The Sopranos s05e09 Episode Script
Unidentified Black Males
in the bottom of the eighth, a very tight game.
- A hot day - It sure is today.
It certainly is, Roger.
Mets tying it up two to two in the sixth.
Man on second Want another super-nacho? No, they been sittin' too long.
The cheese is sweaty.
This guy in the joint, crazy Rasta fuck, made grilled cheese on the radiator.
He'd put the bread between two sheets of paper.
Had a whole system.
What'd you do to your foot? The other night in fuckin' Irvington two black guys jumped me outside a bar.
With half of them locked up grilling cheese, you'd think there wouldn't be so many around.
- Should I melt another batch? - Nah.
I'm good.
I got dinner in the city.
So, Finn, you got any plans for the summer? Goin' back to Mission Viejo to surf or whatever? I'm hopin' to stay here in the city.
- How's summer school going? - It sucks.
I did summer school once.
You can still have fun.
Casa Carmela? He's looking at maximum security summer.
Excuse me a minute.
Why don't you cut your mother a break? She's holdin' this family together during this current situation and all.
- Can we get the check? - The young man took care of it.
- You paid the check? - I figured since you're always so generous, I should reciprocate.
Lucky you don't get your head handed to you.
Let's get this straight.
- You eat, I pay.
- Mr Soprano No, when you have your own family, you pay.
Let's go.
Just take the money.
- I didn't mean to bite your head off in there.
- I didn't mean to overstep.
I just wanted to say thank you.
You're a good guy.
I respect you trying.
And then he fell asleep right after.
He did call me late the next morning.
And he sent flowers.
But other than that I haven't heard from him all week.
- What'd he say? - That it was nice, you know.
And it was nice.
He was very sweet.
You think what happened at the party is an overture Tony wants to get back together? I don't know, maybe.
He's droppin' AJ off later.
This is the last thing I need to get into now.
Please, he never had it so good.
- That's him.
- You two should talk.
Let me just pee.
So, was your father in a rush now or something? No, says he was tired.
And to give you this and a kiss on the cheek.
Thank God.
The last thing I needed was to talk to him.
Know who loved golf? It was Joey Peeps.
May he rest in peace.
- It's sad when they go young like that.
- When they go? Come on.
It was Little Carmine behind it.
Payback for that whore of his Lorraine Calluzzo.
You don't know that for sure, John.
Little Carmine knew how fond I was of this kid, Tony.
I picked him out of the chorus.
Schooled him when he was my driver.
Anything from your cop? Some homeless fuck saw a guy limpin' away.
Then he wasn't sure.
I'll tell ya, I don't know how I'm gonna get through Joey's funeral.
And forget about Ginny.
Every Christmas Joey'd send her a Grandma's of Maine coffee cake.
What's wrong? You all right? - Is it his heart? - No.
It's this fucking weather, sudden changes.
Fucks up your respiratory system.
Come on.
- I got you.
- Get some electrolytes in him.
We got you.
That's it.
Sit down.
Good, good.
That's it.
You're all right.
You're all right.
The point I'm trying to illustrate is that of course no one wants all-out conflict.
But historically, historical changes have come out of war.
As far as I'm concerned it's a new day.
Old treaties and ways of doing things are null and void.
- Exactly.
- And the Joe Peeps thing? Where does that leave us? When you've had a quadruple bypass like I did, it gives you a lot of time to think.
The only thing Johnny understands is force.
But the fact is, though, we pissed on a bees' nest.
What's the other option? Roll over? We could've had a sit-down.
The other captains, maybe.
This isn't the UN, Angelo.
I won't let what happened to my father happen to me.
God forgive me, but you may be a stronger man than your dad was.
The fundamental question is will I be as effective as a boss like my dad was? And I will be.
Even more so, but until I am, it'll be hard to verify that I think I'll be more effective.
I just talked to my parents.
They offered me a ticket home.
No economic relief.
What'd the lady at student placement say? - I never went down there.
- Why didn't you? This economy, hello? I mean, even the crappiest McJobs aren't there.
I wouldn't want to take away a job a minority could have.
Just It doesn't cool anything anyway.
Leave it.
Don't open the window, the garbage reeks.
Why do we want to be in New York anyway? It was supposed to be fun, remember? Summer before the big push of grad school? You could go out to Jersey, sleep in comfort.
Is that what you want? No.
All I know is, I cannot go home and live with my parents.
I graduated.
I mean maybe I should go back out.
I can work as a PA for Josh's dad.
At least I'd earn some cash.
You could come out for a week.
Wait, wait, wait.
What? He's a photographer.
I told you, he does major magazine ads BMW, it's pretty cool stuff.
- Is that what you want? - No.
- But at least I'd have money.
- Your thing with models.
- There's no models.
- What? It's interesting work.
As a career, actually, I mean Josh's dad saw my shots that won a prize in school.
Said they were "solidly unsentimental".
What are you talking about? Just blow off dental school? You haven't taken one photograph in a year.
You bitch every time I ask you - to take a snap of me and my friends.
- I'm just saying I gave up junior year abroad to be with you.
I know, and I wanna stay here.
I could come out West with you.
- But I have to blow off the law centre.
- Is that what you want to do? I don't know.
Do you want me to come out? - If you want to.
- No, you need to say.
Maybe we should stay out there.
You could transfer to UCLA.
Fuck it.
It's roasting in here.
It's 10:30.
We can go to a movie.
- What do you want to see? - I don't know, you say.
No, you.
Hello? Mrs Soprano.
Lee Nieman returning.
Oh, hi, great, thank you.
I gave your secretary the broad strokes.
You're in the middle of a separation, the attorney retired.
Right, Bob Greenberg.
At any rate, I'm thinking it's time I move forward with the divorce proceedings.
I'm afraid I'm gonna have to cut you short.
- As far as handling it, I have to recuse myself.
- What do you mean? Actually, your husband had been in to see me for a consultation last year.
My husband hired you? No, but based on a prior meeting, the code of professional responsibility precludes me from representing you because of that consultation.
He met with Greenberg, and he wanted to represent me.
Mr Greenberg would've found himself in a bit of ethical soup had he moved forward.
I don't understand this.
Why is my husband so picky? He talked to several top divorce attorneys in New Jersey.
You can probably figure that manoeuvre out for yourself.
Jesus Christ.
I understand your frustration.
I can recommend a colleague.
Someone your husband hasn't contaminated.
Well, yeah, OK.
Accordin' to Johnny Sack, the kid's brains were splattered over the seat.
Joe Peeps? Couldn't have been too much to clean up.
I heard the hooker he was with got it in the chest.
Must have been silicone everywhere, too.
Why you always try and top me? You took the air outta my fuckin' punch line.
Anyway, Joey Peeps' mom's a widow, she's in a wheelchair.
Johnny's takin' care of the interment, that shit there.
So I'm thinkin' we should pick up the headstone.
- Jason, get into it.
- I'll call the marble guy.
- What's up, guys? - Frank.
- Frankie.
- Talk to you outside? Gimme two.
What's up? Turns out somebody got a look at the guy that did Joe Peeps.
All they got so far is he's got a bad limp.
Long John Silver, maybe.
Where the fuck do you get the balls? I am bendin' over backwards tryin' to stay neutral, payin' for fuckin' car seats.
And you're out there actin' like a fuckin' free agent! Don't look at me like I'm a jerkoff.
I'm sick of you leanin' on this cousin thing and that bad hijack, like you can do whatever the fuck it is you want cos you went away that night and I didn't! You keep bringin' that up.
