Bewitched (1964) s05e11 Episode Script

There you are, Tabitha.
You look very pretty.
Now, sweetheart, do you remember what I told you? To thank Grandma Stephens for my birthday surprise.
- That's right.
- But it isn't really my birthday.
It's Grandma Stephens' early birthday surprise.
Now, what else did I tell you? Be real polite and don't fly.
- Yes.
Now, what else? - I forget.
We mustn't do any witchcraft.
That's very important.
No witchcraft is very important.
Do you know why these things are important? Well, you see, Grandma Stephens does not use witchcraft and she does not fly.
- Oh, she's sick? - Tabitha flying doesn't come naturally to most Well, you see, the difference between us and No.
No, she's not sick.
Is Grandpa Stephens coming to dinner too? No.
He had to fly to Cleveland on business.
I'm glad Grandpa Stephens could fly.
I mean, he took an airplane.
Oh, is he sick too? Tabitha, I realise these things are hard for you to understand but Grandma Stephens is downstairs right now so if you're real good, you can have two pieces of cake.
- Okay? - Okay, Mommy.
The dinner was delightful, Samantha, and so is the cake.
- Thank you, Mrs.
Stephens.
- I'm being good.
- Yes, you are, dear.
- I'm not flying or anything.
Of course you're not flying, Tabitha.
Anyway, I want to give Tabitha her birthday present a little in advance.
- I get two pieces of cake.
- Just a minute, dear.
Because the semester begins tomorrow.
- Semester? What semester? - The nursery school semester.
Surprise.
Grandma's paid Tabitha's tuition at nursery school.
Cake, please.
What a nice surprise.
But Samantha and I were just discussing nursery school, and And we We decided to wait until next year for kindergarten.
- We just don't think that she's ready.
- Cake, please.
Isn't ready? With her imagination and hidden talents waiting to bloom? - Please, cake.
- Just a moment, dear.
I know all the arguments, Darrin, but they point to overprotectiveness.
Our Tabitha is unique.
She is an exceptional child.
All these traits run in the Stephens' family.
But let's not deny her the companionship of other children.
No, never.
We mustn't do that.
I'm glad you agree.
She is a gifted child but we must never let her think she's different.
And now, dear, let Grandma Here's your second piece of cake.
How did that cake get over here? Mrs.
Stephens, a gifted child like Tabitha just calls upon her hidden talents.
It's good.
Yes, and nursery school is good too, dear.
You'll love it.
They play games, finger paint, model with clay sing songs Sam, how about measles? Thanks, sweetheart, but not this morning.
I mean as an excuse for my mother.
Tabitha couldn't go to nursery school if she had the measles.
Your mother's already on her way over.
And I told you, I had a little talk with Tabitha.
She knows how to behave.
- I hate to admit it, but I don't trust her.
- Darrin.
Nobody could trust me at that age, and I wasn't a witch.
Will you relax? Your mother wants to do some shopping, but somehow l'll get out of it so I can stay with Tabitha.
Great.
But what about tomorrow? Do me a favour.
One day at a time, please.
- Will you try and calm down? - Sam, you're not talking to a man you're talking to a nerve ending, and nerve endings can't calm down.
Have a little faith in me.
I'm a witch too.
I know.
I know.
And Tabitha Stephens will simply love Delightful Day Nursery School.
- Won't you, Tabitha? - Yes, Mrs.
Burch.
Tabitha, you're just a peach.
She's just a peach.
Oh, they're playing choo-choo before morning juice.
That's a no-no at Delightful Day.
- Hi, I'm Amy.
- I'm Tabitha.
- Gee, you're little.
- I'm not little.
You're big.
Hello.
I'm Ruth Taylor.
Does your little girl have any diseases? - Why, no.
- Good.
My Amy is very susceptible to everything.
Hello, Mrs.
Taylor.
Good morning, Amy.
- Hi.
- All right, children.
Let's say goodbye to our mothers and go on into the playroom.
Come along.
That's it, Tabitha.
Dear me.
Mrs.
Burch, where should I stay? - Stay? - Stay? We're going shopping, Samantha.
I decided I'd just sort of stay here at school, if you don't mind.
- Oh, I'd love to have you, dear.
- Thank you.
But unfortunately it's against the rules.
I understand.
It's difficult to see the little one fly from the nest.
I'm not supposed to fly.
Her vivid imagination comes from my side of the family.
- Shall we go, Samantha? - Oh, I can't possibly leave her now.
- Why not? - I haven't said goodbye yet.
Now, Tabitha, I'm afraid that Mommy's gonna have to leave for a while.
- Okay.
What some mothers don't realise is that I'm an expert in my field.
I have found, after 27 years, that no child is essentially different from any other child.
If you want a toy you ask Mrs.
Burch and then pick it up.
