The Batman (2004) s05e11 Episode Script
What Goes Up...
MAN: Pliers.
[GRUNTING.]
Struggling only makes it worse.
Ball-peen.
We waste more time trying to get that thing off his head.
Don't tell me you're not curious to see the face behind Black Mask.
BLACK MASK: Sorry to disappoint you, but I won't be here for my unveiling.
Ha.
Another breakout attempt? We've seen them all.
This one you won't see.
[GASPS.]
[GRUNTING.]
[GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTS.]
Always hire the best, I say.
You ain't seen nothing yet.
And they call you a creature of the shadows.
A talent like that can be used for more than just a breakout.
Word from the prison grapevine is that Black Mask is planning something big.
Black Mask always thinks big.
- Where do you think he'll strike? - With this guy? Almost anywhere he wants.
[CHATTERING.]
And this rare meteorite is the only known object ever to impact the Earth from the Thanagar star system.
This now concludes our tour.
Please exit through this door.
[ALARM SOUNDS.]
I see the guy's shadow.
But where's the guy? [GUARDS GRUNTING.]
GUARD: Drop the rock.
[GRUNTING.]
BLACK MASK: You told me you could do this without setting off alarms.
SHADOW THIEF: An unexpected glitch.
BLACK MASK: The unexpected, I always expect.
You two, get the rock.
Three-minute police response time, Number 1.
[SIRENS WAILING.]
Our response time is better.
[GRUNTING.]
ROBIN: Something from the gift shop? BLACK MASK: Now this, I expected.
[GRUNTING.]
SHADOW THIEF: Doesn't even tickle.
[GRUNTING.]
[SHADOW THIEF LAUGHS.]
MAN: Ooh! - I got him.
Robin, wait.
Okay, bad idea.
[GRUNTING.]
BLACK MASK: No more dark nights for you, Dark Knight.
SHADOW THIEF: Hawkman, what are you doing here? I'm here to take you in, Shadow Thief.
BLACK MASK: Get rid of him.
SHADOW THIEF: With pleasure.
[GRUNTING.]
[ENGINE STARTS.]
SHADOW THIEF: You got lucky.
[GRUNTS.]
MEN: Aah! BLACK MASK: Step on it.
[GRUNTING.]
Don't suppose they'll pull over and give up? I'll fire a grappling hook and reel them in.
Huh? [TIRES SQUEALING.]
[ROBIN GASPS.]
- Ejection seats? - Bad option.
Brace for impact.
That wasn't so bad.
We never hit.
Huh? Nice catch.
Couldn't let a fine vehicle like this get scratched.
HAWKMAN: I'm impressed.
Your setup here is not that much different from police headquarters back on Thanagar.
More earthbound, of course.
[COMPUTER BEEPS AND WHIRS.]
That's him.
That's Shadow Thief.
His real name is Carl Sands.
You mean he's human? Except for a missing conscience.
He thinks nothing of putting others in danger.
Of all the criminals I've fought on two planets he's the most reckless and elusive.
It's this wrist device that gives him his two-dimensional abilities.
He can make his body solid at any time, and that's the time he can be caught.
[BEEPING.]
It's done.
I hope you're not gonna say, "Dinner is served.
" It's a piece from the meteor they stole.
[WHIRRING.]
The radian analyzer shows one element unknown to Earth with antigravity properties I've never seen before.
I have.
It's called the Nth element.
It's part of my suit.
It's what gives me my strength and flying powers.
It's incredibly potent and unstable.
If this is what they're after, all of Gotham is in jeopardy.
BLACK MASK: If this stuff works like you say then the gem depository's ours for the taking.
NUMBER 1: But it's practically a fort.
Nobody's ever broken in.
BLACK MASK: You sound worried, Number 1.
Let me demonstrate how I'll do it.
You see this sample of antigravity powder? It's been chemically treated.
Once it makes contact with the air [GASPS.]
it activates.
Aah! [GRUNTS.]
BLACK MASK: I'm taking the gem depository building, all right right out of the ground.
Are you worried anymore, Number 1? No.
No, Black Mask.
No, I'm not.
BLACK MASK: You should be.
[SCREAMS.]
BLACK MASK: You.
You're my new Number 1.
I think that honor is due me.
Huh.
Hiring you put another costumed cop on my tail.
This caper was difficult enough without your flyboy around.
Don't worry.
I have a little diversion in mind that'll keep him and the Bat quite busy.
ROBIN: An anonymous tip on Shadow Thief.
Tell me this isn't a trap.
