin, and So you didn't like the way he looked? Correct.
Do you always remove passengers when you don't like their clothing? Are you the fashion police? He said he was a friggin' vampire.
Did he threaten you or a passenger? - No.
- Did he have a weapon? No.
A flight attendant recently removed a passenger for wearing a "princess bride" T-shirt that read "My name is Inigo Montoya.
" "You killed my father.
Prepare to die.
" Would you call that a threat? I'm not sure.
In that case, the court ruled the flight attendant overstepped her authority.
Now, it's important to be vigilant but not paranoid or vindictive.
I think it's pretty clear the charges against Kieran Dinescu should be dropped.
- Oh, Your Honor - No, I agree with Mr.
Kent.
We're done here.
Mr.
Dinescu, you're free to go.
Congratulations.
What? Vampires don't smile when they get good news? I just got a text from my boss at the zoo.
I've been fired.
He saw me on the news and told me not to come back to work.
- I'm sorry.
- I loved that job.
Is there anything you can do to help? California allows at-will employees to be fired without cause.
How about I call your boss? See if I can work this out.
Ms.
Bingum, do you consider yourself a good lawyer? I do.
You prepare extensively before you go into court? - I try to, yes.
- You try to? So, sometimes you waltz into court unprepared? No, of course not.
But you missed a standard in terrorem clause.
Could it be that maybe you didn't give my client's case enough prep time because you were distracted? I'm not sure what you mean.
It's common knowledge around town that Harrison & Parker is fighting for its life.
I'd find that distracting.
Well, it is upsetting.
I've given my whole life to H&P.
You know, and the people are They're like my family.
And the whole place could just be gone within a week.
That's a lot of pressure on me.
What about your home life? Any distractions there? Nothing stands out.
I don't believe you.
Okay.
Okay.
Uh, my home life.
Let's see.
Oh, well, my best friend is being inseminated by my ex-fiancé, who is also my boss and my lawyer for the purposes of this case.
And while I am totally supportive of that arrangement, it I guess it does affect me in ways that I couldn't foresee.
So, maybe you're a little bit right.
My life is changing on all fronts, and I have no control over any of it.
So if you're asking me if I was distracted Yes, ma'am.
I was distracted.
And I know that that's why you're suing me.
And I'm so sorry.
I am sorry.
Can I go now? I'm ordering a recess.
Ms.
Bingum, I suggest you get some rest.
Hey, boss.
I brought you a magnetic bracelet.
It's supposed to calm you down from traumatic events like car accidents or melting down on the stand.
It wasn't that bad.
I got e-mails from the bailiff and the coffee-cart guy.
They're concerned.
Is that how you practice law here? Behaving like a complete lunatic? Violet's lawyer was really coming at me.
And it didn't help to see your smug face in the gallery.
You were completely unprofessional.
I am not going to let a complete stranger berate me.
I'm gonna go get some air.
Excuse me.
You are a mean, mean man.
And if you expect me to validate your parking now, you are out of luck.
Excuse me.
Grayson.
Kieran called.
Did you speak to his boss? Yes, I did.
The zoo fired him because parents heard about the "freak" who worked in the nighttime animal exhibit.
Kieran's not getting his job back till he stops with the vampire nonsense.
You need to see this.
I found it on YouTube.
Kieran made it a few years ago.
I get it.
I don't play sports or have a lot of friends.
I'm an easy target, but I don't know how much more I can take, so please just stop.
Stop getting in my face.
Stop pushing me around.
Just Would it make you happy if I just went away forever? He sounds like he was going to kill himself.
But instead he pretended to be a vampire to protect himself.
Maybe he thought if people were freaked out by him, they'd leave him alone.
And it worked.
He has no friends, doesn't talk to his family.
Kid's a total loner.
I hate bullies.
But you know who pisses me off even more? The kids who watch and do nothing.
Teri, call the court clerk and get us on the docket A.
S.
A.
P.
I thought you said we didn't have a case for wrongful termination? I don't think we do.
But a kid like Kieran needs to see that other people will fight for him.
Your Honor, I'm bringing an action against the zoo for wrongful termination under the California Fair Employment and Housing Act.
Kieran Dinescu was fired because he is a vampire.
You're contending that vampires are a race? If a native American Irishman had a baby with an Asian-latina, what race would that child be? The truth is, it doesn't matter.
What matters is that child deserves protection.
The distinctions of race exist to protect people who experience the oppression of being a minority.
Vampires are a minority.
And Kieran was discriminated against because of who he is perceived to be.
Mr.
Kent, are you asking that vampires be considered a protected class? Yes, absolutely.
You know what, Your Honor, for the purpose of this litigation, we will stipulate that vampires are a protected class.
We ask only for a brief recess to rethink our argument.
Well, this ought to be something.
Hey.
- Hey.
- Do you have a second? Of course.
Please, sit down.
