Las Vegas s05e09 Episode Script
My Uncle's a Gas
Previously on Las Vegas I'm A.
J.
Cooper, and I just bought the place.
Big job lines up nicely for you when you say it.
Some of you'll stay And some of you will go.
Sam, you were kidnapped then shuttled onto a jet witch the kidnapper flew out of! You killed a man on that plane? What, do you think I came here 'cause I'm afraid to fly? You're Delinda! And you're having Danny's baby! This "becoming-A-Dad thing" is gonna come with some perks.
- Piper Nielsen.
- Oh, strong handshake.
I don't date older guys.
- Congratulations - Danny got the job.
Which means you'd be runnin' surveillance and security.
You're okay? I think I broke a rip! He wasn't asking you butthole! Danny! We need to talk! - I'm a little busy right now! - It's important! Could someone please help me up! Rescued by a beautiful angel! I thought I told you to never come back to the Montecito! Danny! - It's the same at the Bellagio - No.
- Danny! - What? Alvin Bresner is about to border plane back to Moscow he wants his 2 million dollars in chip's cash! Go cash him! We don't have enough money in the cave - to cover it! - Well send some more up! There isn't any because you forgot to sign the bank transfers! You see this it how it works! If you don't sign the transfers there's no cash.
That little bastard just stoled my rings! He's about to go turn he'll blow up my ass, what do you want me to tell him? I don't know! Make something up! Just do not let him no that we're broke! The casino's broke? What do you mean broke? Look There's no reason for concern here okay? You got the money or not? Ed, never would of drop the ball like this! Thanks, Judas! Don't look at me bro! I ain't the President of Operations! Let's get him! Let's explain Hey! What's wrong with you? Why aren't you ansering you're phone I called you three times! - What is going on? - It's Delinda! Dee, what's wrong? - Please! - Just breahe! Danny! The baby is coming! Could somebody get an ambulance! It's on the way! It's to early for the baby! Just st continue to breathe baby! What are you doing? This baby ain't wating for an ambulance, Danny! Do you even know how do deliver a baby? Sure! I've birthed hundred's of cows! What! What! - Danny! - Okay Danny, help me! Ok Delinda, were gonna need a couple of real big pushes! Just push sweety, yeah just keep pushing baby! - Don't talk to me! - Okay, just keep.
push! Push, keep pushing! - Allright this is all you're fault! - I know it's my fault just keep pushing! Come on, push! I can see the head! It's a boy! It's a boy! And he looks just like he's dady! What's up bro? Rise and shine Mc Coy! What time is it? You were supposed to meet me a half hour ago! Yeah I've must of sleept in! How many more night's you're gonna sleep on this couch? Until I get caught up I guess! I'm glad I didn't get the job! Well throw me at my own door mickey? What? What's up bro? My aunt Trudy had dreams like that.
Trudy? Trudy? Oh, Trudy was the, uh She was the one with the mole on her lip? No, that's Edna.
Trudy had the sideburns.
Wow, Mike.
You grow a third nipple, you'll have yourself a circus act.
Yeah, well, Trudy's dreams were no joke.
They were harbingers of doom.
Danny, when I was seven years old, she had this dream that I was lost in a forest.
Two days later, I ran my bike into a tree and broke my arm.
How can you explain that? That it is that dream of yours was a warning.
Bad things are gonna happen.
Yep, I'll tell him.
Danny, that was cynthia at the front desk.
She said the fire inspector's here to see you.
I was expecting him.
The day is young, mi amigo.
Look, I just can't do it, Dee.
I'm sorry.
- But you promised.
- I have meetings with the department heads all afternoon, and the fire inspector just showed up.
We're talking about our baby, Danny.
No, we're talking about a pre-Natal nutrition seminar.
And that's not important? Of course it's important, but so are my responsibilities at the Montecito.
Are you having an affair? Wha is this some kind of a pregnant hormonal thing? You're never home for dinner.
You sleep at the office.
We barely talk I miss you.
I miss you, too.
Dinner at 7:00, can you make it? Yeah, I'll be there.
Bye-Bye.
Bye, you.
I don't want to have to go over this again.
I'm tired of having to explain this every time I Danny boy, how the hell are you? Good, Mr.
Bob Casey.
How you been? Dammit, boy.
Every time I see you, you look more like your father.
God rest his soul.
So what's with the visit? We're not due for an inspection for, like, another six weeks.
You brought this on yourself.
That "anything can happen" campaign violated at least 16 fire codes.
Locking doors for money giveaways, driving cars inside the casino What were you thinking? Just trying to drum up a little attention for the Montecito, that's all.
Yeah? Well, you got it all right.
All the way up to the mayor's office.
My orders were to check the place, top to bottom.
Okay, where do we start? With your valets.
Where do they get off parking in my fire lane? Delinda wants me to go to some pregnant chick lecture with her.
How about it, Mike? Meet a lot of hot chicks.
Mmm, pregnant chicks.
Hey, at least you know they put out.
Wow.
Uh, can't do it, Dee.
Cooper asked me to watch over the palm on a pick-up competition.
They're still at it? There has got to be an easier way to win a truck.
That's Keira Walker Single mother of two from Wichita.
She thinks the big man's gonna help her win the car.
Cooper? God.
Frat boy is Chet Hammond.
He's done 55 shots, one for every hour of the competition.
That's Mandy Hayes.
She's a dancer at the pine cone in Reno.
Whore.
Not her, you.
I'm just being polite.
You get any more polite, you're gonna need a shot of antibiotics in your ass.
Hey, it's homeless guy.
Yeah, that's Stan.
He wouldn't give us his last name.
And last but not least, we got Johnny Hale.
He's from Beulah, Wyoming.
Hey, isn't that where Cooper's from? I think he's from Gillette.
Yeah, well, what's the difference? It's all cut-Off shorts and sleeveless flannel.
He's behind me? I'm gonna go and Opus.
I, uh, personally enjoy a man in cut-Offs and sleeveless flannel.
- Yeah.
- Everything running smoothly, Mike? No problems.
Good.
Let's keep it that way.
That is the hourly bathroom break.
