Glee s05e11 Episode Script
City of Angels
Here's what you missed on Glee.
The New Directions are headed to nationals in Los Angeles.
Sue gave Mr.
Schue an ultimatum.
If they don't win, the club is finished.
- William Michael Schuester! - He says he knows a championship team when he sees one.
- You guys are ready.
- Although last time I counted, they don't have enough members.
They better scare up three band members stat.
Finn led the Glee Club to victory last year, but now they don't have a leader.
And they also don't have Rachel or Kurt.
Or Santana.
Or Brittany.
Or Mercedes.
Or Rory, the Irish kid.
Where'd he go? They're also up against a performing arts school where they don't even take classes and they're all, like, acrobats and contortionists.
And that's what you missed on Glee.
- Hey, you wanted to see me? - Yeah.
Have a seat.
I just wanna let you know.
Even though I've kind of checked out of school since I'm not going to college, I'm totally committed to Glee Club, you know.
I've had Artie and Blaine drilling me, like, nonstop on the rights and lefts of the choreography and I've recruited three hot Cheerios to get us to 12- You don't have to prove yourself to me, Sam.
Finn transformed this club when he joined up.
He wasn't just the male lead.
He was the captain of the football team.
He was the coolest kid in school.
I mean, a real dude, you know? He was our secret weapon at those competitions.
Other schools might have had their version of a Rachel or a Kurt but no one had a Finn.
Yeah, he- He made it seem pretty cool.
And when he recruited you, he wasn't just looking for another voice in here.
He was looking for someone to take his place after he graduated.
Someone to help lead all of these wonderful misfits.
I'm not Finn, Mr.
Schue.
Finn was, like, a real leader, you know? And so are you.
I'm gonna need you to be that guy when we get to L.
A.
The kids want you to be that guy.
They're all waiting for you to see yourself the way they see you.
The new kids love you, and so do the older ones.
I'm sure that everything is gonna be fine once we get there.
But if the time comes and you need to step up I'm gonna be counting on you to get it done.
They're here.
- Hey! - Hey, guys.
We just wanted to come in and say that, uh Finn really cared about you guys, more than you know.
Finn always said that winning nationals was the greatest accomplishment of his life.
But I honestly believe that coaching you guys to winning - would have meant even more to him.
- Yeah.
Now we're not saying go out there and win it for Finn.
That wasn't his style.
Um-What Finn would have said was this is the time of your lives right now.
You're never gonna forget it and in a moment, it's all gonna be over.
So no sad faces.
No regrets.
Just go out there and have a blast and, you know, it'd be okay if you won the damn thing.
And the best part about it is that Burt and Carole have agreed to come with us as chaperones.
But I think before we go, we need a little mood music to send us off.
Brad? Brad? Yes, yes! We love it! We love it! Sorry, sir.
Can't release the rooms.
Don't look now, but I think someone famous just came in! Even better! It's Mercedes Jones! - I was hoping you'd make it! - Are you crazy? I wouldn't miss this for the world.
Ooh, I heard that you got a record contract because either Usher, Kelly Clarkson or Michael Jackson's daddy bought your album in a 7-Eleven parking lot.
I was selling my CD, Hell 2 the No, in a parking lot.
Now, I ain't gonna lie.
Business was whack.
But then this Mexican lady bought one.
I think she felt sorry for me.
Turns out, that Mexican angel on earth was the housekeeper to Kanye West.
She gave it to Kanye, who gave it to Kim and she gave it to Ryan Seacrest, who gave it to Sony Records- the Sony Records.
Next thing I know, I'm sipping Perrier with a bunch of rich dudes.
All right, I like this plan and I love that you guys like my songs.
So, yes, I'll write for the artists on your label.
But there is a catch, so listen up.
In exchange for six songs, I want my own album deal.
And I'm talking all the perks, all the P&A that you can muster and two music videos that you pay for.
And if it sells, I don't have to do a lame follow-up Christmas album.
Hold up.
- Is that dog alive? - Oh, it's a faux-huahua.
A fake Chihuahua.
- Mr.
Schue, Mercedes is here! - Oh, hey, Mercedes.
- Hi! - I'd like to speak to a manager, please.
- What seems to be the problem here? - Well, one hour ago I got a call from Detective Sue Sylvester with the L.
A.
P.
D saying that a 50-year-old Ohio man with a perm had abducted 12 emotionally disturbed teenagers and if he tried to make a reservation, I was to contact the F.
B.
I.
Oh, my God.
That's them.
- Who? - Do you seriously have no idea who that is? - Do none of you read the show choir blogs? - No, Blaine, we don't.
None of us read the show choir blogs.
Just you.
That's Throat Explosion.
And that's their leader, Jean-Baptiste.
Jean-Baptiste was born in Quebec to acrobatic parents.
He trained at Cirque du Soleil before emigrating to Fort Wayne where he used his French-Canadian circus stylings to turn the entire show choir world upside down.
Bonjour! You must be the New Directions.
