Sea Patrol (2007) s05e10 Episode Script

DUTCHY: Right, weapons are hot.
Protect your ears.
Firing.
Engage.
(GUNFIRE) Whoa! Stop firing.
Stop firing.
(LAUGHS) I'm so sorry, Dutchy.
I Hate guns, yeah.
Well, unfortunately, you're part of the defence forces, Bird, so you need to know how to use one.
(EXHALES) (GROANS) How's Dutchy's combat training going? (YELLS) I think he's got his hands full.
DUTCHY: And down.
(2DADS GROANS) (YELLS) OK.
Now, I want you to give me a strike to the groin.
Um, like that? That's it.
Bang.
Heel strike to the face.
Um Yeah.
Now I want you to grab my wrist.
That's it.
Grab my shoulder.
Grab my No.
DUTCHY: OK, you right? BIRD: Yep.
Just Why don't you go and sit down? MIKE: Bitten off more than you can chew? Yeah.
Junior sailors need a bit of work.
Remember, you've had survival training and they haven't.
Yeah, that's what I was thinking.
Maybe during shore leave, take them on an exped.
Won't know what hit them.
Sounds good.
Go for it.
(SHOUTS) Exped! (CHANTS) Exped.
Exped.
Whoa! (ALL LAUGH) What's an exped? It's a navy expedition.
It's a team-building exercise.
camping and do a bit of fishing and get seriously pissed at the navy's expense.
Ha ha ha.
So why can't I go? 'Cause it's junior sailors only.
Well, that's not fair.
Oh, the world's not fair, which is why God invented beer to numb the pain, and it's your shout.
Another wine? We're alongside tomorrow, so why not? Thanks.
(PHONE RINGS) Oh, Mike? Stuart, good to see you.
I think you just missed Ryan.
(PEOPLE GASP) (MIKE GROANS) So are you going to tell me who that was? Stuart White, Ryan's father.
What? I've no idea.
He's obviously got the wrong end of the stick about something.
And you aren't going to do anything about it? I'll sort it out tomorrow.
DUTCHY: You don't need a hairbrush.
You don't need moisturiser or deodorant.
Dutchy! I'm sure your skin can survive one night without chemicals, Bird.
What? What? Are you five? Give us a look.
What's all this crap? Hey, it's essential survival gear.
You've got suntan lotion, bug spray, there's antiseptic cream, pharmaceutical necessities It's all crap.
We should get started, Dutchy, find ourselves a nice comfy campsite.
Keep a water bottle.
DUTCHY: Nothing else.
Let's get one thing straight here, guys.
This is not a piss-up.
We're here to learn something.
We're gonna catch our own food, we have water, two Motorola radios and no sat phone.
That's it.
Bug spray would be nice about now.
Oh, Robert, man up.
They're just mozzies.
Yes, that carry yellow fever and malaria.
DUTCHY: Not this far south.
Well, dengue fever, then.
You've got about a 1 in 10,000 chance of catching that.
And you're happy with those odds, are you? What is it? Something's moved through here in the past few minutes.
Oh.
What kind of 'something'? Man-eating tigers? Killer grizzlies? Probably a rabbit, judging by the tracks.
It'll be a handy source of food.
we gonna stop for lunch? DUTCHY: Quit worrying about your stomach.
We've got to set up camp first.
(SIGHS) OK, this is the perfect spot to set up camp.
We've got fresh water over the hill, we've got lots of dry firewood everywhere to start a fire, and a good canopy overhead in case it rains.
Won't we be in tents? No, no, no.
We're gonna sleep out in the open.
I'm gonna teach you how to make your own shelter.
talk about hardcore.
It's like we're in our own episode of that wild survivor wanker dude.
There's pollen in the air, quite a high count.
RO: Dutchy threw my antihistamines into the RHIB.
What is that? Um, eyelash curler.
It must have fallen out of my make-up bag when I packed.