Judges must return to the pick-up at the end of the break to avoid disqualification.
How are you holding up, Johnny? Feet are killing me, Cooper.
Cowboy boots.
Poor choice for an endurance test on the ground.
Yeah, no kiddin'.
Any chance one of your people could grab a pair of tennis shoes from my room? I'm sure Sam would be happy to oblige.
Uh - Hello.
- Hey.
Sweet.
Uh, so, uh, look, along with the tennis shoes, sweetheart, there's gonna be a couple other things I'm gonna need.
Look, I know you think I'm busting your balls.
Back when your old man and I were your age, no one gave a damn about a couple of broken sprinkler heads.
All that changed with the old MGM fire.
Hold on one second.
Yeah.
Hey, Danny, we've got a problem at Opus.
Delinda? No.
She's fine.
But I think you'd better get over here.
All right, I'll be there right away.
I'll be right back.
- Make it quick.
- Yes.
If you foreigners don't like our country, then get the hell out! Who you calling a foreigner? I'm from San Jose, douche-Bag! Okay, okay, guys.
Punk! Mr.
Faraz and Mr.
Kennedy were having a drink at the bar.
They started to argue, then things got physical.
I was about to toss 'em both out, but Kennedy claims he knows you.
- Who threw the first punch? - Kennedy.
Uh, I'm Danny McCoy, President of operations here at the Montecito.
I do apologize for any inconvenience.
We'll obviously set you up with a suite at our expense, of course, okay? - Thank you very much.
- Okay, okay.
Right this way, sir.
What about him? Let him go.
He's my uncle.
How long has it been, Danny? - 25, actually.
- That long, huh? Time flies when you're chugging jack and busting heads.
You got that right.
Hey, listen, about that guy.
He was making disparaging remarks about our troops.
I'm sure you would have done the same thing, huh? Probably use one of those wrestling choke holds - I taught you.
- No, I've actually learned how to control my temper.
Hey, lighten up, kid.
I'm just trying to have some fun with you.
Why are you here? I just got back into town.
I heard you were running things at the Montecito.
Thought I'd come by, check it out.
Well, I'd be more than happy to arrange a tour for you, if you'd like.
What's the matter? You too much of a big-Shot to show your old uncle around? I'm not drinking anymore, Danny.
I've been clean and sober for over two years now.
Good to know.
Look, I was hoping that maybe we could sit down, you know, catch up a little.
You know, I've actually got a lot of stuff to do.
Maybe we could do it again in another 25 years? The evidence is right in front of you.
My dream was not a premonition, Mike.
I beg to differ.
Exhibit a.
Fire inspector Casey shows up for a surprise inspection.
We were due for an inspection.
In six weeks.
Ah, thought I didn't know, huh? So he showed up a little early.
It doesn't mean anything.
You're forgetting exhibit "b" your uncle Luke.
You haven't heard from the guy in, like, 25 years, and he suddenly shows up out of the blue.
Goose bumps, buddy.
You see that? - It's bad timing.
- It's spooky is what What good is a fire extinguisher if it's half empty, Mike? Is that a trick question? I'll get it filled.
- You do that.
- Yeah, please.
Next up back offices and spa.
Let's go.
Do me a favor and run a background check on my uncle Luke, will you? You think he's up to something? Just just just run it.
Don't be afraid of your gift, Danny boy.
I saw it, I saw it! - Like hell you did! - Like hell I did! You're going home, frat boy.
What's going on here? Chet was staring down Mandy's shirt and his hand came off.
No way, dude.
Did anyone else see it? You can look down my shirt anytime you'd like.
Hey, who are you gonna believe? Mitch, run playback on camera 1-6-3.
What am I looking for? Did chet's hand come off the car? Off like a prom dress.
You're out, bro-Seph.
And we're down to only four contestants Adios, junior.
In the pick-up contest, the ultimate endurance test.
What are you doing, Sam? Put it right around here.
Uh, well, Johnny can't miss his favorite tv show, golden girls.
Oh, gotta love that blanche.
What? My mother liked it.
Come on, shake a leg, sugar pants.
The damn show's about to start, babe.
That's funny.
I'm gonna kill him.
Danny, you are never going to believe what I found.
Adorable, huh? Yeah, adorable.
You never said anything about a baby.
It's because I haven't gotten around to it yet.
Bob Casey, Delinda Deline.
Congratulations, Delinda.
I wish you and your baby a long and healthy life.
Thank you.
Well, I'll let you two get back to work.
I'll see you at 7:00.
Dee, Dee, baby, uh About dinner, I Don't say it, Danny.
I'm tired of eating alone.
I know, I know, but my day hasn't exactly gone as planned, okay? I've got this surprise inspection, I slept through half of my meetings, and my uncle Luke just showed up out of nowhere.
You didn't tell me you had an uncle.
Well, there's not much to tell.
He's my mom's little brother, and he wasn't around very much, so Is he staying here? I think so, yeah.
Well, what do you mean, you "think so"? - This is your uncle we're talking about.
- I haven't seen or heard from the guy since I was seven years old.
He's like a stranger to me.
Baby, I gotta run.
- But, Danny.
We need to talk about this - I know, we'll talk about it later.
- Okay.
- Okay, bye-Bye.
Hey, what's up with the shake? I don't want to talk about it.
He does realize I have better things to do with my time, right? Who? I said I don't want to talk about it.
Okay.
All right, there's three whales who need my attention, guys who actually spend money, and instead he has me baby-Sitting some redneck from Texas.
Who exactly are we talking about? Cooper.
- Well, why not just say something? - Let's just drop it, okay? Okay, it's dropped.
There are, like, 30 other casinos in this town who are just chomping at the bit to hire me.
Oh, my god, do you hear me? Look at me.
Two hours with Johnny Hayseed, and I'm already speaking country slang.
Um, you got a little something, um All contestants, you have four minutes left on your break.
What are you doing, Mike? Uh, slot maintenance.
- Really? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This one's good.
Kind of looked to me like you were checking out Mandy.
Mandy? Oh, yeah.
Well, if I was, it was for strictly professional reasons.
Of course.
They're still at it, folks.
