Magnum, P.I. (1980) s05e10 Episode Script
Luther Gillis: File #001
Higgins, did you wanna hire me personally? Yes, but I'm gonna need a little assistance, that's all.
Sort of a legman.
You are simply to be his "legman", as he describes it.
The day I'm Tom Magnum's legman is the day I sit on a street corner selling pencils and drinking cheap pink out of a paper bag.
I am going inside with you.
You don't know anything about cowboy joints.
You could get into serious trouble.
Every time I do a favor for the big guy, I end up in this dump.
Payday.
I'm well aware of that.
Why in blazes do you think I Here.
Thank you.
I'll see you next time.
Same place.
No cops.
Please What? How much longer? I asked you how much longer.
Happiness is a relative state, especially as it applies to the delicate subjects of work and obligations.
It's a constant turmoil, and that's where the big "O" comes in.
Obligations.
Like in whether you take a case because of the money, because of friendship and loyalty, or simply because you have to.
Well, after three weeks on a tough case on the North Shore, all that was irrelevant.
I was happy.
That's because all my obligations were part of the past.
Or the distant future.
At any rate, I wasn't going to worry about them.
I finally was going to just rest and kick back.
Hey, Thomas, where have you been? I really need your help.
I got a problem you just wouldn't believe.
Thomas, you got to help me! What, Rick? I got a chance to go out tonight with Belinda Kowalski, but the catch is she won't go unless I find somebody to double with her roommate, Geraldine.
Please, pal, you got to come.
You got to help me.
I'm in love.
Please.
What do you say? No.
Thank you.
Hello, Magnum.
I trust you're well.
Good.
I need a favor done of an investigative nature.
I assume you are free? Good.
A very close friend of mine owns a majority interest in Kaimuki Savings and Loan.
Apparently, someone in the real estate loan department has been doing some long-term embezzling of the firm's funds.
Consequently, it's been arranged for you to begin work there tomorrow, under the guise of a loan officer, to attempt to ferret out the culprit.
No one in the office will be aware of your true identity, since all employees are suspect.
Please report to Ms.
Cathcart, the officer manager, at 8:00 sharp.
She's expecting you.
Further instructions from me will be on your computer.
Your personal access code is "Rosebud".
Thank you, Magnum, and good luck.
Yuck.
Hello, Magnum.
Robin again with a further reminder.
Please wear a suit and tie.
Polyester, if possible.
Bye now.
Come in.
Higgins.
Yes, you are quite correct, Magnum.
You knocked? Of course I knocked.
What civilized gentleman wouldn't? You never knock.
You always just barge right in.
You sick or something? Feeling okay? I'm feeling quite fine, Magnum.
And I'm not here to discuss my health.
I am here to approach you about a case.
Oh! I know.
You know? Of course, I know.
My God.
How could you It's all here on the answering machine.
Robin told me.
And yes, I will clean up and wear a tie, I promise.
But I draw the line at wearing a polyester suit.
Mr.
Masters hired you on a case? Yeah.
That's right.
Kaimuki Savings and Loan.
Oh, I think Robin didn't want to wait for you to tell me.
I know I've been gone a lot Higgins? Higgins, did you wanna hire me personally? Yes, but It's relatively unimportant, and in as much as you are already disposed, I'm sure I can make other arrangements.
After all, I'm sure it's something that any semi-competent detective could do.
Forget I brought it up, Magnum.
Wait, wait, wait, Higgins.
You've never wanted to hire me, I mean I guess you've come to appreciate me for the professional that I am.
I'm gonna help you, pal.
Well All right then.
Thank you.
However, even though, as I've said, the case itself is relatively unimportant Wait.
Wait.
This isn't something stupid, is it? Like the trisected Paulo worm or the kudu buck? Nevertheless, you should be cautioned that the matter requires the greatest discretion and tact, qualities which in the past you have been sorely lacking.
However, at the moment I have no other recourse, so My situation began some 30 years ago Higgins, before you go on, I think there is something that I should tell you.
What? Well, because of my other commitment to Robin, I can only handle this case in a sort of supervisorial fashion.
What is it you are attempting to say, Magnum? If you're not going to No, I am, I am.
I'll be right on top of it.
It's just that because of this other Savings and Loan thing, I'm gonna need a little assistance, that's all.
Sort of a legman.
If you're contemplating using Rick or T.
C No, no, no, not Rick or T.
C.
Then who? Well, it's someone with a real private investigator's license.
Who? Someone with a great deal of discretion and tact.
Who? Someone who'll be just right.
Who? Does the phrase, "Stuff it, Scrungo" ring a bell? Oh, my God.
Hiya, kiddos.
Name's Gillis, Luther.
You remember me.
I'm the big-time, big-city gumshoe from Saint Louis.
The one that keeps having to come out to the Big Pineapple to save the neck of my brother P.
I.
, Tom Magnum.
Anyway, I was getting so good at it, I guess he kind of felt obligated, especially when I told him that my secretary, Blanche, quit waiting for me to tie the knot and ran off with this encyclopedia salesman guy.
I had to close the office and everything.
But who cares? Her loss.
I could tell that the big guy felt awful about it, too, 'cause even though he wouldn't let me stay with him, 'cause they're remodeling the mansion or something, he did promise me and cross his heart that he'd swing the next extra case my way.
Even gave me a line on this neat office.
What a prince.
And he even came through with the case.
Holy cow, I expected some action.
But this fast? Hey, my pal Tom Magnum delivers, even if it was just the butler cat.
But a case is a case.
I think I'll call this one File 001.
My maiden voyage here in Banana Land.
Hey, you're right on time.
Which is more than can be said for you.
Additionally, how dare you leave the phone number of the estate on your office door where anyone off the street can copy it? How dare you? Gee, I'm sorry.
I didn't think you'd mind.
Mind? Mind? Mr.
Masters' private line.
The red phone.
Why would I mind? How in bloody hell did you get it? I probably jotted it down the last time I was by.
I only did it because I didn't have time to go to the phone company and have one put in yet.
Hey, big deal.
It'll only be for a few days.
Hardly.
I'll have it changed immediately.
Now, may we proceed? Certainly.
You were doing a pretty good job of explaining it on the phone till I ran out of dimes.
Now, there's only one thing I don't understand.
Just one? Hey, do you want me to handle this or not? You're not handling it.
Magnum is.
You are simply to be his "legman", as he describes it.
Yeah, yeah.
The day I'm Tom Magnum's legman is the day I sit on a street corner selling pencils and drinking cheap pink out of a paper bag.
Now, let's get on with it.
Gladly.
Now, what is it that you do not understand? Now, why didn't you tell the lady in England she was being blackmailed? Perhaps the concept of honor is an alien one to you, as is the one, "gentleman".
Hey Nevertheless, under no circumstances should Elizabeth Andrews be made aware of the situation.
