The Batman (2004) s05e10 Episode Script
The End of the Batman
[GRUNTING.]
I knew I should've splurged for the turbo.
Aah! ROBIN: Whoa! I take it those weren't pigeons.
Look.
ROBIN: S? W? [BEEPING.]
Oh-oh.
[LAUGHING.]
BATMAN: They're gone.
Great.
Now the guys in hero suits are shooting at us.
You got them on video? BATMAN: A city traffic cam recorded their getaway.
ROBIN: Whoa, look at the wheels his sidekick gets.
And last week, when Killer Croc managed to escape us, he must've had their help too.
That time, they didn't show themselves.
They're getting bolder.
ROBIN: So, what do you think? Alternate versions of us from a parallel universe? Or maybe our matter-antimatter twins.
You've been reading too many comic books.
ALFRED: You left out video games.
I thought you might need a reminder.
Bruce and Dick have an appointment with their friends the Mallorys.
Andy Mallory? Oh.
All right, I'll go.
But I'm not gonna have any fun.
Whoo-hoo! And where exactly did you leave my brother? Too slow.
ANDY: Maybe.
But I got style.
Yee-ha! Yeah.
You fall way cooler than I do.
Yet you keep trying to impress me.
WILL: Come on, you two.
Andy and I both appreciate you guys lending us this gear for our next climb.
BRUCE: No problem.
Wayne Tech developed it for the military, but I'd rather it get used for fun.
Here, let me show you how the zip-line works.
The cable's threaded with titanium.
It's thin, but it can hold a ton.
Hook your harness to the line, and.
Okay, Dick.
Show Andy how to hook himself in.
Like I'm gonna learn from a loser.
Hey, I was first.
[GRUNTING.]
DICK: Out of my way.
ANDY: Look out.
[BOTH YELLING.]
DICK: Brilliant.
Your fault.
So how to retrieve a stuck teammate.
I guess I'll see you at fencing next week.
Dick? Yeah, see you.
Guess they'll be having a "talk.
" So will we.
Aw, let it go, big bro.
Look at all the schwag you scored from your chump friend.
Every little bit helps when you've got a bat to squash.
Good evening, and welcome to the first broadcast of the city's newest lottery sensation.
The Gotham Millionaire Fun Ball.
[CROWD CHEERING.]
I can see why you think this might attract someone's attention.
Let's get right to it and find out our first number.
[HORN HONKING.]
JOKER [OVER BULLHORN.]
: Wait.
Wait for me.
[PEOPLE YELLING.]
[JOKER LAUGHING.]
Oh, this is awful.
I can't find my ticket.
Ah.
There's the ticket.
[GASPS.]
[COUGHING.]
[LAUGHING.]
[SCREAMING.]
Now, that's what I call a winning smile.
[GIGGLING.]
[GRUNTING.]
What a million-dollar surprise.
Now, I can win the lottery and scratch off Batman at the-- Huh? Hey, you stepped on my line.
Take your money, Joker.
We'll handle the Batman.
Who asked you? Aah! [LAUGHS.]
Aah! Aah.
Aah.
ROBIN: W and S.
Wipe-out and Sudden-stop.
That's Wrath and Scorn.
[GRUNTING.]
Who are you? Why are you doing this? Someone has to stand up to your kind.
Joker is just trying to make a living, like anyone else.
Criminals are simple, Batman.
Direct.
Joker doesn't wear a mask.
He shows his face for the world to see.
- Then you won't mind doing the same? - You first.
[GRUNTING.]
[BEEPING.]
[PEOPLE GASPING.]
[YELLING.]
[GASPING.]
[DEVICE BEEPING.]
Hey, Will, sorry about missing fencing class.
Suddenly my schedule got jammed.
WILL: That's okay, Bruce.
I've got some extra business to take care of too.
We'll hook up later.
[SPEAKS IN ITALIAN.]
- What's wrong? - Sometimes our schedules are too similar.
ANDY: Extra business? If it were a business, Joker would cut us in on his take.
All the criminals would.
We're not doing it for money.
We're doing it for them.
Why bother? I don't even remember them.
They'd be proud of you.
They'd be proud of us both for taking on the Batman.
He's everything they hated.
That, Mom and Dad and I have in common.
It's funny.
Last night, I felt like we knew each other.
- We were so in sync.
- Ugh.
Don't tell me you're starting to respect him.
Little brother, you've got nothing to worry about there.
In fact, now that we know we can take him it's time to move on to the next stage.
KILLER CROC: What's with the club meeting? SCARFACE: Yeah, I ain't no joiner.
Uh, that's true.
Mr.
