Ed, Edd n Eddy (1999) s05e11 Episode Script

1
>> [ WHISTLING ] >>
Edd: BRBRBRBRB, YEAH!
>> All: GREETINGS,
FELLOW CLUCKERS!
>> Edd: THE HAPPY CLUCKERS
CLUB IS NOW CALLED TO ORDER.
[ ROOSTER CROWS
] [ HEART BEATS ]
>> Edd: EGG-CEPTIONAL
PROGRESS, JONNY.
>> Jonny: RIGHT ON!
WE'RE GONNA HAVE
US A FAMILY, BUDDY!
>> Edd: AND WHA
DO WE HAVE HERE?
>> Ed: [ LAUGHING
] >> I LIKE Y-YOU.
>> Edd: [ CHUCKLING ] >>
Sarah: MY BROTHER THE IDIOT.
>> Edd: WELL, I THOUGH
IT WAS RATHER HUMOROUS, ED.
>> Jimmy: TEACHER'S PET.
[ DOORBELL RINGS ]
>> Lee: [ LAUGHS ]
>> Marie: OH,
LOOK, A CROWD.
>> Lee: MUST BE
A GOOD PLACE TO EAT.
WHO'S UP FOR SOME EGGS?
>> Marie: I'll HAVE
MINE SUNNY SIDE UP.
>> May: OVER
EASY, PRETTY PLEASE.
>> All: [ SCREAMING ] >>
Edd: OH, LADIES, PERHAPS A.
QUIET PERUSAL OF THIS BOOK
SO YOU, TOO, CAN DISCOVER THE
WONDERS OF EGG
HATCHERY FOR YOURSELVES.
>> Lee: SWEET TALKING
WON'T GET YOU EVERYWHERE.
AAAH!
>> Marie: HEY, WHAT'S
YOUR GAME, MISTER?
>> Lee: YOUR KLUTZO BOYFRIEND
CLOBBERED MY FOOT, THAT'S WHAT!
>> Edd: LEE,
I DO APOLOGIZE.
IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
>> Marie: I BET.
COME ON, MAY, LET'S GE
LEE TO THE SCHOOL NURSE.
>> Edd: [ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY ]
SHALL WE CONTINUE TENDING TO OUR.
EGGS WITH A GENTLE
ORGANIC-COTTON-BUD MASSAGE?
>> Nazz: DUDE, DID YOU HEAR,
WHAT, LIKE WENT DOWN YESTERDAY?
>> Kevin: NO, WHAT?
>> Nazz: YOU'RE NOT GONNA
BELIEVE THIS, BUT DOUBLE D MADE.
LEE KANKER'S FOOT SWELL
UP LIKE A BEACH BALL.
>> Kevin: YEAH, RIGHT.
WHAT'D HE USE, THE
DEADLY ART OF ALGEBRA?
[ LAUGHS ] >>
Nazz: NO, SERIOUSLY.
I HEARD THEY HAD TO USE A WHOLE
REFRIGERATOR OF ICE JUST TO STOP
HER BIG TOE FROM BALLOONING.
>> Edd: [ HUMMING ]
>> Eddy: YOU SENT A KANKER.
PACKING?
BA HA!
WHAT'D YOU USE, THE
DEADLY ART OF ALLERGIES?
>> Ed: DO NO
TAUNT THE "D," EDDY.
I WAS THERE.
>> Edd: OH, PLEASE.
IT WAS AN ACCIDENT, HONESTLY.
I FEEL JUST AWFUL.
>> Rolf: HEAVENS, OH, GOOD
BOY, ROLF REQUIRES YOUR ASSISTANCE.
MIGHT YOU HAVE A
SPARE WRITING STICK?
ROLF'S HAS BEEN REDUCED TO
THAT OF THE SIZE OF A BABY'S BAZOO.
>> WHY, OF
COURSE I DO, ROLF.
[ RATTLING ]
>> Rolf: AH-HOO!
ROLF WOULD HAVE TAKEN A
SIMPLE "NO, NOT TODAY," YES?
>> Nazz: DUDE, IT'S ALWAYS
THE QUIET ONES, I SWEAR.
>> Sarah: DID YOU
SEE THE LOOK IN HIS EYES?
>> Jimmy: WE DIDN'
SEE ANYTHING, SARAH.
>> Edd: BUT I I >>
Jonny: HEAD FOR THE HILLS,
BUDDY!
