Las Vegas s05e11 Episode Script

Ooh merry christmas, santa christmas comes this time each year ooh ooh well a-way up north where the air gets cold there's a tale about christmas that you've all been told and a real famous cat all dressed up in red and he spends the whole year workin' out on his sled it's the little saint Nick ooh, little saint Nick it's the little saint Nick ooh, little saint Nick just a little bob sled for that old saint Nick but she'll walk a toboggan with a four-speed stick she's candy-apple red - We are so gonna win this.
- I don't know.
I hear that life-Size gingerbread house at the venetian is causing quite a crowd.
Not enough to get enough donations by midnight.
No, candy is dandy, but beefcake is bank.
Now I know why no line's at "Take your picture with a kwanzaa bush.
" Thanks, ladies.
You up for christmas tomorrow? Ooh, water skiing in the morning, rum and eggnog in the afternoon, - and a fabulous house party all night long.
- Very nice.
Brunch with Danny, presents under the tree, and writing christmas notes to the baby all day.
- Notes? - Our family's first christmas.
I mean, obviously, the baby's not gonna remember.
So what are you doing? Ah, dinner with aunt gladys.
Maybe some carols with the pips, her christmas movie marathon.
All topped off by a week of much-needed vacation.
Yeah I don't deserve to be this happy.
But I just can't help it.
From a christmas Carol.
The best christmas movie ever.
- Oh.
- Excuse me.
Ah, aunt Gladys.
My shift's over at 5:00.
I'll be there at 6:00.
You want me to bring Off? What do you mean? Wow.
Iraq? No, no, that's great.
You and the pips will be good for the troops.
For two weeks? No, no, no, no.
That's cool.
Maybe next year.
So how's gladys? Uh, she's great.
I gotta go.
Mike.
Shouldn't you be packing? Uh, change of plans.
Gladys and the pips just got asked to entertain the troops in Iraq.
From christmas to new year's.
But don't worry about it.
It's all good.
Now you and I can do that b-Ball marathon, baby.
Heat, cavs.
Lakers, suns.
Sonics and blazers.
Ooh, uh, yeah.
Delinda's making kind of a big deal about this being our first family christmas, since last christmas was so messed up.
It's not that I don't think of you as family, Mike.
- No, I get it.
- You're like a brother.
It's just that, and then Cooper's been all over me about the retail store thing.
And then we've gotse christmas notes that she wants - For the baby.
I heard.
- Yeah.
Maybe I could catch you for the third game.
Don't worry about it.
You do what you need to do.
- You sure? - Yeah.
- Because if you don't have anything going on - Danny, please, I'm Mike Cannon.
- I've got a million things going on.
- Come here.
No, dude, I'm fine.
I'm fine, man.
Yo, Sam, what you got going on for christmas? Huh? Oh, I'm doubling my bonus.
See, while you dumb asses were planning vacations, knitting stockings I don't know, cutting down trees.
Whatever it is you christmas folk do.
I was working on Linus phelps.
- Who? - Linus phelps.
He's a hedge found genius.
He comes here all of august and drops a million I convinced him to come here now so that I could lavish all of my attention upon him.
Merry christmas.
So you're gonna spend your christmas working a whale? Yeah.
Nothing says peace on earth like cold, hard cash.
Help the homeless? Ma'am, you can't be doing this here.
- Trying to help the needy? - Soliciting.
- I'm sorry but I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.
- Oh, come on, can't I just stop? - No, you have to go.
- That's not exactly keeping with the christmas spirit.
Maybe the spirit is overrated.
- Linus! - Sam! - Hey.
- You are right! Vegas is milder in December.
Yes, well, you know I want my favorite client to be comfortable while he's gambling.
- Speaking of which.
- Oh, the infamous million.
Two two million? - Three million? - It was a very good year.
Happy holidays to you, Linus.
- Gotta love the season, huh, Mike? - I guess.
You got any plans? Night shift and paperwork.
And you got a letter.
Of course, tonight's the night a billion-to-one shot happens.
- What do you mean? - You know those twins from bella petto? Guess who they invited over to help stuff their stockings.
You? Guess it is the giving season.
"Wish you were here.
" It's like finally the twins show some interest, and I'm stuck here holding down the fort.
- No, you're not.
- What? I'll take your shift.
We're talkin' twins, Mitch.
I can't deny my fellow man that.