Can you believe it? Stick around and see who walks away with a new pick-up.
Well, looks like the break is almost over.
I better check and make sure everyone's doing okay.
- Good idea, Mike.
- Yeah.
Hey, Mandy, how are you holding up? I'm bored, and my feet are killing me.
Well, maybe when this thing is over, I can give you one of my famous Mike cannon foot massages.
I don't want you touching my feet.
Mental note, no feet.
How about a little back shiatsu instead? It's never gonna happen.
Where you been? Here you go.
One chocolate milkshake.
It's extra thick.
Oh, whoa, hey, this is all melted.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
I had a little wardrobe detour.
Yeah, well, you know what? I want a fresh one.
Okay, uh, well, you know what? - I'm just gonna - Hey.
Get after it, sweet cheeks.
- What'do you just call me? - I think you heard what I said.
Hey, you know what? Why don't yeah, I know.
Why don't I just get that milkshake for you, Johnny? That's all right, Mike.
I want, uh, I want Sammy to fetch it for me.
You know what? That's okay, Mike.
I don't mind fetching it.
I like the way you roll.
Will you just hold it for a second? Why don't you just, uh, suck on this.
Until I get back, okay? I'll be right back.
All contestants, this is your one-Minute warning.
So did we pass the big fire inspection? It's not over.
Knockwurst break.
Man's gotta eat, right? Yeah.
So I got that info on your uncle you wanted.
Oh, yeah? What? Yeah, dishonorably discharged from the army almost 20 years ago.
After that, he drifted from place to place.
We found addresses from Alberta to Tallahassee.
- Criminal record? - Yeah, he's got a long rap sheet.
Drunk and disorderly, check forgery.
Anything serious? Well, he did a nickel stint in Arizona for aggravated assault.
All right, toss him.
By the way, he's been clean for the last five years, Danny.
Well, if he's got a record, 86 him.
Look, I know it's none of my business, but he is your uncle.
So? So maybe you can cut the guy a little slack.
You know what? You're right.
It is none of your business.
Find him and throw his ass out.
Next up, decks and patios.
- Great.
The kitchen's good.
- Hey, Danny.
Is that your uncle Luke? Yeah.
I haven't seen him in years.
Man, he looks like hell.
Uh, could you give me a second? Make it quick.
We got a lot of ground to cover.
Okay.
Hi, Danny.
Hey, you.
What are you doing? Uncle Luke and I were just talking about you.
God, Danny, you were such a cute kid.
Danny, you remember when that was taken? That's when we won the little league city championship.
You were so proud of that damn trophy, you wouldn't let anyone touch it.
Even brought it to bed with him that night.
Uh, don't you have a seminar? Yeah, we're gonna go in five minutes.
We? Luke agreed to go with me.
Hey, I think I'm her last hope.
No.
I want you out of my casino.
Danny.
Either you walk out on your own, or I have security escort you to the door.
Come on, come on.
Danny, please, you're embarrassing me.
Take it easy, kid.
Don't tell me to take it easy.
Don't you ever call me a kid.
- Come on.
- What the hell is wrong with you? Can't you see what this guy's doing? He's having lunch with you so that he can get to me.
I invited him, Danny.
You were busy, and I wanted to meet him.
And up until now, we were having a great time.
There are things about my uncle that you don't understand, okay? - Like his criminal record? - Yeah, for one.
He told me all about it.
I don't want you hanging out with the guy.
Why? Because it's complicated.
Look, in case you haven't noticed, we don't have a whole lot of family, and you're always working.
I don't want this baby growing up alone.
The baby isn't gonna grow up alone, Dee, come on.
Luke is your family.
Not to me, he isn't.
Fine, if you don't want to have anything to do with him, that's your choice.
But don't tell me what to do.
How long does it take to drop off laundry? That truck's been there all day.
The guys sometimes grab a bite to eat before they leave.
Well, unless they're eating at every restaurant in the Montecito, - they should be gone by now.
- You want me to have somebody check it out? That's okay.
I'll deal with it.
We've got a problem at the contest, Mike.
- Again? - Uh-Huh.
Tell 'em I'll be right there.
Clear.
All clear.
and there are four contestants still standing.
Stick around to see who will walk away with a new pick-up.
Hey, Mike, Mike, come here.
What's the problem now, Johnny? They're the problem.
What? There's no rule against singing during the competition.
Man, the rules state that no contestant can interfere with another contestant.
And that caterwauling crap is interfering with my concentration.
Come on, man.
Shut 'em down.
Ladies, ladies, ladies, I need you to refrain from singing in the casino.
Do you have a problem with us praising god, Mike? No, no, no, I just have a problem with you doing it so loudly inside the casino.
But maybe the hotel chapel would be a more appropriate place.
Well, what better place than a room full of sinners and lost souls.
Oh, yeah, oh, yeah.
Oh, hallelujah! Wait.
Being morally opposed to what goes on inside a casino, one might ask why you chose to enter a competition that takes place inside one? Well, I got lost looking for the Christian sisterhood convention.
And then god led me to this car.
Hallelujah! this little light of mine I'm gonna let it she, lord this little light of mine I'm gonna let it shine - Make it stop.
- this little light of mine Mm-Mm, no.
let it shine, let it shine, let it shine hide it under a bushel, no I'm gonna let it shine let it shine, let it shine, let it shine Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, Keira.
Yeah? You took your hand off.
- I'm sorry, you're out.
- Really? Reall right Well, I guess it just wasn't meant to be then.
God bless you, Mike.
You too, Keira.
God bless all of you.
We're down to our last three contestants.
Hey! Last man standing gets a new car.
How was the seminar? Informative, thanks.
- Dee.
- Why didn't you tell me about your uncle, Danny? Because I don't talk about him to anyone.
No more secrets, remember? All right, when I was growing up, Luke was always hanging around the house.
He'd show up for dinner, he would maybe spend the night.
As like a older brother.
And then he got into some trouble with a couple of guys over a gambling debt.
They came knocking at the door, mom gave them some money, but it wasn't enough.
Then he started drinking and taking drugs.