She is a member of the House of Commons, and her career would be in ruins if there were the slightest inkling that she had had an illegitimate son.
As a matter of fact, Elizabeth Mrs.
Andrews is frequently mentioned as a potential candidate for prime minister from her party.
Oh, yeah? I'm real impressed.
Except how could she be the mother of a country when she can't be the mother of her kid? Unless it ain't her kid.
I beg your pardon? What I'm saying is, what if this Eric fellow ain't hers? If only that were so.
But the blackmailers have presented me with empirical evidence.
Birth certificates, medical and school records, adoption papers.
The child is undoubtedly hers.
How come they came to you in Hawaii instead of her in England? Well, obviously Obviously, it's somebody who you bought.
Someone out of your past.
The only person I've had any contact with is the Go on, say it.
Bagman.
Let me tell you something, Hig.
Blackmail's an ugly business.
You got to get used to it.
I did.
Now let me get some more facts.
How old is the little nipper? Thirty.
Months? Years.
The assignation in question took place in Mrs.
Andrews' youth, when she was a young woman growing up in Kenya.
It must have been awfully Ionely out there on the veldt.
Hey, you mess around, you got to pay the piper.
I know, believe me.
I'm sure you do.
Damn right.
Look, your lady friend's in trouble, we're gonna help her.
But don't try to convince me she's some kind of saint.
She's a broad.
All the same.
So are kidnappers and extortionists.
None of them like to be kept waiting.
So let's go.
They're all the same.
So are private investigators.
Pull over.
I think I'm gonna toss my cookies.
T.
C: Pull over where? Anywhere, but do it fast.
T.
C: Oh, no.
I'm sorry.
T.
C: Sorry? It's bad enough that I let Magnum con me into flying you all over the place, but now I got to - Please, shut up.
Here comes the Mongolian beef.
T.
C: Okay, okay, okay, okay.
At least there are no bullet holes.
All right, we're here.
Hey, you know, this is kind of neat once you get used to it.
I never pulled a tail in an aeroplane before.
Chopper.
You know, it's kind of nice when get used to it.
It kind of reminds me of Don't look at me.
I'm just Tom Magnum's legman.
Okay, I know what you're thinking.
Maybe I shouldn't have given the case to Luther.
Maybe this was something really serious.
But on the other hand, I kind of doubted it.
Because on closer examination, even T.
C.
Had to admit that the bullet did not come from the car he and Luther were tailing.
It came from behind them.
Probably pakalolo growers.
Therefore, I didn't have any qualms about Luther continuing with whatever Higgins' little problem was.
Especially since I was going to be really tied up with this important embezzlement case for Robin.
I figured as long as I was telling Luther what to do, he'd be okay.
Kind of like following in my footsteps.
Put it on my tab.
You don't have a tab.
Who cares? The big guy does.
Find anything out yet from Ice Man? It's Ice Pick.
What's the difference? The guy's a bum.
I'm kind of inclined to sneak into his steam bath and snap his towel.
You know what I mean? I wouldn't do that if I were you.
Oh, yeah? Hi, Hig, what's shaking? Absolutely nothing, except for the fact that you're off the case.
Hello? You and Magnum.
I should have known the situation was too delicate to entrust to a detective who sublets.
I will endeavor now Hey, hey, what are you talking about? We're just getting started here.
Fortunately, you won't be around to finish.
I'll send Magnum a check.
He can divide it with you anyway he likes.
No.
They can divide it with me.
$833.
97.
That's how much a new plate is gonna cost you.
Put it on the big guy's tab.
His tab is history.
Quite.
Let me tell you guys something.
Nobody takes a shot at Luther Gillis or his pals and gets away with it.
Nobody.
That ain't a part of life.
That's why I'm gonna find the crud who shot your aeroplane and the crud who's blackmailing your lady friend if I have to go to the end of the earth or I can't crawl anymore.
Luther H.
Gillis finishes what he starts.
All I need is a clue.
Cal's Country Bar and Billiard Den.
West Kilauea Street.
That's where the guy hangs out.
There's an old saying.
I think it was by me, that a private eye is only as good as the kind of clues and the kind of clients he's got to work with.
On this case, I figured it was about 50-50.
Pretty good clue, so-so client.
Now, you wait here.
I'll be right back.
I'm not waiting anywhere.
I am going inside with you.
You can't go inside.
I should've never let you talk me into coming along in the first place, but I But you are indeed lucky to still be employed, Mr.
Gillis.
Furthermore Furthermore, you don't know anything about cowboy joints.
You could get into serious trouble.
Nonsense.
I'm quite conversant with the ways of the West.
How? How? Did you grow up on Tom Mix and Hopalong Cassidy at the Bijou? Did you? Did you? I know just how to talk to these guys.
They'll tell me where Warren is.
They certainly ain't gonna tell any old limey.
Who you calling a limey, boy? Where'd you learn to talk like that? Let's just say it's a family trait.
Brew.
Two.
Howdy, partners.
Name's Elmo Ziller.
I poke from Hondo, Texas.
This here's my partner, Hubert.
How about a friendly game to pass the time? I ain't got no quarter.
You got any quarters, Artie? Nope.
Sure don't, Dexter.
I ain't had no quarters since last Thursday when that feller and his monkey come through.
Yeah.
Sucker sure could dance.
We're out of quarters till payday.
When's payday? Never.
We was just fired off from the Double-D over the Ewa way.
Double-D? Never heard of it.
What'd you raise, stock or ponies? Fish.
It's a tuna fish boat.
Now, how about that game? You got it, son.
Rack them up, Hubert.
Right.
What you all know about a good old boy, name of Warren? Break them, stranger.
Say, why don't we make this interesting? Like 20 bucks' worth of interesting? Eight ball in the side pocket.
That's the way to do it.
That's real nice shooting.
Just lucky, I guess.
Yeah.
You know, Elmo and I ought to be getting before we plumb run out of the money we owe poor old Warren.
You got a point, Hubert.
These boys here are just too good.
Where'd you say Warren was? Didn't.
But you might could find him around the Double-D about midnight.
Fishing at midnight? He's the dock watchman.
Great.
Well, thanks, boys.
Elmo and I ought to be moseying along.
Wait a sec, Hubert.
How about one more game, Dex? Just give me one last chance to get some of my money back.
Sure.
I think that's only fair.
How much? $500.
Rack them up, Hubert.
Eight ball in the corner.
Hey! - What? Oh, my God.
- Get off the table.
Say, they don't talk like that in Hondo.
Nobody trips Luther Gillis! Come on, Hig, let's get out of here.
Hey, help us! Get them! Hurry! Hurry! My God, man, they're going to I can't.
I left the keys in the bar.
Let me see what I can do about these applications.
Everything seems to be in order.
Mr.
Magnum, please.
I'm sorry.