I'm fine with it.
First of all, I had nothin' to do with this.
- Don't fuckin' lie to me! - If I was, would you really wanna know? That'd just be another problem for you with Johnny, right? I know you're not earning what you expected.
And you got the twins, and Nancy.
You're a capable guy.
Your mother let it slip one time.
You got an IQ of 158.
- She told you that? - The week you got tested.
All the nuns were raving about it.
Lot of good it did me.
I had high hopes when you got out.
Yeah? Look, a guy like you brains, balls if you'd fucking be straight with me I could use all that.
Put me in, coach.
All right, we got the casino on Bloomfield Avenue above the hardware store.
Carlo's guy was running it, but he just got diagnosed with Hodgkin's.
- That's mine? - Yeah.
A lot of fucking money there.
I'll see what I can do about getting you straightened out, opening up the books for you.
It's long overdue.
So I solved a major problem business-wise.
Put a very good piece of manpower to work.
My cousin Tony.
You mentioned how close you two are.
When we were kids they called me Tony Uncle Johnny and him Tony Uncle Al.
Right, yes.
You told me all that.
Anyway, a very smart guy.
He's got an IQ of 158.
Do you put a lot of stock into that number? Why, are you gonna tell me it's bullshit? Cos I took that test and somebody gets a 158, well, they know a few things.
So we can assume you think he's smarter than you.
Honestly, I think he's smarter than you the way you keep shitting on the test.
But I'm no gabadotz myself.
This was a good move.
Carmela and I slept together.
- What was that like? - It was nice.
It was very erotic.
She was wearing that perfume that she wears.
Poor thing was starved for it, honestly.
I'm the only man she's ever been with.
Did you discuss it? Nah, I left before she woke up.
How come? If she woke up and I was there it would send mixed signals, you know.
I'm not sure that's the best Yeah.
No.
Tell him I got fax machines coming out of my ass.
And would you characterise the separation thus far as amicable? It's barely civil.
Yeah, there are moments when old habits kick in.
And feelings.
But he is not the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.
Fair enough.
As for the assets you've given me your tax returns and investments? The house is in my name.
Not the boat.
- That's the Stugots, is it? - Yes.
I'm a little concerned that the returns don't reflect everything.
There is other income, there's a lot more.
- Unreported income? - Yes.
And this other income, is it from an illegal stream? No, of course not.
But he does deal in cash, my husband.
The carting business.
- I see.
- Is that a problem? I handled a case once where the husband owned vending machines.
I used a forensic accountant to reconstruct his finances.
In less than a week, he outlined 11 years of income.
And we're talking coins.
Hey, you.
Busy day? I dropped off an application at the Cineplex on Broadway.
Stopped by my dad's.
He got you a job working construction.
Construction? That's awesome.
It's in Jersey, though.
You'll have to take the PATH train.
Fine, no problem.
But the most I ever did, though, is help my dad paint.
He said you don't need experience.
You'll be a labourer or something.
- Pays like 20 bucks an hour.
- Holy shit.
How is that even possible? You believe these fucking Blue Jays? Last inning I screamed so loud my wife thought I had a heart attack.
Why, what happened? Burrell got shelled.
It was beautiful.
- What are you, a Met fan? - Padres.
- Padres? - I'm from California.
I gotta go make my collections.
Stick with the Angels.
The Pads haven't had a team in 20 years.
What do you mean? They were in the Series in '98.
Yanks in four, I was there.
Hey, Shaggy, grab a bucket and some Lysol.
Scrub off my tyres.
There's fuckin' dogshit by the entrance.
I'm supposed to be picking up scrap.
You'll be pickin' up your teeth in another second.
DeTrolio, you need somethin' to do? Get fuckin' lost! Come on, guys.
Go! Before it sets in the treads! My checks come in yet? I don't know.
I didn't see the girl.
If she ain't got them, send Meadow's friend when he's done with your car.
Who Meadow? What are you talking about? Meadow Soprano.
That's her boyfriend.
There he is.
I can't find any Lysol.
Don't worry about it.
Why didn't you tell me you were datin' my niece? Here.
You take her someplace nice.
Tell her it's from Uncle Paulie.
Thank you, I That's really nice.
Here.
Gimme that shit.
Paulie! Come here.
Get the hose.
Sorry I'm late.
- You been waiting long? - Not really.
So, to what do I owe this pleasure? Well, I don't know if you're gonna see it that way.
I have asked you to lunch to tell you I'm filing for divorce.
I hope you brought your appetite.
Why don't you give us a minute? That's nice.
Invite me to a public place so you could ambush me.
- Do you think I won't make a scene? - Spare me your outrage, Tony.
Accept that I am moving on with my life.
Moving on? That's what you were doing after the party? You and I both know that didn't change anything.
We're Italian, we don't believe in divorce.
We believe in the nuclear family.
Will you listen to yourself? And despite your best efforts, I have an attorney who is going to aggressively pursue my custody of AJ and also an equitable distribution of our assets.
Our assets? I am through trying to get you to provide beyond the minimum I need to live.
So it's fucking money.
That's all this is to you? After all we've been through, is it so hard to own up to anything beyond that bullshit tax return? Go stand over there.
I'll call you when I'm ready.
You want money? My 40 grand you stole out of the bird feeder? It should be plenty.
You're an investment genius.
You want this to get ugly? These guys live for that.
You think I don't? The only reason you have anything is because of my sweat.
And you knew every step of the way exactly how it works.
But you walk around that fucking mansion in your $500 shoes and your diamond rings and you act like butter wouldn't melt in your mouth.
And you don't want it to get ugly? Too late.
I want what I am entitled to.
You're entitled to shit.
She's ready to order.
I guess we get along.
We're just different, you know.
She zigs, I zag.
That kind of thing.
- What's her dad like? He's always flirting.
- He's OK.
A little intense sometimes.
The main thing's that he's a good person.
- So, you guys gonna get married or what? - Living together's the same thing.
I lived with a guy once and trust me, it's not even close to being the same thing.
- What do you mean? Why? - Cos.
You could just pack up and leave whenever the shit hits the fan.
Talk to married people.
That ring, believe it or not, it's got this kind of, like, weird power.
So, what happened with you and this guy? - Phineas, my boy! - Hey.
It's actually just Finn.
So, the Cubbies gave your boys a shellacking last night.
- It's still early.
- That's true.
You know who he looks like? That guy from Aerosmith, Joe Perry.
- Your boss inside? - Yeah.
All right.
I'll see youse around.
All right.
He seems like a nice guy.
Yeah.
They all are, pretty much.
So you dating anybody now? It's cute.
It's a lot of money for not much shirt.
- Relax, I'll put it on my own card.
- Damn right you will.
- What's that supposed to mean? - Ask your father.
He stopped paying my bills.
Daddy? You guys looked pretty chummy in the pool that night.
He went home with Artie.
They helped me clean up.
I have decided to move ahead with the divorce.
- What are you gonna do? - About what? - Life, I don't know.
- What can I do? Haven't you thought beyond being dependent on a man? It's so simple for you.
Simple for people who don't expect things to be handed to them.
Even Finn got a job working construction.
Good for Finn, then.
There are options in life.
Isn't that what you always told me? You have options.
I have a lawyer.
Phineas! He was just asking.
How come a dentist? What's wrong with being a regular doctor? I saw this thing on shark teeth as a kid.
Hey, Phil.
Glad you're not exerting yourself in the heat.
Course.
Now he comes.
Soon as the Jersey tomatoes are in season, you can't keep these New York guys away.
