The L Word s05e11 Episode Script

Previously on The L Word Let's move in together.
- Really - Yeah.
Yeah, let's do it.
Why not? We are going to make a movie.
We are? Oh Cut.
Print.
Do you think this is gonna be one of those movie things? Or do you think we're actually going to make it? I'm going to love you forever.
I just want something to scare somebody.
I only really recommend one gun for home defense.
It's easy to use, the name is good, the trigger pulls quickly, and the recoil is low.
Are you having an affair with Bette? Jodi is going to be devastated.
I've always been in love with her.
I love Tina.
Are you cheating on me? - She looks a little chubby - Hang on, let me just pull it just here.
- She must - We're still working on it.
- This is just a brief cut.
- Okay.
I never thought Bette would lie and cheat and sneak around on me and treat me just as badly as every man I've ever been with.
I thought women would be better somehow.
I know you're all sitting there judging me.
And I think I deserve it.
I fucked up.
There's something I need to say.
- We should go.
- Yeah.
- Absolutely.
- Stay.
Please.
If you have something to say, go ahead, say it in front of our friends.
Nina, I just left the plomber's house.
You - just came from her house? - I told her that I loved you.
That you're the love of my life.
And I'm never gonna see her again.
If I'm the love of your life, what did you fuck her?! Bev I'm so sorry, Nina.
You shouldn't have cheated on me.
What can I do to help you to forgive me? We both need to set a time for us, for our relationship.
I want to, Nina.
I don't wanna lose you.
We belong together.
Thank God.
I don't know what I would have done if they'd split up.
They're like the best couple that ever lived.
They really are.
They're role models for the rest of us.
An example for the straight world.
There's one more good reason why we should stay together.
What's that? I'm gonna have your baby! Oh, no! So, what do you think? I think I need some things to work.
I just have a few notes if you can go back to the second to Tom and Jodi are in touch.
She emailed him.
She's staying with a friend.
It's good that she has friends.
Yeah, but we are her friends too.
I'm sorry, I don't mean to be rude.
Apologies.
I'm sorry.
I'm having a day.
Did he say which friend? I'm not sure.
Amy maybe.
Have you not spoken to her at all? She hasn't returned any of my messages.
- Oh! Would you blame her? - I'm not blaming her.
Ladies, please, don't fight.
I can't stand it when sisters do that.
Jenny, this isn't a scene in your movie.
You don't have to direct it.
Stay out of it, Alice.
You are so PMS-ing.
Please.
I'm not PMS-ing.
You're the one that's PMS-ing.
You've been flying off the handle over every single thing this morning.
I'm so glad I don't have to go through that anymore.
- I second that emotion.
- Tina, - what time is my call today? - I don't know your call time, okay? This is the whole crew.
I don't know when everyone comes up.
Hello, ladies.
Hey, gang's all here.
Look at that, babe.
What's the matter? You all look a little down.
What is it? PMS? Did you all sync up on the Subaru pink ride? Look, uh, Denbo, what's up? Are we still cool what I do? Oh, oh, yeah.
We're so very excited to tell you, guys.
My lover Cindi and I met an old friend of yours.
Does the name Ivan Aycock ring a bell? - You saw Ivan? - Yeah.
Wasn't easy to find ol' Ivan, let me tell you, but I have my ways.
Anyway, anyway.
I tracked her down, and uh, God bless her, she couldn't have been happier to unload her 51% of The Planet.
I would say that she was actually practically gleeful to sell it to me.
- How fucking dare you?! - You know what? Get the fuck out of here! Oh, really? Oh, honey, they're telling us to get the fuck out of here.
Well, you can't really tell us to get the fucking out of here because we own this place.
What?! - You motherfucking liar! - Kit! Okay, okay, we're leaving.
But we'll be back, with a decorator, 'cause I tell you, this place does need of a serious makeover.
Ciao! Looks like somebody got here before me.
- Jodi, I'm so sorry - Why is she talking to me? Doesn't she know I'm deaf? - Where do you wanna go? - It's up to you.
- You don't have a car? - I've got called a cab.
Well, I have some meetings I need to reschedule.
Do what you have to do.
Hey, James, it's me.
Listen, I have something that I need to take care of this morning.
Can you reschedule my morning meetings? Yes, the one with Phyllis.
I don't care what you have to tell her.
Just tell her I have wicked P.
M.
S.
I don't know.
She probably doesn't even remember what that feels like.
Okay, great.
Alright.
Thank you.
- Listen, if you have to go to work - No, I don't need to go to work.
But I know how busy you are.
And I don't want it to be a problem for you.
This is the most important thing in the world to me.
What is? This.
You and me.
Here is 20.
No, no, no, it's okay.
It's on me.
Are you and Bette planning on moving in together? No, we're not planning anything.
I mean, she has to talk to Jodi first.