And you must be Blaine.
How did you know my name? Show choir blogs.
I'm, you know-I'm Sam Evans, and I'm the leader of the New Directions.
And I know you guys are all really good and stuff but that's just gonna get us out of our comfort zones and send us over the top.
Well, it was really great to meet you, Sam.
Best of luck, New Directions.
We really can't wait to see your set.
And crush you like a bug.
Bye! Excuse me.
What is with the turtlenecks? - That was tense.
- Oh, how I miss the show choir high school drama.
Come on.
Tell me all about it.
Let's go.
Like a bug.
That was good.
He was right in my face.
Why didn't I think of that? He smells like a winner.
- Another golden day of sunshine here in Los Angeles.
- Hey, Marley, it's Ryder.
Can I come in for a minute? - Hi.
- Hi.
- Can I talk to you? - You can come in.
Okay.
Look, you and me are probably never gonna happen.
And, like, I'm slowly accepting that but that doesn't mean I don't care about you.
Or that I don't occasionally look at your Facebook page to check your status.
Single, and it's going to stay that way.
Talking about where you put what your job is.
It used to say "Singer-songwriter.
" Now it just says "Undecided.
" I entered my songs into this contest.
And you lost? Worse.
I didn't hear back at all.
And I took that as-I don't know- a wake-up call.
Oh, come on.
That's only one contest.
Actually, I've entered a bunch of contests, Ryder.
Anyway what's so wrong with joining Accounting Club when we get back? Uh- I'll tell you one thing.
I think, uh, Accounting Club interferes with Glee Club.
Now, hold on.
Are you planning on quitting Glee Club? I didn't want to let anyone down.
And since this is going to be my swan song, I just want it to be fun.
So, please, don't tell anyone.
Are you sure we should be doing this? - I mean, if we get caught- - Oh, just go! Trust me, when I was in the Warblers sneaking onto stage the night before a show was tradition.
We had other traditions, but I can't really speak about 'em.
We're not doing anything wrong.
We're just, you know getting a feel for the layout of the stage- our stage.
So should we sing a song or hold hands or say a prayer or something? Because if I'm being honest, these ghost lights kind of freak me out.
All right, everybody, circle up.
I have a surprise.
Finn Hudson made us a promise at the beginning of the year- that we were all going back to nationals together.
Even when we lost sectionals, which was totally not Marley's fault Finn told us that it wasn't over.
He said that we'd be right here, together.
Now, maybe you're thinking, "Finn isn't here.
" Well, he is.
I made sure of it.
Well, well! Les Directions Nouveau! Uh, apparently, we had the same plan for an illegal midnight rehearsal.
- "We"? You're alone.
- Am I? Existentially, yes, Blaine.
Perhaps we are all alone.
But tonight- Tonight, this stage belongs to us from midnight until dawn.
You see, I called in a few show choir favors.
So, we'll just give you three minutes to gather your feelings and leave.
Who is that? Your spirit guide? Dolph, enough.
Have some respect.
Look, everyone knows you're that show choir.
And everyone knows it's been a very rough year for you.
And now everyone is just waiting and watching you.
Tonight, you have our condolences, New Directions.
But let's just be very, very clear.
Tomorrow, you will not have our mercy, pity or restraint.
We are Throat Explosion.
Expect us! Seven, eight! - How'd you learn how to do that? - Have you met my son Kurt? I cannot believe this is our last competition.
I am not ready for this to end.
- Do not start crying again.
- I'm not gonna cry.
It's just that some of my best memories from Glee are these competitions.
Yeah, well, you know what? That's why guys love playing sports so much.
It's not so much about the winning and the losing.
It's about going to war with your buddies.
You know? The camaraderie.
That's right.
That's why you see a bunch of 50-year-old men humping around a softball field or playing flag football.
They're trying to re-create that feeling they're never gonna get back.
Oh, my God, yes! That's it.
Ugh.
It's so depressing.
I can't believe this is our last competition.
My life's gonna be so empty from now on.
At least you get to have one.
Oh, my God.
I can't believe I said that.
I am so sorry.
No.
It's okay.
I'm sorry.
That was totally insensitive of me.
- Tina always does this.
- No, no, no.
It's fine, honey, really.
You didn't do anything wrong.
You know what, guys? Why don't you go? You go, uh- You go practice or something and I'll have Carole finish up the sewing and I'll drop the dress by your room, okay? Relax.
Don't eat anything from the minibar.
It's expensive.
If you want something, go down to the 7-Eleven.
You okay? I don't think I can do this.
I really wanted to.
But being around all his friends just- I thought it would make me feel close to him, but- I know this is awful to say, but every time that they laugh or smile or skip away I just feel like my insides are being ripped out.
Well, we don't have to stay.
Schuester can handle things on his own.
Tina's right though, you know? When those kids leave McKinley it'll be like the last of him leaving too.
Yeah.
It will really be over.
I spend the days pretending that it's not real.
But being around all of them- I can't pretend.
Is that a bad thing? Whatever you need.