DOUBLE D's CRACKED!
LOST IT, I TELL YOU!
>> Eddy: DOUBLE D, I
NEVER KNEW YOU HAD IT IN YOU.
YOU'RE AN ANIMAL.
POW! KABLOOEY!
BA-BOOM!
OH, WHERE YOU GOING?
>> Ed: DOUBLE D HAS FALLEN DOWN
THE DEEP, DARK CRACK BETWEEN THE.
COUCH PILLOWS OF LIFE, EDDY,
SLIPPING THROUGH THE FUZZ OF OUR
BELLY BUTTON EXISTENCE.
FORAGING
[ SILENCE ] >> Eddy:
WE'RE GONNA RULE THIS.
DUMP, ED.
[ BELL RINGS ] >> Rolf:
HOW CAN ONE WHO WEARS A.
SOCK ON HIS HEAD DO THIS?
I ASK YOU.
>> Kevin: DUDE,
YOU SHOULD FRAME THAT.
[ INDISTINCT WHISPERING ]
>> Jimmy: [ WHIMPERING ]
>> Eddy: GIVE ME THAT.
>> Edd: WHY
ARE YOU ALL LEAVING?
>> Eddy: YEAH,
WHY YOU LEAVING?
>> Edd: DIDN'T I SAY
THAT ALREADY, EDDY?
>> Eddy: HERE,
LET ME HELP YOU.
PRETTY GOOD SEAT, HUH?
>> Sarah:[ [ GROWLING ]
WHO THE HECK DO YOU THINK YOU.
ARE?
>> Jimmy:
NO, SARAH, DON'T.
YOU CAN'T.
HE'S WATCHING.
>> Ed: JUST ME.
>> Edd: WHY IS ED
SITTING WAY OVER THERE?
>> Eddy: WAY OVER
THERE YOU ARE SO RIGHT.
OOH, ROLF'S GOT GRAPES.
>> Edd: UM
>> Marie: THAT'S
MY PIE. I SAW IT FIRST.
>> Jonny: NO
WAY. WE SAW IT FIRST.
>> Marie: IN YOUR
DREAMS, WEIRDO.
>> Jonny: PLANK HAD FIRST DIBS
BEFORE YOU AND YOUR BAD VIBES.
SHOWED UP. >>
Marie: GIVE ME IT.
>> Jonny: NO!
>> Marie: GIVE ME IT!
>> Jonny: WHAT ARE
YOU, HARD OF HEARING?
>> Marie: LET GO, KID.
>> Jonny: IT'S PLANK'S!
>> Marie:
ASK ME IF I CARE.
>> Edd: [ CLEARS THROAT ]
PARDON MY INTRUSION, BUT SURELY.
A COMPROMISE IS NO
OUT OF THE QUESTION.
>> Jonny: HAVE
I STOPPED YET?
>> Eddy: WHO'S NEXT?
[ HUMMING "MEXICAN HA
DANCE" ] >> Kevin: OH, MAN.
>> Nazz: NOT COOL.
>> Jimmy: VICIOUSNESS,
THY NAME IS DOUBLE D.
>> Eddy: OLé!
>> Edd: PLEASE,
LET ME EXPLAIN.
>> Eddy: YEAH, LET HIM.
>> FLEE FOR YOUR LIVES!
[ SCREAMING ] >>
Edd: THERE'S BEEN A GREAT.
BREACH OF JUDGMENT.
>> Eddy: YEAH!
BREACH THE HECK
OUT OF THEM, DOUBLE D.
>> Edd: THINGS ARE
NOT AS THEY APPEAR.
>> Jimmy: WHA
DO YOU WANT WITH ME?
TAKE MY MONEY
[ COINS CLINKING ] MY COMB
MY MOISTURIZING LOTIONS.
TAKE IT! TAKE IT!
>> Edd: SARAH?
YOU CERTAINLY CAN'T BELIEVE
>> Ed: STAY AWAY!
STAY AWAY FROM MY
BABY SISTER, YOU MEANIE.
>> Edd: ED, MY DEAR
FRIEND, HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT?
>> Ed: WE ARE
FRIENDS NO MORE!
MY MOM SAYS I CAN'T BE CHUMS
WITH A FIGHTING FISTICUFFS LIKE
YOU.
[ SNIFFLES ] [ GULPS ]
[ BOTH SOBBING ] >>
Edd: THIS ENDS NOW!
>> Ed: AAH!