And of course mom tried to help him, but after awhile, he just stopped coming by the house anymore.
That must have been hard for her.
Actually, he he he He did show up just after she got sick.
I remember dyelling at him because he'd stolen some money from her purse.
When she died, he didn't even come to the funeral.
I'm so sorry, Danny.
No, it's Well, Danny, I can't pretend to understand how you feel.
But today at lunch, I saw something in Luke's eyes.
- Deep down, I know he cares about you.
- He walked out on my mom.
People make mistakes, Danny, and sometimes you gotta give 'em a chance to make it right.
Look, whatever you do, I'll still love you.
You wanted to see me, Cooper? I did.
If you had to pick a pony in this race, who would it be? Well, I'd give Johnny and Stan about another hour or so before they drop from exhaustion.
Whereas Mandy looks like she could run a marathon.
Her endurance is impressive.
Among other things.
I have noticed that she runs a little hot and cold.
Yeah.
But don't they all? That's the game, right? One minute they're all over you, the next, it's like you got the plague.
Well, I was wondering if there was more to it than that.
Well, I can bring up the footage from their last break.
Good.
Can you isolate on her? Oh, yeah.
Why is she using that bathroom? That's the farthest away from the truck.
Maybe she just likes her privacy.
Freeze it right there.
That woman in the hat and glasses.
- I've seen her before.
- The same woman.
Can we find out where she's going? Not a problem.
Room 2130.
It's registered to Mandy Hayes.
But if she's in the competition, who is this woman? I don't know, but we're gonna find out.
It's not as bad as it looks, Danny.
Most of the infractions are minor.
Oh, well, I'll make sure it's taken care of.
You've got one week.
And tell that new boss of yours, he messes with me again, - I'll personally close this place down.
- I'll be sure to pass it on.
By the way, I think you're doing one helluva good job.
Your old man would've been proud.
Thanks, Bob.
And we're down to only three contestants in the palm-On-A-Pickup contest.
Contestants, that's your five-Minute bathroom break.
Hey, cutie-Pie.
I'm disqualifying you from the competition, Mandy.
But I've had my hand on the car the entire time.
Ah, try 50% of the time.
Mike! What the hell's going on, Cooper? The twins were trading places in the ladies' room on their breaks.
Yeah, while one returned to the car, the other, in disguise, took a nap in their room.
Why don't we forget about this silly little competition, and the three of us go out on the town for some fun? Wow, it's never gonna happen.
Fellas.
You headed back to Reno? Yeah.
Look, Danny Have a safe trip.
Look, I know it was wrong of me to show up here the way I did, but I thought it would be a good thing.
I loved your mother, Danny.
Is that why you walked out on her? That was a long time ago.
Yeah, I still remember how she looked when she was lying there, just calling out your name, wondering where the hell you went.
You were the only family that she had.
I know.
- She needed you.
- I know.
- I needed you.
- I was a drunk, Danny.
And when you're a drunk, nothing else matters but the next drink.
- No, you could've quit.
- I tried.
More than once.
But I wasn't strong enough.
I had to leave.
I had to get away from here.
Listen, I know I should've been there for you and your mother.
And believe me, not a day goes by that I'm not sorry for that.
I can't undo the things I've done, kid.
But I'm willing to start over if you'll let me.
Tell Delinda I said good-Bye.
Wait a second.
I don't know if I believe in second chances, but I know that Delinda does.
And I know that my mother did.
She would've loved Delinda.
So why don't you tell her yourself? If we leave now, we can still make it back for dinner.
You sure? Yeah.
What about your work? Yeah, it'll be here tomorrow.
Come on.
You wanted to see me? I did.
Sit down.
I like to stand.
Johnny wasn't happy about the milkshake.
Too much chocolate sauce? Johnny Hale is a real son of a bitch.
You noticed.
His dad has run my ranch for 20 years, and he's a friend.
You know, Sam, when I ask one of my employees to do something, I expect them to do it.
Yeah.
Mr.
Cooper, I'm sure that your "I'm the big boss" speech works very well with your pit bosses and most of your employees, but, um, my job is a little more sophisticated.
I'm not sure if you're aware of that.
The principle's the same.
My job is to bring whales into this casino and keep them happy.
If they're happy, they're gambling.
Obviously, if they're gambling, they're making you a lot of money.
Do you know how much time I wasted playing wet nurse to your friend Johnny on his quest for some $50,000 truck? Probably cost us ten times that in lost revenue.
People are entitled to be treated with decency and respect, regardless of their bank account.
It's clear we're not gonna see eye-To-Eye on this.
No, we're not.
You know what I'm doing here, Sam? I'm signing paychecks.
The tail doesn't wag the dog.
You're fired.
- I'll clear the things out of my suite.
- Security will escort you to the door.
We'll be happy to forward them to you.
All right, we'll be home in 20 minutes.
Yes, both of us.
All right, I love you too.
All right, table's set for three.
Danny.
Is something wrong? Yeah, look, I need to go to the shop and pick Delinda up those chocolates she loves.
That's not necessary.
Look, I'm not gonna show up to dinner empty-Handed.
Come on, it'll just take a minute.
Come on.
Okay.
- Release the gas.
- Got it.
Do you smell that? Yeah, it smells like oranges.
You hear that? Go, go, go, go, go, go.
Go, go, go, go, go, go! Move, move, move, move, move! Hey, let's go, let's go, let's go! Disabling ventilation.
Hey, Mike, something's going on.
They're gassing the casino! We got four guys on the casino floor in assault gear and gas masks.
Two are heading for the money cage.
I'll have a team down there right away.
No! Nobody else comes to the floor.
So what do you want me to do? I don't know, call the police, or SWAT, or the ambul Danny! Danny! You there? Faster, faster! Danny, wait! Run! What the hell is he doing? [Michael andrews' mad world.]
all around me are familiar faces worn-out places worn-out faces bright and early for the daily races going nowhere going nowhere their tears are filling up their glasses no expression no expression hide my head I want to drown my sorrow no tomorrow no tomorrow and I find it kind of funny I find it kind of sad the dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had I find it hard to tell you I find it hard to take when people run in circles it's a very, very mad world mad world mad world enlarge your world mad world
J.
