Station 19 (2018) s05e11 Episode Script
The Little Things You Do Together
Klaatu: Gort, berenga.
Those are what our turnouts should look like.
Silver space suits.
They'd strike fear into the heart of everyone around.
Vic: Looks like Sullivan.
It does.
Um, I'm gonna go make some popcorn.
Thank you.
- Yeah.
- Nice! Right.
Okay, so, look Are you I know we've talked about this already, but are you sure you don't want me to come with you Oh, God tomorrow for the pill and just kind of all of it? - Think about it.
Think about it.
- Mm-hmm.
I'd probably make the world's best abortion doula.
See? See? Who other than the world's best abortion doula would know that you need a dark joke right now? Thank you.
And I agree.
I think you'd be the absolute best person in the world for this, but, um, I just Okay, then I'll call out for tomorrow then.
No.
I love you.
I just I think this is probably something that Theo and I need to do Yeah.
Theo accused me of avoiding my own messed up relationship by getting too involved in yours.
I have no idea what he could possibly mean.
Do you think I have not noticed that you can't - You can't stand to be alone with him? - Shh.
I'm I haven't talked to you about it because you haven't said anything about it, so I figured you weren't ready or whatever.
Okay, I haven't talked to you about it because you've kind of had a lot going on, or you would have said something because you're not the "wait till I'm ready" kind of friend.
Well, that's true, so do you want to talk about it now? - No, thank you.
- We can.
Call me tomorrow if you need me.
I love you.
Okay.
I mean, it was the ordering in Spanish, - heavy on that Castilian accent, but - Well, I It's a Spanish restaurant.
I'll give it a 7 out of 10.
Get out of here! Seven? - Seven.
- Seven? Seven.
Boquerones.
Gazpacho.
Gazpacho! That's how you say it.
I am glad that we finally did this, though.
Oh, you know, technically, we've done this before.
Mm.
That's when we were actually doing this.
How do you define "this"? You didn't want to define it.
No, no.
I-I-I thought about you for years, okay? Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Do you think the only reason why things were easy when we were together is because we were in an actual war? No.
No.
I think we're just good together.
- Hmm.
Oh, damn it.
- Okay.
Sorry.
No, no, no, it's not you.
Just Beckett.
- What? - Beckett.
Oh, wow, fancy running into you two together.
Hey.
Well, I'm sitting down with leadership across the department.
Yeah? Looking forward.
I'm sure someone from my office will be reaching out.
Wow, that's quite a haul.
Oh, yeah, otherwise, I'd just have to come here every day.
You know.
I'm kidding, Chief.
I'm gonna go home, drown my sorrows, and look forward to your phone call.
Night-night.
That wasn't good.
No, it wasn't.
He's a Danish expat, so generations of great healthcare.
He is "Type A in the best way.
" He rows crew, and he's an award-winning archer.
Uh, and mine Mine is literally a genius.
The guy is Mensa.
And look.
His baby picture looks like Andrea.
You get to carry, and it's gonna be your egg.
Shouldn't I get to win this one? Wait, do you wanna be Do you wanna be the one that carries? No.
I am not saying that.
I'm just saying I don't know what I'm saying.
You know, I just like my pick better.
Besides, there's no guarantee that it'll be a genius - if we go with yours.
- Exactly.
So, what does it actually matter which of the two we pick? Well, if it doesn't matter why don't we just go with mine? Are we back to step one? No.
No.
No.
We're not.
We're not.
But I am late for shift, and so are you.
So we will talk about this later.
I love you.
Thanks for the coffee.
Pleasure.
- What? - Just wanted to let you know, I had my final session with Diane yesterday, so I should be good to go on calls now.
When Diane calls and tells me that, you will be.
And, uh, I also want to say thank you, Captain, for not writing me up about the sutures.
I understand now that it was wrong.
Do I seem like a guidance counselor in an after-school special, Warren? I don't need your lip service.
Just fix it and be better.
Trouble only becomes bigger trouble if you don't face it, so don't let this little slip up define the rest of your career, or the end of it.
- Appreciate it, sir.
- Mm-hmm.
Captain.
Herrera.
Nice to have you on shift.
Not gonna have trouble keeping you in line like I do former Captains Bishop and Sullivan, am I? No, sir.
I'm a team player.
Good.
I know that Hughes appreciates you subbing for her.
Cap Sean? Never mind.
I'll I'll see you at lineup.
Hey.
What are you doing? Well, that's a nice way to greet a friend.
Uh, I'm subbing for Hughes as a favor.
No, no, I mean, what are you doing in there? I told you that in confidence.
Yeah, well, that was your second mistake.
Well, at least he's not a grieving coworker - with a boyfriend.
- Shut up.
How do you Nobody knows that.
- How do you know that? - Hughes told me, so I'll shut up about yours if you shut up about mine.
Well, I'm not really sure what one talks about when they're waiting for their abortion to show up.
Hi.
Sorry I'm late.
It's okay.
So, um, I'm gonna have to do a vaginal ultrasound - one last time.
- Okay.
Uh, fine, but, uh, no thank you on seeing it.
- Of course.
- Yeah.
And volume off.
- Okay.
- All set.
Thanks.
Okay.
Are you ready? Yeah.
You're showtuning? Okay.
We're all set.
Okay.
Any chance you were super wrong and there's nothing in there? You're officially at five and a half weeks.
What I'm gonna give you now is mifepristone.
What this does is stop any growth in the pregnancy immediately.
And because of your recent medical adventure I would like for you to hang out here for one hour.
I want to check your blood pressure before you go home.
- Okay? - Okay.
- Here.
- Thanks.
Also, page me if you feel sick at all.
If you vomit, you risk to lose the medication before it takes effect.
Well, we wouldn't want that, so I'll take that.
- Mm.
- Thanks.
I'll be back in a bit.
So, what wine do you think pairs best with an abortion? I'm thinking, like, earthy red, right? It's gotta be.
Vic.
Stop.
Hey.
It's just us.
Okay? You don't have to do your jokey thing.
Okay, well, my jokey thing is who I am, so if you want - you can go.
- No.
No.
I'm I'm good.
Okay.
- Hey.
- Carina: Hey.
- How are you feeling? - Terrific.
Yeah, great.
Good.
As long as everything looks good, I'm gonna give you the second sequence of pills.
Misoprostol.
It's four tablets that you will take in a few hours when you're home.
You know the buccal method? Uh, the thing where I let it melt in my cheek for half an hour? - Exactly.
- Yeah.
It will cause your uterus to contract and shed its lining and any contents.
Okay.
It will last a day or two, and it's similar to a heavy period.
Do you have any questions? Uh, no.
No.
I'm I'm good.
Okay.
Everything looks good.
