JAG s05e11 Episode Script

Merry Christmas, Dad.
Oh, excuse me.
I didn't mean to disturb you.
I forgot to bring something to light this with.
Not a problem.
Who you here to honour? An aviator.
Lt.
Harmon Rabb.
Little Harm.
That's what your father called you, isn't it? Yes.
You look so much like him.
- You must've been-- - I was 5.
The last time I saw him, he took me to Mission Park.
We carved our initials in a roller coaster.
Do you ever go back there? They tore it down.
How did you know him? I met him on the USS Ticonderoga.
I was in a USO troupe with Bob Hope on his annual tour.
You're Jenny Lake.
I have your album with Count Basie.
Oh, my jazz experiment.
That was a few years later.
I met your father on December 23rd.
Thirty years ago yesterday.
- That Christmas Eve-- - He was shot down.
I know.
I was there.
Next time, we take separate helicopters.
It's not my fault it was crowded.
The only spare inch for your hand was on my chest? Oh, hello.
Hello and welcome to the USS Ticonderoga.
- That must be the express.
- Never mind the noise.
Hope is gonna plotz when he sees this water hazard.
We'll give him a mulligan.
I'm Ensign Kyle Everett of the Public Information Office.
I'll be your official escort and liaison officer.
Harvey Bambini.
I'm the road manager for this here travelling zoo.
This is Jerry Colonna, Bob's not-so-straight man.
- And Les Brown.
- Love your band.
- Tough act to follow, huh? - Yeah.
Hey, whatever happened to ladies first? I'm Phyllis Diller, cutie pie.
This is Diana Ross.
This is Jenny Lake.
The captain invites you to join him on the bridge.
Folks, I just got word.
Mr.
Hope's helo had to turn back to Danang.
- Unfortunately, mechanical problems.
- Are they all right? They're fine, but they won't be able to join us till tomorrow.
The show's today.
Not without Bob, it's not.
We can do it tomorrow.
There's room in the schedule.
That is, if the skipper would be kind enough to put us up for the night.
Women aren't allowed overnight on American warships.
Oh, you're not gonna throw us to the sharks, are you, captain? Better than sleeping with the band.
Speak for yourself, honey.
Well, I think we can find accommodations that are appropriate for all of you.
Excuse me, captain.
We got us a sick bird coming in.
- Who is it? - Rabb.
Panther Tower, this is Badman 1.
Five miles astern.
Roger, Badman 1.
What's the nature of your problem? Flak damage to the flight control system.
Ailerons are acting up.
Roger.
Your signal Charlie on arrival.
Are you gonna be able to get us down? Just keep your eye on the hydraulic pressure.
Roger that.
- Tong, Hammer, you trap first.
- What? Don't you want witnesses, or are you afraid you're gonna foul the deck? Both.
Wilco, see you by the Christmas tree.
Break.
Control, this is Badman 2.
We are first on approach.
Roger, Badman 2.
- Call the ball.
- Roger, ball.
Two-point-four.
I can't watch it.
It's okay, honey.
One's down.
How's that hydraulic pressure? It's fluctuating between zero and 1500 psi.
Panther Tower, two-zero-one bears abeam.
Three hundred knots.
Roger.
Angel on the way.
This is Angel.
We have a visual.
Roll excursions.
I'm losing it.
Eject, eject.
Angel, plane in the water, just off the fantail.
Two good chutes.
Affirmative.
We have two good chutes.
Roger.
Angel is there.
I didn't know you're gonna have a floorshow, skipper.
Well, it wasn't on the schedule.
Trust me.
- Are they all right? - Oh, they'll be fine.
If they don't shrink when they get wet.
Ensign Everett will show you to your quarters, ma'am.
Aye, sir.
Now if you'll follow me, just watch out for the knee knockers.
Her fiancé was a Marine pilot.
Killed in action? One week ago.
She shouldn't be here.
She's a trouper.
I sing a little too, Miss Lake.
But nothing like you.
Well, for one thing, your voice would be a little deeper, wouldn't it? Yes, ma'am.
Here you are.
Somebody will be bringing your bags.
Thank you, ensign.
Oh, this place could use some wallpaper.
Phyllis, I shouldn't have come.
I know it isn't easy, kid.
