iCarly s05e10 Episode Script

We're back.
Okay Here's another question we got at iCarly.
Com Which says "Last night, I dreamt "that Gibby could fly.
"Would you guys please make my dream come true?" Yes.
- Ready Gibbles? - Call it.
Fly!!! Weee!! I'm a bird! I'm a bird! Ha, ha.
- Oh my God! - I'm flying!! Look at him fly! Gibby's flying! Ha, ha.
Whoa.
Wee!! Ha, ha.
I'm a Gibbeh Uhhh Now Freddie's gonna say something.
Hey there.
Let's chat while Carly and Sam safely drag Gibby away.
SoHow ya been? I like baseball.
You tell your mother you tripped and fell down the stairs.
Understood.
Okay.
- We're back! - Gibby's fine.
Not really! And that's it for iCarly tonight.
- That is not it.
- Gib, c'mon What is this, another intervention? - Noooo - Nuh-uh We're here to congratulate my best friend, Sam Because she hasn't gotten into any kind of trouble - Zero trouble - For 10 whole days.
It's true! And it's the first time that's happened since I was four.
Well, we invited a very special guest to come here today.
And give you a very special reward.
Who?! The mayor of Seattle! Mayor Mustachio! Ha, ha, ha.
Greetings ye citizens! Samantha Puckett, as fake mayor of Seattle, I shall grab my lapel as I hereby, henceforth, hither to and fro Yeah, yeah, what do I get? Sam, for going 10 full days without getting into any trouble, I present to you This box of raisins - Okaaay.
- This bag, I got from a dog Walker.
Ooo, still warm.
And this movie, directed by David Schwimmer Also still warm.
And this.
What's the No way, shut up! We shall not shut up.
- Tell the fans whatcha got.
- Yes.
Sam Puckett, this ticket is good for a V.
I.
P.
Tour.
Of the canadian fat cake factory! Canadian fat cakes aren't even allowed in America.
And I've heard they're like way better than American fat cakes! What do you have to say about all this, Mayor Mustachio? I say My mayor trousers are too tight in the crotch! - That's charming.
- I didn't need to know that.
- Yeah, brilliant.
- Whoa, oh, okay.
In 5, 4, 3, 2 I know, you see somehow the world will change for me and be so wonderful live life, breathe air I know somehow we're gonna get there and feel so wonderful it's all for real I'm tellin' you just how I feel so wake up the members of my nation it's your time to be there's no chance unless you take one and a time to see the brighter side of every situation some things are meant to be so give it your best and leave the rest to me leave it all to me leave it all to me leave it all to me just leave it all to me Why are you bringing a big suitcase? We're just going to Canada for the day.
Yeah so I brought some hair care products, some extra batteries, a change of underpants Is that a problem? No.
That's what I thought.
C'mon guys.
We gotta hit the road.
We don't have to be at the fat cake factory 'til one.
- Yeah, but it's a two-hour drive, we gotta go through security at the border.
Why? It's not like Canada's a different country.
Yes, it is.
I thought it was like Idaho.
Idaho is a state In our country.
Look, I don't need a lecture.
You sure you're not gonna come? I want to but I already bailed on Lance twice and he's really cool.
And if I bail again, he's gonna think I don't like him, and I really do like him.
Besides, I haven't kissed a guy in four months, I'm gettin' itchy.
What time's your date? Handsome Lance is picking me up at five o'clock.
With his car.
So what are you gonna do 'til then? Probably take a long hot bath, and I'll blow my hair out, maybe I'll do my nails - Bye.
- Late.
- See ya.
- Gibbehh.
-This dirtbag, call our toll-free hotline Nah.
Next on the dingo channel! She sings! He dances! And they're both identical twin ninjas! So stay tuned for twinjas! You think I purposely got the peruvian puff peppers, knowing you'd steal them from me and use them in your own salsa? Seen it.
- I got stuck my foot in.
- Now, what on Yay, the Vintage network.
- Let me have the foot.
- It's stuck! - How's that one? - C'mon.
A lady can't get her big toe stuck in a faucet.
- What for? - Tell me Is that toe similar to the one that's stuck in the pipe? Well, of course it is! Why? Wouldn't want to nip off any of this little piggie.
Man Sitcoms are so much better now.
In Out.
Duh.
In Out.