Sorry.
That's Mrs.
Cathcart.
She is the office manager.
I have to pretend you need a loan for your medical bills.
Listen, big guy, you're getting half the retainer on this one and we're taking all the lumps.
That's because I am the supervising investigator.
Be that as it may, Magnum, we've come up with a lead.
The known whereabouts of the man I've been dealing with.
Now, I suggest we go speak with him.
Yeah, tonight, when he's on duty down at the Double-D docks.
We'll go down and stuff his gills.
We can't go down and stuff his gills.
Why not? You chicken? Not really, Luther.
It just appears that this case is neither fish nor fowl.
I refuse to sit here any longer and subject myself to this childishly inane behavior.
Furthermore Sit down.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm just a little dingy.
I've been working on this very important case for Robin all day and tomorrow I will get to your "relatively unimportant" case.
Your words.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Please sit down.
Please.
Now, we can't go down to the docks because I have to work on the bank computer all night.
I mean, there's a time clock running on this embezzling thing, and if you can give me till tomorrow, then I'll go down and see this Warren guy myself.
How? He'll be off work by then.
I'll get his address out of the computer.
He's got to have a bank account somewhere.
Come on, you guys did the legwork.
Leave the sophisticated part of the case to me.
Very well.
Okay.
You guys go home, get some rest and we'll touch base tomorrow.
And don't forget those pesky little IRS statements.
I'll drop you off at your office.
Yeah.
Thanks.
Where you going? The estate.
You're lying.
I beg your pardon? You're lying.
You're thinking about heading down to the dock.
You're thinking that Magnum's not gonna do anything but play with his computer all night.
And that ain't doing your common lady friend a damn bit of good.
It would be unfair to ask you to take that risk.
Big deal.
Who cares? I was born taking risks.
Besides, I'm kind of thinking about a lady, too.
Blanche? Your daughter Nancy? Your first wife? All of them.
Let's go.
Boy, this place stinks.
Kind of reminds me Here we are.
Where is he? Don't worry, Zorba.
I'll make him come to us.
How? Fifteen men on a dead man's chest, yo ho ho And a bottle of rum My God.
Anchors aweigh my boys What are you doing? I'm trying to find Warren.
I think you just did.
Freeze.
You're under arrest! I want out of this hole now! Look, I've been in much worse, I can assure you.
Calcutta, '49, and '50.
Who cares? Every time I do a favor for the big guy I end up in this dump.
I hate it.
It's like going home for Christmas.
The only difference is, neither the big guy nor the suicidal bum, Scrungo, is here.
Instead, I'm stuck with you.
I'm disgusted.
The feeling is mutual, I assure you.
Yeah, well, that goes double for me.
I should've never taken you with me in the first place.
That was mistake number one.
The first of many.
Oh, yeah? Yeah.
Obviously, your primitively crude surveillance techniques forced the blackmailers to, one, take a shot at you in the helicopter to try to dissuade you from tailing Warren, and two, that failing, they had no choice but to kill him when you loudly announced your intentions in the cowboy bar.
Don't you loudly intentions me, buster! I didn't make the run on that table and make those guys crazy.
I was willing to leave with the info.
Neat and clean.
Now look where we are.
Incarcerated.
"Discretion and tact".
Hogwash.
Speaking of hogwash, did you get ahold of your shyster yet? They're trying to track him down at the Polo Club.
The Polo Club? Well, hoity-toity-toity.
What do we do till then, rot? I was hoping I would never have to see you ever again, Mr.
Gillis.
Likewise.
I must have been a pretty bad person in my previous life.
You couldn't be worse than a copper.
Or a private eye.
Nevertheless, I have my duty.
You're new at this, Hig.
This is where he threatens us with a murder rap unless we answer some questions.
Yeah.
Questions like, what was your relationship to the deceased? I've never seen the gentleman before in my life.
Then what were you doing down at the waterfront? It was late and we were hungry.
Him I could expect this from.
But you, you, Jonathan Higgins? Never.
There's always a first time, Lieutenant.
I want answers.
What about Warren Brummer? I think he was working for scale.
I'm warning you both.
Maybe I can't make a murder charge stick, but I can yank your license, Gillis.
As for you, Higgins, I can call the newspapers and make your life awfully miserable and awfully public.
Who cares? Why don't you go dust the fish for some prints? Meanwhile, if you're not gonna press charges, aloha.
Ditto.
Here's where he says Don't leave town! I told you to wait for me.
I told you! But no, you had to force things.
Big deal.
The crud's dead.
We need a new lead.
Now you do.
Now all this information I pulled out on Warren Brummer is irrelevant.
How'd you get this stuff? This is a bank.
I have a friend in the prosecuting attorney's office.
Carol let our computers talk to each other.
Bank robbery, extortion, bigamy.
Gee, that's too bad.
Who's gonna let all his wives know he's dead? What now? Well, my guess is Brummer was killed because you two got too close to him.
And whoever the blackmailers are, they just didn't want to get rousted just yet.
What a genius.
They'll probably wait a little while and contact you.
Start all over again.
Why didn't you wait? It ain't my nature.
Besides, the butler didn't want to wait either.
Well, at least you're not up on misdemeanor trespassing charges.
Tanaka called.
The owner of the Double-D, Dan Davies, he's not going to press charges.
He's willing to forget the whole thing.
My lucky day.
Hey.
It's quite all right.
I just lost my footing.
I'm okay.
You better get him back to the estate.
Maybe you could do me a favor.
I'm way ahead of you.
I'll stay with him till you get back.
Thanks.
It'll be in the morning.
I've got to stay up all night with the computer again.
Yeah.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do.
So much for sweet dreams in paradise.
I guess I'm used to either freezing Saint Louis winters or summer nights that could steam the starch out of your shorts.
At any rate, I couldn't sleep.
And I don't think it was the accommodations.
I mean this place sure beats the heck out of the Y.
It was something about this case that was bothering me.
And it was more than the fact that we'd run out of leads.
It was the butler cat.
Something about him just wasn't right.
I mean, every other time I've come out here, I mean he's crazy and everything, but he's cool.
And this time, he ain't.
Like this case was personal to him or something.
Now, it ain't my nature to be snooping around someone's private stuff, but Rule Number 41 says you can make an exception, if you think your client's not telling the whole story.
And in this case, I didn't think the butler was.
I demand an explanation.
Why don't you go first? You can start by explaining why you didn't tell us that this kid we're trying to save is yours.
Do you remember where you were in the spring of '54, Mr.
Gillis? Did you idle your youth away on the back streets, fire escapes and stoops of the city? Were you in love, Mr.
Gillis? No.
I've seen it, though.
That year I was with the Saint Louis Browns in St.
Pete.
It was Spring training.
A client of mine asked me to find his wife.
She'd run off with the third-base coach.
