Rescue Me s05e11 Episode Script
Mickey
Previously on "rescue me" Do you want to have sex with me,or not? You're saying that you want to have sex with me with no strings attached.
I want you to promise That you are never gonna make love to me and her on the same day.
Ok.
- Candy.
- Who's your friend,lou? Oh,just a lovely young lady that blew into my life a couple years ago and took about $26,000 of my money.
Bottom line,tommy,we're just both a couple of drunks.
Yeah,but I'm a higher-ranking drunk than you,so if aa was like an army,I'd be a 5-star general,and you're just a grunt.
You're freaked out.
So,like,where'd you learn how to do all that stuff? Hey,ma,listen.
The doctors think that they can stop the cancer from spreading if they cut out my kidney.
I'm gonna need you to come to new york,ma,and be with me.
So,I think we should just get down and dirty and do all that nasty,filthy,slutty,whorey,skanky,animalistic-- You think I'm a whore? Hey! - Hi.
- Hey.
How the hell are you,pal? Great.
He's drinking again? Like a kennedy on election day.
- That's great.
- Wow,look at that sky.
Let me look at you,kid.
Oh,god,you look great.
- What is that,aqua velva? - No.
I don't wear aqua velva.
Oh,it's me.
- Goddamn it,I smell great.
- Yeah.
Mike,shawn,how you doing,kiddo? Come here,you guys.
We're late.
We got to get going.
Whatever.
He's happy,and the bushmills didn't hurt.
That's right.
I love you.
I'm at the V.
A.
Hospital.
I'm looking after this old vet on his deathbed, and he's still got some stuff he wants to get off his chest, so I bring in his estranged son.
The man needed closure before he died, and I helped facilitate it for him.
I don't know what's more bizarre, the fact that he's drinking again or the fact that you just used the word "facilitate" and you used it correctly.
Oh,I'm using lots of big words,tom-- "facilitate," "revelation.
" The point is,this situation got me thinking about your dad again and how I never got right with him before he passed, so I asked mickey for the dvd,the old home movies, - you know,ones we all watched together.
- Right.
Well,I put it in the machine, and I poured two big bushmills, and then I drank real slow like,and-- get ready for the next surprise--voila.
- You learned a french word.
- No,no,no.
I started bawling my eyes out, and I'm not talking about a few whimpers or sniffles.
I'm talking about a personal goddamn katrina, and then suddenly it happened.
Instead of crying over how much I missed him, I started laughing my ass off for all the great times me and your father had together! --And then from that point on, I was gonna go tell everyone just how much i loved him, - including you,tom.
- Yeah? - I love you.
- Yeah.
No,tom.
I really love you.
I mean it.
I love you the shit out of you.
I do,and I'm glad as hell.
God,I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
Yeah.
Ok.
Ok.
We got to go see eddie.
I got to tell him how much i love him.
- We better stop and get another bottle.
- Let's go,baby.
Ok.
- Jump in.
- # I love everybody # # she loves everybody # # I love everybody # - oh,we love somebody - Hold on,baby.
- See you later.
- Let's go,ellie.
Hit it.
- Was that-- - Oh!Jesus christ.
Teddy had a revelation.
- Revelation,huh? - Yeah.
I used to drink those.
You ever have an epiphany? Oh,no,too much absinthe,endless hangover.
Yeah.
Do me a favor.
Do I have any spit on me? Ok.
See the spot right here? That's the only spot you don't have spit on you.
Put it that way.
- Yeah.
Well, anyways,I don't see your hooker friend Yeah.
- I know,right? - Hanging around anymore.
Could've told you she wouldn't be here on account of she said she wasn't leaving, of course,being the lying bitch that she is.
Yeah.
Well,good riddance,right Yeah.
Tell me about it.
Because,you know,it's just a better thing for you.
What do you mean by that? Let's face the facts,ok? Inside the bitter,old,crusty outer shell of you, inside is a soft,creamy,little chocolate ice cream center Here's the goo speech.
And I know and you know if she starts leaning on you, you're gonna fold like a card table,ok, - and I want to remind you of one thing.
- It's not gonna happen,tom.
- You live in a one-bedroom apartment.
- Those days are gone and buried,my friend, dead and buried,so why don't you put your finger down and go inside,ok? - Ok.
Finger is down.
- Yes.
- Go inside.
- Going inside.
Card table.
Proudly Presents Season 5 Episode 11 - yeah? - Hi.
It's me.
What are you doing? I'm flying a kite out of my ass.
What do you think I'm doing? Ach,don't say that.
Now every time I look at your ass,I'm gonna think about ben franklin coming out of it.
Yeah,yeah,yeah.
What's up?I got to go.
I'm sorry.
My house,6:30,sex.
We had sex yesterday.
- So?We don't have,like,a set schedule for sex.
- Oh,really? We have sex when we feel like having sex.
- Right,right,right,when you feel like it,right? - Looks like it,buddy.
Now,be here at 6:30 because i got the cable guy coming at 6:00 to do the satellite dish and then I got my book thing at 7:00, which means I got to leave here at 6:45, and make sure that you eat something before you come or after you leave because I ain't cooking for you.
All right,so I'm not even getting a sandwich out of it, and I got,what,like 15 minutes to do the deed? For you,that's more than enough time.
Ha!That's funny.
I got to go.
Got another call.
- Hello? - I need to talk to you.
Hey,coll,what's up? Where are you? What's the deal?You can't come into the firehouse now? He's there.
If I saw him again,I can't say what I'd do.
I'd probably cut off his penis and shove it down his throat.
You know,it just seems like it was just yesterday your mother and I were at the first communion taking pictures of you in your little white dress, and we're already talking about stuffing penises down people's throats.
Where does the time go? Has he said anything about me? Ok.
You know what? You got to just let go of that stuff.
He called me a whore.
He--he called you a whore?Wh-why did he-- where does he get off calling you a whore? You know what? Nobody calls my daughter a whore.
I'm gonna take care of this right now.
- Daddy,don'T.
- Why? I'm just kidding.
Go ahead.
Shawn,could you shut up,please? - Shawn! - What?What? Chill out with the singing,man.
I'm trying to shave.
You're making my ears bleed.
I keep thinking I'm cutting myself.
you know what? You're just jealous.
Yeah.
Oh,shit! Hey,hey,hey,hey! Tommy,what are you doing? Are you crazy? You don't turn a goddamn hose on a black man.
- Yeah? - Yeah,yeah.
Did you see the footage from birmingham? See the footage? I was there,ok? Ok,ok.
Oh--aah! No,no,no.
Tom,stop!Stop! - Now - What are you doing? Did you call my daughter a whore? No.
I didn't call her a whore.
- So,my daughter is a liar.
- No,no.
I said she did some whorish things.
Oh,oh,oh.
Of course.
Thanks.
No! Stop!Stop,ok? Ok,ok,ok.
Listen.
Now come on.
You know I love her.
Y-- Yeah.
I do.
It's just that she did all this stuff,man.
Like what stuff? Like this thing with her fingernails where she would drag them across my parts.
What are you,new? Nice girls,all kinds of nice girls,use their fingernails.
It's regular action.
- But the biting,tommy,the biting.
- So? She said she learned it from her mother,so-- So now you're calling my wife a whore.
No,no,no,no,tommy! I would never,tommy.
God,tommy,no.
I'm not calling your wife a whore.