We can get a room at the Montage.
Drive down to Laguna Beach.
- I know how much you loved that show when it was on.
- I did.
- Or we can fly home.
Whatever you want.
- Okay.
Dude, come on.
- Get dressed.
We got to be down there in I just don't feel like losing nationals because of you.
You barely even waited until the body was cold before you moved in on Marley.
Not cool.
I screwed up.
I get that.
But you didn't give me a chance to apologize to her.
Try and work things out.
- I thought we were friends.
- We were.
I mean, we are.
At least we should be.
All right, don't cry.
I'm going.
I'm going.
Listen, man, I'm not supposed to say anything, but, uh - Marley's quitting Glee Club when we get back.
- Why? She sent her songs into some stupid contest and never heard back so now she thinks it's the universe trying to tell her to give it all up.
That's crazy.
She sent me a few of her songs though, and they're awesome.
I was thinking, if we could find someone out here in L.
A.
, you know, someone- someone real who could tell her they're good.
Sure, I got CeeLo on speed dial.
No.
I know we don't know anybody famous but we do know someone almost famous.
- What's wrong? - Finn's plaque, it's missing.
- Don't panic.
I'm sure it's here somewhere.
- It's not in here.
I put it right here.
It's gone.
- Give it back! - Give what back? Your talent? Because you obviously left that in Ohio.
All right, just give us the plaque back.
Gentlemen, let's get serious.
You've got zero chance of winning.
You lost your sectionals.
So you're only here on a technicality.
And everyone knows all your decent singers graduated.
And a little piece of wood with a picture of a guy on it - isn't gonna change- - You're a tool, man! Come on! - Okay! Break a leg.
- Sam, just-just let it go.
They're just trying to psych us out.
They're being idiots.
We got to get our game faces on and win this thing.
Okay? Okay, guys, look.
The plaque doesn't matter.
You know why? Because I believe with all my heart that Finn is here.
He's right here with us, right now.
And he's holding all our hands, and he's telling us, "The show must go all over the place.
" When we're up there on stage, he's gonna be sitting right next to Mr.
Schue cheering us on.
And when we win our second nationals trophy, he's gonna be cheering us on even louder.
All right? So let's do this! Let's go! Yeah! Let's go! All right, let's do this.
A reminder from the City of Angels! The 405 Freeway is closed for repairs this month.
Also, the subway isn't working, and bus service has been canceled due to snipers.
- Also, if you try to walk, people will look at you weird.
- Hi, guys.
Also, watch out for terrorists.
And now let's meet our judges! Please welcome living legend and Academy Award winner, Miss Marlee Matlin! Give a warm hand for entertainment icon and Emmy Award winner, Jackée! But you all can just call me Jackée.
A round of applause for the inventor of the fitness craze that's sweeping the nation- Prancercise- Joanna Rohrback! And now from Oklahoma City, the Amazonians! Okay.
A Belinda Carlisle triple medley is impressive.
But it's not that great.
We're still safe.
And now, from Fort Wayne, Indiana, please welcome Throat Explosion! Ladies and gentlemen, please take your seats.
Three minutes until showtime.
- I don't like protein shakes.
- Okay.
- No.
I don't-I'm okay.
- They aren't here.
Well, if they were coming, they'd be here by now.
I can't believe I said all that stuff in front of her.
Oh, it's cool, Tina.
You can't help it.
They're with us in spirit.
Just like Finn.
Let's bring it in.
Okay.
We're not like the other teams here.
We don't have the big budget or the- the giant pool of students to choose from.
We're also different from these teams because we didn't come here to win.
We came here to sing and dance our hearts out.
Oh, that's horse poop, Schuester.
We were halfway down to Laguna before Burt convinced me to turn around.
- I never said a word.
- Oh, you didn't have to.
None of you did.
I could hear Finn's voice in my head.
"This is nationals, Mom.
I coached those kids.
You leave them and you're leaving me.
" You guys are his legacy.
Which means I don't want to hear any garbage about doing your best or giving it the old college try.
- Go out there and wipe the floor with the other teams! - Wipe it! Yes! You guys are the reigning national champions.
Get out there and show 'em how it's done.
- All right.
- Perfectly said.
- Hands in, everyone.
- All right.
Amazing! And now, raise the roof for last year's national champions from Lima, Ohio, the New Directions! This was Finn's favorite song.
They're singing all of his favorite songs.
That was incredible! Oh, my God.
Wait-Uh, wait.
Uh, where's Sam? Hey.
You okay? I did my best, Mr.
Schue.
Hey, you did great.
I did my best.
- Three minutes.
- Sorry? The next time one of your songs gets rejected you can throw yourself a pity party for exactly three minutes.
And then you need to haul your ass up and start writing another one.
'Cause your songs are really good.
And I don't care that a bunch of yahoos rejected them.
They're stupid and they're wrong, and they're gonna be sorry someday.
I know about rejection.
I lost almost every single solo to Rachel Berry in high school.
