The Guild (2007) s05e10 Episode Script
Strategy Timez
I called a guild summit this is so official! learned a lot about summits in history classes I've taken I know that out of one of them, they produced the UN Oh, and then there's that one G something, that European hippies don't like I'm not stupid, I'm just ignorant about things I don't RSS.
And I'm not putting my summit on the scale of world peace or, eh European hippies but, this is our game we're talking about! We've got to get off the convention distractions and focus on what matters, I mean - this, this is serious! Clara, I need you to take minutes! Stop eating from the mini-bar! Why don't you throw money in the street!? The situation is as dire as I neurotically surmised yesterday.
Okay, must be a first.
Vork, what are you doing!? Leaving! This has been a horrific experience.
I don't care to keep existing in this time-space.
But you're our ride.
Then I suggest you'd get packing! We're discussing the future of our game, and, and, and, forming a mandate! Besides, we can't leave yet - Zaboo and I spent all morning making the most kick ass costume accessory, ever invented Yeah! Clara and I are going to have a three-way with the trophy later! Please turn that off.
The RTX guy said that their company wants to make the game more accessible.
As fans, we have no right to criticize, what people do with their creative properties.
Oh, please, you're just sensitive about that chick you were flirting with earlier.
Vork flirting? Hurl.
Yeah he got smart-mouthed with some milfy tv star, put his foot in it, and she stormed off in a huff.
I alienated the fantasy love of my life.
I can longer heal this wound of mortification, than pay full price for miniature golf.
Start dating an S&M chick! Then she'll come sniffing around.
Worked for me and Codex.
Yeesh, stink eye'd.
Listen up guys, they're going to make the game free-to-play, appeal to casuals! Casuals!? Don't aneueryzm yet.
It gets worse! I change colors all the time! I need rainbows on my finger tips! Clara! Is that from the mini-bar!? No.
[NODS YES.]
This morning, we were up $200 in snack charges! Your foetus owes me! And if we're checking out, so do all of you.
Why? You're covering the room; you're the one who made us come; and you made all that money off your booth.
No, we're banned from our only income source because Bladezz went divalicious on our fans.
They overreacted.
I was just being me, but more fancy.
Ahem! They're getting rid of all blood graphic effects.
Parents demanded it, in order to market it to tweens.
Screw tweens.
Weren't you just one yourself? They're getting rid of all profanity, they're getting rid of nipple NPC graphics.
Noooo! Centaur chests are the best! I won't let this happen! I'm a Mom, and I fcking love swearing! Clara.
Are you seriously wiping your face with one of our shirts!? Woah, scary villain costume.
Not only did you ditch our business this weekend, but you are using an $8 face napkin! They're taking death out of the game, instead characters will fall to the ground and canaries will circle their heads for fifteen seconds! Oh, oh, they're making an app! Adios; guadalajara! Vork, stop! Listen - I almost quit the game yesterday, but I didn't because I love you assholes!! Well that was weird.
Are you serious? eah, after the thing with you, and the thing with Floyd I just want to quit everything.
That would suck.
No one lets me harass them like you do.
And you technically can't quit.
I believe I have you under contract.
Well, whatever, I'm not gonna, but - look at us.
The convention has separated us.
How are going to survive something like the changing of our whole universe? That would be hopeless! I'd have to abandon Clara, and start a new Clara.
Ugh, poor former-me Clara.
They haven't signed all the paperwork yet.
Floyd is totally stalling - he's neurotic like Codex, we can convince him.
aybe if we can track Floyd down at the ball, and show him how important this game is to us, and then, and then, convince him not to sell Hello, you guys really need to check out the fine print of the program.
It says that costumes are required for a costume ball.
And we ain't got one.
We can use my steampunk one! Well gee-willikers for you.
But the rest of us have no frivilous income left to push as sundry! Yeah, and I can't wear my pirate outfit or get clubbed with a thousand light-sabers.
Fun-fact - I know a fashion designer.
Uh, yeah, I can design, sure, but - where are we going to find materials? Mega-Game-a-Rama-Con! Mega-Game-a-Rama-Con is the Con that's number one! So much fun for every one, it's Mega-Game-a-Rama-Con! Cosplayers dress, 24/7 it's a geek, and gamer heaven! If you're not here, you're out of luck, your entry's just $300! Costume contest, starts in ten minutes! Line up! Okay, watch the Munchkin outfit now, Tink, alright? Clara! You ready? We gotta go find Floyd.