Fuck the tomatoes, I'll take the escarole.
You know my brother Billy? - Yeah, what do you say, Bill? - How you doing? - Hey, Felicia? - What? - Those cases of toner come in yet? - Yeah, it's in the trailer.
I'm gonna gas up.
I'll be right back.
Toner cartridges now? They're not skimming enough from this job? Brother sells them out of his trunk.
- Jesus.
- So, Patsy, the necklace.
- How'd it go with the goomah? - Beautiful.
With the little emeralds? She fucking loved it.
First he gave her the emeralds, then he gave her the pearls.
I got Ebel watches, too.
Earrings, whatever you need.
My girl's birthday's coming up.
- Some rack on that girl.
- Yeah, if you can get past the sideburns.
You should talk.
That skank I saw you with? This girl's fucking moustache must've been like kissing a fireman.
Well, you ought to know, sweetie.
- What'd you say? - Nothing, what? We're just breaking balls.
Finn, what time's that game tonight? - 8:00, I think.
- I'm gonna take a piss.
Do me a favour.
Hold this.
I knew that was coming! - My eye! - Your eye? I'm sorry.
I meant to hit you in the fucking mouth! Gene, Gene, relax.
- You OK? - All right.
Come on.
You made your point.
- Felicia, call an ambulance.
- Use your own phone, I'm busy.
You been sick all day.
Take the day off.
What about him? One of these civilians calls the cops? What? I think I seen a couple of niggers running that way.
Yeah, those two guys.
Need to rest? You want some water? You sure? Eugene Pontecorvo? He's so sweet.
Sweet? He was like an animal.
Are you gonna eat? I'm not hungry.
It's too hot anyway.
I told you I was making dinner tonight.
It's really good chilli.
You should've seen these guys.
They were laughing.
It was fucking sick.
- Is this what you grew up with? - What are you talking about? - These people, your dad's friends.
- I never saw one bit of violence growing up.
What about your dad's road rage? Didn't you tell me you had a boyfriend who was killed? Shot to death? First of all, he was killed by drug dealers.
African-Americans, if that makes you feel better.
You know you talk about these guys like it's an anthropology class.
But they bring certain modes of conflict resolution from all the way back in the old country.
From the poverty of the Mezzogiorno, where all higher authority was corrupt.
For the Lord Jesus Christ will change our mortal bodies to be like his in glory.
For he is risen.
The first-born from the dead.
In sure and certain hope of the resurrection unto eternal life through our Lord Jesus Christ, we commend to Almighty God our brother Joseph, and we commit his body to its resting place.
"Peeps"? It's a fucking nickname.
Family name is Peparelli.
They're gonna redo it.
Fucking Jason he's dyslexic.
What's that got to do with it? Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, the Lord bless him and keep him.
The Lord make his face to shine upon him.
The Lord lift up his countenance upon him and give him peace.
In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.
- Amen.
- Amen.
Amen.
John.
I'm sorry about the stone.
It was a mistake.
We'll fix it.
You remember Micky Farrell? Dock worker, used to run Port Newark? Guess who he saw on the Upper West Side the other night.
- Your cousin Tony.
- So what does that mean? - The night Joey bought it? - You flip your Maserati, hit your head? - You two-faced fuck! - Take it easy.
You want to yell at somebody, the man you should be talking to is there.
That fucking cocksucker.
I should fucking kill him and his fucking wife and your cousin next.
Come on, let's take a walk.
Calm down, come on.
The fucking gall on that man! His father must be spinning.
You want my advice? You go out there, you shake his hand and you put this fucking shit to bed.
Shake his hand? - And he kisses the kid's mother? - That's the way it works, you know that.
Sure, that's why your cousin's here! You are sincerely mistaken if you think me or my cousin had anything to do with this shit.
- He was spotted three blocks away.
- By Micky Farrell! You're gonna believe some drunken Irish fuckin' prick over me? Have a drink.
- I don't want a fuckin' drink.
- Have one anyway.
So how's your daughter doing? Good.
All right, maybe I'm wrong, but you haven't been yourself since the old man died.
Lorraine Calluzzo.
Then you sink this idiot's boat.
That's not the Johnny Sack I know.
I'm waiting for your explanation, Tony.
My cousin could not have been in the city that night cos he was with me.
We were looking for his daughter, John.
Cos she fuckin' disappeared.
We were Upstate, Monticello.
We'd heard Kelly had been living with some fucking crackhead up there.
Matter of fact, we were gonna reach out to you, see if you could get some of your people on it.
I swear on my mother, Tony, if I find out you're lying I'm sitting here humbling myself out of friendship to you.
There he is "Three out of four dentists surveyed.
" - How you doing? - Where you going? Come here.
OK, settle this If they fought today, both in their prime, Ali or Tyson? If you were laying a bet.
Jeez I really don't know.
He don't know.
It's an opinion.
Honestly, after the other day, I don't wanna say the wrong thing.
You see? This kid's all right.
I should get back.
Ramos'll be on my ass.
Would you forget about Ramos, for Christ's sakes? I talked to him.
Have a seat.
We got the good doughnuts today.
I'm exhausted.
I hardly slept at all last night.
So take a nap.
What are you worried about? You got any idea the money in that casino? And to give it to Tony B? Guy's back on the street two minutes, gets a fucking promotion.
Did you even go to the store? They're in the freezer like you like.
- Now he's talking about getting a maid.
- Really? Guy gets out of jail, suddenly I'm dogshit in Tony's eye.
- Chrissy - It's true! Ever since I cleaned up, no matter what he says, Tony don't believe a person can change.
This asshole went to a shrink.
Maybe he thinks you're working too hard.
North Carolina plus other stuff.
I can multitask, Adriana.
I'm not a fucking retard.
It's always some shit with him.
Side deals, secret promises.
He's always got an agenda.
What happened to not sweating the small stuff? All I know is I used to be number one cousin.
Now I'm being eased aside.
Your whole attitude in general.
And while we're at it, remember what we said about interrupting while I'm on the telephone.
OK, Mom.
- Hello? - It's me.
Hi, what's up? Dale just told us he figured out the rest of his life.
- You still thinking CIA? - Yeah, fight terror.
Nah, I'm gonna go to film school.
Me too.
- I got to motor.
- You don't have to work for like three hours.
He has to sleep a little.
I'll get a ride with Alex.
At this point it doesn't pay to go home.
Maybe I'll just crash at work.
Felicia told me where there's a key to the trailer.
Felicia told him.
- Be careful driving.
- All right.
I'll see you tonight.
- Later.
- Bye.
You sound like a racehorse pissing in there.
How's it going? - I never asked you what your last name is.
- It's DeTrolio.
Finn DeTrolio, my arch-nemesis.
- You enjoying yourself here? - It's all right.
I keep telling you you shouldn't work so hard.
Long hours.
This fucking heat.
Plus you came in so early today.
I just do what the job is.
Good.
You're strong.
That helps.
You know you can call me Vito? Yeah, I know.
So say it.
Let me hear you say, "What's up, Vito?" - What's up, Vito? - Not much, Finn.
Except I got a little surprise for you.
Two tickets to see your Padres take a beating from the Yanks tonight.
- Shit.
- Third baseline.
Plus, it's bat night.
That's really nice, Vito, but I - I'm don't know if I can - Don't pull that "aw shucks" shit with me.
You're fuckin' going.
I'll see you under the bat tonight.
Seven sharp.
And I don't like to miss the national anthem.
So you're just not gonna show up? You love baseball.
What is wrong with you? I don't like the guy, all right? Right.