Are you kidding me? No.
It's just that she said she learned different things from different people,ok, like her mother,the musician,and this tattoo artist Scumbag.
Yeah? Like the ass stuff.
I'm sorry.
Wh-what? The ass stuff.
Come on.
Don't make me go through some long,drawn out explanation about the ass stuff.
She did stuff to-- My ass, peanut butter and all.
- What? - Chunky.
Holy shit.
It's a private conversation.
I don't let anybody touch my ass.
Anymore.
Freaking unbelievable.
What is wrong with tommy? - I don't know,man.
- Are you all right? No,man.
I'm not ok.
I think you got a little peanut butter on your ass.
Hey--aw,shit,franco.
Stop it,franco.
You're all wrong for that shit.
Jesus christ.
- You're kidding.
- No.
I wish.
But you're a young guy.
- Is there any history of it? - No,no.
I mean,I just found out my mother had breast cancer,but I don't think that had anything to do with it.
So,no idea? No.
I'm sure it's ground zero-related.
That's what my doctors think.
- Oh,you poor son of a bitch.
- Yeah.
I can't even eat my doughnut now.
I'm actually on the way to the hospital.
they-- took a chest x-ray yesterday,checked my heart and everything,and it looks good,so I may go under the knife tonight.
- Tonight? - Yeah.
- Oh,sean,I'm so sorry.
- Yeah.
No.
It's good.
I'm trying to be positive,you know,be upbeat about it.
I mean,you can function fully on one kidney--that's what the doctors say-- so it's really not that much to worry about,i don't think.
Yeah.
- It's cancer.
- Yeah.
It's-- Cancer.
I've had so many relatives,you know, the doctor said they'd be fine,you know,after surgery, chemo,gone, overnight some of them.
- Really? - Yeah.
That's too bad.
Well,I hadn't really, had a chance to talk to the guys yet,so I was-- I didn't want them to worry,you know? Yeah,and you don't want them to think that,you know,you can't do the job Yeah.
You know,in the event that you survive.
Yeah.
It's-- anyway,looks like I'm gonna be about two weeks in the hospital and then probably another two weeks at home in recovery and whatnot,so if it's cool with you,I was kind of hoping you could cover for me, in terms of the department,you know,make something up.
You don't worry about a thing,all right? You broke your hand.
I'll get you a month,6 weeks,whatever you need.
Thank you.
It's really important that they don't know what's actually going on here.
I mean,I wouldn't even be able to get a desk job if they found out.
I'd be out of the department for sure,all right? - Look at me.
- Ok.
You worry about nothing,all right? I'm gonna call the brass as soon as we get back to the house.
- Put this out of your mind.
- Great.
Thanks.
Nice day.
It's a little cool.
Not so cool indoors.
Firehouse nice and warm.
You hungry? - Yeah.
- Not me.
You know why?Because I'm eating this big sandwich.
It's got everything in here.
- I know what you're doing.
- What am I doing? I'm eating.
I'm drinking.
I'm enjoying this beautiful unseasonably cool weather with temperatures that are supposed to drop to the low to mid 50s tonight.
Look.
I know you,ken.
You won't turn me away,not when I need you.
You're a good person.
No.
No.
I was a good person until certain bad people, present company definitely included, convinced me that good people are dupes.
Good people are chickens waiting to be plucked.
They're low to the ground, that much easier to be stepped on and stolen from and broken, so,no,you don't know me.
You don't know me.
I'm changed,ken.
I keep my word, and when I say I'm not leaving,I mean it, and no matter what you say or how you act, you still care about me.
All right.
Enough of this goddamn bullshit.
I've got a goddamn firehouse full of men over there,my chief included, who keep on asking me what the hell is up with that crazy bitch across the street who wants to talk to me,and i don't have a goddamn answer, so you want to talk to me,leave me a goddamn number but just don't get me kicked off the job on top of everything else.
Please use it.
It's important.
Take a goddamn walk.
Please? Never.
I mean,the fingernail rake,the tongue flick,the biting-- check,check,check.
I never mentioned anything about the ass.
You? No.
I'd never say-- only thing I know about asses is,you know,I like yours.
That's nice.
Honey,I'm telling you,this is not funny.
This kid was traumatized.
You should've seen him.
- What,by colleen? - Well,by coll-- the fire hose from the shower probably had a little bit to do with it,yeah,but mostly by-- What,you turned a hose on a black man? Honey,it's-- pfft,a black man.
He's not,like,a black man from the sixties.
This kid is 26 years old.
I mean,as far as he's concerned,the only thing he knows about civil rights-- I mean, he probably actually thinks the guy's real name is martin luther king-day,you know? What are you--what? Ah,you look sexy in those bunker pants.
- I know,honey.
- Let's get you out of them.
We're not gonna have sex in the-- seriously,what do you want,your purse? What are you reaching-- well,a hand job is ok.
I guess it's not like we live here.
Oh,yeah.
Ok.
Where you going? Honey,where you going? Honey? What-- Ok.
Yeah.
Do you hear something? Nope.
Oh,baby,that's just-- - Oh,god,I needed this.
- I guess so.
Yeah.
Oh,ho ho ho! Oh,yeah.
Oh-- Think I definitely-- I think-- I am so sorry to interrupt.
Just a little department business.
Hi,janet.
Wait here,honey.
Tom,would you be available to join us for one of our little fire thingies? We need all the help we can get.
- Yeah.
- Excellent.
Bye,jan.
I'll call you later,honey.
Look.
She came by because she wanted to talk about our daughter.
I mean,you know,franco,back me up.
She comes to talk to me.
It wasn't like I planned-- No,no.
You know what we got into?We started talking about colleen, - and next thing I know,she's pawing-- - Please,please.
I'm basking in this moment,this glorious moment.
For all I know,for the next 10 years, I've got you by the balls.
Mint? No,thank you.
Franco? I don't mind if I do.
Life is good.
All right,man.
Catch you later.
Somebody is tearing that bag to shit,huh? Wouldn't want to be in the ring with that monster.
Madre mia.
What do you want the dvd for? The kids miss their grandpa,you know,especially katy.
She was asking about it.
You know what?I'll just swing by and pick it up.
It's no big thing.
I mean,you know-- Sure,you can pick it up.
I'll be at the meeting tonight on spring,10:00.
I don't have time to come to the meeting.
Well,no meeting,no dvd.
Mick,come on.
Hey,them's the rules,cuz.
Take it or leave it.
Taking it,always taking it.
Asshole.
- Hello? - Hi.
Hey,oh,wow.
Hey,I like the place.
I know,right? I'll be right out.
Yeah.
I know you're pressed for time,so-- this is nice.
I like it.
It's more intimate.
Where's the--oh.
Anyways,I know this neighborhood.
It's a great neighborhood.
Come on.
Let's get rolling.
I tell you something right now.
You get your little brown ass out here.
I am gonna take it to town,my dear,little,sweet,hot minx.
Mm,I tell you something.
I am so horny-- Hi.
I'm don.
I'm putting the satellite dish in.
I had a cat once named minx - Oh,yeah? - When I was a kid.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Oh,so you guys have met.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
I got to check the roof for the exterior cables.
Nice meeting you.
How long,ballpark,you think that's gonna take you? - The roof? - Yeah.
Maybe 20 minutes.
I'll knock before I come back in.
All right.
Come on.
Let's get-- No.