I got dumped by my first record label.
I even got dumped by Sam Evans.
No, wait.
I dumped him.
Twice.
- You know, you're loaded to the gills with talent.
- Aw.
And someday soon, I'm gonna be hitting you up for songs.
Thank you.
How'd you get them? Couple of birdies.
You know, those guys, they really care about you.
- That don't mean you should date 'em.
- Mmm.
Don't ever give up on your dreams, Marley Rose.
You're too good.
Oh.
And in fourth place, from Lake Tahoe, Vicious Harmony! And third place goes to our bronze beauties, the Amazonians! Are you all right, Mr.
Schue? You never looked this nervous before.
Uh, yeah.
Just, uh-Just a lot riding on it this time.
And now, the pivotal moment is here.
For there can only be one champion show choir per nation.
Second place goes to- - Do it! - Yeah! New Directions! Which means the winner of the National Show Choir Championship is Throat Explosion! So Jean-Baptiste mailed it here? Yeah, he said that when he found out one of the people on his team stole it, he was furious.
And then he apologized and said that he made sure that the thief was kicked off the team.
Hmm.
A bully with a moral code.
All right, guys.
Time to put our new trophy in the case.
I've always found that second place trophies are just a lasting reminder that you didn't win.
Hey, there were 16 teams in that competition.
We beat 14 of the best show choirs in the country.
I'm sorry we let him down.
Let who down? Finn? We just really wanted to win this one for him, and for you.
We had a plan that we were gonna call you up on stage and give you the trophy to keep.
It's not right.
This is not how the story was supposed to end.
You're right.
Oh, it would have burned Finn to have lost to those guys.
All we would have heard for months was how the judges had robbed you or how you were so much better than them.
But then he would have stood up, and he would have told you that even though most of you had never been in a show choir before this year you still stood tall against the best of the best.
And you know what? Even though Finn didn't have the best voice or the best rhythm or the best throwing arm, he always brought out the best in himself and in others, and the great thing about him is he always managed to find a way to feel like he'd won.
I was really proud of you guys up there.
Hearing those songs was so healing for me.
And, I don't know.
I saw how much he meant to you.
So, win or lose, Finn lives in you guys.
Okay, guys.
Let's put this trophy where it belongs.
A second place showing is superior to when Finn decided to make out with Rachel on stage, and we ended up in 12th.
Principal Sue wants to see you, Schuester.
Dead man walking.
Well, Roz, I got to admit, I didn't think you had it in ya.
Between the toxic fumes from your excessive beauty products and all those MoonPies I see you shame-eating in the bathroom stalls when you don't think anyone's looking I didn't think there was room for the kind of fire and creativity it took to uphold the Cheerios honor and bring home another national championship.
I'm sure it gives you great disappointment to know you weren't the only reason the Cheerios won all of those years.
Come back when you've won 16 more and had a child with a celebrity crooner.
Then you can talk trash, Roz.
- Until then, as principal- - Are they almost done? She'll get to you when she gets to you, loser.
Uh-Second place is not losing.
It's like winning a silver medal in the Olympics.
Sure, if there was an Olympic event in being totally gay! Whoa.
Just like my date with John Salley.
Well, bye, all.
If you need me over the summer, you can reach me at my beach cottage in Saint-Tropez.
But there ain't no phones.
I bet you're hoping for a last-minute reprieve and then I'll say something about how your plucky band of pinhead minstrels overcame so much to get where they did and how second place is actually an achievement.
I-I-I-I can't say I wasn't secretly hoping you would consider it.
Well, I have considered it.
More than you know.
But I just can't.
In the words of ex-principal Figgins "my hands are tied.
" I'm the principal now, William and my job is concerned with the health of the entire school not just the fiefdoms that I like.
And I do like you, William.
That's why I'm so mean to you.
That being said, the Cheerios stay because they won.
So does the debate team, the football team, the girls soccer team and Mock U.
N.
However, diving, Academic Decathlon actual decathlon and, yes, the Glee Club need to go.
Should I fight? Sh-Should I make a speech about the arts or- or how much this club means to me personally? Save that for your wife.
It would probably turn her on.
That won't make any difference here.
So this is really it.
- What's gonna happen to the choir room? - Well, it's prime real estate.
They'll probably turn it into two classrooms.
And since we won't be needing the band anymore to play everything from obscure Broadway to Queen at a moment's notice probably sell off their equipment and buy some computers.
Butt-chin up, Schuester.
Look where you were four years ago when you started this thing.
You've got a national championship trophy from last year in that case and a bunch of other loser trophies standing with it.
You and your team have done phenomenally well and you did it with the world's greatest nemesis playing her best game against you.
You didn't lose, William.
Game's just over.
- Oh, my God.
- Now what? Your band booked a huge gig playing a show at the Union Square subway station? Why do you want to know? So you can steal his dream too? - Exactly.
- It's Glee Club.
They've been disbanded.
They didn't win at nationals.
They're turning the choir room into a computer lab.