You know, I gotta tell you, Tina, I really respect you for showing some restraint and holding back.
I do.
Well, it's about time.
- Jesus! - What? Jenny had an art department meeting this morning, and she missed it, and Adele went in her place instead.
Wait, shouldn't Adele make sure that Jenny knew about the meeting? Yeah, Max is right.
She should have told her.
I'm sure she tried.
I gotta go, you guys.
I gotta fix this.
- 20? - No, I Oh, good.
You don't get to do this.
You have no right to be the one who does this.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I never meant to I never meant for this to happen.
What happened? I don't even know what's happening! Afterwards, I don't seem to know.
But I'm there to talk to you.
Did you and that woman fuck? I don't know who you're talking about.
Did you fuck her? Are you fucking? How long has this been going on? It's not about fucking.
I don't know how it happened.
I think that Tina and I, we just we just never really finished, - you know, and we have Angelica - I know you have Angelica.
But it isn't just about Angelica.
We have so much history, and there's I don't think that we realized how strong the connection and there's just still so much that hasn't been resolved.
So fucking her resolved it? - I told you - Oh, I know.
It's not about fuck.
I know.
Are you in love with her? - It's very complicated.
- Of course it's complicated.
I'm asking if you love her.
Yes.
I love her.
Do you love me? Yes, I love you.
I do.
No, no, no, no I'm gonna fight for you.
I like it.
I mean, it doesn't have as much character as my building, but, it's a house.
It will be our house.
- The rent's way too expensive.
- It's not that expensive.
It's eight times of my apartment in Long Beach.
Well, we'll be splitting the rent, so Okay, well, four times as much.
We don't have to split the rent exactly down the middle.
Yes we fuckin' do! If I get the job, I'll be making a lot of money.
Alice, can we just please keep looking? I hope you bleed soon.
I really do.
Fuck you! - Hi.
Twelve in the morning.
- Okay, thanks.
How was the bike ride? Oh, God, wow, it was it was hard.
Yeah, well, you're in good shape.
Not really, I hell hope that was.
So, so, how was your week end? - I'm ready to get back to work.
- Well, good.
That's good.
I think it's a problem we won't worry about today.
Niki be going a nightmare.
You know what? I think everything's gonna be just fine.
You do? I never thought I'd say this, but I actually think that Jenny's got some - Talent? - She's making some really interesting stylistic choices and Last night I was watching daylies and I thought to myself: "Oh my God! We might have a really good movie".
Can you come to the conference room, please? Sure.
I'll see you on set.
What is it now? Take a seat.
Okay.
Does someone wanna tell us what this is all about? Here we go.
- Harder? - Harder, yeah.
I love you fucking me.
Enough.
Enough! Cut it off! Who did this? Well, I think it's fair to say that you and Niki did it.
This was a private tape.
- Who has seen this abomination? - It's not an abomination.
Nobody's seen it.
Yet.
There are 25 more copies.
And each one of them is logged, addressed and ready to go out to Letterman, Leno, Oprah, Ellen, Fox, E!, the National Enquirer, Star, Hola!, Hello, Perez Hilton but none of them have seen it yet, and frankly, I would like to never have to send it.
What is it that you want, Adele? Tina, look, this is not about what I want.
This is about this film.
This is about "Lez Girls".
This is about this incredibly important and powerful and significant film that has the opportunity to change hearts and minds and affect the lives of millions of people.
And it mustn't be tainted by a scandal caused by the the inexcusably reckless and tot completely entitled behavior of the very few people entrusted with this opportunity.
I'm gonna call William, and I'm gonna tell, I'm gonna tell him what a disgusting he'd be.
I've shown them the tape, and I've spoken to William at length, and he agrees with me that the situation has become untenable.
What is it that you want, Adele? - Stop.
Jodi, stop! Stop! - What? I can't do this.
It's not right.
I don't want to do this with you.
Fuck! - Where are you going? - To go kill myself.
Move! - Please, please don't do this.
- Let me go! I can't let you go.
Why? Can you make up your mind? I thought you wanted to get rid of me! I can't let you go when you're threatening to hurt yourself.
I'm not going to kill myself over you.
Don't flatter yourself.
Jodi.
I really care for you so deeply, but I am not going to walk away and just turn my back on you and let you hate me.
I'm going to fight for this relationship.
Look, I have to go to school.
- I have two meetings - Stop, stop, stop! So please, Bette, have some respect for me.
I have total respect for you.
Now, what do you want me to do? Niki, come here.
Niki, please come here.
I have to talk to you.
- What? What's going on? - We have to get out of here.
What's wrong? Someone get their hold on that tape that we made on the Pink Ride.
And they're trying to extort and blackmail the production.
- Wait, wait - So we've got to get out of here.
- What tape? The tape in the tent? - Yes, this tape.
- Jenny, get away from her! Niki? - Oh my God! - Kevin, do you know about that? - No, no, wait, Niki.