Your make-up bag? This isn't girl guides camp, Bird.
I know.
You know, if you're not up to this exped, maybe you should think about quitting the navy altogether.
Choose a profession where you don't need to know how to fire a weapon, defend yourself, or protect an actual border.
Dutchy, take a chill pill.
Bit of an overreaction.
Why don't you guys just go fishing? Fishing? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There's a line and tackle in there.
Go catch us some dinner.
Don't forget the Motorola.
Bird, are you coming? No.
I'II I'll stay with Dutchy.
Suit yourself.
Whatever.
(2DADS LAUGHS) Come on, Roey.
Bird, I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have spoken to you like that.
The guys were right.
No.
Maybe I'm not cut out for this, the navy.
No, no, no.
Come on.
Let's go catch some dinner.
Aren't RO and 2Dads doing that? I wouldn't trust them to catch the clap at a Bangkok brothel.
(CHUCKLES) XO: Sir, I was just bringing Commander White to see you.
Thanks, X.
Oh.
I'll leave you to it.
That's nasty.
Yeah.
Might have avoided it if you'd warned me.
Well, you know, I did try to call you, Mike.
Are you going to explain or would you like me to guess? Stuart got suspicious when Ryan's bone marrow wasn't a match for his, so he went off and had a discreet DNA test.
Came back negative? Last night he confronted me.
He demanded to know if he wasn't Ryan's father then who the hell was.
You told him about us.
What choice did I have? (EXHALES) So Ryan's my son? OK.
OK.
You know we're going to have to tell Ryan before Stuart does.
I already told him.
BIRD: So what do we do now? Well, I'm gonna kill it, skin it, gut it and cook it in that order.
Dutchy, I can't kill it.
Well, we're not gonna eat it alive.
You are a chefo, right? Yeah, but I cook prepacked meat.
Dutchy, please.
I watched 'Bambi', like, a hundred times as a kid.
I can't kill Thumper.
(SIGHS) Alright.
Well, why don't you grab a pot, then head up to the lake and fill it with water? I'll get some firewood ready and I'll finish it.
(FOOTSTEPS) MAN: Doing a bit of camping, hey, mate? Yeah, that's right.
MAN 2: Oh! Did you catch that all by yourself? DUTCHY: Mm-hm.
He's pretty scrawny.
Here on your own? Yeah.
Right, 'cause I didn't see a boat anywhere.
No, I got dropped off.
What's with the two-way? That's to call my mate when he arrives to pick me up.
Oh, yeah? When's that? This afternoon.
DUTCHY: Yeah, so what are you blokes doing out here? Hunting, by the looks of it.
Wouldn't have thought there was much to hunt apart from rabbit.
Oh, you'd be surprised.
(MAN CHUCKLES) MAN: Gonna invite us for a feed? Be the sociable thing to do.
Yeah, sure.
Just gotta cut it up for the stew.
You guys thigh or breast men? MAN 1: Oh, breast.
Definitely.
MAN 2: I'm more a thigh man.
You a thigh man? Yeah.
The upper thigh.
So tender.
Yeah, it is tender.
You want a bullet in the brain there, brother? Put it down.
Put it down.
Tie him up.
You got him there? Yeah.
Move it.
Oh, this might come in handy.
You shouldn't leave your fire going out in the bush.
(SNEEZES) Swallow your backwash? I'll drink my own water, thank you very much.
Who says it's water? Dutchy's not as clever as he thinks, hey? (SNEEZES) Here.
Guaranteed to stop you sneezing.
Really? Go on.
(COUGHS AND SPLUTTERS) See? See? You stopped sneezing.
You started coughing.
It's as rough as sandpaper.
You stick to your water.
Bourbon's my poison of choice.
Poison's the right word.
It's not the only thing that will kill you on this island - snakes and spiders, crocodiles.
And various plants - ferns, blue-green algae, even deadly fungi.
of nature, RO.
RO: Yeah, well, nature should be avoided at all costs in my mind.