And Sue isn't backing down this time.
It's over.
The New Directions are headed to nationals in Los Angeles.
Sue gave Mr.
Schue an ultimatum.
If they don't win, the club is finished.
- William Michael Schuester! - He says he knows a championship team when he sees one.
- You guys are ready.
- Although last time I counted, they don't have enough members.
They better scare up three band members stat.
Finn led the Glee Club to victory last year, but now they don't have a leader.
And they also don't have Rachel or Kurt.
Or Santana.
Or Brittany.
Or Mercedes.
Or Rory, the Irish kid.
Where'd he go? They're also up against a performing arts school where they don't even take classes and they're all, like, acrobats and contortionists.
And that's what you missed on Glee.
- Hey, you wanted to see me? - Yeah.
Have a seat.
I just wanna let you know.
Even though I've kind of checked out of school since I'm not going to college, I'm totally committed to Glee Club, you know.
I've had Artie and Blaine drilling me, like, nonstop on the rights and lefts of the choreography and I've recruited three hot Cheerios to get us to 12- You don't have to prove yourself to me, Sam.
Finn transformed this club when he joined up.
He wasn't just the male lead.
He was the captain of the football team.
He was the coolest kid in school.
I mean, a real dude, you know? He was our secret weapon at those competitions.
Other schools might have had their version of a Rachel or a Kurt but no one had a Finn.
Yeah, he- He made it seem pretty cool.
And when he recruited you, he wasn't just looking for another voice in here.
He was looking for someone to take his place after he graduated.
Someone to help lead all of these wonderful misfits.
I'm not Finn, Mr.
Schue.
Finn was, like, a real leader, you know? And so are you.
I'm gonna need you to be that guy when we get to L.
A.
The kids want you to be that guy.
They're all waiting for you to see yourself the way they see you.
The new kids love you, and so do the older ones.
I'm sure that everything is gonna be fine once we get there.
But if the time comes and you need to step up I'm gonna be counting on you to get it done.
They're here.
- Hey! - Hey, guys.
We just wanted to come in and say that, uh Finn really cared about you guys, more than you know.
Finn always said that winning nationals was the greatest accomplishment of his life.
But I honestly believe that coaching you guys to winning - would have meant even more to him.
- Yeah.
Now we're not saying go out there and win it for Finn.
That wasn't his style.
Um-What Finn would have said was this is the time of your lives right now.
You're never gonna forget it and in a moment, it's all gonna be over.
So no sad faces.
No regrets.
Just go out there and have a blast and, you know, it'd be okay if you won the damn thing.
And the best part about it is that Burt and Carole have agreed to come with us as chaperones.
But I think before we go, we need a little mood music to send us off.
Brad? Brad? Yes, yes! We love it! We love it! Sorry, sir.
Can't release the rooms.
Don't look now, but I think someone famous just came in! Even better! It's Mercedes Jones! - I was hoping you'd make it! - Are you crazy? I wouldn't miss this for the world.
Ooh, I heard that you got a record contract because either Usher, Kelly Clarkson or Michael Jackson's daddy bought your album in a 7-Eleven parking lot.
I was selling my CD, Hell 2 the No, in a parking lot.
Now, I ain't gonna lie.
Business was whack.
But then this Mexican lady bought one.
I think she felt sorry for me.
Turns out, that Mexican angel on earth was the housekeeper to Kanye West.
She gave it to Kanye, who gave it to Kim and she gave it to Ryan Seacrest, who gave it to Sony Records- the Sony Records.
Next thing I know, I'm sipping Perrier with a bunch of rich dudes.
All right, I like this plan and I love that you guys like my songs.
So, yes, I'll write for the artists on your label.
But there is a catch, so listen up.
In exchange for six songs, I want my own album deal.
And I'm talking all the perks, all the P&A that you can muster and two music videos that you pay for.
And if it sells, I don't have to do a lame follow-up Christmas album.
Hold up.
- Is that dog alive? - Oh, it's a faux-huahua.
A fake Chihuahua.
- Mr.
Schue, Mercedes is here! - Oh, hey, Mercedes.
- Hi! - I'd like to speak to a manager, please.
- What seems to be the problem here? - Well, one hour ago I got a call from Detective Sue Sylvester with the L.
A.
P.
D saying that a 50-year-old Ohio man with a perm had abducted 12 emotionally disturbed teenagers and if he tried to make a reservation, I was to contact the F.
B.
I.
Oh, my God.
That's them.
- Who? - Do you seriously have no idea who that is? - Do none of you read the show choir blogs? - No, Blaine, we don't.
None of us read the show choir blogs.
Just you.
That's Throat Explosion.
And that's their leader, Jean-Baptiste.
Jean-Baptiste was born in Quebec to acrobatic parents.
He trained at Cirque du Soleil before emigrating to Fort Wayne where he used his French-Canadian circus stylings to turn the entire show choir world upside down.
Bonjour! You must be the New Directions.
And you must be Blaine.
How did you know my name? Show choir blogs.