And the paperwork? - Sure, man.
- Oh Just make sure you don't call donna "Denise.
" I'd hate to find you stuffed up someone's chimney.
Oh, thanks, Mike.
Who's the letter from? No one.
What should I put you down for? Nothing.
I wish to be left alone.
"wish you were here.
" I wish I knew where here was.
Spare a pence? Please.
It's christmas.
Away with you.
Bah, humbug! You got that right.
Who needs christmas? All it does is make you see what you don't have.
Come on.
I hate christmas! Mike.
Mike Cannon! Scrooge.
What I can't You cannot move Mike Cannon.
Not now.
Not until you've been visited by the three spirits of christmas.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
I get it.
I blacked out.
This is a dream.
This is not a dream, Mike Cannon! From this moment hence till christmas morn, you will be visited by three spirits.
Not until the visits are over will your fate be decided.
More sugar for santa, baby.
Where do you think you're going? The line! The line! Blind much?! Who, hey, relax, ladies.
We work here.
Yeah, don't worry, everybody's gonna get their turn.
Jeez.
I guess some people just can't feel that holiday cheer.
Okay, so I've got the prospective retailers down to two finalists that I'm meeting with today.
In other words, you don't know yet.
In other words, I haven't decided yet.
- You haven't decided? - Not yet.
You haven't decided what to recommend.
As president of operations, I assumed that I'd be the one to decide.
Then why are we having this meeting? Because I wanted to let you know that I'm that close to deciding.
Well, I don't have a problem with you deciding, Danny.
As long as I like what you recommend.
I'm kind of sentimental about our last piece of real estate.
Okay, so I will let you know what I decide to recommend.
Tonight.
- Tonight when? - Tonight tonight.
I'm going on a trail ride.
- At night? - At night.
Okay, I'll have an answer before you go.
You mean You'll recommend your decision before I go.
Hi, Mike.
Hey, Sam.
I had a hell of a fall.
Actually, I'm not Sam.
I'm your first spirit.
I'm the spirit of christmas past.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm gonna see if Mitch has got any aspirin.
No, Mike, please, you can't go out there.
Mitch! - See, the present's not my job.
- Mitch! - Mike, please.
You're gonna get me in trouble.
- What the hell are you talking about?! I thought I just got through telling you.
I am the ghost of christmas past.
I mean, how hard is it to understand? "Past.
" Oh can you not read? Shame on you.
Ow! Okay So I'm here to remind you why you're in Vegas, and to show you that, you know, you know, you're life here hasn't been so bad.
- Okay.
- Okay.
So do you want this to work? Want what to work? Our walk down memory lane.
It's the old Montecito.
Mr.
Herman.
That's me! I drive him in the limo whenever he's in town.
- He always asks for me.
- Why you? We talk engineering.
Specifically hydraulics and their applications in a mechanized society.
Five years ago, you were the only valet with a masters from M.
I.
T.
You were positive and optimistic.
- Maybe I should go talk to myself.
- Oh, no, no, you can't go over there.
You can't talk to the past.
This is a dream.
This is more than a dream.
Would you quit hitting me?! The stripper pole suite.
This is where I cracked my first case.
- Oh, yeah.
- Why do they want me up here? One of our forensics guys is covering a homicide, and the other one's at a conference in carson city.
You have a masters in engineering and I saw that virtual model you built for the van damme case.
You're pretty good at this stuff.
Diamond salesman who gets his freak on in the stripper pole suite.
I like that.
Look, all we need to know is whether or not anybody entered that sealed window in the last eight hours.
Whether it was another room, a window washers' platform, anything.
We're 18 floors up.
Have we eliminated all of the ambulatory escape routes? So it seems that you were made - for this job, doesn't it? - Yeah.
But I didn't know then what I know now.
I still don't make as much as I did as a valet, and the hours are way worse.
- Stop that.
- When you start working with me.
Why are we in surveillance? Okay, okay, that's me taking the first counterfeit I found.
Now, let's run it backwards until we see that specific tray being removed from the cart.
You got it.
Well, once you got here, it didn't take long to prove you were a natural.
Give me the casino angle.
Ah, let's see what we got on here.
And while you're at it, give me bella petto.
Go tight on the topless chick near the middle.
She's good, but about 1:30 I've got two blondes putting oil on each other.
Mitch, this is business.
Just a skosh more professionalism.