HOLY SMOLIES!
UNCLE! UNCLE!
AAH!
AAAH!
RUN AWAY!
>> Edd: COME
BACK HERE, YOU!
>> Kevin:
NOW'S OUR CHANCE.
>> Sarah: Jimmy,
GET OUT OF THERE!
>> Eddy: YEAH!
YOU BETTER RUN, 'CAUSE
DOUBLE D's GOT ALL YOUR.
NUMBERS AND YOUR ADDRESSES.
OH, YEAH!
I'M PUMPED, BABY!
MAYBE A LITTLE ROUGH ON ED, HUH?
HE IS OUR PAL, YOU KNOW.
RIGHT.
YOU KNOW BEST.
SO, HEY, I'M GONNA GO
MAKE NAZZ RUB MY FEET.
>> Edd: WHA
HAVE I BECOME?
ARE THESE INDEED THE
HANDS OF A LOWLY THUG?
[ CRASH ] ED?
IS THAT YOU?
HERE, LET ME HAVE YOUR HAND.
>> Jimmy: AAH!
LEAVE ME ALONE,
YOU GOONEY GORILLA.
YOU PUNKY PALOOKA.
YOU ROWDY ROUSER.
AAH!
[ SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ]
>> Edd: OH, WHAT'S THE USE?
NO ONE WILL EVER BELIEVE
I'M ANYTHING MORE THAN A
RAMBUNCTIOUS ROUGHNECK!
[ SOBBING ] >>
Jimmy: DOUBLE D!
[ SOBBING STOPS ] [
ELECTRICITY BUZZES ]
YOU'VE CROSS-POLLINATED A
ROSE WITH A BABY-BLUE GYM SOCK.
>> Jimmy: ONLY HANDS AS GENTLE
AS HUMMINGBIRDS' WINGS COULD.
HAVE SPLICED THE TWO TOGETHER.
I BELIEVE YOU, DOUBLE D.
>> Edd: YOU DO?
OH, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, JIMMY.
IF ONLY THE OTHERS HAD LISTENED
TO MY PLEAS OF INNOCENCE.
>> Jimmy: SOUNDS LIKE YOU
NEED A SHOULDER TO CRY ON, DOUBLE D.
BE RIGHT WITH YOU.
[ HUMMING ] GIVE ME
THE DIRT, AND DON'
SPARE ME THE DETAILS.
[ HUMMING ] >> Edd:
OH, JIMMY, I'M BLURRED,
BEWILDERED, BEFUDDLED AT THIS
THIS MELEE OF MISINTERPRETATION.
FIRST, WITH MY BOOK ACCIDENTLY
PLUNGING ON TOP OF LEE'S FOOT
A FORTUITOUS MISHAP,
I ASSURED THEM.
YET I SENSED THE
SEED OF DOUBT HERE.
THEN ROLF.
OH, DEAR FRIEND ROLF.
HE WAS IN NEED OF A NEW
PENCIL, HIS WORN, UNUSABLE.
I WAS ONLY TOO HAPPY
TO PROVIDE HIM WITH ONE.
WHY, OF COURSE I DO, ROLF.
>> Rolf: ROLF WOULD HAVE
TAKEN A SIMPLE "NO, NOT TODAY," YES?
>> Edd: ANOTHER REGRETTABLE
BLUNDER, AS WOULD BE THE NEXT.
>> Marie: THAT'S MY PIE.
I SAW IT FIRST.
>> Jonny: NO WAY.
WE SAW IT FIRST.
>> Edd: REMEMBERING MOTHER
HAD PACKED MY LUNCH WITH A SLICE OF.
HER HEAVENLY APPLE CRUMBLE
PIE, I THOUGHT THE BEST THING TO
COMPOSE THIS CONFLIC
WOULD BE TO SHARE IT.
TO NO AVAIL!
ONCE AGAIN, MY GOOD INTENTIONS
WERE COWED BY MY GAWKISH
DEMEANOR. >>
Ed: STAY AWAY!
>> Edd: THEN CAME
THE WORST BLOW OF ALL.
MY DEAREST FRIEND LOST HIS
HOPE AND TRUST BECAUSE OF MY
STUMBLINGS.
ENOUGH WAS ENOUGH.
I COULD SEE IT WAS UP TO ME TO
VINDICATE MYSELF, SO IN ORDER TO
DO THIS, I NEEDED TO REMOVE THE
CHAIR THAT SEPARATED OUR BELOVED
FRIENDSHIP.