We are not doing it with that pervy in the house.
He said we had 20 minutes.
No.
Anyway,I have my book club.
What book club? My book club,and I'm not missing it, because we're doing "eat,pray,love," which is my favorite book of all time because this woman,like,goes on a journey after she's been-- what?"Eat,pray,love.
" Wasn't written by an irish chick.
Otherwise,it'd be called "drink,puke,drink.
" - That's not funny.
- It's funny.
- No,it's not.
- It's pretty funny.
It's a little bit funny.
Come on.
Come on.
We got time.
No,no.
What about the pervy? No,no.
Wait.
Listen.
I want to talk to you about something.
- What.
- No.
I heard about what happened with mike and what you did.
- Splinter lips.
- What is that?What? It happens to everybody.
Room fills up with smoke.
Guy gets panicky because his tank is empty, and I was feeding him off my tank,and in between gulps of air,he was,you know,full of fear, so I had to press his face down below the smoke level,and splinter lips.
Come on.
Promise me-- you got to promise me that damien is gonna get into your house and that you're gonna keep watch over him.
Yeah.
Listen.
When he graduates,ok, he's stuck by my side.
He's stuck to me like glue.
I'm gonna teach him every trick in the book.
He's gonna be fine,but,you know,he's got to do his part now.
He's got to graduate first,and that I can't fix.
- Come on.
- What about pervy? Come on.
Come on.
We had a pact.
Oh,all right.
Pulling it down.
Hi.
Sorry.
Just need to grab a splitter.
Ok.
Is it possible that it would be easier if you just took the whole tool bag thing up there into the area where you're-- Yeah.
That's a good idea,in theory, but most of my actual work is actually done right here,and-- you don't want to hear this right now,do you? Ok.
Ok.
He's gone.
Oh,you want to play around? What? - You stink.
- No,I don'T.
I took a shower before I left the firehouse.
What are you-- Opium.
You smell like opium.
Ok.
That is insane.
You've known me how long? Weed,hash.
I wouldn't know where to even get any-- Janet,you donkey.
Janet.
I got janet stank all over me because you got janet stank all over you, and you want to know why I know? Because that's her perfume.
That's her "scent.
" She's been wearing it since the eighties,since high school She stopped by the fire-- Ok,which shows how out of touch she is with the real world because even the homos who made that scent don't wear it anymore But,see,that's besides the point because,see,the real point is that I asked you to do one single,solitary thing, and that was to not have sex with your wife on the same day that you're having sex with me, and you can't even manage that.
I didn't have sex.
Oh,god.
Sorry.
I-- Just take the stupid thing and go up on the-- No.
You stay.
You go.
You know what?I got another job down the block that I could do right now.
No,no.
No.
I know you guys.
You're not leaving my sight until you hook up my cable.
Beat it.
But I-- could you give us a little privacy for just,like,a second? She ambushed me.
What? Anybody who ambushes you.
There-- there was no penetration.
- What?What did you say? - There was no penetration.
- I think I'm gonna puke.
- What?I'm just explaining.
I'm gonna puke.
You know,it's funny.
I had the same kind of thing happen with my ex for a while, and you know you're not supposed to have sex, but one thing happens after the next,and then I'm gonna go hook up the dish.
Yeah.
Ok.
Ok.
I-- You leave my grapes.
I thought you were gonna fix the thing.
Sorry.
The ecg is great.
Your heart is in really good shape, and all the blood tests came back very good, so I think we're on for later today.
Are you doing a radical nephrectomy? That's right.
Are you taking the adrenal gland,as well? Yeah.
Any lymph nodes? Don't talk to him about my lymph nodes.
I'm sorry.
He's not a doctor.
He's just my brother.
Jesus.
- "Just"? - Yeah,just.
Oh,fine.
I won't say another word.
Fine.
I was just going over the game plan with your surgeon in case he forgot what you were in for and decided to accidentally hack off one of you balls,which happens,by the way.
- It does.
- What? Oh,I'm kidding.
Oh,yeah.
That's-- um,is there anything I should be doing to,you know,prepare? Just relax.
Take it easy.
We're gonna get an I.
V.
Started, and then we're gonna shave you for surgery.
- Oh,can I do that? - Shut up,terrence.
Jesus.
I want to put a design on his back,maybe my initials.
Yeah.
You can put,like,an A.
H.
For "asshole.
" Hey,cancer or not,I'll take you down.
Oh,come on.
Bring it,you douche.
Come on.
Jesus christ,not in the goddamn hospital.
- Sean,leave your brother alone.
- He started it.
Sean,sean,you got to take it easy.
You can't exert yourself before major surgery like this.
Yeah.
What if something happened,you didn't wake up? Is this how you want it to end with your brother,with fighting and anger? What if I don't wake up?Ma! - It happens.
- It does.
What? I'm kidding again.
Oh,my god.
Shake your brother's hand.
We'll go,let you get some rest.
No.
I'm not shaking his hand,ma.
Shake his hand.
Ohh I'm sorry,terrence.
Oh!You're such an asshole.
- Come on,squirt.
- Knock it off.
Have a brother,doctor? - No.
- Then you understand.
So,this isn't some type of over-the-top workout regimen thing? You actually box people? Yeah.
I came in second in the golden gloves last year.
Really? All chicks? Yeah.
I mean,I wouldn't mind taking on a guy.
It's just,you know,the whole macho thing.
It's good for a joke or busting my balls, but talk about actually getting in the ring,and they suddenly vamoose.
Yeah?You know,I wouldn't mind going a couple rounds with you.
- Oh,yeah? - Yeah.
Wouldn't mind boxing,either.
Sorry.
You know,I wouldn't fight you,anyway,dude.
You're too pretty.
I'd mess you up for the rest of the girls.
Please.
Oh,no,no,no,no,no.
You and me get together,baby,there wouldn't be any other girls,ok? Sorry.
Sorry.
Is that a reflex? You only talk in pickup lines? It's more of an affliction,actually.
Well,maybe I ought to buy you a drink,see how that goes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That sounds good.
Ok.
Well,let me just shower,ok? - I'll be right back.
- Sure.
- Don't go anywhere.
- No,no.
I'll be waiting right here.
All right.
Hey,what's up? Hey,how you doing? Good.
Got the dvd? - Oh,yeah.
I got it - Can I grab it? Home movies,gavin family,all the glory - Yeah.
- Plus bootsy.
Plus bootsy.
Come on.
I got it.
Hey,what do you mean? Stick around for the meeting,I'll give you that.
Still wearing the sunglasses,huh? - Sorry? - You don't remember? He doesn't remember.
Couple years ago,meeting uptown, I politely ask you to take the sunglasses off while you're in the meeting,respect the meeting And you come over and shove me over a goddamn cookie table? You know,I do remember that.
It's not funny.
It's not funny I always meant to apologize.
I know it wasn't funny.
What name you going by tonight,by the way-- bobby,ricky,john,ed? Ok,ok.
You want to bust my balls? You know what? Never mind.
I don't give a shit.
Then why did you bring it up? I'm trying to apologize to you for your,you know-- Have a nice meeting,asshole.
Ok.
Some people can't let things go.
I don't want that.
- Believe this guy? - Pathetic.
Psycho.
Yeah.
Come on.
I got to go.
No,no,no.
What are you talking? Where are you going? - You're in such a rush.
- I am in a rush.