I get it.
Dr DeTrolio can't hang with the common folk.
He came on to me, all right? - Either that or he wants to kill me.
- What? I saw him blowing some security guard in the parking lot.
- When? What are you talking about? - This morning I showed up early.
I didn't wanna say anything but I'm really afraid of this guy.
Vito Spatafore is a married man, Finn.
I seriously doubt he wants to kill you.
Maybe he wants to fuck me and then kill me.
Wait.
Is that why you got out the suitcase? I am not going back to the site.
Do you have any idea the strings my father pulled to get you that job? And you just fucking quit? I'm gonna hear so much bullshit! So it's all about you, right? Is that all you can say whenever it's anything to do with my feelings? - You're going back to Mission Viejo? - I didn't say that.
Why don't you just admit it? This whole thing the fight, the stuff with Vito, it's about you not wanting to commit.
I'm here! We fucking live together! - But you got out a suitcase! - It's my process, OK? Look, you never can tell.
Your process? About anything, the future.
I was thinking out loud.
Well, not out loud, but in the action of getting out the suitcase I was thinking.
Thinking of leaving! No.
Well, yes.
But, I'm still here.
I didn't go.
Fuck you! Right, great.
Fuck me.
There was no abundant intentionality in me getting out the suitcase.
I can leave too, you know.
My friend Hunter's in Montreal.
Do I know? With the French roommate guy who was all over your ass when we visited.
You don't think you keep mentioning him every 24 hours at a minimum? Because he's thinking of becoming an oral surgeon.
And you might have had a new friend if you hadn't been so obnoxious to him at the club! Can we just stop fighting? You got out a suitcase! I'll put it back, OK? Now batting for the Padres So it's not about us, but suddenly you're talking about options.
Don't paraphrase what I said.
I said this point in our lives is a transition period forced on us by external events.
School is over for me.
And next year for you.
These are difficult choices.
You'd rather not have choices? Thank God for choices.
Stop your bullshit! It's really simple.
- Are we going to stay together or not? - If you want.
- That's not what I asked! - I said I did.
You said, how are we going to keep it together through four years of dental school for you and med school for me? Well, it's a good question.
But why ask it now? Tonight of all times? - Are you asleep? - No.
You were! And now you were gonna lie like you did about the suitcase.
I did not lie about the suitcase.
Then what do you call it? I don't know, I explained it.
You should quit the law centre.
You're like a prosecutor at four am.
I can't think.
How can you sleep in the middle of this? In the middle of what? I said I didn't wanna go back to the job site and maybe I should go home until this thing with Vito blows over.
But you didn't ask me to come! You went to the closet and got out your suitcase! Jesus Christ! Look, just stop crying, OK? Why don't we just get married? Married? Let's get engaged.
Really? Why are you saying that now? I can't think, it's too late.
It's just something I feel very strongly.
I was wondering when I'd hear from you.
I never got your statement.
Well, actually that's why I called.
- We hit a bit of a snag.
- What kind of snag? Well, I put a call in to Phil Canter a few days ago, the forensic accountant.
- The one with the vending machines.
- I didn't hear from him.
Suddenly he called and said he wasn't interested.
So I called another accountant.
And? Frankly, when he heard your husband was the defendant, he demurred as well.
What does this mean? You don't want the case? Well, as my partners reminded me, I do have a full caseload already.
I probably should have mentioned And you were feeling so positive.
I woke up this morning, the depression just washed over me.
You are dissolving a 20-year marriage.
It's not my fuckin' goddamn marriage, OK? I had another panic attack.
And I thought I had this shit beat! What happened? Playing golf with a friend of mine and he was talking about this young guy he knew who passed away.
I guess I became overcome with emotion cos they had to help me off the tee.
It's not the first time it's happened recently.
I wish you had told me.
Yeah, well, I wish you'd cured it.
When the attacks first reappeared, what was going on in your life? You had just rebuffed my affections.
When you passed out were you thinking about me, or I walked into my house and the cleaning girl was crying on the phone about her cousin who went off the road in a Mexican bus wreck or something.
And I remember just feeling inside like I wanted to choke her cos it was always something with her.
Next thing I know, boom! When did it next happen? My cousin Tony was up at the house.
He wanted to borrow some tools and they weren't there.
I was inside talking to Carmela and started to feel that you know.
And it passed.
Your cousin was at your house? Yeah.
Tony Uncle whatever.
Uncle Al.
And your maid was crying about her cousin.
And the other day at the golf course my cousin entered into that, too.
- In what way? - He hurt his foot.
You were so concerned about your cousin's foot you collapsed on the golf course? I worry about him.
He's a grown man, isn't he? Is he in danger of losing the foot, or Fuck his foot! It's not his foot! Forget the foot! I worry about him.
He's right out of fucking jail, OK? All right, look.
The reason he went to prison is he got pinched hijacking a truckload of Betamaxes in '86.
They hooked him up on a RICO and he got 17 years.
I was supposed to be there the night of the jacking.
- I see.
- You see.
Why didn't you go? I was jumped by a bunch of moolinyans.
They were trying to take my shoes.
I fought them off, but they cut my fuckin' head open, the jigaboo cocksucking motherfuckers.
OK, forget that.
Your cousin went to prison.
That's tremendous guilt to carry.
He went to Nam, I was 4F.
And that's the way our friends look at it.
And that's why you favour Tony Uncle Al And those 17 years, I did so good.
He lost his wife, his daughter.
No wonder you're having anxiety attacks.
Yeah.
Maybe if you came clean with him? Yeah, well yeah.
- You OK? - Yeah.
Go on go on go on with what you were saying.
- Are you having an attack now? - No.
I had a huge lunch, that's all.
It's gas.
What is it, Anthony? The night he got pinched I had a fuckin' panic attack.
From my mother, goddamn it! - I didn't even know what it was then! - Just relax.
Focus on your breathing.
- Slowly.
- It's not that, I just I just need some Beano or something.
No, just please, focus.
I've got my medical bag in case.
Black guys, my ass.
I had a fight with my mother and I had a fuckin' panic attack! OK, forget that for now.
Carmela was supposed to come over with some fuckin' yarn for some bootees my mother was making Meadow.
She was late.
What the fuck.
Why go into it? Close your eyes.
Focus on your breathing.
- You want some water? - She was carrying on.
I said to her I said, "Carmela loves you.
"You gotta understand it, she's got a three-month-old.
" But she kept fucking she kept going and I started screaming at her.
So I left.
I walked out the door.
I went over to the car, I opened the door, boom! Cut my fucking head open.
- And your cousin doesn't know this? - No, I lied! What am I gonna tell him? What am I gonna tell all of them? I had a fight with my mother and I fainted? That's why I missed the job.
Jesus fuckin' Christ! That's a lot to get off your chest.
I thought I was smart and that's why I bumped him up and protect him.
Turns out I'm just a fuckin' robot to my own pussy-ass weakness.
He's also a capable person.
You OK? Sometimes what happens in here is like taking a shit.
Yes, OK.
Although I prefer to think of it more like childbirth.
Trust me.
It's like taking a shit.
- Hello? - Mom? I'm engaged.
- What? - Finn proposed.
- We're getting married.
- Are you sure? That's wonderful, honey.
I'm just so surprised! I He's gonna finish dental school, though, right? We're both finishing school.
We won't marry till we have our degrees.
This is so exciting.
I can't wait for you to meet his parents.
We'll have to have a party.
He's using his graduation present to buy me a ring.
That is so sweet.
I told him he shouldn't.