I followed the club down there and pretended I was a rookie trying out.
Third base.
They cut me, though.
I wasn't good enough.
What about the case? I was fired.
You didn't catch them? Of course I did.
We're talking Luther H.
Gillis, P.
I.
, here.
Of course I caught them.
Actually, that was the only thing I did catch during Spring training.
But I let them slide.
I let them get away with it.
Why? Well, the more I watched them, the more I realized they were in love.
And when it's the real thing, you can tell.
I could tell.
I let them slide.
I let them slide.
But what's all this got to do with extortion, blackmail, murder and your kid? I'm not sure.
Except that if you've ever had the experience of having loved and lost, you might be able to understand the story I'm about to tell you.
I spent my Spring of '54 in Kenya, which is far, far removed from St.
Pete.
There was a war on.
There always seemed to be a war on, I suppose.
And our squad was assigned the duty of guarding the Andrews farm from the marauding Mau Mau.
We were there three months, six of us.
I was the youngest, and quite naturally, a bond was established between the only Andrews daughter, Elizabeth, and myself.
I'm getting the picture.
We would take long walks in the grass, read Shelley, listen to the BBC at night.
Now I'm really getting the picture.
The war seemed so far away, so removed.
That is, until I was transferred back to the front.
So long, BBC in the dark.
Quite.
Another squad was sent in to guard the Andrews farm in our place.
Four months later, I received a letter from Elizabeth.
The language was polite, cool, dispassionate.
Yeah.
Apparently, Elizabeth became involved with one of the soldiers sent in to replace me.
Fate is indeed fickle, Mr.
Gillis.
Yeah? Why's that? Because the man Elizabeth chose to dispense her affections to was none other than Dan Davies.
The one who owns the tuna fish boat? The same.
A wise man named Branch Rickey once wrote that luck is the residue of design.
And I would have liked to think that figuring out who was embezzling the funds was something I'd planned and systematically executed.
However, only I and the program knew I got lucky.
Unfortunately, for Ms.
Cathcart, of course, I hoped she had a good lawyer.
On the other hand, maybe Mr.
Rickey's "residue of design" could be equated with Mr.
Magnum's little voice.
And maybe that could be equated with a little more up time on Robin's miracle machine and its mate down at police records, because I've seen Jonathan Quayle Higgins in just about every possible kind of circumstance, but I've never seen him break.
In other words, maybe the late Warren Brummer wasn't quite history yet.
What are you doing in there? Come on.
If you're doing what I think you're doing, why didn't you phone her? It would have been easier.
You could've found out if the little sucker was yours or not.
You could have found out if there even was a little sucker.
They could've faked the pictures.
You could've.
Why? Why didn't you? Why didn't you call her? I forgot.
The alien concept of honor, all that stuff I'm supposed to know nothing about.
Well, maybe it ain't honor that kept you from making that phone call.
Maybe it was pride, something I know a lot about.
Believe me.
Now, you tell me what you want to do, and we'll do it together.
Thank you.
Don't mention it.
Now here's what I think we ought to do.
I think we ought to get down to that tuna fish boat, sneak on, shake down your pal Davies, and 86 the goods he has on you.
Whether they're real or not? Does it make a difference? They still work as far as blackmailing's concerned.
They'll still mess up your lady friend's career.
Does it really make a difference whether they're fake or not? I suppose not.
Except if the documents are real, and if I really do have a son, wouldn't I be jeopardizing his very existence by this rash an act? What are you planning to do with that? Target practice? Shoot fish in a barrel? But perhaps I'm being hasty, acting emotionally.
For if I do have a son There's only one way to find out.
But by forcing Davies' hand, I may not ever see him.
Can you understand the empty, aching feeling of having fathered a child and not ever sharing in the raising of him? Or her.
Of course.
I forgot.
I'm sorry.
Sorry is for sissies.
Let's go.
What if there's another watchman? I doubt it.
I think they got a high turnover around here.
Perhaps he's asleep.
Or he's out for an early morning jog.
Either way, there's one way to find out.
Now, be careful.
You just can't walk on these things like you're taking a stroll in the park.
You got to roll with the flow, get your sea legs.
Well, what do you want? The last time I was in a boat, my hands were strapped to the oars and Blanche was feeding my lunch to the ducks.
I tried to stop her.
I lifted the oars out Well, you had to be there.
Look here.
Well, let's get to work.
Please, I once cracked the safe of the Nazi High Command in Rome.
Well, excuse me.
And an intense hour that was indeed.
For directly in the next room was General Froelich himself with one of Mussolini's mistresses.
The pressure was intense, and I could barely hear the clicking of the tumblers over the constant shrieking Come on! Come on! This is taking too long.
Nonsense.
That the goods? It says here she gave up the kid for adoption on January 1st, 1955.
Happy New Year.
So much for the Spring of '54.
Where's my Bic? Give it to me! Come on! Come on! If it is your kid, all we're burning is the picture.
Come on! We'll call the police, they'll pick up Davies, you'll be reunited with your kid.
Why wait when we can have one right here? Son? Wrong.
Well, the good thing is, at least you know.
The bad thing is these cruds are gonna kill us.
That would be stupid and rather incriminating.
A fire on the other hand Yeah, fish sticks.
Lock the door on your way out.
Wait a minute! Maybe we could talk.
We tried.
We did call the estate.
We could have negotiated.
One final payment.
But you weren't there, Higgins.
You came to us.
So you left us no other choice.
Come on, hurry it up.
Wait! There happens to be a guy behind you with a gun.
Last time I heard that, it was Bugs Bunny to Yosemite Sam and he didn't fall for it either.
Hi, guys.
Hey, big guy, put the fire out, when you're done.
Give me the gun, and I'll see they go easy on you.
I lied.
He's all yours, Hig.
You stole more than my money.
You took my honor and pride.
I was counting on that, Higgins.
Well, count on this.
Do you think he's in, Magnum? Well, where else is he going to be? He sleeps here.
He still doesn't have a phone.
And you didn't have to come all the way down here, Higgins.
I could've paid him.
Or you could've sent him his check in the mail.
As if paying a utility bill? Luther Gillis did far more than just help solve the case.
I know that.
It's just that What? Nothing.
What? What? I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for taking your problem so lightly.
Luther? Luther? Bet he's asleep.
"Dear Butler" It's for you.
"Dear Butler, "thanks for letting me work for you.
"And the big guy, too.
"If he hadn't have figured out the Davies connection on the computer, "we would've been goners for sure.
"Anyway, this whole case "kind of made me think about stuff we were talking about.
"Like Blanche.
Like really having a woman who loves you.
"My kids.
" Sorry, I was about to make myself sick.
The truth of the matter is I can't stand the damn weather out here.
It never snows, and you ain't got a major league ball club.
I'm going back to St.
Louis.
And Blanche has got absolutely nothing to do with it.