- Where are you going,home? - I'm going home eventually.
You're going home eventually? - Yeah.
- You know what I think? I think when you get home,i think you're gonna pop this thing right in - I might.
I might.
- Right in the old dvd player.
You're gonna sit back,pour yourself a nice,big tumbler of whiskey, and then sit down and have yourself a nice,beautiful,long,cleansing cry.
That's the funny thing about drunks,tom.
They think alcohol is the key-- you know,it makes them free, makes them feel,opens them up,lets everything go-- but it ain't the key.
It's the lock.
Who told you? You did just now.
Look.
You want to know the truth?Yeah.
- I'm drinking again.
You know why? - The truth.
Just listen to me.
I can control it.
You want a little headline? I've been drinking for a little while now,and I haven't gotten drunk yet.
Yeah.
Have a couple of drinks at a time,and I enjoy myself.
Is that right? I relax.
I unwind,ok? So,I made my choice.
You make yours.
- Now give me the dvd.
- No.
No meeting,no dvd.
I'm sorry,brother.
- Give me the dvd.
- Don't you touch that.
Don'T.
Want to get started with that? Yeah.
I do.
You're not getting this thing.
Everybody,my speaker for the meeting didn't show up tonight.
Would anybody like to come up and speak? Yeah.
We got a speaker right here.
Great.
Gentleman in the black shirt.
Now you tell them what you just told me.
I'm not doing it.
You don't tell them,I'm not giving it to you.
Go ahead.
There he is.
All right.
Come on up.
Uh,some of you probably know me as al Hi,al.
And some of you probably know me as bobby.
Hi,bobby.
Don't forget about frank.
My real name is tommy Hi,tommy.
And I am not an alcoholic,ok? I actually received my one-year chip about a month ago,and About a week after that, I left it in the bottom of a shot glass in a bar across the street from ground zero.
I'm a fireman,and I was there that day.
I've seen some shit in my job, but that day,I saw some shit that I never expected to see, so I drank more than I usually did.
I drank maybe a little too much,and my marriage went south,and, anyways,my cousin told me about this.
I came.
I started going to these meetings,and--I got to be honest with you-- I expected it to help me.
I had heard about the higher power,and-- I don't know--i guess I expected the sky to open up a little bit and to get some revelations, and it didn't come right away,and I stuck with it,and, you know,my life was very difficult.
I--like I said, trying to get around all the shit in my head-- kept coming here waiting for an epiphany, I guess,and that didn't come,either.
Instead,what I got was a bunch of whining assholes.
That's what I got.
I got my shitty life plus yours,for instance.
I know your story.
I've seen you at enough meetings.
You're the wall street guy,right? You started out as you wanted to be a painter, and your father pushed you into the family business.
You're chasing money around,and that's why you drank and, "oh,i wanted to be a painter.
Oh,blah,blah,blah," right,and I know you because you're the chick that you drank because you couldn't meet a guy that would commit.
Then finally,when you were drinking,you met some guy that you committed.
You got an engagement ring,and then he left you, and so you quit drinking because you thought maybe you were too boozed up, and now you can't meet a guy because you can't go to bars and drink and meet a guy and whatever.
I've heard you often enough,sweetheart.
You're a bitch on wheels,ok?Be honest,as honest as I can be,all right? You people want to bitch about something? Try jumping off the back of a rig,ok, with 65 pounds of air on your back and a couple of tools in your hand staring up at a burning building,ok, and running in when everybody else is running out,ok? Don't give me that look.
Let me tell you something else,ok? You better pray that if your wall street office or your luxury lonely loft that you're always talking about, if it's full of smoke,that there's a guy with balls as big as mine who jumps off a rig and runs in and carries you out, and I'll tell you what.
If I do,if I happen to save your ass or your ass, you know what I'm gonna do afterwards when I get home? I'm gonna have a nice,big,tall,cold glass of vodka or a nice warm tumbler full of whiskey.
That's what I'm gonna have.
You guys got nothing for me? That's what I got for you.
That's my little message.
I'm gonna spend the rest of my time on this particular planet drinking and liking it.
My suggestion to you? Try doing the same.
Bottoms up,folks.
Happy now? Thank you.
Good night,everybody.
Hello? Yeah.
Hey,lou,I need someone to talk to.
- Chief? - Yeah.
Look.
I have some information about one of the guys, and I can't keep it to myself.
- Is it about tommy? - What about tommy? Oh,nothing,no,I mean,unless you heard something, in which case,I can tell you beyond a shadow of a doubt that it ain't true.
Of course.
Nah.
It's about garrity.
- Hey,a sam adams ok? - Yeah.
Excuse me.
Sam adams.
- You got it.
- Thanks.
So,firefighter,huh? That's pretty cool.
Yeah.
It's a job,you know? What do you do for a living? - Mechanic.
- No shit.
My father owned a garage.
I have 4 older brothers.
One is a doctor,gay.
One is in sales,straight.
One is a landscape designer,gay, and one is a choreographer,straight.
A straight choreographer? Mm-hmm,it might be a quota thing.
None of them liked cars, so my old man,he taught me everything he knew.
I run a garage cooperative in queens.
I fix cars for low-income families.
Hey,that's really great.
Yeah,and really grimy.
I got to tinkle.
Don't go anywhere.
No,no,no.
I'm all yours.
All right.
Hey.
So,how long before it starts working? Oh,it won't take long at all.
Ok,and am I gonna feel anything,you know,during? Somebody will be monitoring you during the entire procedure.
Ok.
Great.
# Free yourself from all concern # # Free yourself from care # I'm sorry.
Are you singing? # Let your burdens drift away on the evening air # Oh,this shit is good.
# Give yourself to simple slumber # # all your dreaming unencumbered # # leave every burden # # sleep and rest your weakened body # # weary mind,and weary heart # # close your eyes allow the darkness come # # time now to sleep,sleep sleep,sleep sleep,sleep # # There is only now and then # # everything else is who knows? # # Someday when I don't want to die # # not my time to go # # too much left to try # # too much left to know oh,oh,oh,oh # What are you singing for? You sound gay.
- # Never gave my heart completely # - What a sissy.
Wonder if my mother knows about this.
# Never found the one who could complete me never-- # goddamn it,terrence! I can't even have a dream without you showing up? - Get the hell out of here.
- I'm just saying.
You know what? Get out of here.
Gentlemen,I'm sorry.
Mr.
Garrity is being prepped for surgery.
So,that means we can't see him? Probably not till late tomorrow,if then.
Sorry.
Thank you.
It's funny.
I mean,I got no connection to garrity.
Yeah.
He's one of the guys,but that's about it,kind of a dumbass,too,right? Something like this happens,you know--I don't know-- I just want to protect the guy.
I want to take care of him.
I don't want him to be alone.
Jesus christ,I mean,with cancer,without it, you're just so alone.
You know what I mean? Yeah.
Yeah.
I do.
Mickey Mantle dead of liver cancer at 63 shortly after receiving a liver transplant Well,let me think a little bit.
I would like to say to the kids out there to take a good-- you talk about a role model.
This is a role model.
Don't be like me,you know? I mean, god gave me a body, ability to play baseball, and that's what I wanted to do, give me everything.
I just-- so I want to start giving something back.
Seems to me like all I've done is just take, have fun and take,and I want to start trying to work with baylor hospital and the donor program,stuff like that.
It's unbelievable.
Like I said,I want to spend the rest of my life trying to make up.
I want you to promise That you are never gonna make love to me and her on the same day.
Ok.
- Candy.
- Who's your friend,lou? Oh,just a lovely young lady that blew into my life a couple years ago and took about $26,000 of my money.
Bottom line,tommy,we're just both a couple of drunks.
Yeah,but I'm a higher-ranking drunk than you,so if aa was like an army,I'd be a 5-star general,and you're just a grunt.
You're freaked out.
So,like,where'd you learn how to do all that stuff? Hey,ma,listen.
The doctors think that they can stop the cancer from spreading if they cut out my kidney.
I'm gonna need you to come to new york,ma,and be with me.
So,I think we should just get down and dirty and do all that nasty,filthy,slutty,whorey,skanky,animalistic-- You think I'm a whore? Hey! - Hi.
- Hey.
How the hell are you,pal? Great.
He's drinking again? Like a kennedy on election day.
- That's great.
- Wow,look at that sky.
Let me look at you,kid.
Oh,god,you look great.
- What is that,aqua velva? - No.
I don't wear aqua velva.
Oh,it's me.
- Goddamn it,I smell great.
- Yeah.
Mike,shawn,how you doing,kiddo? Come here,you guys.
We're late.
We got to get going.
Whatever.
He's happy,and the bushmills didn't hurt.
That's right.
I love you.
I'm at the V.
A.
Hospital.
I'm looking after this old vet on his deathbed, and he's still got some stuff he wants to get off his chest, so I bring in his estranged son.
The man needed closure before he died, and I helped facilitate it for him.
I don't know what's more bizarre, the fact that he's drinking again or the fact that you just used the word "facilitate" and you used it correctly.
Oh,I'm using lots of big words,tom-- "facilitate," "revelation.
" The point is,this situation got me thinking about your dad again and how I never got right with him before he passed, so I asked mickey for the dvd,the old home movies, - you know,ones we all watched together.
- Right.
Well,I put it in the machine, and I poured two big bushmills, and then I drank real slow like,and-- get ready for the next surprise--voila.
- You learned a french word.
- No,no,no.
I started bawling my eyes out, and I'm not talking about a few whimpers or sniffles.
I'm talking about a personal goddamn katrina, and then suddenly it happened.
Instead of crying over how much I missed him, I started laughing my ass off for all the great times me and your father had together! --And then from that point on, I was gonna go tell everyone just how much i loved him, - including you,tom.
- Yeah? - I love you.
- Yeah.
No,tom.
I really love you.
I mean it.
I love you the shit out of you.
I do,and I'm glad as hell.
God,I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
Yeah.
Ok.
Ok.
We got to go see eddie.
I got to tell him how much i love him.
- We better stop and get another bottle.
- Let's go,baby.
Ok.
- Jump in.
- # I love everybody # # she loves everybody # # I love everybody # - oh,we love somebody - Hold on,baby.
- See you later.
- Let's go,ellie.
Hit it.
- Was that-- - Oh!Jesus christ.
Teddy had a revelation.
- Revelation,huh? - Yeah.
I used to drink those.
You ever have an epiphany? Oh,no,too much absinthe,endless hangover.
Yeah.
Do me a favor.
Do I have any spit on me? Ok.
See the spot right here? That's the only spot you don't have spit on you.
Put it that way.
- Yeah.
Well, anyways,I don't see your hooker friend Yeah.
- I know,right? - Hanging around anymore.
Could've told you she wouldn't be here on account of she said she wasn't leaving, of course,being the lying bitch that she is.
Yeah.
Well,good riddance,right Yeah.
Tell me about it.
Because,you know,it's just a better thing for you.
What do you mean by that? Let's face the facts,ok? Inside the bitter,old,crusty outer shell of you, inside is a soft,creamy,little chocolate ice cream center Here's the goo speech.
And I know and you know if she starts leaning on you, you're gonna fold like a card table,ok, - and I want to remind you of one thing.
- It's not gonna happen,tom.
- You live in a one-bedroom apartment.
- Those days are gone and buried,my friend, dead and buried,so why don't you put your finger down and go inside,ok? - Ok.
Finger is down.
- Yes.
- Go inside.
- Going inside.
Card table.
Proudly Presents Season 5 Episode 11 - yeah? - Hi.
It's me.
What are you doing? I'm flying a kite out of my ass.
What do you think I'm doing? Ach,don't say that.
Now every time I look at your ass,I'm gonna think about ben franklin coming out of it.
Yeah,yeah,yeah.
What's up?I got to go.
I'm sorry.
My house,6:30,sex.
We had sex yesterday.
- So?We don't have,like,a set schedule for sex.
- Oh,really? We have sex when we feel like having sex.
- Right,right,right,when you feel like it,right? - Looks like it,buddy.
Now,be here at 6:30 because i got the cable guy coming at 6:00 to do the satellite dish and then I got my book thing at 7:00, which means I got to leave here at 6:45, and make sure that you eat something before you come or after you leave because I ain't cooking for you.
All right,so I'm not even getting a sandwich out of it, and I got,what,like 15 minutes to do the deed? For you,that's more than enough time.
Ha!That's funny.
I got to go.
Got another call.
- Hello? - I need to talk to you.
Hey,coll,what's up? Where are you? What's the deal?You can't come into the firehouse now? He's there.
If I saw him again,I can't say what I'd do.
I'd probably cut off his penis and shove it down his throat.
You know,it just seems like it was just yesterday your mother and I were at the first communion taking pictures of you in your little white dress, and we're already talking about stuffing penises down people's throats.
Where does the time go? Has he said anything about me? Ok.
You know what? You got to just let go of that stuff.
He called me a whore.
He--he called you a whore?Wh-why did he-- where does he get off calling you a whore? You know what? Nobody calls my daughter a whore.
I'm gonna take care of this right now.
- Daddy,don'T.
- Why? I'm just kidding.
Go ahead.
Shawn,could you shut up,please? - Shawn! - What?What? Chill out with the singing,man.
I'm trying to shave.
You're making my ears bleed.
I keep thinking I'm cutting myself.
you know what? You're just jealous.
Yeah.
Oh,shit! Hey,hey,hey,hey! Tommy,what are you doing? Are you crazy? You don't turn a goddamn hose on a black man.
- Yeah? - Yeah,yeah.
Did you see the footage from birmingham? See the footage? I was there,ok? Ok,ok.
Oh--aah! No,no,no.
Tom,stop!Stop! - Now - What are you doing? Did you call my daughter a whore? No.
I didn't call her a whore.
- So,my daughter is a liar.
- No,no.
I said she did some whorish things.
Oh,oh,oh.
Of course.
Thanks.
No! Stop!Stop,ok? Ok,ok,ok.
Listen.
Now come on.
You know I love her.
Y-- Yeah.
I do.
It's just that she did all this stuff,man.
Like what stuff? Like this thing with her fingernails where she would drag them across my parts.
What are you,new? Nice girls,all kinds of nice girls,use their fingernails.
It's regular action.
- But the biting,tommy,the biting.
- So? She said she learned it from her mother,so-- So now you're calling my wife a whore.
No,no,no,no,tommy! I would never,tommy.
God,tommy,no.
I'm not calling your wife a whore.
Are you kidding me? No.
It's just that she said she learned different things from different people,ok, like her mother,the musician,and this tattoo artist Scumbag.