Try telling Dutchy that.
The guy's having a ball out here.
(LAUGHTER) MAN 1: Hey, look at him.
He thinks we're going to slip it to him.
He reckons he's gonna get lucky, bro.
Gonna get lucky, mate? No, you're too ugly, buddy.
I usually go for brunettes.
Well, you could put a wig on him.
MAN 1: Yeah, imagine him in a wig.
(MEN LAUGH) (SNEEZES) Leaky pipes, hey? No, that's just hay fever.
I just have a blocked nose and blocked ears.
I meant what you're working on.
Oh, yeah.
Bird reckons that there's a leak in one of the pipes.
Shouldn't Marine Tech take a look at it? (SNEEZES) Yeah, right.
When I can do it with my eyes shut.
There's the leak.
(LAUGHS) Big night, eh? Ryan, just who I want to see.
Well, that's a coincidence, sir.
I want to see you.
Step into my cabin.
(CHARGE SNIFFLES) What happened to you? I got in a bit of a scrap last night.
Heard you did too.
Ryan, I'm sorry.
I don't want your apologies, sir.
I know it's a shock and everything With all due respect, sir, you don't really know anything.
You don't have to call me 'sir'.
Well, what do you want? 'Dad'? Ryan.
How long have you known? I Your mother and I only found out for certain last night.
That's rubbish.
You must have at least suspected.
Ryan, it was one night We both agreed it was a mistake.
So I'm a mistake, am I? That's not what I meant.
What do you mean? I don't know.
I'm trying to get my head around this too.
So what happens now? For a start, I have to have you reassigned.
Fathers and sons can't serve on the same ship.
Great.
So you cheat with my mum and I'm the one who gets punished for it.
Look, Ryan, I'm sorry.
But you're going Cut the crap.
You know what? I don't give a damn how sorry you are.
(BANG!) (PIPES RATTLE) Midshipman, what's going Ryan! (BREATHES RAGGEDLY) (SOBS) Alright.
Untie him and cuff him to that tree.
Well (BOTH LAUGH) (IMITATES PIG) Hey, piggy.
(MAKES ANIMAL NOISES) (GIGGLES) (MAN GRUNTS) Run.
Run.
Run! (DUTCHY PANTS) Whoa.
(WHIZZING) (DUTCHY YELLS) (GROANS) (LAUGHTER) Want to play, pig boy? (LAUGHS) Look at him.
(BOTH LAUGH) Come on, piggy.
(ARROW WHIZZES) (GRUNTS) (BIRD SCREAMS) Go.
Shit.
MAN 1: Go, go, go! (MAN 1 IMITATES CHICKEN) (PANTS) (SHRIEKS) (CLUCKS) (BREATHES RAGGEDLY) (CLUCKS) (CLUCKS) (FOOTSTEPS) Which way did she go? (MEN CLUCK) (SNIFFS) Alright.
Whoa.
Argh! Oh.
Um, fire.
(SHOUTS) Fire! Fire! SWAIN: Charge? Charge! Swain! (ALARM BEEPS) CHARGE: Quick.
Quick.
You right? Yes.
Let's get these off.
Stupid.
Alright.
(SNIFFS) I think it helped clear up my sinuses.
(SWAIN CHUCKLES) Amazing.
How did you not smell the gas, Charge, or hear the leak? Oh.
It wasn't Charge's fault.
He should never have been in there.
That was a job for Marine Tech.
Damn lucky it was only a small gas leak.
Any bigger and the whole galley could've been set on fire.
Yes, sir.
You're right.
I'm sorry.
I've got no idea what could have started that gas leak.
Well, I have a pretty good idea.
That gas leak is right where Ryan kicked the wall.
It doesn't take Einstein to figure out how it happened.
Maybe I should question Ryan as to why he did it with a view to disciplining him.
I'll deal with Ryan.
(BIRDSONG) a little bit cactus, but this is where our camp is supposed to be, right? Well, it was when we left it.
Could have at least got a fire still going for us.
(SHOUTS) Dutchy! Bird! Dutchy's idea of a joke.
RO: Yeah.
Knowing him, it's more likely a test.
(CHUCKLES) Yeah.
MAN 1: I told you.
You really are the worst tracker.
MAN 2: Well, you're a bad tracker too.
At least I don't pretend to be a bushman.
You're the one that makes us crap in sandwich bags to hide our scent.
Well, maybe that's 'cause I don't want to smell your crap.
(BOTH LAUGH) (2DADS OVER RADIO) Hey, Dutchy.
Dutchy? Where's the party, dude? What's going on? Dutchy, me and RO are at camp and we've decided that we're not gonna participate in your silly little games.
So if you want to play 'Survivor' by yourself, have fun.
We're not gonna be part of it anymore.
Amen to that.
We'll just sit here and cook up all the fish that we caught.
I knew he was full of it.
Camping alone.
Let's go.
Yeah.
(MEN LAUGH) (FOOTSTEPS) (BOTH CLUCK) (SQUEALS) (SHRIEKS, SCREAMS) (SHRIEKS, PANTS) (BOTH SHRIEK) (NEW ZEALAND ACCENT) Oh, my God.
My God.
You've got to help me.
Those maniacs are trying to kill me.
(PANTS) OK.
WOMAN: Where are we going? I've got to get to the camp before those animals do.
My friends are in danger.
I have to warn them.
No, listen to me.
We have got to get off this island before they kill us.
How did you get here? They brought us by boat.
'Us'? Me and my boyfriend, Alex.
We paid them for a fishing trip, but then they brought us to this place instead.
Then they sat around, getting high, and then they started hunting us.
Hunting you? Yeah, like it was some kind of sport or something for them.
God, what kind of people do that? Sickos, and you weren't the first.
Please.
I saw them catch Alex.
What if he's already dead? (GROANS) (GRUNTS WITH EXERTION) Oh, think.
Think.
Think.
OK, the joke's gone far enough.
Dutchy, come on.
What are you trying to prove, mate, huh? That you're tougher than us? OK, fine.
You win.
You are the man.
(MOANING OVER RADIO) Dutchy? (MAN TAUNTS) Dutchy? Dutchy.
Save us, Dutchy.
Quit the crap, mate.
We're cold and we're hungry.
Give it to me.
Quite frankly, I'm getting sick of this survival garbage.
(MAN OVER RADIO) Oooh.
(LAUGHTER) (MAN CALLS SPOOKILY) Dutchy? (GIGGLING) Yeah, OK, Dutchy.
You're freaking us out.
You happy? (MAN CLUCKS) Dutchy? get you back for this big-time, you're living in a dream.
What? (TAUNTS) Dutchy.
(GIGGLES CREEPILY) (GUNSHOT) Oh, my God.
We've got to get out of here.
Oh, my God.
Right.
(SOBS) Please.
I don't want to die.
Please.
OK.
You said they brought you here in a boat.
Jodie, where's their boat? Jodie, where's their boat? (PANTS HEAVILY) It's on the beach by their camp.
Alright.
(GASPS) God.
No.
(GRUNTS WITH EXERTION) (EXHALES) (DUTCHY PANTS) (GROANS) (GROANS PAINFULLY) (PANTS RAPIDLY) (YELPS) (GRUNTS) (GASPS) (INDISTINCT VOICE) MAN: Keep moving.
(DUTCHY GASPS BREATHLESSLY) (GRUNTS WITH EXERTION) Dutchy? Oh! Leave him.
Leave him.
Leave him.
Keep walking.
Camping on your own, hey, pig boy? (MAN SNORTS) Wait.
What does your boyfriend, Alex, look like? He's a big guy, well-built, short blond hair.
Why? Oi! Where are you going? We're getting out of here, aren't we? Wait.
No, Jodie.