Nothing.
Cheers.
Luther H.
Gillis, P.
I.
Sort of a legman.
You are simply to be his "legman", as he describes it.
The day I'm Tom Magnum's legman is the day I sit on a street corner selling pencils and drinking cheap pink out of a paper bag.
I am going inside with you.
You don't know anything about cowboy joints.
You could get into serious trouble.
Every time I do a favor for the big guy, I end up in this dump.
Payday.
I'm well aware of that.
Why in blazes do you think I Here.
Thank you.
I'll see you next time.
Same place.
No cops.
Please What? How much longer? I asked you how much longer.
Happiness is a relative state, especially as it applies to the delicate subjects of work and obligations.
It's a constant turmoil, and that's where the big "O" comes in.
Obligations.
Like in whether you take a case because of the money, because of friendship and loyalty, or simply because you have to.
Well, after three weeks on a tough case on the North Shore, all that was irrelevant.
I was happy.
That's because all my obligations were part of the past.
Or the distant future.
At any rate, I wasn't going to worry about them.
I finally was going to just rest and kick back.
Hey, Thomas, where have you been? I really need your help.
I got a problem you just wouldn't believe.
Thomas, you got to help me! What, Rick? I got a chance to go out tonight with Belinda Kowalski, but the catch is she won't go unless I find somebody to double with her roommate, Geraldine.
Please, pal, you got to come.
You got to help me.
I'm in love.
Please.
What do you say? No.
Thank you.
Hello, Magnum.
I trust you're well.
Good.
I need a favor done of an investigative nature.
I assume you are free? Good.
A very close friend of mine owns a majority interest in Kaimuki Savings and Loan.
Apparently, someone in the real estate loan department has been doing some long-term embezzling of the firm's funds.
Consequently, it's been arranged for you to begin work there tomorrow, under the guise of a loan officer, to attempt to ferret out the culprit.
No one in the office will be aware of your true identity, since all employees are suspect.
Please report to Ms.
Cathcart, the officer manager, at 8:00 sharp.
She's expecting you.
Further instructions from me will be on your computer.
Your personal access code is "Rosebud".
Thank you, Magnum, and good luck.
Yuck.
Hello, Magnum.
Robin again with a further reminder.
Please wear a suit and tie.
Polyester, if possible.
Bye now.
Come in.
Higgins.
Yes, you are quite correct, Magnum.
You knocked? Of course I knocked.
What civilized gentleman wouldn't? You never knock.
You always just barge right in.
You sick or something? Feeling okay? I'm feeling quite fine, Magnum.
And I'm not here to discuss my health.
I am here to approach you about a case.
Oh! I know.
You know? Of course, I know.
My God.
How could you It's all here on the answering machine.
Robin told me.
And yes, I will clean up and wear a tie, I promise.
But I draw the line at wearing a polyester suit.
Mr.
Masters hired you on a case? Yeah.
That's right.
Kaimuki Savings and Loan.
Oh, I think Robin didn't want to wait for you to tell me.
I know I've been gone a lot Higgins? Higgins, did you wanna hire me personally? Yes, but It's relatively unimportant, and in as much as you are already disposed, I'm sure I can make other arrangements.
After all, I'm sure it's something that any semi-competent detective could do.
Forget I brought it up, Magnum.
Wait, wait, wait, Higgins.
You've never wanted to hire me, I mean I guess you've come to appreciate me for the professional that I am.
I'm gonna help you, pal.
Well All right then.
Thank you.
However, even though, as I've said, the case itself is relatively unimportant Wait.
Wait.
This isn't something stupid, is it? Like the trisected Paulo worm or the kudu buck? Nevertheless, you should be cautioned that the matter requires the greatest discretion and tact, qualities which in the past you have been sorely lacking.
However, at the moment I have no other recourse, so My situation began some 30 years ago Higgins, before you go on, I think there is something that I should tell you.
What? Well, because of my other commitment to Robin, I can only handle this case in a sort of supervisorial fashion.
What is it you are attempting to say, Magnum? If you're not going to No, I am, I am.
I'll be right on top of it.
It's just that because of this other Savings and Loan thing, I'm gonna need a little assistance, that's all.
Sort of a legman.
If you're contemplating using Rick or T.
C No, no, no, not Rick or T.
C.
Then who? Well, it's someone with a real private investigator's license.
Who? Someone with a great deal of discretion and tact.
Who? Someone who'll be just right.
Who? Does the phrase, "Stuff it, Scrungo" ring a bell? Oh, my God.
Hiya, kiddos.
Name's Gillis, Luther.
You remember me.
I'm the big-time, big-city gumshoe from Saint Louis.
The one that keeps having to come out to the Big Pineapple to save the neck of my brother P.
I.
, Tom Magnum.
Anyway, I was getting so good at it, I guess he kind of felt obligated, especially when I told him that my secretary, Blanche, quit waiting for me to tie the knot and ran off with this encyclopedia salesman guy.
I had to close the office and everything.
But who cares? Her loss.
I could tell that the big guy felt awful about it, too, 'cause even though he wouldn't let me stay with him, 'cause they're remodeling the mansion or something, he did promise me and cross his heart that he'd swing the next extra case my way.
Even gave me a line on this neat office.
What a prince.
And he even came through with the case.
Holy cow, I expected some action.
But this fast? Hey, my pal Tom Magnum delivers, even if it was just the butler cat.
But a case is a case.
I think I'll call this one File 001.
My maiden voyage here in Banana Land.
Hey, you're right on time.
Which is more than can be said for you.
Additionally, how dare you leave the phone number of the estate on your office door where anyone off the street can copy it? How dare you? Gee, I'm sorry.
I didn't think you'd mind.
Mind? Mind? Mr.
Masters' private line.
The red phone.
Why would I mind? How in bloody hell did you get it? I probably jotted it down the last time I was by.
I only did it because I didn't have time to go to the phone company and have one put in yet.
Hey, big deal.
It'll only be for a few days.
Hardly.
I'll have it changed immediately.
Now, may we proceed? Certainly.
You were doing a pretty good job of explaining it on the phone till I ran out of dimes.
Now, there's only one thing I don't understand.
Just one? Hey, do you want me to handle this or not? You're not handling it.
Magnum is.
You are simply to be his "legman", as he describes it.
Yeah, yeah.
The day I'm Tom Magnum's legman is the day I sit on a street corner selling pencils and drinking cheap pink out of a paper bag.
Now, let's get on with it.
Gladly.
Now, what is it that you do not understand? Now, why didn't you tell the lady in England she was being blackmailed? Perhaps the concept of honor is an alien one to you, as is the one, "gentleman".
Hey Nevertheless, under no circumstances should Elizabeth Andrews be made aware of the situation.
She is a member of the House of Commons, and her career would be in ruins if there were the slightest inkling that she had had an illegitimate son.