First check out what Zaboo and I made! Yeah! Viola'd! You must be bleeping me!!!!
And I'm not putting my summit on the scale of world peace or, eh European hippies but, this is our game we're talking about! We've got to get off the convention distractions and focus on what matters, I mean - this, this is serious! Clara, I need you to take minutes! Stop eating from the mini-bar! Why don't you throw money in the street!? The situation is as dire as I neurotically surmised yesterday.
Okay, must be a first.
Vork, what are you doing!? Leaving! This has been a horrific experience.
I don't care to keep existing in this time-space.
But you're our ride.
Then I suggest you'd get packing! We're discussing the future of our game, and, and, and, forming a mandate! Besides, we can't leave yet - Zaboo and I spent all morning making the most kick ass costume accessory, ever invented Yeah! Clara and I are going to have a three-way with the trophy later! Please turn that off.
The RTX guy said that their company wants to make the game more accessible.
As fans, we have no right to criticize, what people do with their creative properties.
Oh, please, you're just sensitive about that chick you were flirting with earlier.
Vork flirting? Hurl.
Yeah he got smart-mouthed with some milfy tv star, put his foot in it, and she stormed off in a huff.
I alienated the fantasy love of my life.
I can longer heal this wound of mortification, than pay full price for miniature golf.
Start dating an S&M chick! Then she'll come sniffing around.
Worked for me and Codex.
Yeesh, stink eye'd.
Listen up guys, they're going to make the game free-to-play, appeal to casuals! Casuals!? Don't aneueryzm yet.
It gets worse! I change colors all the time! I need rainbows on my finger tips! Clara! Is that from the mini-bar!? No.
[NODS YES.]
This morning, we were up $200 in snack charges! Your foetus owes me! And if we're checking out, so do all of you.
Why? You're covering the room; you're the one who made us come; and you made all that money off your booth.
No, we're banned from our only income source because Bladezz went divalicious on our fans.
They overreacted.
I was just being me, but more fancy.
Ahem! They're getting rid of all blood graphic effects.
Parents demanded it, in order to market it to tweens.
Screw tweens.
Weren't you just one yourself? They're getting rid of all profanity, they're getting rid of nipple NPC graphics.
Noooo! Centaur chests are the best! I won't let this happen! I'm a Mom, and I fcking love swearing! Clara.
Are you seriously wiping your face with one of our shirts!? Woah, scary villain costume.
Not only did you ditch our business this weekend, but you are using an $8 face napkin! They're taking death out of the game, instead characters will fall to the ground and canaries will circle their heads for fifteen seconds! Oh, oh, they're making an app! Adios; guadalajara! Vork, stop! Listen - I almost quit the game yesterday, but I didn't because I love you assholes!! Well that was weird.
Are you serious? eah, after the thing with you, and the thing with Floyd I just want to quit everything.
That would suck.
No one lets me harass them like you do.
And you technically can't quit.
I believe I have you under contract.
Well, whatever, I'm not gonna, but - look at us.
The convention has separated us.
How are going to survive something like the changing of our whole universe? That would be hopeless! I'd have to abandon Clara, and start a new Clara.
Ugh, poor former-me Clara.
They haven't signed all the paperwork yet.
Floyd is totally stalling - he's neurotic like Codex, we can convince him.
aybe if we can track Floyd down at the ball, and show him how important this game is to us, and then, and then, convince him not to sell Hello, you guys really need to check out the fine print of the program.
It says that costumes are required for a costume ball.
And we ain't got one.
We can use my steampunk one! Well gee-willikers for you.
But the rest of us have no frivilous income left to push as sundry! Yeah, and I can't wear my pirate outfit or get clubbed with a thousand light-sabers.
Fun-fact - I know a fashion designer.
Uh, yeah, I can design, sure, but - where are we going to find materials? Mega-Game-a-Rama-Con! Mega-Game-a-Rama-Con is the Con that's number one! So much fun for every one, it's Mega-Game-a-Rama-Con! Cosplayers dress, 24/7 it's a geek, and gamer heaven! If you're not here, you're out of luck, your entry's just $300! Costume contest, starts in ten minutes! Line up! Okay, watch the Munchkin outfit now, Tink, alright? Clara! You ready? We gotta go find Floyd.
First check out what Zaboo and I made! Yeah! Viola'd! You must be bleeping me!!!!