Will and Grace s05e09 Episode Script

Previously on Will and Grace Hey, kid, can you tell us what's going on here ? Did you just call me kid ? You're Katie Couric.
So, uh, what is going on here ? We're just having this mass wedding.
Some stupid stunt for sweeps.
Oh, if you're here where in the world is Matt Lauer ? Hey, you two look happy.
Would you like to get married today ? We got married ! What ? Just now, in the park.
Where are you kids going on your honeymoon ? We haven't really talked about it yet.
You should take her to your cabin.
- You have a cabin ? - Yeah, I go there to fish.
- You fish ? - I learned in Africa.
You were in Africa ? Yeah, when I was with Doctors Without Borders.
You were with Doctors Without Borders ? Have you two met ? Don't worry, Grace.
Marvin will fill you in on all that stuff.
That's right, Eleanor.
Who's Marvin ? That'd be me.
You just married a guy, and you don't even know his name ? Are you okay, baby ? Um, no, I'm Excuse me.
Will & Grace Saison 5 - Episode 9 Marry Me A Little More (Part 2) sous-titres par la Team W&G ~seriessub.
com~ Where are you going ? You're blowin' this way out of proportion.
You're like a stranger to me Marvin.
I might as well have married my Israeli pen pal from when I was 15 who sent me love letters on Hello Kitty stationary.
Actually over there it'd be Shalom Kitty.
Please don't joke right now.
That was weird up there.
I don't even know when your birthday is.
Okay, you wanna know some stuff about me ? Here you go.
I believe when I hold my breath, the guy on TV's going to make the basket.
I'm in a Doors cover band, consisting entirely of surgeons called "The Operating Room Doors".
And my deepest, darkest secret is that I don't like any food with raisins in it, but I do like raisins.
See, we already have a problem.
I love raisins.
In everything ! I even went to see A Raisin in the Sun because I thought there'd be raisins in it.
Grace, we have a whole lifetime to get to know each other, baby.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I just wish that there was some way that we could be sure we were doing the right thing, you know.
Just a sign, something.
Katie ? Hi ! Crap.
Hi ! Thanks for watching ! - Do you have your own pens ? - No, no, no.
It's Grace and Leo.
Remember, from the other day in the park.
We got married because of you.
Actually I got a colonoscopy because of you too.
Not on the same day, though.
And not in the park.
- Eee, the wedding.
Sorry about that.
- What ? What do you mean ? No one called you ? Ooh, awkward.
We're scrapping the whole wedding segment, because the judge performing the ceremony wasn't licensed in New York.
So all those marriages are invalid.
Last time I use Tom Brokaw's nephew as my fact checker.
I guess I wanted a sign, and I think I got it.
We're not married.
We'll go to city hall tomorrow.
We'll do it all over again.
- I don't know that I can.
- Why ? Why not ? - What's changed ? - Everything has changed.
I mean, the first time I said yes, it was impulsive and romantic and to a guy named Leo.
And now We know nothing about each other.
I knew everything I needed to know about you the first time I held your hand.
Grace, we're already married.
The rest is paperwork.
- How can you be so sure ? - Because when it's right, you just know.
You remember Tuesday ? We woke up.
I said, "Morning, wife".
You said, "Hello, husband".
Remember that ? Remember how great that was ? I want every day to be Tuesday.
Every day can't be Tuesday.
Today's Saturday, so it can't be Tuesday.
Monday can't be Tuesday.
Tuesday can't Well, Tuesday can, but Wednesday definitely can't be Tues Just come up with me.
And I promise you everything is going to be fine.
Please.
I can't.
I need time.
I'm sorry.
That was wild, wasn't it, Jackie ? The way Grace just kind of spooked and ran off.
Kind of like Rosie whenever I fire my gun in her room just as she's falling asleep.
Um, hi, everyone.
I have a little bit of an announcement to make.
Grace and I ran into Katie Couric in the lobby And she said that we weren't really married.
Turns out the judge that married us wasn't really legit, so Anyway, we have this place till midnight, so stick around, you know.
There's cake, there's booze, there's dancing.
Well, have fun.
I'm sorry.
You okay ? I'm about as good as Bill Buckner of the '86 Red Sox.
