Top Gear (US) s05e10 Episode Script
Appalachian Trail
Now on Top Gear we attempt to drive the entire length of the Appalachian Trail in just 24 hours - Whoa! - Whoa, he's making the pass! Oh, you slippery little on an epic journey across 14 states in an endurance test Oh, this is crazy.
He's not serious.
- of a lifetime.
- Tanner, watch the train! The Appalachian Trail it's one of the longest continuous trails on earth, running 2,200 miles from Maine to Georgia.
It takes seasoned hikers six months to conquer it.
The brave few that have accomplished it are left with a sense of achievement that lasts a lifetime.
But we don't have six months, and we don't hike.
We drive.
So "Top Gear" challenged us to drive the entire length of the trail in just 24 hours.
We were given $5,000 to pick the best car for the journey and told to meet up at the trailhead in Maine.
You guys realize how long the Appalachian Trail really is? No.
How long is it? It goes through 14 states.
- 14 states? - Yeah.
That's not a trail.
It's a coastline.
Good news is, cars are here.
Hey! Who brought that? It's a trail.
You don't drive on the trail, you dope.
You walk the trail.
We're gonna drive on roads next to the trail, not on the trail.
Look at where we are.
Shortcuts everywhere, and this is a shortcut machine.
It's like a Land Rover, except reliable and has a slightly less attractive woman in the passenger seat.
You can see him trying to convince himself.
Mm-hmm.
It's a 2002 Mitsubishi Montero 200-horsepower v-6.
- 200 horsepower v-6? - Whoa, hold on! - It doesn't sound impressive.
- It's not! It does have locking differentials, though, and low gear range, so I can drive straight up this mountain if I want to.
Just not in a hurry.
Who brought the Jaguar? You couldn't find a Cadillac? I found an English Cadillac.
It's like a Caddie with bad teeth.
This is a 4-liter v-8 supercharged.
Say it with me "supercharged.
" 370 horsepower, zero to 60 in 5.
5 seconds.
This is a luxury hot rod right here The perfect car for this.
I mean, these are great cars on paper.
You get a lot for the money.
But the money's cheap because if one thing breaks, it's so expensive to fix.
You know what's not cheap? Mercedes.
There's no way that was 5 grand.
What, you mean this 2003 Mercedes CL500? - $15,000.
- Easy.
It would be if it wasn't a salvage title.
It was wrecked at some point.
It looks fine now.
- Somebody died in it? - No, I don't think so.
It was used to commit a crime? Flood damage? 302 horsepower, 5-liter v-8.
It's comfortable.
It's got air suspension.
- It looks good.
- The frame is bent.
Well, it's got history.
Yeah, you're driving a crime scene.
What are we doing here? Let's see.
"The Appalachian Trail is 2,200 miles long.
"The shortest distance by car is 1,400 miles, "and according to GPS, it's a 23-hour drive.
"Your challenge is to make it to the end of the trail in 24 hours.
" All right, what time is it? It's just a little bit before noon.
So, you want to wait till noon? - Yeah.
- All right.
Yeah, we can probably just wait till noon.
- All right.
- Let's go.
Let's go.
First one to pavement! Later, losers! See ya! We'd barely started the race, and these two idiots and their old-man cars were already showing their weaknesses.
Power! Power! Power.
There we go.
Okay, get out of the ditch.
You're a Jaguar! There you go.
Oh, boy.
Come on, baby.
This cannot be all you've got.
Come on.
Come on, seriously.
The Montero may not have been the fastest car, but it certainly was the most fun off-road, so I was gonna take a shortcut and see if I could dust those guys.
Hey, Rut, where the hell did Tanner go? I didn't see him.
I'm stuck here behind you.
I don't even see the dust anymore.
While those grumpy old men were taking a comfortable route Oh! I was flying toward pavement.
It was almost too easy.
And my shortcut is awesome.
Oh, there they are! Whoa! Damn it! That wasn't supposed to happen.
Okay.
Now this is happening.
Just got to get to the road.
Once this thing is on asphalt, it's all over.
That is what I'm talking about.
Oh, there's Adam! No! Run him off, baby! Oh, now you're throwing rocks at me?! There it is! Whoo-hoo! Yeah! First to pavement! First to pavement.
That's one for me.
Oh, congratulations.
Yeah, you made it.
Whoo.
Tanner had had his fun, but now he had 23 hours and 50 minutes to enjoy the ride of those big, knobby tires.
Fellas, I've never driven 24 hours before.
How about you? I drove 26 hours in the Baja 1000.
Pissed blood three days.
That's pleasant.
The thing is, I don't know if we can do it.
It says it's a 23-hour trip without stopping.
If we were gonna do this, we needed a strategy.
I'm not gonna eat a lot, and I'm not gonna drink a lot.
I'm gonna try to keep myself just above dehydrated.
Here's what I figure.
We can do fuel, pee, and food in one stop, but sleep I don't think we're gonna be sleeping for a day.
I've got a plan.
I hope you do.
For sleeping? Yeah, yeah, I got a plan.
I have no idea.
I may not have had a plan on how to get some sleep, but at least I was driving in comfort.
This is the perfect car for this trip.
I am sitting in a leather glove right now.
I have wood trim all over the place, the air conditioner blows cold, and it's fast.
It's supercharged.
And look how good I look.
And that is something race boy couldn't say, driving that Montero.
Look at him in that thing.
He looks like a soccer mom in Dubai.
I know these guys think I'm an idiot for choosing an off-road vehicle, and I know the Appalachian Trail is not an off-roading trail, but the fact is they still have off-roading trails all over the place.
I'm gonna keep it exciting.
I'm not gonna stick to the road.
I'm gonna vary my terrain.
Tanner, with his "I'm gonna race off-road" ideas, had missed the point.
This was all about speed, and my Benz was perfect.
I chose this Mercedes because they're built to be on the autobahn, to just go fast for long periods of time.
Plus, an AMG CL55, which is this car but faster, holds the record for the fastest coast-to-coast time right now.
Booyah.
Traffic was light on these country highways, and we were making good time.
And Maine looked great in the rearview mirror.
I believe we are about to cross into our first state, which would be New Hampshire.
Home of 54 covered bridges.
We're coming up on one now.
Ooh, covered bridge.
Here we go.
All the covered bridges are numbered, and sometimes, the nerdy traveler likes to note the number of the bridge they're going over.
I didn't see what number that was.
Well, it's number one for us.
What the Really? Doesn't this guy know we have the right of way? I'm gonna get New York on this guy.
What's up? Okay, get in your car.
Let's go, Adam.
Come on.
That was odd.
Were you gonna fight him? That was funny.
Sorry, fellas, but when you're right, you're right.
With 160 miles of the Appalachian Trail in New Hampshire, we decided to follow Tanner on what we hoped would be a shortcut to shave off some time.
Uh, end of the road, guys? Looks that way.
Uh, actually, I think I could probably get over that thing.
The mountain? Yeah.
I'm going over it.
You're gonna go over that mountain.
Yes.
I am going to drive over that mountain, because I have a capable vehicle that can go on and off-road.
Blah, blah, blah.
Forget that.
I'm going around, and I'm gonna beat you there.
Yeah, I'm gonna take the quickest way through.
See you there, losers.
Yeah, make a tunnel, Adam.
Good luck with that.
Now, this is a shortcut.
Those guys have to drive all the way around this mountain, and I'm going almost the same speed as the speed limit on the road, over the mountain in a straight line.