See, while you're getting your perv on, this guy's lifting this other dude's wallet.
Freeze it! Let's see what we got on him too.
I'm in a surveillance zone, baby! Some people spend their whole lives trying to figure out what they're good at.
Yeah who's this guy? - You already know.
- Maybe.
- What's that supposed to mean? - It's just, I get that I'm moving forward in my job, but seeing all this stuff from the past makes me see that I'm really not anywhere closer to where I want to be.
I'm sorry, are you trying to say I'm not good at my job? - No, I - No, no, that's fine.
Let's see how you like it back where you were.
Because if you don't start changing your tune, You know that's exactly where you're gonna stay.
Wait, Sam - Excuse me? - No, excuse you! Hey, ladies, is there a problem here? Yeah, we had to use the can, and they won't let us back in line.
Okay, okay, you know what? I can vouch for these ladies.
They were here.
Swear, so, hey If all of us could just channel that christmas spirit, huh? Long enough to let these ladies back in.
Hey, that wasn't so bad, right? Okay, ladies, remember, this is a charity.
Look Look how close you are to the north pole.
That's not the pole I want to see.
See, this is what I love about you.
All caffeinated.
You're all ready to hit the tables.
Actually, I'm not.
You're still settling in.
I love that about you too.
- You ever made a snap decision, Sam? - Why, you thinking about - mixing things up a little bit? - Yes, I am.
Great, what can I do for you? You want to play a little poker? - I'm gonna give my money away to charity.
- Well, of course you are.
That's great.
- Charity's very important.
- Yes, it is.
I've never been here at christmas, and I guess the seasonal spirit just hit me.
- Sure.
- Plus, $3 million is gonna do a lot of good for a lot of people.
Yes, it is.
You're you're gambling $3 million? Now my charity three million.
Yeah, your charity three million.
Let's see here, "Las Vegas outreach and indigent center.
" Where'd you get this from? Hi.
Las Vegas outreach.
Hi.
Help the homeless? Hi, how are you? Hi.
Hi, how are you? Oh, yeah.
You have to leave.
Oh, but I'm just working for the Las Vegas No, no, no, I don't care what charity you work for.
You're not allowed to talk to my clients.
- You mean Linus.
- Yeah.
See, thanks to you, Linus isn't spending a dime here.
Is that really so bad this time of year? I mean Yeah, actually that's bad any time of year.
See, we're trying to run a business here.
This is not some street corner where you can sucker people in with your "poor me" routine.
- As opposed to the way you do it? - Mm-Hmm, yeah.
You know what, actually we have charity here at the Montecito we have naked santa.
You should go over and say hi to him.
You can take you papers and your ass.
and head right over to the lobby, where you'll have a better chance of finding people who are willing to give to your very worthy organization.
Thank you.
Thank you.
- And, Mr.
Phelps, thank you.
- Yeah.
And you know what, maybe I'll see you over there later.
Okay.
Your cashier's check should be ready in a few hours.
- Oh, he is so kind.
- Yeah, he's great.
Christmas sucks.
Andrea, send her in.
Danny, hi.
Bobbi Angeli.
Angeli lingerie.
Of course.
Thank you for coming.
- So these are the facts and figures? - These are the facts.
Merchandise that appeals to both men and women.
Marketing that attracts twice as much traffic as you have now.
And a revenue stream projected to triple in the next five years.
And these These are the figures.
[Rick james's super freak.]
she's a super freak, super freak she's super freaky yow everybody sing super freak, super freak she's a very kinky girl the kind you don't take home to mother she will never let your spirits down Sam Sam Sam Hi.
Hey, guess what.
So I've decided to give you another chance.
- But only if you promise to stop complaining.
- You promise to stop hitting me? Fine, but no more job stuff.
Okay, good, that's great.
Because, you know, your life in Vegas is not only about your job.
It's also about the ladies.
The ladies? It's okay.
Ooh, hot.
Angie, you know there are people right outside this door.
Michael, you've had many women, such as this, while you've been in Vegas, haven't you? You know, soon she's gonna call me a liar and a stalker, and then leave.
She is? How do you not know that? Uh, I I The past is very big.
I thought you were supposed to be reminding me of the good parts of my life.
Yes.
Yes, I am.
Hey, why is my name on this disk? She freaked out, right? That's clear.
I thought that if I learned about you quicker, that it would just speed up the process a little.