Watching that plane go in the water was like seeing David die.
Look, kid, we're stuck here tonight.
But after tomorrow, you can get back on a plane to the States.
No.
No, it's only another week.
I can do it.
Looks like Santa came early.
Can we help you, gentlemen? Yeah.
You could tell us what you're doing in our stateroom.
This is Phyllis Diller, and this is Jenny Lake, from the Bob Hope USO Tour.
Bob's stuck in Danang until tomorrow.
I guess the skipper thought you wouldn't mind.
No, we can hot-bunk someplace.
How about here? We were just about to grab some chow, if you ladies would like to join us.
Yeah, Phyllis, go with them.
No, go.
I'm fine, I promise.
Well, if she insists.
Hoot, I'll catch up with you.
I just want to grab that combat mission log.
- You okay? - Go.
Gone.
- Shy little thing, huh? - Yeah.
It used to be her act.
Now she's been doing it so long.
She is her act.
You, I guess, are a little newer to show business, huh? Hey, I'll just get out of your way so you can find that mission log.
More planes going up.
It's the catapult.
How long does that go on? Until they launch the squadron.
Is there someplace I can go to get away from the noise? Fantail.
It's the opposite end of the ship.
I can take you there, if you'd like.
Are you Rabb or Gibson? - Rabb.
- Mort Reese.
I need a picture of the hero they pulled out of the water.
That was you? Look brave.
No, I don't know what papers it's gonna be in.
No, I can't give you a copy.
You ready? No.
I'm kind of getting used to it now.
Hammer Oh, I'm sorry to interrupt.
CAG wants to see you on the bridge.
See you later.
Sure.
The clearing, sir, somewhere about here.
Somewhere? By morning, those missiles are gonna be disbursed all over the province.
We're sending in an intruder strike tonight.
I can't pinpoint it on this map, sir, but I could find it again.
You're not qualified on intruders.
You'd have to fly in the bombardier's seat.
A passenger? Or we could always strap you to the bomb rack.
No, sir, second seat will be fine.
Then grab some chow.
We launch in an hour.
Aye, aye, sir.
I was mad at your father.
It made no sense.
My father was a pilot who survived, ma'am.
Your pilot didn't.
He reminded me of David too.
Not that he looked like him.
All fighter jocks are kind of alike, they say, ma'am.
Like you? I was.
I'm not anymore.
When my father got back, did you see him again? Oh, yes.
I saw him later that night.
So, Jerry, tell me the truth.
What's that thing on your mouth? A moustache or a caterpillar? Why don't you kiss me and we'll find out.
Well, I guess my insurance is paid up.
- Something moved.
- The earth? No.
Your tongue.
That wasn't my tongue.
And I don't think you wanna know what it was.
That's the stuff Bob won't let them do.
So I go to the doctor.
I say, "Doc, I've got a pain under my left breast.
" Yeah? What did he say it was? My trick knee.
We shouldn't be talking this way around all these sailors.
It's like being in the middle of a big dessert tray.
Watch out, fellas, she likes to nibble on a few appetizers before she gets to the main course.
Now hear this.
Now hear this.
Munitions loading about to commence.
The smoking lamp is out throughout the ship.
The smoking lamp is out throughout the ship.
Well, I've got underwear older than most of them.
I'm warning you, guys.
You're gonna have to put this out.
Mind if I sit down? Yeah, wherever you want.
I was just leaving.
Hey, if it's on my account, I can eat in my quarters.
Or should I say, your quarters? Kind of a confusing night, huh? - Look, lieutenant-- - Harm.
You seem like a nice guy.
I'd like to be alone with my thoughts.
Probably shouldn't be on an aircraft carrier, then.
No, I probably shouldn't.
When we were flying in, I couldn't believe how small this deck looked.
And the only safe way to get down is to get shot down.
You almost got killed today.
It wasn't as close as it looked.
Doesn't it bother you? Not half as much as this chow.
You almost got killed, and you crack jokes? What would you suggest I do? Rabb.
Joe Garcia.
I hear you're looking for a ride downtown.
You my chauffeur? Well, if you know how to work the knobs in the passenger seat.
I've been studying up on my handy pocket checklist.
You didn't eat much.
Nervous? I figured you'd be serving a box lunch.