- Get away from her.
- Kevin, do you? - Yes, I do.
Come here.
- He doesn't care about you.
Don't listen to him.
He just cares about his fucking paycheck.
He doesn't care about the movie that we're trying to make, okay? I want, I want you guys to know what's going on here.
That these people are, they're, they're, they're traitors.
And they're soulless.
And they're trying to ruin this movie.
Okay, that's enough.
Alright.
Somebody call security right now.
- Yeah, you heard him.
Please.
- Wait! - Just give one second with her.
- So, if anybody has any integrity, come with me.
You can come with me, you can stand up to these people.
So, who wants to come with me? Who's Hey, who's with me? I'm with you.
Yeah? Great.
Do you wanna come with me? Would you please escort Miss Schecter out of the lot? Wait, wait, wait, just give me a second.
Jenny, look at me.
Please, come with me.
Alright? I am on your side.
I promise you, I'm on your side.
Let me walk you out of here.
Please Please.
Please come with me? - Please - Shane I'll talk to her.
Niki, you're under contract.
Come on.
Let's go.
Alright, everybody back to work.
How are we supposed to be back to work without a director? The director is here.
Because our relationship will be unbalanced if you pay a bigger portion of the rent.
I will be out of balance if you make me live in a shithole.
A shithole? This is nicer than any place I've ever lived in.
Alright, we can talk about this later.
After the taping.
I have to get ready.
We'll go for diner, or something.
I don't know.
I'm going to Long Beach.
I don't know if I'll be back in time.
You're not coming to my taping? I didn't know you wanted me to go.
Why would No, but if it's that important to you, then, - I mean, I don't know, I'll go.
- Whatever.
Look, it's just that a bunch of my friends are gonna be there and it's kinda like important to them.
I'll TiVo it for you.
It's okay.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I need you to listen to me, alright? Listen to me and trust me.
Why should I trust you, Tina? Because I'm as stunned as you are.
Alright? I feel like a fucking idiot.
Just this morning, I defended Adele.
I have to get off this set.
- I gotta get out of here.
- Stay here.
Listen.
- I need you to listen to me.
Do not - Tina, I have to get out of here.
Listen, listen to me right now, okay? Do not do anything stupid.
Do not retaliate, okay? Do not get in the way of production.
Talk to your agents.
Let them help you.
And later you can call Niki if you'd like to.
She's dead to me.
I'm sorry.
I know how much that must hurt.
I understand.
Do you understand? Okay, fine, Jenny, maybe I could not understand that, alright? It's just I need you to give me some time to figure out how to fix this, okay? There's no way I'm going to let that bitch walk away with our movie.
It is our movie.
It's our movie.
It is our movie.
Oh, Tina.
Don't be afraid.
I'm sorry.
Fuck! It's okay.
Let just keep rolling.
Back to ones and we're set.
And action.
Come on.
Don't be afraid.
I'm so afraid.
I'm sorry.
I want you to try it again.
Karina, jog Jessie toward you.
That's good.
Jessie, tilt your head up.
close your eyes, like it's happening to you, like you're not in control of your own body.
It's good.
Let your lips apart.
Karina, kiss Jessie.
That's nice.
Excellent.
Very nice.
Cut.
Okay.
That's a cut everyone.
Let's try to reset.
Okay everyone.
We're going to do it once more and then we'll turn around on Jessie.
Sam, can I get a little pushing this time as Karina's lips touch Jessie's? - Thanks.
- So let's reset, everyone.
Hey Niki.
It was really beautiful.
Thank you.
This is Bette Porter.
You've reached my cellphone.
Leave a message.
Where are you? I really need to talk to you.
You won't believe what's happening here.
It's fucking crazy.
Just can you call me back? Call me back when you can, okay? All right, I'm going to try you at the home phone.
This is "The Look" with Sandra Husy and Mary Lamm.
and back with us again today, our special guest host, - Alice Pieszecki.
- Thank you, thank you.
And today we have fashion designer, Clea Mason, who won the price for Best New Designer at last year Junior Fashion Show.
That's right.
And she's here today to present her super hot, super androgynous menswear-influenced fall collection.
Just your style, huh, Alice? Well, actually, Mary, I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm actually pretty much a femme.
Yeah.
- Femme? - Oh, yeah.
Totally girlie girl.
Dresses, girlish pumps.
Thank you.
But bring on those boyish babes in their hot butch fall fashion, huh? Woo! Spare us, Alice.
Oh, come on, Mary, you know you want to try it.
All you straight girls do.
Well I don't.
Tsk, tsk.
Don't protest too much.
I don't know what you're insinuating, but I'll have you know not everyone is gay.
And thank God for that.
Well, we'll be right back after this.
And Clea Mason, everyone! Well, welcome to the show.
- Thank you.
- Come joining us.
- Ladies.
- Hi.
- I love you.
- