Lost Girl (2010) s05e11 Episode Script

Last time on Lost Girl I brought you something.
The Vanishing.
A little birdie told me it contains the first song.
A true Siren sings the first song, at the one they intend to vanish.
What the hell was that? That's how I sucked your chi and survived the accident.
You can be whatever Fae you're touching.
What are you doing here Jack? You leave my daughter alone.
Mine turned on me, so what makes you think Bo won't do the same to you? Father knows best.
Sorry.
It's okay, I'm just still getting used to that.
Look, can we talk about How things are going with your Dad? You mean, Jack? Right, him, too.
What can I say? He saved Mark's life; helped me get rid of Zee.
It's confusing.
You ever heard: "To know your enemy, you have to become them?" Well, that's gonna be hard.
I barely know Jack.
Maybe that's the problem.
Ahem.
Tamsin.
You're here you are.
Umm, you called me? About a letter? Right.
The letter.
Umm.
It was right here Actually, I've been wanting to talk to you.
Trick said you're going somewhere? Umm, do you want me to help you look, speed this up Brownie? They're Rocky Toad.
No, thank you.
Oh.
Umm.
I think that's.
Okay.
My letter.
Who's it from? Umm.
No-one.
What the hell is this? Payment in full.
You delivered me what I asked: a virtuous yet lustful girl, eyes both brown and blue.
Don't spend it all in one place.
I don't want your money.
I never should've made that deal.
I thought you could use the money for your little trip.
You always were a runner.
But there's one thing I don't get Laid? Why a warrior like yourself insists on wasting her potential the way you do.
This coming from a man in a box.
You know, with the right influence, you could really be something special.
Go to hell.
You should be leading armies, not crying into your beer because the cool kids didn't invite you to the sock hop.
There you go.
Welcome to By-You Burrito, where you tell us how to make it.
I'm your server, Stacey.
May I suggest the chalupa? Actually, I'll take the "I heard you worked here", with a side of "but I had to see it to believe it" As if this isn't your fault.
Hello, when you stopped me from taking the hot doctor's soul Owing Freyja a soul is on you.
But, in retrospect, that might've been a bad idea.
Look, what if I told you I could balance Valhalla and get you back in Freyja's good books? I'd say, next time, lead with that! Stan, I quit! And I lied.
I am going to tell your wife! Uhh, the burritos! So.
Whose soul are we taking? You need someone close to the Succubus' heart, right? How about her father? Hades? I think I just chalpua'd my pants.
According to my research and believe me, this is all the research I've been doing lately the last time Hades was vulnerable was when he was banished to Tartarus.
What happened? After the battle of Titans, Zeus and Poseidon split the spoils of the Earth with Hades.
Zeus got the sky, Poseidon the water, and Hades drew the shortest straw, leaving him to preside over the underworld.
Sounds bogus.
Hades is a massive player, not some Jabroni.
What is she doing here? Oh, you remember Stacey.
Freyja's right hand? You have a French fry in your hair.
The Ancients aren't exactly known for their honesty.
Is there any chance Hades was conned? There are rumors that Zeus tricked Hades.
That Hades was enticed to draw the short straw by a woman wearing a necklace of seduction.
It's called The Brísingamen.
Freyja.
Thanks, Trick.
What are you two up to, anyway? Oh, nothing.
Just doing a little Intel.
Don't worry about it.
Easier said than done.
Can't believe Freyja used her bauble to sexterfuge Hades to Hell.
Well, she lured him downtown once, she'll do it again.
You and I need to get to the Gates of Valhalla.
Right away.
Tamsin.
We need to talk.
Come on, one drink.
Look I know that things are weird right now, and that you're unhappy, but her? Stacey is my Valkyrie Sister.
We share a bond.
She gets me.
Something is going on with you and I'm not budging until you tell me.
Lauren.
Lauren.
There's leaking.
Oh, looks like your girlfriend needs you.
You never said there would be leaking No, but I did say being human comes with quirks.
Well, I'm all Wes Anderson'd out.
Make me Fae.
Now.
Okay you two, enough fighting.
You see this!? It's an age spot! I can't turn her Fae if I can't run tests.
And I can't run tests if you don't let me! Okay enough, just To your corners.
I don't feel well, Lauren.
What do you mean? You didn't say that.
Well, you never let me finish.
Evony, if you want to be Fae again, Lauren needs to run more tests No! No more needles.
I hate needles! Well, maybe I can help with that.