So, I'm a little confused about this amendment.
If my child wants to know your identity, why would you want to hide it? Stacy, someday I want to have a family of my own.
If your child knows who I am, it could complicate things.
But what if he or she is curious about where they came from? You know, I want to be able to tell them that they've got a really awesome dad.
"Dad.
" See, you said "dad.
" But you didn't get a dad.
You got a sperm donor.
That's what you asked for.
I wrote up the amendment because I I sensed you might be looking for more.
Right.
Okay.
Um okay.
I'm gonna go home and sign the amendment and then I'll bring it back.
Mr.
Dinescu, vampires are sensitive to garlic, correct? If garlic's anywhere near me, I become violently ill.
Would you mind reaching under your chair? What was that? Garlic.
And how are you feeling? Objection.
Badgering.
Your Honor, since we stipulated that vampires are a protected class for the purposes of this hearing, I'm trying to establish whether or not Mr.
Dinescu is a member of the vampire race.
Overruled.
Proceed.
Vampires don't age, correct? You remain the age you were when you became a vampire.
And when did you become a vampire? I was turned about five years ago.
I'd like to enter into evidence exhibit "F," a photo of Kieran Dinescu when he was 15.
Do you think you look older today? I'm not sure.
Let's talk about blood, which you need to survive.
What if I told you that I am a willing victim? So, go ahead, express some fangs, and bite my neck.
- Objection.
Badgering.
- Agreed.
Pull it back, counselor.
Your Honor, vampires are also unable to be seen in mirrors.
Let's see if this holds true for Mr.
Dinescu.
Okay, that's enough.
Do you see your reflection? I said enough! Mr.
Kent, stay calm.
Obviously, Kieran is not a vampire.
He's just a confused young man.
Kieran.
Kieran! Recess, Your Honor? Granted.
- Kieran! - Leave me alone.
Look, that lawyer had no right to harass you like that.
- I can deal with it.
- I want to help you.
Why?! Because you want to feel better about yourself? What's that supposed to mean? Has anyone ever made you feel like a loser? You were probably a jock.
You probably got straight A's and dated a cheerleader.
Kieran, wait.
Look, I can't pretend to know what you've been through, but I know you don't have to be alone.
All these people came to cheer you on.
And as a former jock, I can tell you it feels good to have fans.
And I'm gonna keep fighting to get you your job back.
I don't think your vampire-race argument's gonna work.
Well, I'm like a vampire.
Till you shoot me with a silver bullet, I keep going.
That's a werewolf, but nice try.
I'm putting you back on the stand.
I'm gonna ask the questions.
You're gonna answer "yes" or "no.
" No colorful commentary.
I will be fine.
Calm and professional.
Pardon the interruption.
Tuttle, what do you want? Parker has made a decision about his future with H&P.
- Yes, we're aware he's selling.
- That's old news.
Pursuant to paragraph 12, subsection 4 of the firm's partnership agreement, a founding member has the right to surrender his stake if he is not currently working at the firm.
So now that we're losing a malpractice case, Parker wants to bail before the verdict and leave Kim and I to pay the damages.
Hey, no one said we were gonna lose.
Based on my assessment, you're going to lose.
Hence, Parker's signed notice of surrender, dated today.
Parker's no longer a partner? That's right.
He's cutting his losses.
Adieu, adios, ta-ta.
Oh, and best of luck.
You're going to need it.
So without Parker, we should discuss my partnership.
Partner of what? There's not gonna be a firm.
Owen, like I said, I am going to fix this, and then I'm gonna redecorate that lobby.
- I'm thinking leather sofas.
- You know what? Fine.
Fine.
If you can find a way to get us out of this mess, forget partner.
I'll make you queen.
I have always wanted to be royalty.
Okay, we're due back in court, but first I want to chitchat with that judge.
What are you talking about? Owen, you need to trust me.
Let me get this straight, Ms.
Bingum.
You called us here to argue on behalf of Violet Harwood, who is currently suing you for malpractice? Right.
That's right.
In advocating for Violet, my former client, I believe that the malpractice case against me will be dismissed.
- Do you know what this is about? - No, Your Honor.
At this point, my client has gone rogue.
And are you feeling okay, Ms.
Bingum? Oh, never better.
Violet, please tell the judge about your watch.
Okay.
Um, my mother left this to me in the trust with instructions to pass it on to my firstborn daughter on her 18th birthday, and then to her daughter on her 18th birthday, and so on down the line.
Kind of sounds like a dead hand clause to me.
What's going on here? You know, a dead hand clause prevents dead people from exercising control from the grave, beyond a single generation.
So, for example, your parents cannot require you to give your watch to your firstborn daughter someone who did not exist when they died.
And since such a clause exists, the whole trust is invalid.
You're trying to invalidate the entire trust because of a technicality? Why not? We already know you're a big fan of technicalities.
And what's good for the goose is good for the gander.