HAWKMAN: Maybe not.
BATMAN [OVER COMM-LINK.]
: Got anything? I see him.
The train.
SHADOW THIEF: That's right, Hawkman.
Next stop, the moon.
[LAUGHS.]
[GASPS.]
He used the Nth element.
How far up will it go? It'll never stop.
PASENGER 1:Oh! PASSENGER 2: Oh, my gosh.
[GRUNTING.]
[BEEPING.]
The element's in place.
BLACK MASK: Get ready.
[RUMBLING.]
[ALARMS WAILING.]
[BOTH GASP.]
[HAWKMAN GRUNTING.]
- We're losing it.
- Hold on.
[GRUNTING.]
Can someone tell me what Shadow Thief thought he was doing? Keeping us away from the real crime.
Huh? HAWKMAN: Anyone need a lift? Batman, thank heavens.
Black Mask and his gang are emptying the vault.
You better get them out of here.
We'll take care of Black Mask.
I hope you guys haven't just eaten.
BOTH: Oh! [BEEPING.]
BLACK MASK: It's payday, boys.
[GRUNTING.]
You still owe the state [GRUNTING.]
SHADOW THIEF: Time to fly, bird boy.
[YELLING.]
SHADOW THIEF: Don't wanna leave you out, Batman.
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Where's a blimp when you need one? You wouldn't like the ozone, son.
Trust me.
[YELLING.]
Thanks.
Gotta get back to Batman.
[BEEPING.]
[GRUNTING.]
SHADOW THIEF: Going somewhere? I thought bats like to fly.
[GRUNTING.]
BLACK MASK: Nothing will save you now, Batman.
[BLACK MASK GRUNTS.]
SHADOW THIEF: Aah! No! [GRUNTING.]
Huh? Nice job.
Back on top.
[RUMBLING.]
[GRUNTING.]
It's gonna drop.
[GRUNTING.]
[ROBIN YELLING.]
You get the feeling this is gonna make the local news? MAN [ON TV.]
: This was the scene today as Hawkman took custody of the Shadow Thief for a flight back to Midway City.
In a related story, scuba divers have finally recovered the last of the jewels from the gem depository after Black Mask's daring robbery.
And though the city's lost a building it seems to have gained a new water attraction.
[CHATTERING AND LAUGHING.]
Where are you going? To get my bathing suit.
[GRUNTING.]
Struggling only makes it worse.
Ball-peen.
We waste more time trying to get that thing off his head.
Don't tell me you're not curious to see the face behind Black Mask.
BLACK MASK: Sorry to disappoint you, but I won't be here for my unveiling.
Ha.
Another breakout attempt? We've seen them all.
This one you won't see.
[GASPS.]
[GRUNTING.]
[GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTS.]
Always hire the best, I say.
You ain't seen nothing yet.
And they call you a creature of the shadows.
A talent like that can be used for more than just a breakout.
Word from the prison grapevine is that Black Mask is planning something big.
Black Mask always thinks big.
- Where do you think he'll strike? - With this guy? Almost anywhere he wants.
[CHATTERING.]
And this rare meteorite is the only known object ever to impact the Earth from the Thanagar star system.
This now concludes our tour.
Please exit through this door.
[ALARM SOUNDS.]
I see the guy's shadow.
But where's the guy? [GUARDS GRUNTING.]
GUARD: Drop the rock.
[GRUNTING.]
BLACK MASK: You told me you could do this without setting off alarms.
SHADOW THIEF: An unexpected glitch.
BLACK MASK: The unexpected, I always expect.
You two, get the rock.
Three-minute police response time, Number 1.
[SIRENS WAILING.]
Our response time is better.
[GRUNTING.]
ROBIN: Something from the gift shop? BLACK MASK: Now this, I expected.
[GRUNTING.]
SHADOW THIEF: Doesn't even tickle.
[GRUNTING.]
[SHADOW THIEF LAUGHS.]
MAN: Ooh! - I got him.
Robin, wait.
Okay, bad idea.
[GRUNTING.]
BLACK MASK: No more dark nights for you, Dark Knight.
SHADOW THIEF: Hawkman, what are you doing here? I'm here to take you in, Shadow Thief.
BLACK MASK: Get rid of him.
SHADOW THIEF: With pleasure.
[GRUNTING.]
[ENGINE STARTS.]
SHADOW THIEF: You got lucky.
[GRUNTS.]
MEN: Aah! BLACK MASK: Step on it.
[GRUNTING.]
Don't suppose they'll pull over and give up? I'll fire a grappling hook and reel them in.