As I headed higher, Rut was easing into his long drive around the mountain.
I think somebody's gonna have to check me for ticks.
I don't know what those guys are thinking.
I'm gonna get around this mountain, and I'm gonna do it quickly.
This car may have been wrecked and repaired, but it was $90,000 new.
It's insanely comfortable, luxurious, and fast.
It was a perfect choice for a road trip.
Repeat road trip.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Holy crap.
All right, I need this thing to last to the end.
Oh.
How does Tanner think he's gonna beat this car? That doesn't make any sense at all.
It's not gonna happen.
Whoa.
Bump.
What is Adam gonna do? Does he think he can keep up with Tanner on the trails? That's not gonna work.
Nope.
I had come up with a far more civilized plan.
While those two idiots took the long way And we're getting almost to the What the hell?! Holy Is that Adam's car? Adam, is that you? No, it's another Jaguar going over a mountain.
Yeah, it's me.
Adam put his car underneath a gondola.
What is wrong with him? How did you get that done? You got to be kidding me.
Turns out, I got a guy.
You got a guy.
Okay.
Well, it's a race now, my friend.
Yep, and you're losing.
See you at the bottom.
Now it's on.
Now it is on.
There was no way I was gonna lose to Adam.
What I needed was a helping hand from above.
Come on, bring it, Tanner! Oh.
Oh, that's not good.
Coming up Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold the phone.
Adam runs into an old friend in Vermont.
And later, in Jersey I'm calling about the car for sale.
we finally find a good use for a Saab.
We had been challenged to drive the entire length of the Appalachian Trail in less than 24 hours.
Just an hour in, and with over 1,300 miles to go, we hit our first obstacle a mountain.
While Tanner had opted to go over, I went the long way around and stuck to the pavement.
And Adam he had just gotten himself stuck.
Oh.
Oh, that's not good.
Hello? Hello? How do you start this thing? Nothing.
There we go! Nothing beats the old "kick it until it works.
" He's coming.
My plan had worked.
I had scaled the mountain.
All I had to do now was avoid the shrubs.
Watch the trees.
Montero wins again.
Damn it.
How did he get down so fast? Once again, the Montero was victorious off-road.
And as Rut caught up with us, he was determined to show off his on-road prowess.
Hey, Tanner, watch this launch.
Hey, Rut, when you went full throttle there, a bunch of fake-gold hoop earrings shot out of the exhaust.
That was weird.
Back together, we settled into the drive and took in the scenery.
It's pretty up here.
I mean, this is a beautiful drive.
The mountains are awesome.
And it's gonna look a lot like this the whole way.
Rut, this trail goes through 14 states? Yeah.
It's a lot.
I think it's Georgia, North Carolina, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, maybe just a skosh of Vermont.
What else? Keep it going.
Uh Ohio? It does not go through Ohio.
No, I was just saying, "oh, hi, oh, how are you doing?" While the boy from the south brushed up on his geography It ends in Georgia.
I know that much.
My home state.
I decided to borrow a trick from NASCAR to help me save on fuel.
Oh, now we have a little draft train going, here.
Okay.
Hey! Hey! Knock it off! Really? This is what we're doing? Listen, Tanner, for some reason, is ramming me, and he's sending me into you.
I'm sorry.
Hey, I'm bump drafting.
That is for both of our benefit.
Are you trying to hypermile? Is that what you think you're doing there, with 200 horsepower on 35? I'm drafting off of that big pig.
Sometimes, a little rubbing happens.
That's all.
With four hours of driving behind us, we were still only in Vermont.
I had no idea how the hell we were gonna make Georgia in 20 hours.
Apparently, it was time for another Tanner Foust solution.
See you, gentlemen.
Oh, come on.
Choose your destiny.
Great.
Do we follow him or not? Screw it.
I got nothing to lose here.
I'll try it.
[Bleep.]
Finally, a good idea.
We don't know it's a good idea yet.
When I took a shortcut before, it worked, right? Yeah, even a busted clock is right twice a day.
See? Power lines.
They always go straight, they have the trees cut down.
Oh, this seems like a good idea.
I know, right? It's, like, a great idea.
It's, like, the best idea ever.
I can't believe you guys didn't follow me on the last one.
Oh, yeah, you have cars.
If we kept up at this pace, we'd be saving a lot of time.
I have a good feeling about this shortcut, though.
The last one was pretty good, but this one Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hold the phone.
Hold the phone.
What phone? Why? What happened? There's cows in the road here.
Cows? Awesome shortcut.
Oh, this isn't good.
Of course they like the jag.
You should go look at the Montero.
Hi.
Oh, that's a lot of poo on you.
Hey, Rut, do some cattle talk to them.
Excuse us.
Coming through, girl.
Come on.
Pardon me.
So, we slowly rolled through the cow patties of another Tanner Foust-led fiasco.
If there's one thing you know, it's a good shortcut, huh? - Hey, Rut.
- Yeah, Tanner? Watch this launch.
Wow.
Looks like you just You would have actually dirtied my car more if you had just kicked some dirt on me.
We were only five hours in and already losing time.
We finally hit Massachusetts, where the Appalachian Trail summits the highest peak in the state, and Rut wanted to mark the occasion with something special.
You know what? I think we should write a poem, so here goes.
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
Why would you pick a Montero? You're stupid.
You know, that Montero is the same color as the cow poop.
And speaking of poop Yeah, I wonder if the GPS, like, accounts for gas stops and bathroom breaks.
You didn't use the bathroom before we left? I did have to go, but I had planned for this very moment.
This is gonna be awesome.
Hey, buddy! Hey! Hey, Rut.
All ready for you, buddy.
What is Rut doing there? He's probably trying to sell the car.
Let me back in, Adam.
Coming in.
All right.
Come on back.
This will be great.
Oh.
That's what he's doing.
He has a very sensitive stomach.
Okay.
Here I go.
Put her down in first, get a little running start.
Oh! Go to the left, Rut! To the left! Oh! Coming up, I deal with an annoying tailgater.
Brake check! And later Tanner, watch the train! Tanner chases the midnight train to Georgia.
We had been challenged to drive the entire distance of the Appalachian Trail in just 24 hours.
So far, Adam had gotten hung up taking a shortcut.
Oh.
And Tanner had led us out to pasture.
Pardon me.
Almost six hours in, we made our way through Massachusetts, and our cars were holding up well.
Hey, hey! Although the same couldn't be said for my digestive system.
Here I go.
Luckily, I had planned for this.
Put her down in first, get a little running start.
Oh! Go to the left, Rut! - To the left! - Oh! A little left.
Unfortunately, I hadn't planned for this.
I had to deal with my irrational fear of falling off a moving flatbed.
Okay.
I can do this.
Okay.
He's climbing up the trailer.
Oh, my gosh.
He's really got to go.
Oh, it's gonna work.
Rut, it'd be a lot safer if you just wore your depends.
Oh.
He's nimble.
Oh! They say necessity is the mother of all invention, which got us thinking.
If I owned a porta-potty business, it would be "Ferrara's porta-potty We're number one in the number-two business.
" "When your gut is feeling kind of plump, open the door and take a " What a moron.
Oh, here he comes.
Did you wash? With Rut finally off the throne It worked! we were back on the road.
With only 14 hours to go, we needed to cover some serious ground if we were gonna make Georgia in just 24 hours.
Miraculously, we had made it through Western Massachusetts and Connecticut, all the way to my home state of New York, without Rut having to go again.