There.
Okay, are you ready to run some tests, Doctor? Thank you.
I can't believe the incantation didn't work.
Stupid Valhalla gates.
Well, maybe you said it wrong.
Whatever.
I got a C+ in Norse.
Yeah, exactly.
Maybe the entrance moved.
Stacey.
They're gates.
They don't move.
Well, then we've been banished.
This is worse than being dumped by text.
What are we gonna do? I am not going back to By-You Burrito.
Well, good thing I called back up.
Back up what? What are you idiots up to? You called Acacia? Why? This is your emergency? I said 'urgent predicament.
' You gonna tell me what this is about? We need Freyja to lure Jack, Hades, back to Tartarus.
Uh-huh shoulda known: this is about Bo.
No it's not.
I knew it.
It's not.
I am fine.
I need your help! Sorry, V-Girls.
I'm on another job.
Shit.
Now how are we gonna get into Valhalla? She looks good.
Think she got Botox? It's like she hasn't aged a day since high school.
High school.
The only other place on earth with a portal to Valhalla.
Stacey! Yes! Girl most likely to return to her abandoned high school.
This place used to be the shit.
It's shit, alright.
Sweet Valkyrie High.
Sweet Valkyrie High.
Hey, Tamsin.
Did you study last night? Do you even have to ask? I color coded my flash cards.
Stacey, color coding means using different colors.
But I like pink.
Did you hear about the new teacher? I heard she's an old friend of Headmistress Freyja.
I heard she used to fight in real battles.
Valkyries don't fight in real battles, Stacey.
That's what I heard.
I heard she was top of the class.
Just like I'm going to be.
And after I win Valedictorian, I'm going to "Take my place at Freyja's side in Valhalla.
" We know, Tamsin.
What? You guys don't think that I can? Or are you just jealous? What are you doing? Oh.
I don't know.
I'm sorry.
We should get to class.
Yeah.
This place smells like a Woodstock port-o-potty.
I did Jimi in one.
Hendrix.
How long has this place been closed? Decades.
Things went south after you Do not blame this one on me.
Own it.
Kay? You're kinda a legend.
Oooh It's probably just a raccoon.
This place always had a lock on creepy.
It had a etiquette classes and a pep squad.
You really don't remember? I remember wanting to graduate so I could get the hell out of here.
Please be seated.
After a long and extensive search for a worthy candidate, we have finally found a new instructor.
You will find her fair.
But firm.
She was a peer of yours truly when I was at Valkyrie Academy.
Please welcome Mistress Acacia.
If you have any questions, please direct them to our head girl: Tamsin.
Alright, class.
Tell me, where did you leave off? Chapter Nine: How to administer palliative care to a soul on the battlefield.
"Essentials of Valkyrie Battlefield Comfort" "and Care for the Downed Soldier.
" Have any of you girls been on a battlefield? Certainly not.
But if we ever are, we'll have the tools to understand and care for a soldier's soul.
You mean, you'll have the tools to use a soldier's soul.
No, ma'am, the role of the Valkyrie is to take a fallen warrior's soul and deliver it to Valhalla.
And what if I told you the true role of the Valkyrie is not to play nursemaid, but to intercept soldiers in battle and win wars.
You're talking about Doubt.
Indeed, I am.
We're forbidden to speak of such things here.
Ladies, please dispose of these.
We'll start with the basics, learning the art of Doubt.
Ma'am, I don't think Headmistress Freyja would like what you did I fear it's Fear.
Fear is the enemy of the Valkyrie.
A true Valkyrie is brave.
Open.
Proud.
If that is not something you're interested in, there is a Pixie Beauty School down the road.
That'll be all for today.
Thought you could use a break.
And she came bearing smoothies.
How did you know? Well, let's just say your pillow talk is very informative.
So Busy day, Dr.
Lewis? Slow, actually.
I'm waiting on Evony's test results.
I couldn't help but notice you didn't let her in your situation.
Yeah well, I thought it best to keep my conduit abilities from her until I turned her back.
Since when was turning her back part of your plan? Why are you here again? What? I am interested in what you do.
Or more specifically: what I do when it comes to parental containment.
You're here to see Jack.
Know thy enemy, right? Sorry to interrupt, Dr.
Lewis.
It's urgent.
What is it? Lauren, what's wrong? It's Evony's test results.
What do you mean I'm really sick? What's wrong with me? Well according to this, a lot.