Not yet.
But you said.
I have to go back No! to see if Dutchy's alive.
You said you saw him die.
No.
Maybe.
I don't know.
I saw someone die, but it could have been Alex.
Look, I have to go back.
If there's a chance either of them are alive I'm really scared.
So am I.
You have to trust me, though, OK? Just Just hide in the boat, OK? Hide.
MAN 1: Come the morning we're gonna have ourselves a little turkey hunt.
MAN 2: We're gonna let you run hunt you down pick you off one by one.
Why are you doing this? Why not? (MEN LAUGH) That's not an answer.
MAN 1: That's not an answer? MAN 2: I dunno, mate.
Oh, too many drugs? No, it's because there's so much violence on television these days.
We've become desensitised.
MAN 2: Yeah, we're just mindless drones who don't know the difference between fantasy and reality.
Yeah.
video games.
Kill a few million zombies and the novelty wears off, huh? (GIGGLES) (MEN LAUGH) (CRASH!) No.
What are you doing? What do you think I'm doing? I was gonna sell those in town.
Hey, what do I always say? Don't leave a trace.
MAN 2: Hey, where's that knife? MAN 1: What knife? The knife that was there.
(ENGINE STARTS, FALTERS) (ENGINE STARTS, FALTERS) That's the Kiwi bitch.
(CHUCKLES) Pretty tough starting the boat without the spark plug.
(MEN LAUGH) Let's go and have a look.
(CHUCKLES) Behave, boys.
Gobble, gobble.
(BOTH LAUGH) (GRUNTS) (WHISPERS) Hey.
Bird? I'll get it.
Hey.
Bird.
Bird? Bird, you've got to find the key to the handcuffs.
Check through their stuff.
Go look in their tent.
Hurry up, Bird.
Hurry up.
BIRD: I can't find it.
What if it's not here? They might have it.
(GRUNTS) Use this.
Use this knife.
(GROANS) Hurry up.
Use the sharp edge and try and break the chain.
Hurry.
(SCREAMING) (GUNSHOT) (GRUNTS) (GROANS) It's not working.
OK.
Come on, Bird.
Come on.
You can do it.
OK.
Bird, this is what you're gonna have to do.
You have to saw off one of my thumbs down near the wrist.
OK? What? It's the only way.
It's the only option.
No.
Yes.
You have to.
No.
Please.
Please.
Don't ask me to do that.
If you don't, they're going to come back here and kill us all.
Please, Bird.
Just saw off one of my thumbs so I can get my hand free.
Just do it.
Do it! I can't.
Bird, you have to.
I can't.
OK, there's nothing you can do here.
Just take the knife and get to the other side of the island.
Dutchy.
Yes.
Just save yourself.
Just wait till morning.
Wait for the RHIB and Swain.
I can't.
I can't.
Bird, go.
Just go, Bird.
You've got to go.
(SHOUTS) Get out of here.
Go.
(SOBS) I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
MIKE: Charge, what's taking so long? We're running half an hour behind.
All crew accounted for, sir, except for Midshipman White.
Um, I tried to call him, but he's not answering his phone.
Ryan won't be sailing with us today.
He won't? Uh, can I ask why not? Well, he's been landed pending transfer to another boat.
I didn't know that, sir.
We'll discuss it later.
Right now, we're running half an hour late picking up our exped team.
Wouldn't worry too much, boss.
I'm sure Dutchy will have them marching like a well-oiled machine.
How do you wanna play this - team sport or individual pursuit? Individual.
Nice.
I think I'm gonna take pretty boy joey face and then you can take smart mouth.
Snakey? Ssss! Snakey.
Pig boy, he's not gonna be much chop with a stuffed leg.
(LAUGHS) (GROANS IN PAIN) (LAUGHS) Maybe we should just put a bullet in him now.
Mercy kill.
(GRUNTS) (SINGSONGS) Pig boy! (BOTH CACKLE) We'll have a bit of fun with him first.