Cooper, and I just bought the place.
Big job lines up nicely for you when you say it.
Some of you'll stay And some of you will go.
Sam, you were kidnapped then shuttled onto a jet witch the kidnapper flew out of! You killed a man on that plane? What, do you think I came here 'cause I'm afraid to fly? You're Delinda! And you're having Danny's baby! This "becoming-A-Dad thing" is gonna come with some perks.
- Piper Nielsen.
- Oh, strong handshake.
I don't date older guys.
- Congratulations - Danny got the job.
Which means you'd be runnin' surveillance and security.
You're okay? I think I broke a rip! He wasn't asking you butthole! Danny! We need to talk! - I'm a little busy right now! - It's important! Could someone please help me up! Rescued by a beautiful angel! I thought I told you to never come back to the Montecito! Danny! - It's the same at the Bellagio - No.
- Danny! - What? Alvin Bresner is about to border plane back to Moscow he wants his 2 million dollars in chip's cash! Go cash him! We don't have enough money in the cave - to cover it! - Well send some more up! There isn't any because you forgot to sign the bank transfers! You see this it how it works! If you don't sign the transfers there's no cash.
That little bastard just stoled my rings! He's about to go turn he'll blow up my ass, what do you want me to tell him? I don't know! Make something up! Just do not let him no that we're broke! The casino's broke? What do you mean broke? Look There's no reason for concern here okay? You got the money or not? Ed, never would of drop the ball like this! Thanks, Judas! Don't look at me bro! I ain't the President of Operations! Let's get him! Let's explain Hey! What's wrong with you? Why aren't you ansering you're phone I called you three times! - What is going on? - It's Delinda! Dee, what's wrong? - Please! - Just breahe! Danny! The baby is coming! Could somebody get an ambulance! It's on the way! It's to early for the baby! Just st continue to breathe baby! What are you doing? This baby ain't wating for an ambulance, Danny! Do you even know how do deliver a baby? Sure! I've birthed hundred's of cows! What! What! - Danny! - Okay Danny, help me! Ok Delinda, were gonna need a couple of real big pushes! Just push sweety, yeah just keep pushing baby! - Don't talk to me! - Okay, just keep.
push! Push, keep pushing! - Allright this is all you're fault! - I know it's my fault just keep pushing! Come on, push! I can see the head! It's a boy! It's a boy! And he looks just like he's dady! What's up bro? Rise and shine Mc Coy! What time is it? You were supposed to meet me a half hour ago! Yeah I've must of sleept in! How many more night's you're gonna sleep on this couch? Until I get caught up I guess! I'm glad I didn't get the job! Well throw me at my own door mickey? What? What's up bro? My aunt Trudy had dreams like that.
Trudy? Trudy? Oh, Trudy was the, uh She was the one with the mole on her lip? No, that's Edna.
Trudy had the sideburns.
Wow, Mike.
You grow a third nipple, you'll have yourself a circus act.
Yeah, well, Trudy's dreams were no joke.
They were harbingers of doom.
Danny, when I was seven years old, she had this dream that I was lost in a forest.
Two days later, I ran my bike into a tree and broke my arm.
How can you explain that? That it is that dream of yours was a warning.
Bad things are gonna happen.
Yep, I'll tell him.
Danny, that was cynthia at the front desk.
She said the fire inspector's here to see you.
I was expecting him.
The day is young, mi amigo.
Look, I just can't do it, Dee.
I'm sorry.
- But you promised.
- I have meetings with the department heads all afternoon, and the fire inspector just showed up.
We're talking about our baby, Danny.
No, we're talking about a pre-Natal nutrition seminar.
And that's not important? Of course it's important, but so are my responsibilities at the Montecito.
Are you having an affair? Wha is this some kind of a pregnant hormonal thing? You're never home for dinner.
You sleep at the office.
We barely talk I miss you.
I miss you, too.
Dinner at 7:00, can you make it? Yeah, I'll be there.
Bye-Bye.
Bye, you.
I don't want to have to go over this again.
I'm tired of having to explain this every time I Danny boy, how the hell are you? Good, Mr.
Bob Casey.
How you been? Dammit, boy.
Every time I see you, you look more like your father.
God rest his soul.
So what's with the visit? We're not due for an inspection for, like, another six weeks.
You brought this on yourself.
That "anything can happen" campaign violated at least 16 fire codes.
Locking doors for money giveaways, driving cars inside the casino What were you thinking? Just trying to drum up a little attention for the Montecito, that's all.
Yeah? Well, you got it all right.
All the way up to the mayor's office.
My orders were to check the place, top to bottom.
Okay, where do we start? With your valets.
Where do they get off parking in my fire lane? Delinda wants me to go to some pregnant chick lecture with her.
How about it, Mike? Meet a lot of hot chicks.
Mmm, pregnant chicks.
Hey, at least you know they put out.
Wow.
Uh, can't do it, Dee.
Cooper asked me to watch over the palm on a pick-up competition.
They're still at it? There has got to be an easier way to win a truck.
That's Keira Walker Single mother of two from Wichita.
She thinks the big man's gonna help her win the car.
Cooper? God.
Frat boy is Chet Hammond.
He's done 55 shots, one for every hour of the competition.
That's Mandy Hayes.
She's a dancer at the pine cone in Reno.
Whore.
Not her, you.
I'm just being polite.
You get any more polite, you're gonna need a shot of antibiotics in your ass.
Hey, it's homeless guy.
Yeah, that's Stan.
He wouldn't give us his last name.
And last but not least, we got Johnny Hale.
He's from Beulah, Wyoming.
Hey, isn't that where Cooper's from? I think he's from Gillette.
Yeah, well, what's the difference? It's all cut-Off shorts and sleeveless flannel.
He's behind me? I'm gonna go and Opus.
I, uh, personally enjoy a man in cut-Offs and sleeveless flannel.
- Yeah.
- Everything running smoothly, Mike? No problems.
Good.
Let's keep it that way.
That is the hourly bathroom break.
Judges must return to the pick-up at the end of the break to avoid disqualification.