Scarface tells me all the time, he works alone.
This better not be one of your teamwork schemes, pengy.
I assure you, I had nothing to do with this.
Joker? Please.
I had no time to clean up, put out trail mix, grease the trapdoor.
WRATH: I invited you here.
Oh, it's this one.
You know, I could have handled Batman myself.
But, no.
You had to take all the fun out of it.
Ah.
Now, just a second.
I was thrilled to have this good fellow's assistance and I vote we hear the man out.
So who are you and what's your racket? No racket.
I'm just a friend.
One who believes criminals have it tough enough without having to deal with that rabid bat.
Scorn and I are just here to even the field.
- What if we don't want your help? WRATH: That's up to you.
But there's a job tonight that could make you all infinitely rich.
It's too ambitious for any one criminal but with my backup, you might be able to pull it off.
ROBIN: Engraving plates? - For printing money? - Right.
They're being unloaded at the docks tonight.
It's too big a prize not to attract Wrath.
You know, it's kind of creepy how you're getting into this guy's head.
It's like you and he are the same.
Not in the way that counts.
GUARD: Who's there? [ROARS.]
What? [COUGHING.]
Nice shot, Mr.
Scarface.
BOTH: Aah! Shocking.
So, what's left for me to do? Hey, help me unload this loot.
Oh, good times.
[SIREN WAILING.]
Harbor patrol.
[BOTH GASP.]
Get out of here.
[ROBIN WHISTLES.]
[GRUNTING.]
BATMAN: Titanium cable.
Bruce? It is you.
We are too much alike.
SCORN: What's the problem, bird boy? Too scared to take me head-on? What's your problem, Scorn-dog? Too slow to catch me? Not too bright either.
WRATH: It's a little like fencing class, isn't it, old pal? You know who I am, don't you? I wish I didn't.
Then you know why I'm going to win.
I'm willing to destroy my enemies.
[GRUNTING.]
You just send yours to jail.
[SIRENS WAILING.]
Jail will do.
[SIRENS WAILING.]
Where's Wrath? Move it, dummy.
KILLER CROC: I'm out of here.
[GUNS COCK.]
[GROANS.]
[GRUNTING.]
Where is he? He's on speakerphone.
You failed us, friend.
We barely got out of there with our feathers intact.
I'll make it up to you and then some.
Because I now know who Batman is.
And I'm going to rid the city of him once and for all.
Did you hear that, dummy? That'll be my gift to you.
Let's go.
Next stop, Wayne mansion.
Where's your smile, Joker? It's the end of the Batman.
Hmm.
BATMAN: I can't believe it.
Will and Andy's parents were notorious jewel thieves.
Explains the Mallory money.
Eventually, they got caught and were sent to prison around the same time my parents died.
So, what's our next move? We pay the Mallory brothers a visit.
WRATH: Unless we get to you first.
Aah! I'm sorry, sir.
He came up behind me as I opened the clock.
It's all right.
Just stay hidden somewhere safe.
Come on out, Dickie bird.
We got a score to settle.
ROBIN: Right behind you, Andrew.
Aah! [GRUNTING.]
WRATH: I should have known you were Batman, Bruce.
You were always so civic-minded.
It ends here and now.
I destroy this place, I destroy everything you are.
And then I'll destroy you.
"Somewhere safe," he says.
[YELLING AND GRUNTING.]
SCORN: Gotcha, Dickie.
WRATH: It's over, Bruce.
You've forgotten home-court advantage.
WRATH: You have no court left.
You'd be surprised.
[HIGH-PITCHED WHINING.]
[WRATH GRUNTING.]
[WRATH YELLING.]
Huh? Aah! You come to our house? [ALFRED CLEARS THROAT.]
Is it over? WRATH: If I go to jail, I'll tell everyone who you are.
You'll be a target the rest of your life.
But I swear, I'll never tell a soul if you just let us go.
But that really would destroy everything I am.
You think I'm kidding, Batman? You're finished, through.
Hear me? It's over.
Get ready to be famous, Dickie.
So that's it? He tells, and there's no more Batman? I'm afraid so.
It was great while it lasted.
Bad night, boys? Joker.
Hurry, uncuff us.
Oh, I'll do better than that.
I'll completely unhinge you.
What? You can't.
We know who he is.
We'll tell you.
Batman.
He's-- [COUGHING.]
[WRATH AND SCORN LAUGHING.]
[JOKER LAUGHING.]
JOKER: Destroying you is my game.
And I won't have anyone stealing my fun.
[LAUGHS MANIACALLY.]
ROBIN: So does this mean we're back in business? BATMAN: I don't think anyone's telling secrets any time soon.
