Garfield and Friends (1988) s05e10 Episode Script

- (Announcer) Ladies and Gentlemen. Garfield and Friends.
We're We're ♪
Ready Ready ♪
To To ♪
Party!
We're ready to party
We're ready
I hope you bring lots of spaghetti ♪
Come on in
Come to the place where fun never ends ♪
Come on in
It's time to party with Garfield and Friends ♪
Dancing Fiesta ♪
Romancing Siesta ♪
Samba La Bamba ♪
Ay caramba
Disguises Disguises ♪
Surprises Surprises ♪
And pies of
And pies of all sizes
Come on in
Come to the place where fun never ends ♪
Come on in
It's time to party with Garfield and Friends ♪
Come on in
It's time to party with Garfield and Friends ♪
Garfield and Friends
- (Garfield) Reproduction of the accounts
and descriptions of this cartoon show
is prohibited.
("Garfield and Friends Theme")
(whimsical music)
Oh I'll put in some of this
and all of this
and a few more slices of this
and lots of this
and more of this
and I don't even know what this is
but it's in, and this.
There it is.
The perfect sandwich.
And I have to eat it.
- (Jon) Garfield.
Nermal is here.
- (Garfield) Lost my appetite.
I'm gonna control myself.
- (Nermal) What's wrong, Garfield?
Aren't you happy to see
the world's cutest kitty cat?
(groaning)
I know.
You can't believe
how much more adorable I've gotten
since my last visit.
(angry groaning)
Oh and I've learned a new trick.
See?
I lie on my back
and look like I want my tummy rubbed.
(yelling)
- (Garfield) That's it!
- (Nermal) Uh, Garfield
where are we going?
Garfield? Garfield?
Garfield, I don't like it in here.
Garfield!
(Egyptian music)
- To Abu Dhabi.
Please bend and fold.
Must be that cute kitten again.
(doorbell rings)
- (Jon) I'll get it.
- (Garfield) You'll get it.
- (Jon) Yeah?
Is that package for.
Garfield!
- (Garfield) He brought the package back.
I knew I should have put stamps on it.
- (Nermal) I'm back!
I'm going into the kitchen and get my steak.
- (Garfield) I don't care what you do.
I don't. I. Steak?
(cheerful humming)
- (Nermal) Garfield!
Garfield, that's not right.
- (Garfield) True.
I usually prefer medium rare.
But it will do.
Where'd you get this steak, Nermal?
- (Nermal) The mailman gave it to me
because I'm so adorable.
- (Garfield) You mean people just give you things
for being cute?
- (Nermal) Sure.
Don't they give you things?
- (Garfield) No.
- (Nermal) Come on!
I'll show you.
(upbeat music)
When you're as cute as I am
people just want to give you things.
Watch.
- (Garfield) This is ridiculous.
People aren't gonna
(tires screeching)
- (Woman) Why look at that adorable
cute kitty cat.
Here's a seven course gourmet dinner for you
cute kitty cat.
(car engine humming)
- (Nermal) Here, I'll show it to you again.
- (Man) Well, look at that incredible
cute kitty cat.
Here's a $50 savings bond, incredible cute kitty cat.
- (Garfield) I don't believe it.
- (Nermal) Once I got a matched set of luggage.
A trip to Rio.
And the Klopman Diamond.
- (Garfield) Wow.
If you can do it
I can do it.
One side.
Watch this.
(engines roaring)
(car horn blasting)
I am not giving up.
I'm sitting right here
until someone stops and gives me something.
- (Nermal) Two thousand
three hundred
and 10.
And.
- (Garfield) Hey, are you sure your count is accurate?
- (Nermal) That's not counting the tour bus of animal lovers
that sped up when they saw you.
- (Garfield) I am going to get someone to stop
and give me something
if it's the last thing you ever do.
See! See! He stopped.
- (Man) Here.
Throw this away, would ya?
- (Woman) That poor cat.
He looks so
so uncute.
- (Man) That's a cat?
Coulda fooled me.
- (Garfield) Okay.
So I'm not cute enough to get free stuff.
But I'm not missing out on the goodies.
- (Nermal) Where are we going, Garfield?
Where are you taking me?
- (Garfield) You'll see.
(polka music)
- Now who could that be?
Well what have we here?
My name is Nermal.
I am a cute kitten.
I eat lasagna.
Manicotti.
Rigatoni.
Linguini.
So on, so on, so on, so on.
Well, Nermal, since you're so cute.
I'll take you in and feed you.
- (Garfield) No, no, don't take him in.
Give him the food
so I can take it from him.
- Here I have more manicotti than I can finish by myself.
(Nermal moaning)
- (Nermal) That was delicious!