And I say we cook this goose.
Your Honor, this is crazy.
Mr.
Harwood, Ms.
Bingum is correct.
The underlying assets shall be distributed 50/50 between the two beneficiaries, you and your sister.
More than enough to fix shelter house.
I assume you want to drop the malpractice suit - against Ms.
Bingum and her firm? - Absolutely.
So ordered.
We are done here.
I should have known you were too smart - to mess up an in terrorem.
- I don't know what you mean.
Oh, come on.
You planned the whole thing out.
- And Violet was in on it.
- Shh! I told you to trust me.
I told you I would fix it.
You knew you could challenge the dead hand clause.
You knew it.
You had the whole thing mapped out.
Well, it wasn't easy.
I had to wait till Tuttle handed over Parker's right of surrender.
But now that Parker's no longer a partner, you don't have to buy him out.
Jane, that breakdown on the stand, that was really convincing.
Acting.
Nice job partner.
Thanks for coming in.
It's good to see you again.
She was number one on the petition.
I called her.
Good.
So, I was looking at your files from the zoo, and I noticed you worked 60 hours a week, but you never got healthcare per the employment manual.
Now, that's a policy violation, so we might be able to compel your boss to rehire you.
No.
I mean, no, thank you.
That's very nice of you, but you can stop fighting.
Seriously, I want to help.
I got a better job.
A guy on the petition owns a veterinary clinic, and he needed help on the graveyard shift.
Twice my hourly rate, plus all the blood I can drink.
Kidding.
She says I need to lighten up.
Well, I'm happy for you.
Both of you.
You realize when Parker finds out we didn't lose the malpractice, he's gonna go ballistic.
That's another reason I'm glad he's in Canada.
Yeah.
Jane, what you said on the stand, about this place feeling like family Again, I was acting.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Still, Parker turned his back on the firm.
His departure had to hurt.
As far as I'm concerned, you stuck it to him.
Oh, after you.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
Whoo! - What is happening? - I called ahead.
Everyone, here's to the second-best-dressed woman at this firm, a toast to my boss, Jane Bingum, our newest partner.
Hear, hear! Thank you.
Play that funky music, white boy.
Um, I'll be right back.
- Partner! - Yes.
I'm so proud of you! Thank you.
And I have some big news, too.
- What? - I'm pregnant.
- You are? - Mm-hmm.
You are.
That's amazing! Thank you.
I have never been happier.
Am I glowing yet? I think you are.
Wait.
What about Owen's amendment? I signed it.
I don't want to bring my child into the world with any kind of conflicts.
You're doing what's best for your baby.
All right, so, I'm gonna go tell Owen the big news and bring him the signed document.
- Okay.
- Okay.
I will see you at home, aunt Jane.
I'm gonna be aunt Jane.
- Wow! - Hey.
- Congratulations, partner.
- Oh, thank you.
Well, and I'm sure you'll make partner yourself in no time.
Uh, so, this isn't easy for me to say to you.
But now that you're a partner, you need to know, per the firm's policy.
Okay, what's going on? I'm dating Nicole.
Oh! Oh! I see.
And per the firm's policy, you needed to tell me that.
Yes.
I mean, you know I had feelings for you, but how much rejection can a guy take, right? Right.
Of course.
Well, I I hope that you and Nicole will will be Uh, I'm sorry.
Excuse me.
Hey.
What's up? Everyone is in there partying, and you're Are you crying? Maybe just a little.
But you just made partner.
Yes.
And that is something the old Jane would have would have really been excited about.
And I am proud, too.
I am.
It's just It's just my life isn't just about my job.
This is about Grayson.
I do not want to talk about Grayson with you.
You just want to keep us apart.
Not true.
I want you to be happy.
Don't the rules say that I shouldn't be with Grayson because he was my soul mate and now I'm Jane and I should move on with this life? I guess.
Yeah, and won't you get in trouble if I don't follow the rules? Maybe.
I don't know.
Look, Jane.
I don't care about the rules.
Life is short.
And if you don't like the rules, then let's make new ones.
You're either a really bad guardian angel or Or a really good friend? Hey.
That is your party in there.
Now, I say I say we go celebrate a former model who just made partner.
That doesn't happen every day.
Okay.
Thank you, Paul.
Yeah.
There you are, Jane.
Here you go, all signed, and I need to tell you Bup, bup.
I've been thinking about our conversation.
And, as the child's mother, I have to respect that you didn't want to sign that amendment because you didn't think it was in the best interest of the child.
That's true, but, see, I I'm still not sure how involved I want to be with the baby.
But If you trust me enough to use my sperm, then I have to trust that we're gonna be able to figure out a way to talk to the kid about who I am, so Oh! Ha! - Okay.
- Okay.
Owen, I'm pregnant.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God! Yeah, I took the test an hour ago.
That's fantastic, Stacy.
Congratulations.