Ooh, ouch.
I'm sorry.
Do you even know what that means ? No, but anybody that's got 43 pairs of red socks obviously had issues.
- Where's Grace ? - She took off.
She she was pretty freaked out.
Can I borrow your phone, man ? I think I need to call her.
Uh, Leo, I think you might wanna give her some time right now.
I know Grace.
She's not like you.
She's not impulsive.
She once bought Impulse perfume and then returned it.
That's why this whole getting married in the park thing all seemed so weird to me.
Yeah, well, I guess I should send everyone home.
Hi, it's me again.
Listen, you're not going to like what you're about to hear.
To be fair, he did say we wouldn't like what we were about to hear.
- I thought you needed time to think.
- I did.
And I realized I want today to be Tuesday.
It's Tuesday ? How long have I been out ? Okay.
So our first wedding didn't take.
But we're havin' another one ! And a real one this time.
As for all these, ah, these lovely presents, I don't really know the protocol.
Let's just call them engagement gifts.
Bring another one at the wedding.
Welcome to the wedding.
Don't forget to sign the guest book.
Okay, who wrote, "If it doesn't work out, call me.
" That's tacky.
Don't forget to sign the guest book.
Oh, perfect.
I've been looking for this.
- That's a little inappropriate ! - Please.
This is inappropriate ? How about inviting people to watch a man and woman get married ? Look how good it makes my shoulders look.
Well, Will.
Congratulations.
I think you've done a fantastic job at planning this wedding.
I take my pants off to you.
You've gotta be kidding me.
The photographer's late.
Four people who RSVP'd "no" just arrived with dates.
And the cake shows up with two grooms on it.
Is the whole city gay ? Not yet.
But if all goes as planned, come Monday morning And look at these boutonnieres.
Dead.
- They're fine.
- They're dead, my friend.
Hey, hey, hey ! Sign that guest book ! Lady, you're a wreck ! But it's understandable.
Today's a big day for you.
You're not just losing a best friend, you're also losing a hag.
She's not my hag, okay ? She's the most important person in my life, who used to be in love with me, and who for the last 15 years has never left my side.
She's been a hell of a hag.
- Hey, Will.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Are you okay ? - Sure, why wouldn't I be ? 'Cause you're losing your girl.
You're single again.
Boy, I miss those days That can be arranged ! I'm joking ! I was joking.
But if you know anyone.
Knock, knock ! Oh, I'm here to see the daughter of the mother of the bride.
Come on in, mom, for one minute.
Now, Grace, I don't want you to freak out, but the biggest day of your life is ruined.
What ? Well, your father's back went out.
And he can't move.
How is he going to walk me down the aisle ? Dear, I don't know.
But we'll just put a pastrami sandwich and a TV Guide under the chuppah.
He'll find his way.
Honey.
Have Will walk you down the aisle.
Yeah, it'll be perfect.
Out with the 'mo, in with the Jew ! Will'll love that.
He looks so beautiful in his tux.
He's not gonna be the most beautiful one there, is he ? Oh, honey, come on ! Don't be silly.
That's crazy talk.
I'll be there.
Ladies, I said no poems.
There he is.
How you holdin' up ? You need a handshake ? I'm fine.
I'm fine.
Ellen, you make a beautiful bridesmaid.
Eight months pregnant Look at the dress she picks for me.
I hate that skinny bitch.
Maybe you oughta skip the guest book.
I know this is gotta be pretty hard on you.
- It's not hard on me.
- Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I'm going to really do my best to make Grace as happy as you have.
Well, plus sex.
What's the matter with everybody ? I'm fine.
- Will ? - I'm fine ! Grace needs you in the dressing room.
Oh, all right.
- What ? - Come here, chica ! - You're not wearing that, are you ? - Well, it's white.
Yeah, that's what I mean.
I didn't think I was going to be so nervous.
But I am.
I'm doing the right thing, right ? - Well - What ? Nothing.
No, I just I'm just saying As a friend, I want you to know that if you were thinking of calling it off, don't worry about the people out there.
Don't worry about all those gifts.
You do what your heart tells you is right.
- Are you freaking kidding me with this ? - "If", I said "if".
The question was rhetorical.