If anything feels off, and I mean anything, you can call me.
Okay? You have my number? Yes.
Promise.
Promise.
I'll make sure she does.
Yeah.
Okay.
Thanks, Doc.
That was kinda anticlimactic.
Um it seems like it's just gonna be a lot of sitting around from here on out, so you you should probably just go home.
Theo: No, I'm gonna I'm gonna sit around with you.
Seriously, I'll I'll be fine.
She said it's just like a heavy period.
Yeah, I know what she said, but Well, I've been doing some reading, and Oh, okay.
So, you and your penis are gonna tell me and my OB how a medical abortion works? That's Um I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
That was reflex snark.
I just meant, if you you don't have to Yeah, well, I'm telling you, for the 10th time, I want to.
Thanks.
- Warren.
Hey.
- We lost one truck this year.
Can we maybe be nice to this one? Now even the most menial parts of my job are up for discussion.
I thought you had your your Diane time.
Shouldn't your head be fixed? Those sessions were a waste of a perfectly qualified firefighter.
Yeah, if you're this angry still, they were.
Okay, look, I don't need help, alright? I didn't need help.
I-I'm not repressing anger, I'm not transferring grief, and I'm not doing things out of guilt.
Yet you're yelling at work and at your lieutenant.
Warren, I'm not trying to pull rank.
I'm just saying that something's still up.
Okay, everyone in this building is a mess, but I'm the only one in trouble.
I'm j Hey.
I thought he was talking to Diane.
Yeah, well, I guess it didn't quite take.
Hey, um, you seen, uh, Beckett? No, not since this morning's lineup.
- I get it.
- Our gym is way better than 23's.
Still feels weird having you here as a sub.
Yeah, tell me about it.
I still think if we hadn't stormed McCallister's office, you might actually be captain of 19 by now.
So, we're down to two in the donor search.
Oh.
Yay.
Not yay? I hate her final pick, and she hates mine.
Okay.
Not "hate" in either case, but why can't it just be my pick? 'Cause it's not just your baby.
Exactly! And it's not just hers.
I mean, she's carrying and it's gonna be her egg, and now she wants to use donor sperm from a guy who looks just like her brother.
I mean, this baby is gonna be 100% DeLuca and zero Bishop.
Do you want to use your egg? No.
And I don't particularly want to be a pregnant person right now, either, but I just wish it had both of us, not just her and some rando.
Wait.
Do you really think I'd be captain by now? I mean, yeah.
If I had promoted to Battalion Chief like I was on track to, you were next in line.
Well, technically, Bishop, you jumped her in line.
I'm gonna shut up now.
Dispatch: Crisis One to 2046 Center Street.
- That's me.
- Me, too.
Hey, hope you find your sperm.
Theo: Okay.
So, I got three kinds of chocolates, - beef jerky, uh - Thank you.
nacho cheese and ranch, and Mmm! I thought you were gonna wait for me to get back.
Okay, well, it's been four hours, so I didn't.
Seriously? You're gonna be mad at me because I didn't wait for you to take a pill? You know, you have seen me do it already today.
Alright, it's not just a pill.
It's a very specific You know, why don't you want me in your life? You keep finding ways to, you know, whittle me down and shut me out, and, uh, I mean, damn, I'm in this relationship, too.
What relationship? 'Cause if I hadn't found out I was pregnant, we wouldn't have spoken to each other in almost two weeks.
- I don't - Yeah, that's because you just decided you were done with me.
Theo, I didn't decide anything.
I told you about about Gibson, and then you walked away.
- Wha - I didn't walk away.
You pushed me.
Okay.
Well, I guess it didn't take much.
- So, I don't know what - Wow.
Wow.
Okay.
You know, you can rewrite that story all you want, but the fact is, you did everything you could to make sure you were alone.
And now all I'm trying to do is be there for you through this, despite my own feelings, because that's what you do when you love someone.
- What - And you won't even let me do that.
What are your own feelings? Doesn't matter, apparently.
No, it does it does matter.
It does matter, because I would like to know, - what are your feelings? - No.
No, you wouldn't.
Because if you did, you would have already asked.
God.
Go away! I'm fine.
This is my house.
Okay.
I understand that, sir, but a neighbor called and said you were pacing and yelling on the lawn.
I was, but I'm not now.
I'm in my car, at my house.
Is that a crime? We're not cops.
What are you, EMTs? Firefighters? I'm not hurt, and there's no fire.
You wanna tell me why you're upset? Not particularly.
- Please leave.
- This is between me and my wife.
Your wife? Is she home? Far as I know.
Hey.
How about we give her a call? Together? Please? Thank you.
Susan: Harry, enough of this.
For God sake, I'm at work.
The neighbors are texting, saying you're causing a scene and j No.
Hey.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Harry! Harry, wait! Don't do that! Don't do that, Harry! Harry, don't do that! Harry! Harry! Open this door, Harry! Do not try any of those theatrics or I will light The guy ready to set himself on fire is calling out theatrics.
I see the irony.
I said go away! Step back! Okay.
Hey.
Harry.
Harry, if you open the door, we can keep talking and you won't pass out from the fumes, okay? I'll open the window.
Are those power windows? Wait.
Because you can't turn the car on if you have a puddle of gasoline at your feet, okay? Just open the door, Harry.
Okay.
Alright.
What do you do for work, Harry? I know this schtick.
Asking me mundane questions is not going to stop me from doing what needs to be done.
What is it that needs to be done? I'm a scholar.
Which is a pretentious word for underpaid teacher.
I decided to answer your first question.
What do you teach? I wrote my dissertation on Noel Coward.
"We have no reliable guarantee that the afterlife will be any less exasperating than this one, have we?" And yet here I am, stupidly trying my odds.
Um, come, come.
We need to call the engine before this man lights himself on fire.
Well, if a bunch of cop cars and a fire truck show up, it could spook him into dropping that lighter.
Yeah, but if the engine comes, we can at least hose him down.
Well, let Trav talk to him for a minute, see if he can get him to put the lighter down.
Run him a turnout.
I'm not putting my firefighter at risk.
Go.
Andy: Additional backup needed.
Requesting Engine 19 to 2046 Center Drive.
No lights, no sirens.
I repeat, no lights, no sirens.
- What are we studying today? - Bylaws.
Beckett: So, I'm thinking of ordering out for dinner.
Anybody know a good Spanish tapas place around here? Hey, uh, Bishop, you've, uh, read the bylaw manual forwards and backwards, right? What are Just hypothetically, what would be the exact process if a firefighter was suspected of drinking on the job? You should know, Fire Zaddy.
Wait.
That was for drug abuse, not drinking.
My bad.
The firefighter would immediately be asked to submit to an alcohol test.