How are you holding up, Johnny? Feet are killing me, Cooper.
Cowboy boots.
Poor choice for an endurance test on the ground.
Yeah, no kiddin'.
Any chance one of your people could grab a pair of tennis shoes from my room? I'm sure Sam would be happy to oblige.
Uh - Hello.
- Hey.
Sweet.
Uh, so, uh, look, along with the tennis shoes, sweetheart, there's gonna be a couple other things I'm gonna need.
Look, I know you think I'm busting your balls.
Back when your old man and I were your age, no one gave a damn about a couple of broken sprinkler heads.
All that changed with the old MGM fire.
Hold on one second.
Yeah.
Hey, Danny, we've got a problem at Opus.
Delinda? No.
She's fine.
But I think you'd better get over here.
All right, I'll be there right away.
I'll be right back.
- Make it quick.
- Yes.
If you foreigners don't like our country, then get the hell out! Who you calling a foreigner? I'm from San Jose, douche-Bag! Okay, okay, guys.
Punk! Mr.
Faraz and Mr.
Kennedy were having a drink at the bar.
They started to argue, then things got physical.
I was about to toss 'em both out, but Kennedy claims he knows you.
- Who threw the first punch? - Kennedy.
Uh, I'm Danny McCoy, President of operations here at the Montecito.
I do apologize for any inconvenience.
We'll obviously set you up with a suite at our expense, of course, okay? - Thank you very much.
- Okay, okay.
Right this way, sir.
What about him? Let him go.
He's my uncle.
How long has it been, Danny? - 25, actually.
- That long, huh? Time flies when you're chugging jack and busting heads.
You got that right.
Hey, listen, about that guy.
He was making disparaging remarks about our troops.
I'm sure you would have done the same thing, huh? Probably use one of those wrestling choke holds - I taught you.
- No, I've actually learned how to control my temper.
Hey, lighten up, kid.
I'm just trying to have some fun with you.
Why are you here? I just got back into town.
I heard you were running things at the Montecito.
Thought I'd come by, check it out.
Well, I'd be more than happy to arrange a tour for you, if you'd like.
What's the matter? You too much of a big-Shot to show your old uncle around? I'm not drinking anymore, Danny.
I've been clean and sober for over two years now.
Good to know.
Look, I was hoping that maybe we could sit down, you know, catch up a little.
You know, I've actually got a lot of stuff to do.
Maybe we could do it again in another 25 years? The evidence is right in front of you.
My dream was not a premonition, Mike.
I beg to differ.
Exhibit a.
Fire inspector Casey shows up for a surprise inspection.
We were due for an inspection.
In six weeks.
Ah, thought I didn't know, huh? So he showed up a little early.
It doesn't mean anything.
You're forgetting exhibit "b" your uncle Luke.
You haven't heard from the guy in, like, 25 years, and he suddenly shows up out of the blue.
Goose bumps, buddy.
You see that? - It's bad timing.
- It's spooky is what What good is a fire extinguisher if it's half empty, Mike? Is that a trick question? I'll get it filled.
- You do that.
- Yeah, please.
Next up back offices and spa.
Let's go.
Do me a favor and run a background check on my uncle Luke, will you? You think he's up to something? Just just just run it.
Don't be afraid of your gift, Danny boy.
I saw it, I saw it! - Like hell you did! - Like hell I did! You're going home, frat boy.
What's going on here? Chet was staring down Mandy's shirt and his hand came off.
No way, dude.
Did anyone else see it? You can look down my shirt anytime you'd like.
Hey, who are you gonna believe? Mitch, run playback on camera 1-6-3.
What am I looking for? Did chet's hand come off the car? Off like a prom dress.
You're out, bro-Seph.
And we're down to only four contestants Adios, junior.
In the pick-up contest, the ultimate endurance test.
What are you doing, Sam? Put it right around here.
Uh, well, Johnny can't miss his favorite tv show, golden girls.
Oh, gotta love that blanche.
What? My mother liked it.
Come on, shake a leg, sugar pants.
The damn show's about to start, babe.
That's funny.
I'm gonna kill him.
Danny, you are never going to believe what I found.
Adorable, huh? Yeah, adorable.
You never said anything about a baby.
It's because I haven't gotten around to it yet.
Bob Casey, Delinda Deline.
Congratulations, Delinda.
I wish you and your baby a long and healthy life.
Thank you.
Well, I'll let you two get back to work.
I'll see you at 7:00.
Dee, Dee, baby, uh About dinner, I Don't say it, Danny.
I'm tired of eating alone.
I know, I know, but my day hasn't exactly gone as planned, okay? I've got this surprise inspection, I slept through half of my meetings, and my uncle Luke just showed up out of nowhere.
You didn't tell me you had an uncle.
Well, there's not much to tell.
He's my mom's little brother, and he wasn't around very much, so Is he staying here? I think so, yeah.
Well, what do you mean, you "think so"? - This is your uncle we're talking about.
- I haven't seen or heard from the guy since I was seven years old.
He's like a stranger to me.
Baby, I gotta run.
- But, Danny.
We need to talk about this - I know, we'll talk about it later.
- Okay.
- Okay, bye-Bye.
Hey, what's up with the shake? I don't want to talk about it.
He does realize I have better things to do with my time, right? Who? I said I don't want to talk about it.
Okay.
All right, there's three whales who need my attention, guys who actually spend money, and instead he has me baby-Sitting some redneck from Texas.
Who exactly are we talking about? Cooper.
- Well, why not just say something? - Let's just drop it, okay? Okay, it's dropped.
There are, like, 30 other casinos in this town who are just chomping at the bit to hire me.
Oh, my god, do you hear me? Look at me.
Two hours with Johnny Hayseed, and I'm already speaking country slang.
Um, you got a little something, um All contestants, you have four minutes left on your break.
What are you doing, Mike? Uh, slot maintenance.
- Really? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This one's good.
Kind of looked to me like you were checking out Mandy.
Mandy? Oh, yeah.
Well, if I was, it was for strictly professional reasons.
Of course.
They're still at it, folks.
Can you believe it? Stick around and see who walks away with a new pick-up.