So if Rut was the pissy kid that needed to go to the bathroom every 20 minutes, Tanner is the annoying little brother.
Tanner, don't.
Don't you do it.
Don't do it.
Tanner, don't hit me on the highway! Really, dude? Really? You are a child.
Do you know that? Yes, I do.
Tanner, you're a slow-moving prison bully in that thing.
Going on the high side.
Hey, Tanner, you know what happens when you tailgate in New York? Brake check! What the hell was that, Adam? Oh, that was beautiful.
After that teaching moment, we left New York and entered the garden state of New Jersey.
That's Phil cutting the lawn.
You know, we're not quite halfway through, and thus far, the car has been pretty good.
When I was a kid, my dad had an old Mercedes, and every summer, we would cross the country in that, so when I see that Mercedes emblem, it takes me back.
And those were fun times.
That's when a road trip was a road trip.
This is a supercharger whine.
That's good.
And speaking of whining, we thought it might be fun to upset Montero boy.
Adam, it does feel like we should just stretch the legs a little bit, since we brought real cars here, don't you think? I like your thinking, son.
One, two, three, go! Oh, the Benz is fast! See ya! Whoo! Tanner, are you back there somewhere? Hey, Rut, how you doing on fuel back there? You know what? I'm actually getting pretty decent fuel mileage back here, but, yeah, I could use a fill up.
I'm getting great gas mileage.
Four-by-fouring, I'm telling you, is like hypermiling, basically.
No, it's not.
Okay, so you need fuel, too.
Yeah, I could stop.
How about this? Let's all get gas together, same time.
Nobody jumps ahead.
- Agreed.
- Agreed.
I don't trust these guys one bit.
Our first official gas stop.
We needed to be fast and efficient, like a NASCAR pit crew.
Tanner was taking the NASCAR idea a bit too far.
You thought I'd get you, didn't you? How much damage could you cause? That thing has no power.
Don't forget, we got to be fast.
We do need to go, right? We do need to go.
Just step it up a little here.
- Uh, hey, Tanner.
- Yes.
Is it me or is your front tire flat? That looks awfully low.
Wha When did that happen? Did you even feel it? Like, does it handle so poorly, you can't tell the difference of there's air in a tire or there's not air in a tire? Montero's such a capable vehicle.
- Clock's ticking.
We got to go.
- Yeah.
You gonna help me jack this thing up? - Uh, no.
- Come on.
- Oh, yeah.
No.
- Do you have a jack? 'Cause I don't actually have a jack.
- I don't have a jack.
- You have a jack with that thing.
- It comes with a jack.
- It won't even hit the bottom of the car.
All the way up, it wouldn't.
Hold tight.
I got a plan.
That sounds a lot like "I know a shortcut.
" I'm not a doctor, but that's a flat.
Yeah.
Ooh.
- Ooh, that sounds good.
- What's he doing? Okay.
Coming up, Adam has a risky idea.
We're gonna catch a train! Adam, you can't be serious.
Oh, he is serious.
Wait for me! What are you doing?! We were in New Jersey, almost halfway through our race from Maine to Georgia, driving the length of the Appalachian Trail in just 24 hours.
Adam had already taken a creative shortcut over a mountain, and Rut had managed to take a bathroom break while on the go.
It worked! Behind schedule, with a flat tire and no jack, I had been forced to think out of the box.
- What's he doing? - Okay.
That's good there.
That's good there.
Perfect! Perfect! But won't that that was a perfectly good Saab.
No.
It was a Saab.
This is why we don't have nice things.
Very true.
Do you have a tire iron? - Uh, no.
- Do you? I'm gonna get a tire iron.
What kind of person would see a car and think, "oh, I'll just drive on that"? I wonder why you guys think I'm the lunatic on this show.
Fair point.
That's Oh, man! This is a nice plaid here.
Stable as can be.
Yeah, but you're not.
One, two, three.
You're earning your allowance this week.
That's how you change a tire.
Can we get on the road now? Are you done? Yeah.
I'm done.
- Follow me.
- He's done.
Oh, yeah, let's follow you.
"Oh, we've got a shortcut.
" Follow you, what, over the Saab? Yeah, calling about the car for sale.
How much do you want? Well, Tanner's ready to go.
And as the sun went down, we contemplated the idea of driving through the night.
What was the name of that horror film that was based on some hikers going through the Appalachian Trail? Oh, "The Blair Witch Project.
" How scary was that? Yeah.
No, I'm asking.
I didn't see it.
I don't watch scary stuff.
I didn't see it either, but the thing, like, was a box-office hit and cost nothing to make, and it was, like, the most famous thing ever to happen at the Appalachian Trail.
That was shot in the Black Hills forest, you idiot.
Do you think that this is a good place to practice your sasquatch call? You know how loud you're gonna have to yell? Bigfoot's not here.
He's in the Pacific Northwest.
Hold on.
Let me clear my throat.
Yeah, it sounds like you just got a bikini wax.
It might have been the full moon, or driving over 12 hours straight, but as we made our way through Pennsylvania, we were getting a little loopy And very tired.
Adam, I know this is gonna sound crazy, but I can't drive through the night, man.
Whoa, whoa.
What's the matter? I'm gonna drive on the rumble strips for a minute.
Did you wake up? All right, come on, wake up.
Wake up! All right, boys, head out the windows on three.
Three, two, one.
That didn't work.
No, that didn't really work.
It was obvious if we didn't want to fall asleep at the wheel, we were gonna need a plan.
All right, fellas, look.
This is getting dangerous.
I got an idea.
Follow me.
Yeah, that seems less dangerous.
Just shut up and follow me.
We don't say "shut up" in this family.
What a nice childhood you had.
Clearly, we were desperate, 'cause we were following Adam, but how crazy could his idea be? Come on, fellas.
We're gonna catch a train! I don't think we can just catch a train, Adam.
Holy crap, it's moving! Adam, you're not really thinking about this, are you? Stay with me, boys! Here's our chance.
This is what I'm looking for.
Oh, this is crazy.
He's not serious.
Oh, he is serious.
Go, Rut, go, go, go, go, go! You're gonna miss it! Whoa! Come on, Tanner.
Wait for me! What are you doing?! Sure you don't need gas, Rut? Rut stops for a quickie.
Hey, fellas.
We were in Pennsylvania, over halfway to Georgia on our 24-hour Appalachian marathon.
But we were behind schedule and exhausted.
I can't drive through the night, man.
It looked like we'd be forced to drive all night.
But then Adam, for once I got an idea.
had a brilliant idea.
- Come on, fellas! - Adam, you can't be serious.
Go, Rut, go, go, go, go, go! Whoa! Come on, Tanner.
Come on.
Yeah! Come on, are you serious? Oh, you guys suck.
You guys suck.
That was awesome.
But from where I was sitting, it wasn't so awesome.
We're gonna make it, and we're gonna get to get some sleep, and we're gonna win.
I needed to get some sleep, too, so this was do or die.
Guys, guys, guys, guys! Hey, hey, hey, hey! Wait for me! What are you doing?! Oh, there's Tanner.
Guys! Guys! What is he doing? Hey! Hey, really, you're just gonna You're just leaving me here? Oh, you'll be fine.
You're a racecar driver, right? How do I get on the damn train? I don't have a brake! I can't hit a brake! Just rolled up my double-pane soundproof glass.
Guys! Can't even hear Tanner screaming.
Come on, really? Tanner, watch the train! See ya! Sucker.
Thank you.
I hope he knows a shortcut.