She is smoking, which is important.
- You spied on me? - No, no, I wouldn't call it spying.
- I'd call it research.
- And you are the bald casanova of the Montecito.
So I think you should just revel in that.
So how does that make you feel? What about her? He likes to move inside.
Make his move in t final stretch.
There you go! - Come on! - Go, go, go, lucky bastard! - He did it.
- Congratulations.
Yeah, same to you.
I'm friends with the jockey.
The horse was 20 to 1.
Why didn't you pick him? - It's my horse.
- She clicked with you.
She's rich and Hot, and she's a sports fan.
She turned out to be a lying, murdering polygamist.
You still haven't shown me my sexy childhood friend who ditched me for L.
A.
My ex-girlfriend from M.
I.
T.
, who turned out to be a lesbian.
And then there's the hot teacher with the abusive stalker ex-husband.
Yes, Michael, your relationships came with baggage.
Most of them do.
We all have our baggage.
- Who cares? - So maybe I want something more.
Whatever happened to you, it's better to have loved and lost then to never have loved You know what, I'm sorry.
- You know, I'm done.
- What does that mean? I'm sorry, I thought this was the correct job for me, and it's obviously not the correct job for me.
I apologize.
I'm done.
Now, wait, no, wait, wait, wait.
No, no, no, no, don't cry.
You're doing great.
It's not you, it's me.
- I'm not great.
- No, you are great.
Please, don't cry.
- So, what do you think, Mr.
President? - I think it's beautiful.
So these would serve as an alternative bottom to this one? And same with this? Ah, hold on one second.
Danny, there's something here you really need to see.
- Uh, yeah, call Mike.
- No, we swapped shifts.
Plus, he's not back until tonight.
But this is really about you.
And I have to see this right now? - Right now.
- All right, I'll be right there.
Sorry, ladies, but I gotta go.
Maybe we could talk about this more later? Okay.
That's not what I'm saying, Linus.
I would never try to tell you what to do with your money.
You know me.
I'm just saying that the outreach center It's not the only game in town.
I'm not looking for a game, Sam.
This is charity.
I Exactly! Don't you want your charity to do the most good for the most people? If you're about to suggest naked santa, I promise you, I'm not interested.
Look at Jerry Jerry the pit boss.
He's the father of 12.
He makes most of his money off of tips.
Without people like you, how is he ever gonna send his kids to college? He's not.
And then there's Frank, the dealer.
He's had three triple-bypass surgeries.
All paid for by Montecito gambling.
I mean, without your money, what's he gonna do when it's time for number four? These people, Linus And thousands of other employees, they really need the generosity of someone like you.
Are you honestly equating a blackjack dealer With a homeless person? Uh, no.
Of course I'm not.
Well, I personally haven't been there myself, but from what I hear, Franko's place could use a good steam clean, if you know what I mean.
You know what I mean.
I'm giving my money to the shelter, and I'm checking out tonight.
Linus, what are you talking about you're checking out tonight? Good will to men, Sam.
- Linus - Try it sometime.
- What's the emergency? - Oh, I didn't say emergency.
I said there's something you need to see.
- Check it out.
- An mp3 player? He's giving 'em away.
- Who? - Pramil nobay.
- The "at" store.
- I thought that we had a meeting at noon.
Given the competition, I wanted to get a jump on things.
And Mitch here was willing to help.
- How nice of him.
- Look, Danny, I know we're up against a lingerie store.
And I agree I agree, lingerie is great Once in a while.
But tech Tech is forever.
So this is where you've been.
Oh, Mitch, I see you've brought another unauthorized guest.
Danny, we should at least let these girls finish their presentation.
What do yo mean "we"? And now that we're here, we certainly can show you more.
Oh, man, tis so low, Bobbi! - Low? You hijacked him from my meeting.
- I'm sorry, is that what they're calling - lap dances nowadays.
- Meetings? Guys, guys, guys Guys, guys, guys Guys, guys, please! Both of your presentations were great, really.
But I just need a little bit more time to make a decision, so if you could just take this You know, this is sort of a Get them out.
Out! - Hey, Nick.
- Hey, Sam.
Deck the halls with tequila.
- You got it.
- Make it a double.
- Getting into the spirit early? - Some do-Gooder just stole my $3 million whale.
Here you go.
Thank you, Nick.
I've had other hosts come after me, you know.