I'm, you know-I'm Sam Evans, and I'm the leader of the New Directions.
And I know you guys are all really good and stuff but that's just gonna get us out of our comfort zones and send us over the top.
Well, it was really great to meet you, Sam.
Best of luck, New Directions.
We really can't wait to see your set.
And crush you like a bug.
Bye! Excuse me.
What is with the turtlenecks? - That was tense.
- Oh, how I miss the show choir high school drama.
Come on.
Tell me all about it.
Let's go.
Like a bug.
That was good.
He was right in my face.
Why didn't I think of that? He smells like a winner.
- Another golden day of sunshine here in Los Angeles.
- Hey, Marley, it's Ryder.
Can I come in for a minute? - Hi.
- Hi.
- Can I talk to you? - You can come in.
Okay.
Look, you and me are probably never gonna happen.
And, like, I'm slowly accepting that but that doesn't mean I don't care about you.
Or that I don't occasionally look at your Facebook page to check your status.
Single, and it's going to stay that way.
Talking about where you put what your job is.
It used to say "Singer-songwriter.
" Now it just says "Undecided.
" I entered my songs into this contest.
And you lost? Worse.
I didn't hear back at all.
And I took that as-I don't know- a wake-up call.
Oh, come on.
That's only one contest.
Actually, I've entered a bunch of contests, Ryder.
Anyway what's so wrong with joining Accounting Club when we get back? Uh- I'll tell you one thing.
I think, uh, Accounting Club interferes with Glee Club.
Now, hold on.
Are you planning on quitting Glee Club? I didn't want to let anyone down.
And since this is going to be my swan song, I just want it to be fun.
So, please, don't tell anyone.
Are you sure we should be doing this? - I mean, if we get caught- - Oh, just go! Trust me, when I was in the Warblers sneaking onto stage the night before a show was tradition.
We had other traditions, but I can't really speak about 'em.
We're not doing anything wrong.
We're just, you know getting a feel for the layout of the stage- our stage.
So should we sing a song or hold hands or say a prayer or something? Because if I'm being honest, these ghost lights kind of freak me out.
All right, everybody, circle up.
I have a surprise.
Finn Hudson made us a promise at the beginning of the year- that we were all going back to nationals together.
Even when we lost sectionals, which was totally not Marley's fault Finn told us that it wasn't over.
He said that we'd be right here, together.
Now, maybe you're thinking, "Finn isn't here.
" Well, he is.
I made sure of it.
Well, well! Les Directions Nouveau! Uh, apparently, we had the same plan for an illegal midnight rehearsal.
- "We"? You're alone.
- Am I? Existentially, yes, Blaine.
Perhaps we are all alone.
But tonight- Tonight, this stage belongs to us from midnight until dawn.
You see, I called in a few show choir favors.
So, we'll just give you three minutes to gather your feelings and leave.
Who is that? Your spirit guide? Dolph, enough.
Have some respect.
Look, everyone knows you're that show choir.
And everyone knows it's been a very rough year for you.
And now everyone is just waiting and watching you.
Tonight, you have our condolences, New Directions.
But let's just be very, very clear.
Tomorrow, you will not have our mercy, pity or restraint.
We are Throat Explosion.
Expect us! Seven, eight! - How'd you learn how to do that? - Have you met my son Kurt? I cannot believe this is our last competition.
I am not ready for this to end.
- Do not start crying again.
- I'm not gonna cry.
It's just that some of my best memories from Glee are these competitions.
Yeah, well, you know what? That's why guys love playing sports so much.
It's not so much about the winning and the losing.
It's about going to war with your buddies.
You know? The camaraderie.
That's right.
That's why you see a bunch of 50-year-old men humping around a softball field or playing flag football.
They're trying to re-create that feeling they're never gonna get back.
Oh, my God, yes! That's it.
Ugh.
It's so depressing.
I can't believe this is our last competition.
My life's gonna be so empty from now on.
At least you get to have one.
Oh, my God.
I can't believe I said that.
I am so sorry.
No.
It's okay.
I'm sorry.
That was totally insensitive of me.
- Tina always does this.
- No, no, no.
It's fine, honey, really.
You didn't do anything wrong.
You know what, guys? Why don't you go? You go, uh- You go practice or something and I'll have Carole finish up the sewing and I'll drop the dress by your room, okay? Relax.
Don't eat anything from the minibar.
It's expensive.
If you want something, go down to the 7-Eleven.
You okay? I don't think I can do this.
I really wanted to.
But being around all his friends just- I thought it would make me feel close to him, but- I know this is awful to say, but every time that they laugh or smile or skip away I just feel like my insides are being ripped out.
Well, we don't have to stay.
Schuester can handle things on his own.
Tina's right though, you know? When those kids leave McKinley it'll be like the last of him leaving too.
Yeah.
It will really be over.
I spend the days pretending that it's not real.
But being around all of them- I can't pretend.
Is that a bad thing? Whatever you need.
We can get a room at the Montage.