- (Garfield) Don't rub it in.
- (Nermal) He took me inside.
What could I do?
- (Garfield) At the next house
get the food and bring it out for me.
(sniffing)
Over there.
Thai cooking.
- I eat pad thai noodles.
Ginger shrimp.
Pork chow mein.
- (Garfield) With crispy noodles.
- Please give me lots of all this stuff to go.
No, you don't have to take it out, cute kitty.
I feed you inside.
(angry shrieking)
- (Garfield) Don't people know what it means
to eat out anymore?
She better not be giving him
those little dumpings with the stripes on 'em.
- (Woman) Here are those little dumplings
with the stripes on them.
(angry shrieking)
(gong crashing)
- (Nermal) It's not my fault
they won't give me the food
to give to you.
It was real good by the way.
- (Garfield) Shut up.
Okay.
I have a plan this time
to make sure that I get the eats instead of you.
(sniffing)
Barbecued ribs.
That way.
("Rock-A-Bye Baby")
- Well.
Who left this here?
I'm a cute kitten.
Don't waste time.
Take me in and give me ribs.
Well. Okay.
You are a very cute kitten.
Probably the cutest kitten I've ever seen.
I'll take care of ya.
- (Garfield) Okay.
Hey, hey, hey.
- (Nermal) That's not very nice, Garfield.
- (Garfield) When ribs are involved
I'm not very nice.
Give me the bonnet.
Now scram.
- We have a visitor for dinner, Madison.
A cute kitten.
- (Garfield) What a terrific idea.
I finally found a use for Nermal.
- (Madison) You are a cute kitten.
There's only one thing to do with cute kittens.
Mail 'em to Abu Dhabi.
- (Garfield) Hello. You can't!
Stop! I'm not cute.
I'm really not cute.
I'm as not cute as they come.
And besides
this is my idea!
To Nermal cat.
Having a miserable time.
Wish you were here.
You know the worst part of this?
It isn't that I'm 7,000 miles from home.
It isn't that there's no decent Italian restaurant
in all of Abu Dhabi.
It's that the whole place
is full of cute kittens
people have mailed here.
("Three Blind Mice")
Birds
in the mouse hole?
(birds chirping)
Something weird is going on here.
(mice squeaking)
This time share thing
is really gettin' out of hand.
("Garfield and Friends Theme")
- (Orson) May 8th, 1932.
We have been working on the new mine
for nearly six weeks now
and there seems to be no end to the vane.
I can continually remind myself
what a lucky find this was
and how it should keep us well supplied
for years to come.
- Hey, what ya readin', Orson?
- Oh, it's my grandfather's diary.
I found it here with all his belongings.
- Does he say anything in there about my grandfather?
- Well, let me see.
Oh, here.
The only problem I have is that my colleague William Duck
is terrified nearly every hour.
- Help! Help, oh help!
It is a monster.
It is a terrible, ugly, hairy monster!
A monster such as you have never seen.
Help!
Save me from the monster.
Save!
- That is not a monster.
That is a mouse.
- Well it is
a rather large mouse.
- Yep!
That's my grandpa alright.
- Maybe we should all go see
if we can locate the mine up in the hills.
- All?
All as in including Roy?
Ho ho, not I said the little red rooster.
- But Roy.
- Mining is hard work.
And if you think I'm gonna get calluses on my feathers
you've got another thing coming.
- What kind of mine is it, Orson?
- Well, let me see.
Imagine my surprise at discovering
the world's only chocolate mine.
- Chocolate mine?
- Chocolate mine?
- That's what it says.
Chocolate mine.
Too bad Roy doesn't want to go with us.
- Let's go! Let's go!
Non-stop to the chocolate mine.
(Roy laughs)
- Now according to this
the mine is up this way.
But boy, it's hot.
- Oh. Chocolate mine.
We're gonna find a chocolate mine.
- Roy, chocolate doesn't come from mines.
Chocolate is made out of cocoa beans and sugar and milk.
- Go on.
Be logical.
Stomp on a young rooster's life long dream.
- Boy, I feel just like my grandfather.
- You feel like a bold, intrepid miner?
- No, I feel like I passed away about 30 years ago.
Hoo hoo.
- Hey.
How come our brother's climbing a mountain?
- Somethin' doesn't smell right.
- Try bathing once in a while.
- I bathe every Halloween.
Whether I needs it or not.
- Come on you guys.
We gotta find out what our brother's up to.
- You smell like a pig.
- I am a pig.
- Well, maybe that's why you smell like one.
- I--
I cannot climb another inch.
- I can't wait 'til we find the chocolate.
- Roy.
Where is your knapsack?
- I put it in your's.
No point in both of us lugging these things up here.