Well, looks like the break is almost over.
I better check and make sure everyone's doing okay.
- Good idea, Mike.
- Yeah.
Hey, Mandy, how are you holding up? I'm bored, and my feet are killing me.
Well, maybe when this thing is over, I can give you one of my famous Mike cannon foot massages.
I don't want you touching my feet.
Mental note, no feet.
How about a little back shiatsu instead? It's never gonna happen.
Where you been? Here you go.
One chocolate milkshake.
It's extra thick.
Oh, whoa, hey, this is all melted.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
I had a little wardrobe detour.
Yeah, well, you know what? I want a fresh one.
Okay, uh, well, you know what? - I'm just gonna - Hey.
Get after it, sweet cheeks.
- What'do you just call me? - I think you heard what I said.
Hey, you know what? Why don't yeah, I know.
Why don't I just get that milkshake for you, Johnny? That's all right, Mike.
I want, uh, I want Sammy to fetch it for me.
You know what? That's okay, Mike.
I don't mind fetching it.
I like the way you roll.
Will you just hold it for a second? Why don't you just, uh, suck on this.
Until I get back, okay? I'll be right back.
All contestants, this is your one-Minute warning.
So did we pass the big fire inspection? It's not over.
Knockwurst break.
Man's gotta eat, right? Yeah.
So I got that info on your uncle you wanted.
Oh, yeah? What? Yeah, dishonorably discharged from the army almost 20 years ago.
After that, he drifted from place to place.
We found addresses from Alberta to Tallahassee.
- Criminal record? - Yeah, he's got a long rap sheet.
Drunk and disorderly, check forgery.
Anything serious? Well, he did a nickel stint in Arizona for aggravated assault.
All right, toss him.
By the way, he's been clean for the last five years, Danny.
Well, if he's got a record, 86 him.
Look, I know it's none of my business, but he is your uncle.
So? So maybe you can cut the guy a little slack.
You know what? You're right.
It is none of your business.
Find him and throw his ass out.
Next up, decks and patios.
- Great.
The kitchen's good.
- Hey, Danny.
Is that your uncle Luke? Yeah.
I haven't seen him in years.
Man, he looks like hell.
Uh, could you give me a second? Make it quick.
We got a lot of ground to cover.
Okay.
Hi, Danny.
Hey, you.
What are you doing? Uncle Luke and I were just talking about you.
God, Danny, you were such a cute kid.
Danny, you remember when that was taken? That's when we won the little league city championship.
You were so proud of that damn trophy, you wouldn't let anyone touch it.
Even brought it to bed with him that night.
Uh, don't you have a seminar? Yeah, we're gonna go in five minutes.
We? Luke agreed to go with me.
Hey, I think I'm her last hope.
No.
I want you out of my casino.
Danny.
Either you walk out on your own, or I have security escort you to the door.
Come on, come on.
Danny, please, you're embarrassing me.
Take it easy, kid.
Don't tell me to take it easy.
Don't you ever call me a kid.
- Come on.
- What the hell is wrong with you? Can't you see what this guy's doing? He's having lunch with you so that he can get to me.
I invited him, Danny.
You were busy, and I wanted to meet him.
And up until now, we were having a great time.
There are things about my uncle that you don't understand, okay? - Like his criminal record? - Yeah, for one.
He told me all about it.
I don't want you hanging out with the guy.
Why? Because it's complicated.
Look, in case you haven't noticed, we don't have a whole lot of family, and you're always working.
I don't want this baby growing up alone.
The baby isn't gonna grow up alone, Dee, come on.
Luke is your family.
Not to me, he isn't.
Fine, if you don't want to have anything to do with him, that's your choice.
But don't tell me what to do.
How long does it take to drop off laundry? That truck's been there all day.
The guys sometimes grab a bite to eat before they leave.
Well, unless they're eating at every restaurant in the Montecito, - they should be gone by now.
- You want me to have somebody check it out? That's okay.
I'll deal with it.
We've got a problem at the contest, Mike.
- Again? - Uh-Huh.
Tell 'em I'll be right there.
Clear.
All clear.
and there are four contestants still standing.
Stick around to see who will walk away with a new pick-up.
Hey, Mike, Mike, come here.
What's the problem now, Johnny? They're the problem.
What? There's no rule against singing during the competition.
Man, the rules state that no contestant can interfere with another contestant.
And that caterwauling crap is interfering with my concentration.
Come on, man.
Shut 'em down.
Ladies, ladies, ladies, I need you to refrain from singing in the casino.
Do you have a problem with us praising god, Mike? No, no, no, I just have a problem with you doing it so loudly inside the casino.
But maybe the hotel chapel would be a more appropriate place.
Well, what better place than a room full of sinners and lost souls.
Oh, yeah, oh, yeah.
Oh, hallelujah! Wait.
Being morally opposed to what goes on inside a casino, one might ask why you chose to enter a competition that takes place inside one? Well, I got lost looking for the Christian sisterhood convention.
And then god led me to this car.
Hallelujah! this little light of mine I'm gonna let it she, lord this little light of mine I'm gonna let it shine - Make it stop.
- this little light of mine Mm-Mm, no.
let it shine, let it shine, let it shine hide it under a bushel, no I'm gonna let it shine let it shine, let it shine, let it shine Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, Keira.
Yeah? You took your hand off.
- I'm sorry, you're out.
- Really? Reall right Well, I guess it just wasn't meant to be then.
God bless you, Mike.
You too, Keira.
God bless all of you.
We're down to our last three contestants.
Hey! Last man standing gets a new car.
How was the seminar? Informative, thanks.
- Dee.
- Why didn't you tell me about your uncle, Danny? Because I don't talk about him to anyone.
No more secrets, remember? All right, when I was growing up, Luke was always hanging around the house.
He'd show up for dinner, he would maybe spend the night.
As like a older brother.
And then he got into some trouble with a couple of guys over a gambling debt.
They came knocking at the door, mom gave them some money, but it wasn't enough.
Then he started drinking and taking drugs.
And of course mom tried to help him, but after awhile, he just stopped coming by the house anymore.