As a matter of fact, Elizabeth Mrs.
Andrews is frequently mentioned as a potential candidate for prime minister from her party.
Oh, yeah? I'm real impressed.
Except how could she be the mother of a country when she can't be the mother of her kid? Unless it ain't her kid.
I beg your pardon? What I'm saying is, what if this Eric fellow ain't hers? If only that were so.
But the blackmailers have presented me with empirical evidence.
Birth certificates, medical and school records, adoption papers.
The child is undoubtedly hers.
How come they came to you in Hawaii instead of her in England? Well, obviously Obviously, it's somebody who you bought.
Someone out of your past.
The only person I've had any contact with is the Go on, say it.
Bagman.
Let me tell you something, Hig.
Blackmail's an ugly business.
You got to get used to it.
I did.
Now let me get some more facts.
How old is the little nipper? Thirty.
Months? Years.
The assignation in question took place in Mrs.
Andrews' youth, when she was a young woman growing up in Kenya.
It must have been awfully Ionely out there on the veldt.
Hey, you mess around, you got to pay the piper.
I know, believe me.
I'm sure you do.
Damn right.
Look, your lady friend's in trouble, we're gonna help her.
But don't try to convince me she's some kind of saint.
She's a broad.
All the same.
So are kidnappers and extortionists.
None of them like to be kept waiting.
So let's go.
They're all the same.
So are private investigators.
Pull over.
I think I'm gonna toss my cookies.
T.
C: Pull over where? Anywhere, but do it fast.
T.
C: Oh, no.
I'm sorry.
T.
C: Sorry? It's bad enough that I let Magnum con me into flying you all over the place, but now I got to - Please, shut up.
Here comes the Mongolian beef.
T.
C: Okay, okay, okay, okay.
At least there are no bullet holes.
All right, we're here.
Hey, you know, this is kind of neat once you get used to it.
I never pulled a tail in an aeroplane before.
Chopper.
You know, it's kind of nice when get used to it.
It kind of reminds me of Don't look at me.
I'm just Tom Magnum's legman.
Okay, I know what you're thinking.
Maybe I shouldn't have given the case to Luther.
Maybe this was something really serious.
But on the other hand, I kind of doubted it.
Because on closer examination, even T.
C.
Had to admit that the bullet did not come from the car he and Luther were tailing.
It came from behind them.
Probably pakalolo growers.
Therefore, I didn't have any qualms about Luther continuing with whatever Higgins' little problem was.
Especially since I was going to be really tied up with this important embezzlement case for Robin.
I figured as long as I was telling Luther what to do, he'd be okay.
Kind of like following in my footsteps.
Put it on my tab.
You don't have a tab.
Who cares? The big guy does.
Find anything out yet from Ice Man? It's Ice Pick.
What's the difference? The guy's a bum.
I'm kind of inclined to sneak into his steam bath and snap his towel.
You know what I mean? I wouldn't do that if I were you.
Oh, yeah? Hi, Hig, what's shaking? Absolutely nothing, except for the fact that you're off the case.
Hello? You and Magnum.
I should have known the situation was too delicate to entrust to a detective who sublets.
I will endeavor now Hey, hey, what are you talking about? We're just getting started here.
Fortunately, you won't be around to finish.
I'll send Magnum a check.
He can divide it with you anyway he likes.
No.
They can divide it with me.
$833.
97.
That's how much a new plate is gonna cost you.
Put it on the big guy's tab.
His tab is history.
Quite.
Let me tell you guys something.
Nobody takes a shot at Luther Gillis or his pals and gets away with it.
Nobody.
That ain't a part of life.
That's why I'm gonna find the crud who shot your aeroplane and the crud who's blackmailing your lady friend if I have to go to the end of the earth or I can't crawl anymore.
Luther H.
Gillis finishes what he starts.
All I need is a clue.
Cal's Country Bar and Billiard Den.
West Kilauea Street.
That's where the guy hangs out.
There's an old saying.
I think it was by me, that a private eye is only as good as the kind of clues and the kind of clients he's got to work with.
On this case, I figured it was about 50-50.
Pretty good clue, so-so client.
Now, you wait here.
I'll be right back.
I'm not waiting anywhere.
I am going inside with you.
You can't go inside.
I should've never let you talk me into coming along in the first place, but I But you are indeed lucky to still be employed, Mr.
Gillis.
Furthermore Furthermore, you don't know anything about cowboy joints.
You could get into serious trouble.
Nonsense.
I'm quite conversant with the ways of the West.
How? How? Did you grow up on Tom Mix and Hopalong Cassidy at the Bijou? Did you? Did you? I know just how to talk to these guys.
They'll tell me where Warren is.
They certainly ain't gonna tell any old limey.
Who you calling a limey, boy? Where'd you learn to talk like that? Let's just say it's a family trait.
Brew.
Two.
Howdy, partners.
Name's Elmo Ziller.
I poke from Hondo, Texas.
This here's my partner, Hubert.
How about a friendly game to pass the time? I ain't got no quarter.
You got any quarters, Artie? Nope.
Sure don't, Dexter.
I ain't had no quarters since last Thursday when that feller and his monkey come through.
Yeah.
Sucker sure could dance.
We're out of quarters till payday.
When's payday? Never.
We was just fired off from the Double-D over the Ewa way.
Double-D? Never heard of it.
What'd you raise, stock or ponies? Fish.
It's a tuna fish boat.
Now, how about that game? You got it, son.
Rack them up, Hubert.
Right.
What you all know about a good old boy, name of Warren? Break them, stranger.
Say, why don't we make this interesting? Like 20 bucks' worth of interesting? Eight ball in the side pocket.
That's the way to do it.
That's real nice shooting.
Just lucky, I guess.
Yeah.
You know, Elmo and I ought to be getting before we plumb run out of the money we owe poor old Warren.
You got a point, Hubert.
These boys here are just too good.
Where'd you say Warren was? Didn't.
But you might could find him around the Double-D about midnight.
Fishing at midnight? He's the dock watchman.
Great.
Well, thanks, boys.
Elmo and I ought to be moseying along.
Wait a sec, Hubert.
How about one more game, Dex? Just give me one last chance to get some of my money back.
Sure.
I think that's only fair.
How much? $500.
Rack them up, Hubert.
Eight ball in the corner.
Hey! - What? Oh, my God.
- Get off the table.
Say, they don't talk like that in Hondo.
Nobody trips Luther Gillis! Come on, Hig, let's get out of here.
Hey, help us! Get them! Hurry! Hurry! My God, man, they're going to I can't.
I left the keys in the bar.
Let me see what I can do about these applications.
Everything seems to be in order.
Mr.
Magnum, please.
I'm sorry.
Sorry.
That's Mrs.
Cathcart.
She is the office manager.