- Oh yes.
(growling)
- Guys, come here!
According to my grandfather's diary.
His mine should be right here.
Behind these bushes.
Come on.
- I'll wait out here.
- There's an old shovel.
Somebody was digging in here.
- I can't wait.
- Well, you may have to.
It's a dead end.
- Wait. (sniffing)
You smell that? (sniffing)
Do you know what that smell is?
- It smells like
hot cocoa.
- It's chocolate!
One side, laughing boy.
I found the mother load!
Stay back and you won't get hurt.
- There can't be chocolate in this mine.
Can there?
Let me see what grandpa has to say about it.
Here it is.
June 9th, 1932.
I still do not understand
the existence of the chocolate in these mountains.
So I have engaged a chemist from a local village
to advise us.
- Hmmm.
It does appear to be chocolate alright.
- But I thought chocolate was made in a candy kitchen.
- Very astute. It is.
However, I have formulated a theory
as to why the impossible has happened here.
Would you take a gander up there please?
Someone year ago planned cacoa trees atop this mountain.
Trees ordinarily found in Africa and Middle America.
- Well, that is the tree
from which comes the cocoa bean.
- From which they make chocolate.
- Precisely.
Now this is just a theory on my part.
But supposing some fluke of nature occurred up there
say they were struck by lightning.
Perhaps electrically charged cocoa
was released into the ground
to combine with plants producing simple sugar.
- You think perhaps a one in a million chance?
- Well, it is just a theory.
But the chocolate appears to be fine.
And quite tasty I might add.
Go ahead and mine it.
Only you must stop and fill up the mine
before July 1st because.
- Orson, I found it!
I found it!
I've struck fudge!
Eureka and I reka!
We all reka!
- That is chocolate.
It's good chocolate too.
- The whole mountain is full of it.
And it's all ours for the mining.
- I'm not going in that cave.
Caves are full of bears
and spiders and pumas
and things with hair on them.
I had best keep a look out for vultures
and buzzards
and low flying commuter flights.
Let's see.
Gee, all I can see is a pair of ugly
bloodshot
beady eyes.
- Well that's funny
I see the same thing.
(babbling incoherently)
- Bye!
- Chocolate!
Lovely chocolate!
- Give me a hand with this, Roy.
- Tons of chocolate.
A whole mountain that's bad for your teeth.
- Now don't get too excited, Roy.
Something could still go wrong.
- What could go wrong?
- How about them showing up?
- That could be a problem. Yes.
- Let's see what kind of mine
(snorting)
our brother's been diggin'.
- Is it gold?
- Jewels?
(snorting)
- Better than that.
It's chocolate!
(yelling)
- Oh! My precious chocolate!
- Guys, if it's not too much trouble
could I have that book that's in there?
- Here.
- You wanna read at a time like this?
- I want to find out
why our ancestors said the mine had to be sealed up.
- Give me more chocolate.
- We've eaten it all.
- Let's go dig more in the mine.
(belching)
- Here it is.
- (Chemist) You must stop and seal up the mine
before July 1st because
- The hot July sun causes the chocolate to melt.
- Melt?
- What's today's date?
- July 1st.
(rumbling)
- Help!
(screaming)
- We gotta get outta here, Orson.
I have something important to do.
I have to find a whipped cream mine
so I can make the world's biggest hot fudge sundae.
Yahoo!
("Garfield and Friends Theme")
(blues music)
(car door closes)
- (Garfield) Jon's home.
What time did he go out on his date?
Eight o'clock right.
And what time is it now?
8:45
yeah that's about right.
- Hi guys.
- (Garfield) Things just didn't work out with Abigail.
- Things just didn't work out with Abigail.
- (Garfield) What a surprise.
- If anyone needs me
I'll be in my room for the rest of my life.
- (Skip) Are you having trouble finding the perfect date?
Are you a miserable failure when it comes to finding a mate?
- (Garfield) Jon.
Talkin' about 'cha.
- Then come be a contestant on Dream Date
and let our romance-o-matic computer
find you a great date or mate
while you wait.
- I could go on that TV show.
And they might find me my ideal woman.
- Just call the number on your screen
for an appointment.
- I'm calling! I'm calling!
- Mr. Arbuckle.
Have you filled out your application?
- Uh, yes, yes, I uh
I have them here
but I'm afraid I wrote in the space for office use only.
See I-- I'm a little
I'm a little ner-- whoops!
Oh gee oh!
- Calm down, Chief.
Look, I know the ratings have been down lately
but I have a great idea.
Leave it to me.
Now we just need to find the guy.
There must be some guy out there who's a.
- Here's your pen back.
Oh wait, oh, that's my pen.