That means you're supposed to say "yes".
- That's not what "rhetorical" means.
- Are we talking about what "rhetorical" means or about how you're freaking me out ? Am I supposed to answer that or is that rhetorical too ? Okay, I don't have time for this, Will.
I have to get into my dress.
Who says that ? "Don't worry about the people, don't worry about all the gifts".
Who does that ? An ass, that's who ! It's a screen, not a soundproof booth.
Oh, isn't that sweet ? Will's doin' her one last time before he hands her off to Leo.
I just hope before I get married, he'll do the same for me.
Ditto.
Hey, Kar.
Can I kiss you ? - Why ? - Just 'cause.
Okay.
All I'm trying to say I just - Look at it from my point - Don't ! Let me tell you something, mister.
This wedding is going to happen.
You better get on board, because you've gotta walk me down the aisle.
- What ? - My dad threw his back out.
He's bent over like he's trying to pick up a quarter, which is probably how he threw out his back to begin with.
So I need you to walk me down the aisle.
I can't do that.
I'm running this show.
I got a million things to attend to.
Get Jack to do it.
I'm not having Jack walk me down the aisle.
He'll meet someone halfway down and ditch me ! - Well, then get Karen to do it.
- Karen ? When was the last time she could walk a straight line ? Besides, I don't want them.
I want you ! Well, I can't do it.
All right ? What do you mean, you can't do it ? I need someone to give me away.
You're my best friend.
I want it to be you.
It should be you.
I don't wanna.
You don't "wanna" ? Why not ? - Will ? - Look, Grace, I'll do a lot of things for you.
I'll plan your wedding.
I'll pick the florist.
I'll even let you have input on your dress.
But to actually be the one that that hands you off to another guy that I can't do.
Groom coming in.
I'm not looking.
Just wanted to make sure everything was okay in here.
People are starting to place bets.
Apparently, you've walked out on one of these before.
I didn't know about that, but that's cool.
- Look, Leo - Oh, God.
No.
No, we're getting married.
Just the thing is, Will and I need to take a little walk.
So could you just stall them, just a little bit ? Sure, sure, yeah.
Just as long as you remember that you and I have to take a little walk as well.
I'm a little bit nervous about that track record of yours.
You're gone, aren't you ? Okay, I guess this would be as good a time as any to tell you about that stripper at my bachelor party.
Grace, what are we doing up here ? This is ridiculous.
There is no way you're gonna talk me into this.
Stop.
Now let me talk, okay ? You know the story you always tell of when we first met ? The one that you told at the reception ? The fondue story ? I love how you tell it.
It's a wonderful story.
Well, I am a natural storyteller.
- Yeah.
Too bad it's crap.
- What ? That was the second time we met.
The first time was right here, on this roof, at Nancy Jacob's party.
Nancy Ja No, no.
- That was across from a juice bar.
- Paradise Juice.
Right over there, where that parking lot is.
Oh, typical.
They pave Paradise, and they put up a parking lot.
- You were here ? - Yup.
I thought you were the cutest guy I had ever seen.
So I came up to you, and I asked for a drink.
And you were so sweet, the way you held that funnel for me.
And then I stumbled back to Nancy and I said, "That's the man I'm going to spend the rest of my life with".
Well we say things when we're young.
I said Human League would be bigger than the Beatles.
Will, I may be getting married today, but when I said I was going to spend the rest of my life with you, I wasn't wrong.
- Well, except - No.
I wasn't wrong.
- Now let's jump.
- What ? Let's keep going, Thelma.
You were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar when I met you I picked you out and shook you up and turned you around, turned you into someone new Don't tell Leo I had the first dance.
Anybody lose one of these ? Hey, a little traveling music, please.
Honey, look at him.
After all these years, Will and Grace are finally getting married.
- Am I crying yet ? - Still no.
- How about now ? - No.
- Stick a pin in my arm.
- I am.
Here we go.
This may be a bad time to tell you this, but I'm straight.
Don't make me laugh.
I'm being photographed.
Take good care of her.
- Okay ? - I will.
Today we're here to celebrate the marriage of Grace Adler and Marvin Markus.
Leo.
Team W&G ~seriessub.
com~