I'll see you when I get back.
If you get back.
She's with the comedy troupe.
Jenny, what the hell are you doing? Having the time of my life, Les.
Can't you tell? We're supposed to be cheering these men up.
How about getting them out of here, so they don't get killed? - Wouldn't that cheer them up? - Hey, you're out of line.
Then send me home.
- Hey, Harm.
- Tong.
I'll see you in the ready room.
Listen, are you taking a run at that singer? She looks like she's hurting, Tong.
Well You might send her to Sickbay.
Last I heard, Dr.
Hammer is a happily married man.
He still is.
This girl just needs a big brother.
Okay.
What does big brother need? A little sister.
Don't worry about it.
It must get kind of dull flying these turkeys everyday.
We do kill a SAM every now and then.
Mostly by accident.
I hope you don't get bored.
I brought a book.
Then mark your place.
This is Sunday Puncher 1 taking the pause that refreshes.
How's your book? Boring.
Good.
Because we're going feet dry.
Here we go.
Well, it's not The Supremes, but it does make you wanna dance, doesn't it? Why is that, captain? Well, I believe you said it yourself, Diana, if I may call you that.
"Love is Like an Itching in My Heart.
" Not the song I had in mind.
What were you thinking of? "You Can't Hurry Love.
" We're being painted.
Time to go down.
Charlies with the popguns are the worst.
Target should be about 12 o'clock, You got that SAM at 11 o'clock? I don't get excited till three are in the air.
What do you say I dispense chaff, anyway? Whatever.
Come two degrees left.
I see the target.
Follow your designator.
Commencing run.
Get ready.
Your pickle is hot.
Steady.
Steady.
Release, release, release.
Nailed them.
Outstanding.
We took some flak in the wing tank.
We're streaming fuel.
Our wingman's been hit.
Did they get out? I have two good chutes.
Ma'am, are you lost? I'm looking for the fantail.
Fantail.
Well, see that'd be the-- That'd be the hangar deck.
And this is the O-2 level, see? The first two numbers here, ma'am, they tell you what level you're at.
And then the next three, tell you what frame you're at.
- And then-- - So I have to go up? Yes, ma'am, down.
Ma'am, the fantail wouldn't be a real safe place to be right now.
We had some intruders coming in in pretty bad shape.
In fact, one of them just got shot down.
- Who was in it? - Well, I don't know that, ma'am.
But if you'd like to go see them come in, I can take you up to Vultures' Row, and you can watch them come in.
Would you like to? It's this way.
Only one in, so far.
Here comes another.
Call my fuel.
Twelve hundred pounds.
I hope this thing gets good mileage.
You don't wanna swim twice in one day? I forgot my flippers.
Eleven hundred pounds.
Paddles, this is Sunday Puncher 1.
Intruder ball, one-point-one.
Roger, ball, you're low.
Get it up, get it up.
I never had that problem before.
I can't see.
Thank you.
Bad habit.
We all had it back then.
Excuse me.
- Miss Lake? - Yes.
Private 1 st Class Phillip A.
Fields, Until I got shot up at Quan Loi.
You visited me at the hospital at Cam Ranh Bay.
You, and Bob Hope and that guy with the big eyes.
Jerry Colonna.
I had the picture of Jimi Hendrix on the wall above my bed.
And you told me you liked "Purple Haze.
" Nobody played the guitar like Hendrix.
You remember.
Yes.
You kissed me on the cheek.
I was really hurting.
It meant a lot to me.
To all of us.
Well, I just wanted to say thank you.
No, Private Fields.
Thank you.
Merry Christmas.
That must make you feel good.
Yeah, very good.
Where was I? The photographer had blinded the pilot with his flash.
Oh, God, I thought that plane was gonna go in the water with your father in it.
I can't see.
Go around.
No.
Come back.
I'm getting some of my vision back.
What the hell was that flash? I don't know.
I was looking down.
How's our fuel? Point six.
I have the ball.
A mile and three quarters.
Check me out.
Am I online? To the left.
A little more.
Nose up.
Touch of power.
That was the one wire.
Was that the one wire? I thought it was a whitecap.
Aviation Machinist Mate Richard, report to hanger bay.
Aviation Machinist Hammer, that will teach you to go flying in a dump truck, huh? Didn't do too bad for a blind man.