Other casinos, billionaires, crime lords.
I've kicked all their asses.
Now I'm supposed to let some woman with a two-Bit cherry take me for three million?! - Mm.
- "Las Vegas outreach and indigent shelter.
" I've never heard of it.
Uh-Uh.
Me either.
In fact, I don't know anything about it.
Mike! Mike.
Mi-Ike? Piper? Piper? You are not gonna believe the dream I just had.
Oh, yeah, about that First I saw this guy scrooge! - Just like from the movie.
- Actually Then I saw Sam.
Only she was worse than Sam, if you can believe that.
And she kept hitting me.
Why are you wearing that? Oh, no, no, no, no.
This is still e dream.
Sorry.
No Oh, it's okay.
Hey, calm down.
Shh, it's okay.
I'm your second spirit.
The spirit of christmas present.
Voila.
I am here to show you why it is so very important that you be in Vegas right now.
- Ready for a trip? - Listen I've been shown my job and all my relationships, and all that it's done is gotten me even more down than I was before.
Mike, did you ever think that if it wasn't for your past, you wouldn't be where you are today? Problem is, right now I don't think things are too great.
Okay, well, I'm gonna show you what the other spirit didn't.
Your friends, and what they really think about you.
I don't think my friends are thinking about me at all.
Mm, I wouldn't be too sure about that.
You're not gonna hit me, are you? See what I mean? Danny's with Delinda tomorrow.
Today he's all about the laptop and lace.
Sure he is.
Mikey, Danny.
I don't know where you are, but I'm working on this retail space thing, and I needed to bounce a couple things off you.
Well, anyway, it's cool if you can't, but if you can, call me.
All right, bye.
Sounds to me like you're missed.
Danny's my best friend.
Of course he's gonna call me for advice.
He's not the only one.
Come on, Janice, you've been talkin' forever! I've got a long list! - Mitch, I need Mike.
- Well, where is he? We have a situation building.
See? You're wanted and needed.
Voila.
Sorry, ma'am, but your time is up.
Ma'am Okay, you gotta go.
Come on.
Go? After all the time I've waited?! Damn it, Janice, can't you think of anybody but yourself?! Self? Like your selfish ass? You hit santa! Oh, god.
I'm outta here.
Help! I need security down at that christmas display right now.
Mitch, just check this out for me.
It'll take you two seconds.
- I am managing a situation, Sam.
- Mike would do it.
You're missed, need, and wanted.
- Fine, what do you need? - I just need you to check this out.
You know, find out how long they've been there.
Do they have any tax issues? Any legal - You want dirt on a homeless shelter? - Yeah.
I'll wait.
Hey, this dude's lifting a wallet.
Yo, Mitch.
Mitch! You're missing this.
- He can't hear you.
- Well, there's gotta be something we can do.
Put it up on more screens.
Oh, brilliant.
It isn't working.
It isn't working! Come on! Okay, there is no Las Vegas outreach and indigent shelter listed.
But that doesn't mean anything because it might be new and not logged in yet.
So how do I find problems with it? You could go there.
If it's a shelter, it's probably open 24/7 here.
- I'm just gonna go there.
- Mitch.
The pickpocket There he goes! Well, take me down there now! Danny, Danny! It's ruined.
- What is? - Our christmas display.
Now the venetian's gonna win.
Or worse, the luxor and that damned red-nosed sphinx! You know what? Don't worry about it.
Have you seen Mikey anywhere? Mike? Mike? Haven't you heard a word I've been saying? I still can't make up my mind about this retail space thing.
It's driving me freakin' crazy.
- So I'm sorry if I don't - Wait.
Wait.
Maybe it's because this is the first time you've been asked as president to add something to the Montecito.
- I've added plenty - Wait And the pressure To make the right choice is stopping you from making any choice at all.
I mean, if that's true, Danny, then your block isn't about the retail space.
It's about you growing into the job.
In which case you should just relax.
'Cause any choice you make will be a good one.
I love you.
- Thank you.
- Wait, wait! What about my christmas display? Oh, yes! Hey, all right! I still don't see him.
That's too bad too.
Late on this week that guy is gonna rob a convenience store, and somebody's gonna get shot.
- What? - And that guy whose wallet he stole He's a school bus driver.
He's gonna be so distracted by the incident that he is gonna get into a pretty bad accident.