I knew I should've splurged for the turbo.
Aah! ROBIN: Whoa! I take it those weren't pigeons.
Look.
ROBIN: S? W? [BEEPING.]
Oh-oh.
[LAUGHING.]
BATMAN: They're gone.
Great.
Now the guys in hero suits are shooting at us.
You got them on video? BATMAN: A city traffic cam recorded their getaway.
ROBIN: Whoa, look at the wheels his sidekick gets.
And last week, when Killer Croc managed to escape us, he must've had their help too.
That time, they didn't show themselves.
They're getting bolder.
ROBIN: So, what do you think? Alternate versions of us from a parallel universe? Or maybe our matter-antimatter twins.
You've been reading too many comic books.
ALFRED: You left out video games.
I thought you might need a reminder.
Bruce and Dick have an appointment with their friends the Mallorys.
Andy Mallory? Oh.
All right, I'll go.
But I'm not gonna have any fun.
Whoo-hoo! And where exactly did you leave my brother? Too slow.
ANDY: Maybe.
But I got style.
Yee-ha! Yeah.
You fall way cooler than I do.
Yet you keep trying to impress me.
WILL: Come on, you two.
Andy and I both appreciate you guys lending us this gear for our next climb.
BRUCE: No problem.
Wayne Tech developed it for the military, but I'd rather it get used for fun.
Here, let me show you how the zip-line works.
The cable's threaded with titanium.
It's thin, but it can hold a ton.
Hook your harness to the line, and.
Okay, Dick.
Show Andy how to hook himself in.
Like I'm gonna learn from a loser.
Hey, I was first.
[GRUNTING.]
DICK: Out of my way.
ANDY: Look out.
[BOTH YELLING.]
DICK: Brilliant.
Your fault.
So how to retrieve a stuck teammate.
I guess I'll see you at fencing next week.
Dick? Yeah, see you.
Guess they'll be having a "talk.
" So will we.
Aw, let it go, big bro.
Look at all the schwag you scored from your chump friend.
Every little bit helps when you've got a bat to squash.
Good evening, and welcome to the first broadcast of the city's newest lottery sensation.
The Gotham Millionaire Fun Ball.
[CROWD CHEERING.]
I can see why you think this might attract someone's attention.
Let's get right to it and find out our first number.
[HORN HONKING.]
JOKER [OVER BULLHORN.]
: Wait.
Wait for me.
[PEOPLE YELLING.]
[JOKER LAUGHING.]
Oh, this is awful.
I can't find my ticket.
Ah.
There's the ticket.
[GASPS.]
[COUGHING.]
[LAUGHING.]
[SCREAMING.]
Now, that's what I call a winning smile.
[GIGGLING.]
[GRUNTING.]
What a million-dollar surprise.
Now, I can win the lottery and scratch off Batman at the-- Huh? Hey, you stepped on my line.
Take your money, Joker.
We'll handle the Batman.
Who asked you? Aah! [LAUGHS.]
Aah! Aah.
Aah.
ROBIN: W and S.
Wipe-out and Sudden-stop.
That's Wrath and Scorn.
[GRUNTING.]
Who are you? Why are you doing this? Someone has to stand up to your kind.
Joker is just trying to make a living, like anyone else.
Criminals are simple, Batman.
Direct.
Joker doesn't wear a mask.
He shows his face for the world to see.
- Then you won't mind doing the same? - You first.
[GRUNTING.]
[BEEPING.]
[PEOPLE GASPING.]
[YELLING.]
[GASPING.]
[DEVICE BEEPING.]
Hey, Will, sorry about missing fencing class.
Suddenly my schedule got jammed.
WILL: That's okay, Bruce.
I've got some extra business to take care of too.
We'll hook up later.
[SPEAKS IN ITALIAN.]
- What's wrong? - Sometimes our schedules are too similar.
ANDY: Extra business? If it were a business, Joker would cut us in on his take.
All the criminals would.
We're not doing it for money.
We're doing it for them.
Why bother? I don't even remember them.
They'd be proud of you.
They'd be proud of us both for taking on the Batman.
He's everything they hated.
That, Mom and Dad and I have in common.
It's funny.
Last night, I felt like we knew each other.
- We were so in sync.
- Ugh.
Don't tell me you're starting to respect him.
Little brother, you've got nothing to worry about there.
In fact, now that we know we can take him it's time to move on to the next stage.
KILLER CROC: What's with the club meeting? SCARFACE: Yeah, I ain't no joiner.
Uh, that's true.
Mr.
Scarface tells me all the time, he works alone.