Drive down to Laguna Beach.
- I know how much you loved that show when it was on.
- I did.
- Or we can fly home.
Whatever you want.
- Okay.
Dude, come on.
- Get dressed.
We got to be down there in I just don't feel like losing nationals because of you.
You barely even waited until the body was cold before you moved in on Marley.
Not cool.
I screwed up.
I get that.
But you didn't give me a chance to apologize to her.
Try and work things out.
- I thought we were friends.
- We were.
I mean, we are.
At least we should be.
All right, don't cry.
I'm going.
I'm going.
Listen, man, I'm not supposed to say anything, but, uh - Marley's quitting Glee Club when we get back.
- Why? She sent her songs into some stupid contest and never heard back so now she thinks it's the universe trying to tell her to give it all up.
That's crazy.
She sent me a few of her songs though, and they're awesome.
I was thinking, if we could find someone out here in L.
A.
, you know, someone- someone real who could tell her they're good.
Sure, I got CeeLo on speed dial.
No.
I know we don't know anybody famous but we do know someone almost famous.
- What's wrong? - Finn's plaque, it's missing.
- Don't panic.
I'm sure it's here somewhere.
- It's not in here.
I put it right here.
It's gone.
- Give it back! - Give what back? Your talent? Because you obviously left that in Ohio.
All right, just give us the plaque back.
Gentlemen, let's get serious.
You've got zero chance of winning.
You lost your sectionals.
So you're only here on a technicality.
And everyone knows all your decent singers graduated.
And a little piece of wood with a picture of a guy on it - isn't gonna change- - You're a tool, man! Come on! - Okay! Break a leg.
- Sam, just-just let it go.
They're just trying to psych us out.
They're being idiots.
We got to get our game faces on and win this thing.
Okay? Okay, guys, look.
The plaque doesn't matter.
You know why? Because I believe with all my heart that Finn is here.
He's right here with us, right now.
And he's holding all our hands, and he's telling us, "The show must go all over the place.
" When we're up there on stage, he's gonna be sitting right next to Mr.
Schue cheering us on.
And when we win our second nationals trophy, he's gonna be cheering us on even louder.
All right? So let's do this! Let's go! Yeah! Let's go! All right, let's do this.
A reminder from the City of Angels! The 405 Freeway is closed for repairs this month.
Also, the subway isn't working, and bus service has been canceled due to snipers.
- Also, if you try to walk, people will look at you weird.
- Hi, guys.
Also, watch out for terrorists.
And now let's meet our judges! Please welcome living legend and Academy Award winner, Miss Marlee Matlin! Give a warm hand for entertainment icon and Emmy Award winner, Jackée! But you all can just call me Jackée.
A round of applause for the inventor of the fitness craze that's sweeping the nation- Prancercise- Joanna Rohrback! And now from Oklahoma City, the Amazonians! Okay.
A Belinda Carlisle triple medley is impressive.
But it's not that great.
We're still safe.
And now, from Fort Wayne, Indiana, please welcome Throat Explosion! Ladies and gentlemen, please take your seats.
Three minutes until showtime.
- I don't like protein shakes.
- Okay.
- No.
I don't-I'm okay.
- They aren't here.
Well, if they were coming, they'd be here by now.
I can't believe I said all that stuff in front of her.
Oh, it's cool, Tina.
You can't help it.
They're with us in spirit.
Just like Finn.
Let's bring it in.
Okay.
We're not like the other teams here.
We don't have the big budget or the- the giant pool of students to choose from.
We're also different from these teams because we didn't come here to win.
We came here to sing and dance our hearts out.
Oh, that's horse poop, Schuester.
We were halfway down to Laguna before Burt convinced me to turn around.
- I never said a word.
- Oh, you didn't have to.
None of you did.
I could hear Finn's voice in my head.
"This is nationals, Mom.
I coached those kids.
You leave them and you're leaving me.
" You guys are his legacy.
Which means I don't want to hear any garbage about doing your best or giving it the old college try.
- Go out there and wipe the floor with the other teams! - Wipe it! Yes! You guys are the reigning national champions.
Get out there and show 'em how it's done.
- All right.
- Perfectly said.
- Hands in, everyone.
- All right.
Amazing! And now, raise the roof for last year's national champions from Lima, Ohio, the New Directions! This was Finn's favorite song.
They're singing all of his favorite songs.
That was incredible! Oh, my God.
Wait-Uh, wait.
Uh, where's Sam? Hey.
You okay? I did my best, Mr.
Schue.
Hey, you did great.
I did my best.
- Three minutes.
- Sorry? The next time one of your songs gets rejected you can throw yourself a pity party for exactly three minutes.
And then you need to haul your ass up and start writing another one.
'Cause your songs are really good.
And I don't care that a bunch of yahoos rejected them.
They're stupid and they're wrong, and they're gonna be sorry someday.
I know about rejection.
I lost almost every single solo to Rachel Berry in high school.
I got dumped by my first record label.