In No Noooo Stupid overly realistic sitcoms.
Okay, okay Just gotta stay calm Got tons of time before Lance gets here Just gotta be calm, sooner or later, someone'll come in here, help me get my toe unstuck and And see me naked!!! Uhhh Uhhh My sweatshirt! Here in Canada, we produce over 65 per cent of the world's fat cakes.
Thank you, Canada! Now this is one of our central fat cake production areas.
In just this room alone, over ninety-five thousand fat cakes are injected with cream.
And sent through for packaging every day.
- What do you think of that? - I think they're beautiful.
M mm momma's home.
She really likes fat cakes.
Yes.
You all are from America, right? - U.
S.
A.
- estados unidos.
Gibbehh.
Well have you ever tried a canadian fat cake? - N-no sir.
'Cuz our intrusive federal government made 'em illegal.
Are canadian fat cakes as magical as people say? - Magicaler.
- What makes 'em so amazing? They're made with pure cane fat.
Right.
In America we use corn fat.
I'm the tour guide! I say the words! Sorry.
- Wow, angry canadian.
- You don't see that very often.
Now which of you Americans would like to be the first.
To try a canadian fat cake? Hey, I wouldn't mind bein' May I? - Okay, Sam take a bite - Shut up!!! I need to focus.
Oh Ohhh Ohhhhh It's really good, huh? It's so much better than good.
It's like eating a fat angel.
Okay I just gotta get my pear phone And then I can call for help.
I'm comin' for you, phone.
I do throw like a girl.
Okay, put a little more sauce on this one I'll put a little less sauce on this one.
Okay.
Are you Americans ready to inject some fat cakes? - Oh yes.
- Yes.
So what's in these bags? We call them "fat bags.
" Each one contains two kilos of our creamy filling.
Now, you just insert the nozzle - Insert the nozzle! - Into the fat cake - Into the fat cake! - And then squeeeeeeze the sack until the fat cake I'm gonna need another fat bag.
All right c'mon! I've hit everything else.
Yes! Yes! Good throw, me.
There it is! Now, come to Carly Easy Eeeeaaasssyyyy Remember how cute Lance is Aaaaannnd gotcha! Woooooo!!! Okay.
Now I just call Wendy and tell her to come over and Well, there's no app for that.
C'mon, let's just drive across the border and go home.
We can't.
It's illegal to cross the border without letting these people check our stuff, - and our passports - Blehh blehh blehh blehhhh.
I know you have a crush on me.
- What? - Nothin'.
So if Idaho wanted to be its own country could it? I guess they could try But it'd probably start another civil war.
War? War is wack.
Well said, my friend.
- Canadian fat cake? - GibbyYou gotta get rid of that.
- Is that a canadian fat cake? - Yeah, I got a few of 'em.
Dude, you can't bring those across the border into America.
- They're illegal in the U.
S.
- okay! - Now throw 'em away! - Before you make these border cops suspicious! I get it! - Come on.
- You guys, come get in line.
Whoa large dog.
Whoa.
Okay, good dog, go on now Nothing to smell here Miss, are you crossing the border into America? Uhhh 'Scuze me is there a problem with these kids Who may or may not be with me? Are you crossing the border into America? Yeah, I'm about to.
Go on now, puppy shoo He probably just smells my dog on me.
- You don't have a dog.
- I will hurt you with a brick.
- Check her coat.
- What? No, no, no, no.
No need to check my coat.
I appreciate your concern.
That's Fat cakes.
Whaaaaaaaat?! Let go of me Spencer! W Okay.
That's all the fat cakes she had on her.
Look at that.
That's gotta be twenty-five kilos.
What did you plan to do with all these fat cakes? Well, mustache, I was gonna put 'em in my face, chew 'em a little, send 'em on a trip down to my stomach And I think we all know what would happened to 'em after that.
And now a sip for you.
- Dogs really like you.
- Yeah.
Dogs and girls with low self-esteem.
Are you miss Puckett's guardian? Uh, well Actually, I'm her Attorney.
Y'know lawyer? - You're a lawyer? - Are you gonna check? - No.
- Yeah I'm a lawyer.
And I demand to know why my client is being detained.
Because she attempted to smuggle over a hundred canadian fat cakes.
Across the border into the United States.
Which is illegal.
Oh.
And she called me a dumb wazz bag.