>> Ed: AAH!
AAAH!
UNCLE! UNCLE!
>> Edd: CAN'T THEY SEE?
HOW AM I TO BLAME?
IT'S SO OBVIOUS.
IS IT ME?
BUT I'M A PACIFIST!
>> Jimmy: YOU'VE BEEN MARKED
WITH A SCARLET LETTER, DOUBLE D.
ALL YOU NEED IS SOMEONE TO
STRIP IT FROM YOU AND VALIDATE THA
SWEET AND GENTLE YOU.
FOLLOW ME, SILLY.
>> Edd: WAIT, JIMMY.
[ CANS RATTLE ]
>> Kevin: WEAK.
>> Jimmy: YOU
THINK YOU'RE SO TOUGH?
I CHALLENGE YOU
TO A BATTLE ROYALE.
ARE YOU AWARE OF THE
MARQUIS OF QUEENSBERRY RULES?
>> Edd:
EXPLICITLY I THINK.
I WILL MAKE YOU CONSUME
YOUR FOOLHARDY WORDS.
WE SHALL MEE
AT AT OH, DEAR.
>> Jimmy: THE PIT!
>> Edd:
THE YES, THE PIT.
3:00 P.M. YES.
>> Kevin: NO WAY!
>> Jimmy: END SCENE.
>> Kevin: DOUBLE D AND JIMMY
ARE DUKING IT OUT AT THE PIT, MAN.
PASS IT ON.
>> Nazz: OH, NO,
POOR JIMMY'S A GONER.
>> Ed: SO, LITTLE DOUBLE G,
SEEING AS MY OLD PAL DOUBLE D IS.
NOW A NASTY McDUSTER KNUCKLES,
YOU ARE GOING TO BE MY NEW.
FRIEND.
WHAT WOULD LIKE TO DO TODAY?
I, DOUBLE G, AM GENTLE, UNLIKE
THAT EVIL DOUBLE D YOU SPEAK OF.
SHALL WE TALK ABOU
FOSSILS AND DISH SOAP?
[ GASPS ] DOUBLE D
USED TO TALK ABOUT DISH
SOAP ALL THE TIME.
[ SOBBING ] [ ROLF
AND JONNY PANTING ]
>> Eddy: MOVE IT, SLOW COACHES,
OR I'll MAKE SURE YOU'RE NEXT IN.
THE PIT.
>> Jonny: YES,
SIR, MR. EDDY, SIR.
>> Ed: WHOA!
>> Eddy: OUT OF THE WAY.
MAKE ROOM.
BEST FRIEND OF THE SCHOOL
BRUISER COMING THROUGH.
SO MOVE, IF YOU KNOW
WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU.
>> Sarah: JIMMY,
ARE YOU CRAZY?
HE'S GONNA TURN
YOU INTO COLD CUTS.
>> Jimmy: SOMETIMES, A MAN'S
GOT TO DO WHAT A MAN'S GOT TO DO,
SARAH.
>> Eddy: SPARE
THE CLICHéS, TWERP.
DOUBLE D's GONNA MOP THE FLOOR
WITH THAT CURLY HEAD OF YOURS.
>> Edd: YOU STILL HAVE TIME TO
YIELD TO YOUR INEVITABLE FATE OF.
LOSING TO ME, JIMMY.
MAKE HASTE BEFORE
I CHANGE MY MIND.
>> Ed: AAH!
>> Rolf: JIMMY
BOY IS DONE FOR.
>> Jimmy: I'VE GOT YOUR KNUCKLE
SANDWICH WITH A SIDE OF BLACK.
EYE RIGHT HERE.
>> Sarah: POOR JIMMY.
>> Jonny: GIVE HIM
THE OLD ONE, TWO, JIMMY.
>> Ed: THIS
ISN'T HAPPENING.
>> Eddy: THAT'S MY BOY.
STAY ON HIM, SOCKHEAD!
>> Jonny: RUN, JIMMY! RUN!
>> Kevin: QUIT PRANCING
AROUND AND POUND HIM, JIMMY.
>> Eddy: WHAT'S THE MATTER,
JIMMY, YOUR CURL GOING LIMP ON.
YOU?
>> Jimmy: PARDON?
>> Eddy: WHOOPS!
AH HA HA HA!
THAT MUSTARD LOOKS GOOD ON YOU.
IT'S YELLOW, GET IT?