- You're kidding.
- Like I said, Mike, it's very important that you're here.
All right, all right.
Then let me be here.
- I can't.
- Why not? Because in reality, you are still in your office underneath that tree.
And until you get out, you can't do anything.
Will you marry me? Oh yes! Oh, that's so special.
Oh, that's really beautiful.
I'd like to offer you, on behalf of the Montecito, a complimentary luxury suite for your entire stay.
Can I take a look at the box? The pickpocket's out there.
You've gotta let me wake up.
Not until you've seen all the spirits.
But I get it now.
I'm needed here.
I'm good to go.
To live or to die, to come or to go is for us to decide.
And remember, you did bring this on yourself.
- Come on, I wasn't that down.
- "Who needs christmas? I hate christmas!" Okay, okay, okay.
Maybe I was feeling a little sorry for myself.
But I wasn't ever giving up.
Yeah, well, you say "tomato, " we say "the crossroads of your very existence.
" That's not exactly keeping with the christmas spirit.
Well, maybe the christmas spirit is overrated.
- Ha! - Fine! Fine, I was wrong, okay? Piper? Piper! Man, I hate this dream.
Great.
- Hey, want to come in and see? - Why would I want to do that? 'Cause you're that host from the Montecito Helen told me about.
The one trying to keep us from getting the biggest donation we've ever had.
Well, that's not exactly true.
I like charities.
Really? Care for a tour? Yeah, I'd love one.
Okay, here we go.
Okay I'll be back in a minute.
All right, Cooper, here I come.
Mike.
Mike! Forget it.
Unless you're coming to wake me up, I'm done.
Why, Mike? You're my last spirit? Christmas yet to come.
But you can call me Michelle.
Now, why do you say you're done? 'Cause I've just been shown how in five years I haven't moved on in my job.
Haven't found anyone right.
I can't even take a break, because if I do, terrible things happen.
If you ask me, the only person who's putting pressure on yourself is you.
You don't think catching that pickpocket is worth some pressure? What will be will be.
Right now, you just need to cut yourself some slack.
- It's kind of hard.
- That's why I'm here.
That's how things can wind up.
What do you mean? - Why am I at Danny's desk? - Not Danny's desk.
The desk of the president of operations.
You can be whatever you want to be.
President of the Montecito Mayor of Las Vegas.
You're here for the dedication of a project your wife came up with.
I have a wife? You have lots of things in the future.
Only way to find out is if you keep on keepin' on.
And finally, this is our common room.
Where we have weekly visits by a nurse.
So what do you think? Uh, about what? If we can use the money.
I think I'm just Glad to see you guys aren't full of crap.
What's crap is that a boy like that has to stay in a place like this.
- There's more.
I can show you.
- No, I think I've seen enough.
Thanks.
- A jewelry store? - No, no, no.
Not a jewelry store.
An event store.
A way to show people that the best moments of their lives should happen right here at the Montecito.
I mean, this place could provide party planners, photographers, access to any kind of gifts that they want, or any kind of events that they want.
You know, like, whether it be an engagement, an anniversary, a reunion, birthday, whatever, you know.
I mean, why would we limit ourselves to one particular product when we could give them the best of all of them? Where's this idea come from? Just kinda hit me.
Anyway, that's what I recommend.
- We could pay ourselves rent.
- Mm.
I like it.
I think you should decide to do it.
Yeah! You got it? Uhh! We were so gonna win this! I know.
- I heard the red-Nosed sphinx at the luxor got a short.
- Yeah.
Ll, I heard a waiter spilled a gallon of eggnog on the venetian's gingerbread house.
So we could still win this.
If we had a santa.
There's gotta be someone willing to face those women.
Have you seen Mike? - Beautiful, isn't it? - Yeah.
It's times like this I wish I could stay up here forever.
No stress from work.
No heartache.
No feeling sorry for yourself.
No problems at all.
But no more of that cool future stuff you showed me either.
Well, that's the question.
Are you willing to take the good with the bad and the bad with the good? Yeah, I am.
- Then I think you're ready to go.
- All right.
Wait.
I do have one more question.
Who are you? The other spirits looked like people in my life, but you - I don't know you, do I? - Not yet.
Are you my daughter? Try granddaughter.
One of them.
One of them? - So who's grandma? - I'm not supposed to tell you.
Come on.
She was one of the spirits.
Cks a mean punch.