Well, isn't this a big bag of donkey dicks.
There's a chance if I turn you Fae, it could exacerbate your condition.
What's she saying? Turning you Fae It could kill you.
Instantly.
What? No I You can't fix me? It's just that with other diseases, I know what I'm dealing with.
But with this I don't.
Well, I do! I watch Lifetime.
Don't touch me! I don't need your help.
I don't need anyone's help.
I am the Morrigan.
Or I was I'm so sorry.
I said don't touch me.
Why didn't you just turn me Fae when you had the chance? Because I wanted to test the serum.
To make sure it was safe.
Test it? On who? You'd think a portal to Valhalla would be hard to miss.
But that's what I said about genital warts Okay.
Tam-Tam? I don't think we're alone.
Okay, let's just find the thing, so we can get out of here.
It has to be around here somewhere.
What is it? A mistake.
I'm sure of it.
I've never gotten lower than an "A" on a paper before.
No mistake.
The assignment was to describe the role of the Valkyrie.
What you wrote contained no individuality, no inner truths, no personal fears.
Are you telling me your greatest fear is getting a C minus? I don't want to read another comforting fallen soldiers.
If you would like to write the truth, your truth, that is something that I'd be interested in reading.
I just don't know what you mean.
Sounds like someone needs a tutor.
I don't need a tutor.
I am a tutor.
Well then, I guess we are finished here.
Now if the Head Girl would excuse me, I have a meeting with the Headmistress.
I'll do it.
Good.
Meet me in the courtyard at midnight.
But Curfew's at nine.
Well then, Miss Goody Two Shoes.
Looks like you have a problem.
That's it.
We can't find it because it's not here.
No shit, Tammy.
No, the doorway to Valhalla only opens in the presence of teachers.
Well, there's no teacher here.
Then it's a good thing I came.
You're back! No, wait, what are you doing here? Thought you'd need someone to bail you out of your kamikaze mission.
So you'll get us into Valhalla? Truth is girls, it wouldn't help if I did.
Freyja is dead.
Dead? Freyja is dead? Did she bleed out? Choke on a meatball? I really don't know what happened.
The point is, you're gonna need another way to lure Hades back to Tartarus.
So you're in? If we decide to pursue this, we'll have to keep it on the down-low.
Just between us.
Goody Two Shoe's honor.
Is it really necessary to meet this late at night? I'm impressed you came.
I always keep my word.
Before we begin you should know, some might call my teaching methods "unorthodox".
Aren't they? Many of our traditions have been repressed in the past.
But we were given the gift of Doubt for a reason.
To comfort soldiers on the battlefield.
Our ability to read people's insecurities can soothe.
But it can also be used as a weapon.
To exploit armies and to win wars.
I can teach you the old ways.
But first you must give me your word that these lessons will remain a secret between us.
I promise.
Good.
Lesson one: Doubt me.
Find my vulnerabilities.
I can't Are you afraid? Or just weak? I'm not weak.
You're just a teacher.
If you were really a Valkyrie you'd be doing something meaningful.
Sounds like you're getting the hang of this inner truth thing.
It's a start.
I can't do this.
I won't.
Looking over Evony's symptoms, I don't understand how she's still standing.
Or how she got so sick in the first place? That's easy.
Arianrhod.
P.
S.
Your lobby coffee sucks.
Who, or what, is Arianrhod? Keeper of Time and Karma.
Evony, did you two have a run in? When I was the Morrigan.
She said all the bad things I did would come back to me.
She cursed me.
Right.
But as the Morrigan, you were too powerful.
It didn't take effect.
Until I turned you human.
Now, in the words of Janet: what have you done for me lately? You're the doctor, where are the magic hands? Doctors can't just put their hands on you to fix you.
It's not that simple.
Unless it is.
No.
You said it yourself: his handprint saved Mark and it protected you from the Nyx.
But we still don't know if there will be repercussions from that.
Get to know him first, right? And here's a perfect opportunity.
Umm, lifesaving handprint? Wake up you two! What are you waiting for? I want the hand job! So, this is The Hades.
I thought you'd have a face like a foot.
How'd you get so tanned living in Tartarus? Please tell me they're not flirting.
So, you must be The Morrigan.
Not anymore.
Sad face.
That's right.
You were turned human.
Lauren was going to turn her back.
But she's still working on the cure.
Yeah but didn't you As I was telling Evony, I needed to test it on a research subject before administering it to her.
And how is that subject? Very good.