Huh? [TIRES SQUEALING.]
[ROBIN GASPS.]
- Ejection seats? - Bad option.
Brace for impact.
That wasn't so bad.
We never hit.
Huh? Nice catch.
Couldn't let a fine vehicle like this get scratched.
HAWKMAN: I'm impressed.
Your setup here is not that much different from police headquarters back on Thanagar.
More earthbound, of course.
[COMPUTER BEEPS AND WHIRS.]
That's him.
That's Shadow Thief.
His real name is Carl Sands.
You mean he's human? Except for a missing conscience.
He thinks nothing of putting others in danger.
Of all the criminals I've fought on two planets he's the most reckless and elusive.
It's this wrist device that gives him his two-dimensional abilities.
He can make his body solid at any time, and that's the time he can be caught.
[BEEPING.]
It's done.
I hope you're not gonna say, "Dinner is served.
" It's a piece from the meteor they stole.
[WHIRRING.]
The radian analyzer shows one element unknown to Earth with antigravity properties I've never seen before.
I have.
It's called the Nth element.
It's part of my suit.
It's what gives me my strength and flying powers.
It's incredibly potent and unstable.
If this is what they're after, all of Gotham is in jeopardy.
BLACK MASK: If this stuff works like you say then the gem depository's ours for the taking.
NUMBER 1: But it's practically a fort.
Nobody's ever broken in.
BLACK MASK: You sound worried, Number 1.
Let me demonstrate how I'll do it.
You see this sample of antigravity powder? It's been chemically treated.
Once it makes contact with the air [GASPS.]
it activates.
Aah! [GRUNTS.]
BLACK MASK: I'm taking the gem depository building, all right right out of the ground.
Are you worried anymore, Number 1? No.
No, Black Mask.
No, I'm not.
BLACK MASK: You should be.
[SCREAMS.]
BLACK MASK: You.
You're my new Number 1.
I think that honor is due me.
Huh.
Hiring you put another costumed cop on my tail.
This caper was difficult enough without your flyboy around.
Don't worry.
I have a little diversion in mind that'll keep him and the Bat quite busy.
ROBIN: An anonymous tip on Shadow Thief.
Tell me this isn't a trap.
HAWKMAN: Maybe not.
BATMAN [OVER COMM-LINK.]
: Got anything? I see him.
The train.
SHADOW THIEF: That's right, Hawkman.
Next stop, the moon.
[LAUGHS.]
[GASPS.]
He used the Nth element.
How far up will it go? It'll never stop.
PASENGER 1:Oh! PASSENGER 2: Oh, my gosh.
[GRUNTING.]
[BEEPING.]
The element's in place.
BLACK MASK: Get ready.
[RUMBLING.]
[ALARMS WAILING.]
[BOTH GASP.]
[HAWKMAN GRUNTING.]
- We're losing it.
- Hold on.
[GRUNTING.]
Can someone tell me what Shadow Thief thought he was doing? Keeping us away from the real crime.
Huh? HAWKMAN: Anyone need a lift? Batman, thank heavens.
Black Mask and his gang are emptying the vault.
You better get them out of here.
We'll take care of Black Mask.
I hope you guys haven't just eaten.
BOTH: Oh! [BEEPING.]
BLACK MASK: It's payday, boys.
[GRUNTING.]
You still owe the state [GRUNTING.]
SHADOW THIEF: Time to fly, bird boy.
[YELLING.]
SHADOW THIEF: Don't wanna leave you out, Batman.
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Where's a blimp when you need one? You wouldn't like the ozone, son.
Trust me.
[YELLING.]
Thanks.
Gotta get back to Batman.
[BEEPING.]
[GRUNTING.]
SHADOW THIEF: Going somewhere? I thought bats like to fly.
[GRUNTING.]
BLACK MASK: Nothing will save you now, Batman.
[BLACK MASK GRUNTS.]
SHADOW THIEF: Aah! No! [GRUNTING.]
Huh? Nice job.
Back on top.
[RUMBLING.]
[GRUNTING.]
It's gonna drop.
[GRUNTING.]
[ROBIN YELLING.]
You get the feeling this is gonna make the local news? MAN [ON TV.]
: This was the scene today as Hawkman took custody of the Shadow Thief for a flight back to Midway City.
In a related story, scuba divers have finally recovered the last of the jewels from the gem depository after Black Mask's daring robbery.
And though the city's lost a building it seems to have gained a new water attraction.
[CHATTERING AND LAUGHING.]
Where are you going? To get my bathing suit.