That must have been hard for her.
Actually, he he he He did show up just after she got sick.
I remember dyelling at him because he'd stolen some money from her purse.
When she died, he didn't even come to the funeral.
I'm so sorry, Danny.
No, it's Well, Danny, I can't pretend to understand how you feel.
But today at lunch, I saw something in Luke's eyes.
- Deep down, I know he cares about you.
- He walked out on my mom.
People make mistakes, Danny, and sometimes you gotta give 'em a chance to make it right.
Look, whatever you do, I'll still love you.
You wanted to see me, Cooper? I did.
If you had to pick a pony in this race, who would it be? Well, I'd give Johnny and Stan about another hour or so before they drop from exhaustion.
Whereas Mandy looks like she could run a marathon.
Her endurance is impressive.
Among other things.
I have noticed that she runs a little hot and cold.
Yeah.
But don't they all? That's the game, right? One minute they're all over you, the next, it's like you got the plague.
Well, I was wondering if there was more to it than that.
Well, I can bring up the footage from their last break.
Good.
Can you isolate on her? Oh, yeah.
Why is she using that bathroom? That's the farthest away from the truck.
Maybe she just likes her privacy.
Freeze it right there.
That woman in the hat and glasses.
- I've seen her before.
- The same woman.
Can we find out where she's going? Not a problem.
Room 2130.
It's registered to Mandy Hayes.
But if she's in the competition, who is this woman? I don't know, but we're gonna find out.
It's not as bad as it looks, Danny.
Most of the infractions are minor.
Oh, well, I'll make sure it's taken care of.
You've got one week.
And tell that new boss of yours, he messes with me again, - I'll personally close this place down.
- I'll be sure to pass it on.
By the way, I think you're doing one helluva good job.
Your old man would've been proud.
Thanks, Bob.
And we're down to only three contestants in the palm-On-A-Pickup contest.
Contestants, that's your five-Minute bathroom break.
Hey, cutie-Pie.
I'm disqualifying you from the competition, Mandy.
But I've had my hand on the car the entire time.
Ah, try 50% of the time.
Mike! What the hell's going on, Cooper? The twins were trading places in the ladies' room on their breaks.
Yeah, while one returned to the car, the other, in disguise, took a nap in their room.
Why don't we forget about this silly little competition, and the three of us go out on the town for some fun? Wow, it's never gonna happen.
Fellas.
You headed back to Reno? Yeah.
Look, Danny Have a safe trip.
Look, I know it was wrong of me to show up here the way I did, but I thought it would be a good thing.
I loved your mother, Danny.
Is that why you walked out on her? That was a long time ago.
Yeah, I still remember how she looked when she was lying there, just calling out your name, wondering where the hell you went.
You were the only family that she had.
I know.
- She needed you.
- I know.
- I needed you.
- I was a drunk, Danny.
And when you're a drunk, nothing else matters but the next drink.
- No, you could've quit.
- I tried.
More than once.
But I wasn't strong enough.
I had to leave.
I had to get away from here.
Listen, I know I should've been there for you and your mother.
And believe me, not a day goes by that I'm not sorry for that.
I can't undo the things I've done, kid.
But I'm willing to start over if you'll let me.
Tell Delinda I said good-Bye.
Wait a second.
I don't know if I believe in second chances, but I know that Delinda does.
And I know that my mother did.
She would've loved Delinda.
So why don't you tell her yourself? If we leave now, we can still make it back for dinner.
You sure? Yeah.
What about your work? Yeah, it'll be here tomorrow.
Come on.
You wanted to see me? I did.
Sit down.
I like to stand.
Johnny wasn't happy about the milkshake.
Too much chocolate sauce? Johnny Hale is a real son of a bitch.
You noticed.
His dad has run my ranch for 20 years, and he's a friend.
You know, Sam, when I ask one of my employees to do something, I expect them to do it.
Yeah.
Mr.
Cooper, I'm sure that your "I'm the big boss" speech works very well with your pit bosses and most of your employees, but, um, my job is a little more sophisticated.
I'm not sure if you're aware of that.
The principle's the same.
My job is to bring whales into this casino and keep them happy.
If they're happy, they're gambling.
Obviously, if they're gambling, they're making you a lot of money.
Do you know how much time I wasted playing wet nurse to your friend Johnny on his quest for some $50,000 truck? Probably cost us ten times that in lost revenue.
People are entitled to be treated with decency and respect, regardless of their bank account.
It's clear we're not gonna see eye-To-Eye on this.
No, we're not.
You know what I'm doing here, Sam? I'm signing paychecks.
The tail doesn't wag the dog.
You're fired.
- I'll clear the things out of my suite.
- Security will escort you to the door.
We'll be happy to forward them to you.
All right, we'll be home in 20 minutes.
Yes, both of us.
All right, I love you too.
All right, table's set for three.
Danny.
Is something wrong? Yeah, look, I need to go to the shop and pick Delinda up those chocolates she loves.
That's not necessary.
Look, I'm not gonna show up to dinner empty-Handed.
Come on, it'll just take a minute.
Come on.
Okay.
- Release the gas.
- Got it.
Do you smell that? Yeah, it smells like oranges.
You hear that? Go, go, go, go, go, go.
Go, go, go, go, go, go! Move, move, move, move, move! Hey, let's go, let's go, let's go! Disabling ventilation.
Hey, Mike, something's going on.
They're gassing the casino! We got four guys on the casino floor in assault gear and gas masks.
Two are heading for the money cage.
I'll have a team down there right away.
No! Nobody else comes to the floor.
So what do you want me to do? I don't know, call the police, or SWAT, or the ambul Danny! Danny! You there? Faster, faster! Danny, wait! Run! What the hell is he doing? [Michael andrews' mad world.]
all around me are familiar faces worn-out places worn-out faces bright and early for the daily races going nowhere going nowhere their tears are filling up their glasses no expression no expression hide my head I want to drown my sorrow no tomorrow no tomorrow and I find it kind of funny I find it kind of sad the dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had I find it hard to tell you I find it hard to take when people run in circles it's a very, very mad world mad world mad world enlarge your world mad world