(nervous laughter)
Or is it your pen?.
- I think we found
the guy.
- (Bob) Welcome to Dream Date!
The show that matches hopeless losers
with people who deserve better.
And now
here's the host of Dream Date.
Skip Yenta.
(audience applauding)
- Thank you, thank you.
And welcome to Dream Date.
Could we have our first pathetic failure, Bob?
- (Bob) He's an unemployed cartoonist
who enjoys throwing away shirt cardboards
and watching milk curdle.
Say hello to Jon Arbinkle!
- Arbuckle.
Jon Arbuckle.
(audience applauding)
- Well, Jon.
Welcome to Dream Date.
You're hoping to find the woman of your dream.
Aren't you?
- Well, I was hoping.
- Of course you are!
We've put every known fact about you on this card.
Yeah.
And now the computer will find your perfect woman.
Watch the 786 romance-o-matic
do it's thing.
(beeping)
The romance-o-matic is hard at work
studying the profiles of 72,000 eligible bachelorettes.
And here we are.
The computer has selected as your dream date.
- (Garfield) Bet you she weights 300 pounds
and has bolts in her neck.
(nervous groaning)
- Ursula Fencedermacher.
(audience cheering)
- (Garfield) She's
she's human.
- We're going to send you the two of you
out on a dream date tonight
and want you to come back here tomorrow night
and tell us how it went.
- We will.
- How about that, folks?
Why it wouldn't even surprise me if
by tomorrow night
he was asking her to marry him.
- (Garfield) Marry?
Jon's just dumb enough to do it.
- They gave us tickets to a fancy restaurant.
- Oh, just being with you
is enough for me, Jonny.
(laughing)
- (Garfield) Stop that car!
Too late.
I hope he uses his brains.
Like there's a chance of that happening.
- You're worried about your friend, kitty?
Well, you should be.
He's being set up for a trick.
A nasty, rotten trick.
She's gonna get him to propose marriage on the show
and then she can dump him in front of everyone.
My boss thinks it will be a real ratings grabber.
Seeing a guy's heart broken on national TV.
Now this is where they're going tonight.
I was gonna go there and try to warn him but.
- (Garfield) Come on, Odie.
(Odie barks)
- Let's see.
All these words in French.
- Would the monsieur like me to translate?
- Oh, no, no, not necessary.
We'll have the Alphonse Dorray.
- Monsieur has just ordered the name of our chef.
I will just bring you two cheeseburgers
- No wait.
(laughing)
- Cheeseburgers is just fine, Jonny.
Everything's fine about you.
- Well gosh I.
- No one's looking.
How about giving me a little kiss?
- Uh, yeah, sure!
Ursula, you need to shave.
Garfield!
(shrieking)
- (Garfield) Hey, I know I'm adorable but.
- That's my cat.
I'm sorry, Ursula.
He wasn't suppose to be here.
- Oh, honey.
It's alright, Jonny.
Here
try some of this escargot.
- (Garfield) Snails!
There's snails on your plate.
I'll get 'em.
Boy, you'd think in a nice place like this.
- You're leaving.
- (Garfield) This is for your own good.
- Oh no!
- (Garfield) Dessert tray coming.
(screaming)
Mmm. Lemon mousse.
(audience cheering)
- (Bob) And here's the host of Dream Date.
Skip Yenta.
- Thank you. Thank you.
Well on yesterday's show
you saw sad cartoonist Jon Arbinkle
out with his ideal woman and uh.
- (Ursula) Let me out there!
- Well.
Here's the happy couple now.
- Happy?
Huh!
I never had a worst night in my life thanks to you!
- Don't you two want to get married?
- Oh, well, I.
- To this jerk and his cat?
It's all rigged.
I was supposed to get this guy to fall for me
then dump him on live television.
- Ursula, calm down.
- I won't calm down after what I've been through.
This show is fixed!
The whole thing.
I mean it's rigged.
- (Announcer) We're experiencing difficulty.
We will return to Dream Date in a moment.
Maybe.
- I should have known.
A woman liking me.
It had to be phony.
I should listen to you, Garfield, you know?
If you ever happen to see a woman who
does like me
let me know.
Give me one of these.
- (Garfield) You've got it.
- Um, Mr Arbuckle?
- Yeah.
- I thought that was a really rotten trick
they tried to play on a nice guy like you.
- Thanks.
Well, let's go guys.
(organ playing)
Oh.
Ohhhh!
Well thank you.
Say
would you like to get a pizza, Miss?
- Judy.
I work here.
That is I used to work here.
- (Garfield) New rule of the show, pup.
Every nine weeks we do a happy ending.
Come on.
Let's go steal their pizza.
(barks)
("Garfield and Friends Theme")