Yeah? Like the ass stuff.
I'm sorry.
Wh-what? The ass stuff.
Come on.
Don't make me go through some long,drawn out explanation about the ass stuff.
She did stuff to-- My ass, peanut butter and all.
- What? - Chunky.
Holy shit.
It's a private conversation.
I don't let anybody touch my ass.
Anymore.
Freaking unbelievable.
What is wrong with tommy? - I don't know,man.
- Are you all right? No,man.
I'm not ok.
I think you got a little peanut butter on your ass.
Hey--aw,shit,franco.
Stop it,franco.
You're all wrong for that shit.
Jesus christ.
- You're kidding.
- No.
I wish.
But you're a young guy.
- Is there any history of it? - No,no.
I mean,I just found out my mother had breast cancer,but I don't think that had anything to do with it.
So,no idea? No.
I'm sure it's ground zero-related.
That's what my doctors think.
- Oh,you poor son of a bitch.
- Yeah.
I can't even eat my doughnut now.
I'm actually on the way to the hospital.
they-- took a chest x-ray yesterday,checked my heart and everything,and it looks good,so I may go under the knife tonight.
- Tonight? - Yeah.
- Oh,sean,I'm so sorry.
- Yeah.
No.
It's good.
I'm trying to be positive,you know,be upbeat about it.
I mean,you can function fully on one kidney--that's what the doctors say-- so it's really not that much to worry about,i don't think.
Yeah.
- It's cancer.
- Yeah.
It's-- Cancer.
I've had so many relatives,you know, the doctor said they'd be fine,you know,after surgery, chemo,gone, overnight some of them.
- Really? - Yeah.
That's too bad.
Well,I hadn't really, had a chance to talk to the guys yet,so I was-- I didn't want them to worry,you know? Yeah,and you don't want them to think that,you know,you can't do the job Yeah.
You know,in the event that you survive.
Yeah.
It's-- anyway,looks like I'm gonna be about two weeks in the hospital and then probably another two weeks at home in recovery and whatnot,so if it's cool with you,I was kind of hoping you could cover for me, in terms of the department,you know,make something up.
You don't worry about a thing,all right? You broke your hand.
I'll get you a month,6 weeks,whatever you need.
Thank you.
It's really important that they don't know what's actually going on here.
I mean,I wouldn't even be able to get a desk job if they found out.
I'd be out of the department for sure,all right? - Look at me.
- Ok.
You worry about nothing,all right? I'm gonna call the brass as soon as we get back to the house.
- Put this out of your mind.
- Great.
Thanks.
Nice day.
It's a little cool.
Not so cool indoors.
Firehouse nice and warm.
You hungry? - Yeah.
- Not me.
You know why?Because I'm eating this big sandwich.
It's got everything in here.
- I know what you're doing.
- What am I doing? I'm eating.
I'm drinking.
I'm enjoying this beautiful unseasonably cool weather with temperatures that are supposed to drop to the low to mid 50s tonight.
Look.
I know you,ken.
You won't turn me away,not when I need you.
You're a good person.
No.
No.
I was a good person until certain bad people, present company definitely included, convinced me that good people are dupes.
Good people are chickens waiting to be plucked.
They're low to the ground, that much easier to be stepped on and stolen from and broken, so,no,you don't know me.
You don't know me.
I'm changed,ken.
I keep my word, and when I say I'm not leaving,I mean it, and no matter what you say or how you act, you still care about me.
All right.
Enough of this goddamn bullshit.
I've got a goddamn firehouse full of men over there,my chief included, who keep on asking me what the hell is up with that crazy bitch across the street who wants to talk to me,and i don't have a goddamn answer, so you want to talk to me,leave me a goddamn number but just don't get me kicked off the job on top of everything else.
Please use it.
It's important.
Take a goddamn walk.
Please? Never.
I mean,the fingernail rake,the tongue flick,the biting-- check,check,check.
I never mentioned anything about the ass.
You? No.
I'd never say-- only thing I know about asses is,you know,I like yours.
That's nice.
Honey,I'm telling you,this is not funny.
This kid was traumatized.
You should've seen him.
- What,by colleen? - Well,by coll-- the fire hose from the shower probably had a little bit to do with it,yeah,but mostly by-- What,you turned a hose on a black man? Honey,it's-- pfft,a black man.
He's not,like,a black man from the sixties.
This kid is 26 years old.
I mean,as far as he's concerned,the only thing he knows about civil rights-- I mean, he probably actually thinks the guy's real name is martin luther king-day,you know? What are you--what? Ah,you look sexy in those bunker pants.
- I know,honey.
- Let's get you out of them.
We're not gonna have sex in the-- seriously,what do you want,your purse? What are you reaching-- well,a hand job is ok.
I guess it's not like we live here.
Oh,yeah.
Ok.
Where you going? Honey,where you going? Honey? What-- Ok.
Yeah.
Do you hear something? Nope.
Oh,baby,that's just-- - Oh,god,I needed this.
- I guess so.
Yeah.
Oh,ho ho ho! Oh,yeah.
Oh-- Think I definitely-- I think-- I am so sorry to interrupt.
Just a little department business.
Hi,janet.
Wait here,honey.
Tom,would you be available to join us for one of our little fire thingies? We need all the help we can get.
- Yeah.
- Excellent.
Bye,jan.
I'll call you later,honey.
Look.
She came by because she wanted to talk about our daughter.
I mean,you know,franco,back me up.
She comes to talk to me.
It wasn't like I planned-- No,no.
You know what we got into?We started talking about colleen, - and next thing I know,she's pawing-- - Please,please.
I'm basking in this moment,this glorious moment.
For all I know,for the next 10 years, I've got you by the balls.
Mint? No,thank you.
Franco? I don't mind if I do.
Life is good.
All right,man.
Catch you later.
Somebody is tearing that bag to shit,huh? Wouldn't want to be in the ring with that monster.
Madre mia.
What do you want the dvd for? The kids miss their grandpa,you know,especially katy.
She was asking about it.
You know what?I'll just swing by and pick it up.
It's no big thing.
I mean,you know-- Sure,you can pick it up.
I'll be at the meeting tonight on spring,10:00.
I don't have time to come to the meeting.
Well,no meeting,no dvd.
Mick,come on.
Hey,them's the rules,cuz.
Take it or leave it.
Taking it,always taking it.
Asshole.
- Hello? - Hi.
Hey,oh,wow.
Hey,I like the place.
I know,right? I'll be right out.
Yeah.
I know you're pressed for time,so-- this is nice.
I like it.
It's more intimate.
Where's the--oh.
Anyways,I know this neighborhood.
It's a great neighborhood.
Come on.
Let's get rolling.
I tell you something right now.
You get your little brown ass out here.
I am gonna take it to town,my dear,little,sweet,hot minx.
Mm,I tell you something.
I am so horny-- Hi.
I'm don.
I'm putting the satellite dish in.
I had a cat once named minx - Oh,yeah? - When I was a kid.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Oh,so you guys have met.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
I got to check the roof for the exterior cables.
Nice meeting you.
How long,ballpark,you think that's gonna take you? - The roof? - Yeah.
Maybe 20 minutes.
I'll knock before I come back in.
All right.
Come on.
Let's get-- No.
We are not doing it with that pervy in the house.
He said we had 20 minutes.