I'm sorry about the flash.
Really, I had no idea.
I just took a picture.
And so I get a copy.
He doesn't give his photos away.
Not this batch.
CAG deep-sixed his camera.
- With my picture in it? - Yeah, there's a loss.
The party is still going on down in the mess.
- Come on, I'll buy you guys root beer.
- Maybe later.
- Has anybody seen--? - Jenny Lake? You know, she watched Garcia there almost buy the farm with you onboard.
She got so upset, she ran off crying.
- I didn't know she cared.
- Well, she doesn't care.
Yeah, Phyllis Diller told me.
Her fiancé was an aviator.
He got killed last week.
Anchors aweigh, my boys Anchors aweigh Farewell to college joys We sail at break of day Hey, hey, hey Anchors aweigh, my boys Anchors aweigh Sail on to victory And sink their bones To Davy Jones, hooray Come on, kid.
You wanted to be a singer? You're up.
Great job, Phyllis.
Here, take this.
Sittin' in the mornin' sun I'll be sittin' till the evenin' come Watchin' the ships roll in Yeah.
Then I watch 'em roll away again I'm just sittin' On the dock of the bay Watchin' the tide roll away I'm sittin' on the dock of the bay Wastin' time You really flew missions into China? Those missions are secret, Jo Jo.
I hope I can count on you to be discreet.
The outcome of the war could depend on it.
Bob said we'd meet men like you here.
We don't think of ourselves as brave.
We're just men doing our jobs.
Bob didn't say brave.
He said full of crap.
If they fought the Communists as hard as they're fighting to get in these girls' pants, this war would have been over.
We should lend Dixie and Jo Jo to the South Vietnamese.
They've got a great defence.
You know, I was a very big supporter of the Reverend Martin Luther King.
I can't do What ten people tell me to do Honest.
So I guess I'll remain the same She lived next door to me.
We used to play in my tree house.
She was the only girl I ever loved.
"I know we made promises.
Maybe I'm just weak.
But I honestly believe I've fallen in love with Dennis.
" My best friend.
We were on the tennis team together.
"It happened after a Jefferson Airplane concert in Hartford.
I'm sorry if this hurts you.
But waiting for you, not knowing if you'd ever make it back, it was just too much for me.
" I'm thinking about joining the priesthood when I get home.
"Dear Reggie" I thought you said your name was Archie.
It is.
She called me Reggie.
A pet name, you know.
Really.
And I headed to the Frisco Bay 'Cause I've got nothin' to live for No, nothin's gonna come my way I'm just sittin' On the dock of the bay Watchin' the tide roll away Oh, I'm sittin' on the dock of the bay Wastin' time It looks like nothin's gonna change I can't do What ten people tell me to do So I guess I'll remain the same I'm sittin' here restin' my bones And this loneliness Won't leave me alone Two thousand miles I roamed Just to make this dock my home I'm just sittin' On the dock of the bay Watchin' the tide roll away I'm sittin' on the dock of the bay Wastin' time Were you really gonna jump? Yes, I think so.
What happened? Your father happened.
Doesn't have any right to be this beautiful, does it? My grandmother was born in South Dakota.
Died in South Dakota.
She never saw the sea until she was 75.
My father put her in his Plymouth and drove her out to California.
Walked her out on the Santa Monica Pier, and she looked out at the ocean.
You know what she said? No.
"Oh, my God, it's big enough to hold South Dakota.
" You know, the view is much nicer from this side of the rail.
Yeah, I'm all right.
I promise.
Just leave me alone.
I don't think I can do that.
Why not? Because I need somebody to talk to.
You're not bad, kid.
Navy got an exclusive contract on you? Only for another two years, four months and three days.
You're not counting the hours? Four hours.
The plane exploded.
There were two chutes.
A skinny kid from Chicago named Rogers.
A loudmouth called O'Rourke, who thought he could bluff at poker.
Well, we haven't heard a damn thing from them since.
- But they're alive? - Maybe.
Maybe they got shot on the ground.
Maybe they landed in a river and drowned.
Maybe they're being marched to a POW camp right now.
That would be the worst thing.
Worse than dying? People who love you should have closure.
And who loves you, lieutenant? My wife, my son, Little Harm.
He's all boy.
Drives his mother crazy.
You must miss them very much.
Miss? They send me letter tapes.
I listen to them until my roommate screams.
He can recite them along with me.
"Hey, Dad, I went to Marineland today.
Mom bought me a shark's tooth.
I got one for you too.
" That's a hell of a way for me to talk to a woman who's just lost her fiancé, running on about my family.
No, it's better than someone trying to cheer me up.
What was his name? David.
He was an aviator like you.
Did you love the part of him that made him an aviator? You mean, did I love the thing in him that got him killed? Yeah.
Yeah.
I wanted to have babies with David.
Hey.
Hey.
It's all right.
Are you kissing him? Who are you kissing? I don't know, sir.
He should be here soon.
Morning, sir.
- I'm glad you could join us, lieutenant.
- Sorry, sir.
Bob Hope just arrived, gentlemen, and I'm gonna say hi.
I hope you enjoyed that impromptu show last night, because you're gonna miss the one today.
The CAG will brief you.
XO, you've got it.
The powers that be don't think Uncle Ho deserves a break, just because it's Christmas Eve.
And they don't think you deserve one, either.
What's the mission, sir? The SAM site that's taken out three of our aircraft.
It's gotta go.
The mission's an iron hand.
So we're gonna be giving them some early Christmas gifts, us.
You let their radar lock on, so your missiles can follow it home.
Fire and run like hell.
You know the drill.
Nobody talk.
Nobody move.
I've got to get this eyelash back on.
Very delicate.
It's been with me since Guam.
Now for my next trick.
Do you have to go now? It isn't exactly voluntary.
And you.
I think you need a goodbye kiss for luck.
Why, thank you.
Jen, give me a zip.
I think we need a little alone time.
But just don't start anything unless you're prepared to finish me.
You're kind of cute.
I'd better chaperone that poor boy.
Well, you better come back before I leave.
Well, let's see, you and 3,000 sailors or a North Vietnamese POW camp? Don't do that brave-joke crap with me, Harm.
That's all we have, Jenny.
You can't take that away.
Harm.
Jenny, if this was another life Well, you just get back here for the life you have.
I'm gonna have a life now too, because of you.
Here.
Take this, for luck.
There's something I want you to have.
Your wings? It's Christmas Eve.
Everybody should have something.
Every Christmas, someone brings a little bit of the United States out here to us, far from home.
And no, I don't mean Santa.
It's a great honour for me to welcome this man and his USO Troupe to the USS Ticonderoga.
Mr.
Bob Hope.
Hello, fellas.
"Hay cameraman?" Where'd you learn how to spell? Hay cameraman.
H-A-Y.
I don't know how you got that high.
I want to tell you that.
I just-- Where the hell are we, anyway, here? Oh, yeah, the Ticonderoga.
And we're very, very thrilled.
How about you Tico Tigers? Oh, this is a pretty sight.
Isn't this beautiful? Who are these kids over there? Are they on our side? It's amazing the change that comes over the crew when you bring five beautiful girls aboard.
We got more steam on deck than we have in the catapults.
They look pretty nice to me, I had to go to the North Hollywood Draft board and report in, they gave me a physical.
But I thought they were pretty rude about it.
They burned my draft card.
All right, enough about me.
Here's someone I know you guys will welcome.
Miss Jenny Lake.
I'm dreaming tonight Of a place I know Even more than I usually do And although I know It's a long road back I promise you I'll be home for Christmas You can count on me Please have snow and mistletoe And presents under the tree Christmas Eve will find me Where the love light gleams I'll be home for Christmas If only in my dreams Christmas Eve will find me Where the love light gleams I'll be home for Christmas If only in my dreams I'll be home for Christmas If only in my dreams We never heard from him again.
His worst fear.
But you know all that.
I didn't know about you and him.
Harm, he loved your mother very much.
And you, he would be so proud of you.
I finished that tour, and I came back every year until all our boys were home.
One way or another.
I fell in love with the bass player in the band.
And I have two wonderful children, who wouldn't have existed if your father hadn't chased a mixed-up girl out to the fantail of an aircraft carrier in the middle of a crazy war.
I was gonna leave these at the memorial, but they belong to you.
My father's wings.
No, they belong to him.