- Ooh.
- Depending on the results, there would be administrative leave and possible termination following an investigation.
Now, that sound really serious.
What would the process be if a lieutenant were found to have traded sexual favors for his position? - Oh - I'm kidding, Bishop.
It's just, uh, hypothetical.
Right, Sully? What was that? Just an inside joke we got going on.
He's funny.
See? We could pick a donor and that donor could end up being Beckett.
Dispatch: Engine 19 requested to 2046 Center Street.
Yeah, the the book said walking is good for the cramps.
The book? Yeah, dude, I read a book, and maybe the whole Internet to prepare for today.
So, you said you had feelings about this.
Does that mean you wish I was having it? No.
I mean, I'd be lying if I said I hadn't had the stray thought that you'd make a good mom.
But no.
I think I might wanna be a mom one day.
Maybe.
So, what are your feelings? It's just It's just sad, I guess.
Oh.
You know, ever since I ever since I started having sex, I always thought that if I got pregnant, I would sprint straight to the abortion clinic, no question, but this is I don't know.
This is hard.
It's harder than I thought it would be, and the hard part hasn't even started yet.
Because it's all just hard parts.
My mom had one.
Right after my dad died in the line of duty, she found out she was pregnant.
She's Catholic.
Like, my whole family is really Catholic.
But she couldn't get out of bed at that point, so devastated by losing my dad.
Not to mention, now she was a single mom and didn't know how she was gonna take care of me.
I was a kid.
I-I didn't totally know what was doing on.
But I remember a lot of crying in the house.
You know, my aunts told her that God took my dad and gave her this baby, and that an abortion would be more loss to the family.
And they, uh they said they would help her take care of it.
They kept saying it would be okay.
But my mom just kept crying.
And one morning, she left really early, and when she came home, my aunts just stopped talking to her.
You know, I tried to tell her that it wasn't a sin.
Because, you know, in the actual Bible, Jesus is forgiving, right? Says, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.
" Honestly, I don't think she ever forgave herself, even after my aunties started talking to her again, even after she started going to church Hey, hey, hey.
Alright, come on.
- Come on, let's get you home.
- Okay.
It's alright.
I got you.
Can you, uh Can you play some music or something? - What kind? - I dunno.
Uh, happy music.
Is the pain really bad? Well, you and your penis were right.
This is way worse than a heavy period.
Well, worse how? I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Try shoving a pinky finger up your urethra.
Hey, uh, when did you lose your virginity? - Me? - Yeah.
Uh 15.
You? Was it you know, nice? Uh no.
Not really.
No.
You? Not really.
Do you need anything? Yeah, I need you to sing.
Like, loudly.
What? Well, you're a You know, you're a horrible singer, and I know you know that.
I just I need you to feel a little teeny-tiny bit as humiliated as I do right now, so I need you Why do you feel humiliated? I mean, you have absolutely no reason to feel Just sing! Sing! It's like clots.
It's like a lot of it's like a lot of blood clots.
It's pretty gory.
That's normal.
Yeah.
I realized whenever I have a sharp pain, it's a clot trying to pass - through my cervix.
- Through your cervix.
Yeah.
You did read a book.
Two, actually.
Hey, Vic? Yeah? I I'm gonna make some tea.
Okay.
What is happening? - Harry.
- Why are they here? Harry, it's just a precaution.
It's okay.
You are making a scene! Harry! Listen to me! Listen to me! Look, I'm not gonna let anyone near you, but you gotta work with me here.
Please.
Help me understand.
What is it that you want to do here? It's not what I want to do.
I'd rather still be happily married, but here we are.
Okay, so this is about your wife? My ex-wife, as of yesterday.
We've been married for 25 years.
Yesterday, she wakes up and tells me it's over.
It was a long time coming, she says.
News to me.
I didn't even know there was anything wrong.
That sounds That's awful, Harry.
If she was feeling like there was something not working, breaking, broken, why didn't she say anything to me? She had all these thoughts and made all these decisions all by herself.
But she had a partner.
I thought we were partners.
Why wasn't I a part of any of it, any of these conversations? She had left me yesterday, but when did she really leave me, hmm? In her mind, you know? Six months ago? A year? 10 years? I have no idea.
I have no idea about anything anymore.
What did the last 25 years of my life even mean? Harry, you want to get her back? You want to make a point? Do you want to punish her? Yes.
I mean, no, of course not.
I don't know.
I just think that I need to do something only I control and she has no say in.
She'll see how it feels, maybe.
There are other ways to take back control of your life.
Ways where you don't get hurt or hurt other people.
I should just do it.
- I don't even know why I'm waiting - No.
Harry, wait, wait.
Okay, just stay with me, okay? Just for a second.
Just keep talking to me, just for a second, alright? And maybe just Maybe just step out of the car for me.
Please.
Please.
Fine.
You don't understand what this is like.
You just don't, because if you did if you did I do.
Harry, I do.
I understand more than I wish I did, actually.
Someone's done this to you? No.
I've done that to someone.
I'm I'm doing that to someone now.
I'm falling out of love with someone, and and not giving him or us the opportunity to do anything about it, because Because I'm walking around like it's all about me, and and that's not right.
I didn't get it.
I didn't even really get what I was What I was doing to him, Harry, so thank you.
Thank you, because I've been unfair and unkind, and that is so selfish, and I am so sorry.
And if your wife knew and understood all this, she would be so sorry, too.
I'm sure of it.
It's engraved.
Another Coward quote.
Can I see it? "Marriage is the aftermath of love.
" Funny thing to engrave on a wedding present, which it was.
From her.
Less funny the day after she leaves you.
Hey, Harry.
Come on.
Let's get you checked out.
No.
Don't do that.
Harry! Man: Go! Get the hose on him! I mean, you handled our patient and that completely bizarre call pretty well.
So, Crisis One part was a win.
But public display of your darkest feelings about your relationship? Am I a horrible person? You're not a horrible person.
Hey, uh, I didn't mean to bring up old crap earlier with you and Bishop.
No, it's not old crap.
It's actually very relevant crap, because I am still in a never-ending game of musical chairs, which I've realized is a game of my own doing.
Anyway, call Emmett.
Be honest.
Be sorry.
And it'll be okay.
Hey, um, I I owe you all an apology.
Look, I-I've been acting as if, you know, setting myself on fire won't take out every one of you.
Been trying to control what I can control.
I mean, and Miller We couldn't control it, fix it, or save him.
You know.
It really is just, you know Everything seems like it's an inch past my grasp at the moment, which is worse than if it was completely unreachable, because you're like, "If I was a little bit stronger, wiser, faster," so you, uh, you start thrashing, you know, to try and gain on that inch, take running starts to try and hurdle that inch, and you jump, and, uh, all that gets you is is injured out.