- I object! - So did I.
I don't even know what a wazz bag is.
Well if you had a bag And you, you know, needed to wazz, then it'd be He doesn't need to know.
C'mon, please let me go home.
I'm just a sweet little girl who got caught up with a bad crowd.
How'd you get those handcuffs off? Just a trick I learned in juvie.
I demand that miss Puckett be released on the grounds.
That section c If you'll shut up, we will release her.
But I say what? - You're really gonna let me go?! - That's right.
So basically you hassled me for nothing? See, this is the kind of chiz that Uhhh, my client accepts your terms and will now happily shut her face.
- No, they harassed me over- - shut her f'hace.
Just go over there, show your ids, and you can all enter the United States.
Gibbehh - That's you? - Yeah, I know.
The long hair was a bad call.
"Fredward".
Go ahead.
You're on iCarly, right? You know, I also write a blog about card tricks.
- Gibby, come on.
- How come no one asks about my blog?! - Passport? - I don't have a passport.
- Do you have a driver's license? - A real one? - Yes.
- No.
- School id? - Threw it at a bird.
- Library card? - Who is this guy? Library card.
- You can't re-enter America unless you can prove you're a U.
S.
citizen.
Dude, I promise she is.
Can't you just ask her some question so she can prove it? Fine.
Who was the first U.
S.
president? The father of our country? Abraham Franklin? That's not it? Heelllpppp! Heelllpppp! I have a cute date in less than thirty minutes! Heelllpppp!! Helfen-meer! Helfen-meer!! Nah, I'm just ironing Freddie's underwear.
No we're not renting bowling shoes.
Because I refuse to put my feet in public footwear.
Oh, that spray doesn't do anyth Wait I hear something peculiar.
Heellpp!!! Heelllpppp! Heellpp!! Hellpp!! Ossy-stonce! Anyone! Pleeeaaase! A cute boy is gonna be here any minute.
And I'm all wrinkled like an elderly raisin! Awww! This day could not get worse!!! - Ulch, it's you.
- Mrs.
Benson! Will you stop banging and screaming?! I heard you all the way in my apartment! - That was the point!!! - Oh.
You bathe in your sweatshirt too? I thought I was the only one.
I don't bathe in a sweatshirt! I got my toe stuck in the faucet! - How? - I saw some dumb person do it on the Dick van dyke show.
Come on, could you please just help me get it out? All right, I'll give it a yank.
Ready? Okay, just be really careful, okay? - Ahhhh! - Owwwwww! - Ahhhh! - Owwwwww! - Ahhhh! - Owwwwww! - Ahhhh! - Owwwwww! - Am I hurting you? - No, I love it! - Hey, is everything all right? - Lance! Sorry I heard screaming so I thought I should come up.
Put your hands down! Who's the boy? My date.
Hey.
Heyyyy.
- Oh, man, this is bad.
- Yeah, for you.
- Me? - You're the adult! You're the one who brought Sam to Canada.
And now can't get her back home! I know! I'd be in serious trouble if she had a parent who cared.
True.
But still, we gotta figure Okay, let's get across that border and head home.
- Dude - We're not just gonna leave Sam in Canada.
Shhhh! We're not gonna leave her.
- Are we across the border yet? - Not yet.
Well hurry! - Okay, let's go.
- Oh my gosh, it's Gibby! Can I have your autograph?! Please please please? Uhhhh here it goes again.
Hurry, just do it! Yes! Uh you know I'm part of iCarly, too.
You are? Yeah, I work the camera, do the Ooo, awesome! Here, take a pic of me with Gibby! Hold this please.
Gibbeh!! I don't take my shirt off anymore.
You should! Kids love it! All right, in five four three two click.
- Gibby? - Okay, let's get outta here.
- Grab Sam, let's go.
- Ooo.
Sam's light.
- Come on! - U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! - Come on.
Really? - It's true.
Your sister's eighteen and she doesn't have her driver's license? - Nope.
- That's so sad! Yeah, she's lame.
- But you know who's not lame? - Who? - You.
Well, if you two are gonna kiss, go on and do it before I fire up this power saw.
Aw, that's nice.
Just yell if I hit bone! Thank you for flying air Malaysia.
We will be landing shortly.
Freddie?! Spencer?! Gibby?! Are we still in Canada?!