Sam?! Sam?! I mean, she does have a great aaaa-titude.
Got a great attitude.
Sam?! Psych! I'm not gonna tell you who your wife is.
That'll ruin everything.
That wasn't funny.
Michelle.
Michelle! - Mitch, where's Mike? - I don't know.
He hasn't answered his cell phone all day, so Guys.
Smoke! Guys! Do you think he's in here? Mike! This door's stuck! This one too.
Oh, my god, I think I see him.
Mike! Mike! Danny.
D, guess what.
I did it.
I I'm on my way.
Mike! Please, donovan, try harder! He's under the christmas tree! Come on! Now back up! Come help! Get him out! Okay, he needs air.
He needs air, guys.
Give him some room.
You okay, buddy? That depends.
Is this a dream? No.
Then I'm great.
Hi, Linus.
- Sam.
- Helen.
- Hi.
- We were just sharing a toast.
- For his gift to the shelter.
- Oh, right, all three million of it.
Plus a little extra.
It is christmas.
- Isn't he wonderful? - He really is wonderful.
You know, he is so wonderful That he almost got taken by a classic long con.
- Excuse me? - See, when a grifter decides to target a whale, they try to get him to donate a lalarge amount of money to a very worthy cause, like thehelter, for example.
And then, you know, the whale may become a little bit skeptical Or his friend might And decide to look into the story.
And, lo and behold, it happens to check right out.
So the whale parts with his cash.
Right, Helen? Maybe even a little more than he expected out of guilt or, you know, 'cause it's christmas.
My, that sounds terrible.
But it's very effective, as long as you don't get greedy.
Right, Helen? Here's the problem.
- You tried to hustle a local.
- We aren't hustling anyone.
Your shelter's on the strip, right? And on your door you have a little non-profit license - for the city? - Yeah.
See, every local knows that the strip doesn't belong to the city.
It's unincorporated county property.
Helen You can't possibly believe her.
Linus, it's christmas eve.
You wanna know your choices? You can either stay and get arrested, or you can get out before I take you outside and beat the crap out of you.
Sorry, Linus.
- I feel like such a fool.
- Don't feel like a fool.
Listen, I spoke to the police, and these people are targeting very big whales like yourself.
Still, I I owe you.
No, you don't owe me anything.
But, uh one of these charities, uh Might check out for you.
Did you research these? Yeah, sure, you know.
Anything for a client.
- Thank you, Sam.
- You're welcome.
Merry christmas, Linus.
You know, I haven't check out of the hotel yet, And it seems like a shame to come all the way to Vegas and not do anything.
We are so gonna win this.
- I know! - Next! - This is Courtney.
- Oh, hello, Courtney.
And what would you like for christmas? Well, how about a candy cane in the meantime? Okay? Bye-Bye.
Any chance you can keep that suit overnight? Only if it's for a good cause.
- Aah! - Next! Ha ha! Hey, Mikey! - Hey, Greg.
- Merry christmas.
Allison, looking good.
Hi, Mike.
And hello to you, sir.
Ah, merry christmas.
And hello to you.
Nice! Yes! Looks like someone's been naughty.
Whatever, man.
What are you doing? Yeah, making sure everyone has a happy new year.
Take him to holding.
You got it, Mike.
See that these wallets get returned to their owners.
Let's go! Move it! Look at you, catching the bad guy.
We just won that charity competition.
Not a bad way to head into tomorrow, huh? Ah, it's christmas there, governor.
I don't think there is a bad way.
Oh, uh, by the way, I've been thinking.
Tomorrow, if you're still interested in basketball, I think Delinda could probably give me a couple hours in the afternoon.
That is cool, but I have plans.
Piper's having me out for water-skiing with her girlfriends.
- I didn't know you water-skied.
- I don't.
Uh, but if I'm not worn out, I have an invite to your place.
- Really? - Mm-Hmm.
Delinda wants me to help out with those christmas notes.
Apparently, somebody's gotta teach you how to write.
Hey, Mike Your name's on one of these.
Oh, it's not just Mike, it's all of ours.
All of ours what? We have gifts under the tree.
From Cooper.
- It's probably cigars.
- Or cowboy boots.
Gwyneth paltrow's head? Bowling shoes? Hey, it's the thought that counts.
Yes.
I think that starting to like this guy.
Yeah.
I think he's starting to like us too.