So, I'm I'm gonna stop, stop thrashing and swinging, running and jumping.
See? Therapy works.
Did you need something? How 'bout a truce? Look, have I been Have I been hitting the bottle a little hard lately? I have.
It's been a rough couple months around here.
Maybe I've knocked a few too many back on my down time, but I would never drink on the job.
Then why is there whiskey in your office? What What the hell were you doing in my office? Huh? You spying on me for your girlfriend? She's not my girlfriend.
All I know is what I saw.
I have no proof of any foul play.
But you don't, either.
Right? So, if you talk to the chief before I do, be a doll and tell her I'm free any day except Wednesday for our dinner.
I have a date.
Don't worry.
She's a flight attendant.
Hey.
It's all warmed up.
You got, uh, painkillers right here, water, chocolate.
You doing okay? You know, I never didn't want you in my life, Theo.
I didn't I didn't want to be in my own life.
I wanted my life to leave me alone, and I just shut everything out, and when Miller when Miller died, it was It was like Lucas had died all over again.
It was like all All this grief was just living in Inside of my cells and it was reactivated and it pulled me down through a time portal, and I was I was grieving Miller and Lucas, and and my grandma and my my drama teacher, and now this new this new grief It's grief for something I didn't I don't even want, but my body is still grieving and and these hormones are just They're having a frat party inside of me, and it's making it impossible to get a handle on any of it.
Theo, I'm s I'm sorry.
I'm s I'm so I'm so sorry I-I hurt you.
Okay.
I'm s Hey, when do you have Pru next? Today.
Supposed to be doing a handoff, but the Millers are late.
- Mm.
- You know, not to be a bitch, but they shouldn't have her at all.
Well, if saying that makes you a bitch, then my wife is one serious Hey, hey, hey, don't don't say it.
I mean, gotta get rich somehow.
Might as well do it saving lives.
Ben! Andy! Ahh! I missed you! Hi.
Hi.
Sorry we're late.
No, no, no, it's fine.
But, um who are you? Oh, my God.
Yes.
I'm Anna, Pru's part-time nanny and best friend.
Best friend! Alright, it's, um I didn't realize that the Millers had hired a nanny.
I went to school with Yemi way back when, and the Millers have been struggling, so they asked me to help.
Anyway, I'd love to stay and chat, but I'm late for rehearsal.
I'm in a band.
A terrible band.
Nice meeting you all.
- Nice meeting you, too.
- Bye, Anna.
The Millers hired a nanny? Yeah, a hot nanny, right? Yeah, well, this is out of my control.
- Yeah.
- Alright, say bye, Pru.
- Okay.
- Bye.
- Bye.
- Bye-bye.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Is there an app or something that helps you find the messiest, most complicated option in a nearby radius? Well, what do you mean, messy? You just met her.
That is judgmental.
You That She's Pru's nanny.
Oh.
S-She works for the Millers, and you're one to talk.
Oh, it's exactly why I should talk.
If I didn't sleep with the captain of 19, I'd still be at 19.
In fact, I-I might even be the captain of 19.
Are we talking about, uh, Sullivan or Beckett? Exactly.
What is wrong with us? Us? When When did this become a we thing? Because it is a we thing.
We keep doing this, and we need to quit it.
We need to grow the hell up.
- Hmm.
- We can fix this, Jack.
L-L-Let's be each other's fix-it buddies, hmm? Help each other stop sleeping around with messy people.
What, like, sleep with each other? By not sleeping with each other, or anyone else.
You sound like Diane.
Oh, please, don't tell me you've hit on Diane, too? No.
God, no.
I would.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
I know you would.
Because we both confuse almost everything for lust, which we them confuse for love.
She keeps saying a period of abstinence will, um, help me break the cycle, - then clear my head.
- And? And I've literally done everything she suggested, except that one.
That's That's impossible.
What else are we supposed to do? I don't know.
We can go on walks.
Take pottery classes.
I don't know.
Play board games.
Is this you trying to convince me? Alright.
Yes.
- No sex.
- And no flirting.
- No flirting? - That's half the problem.
Alright.
But you can't do that face anymore.
That one.
No, he made a litany of bad calls, and his anger Well, that doesn't mean he's drinking on the job.
The bottle was in his office.
Well, most drunks just like to know the bottle is near.
Have you told Natasha about your suspicions? No.
She's the Chief.
If I tell her, I'm reporting him.
Then he exposes us.
No, having her back in my life It's the best thing that's happened to me in a long time.
Look, she promoted me based on a history as a soldier and what she knows I'm capable of.
And this scumbag is accusing me of Of trading sexual favors? I thought you aren't sleeping with her.
I'm not.
Yet.
I mean, I-I would like to.
Then help him get sober.
What? Look, if he's drinking on the job, he's got alcoholism.
You just don't drink on the job.
Offer the man a hand, just as a hand was offered to you, okay? You do the right thing.
Protect yourself.
It's a win-win.
Hey.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Since Since when do you bring me coffee at work? I don't want to go with the genius Mensa donor or the rower.
Just I Thinking about our baby being you and some random stranger No, no, no.
No.
It's just There's so much out of our control in that scenario.
I mean, sure, the guys look great on paper, and based on their baby photos, but how do we know that our baby isn't gonna grow up to be some guy that douses himself with gasoline when he doesn't get his way? Or Beckett? What? I want our donor to be someone we know.
Okay, someone we know, like your brother? No.
No, no, no.
I-I really don't need my genes in there.
I just want to know more than I know when I'm buying sperm from a stranger.
Okay.
Do you have anyone in mind? No.
But we could brainstorm together.
- Okay.
- Okay.
I mean, there is a lot more to talk about.
No, I know.
I know.
And we will.
But I wanted you to know that it was not all about me winning the sperm donor game.
Okay.
We'll talk later? Mm-hmm.
- Hey.
- Hey.
How is she? She's sleeping.
- Was it - Brutal.
Yeah.
She's still kinda going.
But she's good, though.
And you two? We're good, too.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
Alright, careful.
It's hot.
How was your shift? Well, uh, basically, I admitted to falling out of love with Emmett during a Crisis One call in front of about 30 people, including Emmett, and now he won't return my phone calls.
That's a bad shift.
Not great.
Do you want him to return your calls? Of course.
I mean, I can't be the guy that breaks his heart twice, right? Is that why you haven't ended it? Because you don't want to be the guy? I mean, it's a pretty good reason.
Not as good as you love him, you know, you can't live without him, you'll do anything to keep him.
Those are reasons, too.
Travis.
Okay, I love him, alright? I love him, I love him.
I love him and I don't want to hurt him.
Then keep calling.
Theo? I love you.
I love you, too, baby.
Those are what our turnouts should look like.
Silver space suits.
They'd strike fear into the heart of everyone around.
Vic: Looks like Sullivan.
It does.
Um, I'm gonna go make some popcorn.
Thank you.
- Yeah.
- Nice! Right.
Okay, so, look Are you I know we've talked about this already, but are you sure you don't want me to come with you Oh, God tomorrow for the pill and just kind of all of it? - Think about it.
Think about it.
- Mm-hmm.
I'd probably make the world's best abortion doula.
See? See? Who other than the world's best abortion doula would know that you need a dark joke right now? Thank you.
And I agree.
I think you'd be the absolute best person in the world for this, but, um, I just Okay, then I'll call out for tomorrow then.
No.
I love you.
I just I think this is probably something that Theo and I need to do Yeah.
Theo accused me of avoiding my own messed up relationship by getting too involved in yours.
I have no idea what he could possibly mean.
Do you think I have not noticed that you can't - You can't stand to be alone with him? - Shh.
I'm I haven't talked to you about it because you haven't said anything about it, so I figured you weren't ready or whatever.
Okay, I haven't talked to you about it because you've kind of had a lot going on, or you would have said something because you're not the "wait till I'm ready" kind of friend.
Well, that's true, so do you want to talk about it now? - No, thank you.
- We can.
Call me tomorrow if you need me.
I love you.
Okay.
I mean, it was the ordering in Spanish, - heavy on that Castilian accent, but - Well, I It's a Spanish restaurant.
I'll give it a 7 out of 10.
Get out of here! Seven? - Seven.
- Seven? Seven.
Boquerones.
Gazpacho.
Gazpacho! That's how you say it.
I am glad that we finally did this, though.
Oh, you know, technically, we've done this before.
Mm.
That's when we were actually doing this.
How do you define "this"? You didn't want to define it.
No, no.
I-I-I thought about you for years, okay? Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Do you think the only reason why things were easy when we were together is because we were in an actual war? No.
No.
I think we're just good together.
- Hmm.
Oh, damn it.
- Okay.
Sorry.
No, no, no, it's not you.
Just Beckett.
- What? - Beckett.
Oh, wow, fancy running into you two together.
Hey.
Well, I'm sitting down with leadership across the department.
Yeah? Looking forward.
I'm sure someone from my office will be reaching out.
Wow, that's quite a haul.
Oh, yeah, otherwise, I'd just have to come here every day.
You know.
I'm kidding, Chief.
I'm gonna go home, drown my sorrows, and look forward to your phone call.
Night-night.
That wasn't good.
No, it wasn't.
He's a Danish expat, so generations of great healthcare.
He is "Type A in the best way.
" He rows crew, and he's an award-winning archer.
Uh, and mine Mine is literally a genius.
The guy is Mensa.
And look.
His baby picture looks like Andrea.
You get to carry, and it's gonna be your egg.
Shouldn't I get to win this one? Wait, do you wanna be Do you wanna be the one that carries? No.
I am not saying that.
I'm just saying I don't know what I'm saying.
You know, I just like my pick better.
Besides, there's no guarantee that it'll be a genius - if we go with yours.
- Exactly.
So, what does it actually matter which of the two we pick? Well, if it doesn't matter why don't we just go with mine? Are we back to step one? No.
No.
No.
We're not.
We're not.
But I am late for shift, and so are you.
So we will talk about this later.
I love you.
Thanks for the coffee.
Pleasure.
- What? - Just wanted to let you know, I had my final session with Diane yesterday, so I should be good to go on calls now.
When Diane calls and tells me that, you will be.
And, uh, I also want to say thank you, Captain, for not writing me up about the sutures.
I understand now that it was wrong.
Do I seem like a guidance counselor in an after-school special, Warren? I don't need your lip service.
Just fix it and be better.
Trouble only becomes bigger trouble if you don't face it, so don't let this little slip up define the rest of your career, or the end of it.
- Appreciate it, sir.
- Mm-hmm.
Captain.
Herrera.
Nice to have you on shift.
Not gonna have trouble keeping you in line like I do former Captains Bishop and Sullivan, am I? No, sir.
I'm a team player.
Good.
I know that Hughes appreciates you subbing for her.
Cap Sean? Never mind.
I'll I'll see you at lineup.
Hey.
What are you doing? Well, that's a nice way to greet a friend.
Uh, I'm subbing for Hughes as a favor.
No, no, I mean, what are you doing in there? I told you that in confidence.
Yeah, well, that was your second mistake.
Well, at least he's not a grieving coworker - with a boyfriend.
- Shut up.
How do you Nobody knows that.
- How do you know that? - Hughes told me, so I'll shut up about yours if you shut up about mine.
Well, I'm not really sure what one talks about when they're waiting for their abortion to show up.
Hi.
Sorry I'm late.
It's okay.
So, um, I'm gonna have to do a vaginal ultrasound - one last time.
- Okay.
Uh, fine, but, uh, no thank you on seeing it.
- Of course.
- Yeah.
And volume off.
- Okay.
- All set.
Thanks.
Okay.
Are you ready? Yeah.
You're showtuning? Okay.
We're all set.
Okay.
Any chance you were super wrong and there's nothing in there? You're officially at five and a half weeks.
What I'm gonna give you now is mifepristone.
What this does is stop any growth in the pregnancy immediately.
And because of your recent medical adventure I would like for you to hang out here for one hour.
I want to check your blood pressure before you go home.
- Okay? - Okay.
- Here.
- Thanks.
Also, page me if you feel sick at all.
If you vomit, you risk to lose the medication before it takes effect.
Well, we wouldn't want that, so I'll take that.
- Mm.
- Thanks.
I'll be back in a bit.
So, what wine do you think pairs best with an abortion? I'm thinking, like, earthy red, right? It's gotta be.
Vic.
Stop.
Hey.
It's just us.
Okay? You don't have to do your jokey thing.
Okay, well, my jokey thing is who I am, so if you want - you can go.
- No.
No.
I'm I'm good.
Okay.
- Hey.
- Carina: Hey.
- How are you feeling? - Terrific.
Yeah, great.
Good.
As long as everything looks good, I'm gonna give you the second sequence of pills.
Misoprostol.
It's four tablets that you will take in a few hours when you're home.
You know the buccal method? Uh, the thing where I let it melt in my cheek for half an hour? - Exactly.
- Yeah.
It will cause your uterus to contract and shed its lining and any contents.
Okay.
It will last a day or two, and it's similar to a heavy period.
Do you have any questions? Uh, no.
No.
I'm I'm good.
Okay.
Everything looks good.
If anything feels off, and I mean anything, you can call me.
Okay? You have my number? Yes.
Promise.
Promise.
I'll make sure she does.
Yeah.
Okay.
Thanks, Doc.
That was kinda anticlimactic.
Um it seems like it's just gonna be a lot of sitting around from here on out, so you you should probably just go home.
Theo: No, I'm gonna I'm gonna sit around with you.
Seriously, I'll I'll be fine.
She said it's just like a heavy period.
Yeah, I know what she said, but Well, I've been doing some reading, and Oh, okay.
So, you and your penis are gonna tell me and my OB how a medical abortion works? That's Um I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
That was reflex snark.
I just meant, if you you don't have to Yeah, well, I'm telling you, for the 10th time, I want to.
Thanks.
- Warren.
Hey.
- We lost one truck this year.
Can we maybe be nice to this one? Now even the most menial parts of my job are up for discussion.
I thought you had your your Diane time.
Shouldn't your head be fixed? Those sessions were a waste of a perfectly qualified firefighter.
Yeah, if you're this angry still, they were.
Okay, look, I don't need help, alright? I didn't need help.
I-I'm not repressing anger, I'm not transferring grief, and I'm not doing things out of guilt.
Yet you're yelling at work and at your lieutenant.
Warren, I'm not trying to pull rank.
I'm just saying that something's still up.
Okay, everyone in this building is a mess, but I'm the only one in trouble.
I'm j Hey.
I thought he was talking to Diane.
Yeah, well, I guess it didn't quite take.
Hey, um, you seen, uh, Beckett? No, not since this morning's lineup.
- I get it.
- Our gym is way better than 23's.
Still feels weird having you here as a sub.
Yeah, tell me about it.
I still think if we hadn't stormed McCallister's office, you might actually be captain of 19 by now.
So, we're down to two in the donor search.
Oh.
Yay.
Not yay? I hate her final pick, and she hates mine.
Okay.
Not "hate" in either case, but why can't it just be my pick? 'Cause it's not just your baby.
Exactly! And it's not just hers.
I mean, she's carrying and it's gonna be her egg, and now she wants to use donor sperm from a guy who looks just like her brother.
I mean, this baby is gonna be 100% DeLuca and zero Bishop.
Do you want to use your egg? No.
And I don't particularly want to be a pregnant person right now, either, but I just wish it had both of us, not just her and some rando.
Wait.
Do you really think I'd be captain by now? I mean, yeah.
If I had promoted to Battalion Chief like I was on track to, you were next in line.
Well, technically, Bishop, you jumped her in line.
I'm gonna shut up now.
Dispatch: Crisis One to 2046 Center Street.
- That's me.
- Me, too.
Hey, hope you find your sperm.
Theo: Okay.
So, I got three kinds of chocolates, - beef jerky, uh - Thank you.
nacho cheese and ranch, and Mmm! I thought you were gonna wait for me to get back.
Okay, well, it's been four hours, so I didn't.
Seriously? You're gonna be mad at me because I didn't wait for you to take a pill? You know, you have seen me do it already today.
Alright, it's not just a pill.
It's a very specific You know, why don't you want me in your life? You keep finding ways to, you know, whittle me down and shut me out, and, uh, I mean, damn, I'm in this relationship, too.
What relationship? 'Cause if I hadn't found out I was pregnant, we wouldn't have spoken to each other in almost two weeks.
- I don't - Yeah, that's because you just decided you were done with me.
Theo, I didn't decide anything.
I told you about about Gibson, and then you walked away.
- Wha - I didn't walk away.
You pushed me.
Okay.
Well, I guess it didn't take much.
- So, I don't know what - Wow.
Wow.
Okay.
You know, you can rewrite that story all you want, but the fact is, you did everything you could to make sure you were alone.
And now all I'm trying to do is be there for you through this, despite my own feelings, because that's what you do when you love someone.
- What - And you won't even let me do that.
What are your own feelings? Doesn't matter, apparently.
No, it does it does matter.
It does matter, because I would like to know, - what are your feelings? - No.
No, you wouldn't.
Because if you did, you would have already asked.
God.
Go away! I'm fine.
This is my house.
Okay.
I understand that, sir, but a neighbor called and said you were pacing and yelling on the lawn.
I was, but I'm not now.
I'm in my car, at my house.
Is that a crime? We're not cops.
What are you, EMTs? Firefighters? I'm not hurt, and there's no fire.
You wanna tell me why you're upset? Not particularly.
- Please leave.
- This is between me and my wife.
Your wife? Is she home? Far as I know.
Hey.
How about we give her a call? Together? Please? Thank you.
Susan: Harry, enough of this.
For God sake, I'm at work.
The neighbors are texting, saying you're causing a scene and j No.
Hey.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Harry! Harry, wait! Don't do that! Don't do that, Harry! Harry, don't do that! Harry! Harry! Open this door, Harry! Do not try any of those theatrics or I will light The guy ready to set himself on fire is calling out theatrics.
I see the irony.
I said go away! Step back! Okay.
Hey.
Harry.
Harry, if you open the door, we can keep talking and you won't pass out from the fumes, okay? I'll open the window.
Are those power windows? Wait.
Because you can't turn the car on if you have a puddle of gasoline at your feet, okay? Just open the door, Harry.
Okay.
Alright.
What do you do for work, Harry? I know this schtick.
Asking me mundane questions is not going to stop me from doing what needs to be done.
What is it that needs to be done? I'm a scholar.
Which is a pretentious word for underpaid teacher.
I decided to answer your first question.
What do you teach? I wrote my dissertation on Noel Coward.
"We have no reliable guarantee that the afterlife will be any less exasperating than this one, have we?" And yet here I am, stupidly trying my odds.
Um, come, come.
We need to call the engine before this man lights himself on fire.
Well, if a bunch of cop cars and a fire truck show up, it could spook him into dropping that lighter.
Yeah, but if the engine comes, we can at least hose him down.
Well, let Trav talk to him for a minute, see if he can get him to put the lighter down.
Run him a turnout.
I'm not putting my firefighter at risk.
Go.
Andy: Additional backup needed.
Requesting Engine 19 to 2046 Center Drive.
No lights, no sirens.
I repeat, no lights, no sirens.
- What are we studying today? - Bylaws.
Beckett: So, I'm thinking of ordering out for dinner.
Anybody know a good Spanish tapas place around here? Hey, uh, Bishop, you've, uh, read the bylaw manual forwards and backwards, right? What are Just hypothetically, what would be the exact process if a firefighter was suspected of drinking on the job? You should know, Fire Zaddy.
Wait.
That was for drug abuse, not drinking.
My bad.
The firefighter would immediately be asked to submit to an alcohol test.
- Ooh.
- Depending on the results, there would be administrative leave and possible termination following an investigation.
Now, that sound really serious.
What would the process be if a lieutenant were found to have traded sexual favors for his position? - Oh - I'm kidding, Bishop.
It's just, uh, hypothetical.
Right, Sully? What was that? Just an inside joke we got going on.
He's funny.
See? We could pick a donor and that donor could end up being Beckett.
Dispatch: Engine 19 requested to 2046 Center Street.
Yeah, the the book said walking is good for the cramps.
The book? Yeah, dude, I read a book, and maybe the whole Internet to prepare for today.
So, you said you had feelings about this.
Does that mean you wish I was having it? No.
I mean, I'd be lying if I said I hadn't had the stray thought that you'd make a good mom.
But no.
I think I might wanna be a mom one day.
Maybe.
So, what are your feelings? It's just It's just sad, I guess.
Oh.
You know, ever since I ever since I started having sex, I always thought that if I got pregnant, I would sprint straight to the abortion clinic, no question, but this is I don't know.
This is hard.
It's harder than I thought it would be, and the hard part hasn't even started yet.
Because it's all just hard parts.
My mom had one.
Right after my dad died in the line of duty, she found out she was pregnant.
She's Catholic.
Like, my whole family is really Catholic.
But she couldn't get out of bed at that point, so devastated by losing my dad.
Not to mention, now she was a single mom and didn't know how she was gonna take care of me.
I was a kid.
I-I didn't totally know what was doing on.
But I remember a lot of crying in the house.
You know, my aunts told her that God took my dad and gave her this baby, and that an abortion would be more loss to the family.
And they, uh they said they would help her take care of it.
They kept saying it would be okay.
But my mom just kept crying.
And one morning, she left really early, and when she came home, my aunts just stopped talking to her.
You know, I tried to tell her that it wasn't a sin.
Because, you know, in the actual Bible, Jesus is forgiving, right? Says, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.
" Honestly, I don't think she ever forgave herself, even after my aunties started talking to her again, even after she started going to church Hey, hey, hey.
Alright, come on.
- Come on, let's get you home.
- Okay.
It's alright.
I got you.
Can you, uh Can you play some music or something? - What kind? - I dunno.
Uh, happy music.
Is the pain really bad? Well, you and your penis were right.
This is way worse than a heavy period.
Well, worse how? I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Try shoving a pinky finger up your urethra.
Hey, uh, when did you lose your virginity? - Me? - Yeah.
Uh 15.
You? Was it you know, nice? Uh no.
Not really.
No.
You? Not really.
Do you need anything? Yeah, I need you to sing.
Like, loudly.
What? Well, you're a You know, you're a horrible singer, and I know you know that.
I just I need you to feel a little teeny-tiny bit as humiliated as I do right now, so I need you Why do you feel humiliated? I mean, you have absolutely no reason to feel Just sing! Sing! It's like clots.
It's like a lot of it's like a lot of blood clots.
It's pretty gory.
That's normal.
Yeah.
I realized whenever I have a sharp pain, it's a clot trying to pass - through my cervix.
- Through your cervix.
Yeah.
You did read a book.
Two, actually.
Hey, Vic? Yeah? I I'm gonna make some tea.
Okay.
What is happening? - Harry.
- Why are they here? Harry, it's just a precaution.
It's okay.
You are making a scene! Harry! Listen to me! Listen to me! Look, I'm not gonna let anyone near you, but you gotta work with me here.
Please.
Help me understand.
What is it that you want to do here? It's not what I want to do.
I'd rather still be happily married, but here we are.
Okay, so this is about your wife? My ex-wife, as of yesterday.
We've been married for 25 years.
Yesterday, she wakes up and tells me it's over.
It was a long time coming, she says.
News to me.
I didn't even know there was anything wrong.
That sounds That's awful, Harry.
If she was feeling like there was something not working, breaking, broken, why didn't she say anything to me? She had all these thoughts and made all these decisions all by herself.
But she had a partner.
I thought we were partners.
Why wasn't I a part of any of it, any of these conversations? She had left me yesterday, but when did she really leave me, hmm? In her mind, you know? Six months ago? A year? 10 years? I have no idea.
I have no idea about anything anymore.
What did the last 25 years of my life even mean? Harry, you want to get her back? You want to make a point? Do you want to punish her? Yes.
I mean, no, of course not.
I don't know.
I just think that I need to do something only I control and she has no say in.
She'll see how it feels, maybe.
There are other ways to take back control of your life.
Ways where you don't get hurt or hurt other people.
I should just do it.
- I don't even know why I'm waiting - No.
Harry, wait, wait.
Okay, just stay with me, okay? Just for a second.
Just keep talking to me, just for a second, alright? And maybe just Maybe just step out of the car for me.
Please.
Please.
Fine.
You don't understand what this is like.
You just don't, because if you did if you did I do.
Harry, I do.
I understand more than I wish I did, actually.
Someone's done this to you? No.
I've done that to someone.
I'm I'm doing that to someone now.
I'm falling out of love with someone, and and not giving him or us the opportunity to do anything about it, because Because I'm walking around like it's all about me, and and that's not right.
I didn't get it.
I didn't even really get what I was What I was doing to him, Harry, so thank you.
Thank you, because I've been unfair and unkind, and that is so selfish, and I am so sorry.
And if your wife knew and understood all this, she would be so sorry, too.
I'm sure of it.
It's engraved.
Another Coward quote.
Can I see it? "Marriage is the aftermath of love.
" Funny thing to engrave on a wedding present, which it was.
From her.
Less funny the day after she leaves you.
Hey, Harry.
Come on.
Let's get you checked out.
No.
Don't do that.
Harry! Man: Go! Get the hose on him! I mean, you handled our patient and that completely bizarre call pretty well.
So, Crisis One part was a win.
But public display of your darkest feelings about your relationship? Am I a horrible person? You're not a horrible person.
Hey, uh, I didn't mean to bring up old crap earlier with you and Bishop.
No, it's not old crap.
It's actually very relevant crap, because I am still in a never-ending game of musical chairs, which I've realized is a game of my own doing.
Anyway, call Emmett.
Be honest.
Be sorry.
And it'll be okay.
Hey, um, I I owe you all an apology.
Look, I-I've been acting as if, you know, setting myself on fire won't take out every one of you.
Been trying to control what I can control.
I mean, and Miller We couldn't control it, fix it, or save him.
You know.
It really is just, you know Everything seems like it's an inch past my grasp at the moment, which is worse than if it was completely unreachable, because you're like, "If I was a little bit stronger, wiser, faster," so you, uh, you start thrashing, you know, to try and gain on that inch, take running starts to try and hurdle that inch, and you jump, and, uh, all that gets you is is injured out.
So, I'm I'm gonna stop, stop thrashing and swinging, running and jumping.
See? Therapy works.
Did you need something? How 'bout a truce? Look, have I been Have I been hitting the bottle a little hard lately? I have.
It's been a rough couple months around here.
Maybe I've knocked a few too many back on my down time, but I would never drink on the job.
Then why is there whiskey in your office? What What the hell were you doing in my office? Huh? You spying on me for your girlfriend? She's not my girlfriend.
All I know is what I saw.
I have no proof of any foul play.
But you don't, either.
Right? So, if you talk to the chief before I do, be a doll and tell her I'm free any day except Wednesday for our dinner.
I have a date.
Don't worry.
She's a flight attendant.
Hey.
It's all warmed up.
You got, uh, painkillers right here, water, chocolate.
You doing okay? You know, I never didn't want you in my life, Theo.
I didn't I didn't want to be in my own life.
I wanted my life to leave me alone, and I just shut everything out, and when Miller when Miller died, it was It was like Lucas had died all over again.
It was like all All this grief was just living in Inside of my cells and it was reactivated and it pulled me down through a time portal, and I was I was grieving Miller and Lucas, and and my grandma and my my drama teacher, and now this new this new grief It's grief for something I didn't I don't even want, but my body is still grieving and and these hormones are just They're having a frat party inside of me, and it's making it impossible to get a handle on any of it.
Theo, I'm s I'm sorry.
I'm s I'm so I'm so sorry I-I hurt you.
Okay.
I'm s Hey, when do you have Pru next? Today.
Supposed to be doing a handoff, but the Millers are late.
- Mm.
- You know, not to be a bitch, but they shouldn't have her at all.
Well, if saying that makes you a bitch, then my wife is one serious Hey, hey, hey, don't don't say it.
I mean, gotta get rich somehow.
Might as well do it saving lives.
Ben! Andy! Ahh! I missed you! Hi.
Hi.
Sorry we're late.
No, no, no, it's fine.
But, um who are you? Oh, my God.
Yes.
I'm Anna, Pru's part-time nanny and best friend.
Best friend! Alright, it's, um I didn't realize that the Millers had hired a nanny.
I went to school with Yemi way back when, and the Millers have been struggling, so they asked me to help.
Anyway, I'd love to stay and chat, but I'm late for rehearsal.
I'm in a band.
A terrible band.
Nice meeting you all.
- Nice meeting you, too.
- Bye, Anna.
The Millers hired a nanny? Yeah, a hot nanny, right? Yeah, well, this is out of my control.
- Yeah.
- Alright, say bye, Pru.
- Okay.
- Bye.
- Bye.
- Bye-bye.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Is there an app or something that helps you find the messiest, most complicated option in a nearby radius? Well, what do you mean, messy? You just met her.
That is judgmental.
You That She's Pru's nanny.
Oh.
S-She works for the Millers, and you're one to talk.
Oh, it's exactly why I should talk.
If I didn't sleep with the captain of 19, I'd still be at 19.
In fact, I-I might even be the captain of 19.
Are we talking about, uh, Sullivan or Beckett? Exactly.
What is wrong with us? Us? When When did this become a we thing? Because it is a we thing.
We keep doing this, and we need to quit it.
We need to grow the hell up.
- Hmm.
- We can fix this, Jack.
L-L-Let's be each other's fix-it buddies, hmm? Help each other stop sleeping around with messy people.
What, like, sleep with each other? By not sleeping with each other, or anyone else.
You sound like Diane.
Oh, please, don't tell me you've hit on Diane, too? No.
God, no.
I would.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
I know you would.
Because we both confuse almost everything for lust, which we them confuse for love.
She keeps saying a period of abstinence will, um, help me break the cycle, - then clear my head.
- And? And I've literally done everything she suggested, except that one.
That's That's impossible.
What else are we supposed to do? I don't know.
We can go on walks.
Take pottery classes.
I don't know.
Play board games.
Is this you trying to convince me? Alright.
Yes.
- No sex.
- And no flirting.
- No flirting? - That's half the problem.
Alright.
But you can't do that face anymore.
That one.
No, he made a litany of bad calls, and his anger Well, that doesn't mean he's drinking on the job.
The bottle was in his office.
Well, most drunks just like to know the bottle is near.
Have you told Natasha about your suspicions? No.
She's the Chief.
If I tell her, I'm reporting him.
Then he exposes us.
No, having her back in my life It's the best thing that's happened to me in a long time.
Look, she promoted me based on a history as a soldier and what she knows I'm capable of.
And this scumbag is accusing me of Of trading sexual favors? I thought you aren't sleeping with her.
I'm not.
Yet.
I mean, I-I would like to.
Then help him get sober.
What? Look, if he's drinking on the job, he's got alcoholism.
You just don't drink on the job.
Offer the man a hand, just as a hand was offered to you, okay? You do the right thing.
Protect yourself.
It's a win-win.
Hey.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Since Since when do you bring me coffee at work? I don't want to go with the genius Mensa donor or the rower.
Just I Thinking about our baby being you and some random stranger No, no, no.
No.
It's just There's so much out of our control in that scenario.
I mean, sure, the guys look great on paper, and based on their baby photos, but how do we know that our baby isn't gonna grow up to be some guy that douses himself with gasoline when he doesn't get his way? Or Beckett? What? I want our donor to be someone we know.
Okay, someone we know, like your brother? No.
No, no, no.
I-I really don't need my genes in there.
I just want to know more than I know when I'm buying sperm from a stranger.
Okay.
Do you have anyone in mind? No.
But we could brainstorm together.
- Okay.
- Okay.
I mean, there is a lot more to talk about.
No, I know.
I know.
And we will.
But I wanted you to know that it was not all about me winning the sperm donor game.
Okay.
We'll talk later? Mm-hmm.
- Hey.
- Hey.
How is she? She's sleeping.
- Was it - Brutal.
Yeah.
She's still kinda going.
But she's good, though.
And you two? We're good, too.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
Alright, careful.
It's hot.
How was your shift? Well, uh, basically, I admitted to falling out of love with Emmett during a Crisis One call in front of about 30 people, including Emmett, and now he won't return my phone calls.
That's a bad shift.
Not great.
Do you want him to return your calls? Of course.
I mean, I can't be the guy that breaks his heart twice, right? Is that why you haven't ended it? Because you don't want to be the guy? I mean, it's a pretty good reason.
Not as good as you love him, you know, you can't live without him, you'll do anything to keep him.
Those are reasons, too.
Travis.
Okay, I love him, alright? I love him, I love him.
I love him and I don't want to hurt him.
Then keep calling.
Theo? I love you.
I love you, too, baby.