(LAUGHS) Alright.
OK.
Up you get.
Get up.
Get up.
(GROANS) You right? There you go.
I'm gonna run you through the rules.
There are no rules.
(HENRY LAUGHS) What I want you to do is I want you to You take off that way and you run like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't.
(MEN CACKLE) I'll give you 20 count, then it's game on.
You ready? You ready? One, two, three - go.
Go on, mate.
You're a free man.
Off you go.
(HENRY COCKS GUN) Run, or I'll put a bullet in his head in three seconds.
Three two Run.
Run, mate.
There we go.
Run.
(GRUNTS) Ah! Oh! Oh! Oh, Skippy.
Too easy, mate.
Put that thing on the ground! Oh, hello! Where did you come from? I said drop the crossbow.
Drop the crossbow.
You guys are just breeding like rabbits, aren't you? Ah! Shh! Shh! Be quiet.
Softly.
Just take our time.
I'm just gonna take my time with you.
Mmm! Oh, you smell good.
Are you OK? Yeah.
Are you? Yeah.
OK It's busted.
It's useless.
What? The bow.
He must've stepped on it.
OK, um Ah! I got it.
I'll distract the other guy.
Turn him over.
Ugh! I'll make him chase me.
Here.
You go uncuff Dutchy and 2Dads.
Go to the beach.
Swain should be there any minute with the RHIB.
No, no.
Look, Robert Just do Do what I say, Bird! Dutchy's injured, OK? He's gonna need to be carried.
Look at me.
I can't do that.
I'll be the distraction.
Where are you, Travis? You're next, snakey.
Hey! OK.
(ALL GROAN) Bird! We've gotta go back for her! She'll meet us at the beach.
She can't outrun that maniac.
I wouldn't be so sure of that, Stop! Stop.
Put me down.
Put me down.
(GROANS IN PAIN) I gotta pull this out.
That's not a good idea, Dutchy.
Dutchy.
(WHIMPERS) (GRUNTS, GROANS) Henry! Henry! Travis! It's a trap! They've got the key.
(QUIETLY) You'll keep.
Well, it's 0700 - Swain should be here by now.
Yeah.
DUTCHY: Ugh! Put me down.
Bird! Get him, get him, get him! Yeah, yeah.
Oh You're not gonna shoot me.
Sweet little thing like you? Why don't you give me the gun? Oh, look, you're shaking.
Frightened out of your mind.
You and I both know that you're not gonna pull the trigger, right? Why don't you put it down before you do yourself an injury? It's Bird.
Ro! Ah! Mate, you took a hell of a risk pulling out that bolt.
You're just gonna have to make sure it doesn't get infected.
Do you know how many dead bodies were on the island? Uh, Bird said she saw three of them, sir.
Plus the New Zealand couple.
Wish I could've done something for them.
You did, Dutchy.
You caught their killers.
(KNOCK AT DOOR, DOOR OPENS) Dutchy wants to see you in the ward room.
(SOFTLY) OK.
(KNOCK AT DOOR) Come in.
You wanted to see me? (STRAINED VOICE) Yeah.
(SIGHS) How are you doing? Better than you, by the looks of things.
Looks can be deceiving.
Bird, the only reason we're all still alive is because you didn't follow my instructions when I told you to run and hide.
I wanted to.
Which makes what you did all the more brave.
Brave? Dutchy, I've never been so scared.
Me neither.
I'm very proud of you, Bird.
You're a damn fine sailor.
The navy's lucky to have you.
I still hate guns.
(CHATTER OVER TWO-WAY RADIO) He's all yours, boys.
Over and out.
I just spoke to Maxine.
It looks like Ryan's gone AWOL.
Why would he do something like that? I thought he loved being in the navy.
There's something I have to tell you.
I'm not transferring Ryan off the boat because he's my godson.
Then why? I'm posting him off because he's my son.
What? I'm Ryan's father.