- No zapping, okay? - Okay, Mommy.
Yeah.
And another thing All right, dear.
There are so many ways you can say goodbye but the best one is, "Goodbye, Tabitha.
Goodbye, Mrs.
Burch.
" Now come along, Samantha.
A little shopping will calm your nerves.
Your mommy has made us all late for game time.
Come along, Tabitha.
All right, children, what do we do next? Tabitha? - Play games.
- And why do we play games? Amy.
- Because.
- No.
We play games to win.
- My cat eats flowers.
- Okay.
Amy, Tabitha, Mrs.
Burch is talking.
Did you hear what Mrs.
Burch said? "Uh-huh" will never do here.
It's "Yes" or "No, Mrs.
Burch.
" Yes or no, Mrs.
Burch.
We mind our tongues at Delightful Day Nursery School.
But I warn you, Tabitha, I've moulded all kinds.
All right, class, get your chairs, bring them in a circle and we'll play musical chairs.
- She talks mean.
Yeah.
And the blue here is a genuine copy of a Paris original.
- Oh, really? - Why don't you try it on, Samantha? We're dealing with a nervous mother.
Her little girl started nursery school today.
Oh, I understand, Mrs.
Stephens.
But there's no better tonic for nursery school jitters than a new dress.
- I'm not nervous.
Oh, go ahead, Samantha, try it on.
That is a good idea.
I'll try it on.
And this one, and this one, and this one, and this one.
Shopping may be just what I needed after all.
All right, Steven, sit down.
Now, class, you have before you the two best Musical Chairs players.
Soon, we will have just one best Musical Chairs player.
Remember, it is not bad to lose, but it's grand to win.
And the winner will receive this lollipop.
Which one of you is going to win? - Me.
- Me! All right, let's see.
Come on.
Hop up.
That's it.
All right, students.
Compete.
- Oh, hi.
- Why, Mrs.
Stephens.
All this time, I thought you were out shopping.
Oh, I am.
I mean, I was.
L I mean, I'm going.
I'm going right now.
- Bye.
- Goodbye.
Samantha, how do they look? Did you find anything you like? Samantha? - Well, that's strange.
- What's the matter? Nothing.
Not a thing.
- I didn't care for any of them.
- You didn't? No.
They're just not me.
- Could I try five more, please? - Five more? Better yet, make it 10.
All right, Mother Nature wants her little forest to form.
Sycamores, mushrooms.
Oh, very good, sycamores and mushrooms.
Tabitha, you be the bunny.
Robert, you're the butterfly.
- Amy, the toad.
- I wanna be the butterfly.
We don't argue with Mother Nature, Amy Catherine Taylor.
- You are the toad.
- But I wanna be the butterfly.
Anyone who spills her juice at snack time cannot be the butterfly.
If the forest will please excuse me, Mother Nature is wanted on the phone.
Mrs.
Burch speaking.
- Don't cry, Amy.
- But I wanna be the butterfly.
- But toads are nice.
- I wanna be the butterfly.
Okay.
Now you won't cry anymore, Amy.
All right, forest.
Let's take our places.
Amy? Where's our little toad? Get out of here.
Amy? Amy.
I know you're a good little hider, but come out.
- What is it, Tabitha? - Excuse me, Mrs.
Burch only there she goes.
I see the butterfly, Tabitha, but I'm looking for a child.
Amy.
Amy Catherine Taylor.
Amy, you come out from where you're hiding this instant.
Because you can't be a butterfly is no reason to hide.
You gonna try all these on? I'm a very thorough shopper.
Thank you.
Her daughter started nursery school today.
Yeah, you told me.
Amy, you are not, I repeat you are not allowed to vanish into thin air at Delightful Day Nursery School.
Amy, you're a good hider, but olly, olly, oxen free! - Tabitha.
- All right, now l've just had enough of this.
Amy, where are you? Tabitha, did something happen to Amy? - She was crying.
- Why? Mrs.
Burch wouldn't let her be a butterfly.
- And? - I let her be a butterfly.
Tabitha, you didn't! - You did.
- I hate people to cry, Mommy.
I know you thought you were doing a good thing but people don't understand our kind of help.
- Where's Amy now? - She's up in that tree.
- You sure? - That's where I saw her flew.
- Fly.
- No, she flew.
Okay.
Okay, flew.
But she's too far away for you to change her back.
I'll go get her.
Okay, Mommy.
Is this one of those things that's called a problem? Not exactly, sweetheart.
This is one of those things that's called a catastrophe.
Amy.
Amy.
I'm Tabitha's mommy.
You remember me? You saw me in the office earlier.
Amy, be a good girl and come to Samantha.
Excuse me, lady.
I'm not gonna ask you how you got up there.
I'm gonna ask you why you're up there.