I have to pretend you need a loan for your medical bills.
Listen, big guy, you're getting half the retainer on this one and we're taking all the lumps.
That's because I am the supervising investigator.
Be that as it may, Magnum, we've come up with a lead.
The known whereabouts of the man I've been dealing with.
Now, I suggest we go speak with him.
Yeah, tonight, when he's on duty down at the Double-D docks.
We'll go down and stuff his gills.
We can't go down and stuff his gills.
Why not? You chicken? Not really, Luther.
It just appears that this case is neither fish nor fowl.
I refuse to sit here any longer and subject myself to this childishly inane behavior.
Furthermore Sit down.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm just a little dingy.
I've been working on this very important case for Robin all day and tomorrow I will get to your "relatively unimportant" case.
Your words.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Please sit down.
Please.
Now, we can't go down to the docks because I have to work on the bank computer all night.
I mean, there's a time clock running on this embezzling thing, and if you can give me till tomorrow, then I'll go down and see this Warren guy myself.
How? He'll be off work by then.
I'll get his address out of the computer.
He's got to have a bank account somewhere.
Come on, you guys did the legwork.
Leave the sophisticated part of the case to me.
Very well.
Okay.
You guys go home, get some rest and we'll touch base tomorrow.
And don't forget those pesky little IRS statements.
I'll drop you off at your office.
Yeah.
Thanks.
Where you going? The estate.
You're lying.
I beg your pardon? You're lying.
You're thinking about heading down to the dock.
You're thinking that Magnum's not gonna do anything but play with his computer all night.
And that ain't doing your common lady friend a damn bit of good.
It would be unfair to ask you to take that risk.
Big deal.
Who cares? I was born taking risks.
Besides, I'm kind of thinking about a lady, too.
Blanche? Your daughter Nancy? Your first wife? All of them.
Let's go.
Boy, this place stinks.
Kind of reminds me Here we are.
Where is he? Don't worry, Zorba.
I'll make him come to us.
How? Fifteen men on a dead man's chest, yo ho ho And a bottle of rum My God.
Anchors aweigh my boys What are you doing? I'm trying to find Warren.
I think you just did.
Freeze.
You're under arrest! I want out of this hole now! Look, I've been in much worse, I can assure you.
Calcutta, '49, and '50.
Who cares? Every time I do a favor for the big guy I end up in this dump.
I hate it.
It's like going home for Christmas.
The only difference is, neither the big guy nor the suicidal bum, Scrungo, is here.
Instead, I'm stuck with you.
I'm disgusted.
The feeling is mutual, I assure you.
Yeah, well, that goes double for me.
I should've never taken you with me in the first place.
That was mistake number one.
The first of many.
Oh, yeah? Yeah.
Obviously, your primitively crude surveillance techniques forced the blackmailers to, one, take a shot at you in the helicopter to try to dissuade you from tailing Warren, and two, that failing, they had no choice but to kill him when you loudly announced your intentions in the cowboy bar.
Don't you loudly intentions me, buster! I didn't make the run on that table and make those guys crazy.
I was willing to leave with the info.
Neat and clean.
Now look where we are.
Incarcerated.
"Discretion and tact".
Hogwash.
Speaking of hogwash, did you get ahold of your shyster yet? They're trying to track him down at the Polo Club.
The Polo Club? Well, hoity-toity-toity.
What do we do till then, rot? I was hoping I would never have to see you ever again, Mr.
Gillis.
Likewise.
I must have been a pretty bad person in my previous life.
You couldn't be worse than a copper.
Or a private eye.
Nevertheless, I have my duty.
You're new at this, Hig.
This is where he threatens us with a murder rap unless we answer some questions.
Yeah.
Questions like, what was your relationship to the deceased? I've never seen the gentleman before in my life.
Then what were you doing down at the waterfront? It was late and we were hungry.
Him I could expect this from.
But you, you, Jonathan Higgins? Never.
There's always a first time, Lieutenant.
I want answers.
What about Warren Brummer? I think he was working for scale.
I'm warning you both.
Maybe I can't make a murder charge stick, but I can yank your license, Gillis.
As for you, Higgins, I can call the newspapers and make your life awfully miserable and awfully public.
Who cares? Why don't you go dust the fish for some prints? Meanwhile, if you're not gonna press charges, aloha.
Ditto.
Here's where he says Don't leave town! I told you to wait for me.
I told you! But no, you had to force things.
Big deal.
The crud's dead.
We need a new lead.
Now you do.
Now all this information I pulled out on Warren Brummer is irrelevant.
How'd you get this stuff? This is a bank.
I have a friend in the prosecuting attorney's office.
Carol let our computers talk to each other.
Bank robbery, extortion, bigamy.
Gee, that's too bad.
Who's gonna let all his wives know he's dead? What now? Well, my guess is Brummer was killed because you two got too close to him.
And whoever the blackmailers are, they just didn't want to get rousted just yet.
What a genius.
They'll probably wait a little while and contact you.
Start all over again.
Why didn't you wait? It ain't my nature.
Besides, the butler didn't want to wait either.
Well, at least you're not up on misdemeanor trespassing charges.
Tanaka called.
The owner of the Double-D, Dan Davies, he's not going to press charges.
He's willing to forget the whole thing.
My lucky day.
Hey.
It's quite all right.
I just lost my footing.
I'm okay.
You better get him back to the estate.
Maybe you could do me a favor.
I'm way ahead of you.
I'll stay with him till you get back.
Thanks.
It'll be in the morning.
I've got to stay up all night with the computer again.
Yeah.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do.
So much for sweet dreams in paradise.
I guess I'm used to either freezing Saint Louis winters or summer nights that could steam the starch out of your shorts.
At any rate, I couldn't sleep.
And I don't think it was the accommodations.
I mean this place sure beats the heck out of the Y.
It was something about this case that was bothering me.
And it was more than the fact that we'd run out of leads.
It was the butler cat.
Something about him just wasn't right.
I mean, every other time I've come out here, I mean he's crazy and everything, but he's cool.
And this time, he ain't.
Like this case was personal to him or something.
Now, it ain't my nature to be snooping around someone's private stuff, but Rule Number 41 says you can make an exception, if you think your client's not telling the whole story.
And in this case, I didn't think the butler was.
I demand an explanation.
Why don't you go first? You can start by explaining why you didn't tell us that this kid we're trying to save is yours.
Do you remember where you were in the spring of '54, Mr.
Gillis? Did you idle your youth away on the back streets, fire escapes and stoops of the city? Were you in love, Mr.
Gillis? No.
I've seen it, though.
That year I was with the Saint Louis Browns in St.
Pete.
It was Spring training.
A client of mine asked me to find his wife.
She'd run off with the third-base coach.
I followed the club down there and pretended I was a rookie trying out.
Third base.
They cut me, though.
I wasn't good enough.