No.
Anyway,I have my book club.
What book club? My book club,and I'm not missing it, because we're doing "eat,pray,love," which is my favorite book of all time because this woman,like,goes on a journey after she's been-- what?"Eat,pray,love.
" Wasn't written by an irish chick.
Otherwise,it'd be called "drink,puke,drink.
" - That's not funny.
- It's funny.
- No,it's not.
- It's pretty funny.
It's a little bit funny.
Come on.
Come on.
We got time.
No,no.
What about the pervy? No,no.
Wait.
Listen.
I want to talk to you about something.
- What.
- No.
I heard about what happened with mike and what you did.
- Splinter lips.
- What is that?What? It happens to everybody.
Room fills up with smoke.
Guy gets panicky because his tank is empty, and I was feeding him off my tank,and in between gulps of air,he was,you know,full of fear, so I had to press his face down below the smoke level,and splinter lips.
Come on.
Promise me-- you got to promise me that damien is gonna get into your house and that you're gonna keep watch over him.
Yeah.
Listen.
When he graduates,ok, he's stuck by my side.
He's stuck to me like glue.
I'm gonna teach him every trick in the book.
He's gonna be fine,but,you know,he's got to do his part now.
He's got to graduate first,and that I can't fix.
- Come on.
- What about pervy? Come on.
Come on.
We had a pact.
Oh,all right.
Pulling it down.
Hi.
Sorry.
Just need to grab a splitter.
Ok.
Is it possible that it would be easier if you just took the whole tool bag thing up there into the area where you're-- Yeah.
That's a good idea,in theory, but most of my actual work is actually done right here,and-- you don't want to hear this right now,do you? Ok.
Ok.
He's gone.
Oh,you want to play around? What? - You stink.
- No,I don'T.
I took a shower before I left the firehouse.
What are you-- Opium.
You smell like opium.
Ok.
That is insane.
You've known me how long? Weed,hash.
I wouldn't know where to even get any-- Janet,you donkey.
Janet.
I got janet stank all over me because you got janet stank all over you, and you want to know why I know? Because that's her perfume.
That's her "scent.
" She's been wearing it since the eighties,since high school She stopped by the fire-- Ok,which shows how out of touch she is with the real world because even the homos who made that scent don't wear it anymore But,see,that's besides the point because,see,the real point is that I asked you to do one single,solitary thing, and that was to not have sex with your wife on the same day that you're having sex with me, and you can't even manage that.
I didn't have sex.
Oh,god.
Sorry.
I-- Just take the stupid thing and go up on the-- No.
You stay.
You go.
You know what?I got another job down the block that I could do right now.
No,no.
No.
I know you guys.
You're not leaving my sight until you hook up my cable.
Beat it.
But I-- could you give us a little privacy for just,like,a second? She ambushed me.
What? Anybody who ambushes you.
There-- there was no penetration.
- What?What did you say? - There was no penetration.
- I think I'm gonna puke.
- What?I'm just explaining.
I'm gonna puke.
You know,it's funny.
I had the same kind of thing happen with my ex for a while, and you know you're not supposed to have sex, but one thing happens after the next,and then I'm gonna go hook up the dish.
Yeah.
Ok.
Ok.
I-- You leave my grapes.
I thought you were gonna fix the thing.
Sorry.
The ecg is great.
Your heart is in really good shape, and all the blood tests came back very good, so I think we're on for later today.
Are you doing a radical nephrectomy? That's right.
Are you taking the adrenal gland,as well? Yeah.
Any lymph nodes? Don't talk to him about my lymph nodes.
I'm sorry.
He's not a doctor.
He's just my brother.
Jesus.
- "Just"? - Yeah,just.
Oh,fine.
I won't say another word.
Fine.
I was just going over the game plan with your surgeon in case he forgot what you were in for and decided to accidentally hack off one of you balls,which happens,by the way.
- It does.
- What? Oh,I'm kidding.
Oh,yeah.
That's-- um,is there anything I should be doing to,you know,prepare? Just relax.
Take it easy.
We're gonna get an I.
V.
Started, and then we're gonna shave you for surgery.
- Oh,can I do that? - Shut up,terrence.
Jesus.
I want to put a design on his back,maybe my initials.
Yeah.
You can put,like,an A.
H.
For "asshole.
" Hey,cancer or not,I'll take you down.
Oh,come on.
Bring it,you douche.
Come on.
Jesus christ,not in the goddamn hospital.
- Sean,leave your brother alone.
- He started it.
Sean,sean,you got to take it easy.
You can't exert yourself before major surgery like this.
Yeah.
What if something happened,you didn't wake up? Is this how you want it to end with your brother,with fighting and anger? What if I don't wake up?Ma! - It happens.
- It does.
What? I'm kidding again.
Oh,my god.
Shake your brother's hand.
We'll go,let you get some rest.
No.
I'm not shaking his hand,ma.
Shake his hand.
Ohh I'm sorry,terrence.
Oh!You're such an asshole.
- Come on,squirt.
- Knock it off.
Have a brother,doctor? - No.
- Then you understand.
So,this isn't some type of over-the-top workout regimen thing? You actually box people? Yeah.
I came in second in the golden gloves last year.
Really? All chicks? Yeah.
I mean,I wouldn't mind taking on a guy.
It's just,you know,the whole macho thing.
It's good for a joke or busting my balls, but talk about actually getting in the ring,and they suddenly vamoose.
Yeah?You know,I wouldn't mind going a couple rounds with you.
- Oh,yeah? - Yeah.
Wouldn't mind boxing,either.
Sorry.
You know,I wouldn't fight you,anyway,dude.
You're too pretty.
I'd mess you up for the rest of the girls.
Please.
Oh,no,no,no,no,no.
You and me get together,baby,there wouldn't be any other girls,ok? Sorry.
Sorry.
Is that a reflex? You only talk in pickup lines? It's more of an affliction,actually.
Well,maybe I ought to buy you a drink,see how that goes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That sounds good.
Ok.
Well,let me just shower,ok? - I'll be right back.
- Sure.
- Don't go anywhere.
- No,no.
I'll be waiting right here.
All right.
Hey,what's up? Hey,how you doing? Good.
Got the dvd? - Oh,yeah.
I got it - Can I grab it? Home movies,gavin family,all the glory - Yeah.
- Plus bootsy.
Plus bootsy.
Come on.
I got it.
Hey,what do you mean? Stick around for the meeting,I'll give you that.
Still wearing the sunglasses,huh? - Sorry? - You don't remember? He doesn't remember.
Couple years ago,meeting uptown, I politely ask you to take the sunglasses off while you're in the meeting,respect the meeting And you come over and shove me over a goddamn cookie table? You know,I do remember that.
It's not funny.
It's not funny I always meant to apologize.
I know it wasn't funny.
What name you going by tonight,by the way-- bobby,ricky,john,ed? Ok,ok.
You want to bust my balls? You know what? Never mind.
I don't give a shit.
Then why did you bring it up? I'm trying to apologize to you for your,you know-- Have a nice meeting,asshole.
Ok.
Some people can't let things go.
I don't want that.
- Believe this guy? - Pathetic.
Psycho.
Yeah.
Come on.
I got to go.
No,no,no.
What are you talking? Where are you going? - You're in such a rush.
- I am in a rush.
- Where are you going,home? - I'm going home eventually.
You're going home eventually? - Yeah.