- God, I'm gonna cry.
- Yeah.
English
- A hot day - It sure is today.
It certainly is, Roger.
Mets tying it up two to two in the sixth.
Man on second Want another super-nacho? No, they been sittin' too long.
The cheese is sweaty.
This guy in the joint, crazy Rasta fuck, made grilled cheese on the radiator.
He'd put the bread between two sheets of paper.
Had a whole system.
What'd you do to your foot? The other night in fuckin' Irvington two black guys jumped me outside a bar.
With half of them locked up grilling cheese, you'd think there wouldn't be so many around.
- Should I melt another batch? - Nah.
I'm good.
I got dinner in the city.
So, Finn, you got any plans for the summer? Goin' back to Mission Viejo to surf or whatever? I'm hopin' to stay here in the city.
- How's summer school going? - It sucks.
I did summer school once.
You can still have fun.
Casa Carmela? He's looking at maximum security summer.
Excuse me a minute.
Why don't you cut your mother a break? She's holdin' this family together during this current situation and all.
- Can we get the check? - The young man took care of it.
- You paid the check? - I figured since you're always so generous, I should reciprocate.
Lucky you don't get your head handed to you.
Let's get this straight.
- You eat, I pay.
- Mr Soprano No, when you have your own family, you pay.
Let's go.
Just take the money.
- I didn't mean to bite your head off in there.
- I didn't mean to overstep.
I just wanted to say thank you.
You're a good guy.
I respect you trying.
And then he fell asleep right after.
He did call me late the next morning.
And he sent flowers.
But other than that I haven't heard from him all week.
- What'd he say? - That it was nice, you know.
And it was nice.
He was very sweet.
You think what happened at the party is an overture Tony wants to get back together? I don't know, maybe.
He's droppin' AJ off later.
This is the last thing I need to get into now.
Please, he never had it so good.
- That's him.
- You two should talk.
Let me just pee.
So, was your father in a rush now or something? No, says he was tired.
And to give you this and a kiss on the cheek.
Thank God.
The last thing I needed was to talk to him.
Know who loved golf? It was Joey Peeps.
May he rest in peace.
- It's sad when they go young like that.
- When they go? Come on.
It was Little Carmine behind it.
Payback for that whore of his Lorraine Calluzzo.
You don't know that for sure, John.
Little Carmine knew how fond I was of this kid, Tony.
I picked him out of the chorus.
Schooled him when he was my driver.
Anything from your cop? Some homeless fuck saw a guy limpin' away.
Then he wasn't sure.
I'll tell ya, I don't know how I'm gonna get through Joey's funeral.
And forget about Ginny.
Every Christmas Joey'd send her a Grandma's of Maine coffee cake.
What's wrong? You all right? - Is it his heart? - No.
It's this fucking weather, sudden changes.
Fucks up your respiratory system.
Come on.
- I got you.
- Get some electrolytes in him.
We got you.
That's it.
Sit down.
Good, good.
That's it.
You're all right.
You're all right.
The point I'm trying to illustrate is that of course no one wants all-out conflict.
But historically, historical changes have come out of war.
As far as I'm concerned it's a new day.
Old treaties and ways of doing things are null and void.
- Exactly.
- And the Joe Peeps thing? Where does that leave us? When you've had a quadruple bypass like I did, it gives you a lot of time to think.
The only thing Johnny understands is force.
But the fact is, though, we pissed on a bees' nest.
What's the other option? Roll over? We could've had a sit-down.
The other captains, maybe.
This isn't the UN, Angelo.
I won't let what happened to my father happen to me.
God forgive me, but you may be a stronger man than your dad was.
The fundamental question is will I be as effective as a boss like my dad was? And I will be.
Even more so, but until I am, it'll be hard to verify that I think I'll be more effective.
I just talked to my parents.
They offered me a ticket home.
No economic relief.
What'd the lady at student placement say? - I never went down there.
- Why didn't you? This economy, hello? I mean, even the crappiest McJobs aren't there.
I wouldn't want to take away a job a minority could have.
Just It doesn't cool anything anyway.
Leave it.
Don't open the window, the garbage reeks.
Why do we want to be in New York anyway? It was supposed to be fun, remember? Summer before the big push of grad school? You could go out to Jersey, sleep in comfort.
Is that what you want? No.
All I know is, I cannot go home and live with my parents.
I graduated.
I mean maybe I should go back out.
I can work as a PA for Josh's dad.
At least I'd earn some cash.
You could come out for a week.
Wait, wait, wait.
What? He's a photographer.
I told you, he does major magazine ads BMW, it's pretty cool stuff.
- Is that what you want? - No.
- But at least I'd have money.
- Your thing with models.
- There's no models.
- What? It's interesting work.
As a career, actually, I mean Josh's dad saw my shots that won a prize in school.
Said they were "solidly unsentimental".
What are you talking about? Just blow off dental school? You haven't taken one photograph in a year.
You bitch every time I ask you - to take a snap of me and my friends.
- I'm just saying I gave up junior year abroad to be with you.
I know, and I wanna stay here.
I could come out West with you.
- But I have to blow off the law centre.
- Is that what you want to do? I don't know.
Do you want me to come out? - If you want to.
- No, you need to say.
Maybe we should stay out there.
You could transfer to UCLA.
Fuck it.
It's roasting in here.
It's 10:30.
We can go to a movie.
- What do you want to see? - I don't know, you say.
No, you.
Hello? Mrs Soprano.
Lee Nieman returning.
Oh, hi, great, thank you.
I gave your secretary the broad strokes.
You're in the middle of a separation, the attorney retired.
Right, Bob Greenberg.
At any rate, I'm thinking it's time I move forward with the divorce proceedings.
I'm afraid I'm gonna have to cut you short.
- As far as handling it, I have to recuse myself.
- What do you mean? Actually, your husband had been in to see me for a consultation last year.
My husband hired you? No, but based on a prior meeting, the code of professional responsibility precludes me from representing you because of that consultation.
He met with Greenberg, and he wanted to represent me.
Mr Greenberg would've found himself in a bit of ethical soup had he moved forward.
I don't understand this.
Why is my husband so picky? He talked to several top divorce attorneys in New Jersey.
You can probably figure that manoeuvre out for yourself.
Jesus Christ.
I understand your frustration.
I can recommend a colleague.
Someone your husband hasn't contaminated.
Well, yeah, OK.
Accordin' to Johnny Sack, the kid's brains were splattered over the seat.
Joe Peeps? Couldn't have been too much to clean up.
I heard the hooker he was with got it in the chest.
Must have been silicone everywhere, too.
Why you always try and top me? You took the air outta my fuckin' punch line.
Anyway, Joey Peeps' mom's a widow, she's in a wheelchair.
Johnny's takin' care of the interment, that shit there.
So I'm thinkin' we should pick up the headstone.
- Jason, get into it.
- I'll call the marble guy.
- What's up, guys? - Frank.
- Frankie.
- Talk to you outside? Gimme two.
What's up? Turns out somebody got a look at the guy that did Joe Peeps.
All they got so far is he's got a bad limp.
Long John Silver, maybe.
Where the fuck do you get the balls? I am bendin' over backwards tryin' to stay neutral, payin' for fuckin' car seats.
And you're out there actin' like a fuckin' free agent! Don't look at me like I'm a jerkoff.
I'm sick of you leanin' on this cousin thing and that bad hijack, like you can do whatever the fuck it is you want cos you went away that night and I didn't! You keep bringin' that up.
I'm fine with it.
First of all, I had nothin' to do with this.