LIKE YOU. HA HA HA!
I GOT A MILLION OF THEM.
>> Crowd: [
Chanting ] JIMMY!
>> Jimmy: OKAY, READY?
>> Eddy: AH HA HA HA!
MY BAD.
AH HA HA HA HA!
>> Jimmy: STOP IT!
HOW CAN I CONCENTRATE WITH YOU?
>> Nazz: HEY,
THAT'S NOT FAIR.
UH, NEVER MIND.
>> Eddy: BOMB'S AWAY!
>> Jonny: I DON'T KNOW WHERE
HE'S GETTING ALL THOSE HOT DOGS.
FROM, PLANK.
>> Eddy: OH,
LOOK OUT, EVERYBODY.
JIMMY LOOKS LIKE
HE'S GONNA BLOW UP.
OH, WAIT, HE ALREADY DID WHEN WE
TURNED HIM INTO A SUMO WRESTLER.
REMEMBER?
AH HA HA HA!
>> Jimmy: I HOPE YOU'RE
WEARING A CUP, 'CAUSE YOU'RE CRèME.
BRûLéE, MISTER.
>> Eddy: YEAH, RIGHT.
>> Edd: NO, NO, NO.
HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN
OUR MISSION HERE?
>> Jimmy: LET ME GO!
>> Kevin: DOUBLE
DWEEB'S GONNA PANTS HIM.
>> Edd: STOP IT RIGHT NOW.
>> Eddy: WAY
TO GO, SOCKHEAD!
[ LAUGHING ] >> Sarah:
JIMMY, ARE YOU OKAY?
>> Jimmy: AAAAAAAH!
[ CHEERING ] >> Eddy:
DO SOMETHING, DOUBLE D.
YOU'RE THE TOUGH GUY.
>> Jimmy: WHAT HAPPENED?
>> Rolf: HOORAY!
NOW THE HEATHEN SOCK
TYRANT HAS CEASED!
[ CHEERING ] >>
Sarah: WAY TO GO, JIMMY.
>> Together: [ Chanting ]
JIMMY, JIMMY, HE'S OUR BOY.
HE'LL SEND YOU TO THE
TRASH LIKE A BROKEN TOY.
>> Kevin: NICE JACKET.
DORKS.
>> Eddy: WHA
THE HECK WAS THAT?
SO MUCH FOR BEING THE
TOUGHEST KID IN SCHOOL.
ALL THAT RESPECT.
ALL THAT REPUTATION, THA
SWEET NAUGAHYDE JACKET, GONE!
YOU OWE ME A JACKET.
>> Edd: I GUESS I'M NOT AS
BOORISH A BRUTE AS YOU'D HOPED.
FOR, EDDY.
>> Eddy: BAH!
>> Ed: DOUBLE D?
IS IT REALLY YOU?
>> Edd: OH, ED.
>> Ed: DOUBLE D!
>> Eddy: YEAH, DOUBLE D.
>> Together: EDDY.
>> May: AW, WE
MISSED THEIR SCRAP, MARIE.
>> Marie: YEAH, BUT WE GO
HERE JUST IN TIME TO KISS THE LOSER.
BETTER.
>> Edd: A LITTLE LATE
FOR AN ENTRANCE, ISN'T IT?
>> Lee: DOUBLE D
YOU SHOULD SEE THE
SHINER YOU LEFT ON MY FOOT.
CLUMSY OAFS ARE SO CUTE.
>> May: THEY SURE ARE.
>> Marie:
PUCKER UP, SWEETIE.
>> Edd: NO, PLEASE.
>> Eddy: HEY!
HE'S HAD ENOUGH ALREADY!
BEAT IT!
>> Ed: GOOD ONE, EDDY.
>> Eddy: VULTURES.
>> Edd: GOODNESS,
I'M TOUCHED, EDDY.
YOU STANDING UP TO A
CLICHé SHOW ENDING FOR ME.
LET ME TELL YOU, AFTER THE
KIND OF DAY I'VE HAD, A DOSE OF
CAMARADERIE REALLY
>> Eddy: YEAH, YEAH.
EAT AND SHUT UP.
>> Ed: AND
FOR YOUR ED, EDDY?
>> Edd: EDDY, I THOUGH
THAT WAS MY HOT DOG.
THANK YOU, EDDY.
>> Eddy: THERE,
IS EVERYBODY HAPPY?
GOOD.
JEEZ.