- You know what I think? I think when you get home,i think you're gonna pop this thing right in - I might.
I might.
- Right in the old dvd player.
You're gonna sit back,pour yourself a nice,big tumbler of whiskey, and then sit down and have yourself a nice,beautiful,long,cleansing cry.
That's the funny thing about drunks,tom.
They think alcohol is the key-- you know,it makes them free, makes them feel,opens them up,lets everything go-- but it ain't the key.
It's the lock.
Who told you? You did just now.
Look.
You want to know the truth?Yeah.
- I'm drinking again.
You know why? - The truth.
Just listen to me.
I can control it.
You want a little headline? I've been drinking for a little while now,and I haven't gotten drunk yet.
Yeah.
Have a couple of drinks at a time,and I enjoy myself.
Is that right? I relax.
I unwind,ok? So,I made my choice.
You make yours.
- Now give me the dvd.
- No.
No meeting,no dvd.
I'm sorry,brother.
- Give me the dvd.
- Don't you touch that.
Don'T.
Want to get started with that? Yeah.
I do.
You're not getting this thing.
Everybody,my speaker for the meeting didn't show up tonight.
Would anybody like to come up and speak? Yeah.
We got a speaker right here.
Great.
Gentleman in the black shirt.
Now you tell them what you just told me.
I'm not doing it.
You don't tell them,I'm not giving it to you.
Go ahead.
There he is.
All right.
Come on up.
Uh,some of you probably know me as al Hi,al.
And some of you probably know me as bobby.
Hi,bobby.
Don't forget about frank.
My real name is tommy Hi,tommy.
And I am not an alcoholic,ok? I actually received my one-year chip about a month ago,and About a week after that, I left it in the bottom of a shot glass in a bar across the street from ground zero.
I'm a fireman,and I was there that day.
I've seen some shit in my job, but that day,I saw some shit that I never expected to see, so I drank more than I usually did.
I drank maybe a little too much,and my marriage went south,and, anyways,my cousin told me about this.
I came.
I started going to these meetings,and--I got to be honest with you-- I expected it to help me.
I had heard about the higher power,and-- I don't know--i guess I expected the sky to open up a little bit and to get some revelations, and it didn't come right away,and I stuck with it,and, you know,my life was very difficult.
I--like I said, trying to get around all the shit in my head-- kept coming here waiting for an epiphany, I guess,and that didn't come,either.
Instead,what I got was a bunch of whining assholes.
That's what I got.
I got my shitty life plus yours,for instance.
I know your story.
I've seen you at enough meetings.
You're the wall street guy,right? You started out as you wanted to be a painter, and your father pushed you into the family business.
You're chasing money around,and that's why you drank and, "oh,i wanted to be a painter.
Oh,blah,blah,blah," right,and I know you because you're the chick that you drank because you couldn't meet a guy that would commit.
Then finally,when you were drinking,you met some guy that you committed.
You got an engagement ring,and then he left you, and so you quit drinking because you thought maybe you were too boozed up, and now you can't meet a guy because you can't go to bars and drink and meet a guy and whatever.
I've heard you often enough,sweetheart.
You're a bitch on wheels,ok?Be honest,as honest as I can be,all right? You people want to bitch about something? Try jumping off the back of a rig,ok, with 65 pounds of air on your back and a couple of tools in your hand staring up at a burning building,ok, and running in when everybody else is running out,ok? Don't give me that look.
Let me tell you something else,ok? You better pray that if your wall street office or your luxury lonely loft that you're always talking about, if it's full of smoke,that there's a guy with balls as big as mine who jumps off a rig and runs in and carries you out, and I'll tell you what.
If I do,if I happen to save your ass or your ass, you know what I'm gonna do afterwards when I get home? I'm gonna have a nice,big,tall,cold glass of vodka or a nice warm tumbler full of whiskey.
That's what I'm gonna have.
You guys got nothing for me? That's what I got for you.
That's my little message.
I'm gonna spend the rest of my time on this particular planet drinking and liking it.
My suggestion to you? Try doing the same.
Bottoms up,folks.
Happy now? Thank you.
Good night,everybody.
Hello? Yeah.
Hey,lou,I need someone to talk to.
- Chief? - Yeah.
Look.
I have some information about one of the guys, and I can't keep it to myself.
- Is it about tommy? - What about tommy? Oh,nothing,no,I mean,unless you heard something, in which case,I can tell you beyond a shadow of a doubt that it ain't true.
Of course.
Nah.
It's about garrity.
- Hey,a sam adams ok? - Yeah.
Excuse me.
Sam adams.
- You got it.
- Thanks.
So,firefighter,huh? That's pretty cool.
Yeah.
It's a job,you know? What do you do for a living? - Mechanic.
- No shit.
My father owned a garage.
I have 4 older brothers.
One is a doctor,gay.
One is in sales,straight.
One is a landscape designer,gay, and one is a choreographer,straight.
A straight choreographer? Mm-hmm,it might be a quota thing.
None of them liked cars, so my old man,he taught me everything he knew.
I run a garage cooperative in queens.
I fix cars for low-income families.
Hey,that's really great.
Yeah,and really grimy.
I got to tinkle.
Don't go anywhere.
No,no,no.
I'm all yours.
All right.
Hey.
So,how long before it starts working? Oh,it won't take long at all.
Ok,and am I gonna feel anything,you know,during? Somebody will be monitoring you during the entire procedure.
Ok.
Great.
# Free yourself from all concern # # Free yourself from care # I'm sorry.
Are you singing? # Let your burdens drift away on the evening air # Oh,this shit is good.
# Give yourself to simple slumber # # all your dreaming unencumbered # # leave every burden # # sleep and rest your weakened body # # weary mind,and weary heart # # close your eyes allow the darkness come # # time now to sleep,sleep sleep,sleep sleep,sleep # # There is only now and then # # everything else is who knows? # # Someday when I don't want to die # # not my time to go # # too much left to try # # too much left to know oh,oh,oh,oh # What are you singing for? You sound gay.
- # Never gave my heart completely # - What a sissy.
Wonder if my mother knows about this.
# Never found the one who could complete me never-- # goddamn it,terrence! I can't even have a dream without you showing up? - Get the hell out of here.
- I'm just saying.
You know what? Get out of here.
Gentlemen,I'm sorry.
Mr.
Garrity is being prepped for surgery.
So,that means we can't see him? Probably not till late tomorrow,if then.
Sorry.
Thank you.
It's funny.
I mean,I got no connection to garrity.
Yeah.
He's one of the guys,but that's about it,kind of a dumbass,too,right? Something like this happens,you know--I don't know-- I just want to protect the guy.
I want to take care of him.
I don't want him to be alone.
Jesus christ,I mean,with cancer,without it, you're just so alone.
You know what I mean? Yeah.
Yeah.
I do.
Mickey Mantle dead of liver cancer at 63 shortly after receiving a liver transplant Well,let me think a little bit.
I would like to say to the kids out there to take a good-- you talk about a role model.
This is a role model.
Don't be like me,you know? I mean, god gave me a body, ability to play baseball, and that's what I wanted to do, give me everything.
I just-- so I want to start giving something back.
Seems to me like all I've done is just take, have fun and take,and I want to start trying to work with baylor hospital and the donor program,stuff like that.
It's unbelievable.
Like I said,I want to spend the rest of my life trying to make up.