Oh, I'm trying to catch my butterfly.
That's a straightforward answer.
Now I'm gonna ask you how you got up there.
I used to live in the woods.
I just love to climb trees.
And I suppose you hung around with Smokey the Bear too.
Really, it's very important that I catch my butterfly.
And the butterfly's name is Amy? Yes, Amy.
Amy the butterfly.
Cute.
Now, would you do me a favour, lady? - Will you get out of my tree? - Really, mister Amy's a very rare butterfly.
There might even be a reward for her capture.
A reward? For the butterfly? Amy the butterfly, come on down.
Come on.
Daddy loves you.
Come on.
- Come out of the tree.
Yes.
- There she goes.
You keep an eye on her.
I'll get my binoculars.
If she's on this planet, my binocu Something weird about that dame.
All right, Amy.
You come out, and you come out right this instant.
I've had enough of this wilful disobedience.
We run a tight ship here, and this is insubordination.
- And you'll be severely punished.
- Mrs.
Burch? - What is it, Tabitha? - Amy's up in the tree with my mommy.
Thank you, Tabitha.
I needed that bit of information.
Amy Catherine Taylor.
Oh, why, Mrs.
Taylor.
School won't be out for 20 minutes.
I came early, and it appears it's a good thing I did.
Well, we were playing forest, and Amy resented being a toad.
Mrs.
Burch? You're not telling me that Amy's up in the tree with your mother again? - No, ma'am.
She flew away.
- Thank you, Tabitha.
Mrs.
Taylor, come out into the office and I'll explain everything.
Oh, that's kind of weird, Harve.
A butterfly way up here? They got wings, don't they? You got anything to trade for a liverwurst on wheat? Get your hands out of there, you no-good Watch your language, Benny.
There's a lady present.
Oh, excuse me, ma'am.
Don't let me interrupt your lunch, gentlemen.
All right, Amy, you stay right there.
I think you've caused enough commotion for one day.
You be a good little butterfly.
There.
Aren't we having lovely weather? You still haven't answered my question.
You got anything to trade for liverwurst? Sure, sure.
I understand about playing forest.
I understand why you wanted to make my Amy a toad instead of a butterfly.
But the fact is that my child is still missing.
But I've never lost a child in all my years as a teacher.
- And you start by losing mine.
- Look, somehow I'll make it up to you.
I'm calling the police.
Tabitha.
Come here.
Hi, Mommy.
Is that Amy? Yes.
Now, we haven't got much time.
Where's Mrs.
Burch? She's in the other room getting yelled at by Amy's mom.
All right, sweetheart.
Now, come on, Amy.
You change her back to regular, okay? Okay, Mommy.
Hey, that was neat.
Amy, your mom's probably worried about you.
It can't be kidnapping, officer.
The lady is still here.
I'm telling you that my Amy! Mama, I was a butterfly.
I flew out the window and got into a tree and flew onto a tall building.
Then Tabitha's mommy caught me in a net.
Well, at least you haven't subverted her creativity.
Come along, Amy.
Samantha, I knew you'd be here.
Oh, hello, Mrs.
Burch.
I'm afraid Mrs.
Burch has had a rather trying day.
- Shall we leave? - I will say I'm a little confused myself.
- Here.
You left your coat in the shop.
- Yes, thank you.
I was in such a hurry.
Samantha, something's been bothering me.
- Really? - Yes.
How did you get out of that dress shop without my seeing you? Well, a determined, anxious mother can always find a way.
Come on.
Goodbye, Mrs.
Burch.
Samantha.
Honey? - Hi, sweetheart.
- Hi, darling.
- Sit down.
I'll fix you a drink.
- You mean I'll need one? No.
Well, how did it go today? Fine.
How did everything go with you? Come on, Sam.
Tell me about Tabitha's nursery school.
Oh, well, it's a small building, and it I don't care about the building.
What happened? Nothing.
Here's your drink.
- Nothing happened? - Well, next to nothing.
Sam, may we delve a little more deeply into what "next to nothing" means? Well, let me put it simply, sweetheart.
You don't have to worry about Tabitha in nursery school anymore.
- Why not? - The school's closing.
- Did I put enough ice in that? - Why is the school closing? Mrs.
Burch, Tabitha's teacher, she's taking a vacation.
After one day? She wants to avoid a nervous breakdown.
I have the growing suspicion you should make this into a double.
Sure, sweetheart.
Exactly what would make a teacher so nervous? Well, one of the children flew out the window.
You know how that can be.
No, I don't know how that can be, Sam.
Tell me how that can be.
Well she was accidentally turned into a butterfly.
Make it a triple.
But after she was turned into a butterfly it was simply a matter of getting Tabitha to change her back.
After I got her off the skyscraper.
Make it a quadruple, Sam.
And finish the story after I pass out.