Thank you.
You're in good hands.
Tell that to my sickness.
Evony has, among other symptoms, nuclear DNA damage.
Which is accelerating her cellular senescence.
What can I do? We need a handprint.
The same kind you used to save Mark.
And you as well, remember? I'd love to help out, but I'm afraid my touch only melds with the flesh of Fae.
But you're my last hope.
You'll either find a cure or you won't.
But until then, keep on fighting.
Cause that's what you do best.
I mean you are the goddamn Morrigan, aren't you? Goddamn right I am.
That's the spirit.
Now you've got two choices: you either give up or fight like hell.
Looks like we have company.
A Tracker.
You ready? Well, I didn't stretch, but That's your cue, rusty.
Feels like old times at the Taiping Rebellion, saving your ass.
Pretty sure you saved my leg.
I saved your ass from the bamboo spikes, remember? Not bad.
You could've just given him detention though.
What? And give up my evening? What did he want anyway? Freyja? Not dead.
So you lied to us.
It's complicated.
Try me.
I'm here aren't I? But why? To help us or to protect Freyja? You don't trust me.
Now girls, you know I don't put stock in idle gossip.
But I have heard some disturbing rumors of some alternative teachings going on on Academy grounds.
If any student has any information regarding these troubling rumors, I'd expect them to come forward.
Is that understood? Tamsin.
You were made Head Girl for a reason.
Do you have anything to report? No, Headmistress.
Okay then.
Study hard.
And remember: only one more day until I choose Valedictorian.
I didn't want it to come to this You've never been able to Doubt me.
You really think you have what it takes? Do you really think you can hide the truth from me? Do you really think you can hide what you know about Freyja you're not capable of it.
I can't I'm I swore to I swore to protect her.
She's here.
You did it.
You finally doubted me.
Took you long enough.
That was some serious stink eye, Tam-Tam.
Teach, you got schooled.
Where is she? Show me.
Freyja? Holy shit.
Somebody needs a shower.
Looks like I asked the wrong person to protect me.
Protect you from what? You're supposed to be the leader of Valhalla.
If you're so powerful, why did you run? When Hades escaped Tartarus, mercenaries came for me.
Some wanted to use me to send Hades back.
Like you.
Others wanted me for ransom.
Acacia agreed to protect me.
Valkyrie sisters to the end.
So you hid.
Like a coward.
I backed you.
All these years.
What do I care? You're just a little snitch.
And whose fault is that? Good morning, girls.
Stay seated.
I'm a bit rushed today, re-staffing a key position, so let's get down to business.
It gives me great pleasure to announce the Valedictorian of our graduating class.
Stacey! Yes! Stacey will be delivering her address at Commencement next week.
Congratulations.
Now, as some of you may know, you will be getting a new teacher of this class for the remainder of the semester.
Your substitute teacher will be here momentarily.
Excuse me.
Where's Mistress Acacia? Unfortunately, Mistress Acacia had to leave the Academy.
Why? What happened? Well her teachings were in conflict with the values upheld by this school.
That's not true.
Sit down.
Mistress Acacia taught us to be proud of our powers, not shame them, like you do! Mistress Acacia led you astray.
You made the wrong choice, but you are forgiven.
Now, please, take your seat.
Acacia was right.
We were born to fly into battle, not clean up after the wars are over.
We're meant to judge the righteous from the fallen.
Sit down! No! No.
You're expelled.
Pack your things and leave.
You're no longer Valkyrie Academy material.
Are you coming? Fine.
Remember my name, Chickadees.
Oh and speaking of birds If you won't admit the truth, there are other ways to get answers.
On what authority? I am the Mistress of Valhalla.
No.
You left.
Now you're just a girl in a bad dress.
But if you won't answer my questions, you leave me no choice.
You would dare cast Doubt on me? In that case: Final exams.
I hope you studied.
I was busy smoking in the girls room.
You can't even fool us, how could you fool Hades? Do you actually think that I will bend to your will? You haven't even graduated high school.
I can't.
Of course not.
Because you're just a disobedient child.
Lost.
But not alone.
Do you really expect us to believe you made Hades choose the shortest straw? Timber.
Hades pulled the short straw on purpose.
He wanted to rule Tartarus.
To build an army.
What better place Than in Darkness.
What did he want with you? I was just a decoy who found a powerful necklace.
The Brísingamen.
Hades made everyone believe that I seduced him.
He knew the truth.
That you're a fraud.