- Don't fuckin' lie to me! - If I was, would you really wanna know? That'd just be another problem for you with Johnny, right? I know you're not earning what you expected.
And you got the twins, and Nancy.
You're a capable guy.
Your mother let it slip one time.
You got an IQ of 158.
- She told you that? - The week you got tested.
All the nuns were raving about it.
Lot of good it did me.
I had high hopes when you got out.
Yeah? Look, a guy like you brains, balls if you'd fucking be straight with me I could use all that.
Put me in, coach.
All right, we got the casino on Bloomfield Avenue above the hardware store.
Carlo's guy was running it, but he just got diagnosed with Hodgkin's.
- That's mine? - Yeah.
A lot of fucking money there.
I'll see what I can do about getting you straightened out, opening up the books for you.
It's long overdue.
So I solved a major problem business-wise.
Put a very good piece of manpower to work.
My cousin Tony.
You mentioned how close you two are.
When we were kids they called me Tony Uncle Johnny and him Tony Uncle Al.
Right, yes.
You told me all that.
Anyway, a very smart guy.
He's got an IQ of 158.
Do you put a lot of stock into that number? Why, are you gonna tell me it's bullshit? Cos I took that test and somebody gets a 158, well, they know a few things.
So we can assume you think he's smarter than you.
Honestly, I think he's smarter than you the way you keep shitting on the test.
But I'm no gabadotz myself.
This was a good move.
Carmela and I slept together.
- What was that like? - It was nice.
It was very erotic.
She was wearing that perfume that she wears.
Poor thing was starved for it, honestly.
I'm the only man she's ever been with.
Did you discuss it? Nah, I left before she woke up.
How come? If she woke up and I was there it would send mixed signals, you know.
I'm not sure that's the best Yeah.
No.
Tell him I got fax machines coming out of my ass.
And would you characterise the separation thus far as amicable? It's barely civil.
Yeah, there are moments when old habits kick in.
And feelings.
But he is not the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.
Fair enough.
As for the assets you've given me your tax returns and investments? The house is in my name.
Not the boat.
- That's the Stugots, is it? - Yes.
I'm a little concerned that the returns don't reflect everything.
There is other income, there's a lot more.
- Unreported income? - Yes.
And this other income, is it from an illegal stream? No, of course not.
But he does deal in cash, my husband.
The carting business.
- I see.
- Is that a problem? I handled a case once where the husband owned vending machines.
I used a forensic accountant to reconstruct his finances.
In less than a week, he outlined 11 years of income.
And we're talking coins.
Hey, you.
Busy day? I dropped off an application at the Cineplex on Broadway.
Stopped by my dad's.
He got you a job working construction.
Construction? That's awesome.
It's in Jersey, though.
You'll have to take the PATH train.
Fine, no problem.
But the most I ever did, though, is help my dad paint.
He said you don't need experience.
You'll be a labourer or something.
- Pays like 20 bucks an hour.
- Holy shit.
How is that even possible? You believe these fucking Blue Jays? Last inning I screamed so loud my wife thought I had a heart attack.
Why, what happened? Burrell got shelled.
It was beautiful.
- What are you, a Met fan? - Padres.
- Padres? - I'm from California.
I gotta go make my collections.
Stick with the Angels.
The Pads haven't had a team in 20 years.
What do you mean? They were in the Series in '98.
Yanks in four, I was there.
Hey, Shaggy, grab a bucket and some Lysol.
Scrub off my tyres.
There's fuckin' dogshit by the entrance.
I'm supposed to be picking up scrap.
You'll be pickin' up your teeth in another second.
DeTrolio, you need somethin' to do? Get fuckin' lost! Come on, guys.
Go! Before it sets in the treads! My checks come in yet? I don't know.
I didn't see the girl.
If she ain't got them, send Meadow's friend when he's done with your car.
Who Meadow? What are you talking about? Meadow Soprano.
That's her boyfriend.
There he is.
I can't find any Lysol.
Don't worry about it.
Why didn't you tell me you were datin' my niece? Here.
You take her someplace nice.
Tell her it's from Uncle Paulie.
Thank you, I That's really nice.
Here.
Gimme that shit.
Paulie! Come here.
Get the hose.
Sorry I'm late.
- You been waiting long? - Not really.
So, to what do I owe this pleasure? Well, I don't know if you're gonna see it that way.
I have asked you to lunch to tell you I'm filing for divorce.
I hope you brought your appetite.
Why don't you give us a minute? That's nice.
Invite me to a public place so you could ambush me.
- Do you think I won't make a scene? - Spare me your outrage, Tony.
Accept that I am moving on with my life.
Moving on? That's what you were doing after the party? You and I both know that didn't change anything.
We're Italian, we don't believe in divorce.
We believe in the nuclear family.
Will you listen to yourself? And despite your best efforts, I have an attorney who is going to aggressively pursue my custody of AJ and also an equitable distribution of our assets.
Our assets? I am through trying to get you to provide beyond the minimum I need to live.
So it's fucking money.
That's all this is to you? After all we've been through, is it so hard to own up to anything beyond that bullshit tax return? Go stand over there.
I'll call you when I'm ready.
You want money? My 40 grand you stole out of the bird feeder? It should be plenty.
You're an investment genius.
You want this to get ugly? These guys live for that.
You think I don't? The only reason you have anything is because of my sweat.
And you knew every step of the way exactly how it works.
But you walk around that fucking mansion in your $500 shoes and your diamond rings and you act like butter wouldn't melt in your mouth.
And you don't want it to get ugly? Too late.
I want what I am entitled to.
You're entitled to shit.
She's ready to order.
I guess we get along.
We're just different, you know.
She zigs, I zag.
That kind of thing.
- What's her dad like? He's always flirting.
- He's OK.
A little intense sometimes.
The main thing's that he's a good person.
- So, you guys gonna get married or what? - Living together's the same thing.
I lived with a guy once and trust me, it's not even close to being the same thing.
- What do you mean? Why? - Cos.
You could just pack up and leave whenever the shit hits the fan.
Talk to married people.
That ring, believe it or not, it's got this kind of, like, weird power.
So, what happened with you and this guy? - Phineas, my boy! - Hey.
It's actually just Finn.
So, the Cubbies gave your boys a shellacking last night.
- It's still early.
- That's true.
You know who he looks like? That guy from Aerosmith, Joe Perry.
- Your boss inside? - Yeah.
All right.
I'll see youse around.
All right.
He seems like a nice guy.
Yeah.
They all are, pretty much.
So you dating anybody now? It's cute.
It's a lot of money for not much shirt.
- Relax, I'll put it on my own card.
- Damn right you will.
- What's that supposed to mean? - Ask your father.
He stopped paying my bills.
Daddy? You guys looked pretty chummy in the pool that night.
He went home with Artie.
They helped me clean up.
I have decided to move ahead with the divorce.
- What are you gonna do? - About what? - Life, I don't know.
- What can I do? Haven't you thought beyond being dependent on a man? It's so simple for you.
Simple for people who don't expect things to be handed to them.
Even Finn got a job working construction.
Good for Finn, then.
There are options in life.
Isn't that what you always told me? You have options.
I have a lawyer.
Phineas! He was just asking.
How come a dentist? What's wrong with being a regular doctor? I saw this thing on shark teeth as a kid.
Hey, Phil.
Glad you're not exerting yourself in the heat.
Course.
Now he comes.
Soon as the Jersey tomatoes are in season, you can't keep these New York guys away.
Fuck the tomatoes, I'll take the escarole.