This better not be one of your teamwork schemes, pengy.
I assure you, I had nothing to do with this.
Joker? Please.
I had no time to clean up, put out trail mix, grease the trapdoor.
WRATH: I invited you here.
Oh, it's this one.
You know, I could have handled Batman myself.
But, no.
You had to take all the fun out of it.
Ah.
Now, just a second.
I was thrilled to have this good fellow's assistance and I vote we hear the man out.
So who are you and what's your racket? No racket.
I'm just a friend.
One who believes criminals have it tough enough without having to deal with that rabid bat.
Scorn and I are just here to even the field.
- What if we don't want your help? WRATH: That's up to you.
But there's a job tonight that could make you all infinitely rich.
It's too ambitious for any one criminal but with my backup, you might be able to pull it off.
ROBIN: Engraving plates? - For printing money? - Right.
They're being unloaded at the docks tonight.
It's too big a prize not to attract Wrath.
You know, it's kind of creepy how you're getting into this guy's head.
It's like you and he are the same.
Not in the way that counts.
GUARD: Who's there? [ROARS.]
What? [COUGHING.]
Nice shot, Mr.
Scarface.
BOTH: Aah! Shocking.
So, what's left for me to do? Hey, help me unload this loot.
Oh, good times.
[SIREN WAILING.]
Harbor patrol.
[BOTH GASP.]
Get out of here.
[ROBIN WHISTLES.]
[GRUNTING.]
BATMAN: Titanium cable.
Bruce? It is you.
We are too much alike.
SCORN: What's the problem, bird boy? Too scared to take me head-on? What's your problem, Scorn-dog? Too slow to catch me? Not too bright either.
WRATH: It's a little like fencing class, isn't it, old pal? You know who I am, don't you? I wish I didn't.
Then you know why I'm going to win.
I'm willing to destroy my enemies.
[GRUNTING.]
You just send yours to jail.
[SIRENS WAILING.]
Jail will do.
[SIRENS WAILING.]
Where's Wrath? Move it, dummy.
KILLER CROC: I'm out of here.
[GUNS COCK.]
[GROANS.]
[GRUNTING.]
Where is he? He's on speakerphone.
You failed us, friend.
We barely got out of there with our feathers intact.
I'll make it up to you and then some.
Because I now know who Batman is.
And I'm going to rid the city of him once and for all.
Did you hear that, dummy? That'll be my gift to you.
Let's go.
Next stop, Wayne mansion.
Where's your smile, Joker? It's the end of the Batman.
Hmm.
BATMAN: I can't believe it.
Will and Andy's parents were notorious jewel thieves.
Explains the Mallory money.
Eventually, they got caught and were sent to prison around the same time my parents died.
So, what's our next move? We pay the Mallory brothers a visit.
WRATH: Unless we get to you first.
Aah! I'm sorry, sir.
He came up behind me as I opened the clock.
It's all right.
Just stay hidden somewhere safe.
Come on out, Dickie bird.
We got a score to settle.
ROBIN: Right behind you, Andrew.
Aah! [GRUNTING.]
WRATH: I should have known you were Batman, Bruce.
You were always so civic-minded.
It ends here and now.
I destroy this place, I destroy everything you are.
And then I'll destroy you.
"Somewhere safe," he says.
[YELLING AND GRUNTING.]
SCORN: Gotcha, Dickie.
WRATH: It's over, Bruce.
You've forgotten home-court advantage.
WRATH: You have no court left.
You'd be surprised.
[HIGH-PITCHED WHINING.]
[WRATH GRUNTING.]
[WRATH YELLING.]
Huh? Aah! You come to our house? [ALFRED CLEARS THROAT.]
Is it over? WRATH: If I go to jail, I'll tell everyone who you are.
You'll be a target the rest of your life.
But I swear, I'll never tell a soul if you just let us go.
But that really would destroy everything I am.
You think I'm kidding, Batman? You're finished, through.
Hear me? It's over.
Get ready to be famous, Dickie.
So that's it? He tells, and there's no more Batman? I'm afraid so.
It was great while it lasted.
Bad night, boys? Joker.
Hurry, uncuff us.
Oh, I'll do better than that.
I'll completely unhinge you.
What? You can't.
We know who he is.
We'll tell you.
Batman.
He's-- [COUGHING.]
[WRATH AND SCORN LAUGHING.]
[JOKER LAUGHING.]
JOKER: Destroying you is my game.
And I won't have anyone stealing my fun.
[LAUGHS MANIACALLY.]
ROBIN: So does this mean we're back in business? BATMAN: I don't think anyone's telling secrets any time soon.