I even got dumped by Sam Evans.
No, wait.
I dumped him.
Twice.
- You know, you're loaded to the gills with talent.
- Aw.
And someday soon, I'm gonna be hitting you up for songs.
Thank you.
How'd you get them? Couple of birdies.
You know, those guys, they really care about you.
- That don't mean you should date 'em.
- Mmm.
Don't ever give up on your dreams, Marley Rose.
You're too good.
Oh.
And in fourth place, from Lake Tahoe, Vicious Harmony! And third place goes to our bronze beauties, the Amazonians! Are you all right, Mr.
Schue? You never looked this nervous before.
Uh, yeah.
Just, uh-Just a lot riding on it this time.
And now, the pivotal moment is here.
For there can only be one champion show choir per nation.
Second place goes to- - Do it! - Yeah! New Directions! Which means the winner of the National Show Choir Championship is Throat Explosion! So Jean-Baptiste mailed it here? Yeah, he said that when he found out one of the people on his team stole it, he was furious.
And then he apologized and said that he made sure that the thief was kicked off the team.
Hmm.
A bully with a moral code.
All right, guys.
Time to put our new trophy in the case.
I've always found that second place trophies are just a lasting reminder that you didn't win.
Hey, there were 16 teams in that competition.
We beat 14 of the best show choirs in the country.
I'm sorry we let him down.
Let who down? Finn? We just really wanted to win this one for him, and for you.
We had a plan that we were gonna call you up on stage and give you the trophy to keep.
It's not right.
This is not how the story was supposed to end.
You're right.
Oh, it would have burned Finn to have lost to those guys.
All we would have heard for months was how the judges had robbed you or how you were so much better than them.
But then he would have stood up, and he would have told you that even though most of you had never been in a show choir before this year you still stood tall against the best of the best.
And you know what? Even though Finn didn't have the best voice or the best rhythm or the best throwing arm, he always brought out the best in himself and in others, and the great thing about him is he always managed to find a way to feel like he'd won.
I was really proud of you guys up there.
Hearing those songs was so healing for me.
And, I don't know.
I saw how much he meant to you.
So, win or lose, Finn lives in you guys.
Okay, guys.
Let's put this trophy where it belongs.
A second place showing is superior to when Finn decided to make out with Rachel on stage, and we ended up in 12th.
Principal Sue wants to see you, Schuester.
Dead man walking.
Well, Roz, I got to admit, I didn't think you had it in ya.
Between the toxic fumes from your excessive beauty products and all those MoonPies I see you shame-eating in the bathroom stalls when you don't think anyone's looking I didn't think there was room for the kind of fire and creativity it took to uphold the Cheerios honor and bring home another national championship.
I'm sure it gives you great disappointment to know you weren't the only reason the Cheerios won all of those years.
Come back when you've won 16 more and had a child with a celebrity crooner.
Then you can talk trash, Roz.
- Until then, as principal- - Are they almost done? She'll get to you when she gets to you, loser.
Uh-Second place is not losing.
It's like winning a silver medal in the Olympics.
Sure, if there was an Olympic event in being totally gay! Whoa.
Just like my date with John Salley.
Well, bye, all.
If you need me over the summer, you can reach me at my beach cottage in Saint-Tropez.
But there ain't no phones.
I bet you're hoping for a last-minute reprieve and then I'll say something about how your plucky band of pinhead minstrels overcame so much to get where they did and how second place is actually an achievement.
I-I-I-I can't say I wasn't secretly hoping you would consider it.
Well, I have considered it.
More than you know.
But I just can't.
In the words of ex-principal Figgins "my hands are tied.
" I'm the principal now, William and my job is concerned with the health of the entire school not just the fiefdoms that I like.
And I do like you, William.
That's why I'm so mean to you.
That being said, the Cheerios stay because they won.
So does the debate team, the football team, the girls soccer team and Mock U.
N.
However, diving, Academic Decathlon actual decathlon and, yes, the Glee Club need to go.
Should I fight? Sh-Should I make a speech about the arts or- or how much this club means to me personally? Save that for your wife.
It would probably turn her on.
That won't make any difference here.
So this is really it.
- What's gonna happen to the choir room? - Well, it's prime real estate.
They'll probably turn it into two classrooms.
And since we won't be needing the band anymore to play everything from obscure Broadway to Queen at a moment's notice probably sell off their equipment and buy some computers.
Butt-chin up, Schuester.
Look where you were four years ago when you started this thing.
You've got a national championship trophy from last year in that case and a bunch of other loser trophies standing with it.
You and your team have done phenomenally well and you did it with the world's greatest nemesis playing her best game against you.
You didn't lose, William.
Game's just over.
- Oh, my God.
- Now what? Your band booked a huge gig playing a show at the Union Square subway station? Why do you want to know? So you can steal his dream too? - Exactly.
- It's Glee Club.
They've been disbanded.
They didn't win at nationals.
They're turning the choir room into a computer lab.
And Sue isn't backing down this time.
It's over.