The heck with those guys.
I've driven long, grueling stretches before in my racing career.
But on a racetrack, the adrenaline is pumping, and you don't have time to get tired.
On the road, you've got nothing but time.
See, the problem is you start to visualize "Wow, it's kind of like I'm driving through a tunnel.
" Like, "oh, there's, like, "these drawings on the side of the tunnel.
"That's a building.
That's a green light on the top of the tunnel.
" Before you know it, you're dreaming about driving in a tunnel.
Meanwhile, Rut and I were having sweet dreams, secure in the knowledge of Tanner's long, sleepless night.
Or so we thought.
As morning came, and with only five hours left to reach the finish line, Adam and I de-boarded the train in Virginia, a state that takes an Appalachian hiker a month to cross.
I was practically home.
I'd like to just go on the record and say how much I enjoy the south.
The people down here, they're just They're just good people.
I will tell you this.
You're very polite people.
I consider you a southern gentleman.
I will tell you one good thing about new yorkers.
If they're angry with you, they're gonna tell you right to your face.
There's gonna be no mystery.
We're not gonna say, "well, he's a nice guy, bless his heart," which is southern code for "who brought this moron?" And speaking of morons Whoa! Look who's here.
How the hell did you catch up? Drove all night, my friend, and got amazing gas mileage, I might say.
He didn't drive all night.
You didn't drive all night.
Sure, I was on the road all night.
Belee that.
Okay, I don't "belee that.
" That's a Montero.
It's not a time machine.
Both of you got on a train.
Come on.
And if you had a decent car, you would have made the train, too.
That's true.
I was lucky enough to get some shut-eye.
But my Montero, on the other hand, wasn't quite as refreshed.
I'd pushed it too hard to catch up with these train-hopping idiots.
Oh, yeah, I'm running a little hot from that hill, so I'll cool down here.
What? The Montero's running a little hot, pushing all that weight up a hill? That's crazy.
You're kidding.
Why's it doing that? Could be it's underpowered.
What do you think? So far, Tanner had taken us down a dead end, missed the train, and now his overheating Montero is risking our entire mission.
Just pull over for a second here.
Oh, great.
This will just take a second.
Yeah, sure.
Fan's spinning.
Oh, that's hot.
Ooh, that smells good.
Yeah, yeah, it's a little warm.
It's just some of those last hills, I think, were a bit Smells like coolant.
I notice that there's some leakage up here, like maybe this radiator's had some problems in the past.
Think so? Yeah, it's got brown - What are you doing? - Look how hot the motor is.
Step away.
Step away.
- Come on, we got to go.
- Chocolate on the Oh! What is that? Oh, run, Rut.
Oh! What are you doing?! Welcome to Montero country! Are you guys ready? We're losing time, Tanner, with your shenanigans.
Yeah, and a taillight.
Moron.
Back on the road, we made some good time speeding through West Virginia, Tennessee, and North Carolina.
Finally, we hit Georgia, the last state on the Appalachian Trail.
Gentlemen, I think we might need one more fuel stop before the final push.
Yeah.
Hold on.
I got to make a phone call.
He's making phone calls now.
What do you mean, you got to make a phone call? He's probably calling for a pizza.
Pizza did sound good, but I was focused on beating these guys to the finish line, and I had one last trick up my sleeve.
Hey, guys, good news.
I know what gas station will be our last fuel-up.
Just follow me, all right? You copy that, Montero? On the caboose.
These guys have no idea what they're in for.
Gas station should be right up here.
Hey, Rut, is there a race in town? No, no race in town.
Why do you ask? I don't know.
There's a big truck right here.
Hey, Clint Bowyer's truck.
Sure you don't need gas, Rut? Oh, I need gas, all right.
Hey, fellas.
Oh, you slippery little We're in a mad race against time I am going for the win.
as we push to make it to the end of the trail.
Oh! We had made it to Georgia on our quest to conquer the Appalachian Trail in just 24 hours.
But we were cutting it close, with 100 miles to go and only 90 minutes to get there.
And with our cars on empty, we were forced to make one last stop.
From here on, it was every man for himself.
Sure you don't need gas, Rut? Oh, I need gas, all right.
Hey, fellas.
Hey, fellas.
Looking good.
He's getting outside help.
You think? Here! Oh, they're showing off.
I got it.
That's good.
At least I cheated on my own.
Really? You strapped the cables on your own car? Fair enough.
There we go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Whoo! Can you believe that? You know, he's cheating, but I like his style.
Good to have friends, I guess.
That's it.
- Seriously? - What? You're done? I'm done! After a splash and dash, Adam and I were in hot pursuit of the bearded one who was now a mile ahead of us, feeling rather pleased with himself.
Now, that's how you make a pit stop, right there.
Right? Oh, I bet those guys are mad right now.
And I am going for the win.
Can you believe that? Blatant cheating.
That son of a And so the race was on.
I needed to win this.
With under an hour to go to make the 24-hour deadline, it was time for me to take advantage of the Montero's strengths.
You know what? This has been fun on the road and everything.
Have a good time at 55 miles an hour.
See ya! Where are you going? To the finish.
Oh, you slippery little damn.
Now, this is a shortcut.
The quickest way between two points is a straight line, and I had the only machine that could do that.
That is a big bump, and I can't slow down.
Out on the open road, Adam, in the supercharged jag, had clawed his way back up to Rut.
- Hello, big girl! - Really? Where the hell did you come from? Oh, he's making the pass! No! See ya at the finish line.
Whoa! Holy crap.
As Tanner continued his charge cross-country to the finish, there was no way I was gonna let Adam win.
Oh, there we go.
Oh! Uphill pass! Yeah! I can't take my eyes off you for a minute.
Look who's got the lead now.
With less than a mile to go, this was my last chance to pass Rut.
I see what you're trying to do Keep me from coming around.
Want to get your big [bleep.]
out of my way? I was ahead of Adam, but had I beaten Tanner? Oh, man, I think this is it.
Come on, come on.
Oh, this is it! Yeah, I don't see Tanner.
I'm gonna win! Oh, that's it! That's it! Whoo! This guy.
- That - I win.
Well, what time is it? Oh, gosh.
It's 12:06.
Which means you lost.
Well, it means you lost.
I just lost less 'cause I got here sooner.
You're the first loser.
That's worse than being a second loser.
We're the only ones here, which means we win Right? As far as he knows, we do.
Then if you don't tell him that we both lost, then it's a tie.
- I'm in.
- Okay.
Where do you think he is? - Probably broken down.
- Yeah.
He might be already trying to sell it for parts, since I'm sure it blew up.
You're not serious.
No! Oh! Are you kidding me? I just [bleep.]
my pants.
You scared the big girl.
Oh, that was nice.
What time is it? You lost.
You guys made it in 24 hours? - Yeah.
- We were here.
I actually came on the trail.
Do you see that? See the trailhead right there? I was on the trail.
I did the Appalachian Trail.
You did some roads around it.
You didn't do the Appalachian Trail.
You drove through the woods.
Leave nothing but your footprints.
It says nothing about big, fat, knobby tread marks.
- Yeah.
- That's what you want the sign to say "No big, fat, knobby tread marks, Tanner Foust"? It should if they don't want you to drive a Montero on it.
Here you go.
That's for second place.
- Yeah.
You earned it.
- For your sweet tooth.
Thank you.
I'm kind of hungry, actually.
I think I need to change my tire.
You just park right there, okay? Don't move that.
Follow me.