What about the case? I was fired.
You didn't catch them? Of course I did.
We're talking Luther H.
Gillis, P.
I.
, here.
Of course I caught them.
Actually, that was the only thing I did catch during Spring training.
But I let them slide.
I let them get away with it.
Why? Well, the more I watched them, the more I realized they were in love.
And when it's the real thing, you can tell.
I could tell.
I let them slide.
I let them slide.
But what's all this got to do with extortion, blackmail, murder and your kid? I'm not sure.
Except that if you've ever had the experience of having loved and lost, you might be able to understand the story I'm about to tell you.
I spent my Spring of '54 in Kenya, which is far, far removed from St.
Pete.
There was a war on.
There always seemed to be a war on, I suppose.
And our squad was assigned the duty of guarding the Andrews farm from the marauding Mau Mau.
We were there three months, six of us.
I was the youngest, and quite naturally, a bond was established between the only Andrews daughter, Elizabeth, and myself.
I'm getting the picture.
We would take long walks in the grass, read Shelley, listen to the BBC at night.
Now I'm really getting the picture.
The war seemed so far away, so removed.
That is, until I was transferred back to the front.
So long, BBC in the dark.
Quite.
Another squad was sent in to guard the Andrews farm in our place.
Four months later, I received a letter from Elizabeth.
The language was polite, cool, dispassionate.
Yeah.
Apparently, Elizabeth became involved with one of the soldiers sent in to replace me.
Fate is indeed fickle, Mr.
Gillis.
Yeah? Why's that? Because the man Elizabeth chose to dispense her affections to was none other than Dan Davies.
The one who owns the tuna fish boat? The same.
A wise man named Branch Rickey once wrote that luck is the residue of design.
And I would have liked to think that figuring out who was embezzling the funds was something I'd planned and systematically executed.
However, only I and the program knew I got lucky.
Unfortunately, for Ms.
Cathcart, of course, I hoped she had a good lawyer.
On the other hand, maybe Mr.
Rickey's "residue of design" could be equated with Mr.
Magnum's little voice.
And maybe that could be equated with a little more up time on Robin's miracle machine and its mate down at police records, because I've seen Jonathan Quayle Higgins in just about every possible kind of circumstance, but I've never seen him break.
In other words, maybe the late Warren Brummer wasn't quite history yet.
What are you doing in there? Come on.
If you're doing what I think you're doing, why didn't you phone her? It would have been easier.
You could've found out if the little sucker was yours or not.
You could have found out if there even was a little sucker.
They could've faked the pictures.
You could've.
Why? Why didn't you? Why didn't you call her? I forgot.
The alien concept of honor, all that stuff I'm supposed to know nothing about.
Well, maybe it ain't honor that kept you from making that phone call.
Maybe it was pride, something I know a lot about.
Believe me.
Now, you tell me what you want to do, and we'll do it together.
Thank you.
Don't mention it.
Now here's what I think we ought to do.
I think we ought to get down to that tuna fish boat, sneak on, shake down your pal Davies, and 86 the goods he has on you.
Whether they're real or not? Does it make a difference? They still work as far as blackmailing's concerned.
They'll still mess up your lady friend's career.
Does it really make a difference whether they're fake or not? I suppose not.
Except if the documents are real, and if I really do have a son, wouldn't I be jeopardizing his very existence by this rash an act? What are you planning to do with that? Target practice? Shoot fish in a barrel? But perhaps I'm being hasty, acting emotionally.
For if I do have a son There's only one way to find out.
But by forcing Davies' hand, I may not ever see him.
Can you understand the empty, aching feeling of having fathered a child and not ever sharing in the raising of him? Or her.
Of course.
I forgot.
I'm sorry.
Sorry is for sissies.
Let's go.
What if there's another watchman? I doubt it.
I think they got a high turnover around here.
Perhaps he's asleep.
Or he's out for an early morning jog.
Either way, there's one way to find out.
Now, be careful.
You just can't walk on these things like you're taking a stroll in the park.
You got to roll with the flow, get your sea legs.
Well, what do you want? The last time I was in a boat, my hands were strapped to the oars and Blanche was feeding my lunch to the ducks.
I tried to stop her.
I lifted the oars out Well, you had to be there.
Look here.
Well, let's get to work.
Please, I once cracked the safe of the Nazi High Command in Rome.
Well, excuse me.
And an intense hour that was indeed.
For directly in the next room was General Froelich himself with one of Mussolini's mistresses.
The pressure was intense, and I could barely hear the clicking of the tumblers over the constant shrieking Come on! Come on! This is taking too long.
Nonsense.
That the goods? It says here she gave up the kid for adoption on January 1st, 1955.
Happy New Year.
So much for the Spring of '54.
Where's my Bic? Give it to me! Come on! Come on! If it is your kid, all we're burning is the picture.
Come on! We'll call the police, they'll pick up Davies, you'll be reunited with your kid.
Why wait when we can have one right here? Son? Wrong.
Well, the good thing is, at least you know.
The bad thing is these cruds are gonna kill us.
That would be stupid and rather incriminating.
A fire on the other hand Yeah, fish sticks.
Lock the door on your way out.
Wait a minute! Maybe we could talk.
We tried.
We did call the estate.
We could have negotiated.
One final payment.
But you weren't there, Higgins.
You came to us.
So you left us no other choice.
Come on, hurry it up.
Wait! There happens to be a guy behind you with a gun.
Last time I heard that, it was Bugs Bunny to Yosemite Sam and he didn't fall for it either.
Hi, guys.
Hey, big guy, put the fire out, when you're done.
Give me the gun, and I'll see they go easy on you.
I lied.
He's all yours, Hig.
You stole more than my money.
You took my honor and pride.
I was counting on that, Higgins.
Well, count on this.
Do you think he's in, Magnum? Well, where else is he going to be? He sleeps here.
He still doesn't have a phone.
And you didn't have to come all the way down here, Higgins.
I could've paid him.
Or you could've sent him his check in the mail.
As if paying a utility bill? Luther Gillis did far more than just help solve the case.
I know that.
It's just that What? Nothing.
What? What? I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for taking your problem so lightly.
Luther? Luther? Bet he's asleep.
"Dear Butler" It's for you.
"Dear Butler, "thanks for letting me work for you.
"And the big guy, too.
"If he hadn't have figured out the Davies connection on the computer, "we would've been goners for sure.
"Anyway, this whole case "kind of made me think about stuff we were talking about.
"Like Blanche.
Like really having a woman who loves you.
"My kids.
" Sorry, I was about to make myself sick.
The truth of the matter is I can't stand the damn weather out here.
It never snows, and you ain't got a major league ball club.
I'm going back to St.
Louis.
And Blanche has got absolutely nothing to do with it.
Nothing.
Cheers.
Luther H.
Gillis, P.
I.