You know my brother Billy? - Yeah, what do you say, Bill? - How you doing? - Hey, Felicia? - What? - Those cases of toner come in yet? - Yeah, it's in the trailer.
I'm gonna gas up.
I'll be right back.
Toner cartridges now? They're not skimming enough from this job? Brother sells them out of his trunk.
- Jesus.
- So, Patsy, the necklace.
- How'd it go with the goomah? - Beautiful.
With the little emeralds? She fucking loved it.
First he gave her the emeralds, then he gave her the pearls.
I got Ebel watches, too.
Earrings, whatever you need.
My girl's birthday's coming up.
- Some rack on that girl.
- Yeah, if you can get past the sideburns.
You should talk.
That skank I saw you with? This girl's fucking moustache must've been like kissing a fireman.
Well, you ought to know, sweetie.
- What'd you say? - Nothing, what? We're just breaking balls.
Finn, what time's that game tonight? - 8:00, I think.
- I'm gonna take a piss.
Do me a favour.
Hold this.
I knew that was coming! - My eye! - Your eye? I'm sorry.
I meant to hit you in the fucking mouth! Gene, Gene, relax.
- You OK? - All right.
Come on.
You made your point.
- Felicia, call an ambulance.
- Use your own phone, I'm busy.
You been sick all day.
Take the day off.
What about him? One of these civilians calls the cops? What? I think I seen a couple of niggers running that way.
Yeah, those two guys.
Need to rest? You want some water? You sure? Eugene Pontecorvo? He's so sweet.
Sweet? He was like an animal.
Are you gonna eat? I'm not hungry.
It's too hot anyway.
I told you I was making dinner tonight.
It's really good chilli.
You should've seen these guys.
They were laughing.
It was fucking sick.
- Is this what you grew up with? - What are you talking about? - These people, your dad's friends.
- I never saw one bit of violence growing up.
What about your dad's road rage? Didn't you tell me you had a boyfriend who was killed? Shot to death? First of all, he was killed by drug dealers.
African-Americans, if that makes you feel better.
You know you talk about these guys like it's an anthropology class.
But they bring certain modes of conflict resolution from all the way back in the old country.
From the poverty of the Mezzogiorno, where all higher authority was corrupt.
For the Lord Jesus Christ will change our mortal bodies to be like his in glory.
For he is risen.
The first-born from the dead.
In sure and certain hope of the resurrection unto eternal life through our Lord Jesus Christ, we commend to Almighty God our brother Joseph, and we commit his body to its resting place.
"Peeps"? It's a fucking nickname.
Family name is Peparelli.
They're gonna redo it.
Fucking Jason he's dyslexic.
What's that got to do with it? Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, the Lord bless him and keep him.
The Lord make his face to shine upon him.
The Lord lift up his countenance upon him and give him peace.
In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.
- Amen.
- Amen.
Amen.
John.
I'm sorry about the stone.
It was a mistake.
We'll fix it.
You remember Micky Farrell? Dock worker, used to run Port Newark? Guess who he saw on the Upper West Side the other night.
- Your cousin Tony.
- So what does that mean? - The night Joey bought it? - You flip your Maserati, hit your head? - You two-faced fuck! - Take it easy.
You want to yell at somebody, the man you should be talking to is there.
That fucking cocksucker.
I should fucking kill him and his fucking wife and your cousin next.
Come on, let's take a walk.
Calm down, come on.
The fucking gall on that man! His father must be spinning.
You want my advice? You go out there, you shake his hand and you put this fucking shit to bed.
Shake his hand? - And he kisses the kid's mother? - That's the way it works, you know that.
Sure, that's why your cousin's here! You are sincerely mistaken if you think me or my cousin had anything to do with this shit.
- He was spotted three blocks away.
- By Micky Farrell! You're gonna believe some drunken Irish fuckin' prick over me? Have a drink.
- I don't want a fuckin' drink.
- Have one anyway.
So how's your daughter doing? Good.
All right, maybe I'm wrong, but you haven't been yourself since the old man died.
Lorraine Calluzzo.
Then you sink this idiot's boat.
That's not the Johnny Sack I know.
I'm waiting for your explanation, Tony.
My cousin could not have been in the city that night cos he was with me.
We were looking for his daughter, John.
Cos she fuckin' disappeared.
We were Upstate, Monticello.
We'd heard Kelly had been living with some fucking crackhead up there.
Matter of fact, we were gonna reach out to you, see if you could get some of your people on it.
I swear on my mother, Tony, if I find out you're lying I'm sitting here humbling myself out of friendship to you.
There he is "Three out of four dentists surveyed.
" - How you doing? - Where you going? Come here.
OK, settle this If they fought today, both in their prime, Ali or Tyson? If you were laying a bet.
Jeez I really don't know.
He don't know.
It's an opinion.
Honestly, after the other day, I don't wanna say the wrong thing.
You see? This kid's all right.
I should get back.
Ramos'll be on my ass.
Would you forget about Ramos, for Christ's sakes? I talked to him.
Have a seat.
We got the good doughnuts today.
I'm exhausted.
I hardly slept at all last night.
So take a nap.
What are you worried about? You got any idea the money in that casino? And to give it to Tony B? Guy's back on the street two minutes, gets a fucking promotion.
Did you even go to the store? They're in the freezer like you like.
- Now he's talking about getting a maid.
- Really? Guy gets out of jail, suddenly I'm dogshit in Tony's eye.
- Chrissy - It's true! Ever since I cleaned up, no matter what he says, Tony don't believe a person can change.
This asshole went to a shrink.
Maybe he thinks you're working too hard.
North Carolina plus other stuff.
I can multitask, Adriana.
I'm not a fucking retard.
It's always some shit with him.
Side deals, secret promises.
He's always got an agenda.
What happened to not sweating the small stuff? All I know is I used to be number one cousin.
Now I'm being eased aside.
Your whole attitude in general.
And while we're at it, remember what we said about interrupting while I'm on the telephone.
OK, Mom.
- Hello? - It's me.
Hi, what's up? Dale just told us he figured out the rest of his life.
- You still thinking CIA? - Yeah, fight terror.
Nah, I'm gonna go to film school.
Me too.
- I got to motor.
- You don't have to work for like three hours.
He has to sleep a little.
I'll get a ride with Alex.
At this point it doesn't pay to go home.
Maybe I'll just crash at work.
Felicia told me where there's a key to the trailer.
Felicia told him.
- Be careful driving.
- All right.
I'll see you tonight.
- Later.
- Bye.
You sound like a racehorse pissing in there.
How's it going? - I never asked you what your last name is.
- It's DeTrolio.
Finn DeTrolio, my arch-nemesis.
- You enjoying yourself here? - It's all right.
I keep telling you you shouldn't work so hard.
Long hours.
This fucking heat.
Plus you came in so early today.
I just do what the job is.
Good.
You're strong.
That helps.
You know you can call me Vito? Yeah, I know.
So say it.
Let me hear you say, "What's up, Vito?" - What's up, Vito? - Not much, Finn.
Except I got a little surprise for you.
Two tickets to see your Padres take a beating from the Yanks tonight.
- Shit.
- Third baseline.
Plus, it's bat night.
That's really nice, Vito, but I - I'm don't know if I can - Don't pull that "aw shucks" shit with me.
You're fuckin' going.
I'll see you under the bat tonight.
Seven sharp.
And I don't like to miss the national anthem.
So you're just not gonna show up? You love baseball.
What is wrong with you? I don't like the guy, all right? Right.
I get it.