I'm gonna find a hotel.
Nope, you're gonna not Don't do that.
Put the regular tire back on.
Don't do it.
Don't do it.
Don't you come near my jag.
He's not serious.
- of a lifetime.
- Tanner, watch the train! The Appalachian Trail it's one of the longest continuous trails on earth, running 2,200 miles from Maine to Georgia.
It takes seasoned hikers six months to conquer it.
The brave few that have accomplished it are left with a sense of achievement that lasts a lifetime.
But we don't have six months, and we don't hike.
We drive.
So "Top Gear" challenged us to drive the entire length of the trail in just 24 hours.
We were given $5,000 to pick the best car for the journey and told to meet up at the trailhead in Maine.
You guys realize how long the Appalachian Trail really is? No.
How long is it? It goes through 14 states.
- 14 states? - Yeah.
That's not a trail.
It's a coastline.
Good news is, cars are here.
Hey! Who brought that? It's a trail.
You don't drive on the trail, you dope.
You walk the trail.
We're gonna drive on roads next to the trail, not on the trail.
Look at where we are.
Shortcuts everywhere, and this is a shortcut machine.
It's like a Land Rover, except reliable and has a slightly less attractive woman in the passenger seat.
You can see him trying to convince himself.
Mm-hmm.
It's a 2002 Mitsubishi Montero 200-horsepower v-6.
- 200 horsepower v-6? - Whoa, hold on! - It doesn't sound impressive.
- It's not! It does have locking differentials, though, and low gear range, so I can drive straight up this mountain if I want to.
Just not in a hurry.
Who brought the Jaguar? You couldn't find a Cadillac? I found an English Cadillac.
It's like a Caddie with bad teeth.
This is a 4-liter v-8 supercharged.
Say it with me "supercharged.
" 370 horsepower, zero to 60 in 5.
5 seconds.
This is a luxury hot rod right here The perfect car for this.
I mean, these are great cars on paper.
You get a lot for the money.
But the money's cheap because if one thing breaks, it's so expensive to fix.
You know what's not cheap? Mercedes.
There's no way that was 5 grand.
What, you mean this 2003 Mercedes CL500? - $15,000.
- Easy.
It would be if it wasn't a salvage title.
It was wrecked at some point.
It looks fine now.
- Somebody died in it? - No, I don't think so.
It was used to commit a crime? Flood damage? 302 horsepower, 5-liter v-8.
It's comfortable.
It's got air suspension.
- It looks good.
- The frame is bent.
Well, it's got history.
Yeah, you're driving a crime scene.
What are we doing here? Let's see.
"The Appalachian Trail is 2,200 miles long.
"The shortest distance by car is 1,400 miles, "and according to GPS, it's a 23-hour drive.
"Your challenge is to make it to the end of the trail in 24 hours.
" All right, what time is it? It's just a little bit before noon.
So, you want to wait till noon? - Yeah.
- All right.
Yeah, we can probably just wait till noon.
- All right.
- Let's go.
Let's go.
First one to pavement! Later, losers! See ya! We'd barely started the race, and these two idiots and their old-man cars were already showing their weaknesses.
Power! Power! Power.
There we go.
Okay, get out of the ditch.
You're a Jaguar! There you go.
Oh, boy.
Come on, baby.
This cannot be all you've got.
Come on.
Come on, seriously.
The Montero may not have been the fastest car, but it certainly was the most fun off-road, so I was gonna take a shortcut and see if I could dust those guys.
Hey, Rut, where the hell did Tanner go? I didn't see him.
I'm stuck here behind you.
I don't even see the dust anymore.
While those grumpy old men were taking a comfortable route Oh! I was flying toward pavement.
It was almost too easy.
And my shortcut is awesome.
Oh, there they are! Whoa! Damn it! That wasn't supposed to happen.
Okay.
Now this is happening.
Just got to get to the road.
Once this thing is on asphalt, it's all over.
That is what I'm talking about.
Oh, there's Adam! No! Run him off, baby! Oh, now you're throwing rocks at me?! There it is! Whoo-hoo! Yeah! First to pavement! First to pavement.
That's one for me.
Oh, congratulations.
Yeah, you made it.
Whoo.
Tanner had had his fun, but now he had 23 hours and 50 minutes to enjoy the ride of those big, knobby tires.
Fellas, I've never driven 24 hours before.
How about you? I drove 26 hours in the Baja 1000.
Pissed blood three days.
That's pleasant.
The thing is, I don't know if we can do it.
It says it's a 23-hour trip without stopping.
If we were gonna do this, we needed a strategy.
I'm not gonna eat a lot, and I'm not gonna drink a lot.
I'm gonna try to keep myself just above dehydrated.
Here's what I figure.
We can do fuel, pee, and food in one stop, but sleep I don't think we're gonna be sleeping for a day.
I've got a plan.
I hope you do.
For sleeping? Yeah, yeah, I got a plan.
I have no idea.
I may not have had a plan on how to get some sleep, but at least I was driving in comfort.
This is the perfect car for this trip.
I am sitting in a leather glove right now.
I have wood trim all over the place, the air conditioner blows cold, and it's fast.
It's supercharged.
And look how good I look.
And that is something race boy couldn't say, driving that Montero.
Look at him in that thing.
He looks like a soccer mom in Dubai.
I know these guys think I'm an idiot for choosing an off-road vehicle, and I know the Appalachian Trail is not an off-roading trail, but the fact is they still have off-roading trails all over the place.
I'm gonna keep it exciting.
I'm not gonna stick to the road.
I'm gonna vary my terrain.
Tanner, with his "I'm gonna race off-road" ideas, had missed the point.
This was all about speed, and my Benz was perfect.
I chose this Mercedes because they're built to be on the autobahn, to just go fast for long periods of time.
Plus, an AMG CL55, which is this car but faster, holds the record for the fastest coast-to-coast time right now.
Booyah.
Traffic was light on these country highways, and we were making good time.
And Maine looked great in the rearview mirror.
I believe we are about to cross into our first state, which would be New Hampshire.
Home of 54 covered bridges.
We're coming up on one now.
Ooh, covered bridge.
Here we go.
All the covered bridges are numbered, and sometimes, the nerdy traveler likes to note the number of the bridge they're going over.
I didn't see what number that was.
Well, it's number one for us.
What the Really? Doesn't this guy know we have the right of way? I'm gonna get New York on this guy.
What's up? Okay, get in your car.
Let's go, Adam.
Come on.
That was odd.
Were you gonna fight him? That was funny.
Sorry, fellas, but when you're right, you're right.
With 160 miles of the Appalachian Trail in New Hampshire, we decided to follow Tanner on what we hoped would be a shortcut to shave off some time.
Uh, end of the road, guys? Looks that way.
Uh, actually, I think I could probably get over that thing.
The mountain? Yeah.
I'm going over it.
You're gonna go over that mountain.
Yes.
I am going to drive over that mountain, because I have a capable vehicle that can go on and off-road.
Blah, blah, blah.
Forget that.
I'm going around, and I'm gonna beat you there.
Yeah, I'm gonna take the quickest way through.
See you there, losers.
Yeah, make a tunnel, Adam.
Good luck with that.
Now, this is a shortcut.
Those guys have to drive all the way around this mountain, and I'm going almost the same speed as the speed limit on the road, over the mountain in a straight line.
As I headed higher, Rut was easing into his long drive around the mountain.
I think somebody's gonna have to check me for ticks.
I don't know what those guys are thinking.