You have revealed my deepest fear.
Now it is your duty to take my soul.
No.
The overseer of Valhalla should be the Valkyrie who should've always ruled.
Acacia.
And with Hades gone, we'll need someone to monitor Tartarus.
Let's go.
That might be too much floral for the underworld.
I won't be long.
My best student.
Do you understand now why Hades chose you to find Bo? Because I'm a pushover.
Oh, Tamsin.
When will you ever learn? You're leaving? I'm afraid so.
I got expelled.
So I heard.
I can live with that.
But I can't live with you being mad at me.
Tamsin No.
I didn't tell them anything.
I've learned more from you about being a Valkyrie than I have in all my lifetimes at the Academy.
I am so proud of you.
You are? You weren't born to serve, Tamsin.
You were born to lead.
Like you have in all your past lives.
You'll remember the rest in due time.
But you'd better get comfortable casting Doubt.
You'll need to when you lead your first army into battle.
Lead armies? Me? You have no idea.
I'm sorry.
What for? I fell in love with Bo.
I fell in love with the target.
I know.
What about restraint? Being a true Valkyrie means tapping into all your emotions, good and bad.
But you can't tap into emotions you haven't felt.
And you, my dear, have felt some very strong emotions lately.
It's that obvious, huh? Why do you think you were finally able to Doubt me? 'Cause you're a weak, old biddy? Because you opened up.
Learned to be vulnerable.
So now you're able to exploit the vulnerability in others.
She broke my heart.
Silver lining: it made you stronger.
Subserviant Valkyrie.
Leader of armies.
Bounty hunter screw up.
Quite the résumé.
Yeah.
But don't let the past determine who you're going to be next.
I don't regret loving Bo.
Love is the key to being a great leader.
That's why Hades picked you.
Because you're loyal, strong.
Because you always keep your word.
I knew you never sold me out.
I promised him I'd deliver her.
He knew you would.
And you did.
But he doesn't know what you're going to do next.
That must scare the shit out of him.
But he's unkillable.
He's un-vanquishable.
Everyone has something they want.
What does he want? Freyja said he wants to build an army.
Then be his perfect little General.
You're back.
I'm ready to serve.
Where do I start? You know, I've always liked you, Tamsin.
Before I even met you.
Freyja once told me about a young, rebellious student, and I knew right then that one day you'd be useful to me.
Well, if you know Freyja, then you know I know you chose to rule Tartarus because you want an army.
And you need me to lead the winning team.
Being an army General is an important job.
It would require me to put a lot of faith in you.
I'm not sure you're a good fit.
Why? Tamsin.
I have always loved your spunk.
But you're a terrible liar.
You're right, I can't fake it.
I know a fraud when I see one.
And buddy, you're it.
So, if you try to go after my friends, just know you'll have to go through me first.
Too bad you're stuck in here.
Is that what I am? Stop beating yourself up.
Bo, if I had just given her the serum when I had the chance Look, you had no way of knowing.
But now you do.
And you heard Jack Speaking of Jack, how are you feeling? I love him.
Finally, someone was straight with me.
I'm sick and I have to deal.
Evony, I'm impressed.
Well, luckily I have the help of a very good doctor Oh, you mean me? God, I hate your false modesty.
Yes, you, you moron.
Now, buy me a drink.
We got this.
Right? Yeah, I think we do.
To Dr.
Lewis.
My friend.
And the only hope I've got.
Evony I swear to you, I will never give up on you.
I know.
I mean, you're still chasing the slut-ubus.
Talk about futile.
We're glad you changed your mind.
Not without Jack's help.
Oh, do not go there.
It's complicated.
Oh, come on Bo, let it go.
He did a few bad things? If this has taught me anything it's that life's too short.
Especially for us humans.
Yeah, Evony.
About that.
I'll leave the two of you alone.
Tamsin, thank God.
I thought I'd never see you again.
I changed my mind.
I would rather have you as a friend than nothing at all.
Tamsin.
Bo, I screwed up.
Look, me too.
I handled this all wrong No.
I mean, with Jack.
Hades.
That's why I was with Stacey.
We tried to send him back to Tartarus.
Why didn't you tell me? I don't know I wanted to do it by myself.
For you.
For me.
And I totally failed.
Look.
We need more information before we do anything.
I think I have some information for you: he's building an army.
And he's gonna need your help.
I've been trying to get to know him.
What if he's playing the same game? There's only one way to find out.