Dr DeTrolio can't hang with the common folk.
He came on to me, all right? - Either that or he wants to kill me.
- What? I saw him blowing some security guard in the parking lot.
- When? What are you talking about? - This morning I showed up early.
I didn't wanna say anything but I'm really afraid of this guy.
Vito Spatafore is a married man, Finn.
I seriously doubt he wants to kill you.
Maybe he wants to fuck me and then kill me.
Wait.
Is that why you got out the suitcase? I am not going back to the site.
Do you have any idea the strings my father pulled to get you that job? And you just fucking quit? I'm gonna hear so much bullshit! So it's all about you, right? Is that all you can say whenever it's anything to do with my feelings? - You're going back to Mission Viejo? - I didn't say that.
Why don't you just admit it? This whole thing the fight, the stuff with Vito, it's about you not wanting to commit.
I'm here! We fucking live together! - But you got out a suitcase! - It's my process, OK? Look, you never can tell.
Your process? About anything, the future.
I was thinking out loud.
Well, not out loud, but in the action of getting out the suitcase I was thinking.
Thinking of leaving! No.
Well, yes.
But, I'm still here.
I didn't go.
Fuck you! Right, great.
Fuck me.
There was no abundant intentionality in me getting out the suitcase.
I can leave too, you know.
My friend Hunter's in Montreal.
Do I know? With the French roommate guy who was all over your ass when we visited.
You don't think you keep mentioning him every 24 hours at a minimum? Because he's thinking of becoming an oral surgeon.
And you might have had a new friend if you hadn't been so obnoxious to him at the club! Can we just stop fighting? You got out a suitcase! I'll put it back, OK? Now batting for the Padres So it's not about us, but suddenly you're talking about options.
Don't paraphrase what I said.
I said this point in our lives is a transition period forced on us by external events.
School is over for me.
And next year for you.
These are difficult choices.
You'd rather not have choices? Thank God for choices.
Stop your bullshit! It's really simple.
- Are we going to stay together or not? - If you want.
- That's not what I asked! - I said I did.
You said, how are we going to keep it together through four years of dental school for you and med school for me? Well, it's a good question.
But why ask it now? Tonight of all times? - Are you asleep? - No.
You were! And now you were gonna lie like you did about the suitcase.
I did not lie about the suitcase.
Then what do you call it? I don't know, I explained it.
You should quit the law centre.
You're like a prosecutor at four am.
I can't think.
How can you sleep in the middle of this? In the middle of what? I said I didn't wanna go back to the job site and maybe I should go home until this thing with Vito blows over.
But you didn't ask me to come! You went to the closet and got out your suitcase! Jesus Christ! Look, just stop crying, OK? Why don't we just get married? Married? Let's get engaged.
Really? Why are you saying that now? I can't think, it's too late.
It's just something I feel very strongly.
I was wondering when I'd hear from you.
I never got your statement.
Well, actually that's why I called.
- We hit a bit of a snag.
- What kind of snag? Well, I put a call in to Phil Canter a few days ago, the forensic accountant.
- The one with the vending machines.
- I didn't hear from him.
Suddenly he called and said he wasn't interested.
So I called another accountant.
And? Frankly, when he heard your husband was the defendant, he demurred as well.
What does this mean? You don't want the case? Well, as my partners reminded me, I do have a full caseload already.
I probably should have mentioned And you were feeling so positive.
I woke up this morning, the depression just washed over me.
You are dissolving a 20-year marriage.
It's not my fuckin' goddamn marriage, OK? I had another panic attack.
And I thought I had this shit beat! What happened? Playing golf with a friend of mine and he was talking about this young guy he knew who passed away.
I guess I became overcome with emotion cos they had to help me off the tee.
It's not the first time it's happened recently.
I wish you had told me.
Yeah, well, I wish you'd cured it.
When the attacks first reappeared, what was going on in your life? You had just rebuffed my affections.
When you passed out were you thinking about me, or I walked into my house and the cleaning girl was crying on the phone about her cousin who went off the road in a Mexican bus wreck or something.
And I remember just feeling inside like I wanted to choke her cos it was always something with her.
Next thing I know, boom! When did it next happen? My cousin Tony was up at the house.
He wanted to borrow some tools and they weren't there.
I was inside talking to Carmela and started to feel that you know.
And it passed.
Your cousin was at your house? Yeah.
Tony Uncle whatever.
Uncle Al.
And your maid was crying about her cousin.
And the other day at the golf course my cousin entered into that, too.
- In what way? - He hurt his foot.
You were so concerned about your cousin's foot you collapsed on the golf course? I worry about him.
He's a grown man, isn't he? Is he in danger of losing the foot, or Fuck his foot! It's not his foot! Forget the foot! I worry about him.
He's right out of fucking jail, OK? All right, look.
The reason he went to prison is he got pinched hijacking a truckload of Betamaxes in '86.
They hooked him up on a RICO and he got 17 years.
I was supposed to be there the night of the jacking.
- I see.
- You see.
Why didn't you go? I was jumped by a bunch of moolinyans.
They were trying to take my shoes.
I fought them off, but they cut my fuckin' head open, the jigaboo cocksucking motherfuckers.
OK, forget that.
Your cousin went to prison.
That's tremendous guilt to carry.
He went to Nam, I was 4F.
And that's the way our friends look at it.
And that's why you favour Tony Uncle Al And those 17 years, I did so good.
He lost his wife, his daughter.
No wonder you're having anxiety attacks.
Yeah.
Maybe if you came clean with him? Yeah, well yeah.
- You OK? - Yeah.
Go on go on go on with what you were saying.
- Are you having an attack now? - No.
I had a huge lunch, that's all.
It's gas.
What is it, Anthony? The night he got pinched I had a fuckin' panic attack.
From my mother, goddamn it! - I didn't even know what it was then! - Just relax.
Focus on your breathing.
- Slowly.
- It's not that, I just I just need some Beano or something.
No, just please, focus.
I've got my medical bag in case.
Black guys, my ass.
I had a fight with my mother and I had a fuckin' panic attack! OK, forget that for now.
Carmela was supposed to come over with some fuckin' yarn for some bootees my mother was making Meadow.
She was late.
What the fuck.
Why go into it? Close your eyes.
Focus on your breathing.
- You want some water? - She was carrying on.
I said to her I said, "Carmela loves you.
"You gotta understand it, she's got a three-month-old.
" But she kept fucking she kept going and I started screaming at her.
So I left.
I walked out the door.
I went over to the car, I opened the door, boom! Cut my fucking head open.
- And your cousin doesn't know this? - No, I lied! What am I gonna tell him? What am I gonna tell all of them? I had a fight with my mother and I fainted? That's why I missed the job.
Jesus fuckin' Christ! That's a lot to get off your chest.
I thought I was smart and that's why I bumped him up and protect him.
Turns out I'm just a fuckin' robot to my own pussy-ass weakness.
He's also a capable person.
You OK? Sometimes what happens in here is like taking a shit.
Yes, OK.
Although I prefer to think of it more like childbirth.
Trust me.
It's like taking a shit.
- Hello? - Mom? I'm engaged.
- What? - Finn proposed.
- We're getting married.
- Are you sure? That's wonderful, honey.
I'm just so surprised! I He's gonna finish dental school, though, right? We're both finishing school.
We won't marry till we have our degrees.
This is so exciting.
I can't wait for you to meet his parents.
We'll have to have a party.
He's using his graduation present to buy me a ring.
That is so sweet.
I told him he shouldn't.
- God, I'm gonna cry.
- Yeah.
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