I'm gonna get around this mountain, and I'm gonna do it quickly.
This car may have been wrecked and repaired, but it was $90,000 new.
It's insanely comfortable, luxurious, and fast.
It was a perfect choice for a road trip.
Repeat road trip.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Holy crap.
All right, I need this thing to last to the end.
Oh.
How does Tanner think he's gonna beat this car? That doesn't make any sense at all.
It's not gonna happen.
Whoa.
Bump.
What is Adam gonna do? Does he think he can keep up with Tanner on the trails? That's not gonna work.
Nope.
I had come up with a far more civilized plan.
While those two idiots took the long way And we're getting almost to the What the hell?! Holy Is that Adam's car? Adam, is that you? No, it's another Jaguar going over a mountain.
Yeah, it's me.
Adam put his car underneath a gondola.
What is wrong with him? How did you get that done? You got to be kidding me.
Turns out, I got a guy.
You got a guy.
Okay.
Well, it's a race now, my friend.
Yep, and you're losing.
See you at the bottom.
Now it's on.
Now it is on.
There was no way I was gonna lose to Adam.
What I needed was a helping hand from above.
Come on, bring it, Tanner! Oh.
Oh, that's not good.
Coming up Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold the phone.
Adam runs into an old friend in Vermont.
And later, in Jersey I'm calling about the car for sale.
we finally find a good use for a Saab.
We had been challenged to drive the entire length of the Appalachian Trail in less than 24 hours.
Just an hour in, and with over 1,300 miles to go, we hit our first obstacle a mountain.
While Tanner had opted to go over, I went the long way around and stuck to the pavement.
And Adam he had just gotten himself stuck.
Oh.
Oh, that's not good.
Hello? Hello? How do you start this thing? Nothing.
There we go! Nothing beats the old "kick it until it works.
" He's coming.
My plan had worked.
I had scaled the mountain.
All I had to do now was avoid the shrubs.
Watch the trees.
Montero wins again.
Damn it.
How did he get down so fast? Once again, the Montero was victorious off-road.
And as Rut caught up with us, he was determined to show off his on-road prowess.
Hey, Tanner, watch this launch.
Hey, Rut, when you went full throttle there, a bunch of fake-gold hoop earrings shot out of the exhaust.
That was weird.
Back together, we settled into the drive and took in the scenery.
It's pretty up here.
I mean, this is a beautiful drive.
The mountains are awesome.
And it's gonna look a lot like this the whole way.
Rut, this trail goes through 14 states? Yeah.
It's a lot.
I think it's Georgia, North Carolina, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, maybe just a skosh of Vermont.
What else? Keep it going.
Uh Ohio? It does not go through Ohio.
No, I was just saying, "oh, hi, oh, how are you doing?" While the boy from the south brushed up on his geography It ends in Georgia.
I know that much.
My home state.
I decided to borrow a trick from NASCAR to help me save on fuel.
Oh, now we have a little draft train going, here.
Okay.
Hey! Hey! Knock it off! Really? This is what we're doing? Listen, Tanner, for some reason, is ramming me, and he's sending me into you.
I'm sorry.
Hey, I'm bump drafting.
That is for both of our benefit.
Are you trying to hypermile? Is that what you think you're doing there, with 200 horsepower on 35? I'm drafting off of that big pig.
Sometimes, a little rubbing happens.
That's all.
With four hours of driving behind us, we were still only in Vermont.
I had no idea how the hell we were gonna make Georgia in 20 hours.
Apparently, it was time for another Tanner Foust solution.
See you, gentlemen.
Oh, come on.
Choose your destiny.
Great.
Do we follow him or not? Screw it.
I got nothing to lose here.
I'll try it.
[Bleep.]
Finally, a good idea.
We don't know it's a good idea yet.
When I took a shortcut before, it worked, right? Yeah, even a busted clock is right twice a day.
See? Power lines.
They always go straight, they have the trees cut down.
Oh, this seems like a good idea.
I know, right? It's, like, a great idea.
It's, like, the best idea ever.
I can't believe you guys didn't follow me on the last one.
Oh, yeah, you have cars.
If we kept up at this pace, we'd be saving a lot of time.
I have a good feeling about this shortcut, though.
The last one was pretty good, but this one Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hold the phone.
Hold the phone.
What phone? Why? What happened? There's cows in the road here.
Cows? Awesome shortcut.
Oh, this isn't good.
Of course they like the jag.
You should go look at the Montero.
Hi.
Oh, that's a lot of poo on you.
Hey, Rut, do some cattle talk to them.
Excuse us.
Coming through, girl.
Come on.
Pardon me.
So, we slowly rolled through the cow patties of another Tanner Foust-led fiasco.
If there's one thing you know, it's a good shortcut, huh? - Hey, Rut.
- Yeah, Tanner? Watch this launch.
Wow.
Looks like you just You would have actually dirtied my car more if you had just kicked some dirt on me.
We were only five hours in and already losing time.
We finally hit Massachusetts, where the Appalachian Trail summits the highest peak in the state, and Rut wanted to mark the occasion with something special.
You know what? I think we should write a poem, so here goes.
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
Why would you pick a Montero? You're stupid.
You know, that Montero is the same color as the cow poop.
And speaking of poop Yeah, I wonder if the GPS, like, accounts for gas stops and bathroom breaks.
You didn't use the bathroom before we left? I did have to go, but I had planned for this very moment.
This is gonna be awesome.
Hey, buddy! Hey! Hey, Rut.
All ready for you, buddy.
What is Rut doing there? He's probably trying to sell the car.
Let me back in, Adam.
Coming in.
All right.
Come on back.
This will be great.
Oh.
That's what he's doing.
He has a very sensitive stomach.
Okay.
Here I go.
Put her down in first, get a little running start.
Oh! Go to the left, Rut! To the left! Oh! Coming up, I deal with an annoying tailgater.
Brake check! And later Tanner, watch the train! Tanner chases the midnight train to Georgia.
We had been challenged to drive the entire distance of the Appalachian Trail in just 24 hours.
So far, Adam had gotten hung up taking a shortcut.
Oh.
And Tanner had led us out to pasture.
Pardon me.
Almost six hours in, we made our way through Massachusetts, and our cars were holding up well.
Hey, hey! Although the same couldn't be said for my digestive system.
Here I go.
Luckily, I had planned for this.
Put her down in first, get a little running start.
Oh! Go to the left, Rut! - To the left! - Oh! A little left.
Unfortunately, I hadn't planned for this.
I had to deal with my irrational fear of falling off a moving flatbed.
Okay.
I can do this.
Okay.
He's climbing up the trailer.
Oh, my gosh.
He's really got to go.
Oh, it's gonna work.
Rut, it'd be a lot safer if you just wore your depends.
Oh.
He's nimble.
Oh! They say necessity is the mother of all invention, which got us thinking.
If I owned a porta-potty business, it would be "Ferrara's porta-potty We're number one in the number-two business.
" "When your gut is feeling kind of plump, open the door and take a " What a moron.
Oh, here he comes.
Did you wash? With Rut finally off the throne It worked! we were back on the road.
With only 14 hours to go, we needed to cover some serious ground if we were gonna make Georgia in just 24 hours.
Miraculously, we had made it through Western Massachusetts and Connecticut, all the way to my home state of New York, without Rut having to go again.
So if Rut was the pissy kid that needed to go to the bathroom every 20 minutes, Tanner is the annoying little brother.
Tanner, don't.
Don't you do it.
Don't do it.
Tanner, don't hit me on the highway! Really, dude? Really? You are a child.
Do you know that? Yes, I do.
Tanner, you're a slow-moving prison bully in that thing.
Going on the high side.
Hey, Tanner, you know what happens when you tailgate in New York? Brake check! What the hell was that, Adam? Oh, that was beautiful.
After that teaching moment, we left New York and entered the garden state of New Jersey.
That's Phil cutting the lawn.
You know, we're not quite halfway through, and thus far, the car has been pretty good.
When I was a kid, my dad had an old Mercedes, and every summer, we would cross the country in that, so when I see that Mercedes emblem, it takes me back.
And those were fun times.
That's when a road trip was a road trip.
This is a supercharger whine.
That's good.
And speaking of whining, we thought it might be fun to upset Montero boy.
Adam, it does feel like we should just stretch the legs a little bit, since we brought real cars here, don't you think? I like your thinking, son.
One, two, three, go! Oh, the Benz is fast! See ya! Whoo! Tanner, are you back there somewhere? Hey, Rut, how you doing on fuel back there? You know what? I'm actually getting pretty decent fuel mileage back here, but, yeah, I could use a fill up.
I'm getting great gas mileage.
Four-by-fouring, I'm telling you, is like hypermiling, basically.
No, it's not.
Okay, so you need fuel, too.
Yeah, I could stop.
How about this? Let's all get gas together, same time.
Nobody jumps ahead.
- Agreed.
- Agreed.
I don't trust these guys one bit.
Our first official gas stop.
We needed to be fast and efficient, like a NASCAR pit crew.
Tanner was taking the NASCAR idea a bit too far.
You thought I'd get you, didn't you? How much damage could you cause? That thing has no power.
Don't forget, we got to be fast.
We do need to go, right? We do need to go.
Just step it up a little here.
- Uh, hey, Tanner.
- Yes.
Is it me or is your front tire flat? That looks awfully low.
Wha When did that happen? Did you even feel it? Like, does it handle so poorly, you can't tell the difference of there's air in a tire or there's not air in a tire? Montero's such a capable vehicle.
- Clock's ticking.
We got to go.
- Yeah.
You gonna help me jack this thing up? - Uh, no.
- Come on.
- Oh, yeah.
No.
- Do you have a jack? 'Cause I don't actually have a jack.
- I don't have a jack.
- You have a jack with that thing.
- It comes with a jack.
- It won't even hit the bottom of the car.
All the way up, it wouldn't.
Hold tight.
I got a plan.
That sounds a lot like "I know a shortcut.
" I'm not a doctor, but that's a flat.
Yeah.
Ooh.
- Ooh, that sounds good.
- What's he doing? Okay.
Coming up, Adam has a risky idea.
We're gonna catch a train! Adam, you can't be serious.
Oh, he is serious.
Wait for me! What are you doing?! We were in New Jersey, almost halfway through our race from Maine to Georgia, driving the length of the Appalachian Trail in just 24 hours.
Adam had already taken a creative shortcut over a mountain, and Rut had managed to take a bathroom break while on the go.
It worked! Behind schedule, with a flat tire and no jack, I had been forced to think out of the box.
- What's he doing? - Okay.
That's good there.
That's good there.
Perfect! Perfect! But won't that that was a perfectly good Saab.
No.
It was a Saab.
This is why we don't have nice things.
Very true.
Do you have a tire iron? - Uh, no.
- Do you? I'm gonna get a tire iron.
What kind of person would see a car and think, "oh, I'll just drive on that"? I wonder why you guys think I'm the lunatic on this show.
Fair point.
That's Oh, man! This is a nice plaid here.
Stable as can be.
Yeah, but you're not.
One, two, three.
You're earning your allowance this week.
That's how you change a tire.
Can we get on the road now? Are you done? Yeah.
I'm done.
- Follow me.
- He's done.
Oh, yeah, let's follow you.
"Oh, we've got a shortcut.
" Follow you, what, over the Saab? Yeah, calling about the car for sale.
How much do you want? Well, Tanner's ready to go.
And as the sun went down, we contemplated the idea of driving through the night.
What was the name of that horror film that was based on some hikers going through the Appalachian Trail? Oh, "The Blair Witch Project.
" How scary was that? Yeah.
No, I'm asking.
I didn't see it.
I don't watch scary stuff.
I didn't see it either, but the thing, like, was a box-office hit and cost nothing to make, and it was, like, the most famous thing ever to happen at the Appalachian Trail.
That was shot in the Black Hills forest, you idiot.
Do you think that this is a good place to practice your sasquatch call? You know how loud you're gonna have to yell? Bigfoot's not here.
He's in the Pacific Northwest.
Hold on.
Let me clear my throat.
Yeah, it sounds like you just got a bikini wax.
It might have been the full moon, or driving over 12 hours straight, but as we made our way through Pennsylvania, we were getting a little loopy And very tired.
Adam, I know this is gonna sound crazy, but I can't drive through the night, man.
Whoa, whoa.
What's the matter? I'm gonna drive on the rumble strips for a minute.
Did you wake up? All right, come on, wake up.
Wake up! All right, boys, head out the windows on three.
Three, two, one.
That didn't work.
No, that didn't really work.
It was obvious if we didn't want to fall asleep at the wheel, we were gonna need a plan.
All right, fellas, look.
This is getting dangerous.
I got an idea.
Follow me.
Yeah, that seems less dangerous.
Just shut up and follow me.
We don't say "shut up" in this family.
What a nice childhood you had.
Clearly, we were desperate, 'cause we were following Adam, but how crazy could his idea be? Come on, fellas.
We're gonna catch a train! I don't think we can just catch a train, Adam.
Holy crap, it's moving! Adam, you're not really thinking about this, are you? Stay with me, boys! Here's our chance.
This is what I'm looking for.
Oh, this is crazy.
He's not serious.
Oh, he is serious.
Go, Rut, go, go, go, go, go! You're gonna miss it! Whoa! Come on, Tanner.
Wait for me! What are you doing?! Sure you don't need gas, Rut? Rut stops for a quickie.
Hey, fellas.
We were in Pennsylvania, over halfway to Georgia on our 24-hour Appalachian marathon.
But we were behind schedule and exhausted.
I can't drive through the night, man.
It looked like we'd be forced to drive all night.
But then Adam, for once I got an idea.
had a brilliant idea.
- Come on, fellas! - Adam, you can't be serious.
Go, Rut, go, go, go, go, go! Whoa! Come on, Tanner.
Come on.
Yeah! Come on, are you serious? Oh, you guys suck.
You guys suck.
That was awesome.
But from where I was sitting, it wasn't so awesome.
We're gonna make it, and we're gonna get to get some sleep, and we're gonna win.
I needed to get some sleep, too, so this was do or die.
Guys, guys, guys, guys! Hey, hey, hey, hey! Wait for me! What are you doing?! Oh, there's Tanner.
Guys! Guys! What is he doing? Hey! Hey, really, you're just gonna You're just leaving me here? Oh, you'll be fine.
You're a racecar driver, right? How do I get on the damn train? I don't have a brake! I can't hit a brake! Just rolled up my double-pane soundproof glass.
Guys! Can't even hear Tanner screaming.
Come on, really? Tanner, watch the train! See ya! Sucker.
Thank you.
I hope he knows a shortcut.
The heck with those guys.
I've driven long, grueling stretches before in my racing career.
But on a racetrack, the adrenaline is pumping, and you don't have time to get tired.
On the road, you've got nothing but time.
See, the problem is you start to visualize "Wow, it's kind of like I'm driving through a tunnel.
" Like, "oh, there's, like, "these drawings on the side of the tunnel.
"That's a building.
That's a green light on the top of the tunnel.
" Before you know it, you're dreaming about driving in a tunnel.
Meanwhile, Rut and I were having sweet dreams, secure in the knowledge of Tanner's long, sleepless night.
Or so we thought.
As morning came, and with only five hours left to reach the finish line, Adam and I de-boarded the train in Virginia, a state that takes an Appalachian hiker a month to cross.
I was practically home.
I'd like to just go on the record and say how much I enjoy the south.
The people down here, they're just They're just good people.
I will tell you this.
You're very polite people.
I consider you a southern gentleman.
I will tell you one good thing about new yorkers.
If they're angry with you, they're gonna tell you right to your face.
There's gonna be no mystery.
We're not gonna say, "well, he's a nice guy, bless his heart," which is southern code for "who brought this moron?" And speaking of morons Whoa! Look who's here.
How the hell did you catch up? Drove all night, my friend, and got amazing gas mileage, I might say.
He didn't drive all night.
You didn't drive all night.
Sure, I was on the road all night.
Belee that.
Okay, I don't "belee that.
" That's a Montero.
It's not a time machine.
Both of you got on a train.
Come on.
And if you had a decent car, you would have made the train, too.
That's true.
I was lucky enough to get some shut-eye.
But my Montero, on the other hand, wasn't quite as refreshed.
I'd pushed it too hard to catch up with these train-hopping idiots.
Oh, yeah, I'm running a little hot from that hill, so I'll cool down here.
What? The Montero's running a little hot, pushing all that weight up a hill? That's crazy.
You're kidding.
Why's it doing that? Could be it's underpowered.
What do you think? So far, Tanner had taken us down a dead end, missed the train, and now his overheating Montero is risking our entire mission.
Just pull over for a second here.
Oh, great.
This will just take a second.
Yeah, sure.
Fan's spinning.
Oh, that's hot.
Ooh, that smells good.
Yeah, yeah, it's a little warm.
It's just some of those last hills, I think, were a bit Smells like coolant.
I notice that there's some leakage up here, like maybe this radiator's had some problems in the past.
Think so? Yeah, it's got brown - What are you doing? - Look how hot the motor is.
Step away.
Step away.
- Come on, we got to go.
- Chocolate on the Oh! What is that? Oh, run, Rut.
Oh! What are you doing?! Welcome to Montero country! Are you guys ready? We're losing time, Tanner, with your shenanigans.
Yeah, and a taillight.
Moron.
Back on the road, we made some good time speeding through West Virginia, Tennessee, and North Carolina.
Finally, we hit Georgia, the last state on the Appalachian Trail.
Gentlemen, I think we might need one more fuel stop before the final push.
Yeah.
Hold on.
I got to make a phone call.
He's making phone calls now.
What do you mean, you got to make a phone call? He's probably calling for a pizza.
Pizza did sound good, but I was focused on beating these guys to the finish line, and I had one last trick up my sleeve.
Hey, guys, good news.
I know what gas station will be our last fuel-up.
Just follow me, all right? You copy that, Montero? On the caboose.
These guys have no idea what they're in for.
Gas station should be right up here.
Hey, Rut, is there a race in town? No, no race in town.
Why do you ask? I don't know.
There's a big truck right here.
Hey, Clint Bowyer's truck.
Sure you don't need gas, Rut? Oh, I need gas, all right.
Hey, fellas.
Oh, you slippery little We're in a mad race against time I am going for the win.
as we push to make it to the end of the trail.
Oh! We had made it to Georgia on our quest to conquer the Appalachian Trail in just 24 hours.
But we were cutting it close, with 100 miles to go and only 90 minutes to get there.
And with our cars on empty, we were forced to make one last stop.
From here on, it was every man for himself.
Sure you don't need gas, Rut? Oh, I need gas, all right.
Hey, fellas.
Hey, fellas.
Looking good.
He's getting outside help.
You think? Here! Oh, they're showing off.
I got it.
That's good.
At least I cheated on my own.
Really? You strapped the cables on your own car? Fair enough.
There we go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Whoo! Can you believe that? You know, he's cheating, but I like his style.
Good to have friends, I guess.
That's it.
- Seriously? - What? You're done? I'm done! After a splash and dash, Adam and I were in hot pursuit of the bearded one who was now a mile ahead of us, feeling rather pleased with himself.
Now, that's how you make a pit stop, right there.
Right? Oh, I bet those guys are mad right now.
And I am going for the win.
Can you believe that? Blatant cheating.
That son of a And so the race was on.
I needed to win this.
With under an hour to go to make the 24-hour deadline, it was time for me to take advantage of the Montero's strengths.
You know what? This has been fun on the road and everything.
Have a good time at 55 miles an hour.
See ya! Where are you going? To the finish.
Oh, you slippery little damn.
Now, this is a shortcut.
The quickest way between two points is a straight line, and I had the only machine that could do that.
That is a big bump, and I can't slow down.
Out on the open road, Adam, in the supercharged jag, had clawed his way back up to Rut.
- Hello, big girl! - Really? Where the hell did you come from? Oh, he's making the pass! No! See ya at the finish line.
Whoa! Holy crap.
As Tanner continued his charge cross-country to the finish, there was no way I was gonna let Adam win.
Oh, there we go.
Oh! Uphill pass! Yeah! I can't take my eyes off you for a minute.
Look who's got the lead now.
With less than a mile to go, this was my last chance to pass Rut.
I see what you're trying to do Keep me from coming around.
Want to get your big [bleep.]
out of my way? I was ahead of Adam, but had I beaten Tanner? Oh, man, I think this is it.
Come on, come on.
Oh, this is it! Yeah, I don't see Tanner.
I'm gonna win! Oh, that's it! That's it! Whoo! This guy.
- That - I win.
Well, what time is it? Oh, gosh.
It's 12:06.
Which means you lost.
Well, it means you lost.
I just lost less 'cause I got here sooner.
You're the first loser.
That's worse than being a second loser.
We're the only ones here, which means we win Right? As far as he knows, we do.
Then if you don't tell him that we both lost, then it's a tie.
- I'm in.
- Okay.
Where do you think he is? - Probably broken down.
- Yeah.
He might be already trying to sell it for parts, since I'm sure it blew up.
You're not serious.
No! Oh! Are you kidding me? I just [bleep.]
my pants.
You scared the big girl.
Oh, that was nice.
What time is it? You lost.
You guys made it in 24 hours? - Yeah.
- We were here.
I actually came on the trail.
Do you see that? See the trailhead right there? I was on the trail.
I did the Appalachian Trail.
You did some roads around it.
You didn't do the Appalachian Trail.
You drove through the woods.
Leave nothing but your footprints.
It says nothing about big, fat, knobby tread marks.
- Yeah.
- That's what you want the sign to say "No big, fat, knobby tread marks, Tanner Foust"? It should if they don't want you to drive a Montero on it.
Here you go.
That's for second place.
- Yeah.
You earned it.
- For your sweet tooth.
Thank you.
I'm kind of hungry, actually.
I think I need to change my tire.
You just park right there, okay? Don't move that.
Follow me.
I'm gonna find a hotel.
Nope, you're gonna not Don't do that.
Put the regular tire back on.
Don't do it.
Don't do it.
Don't you come near my jag.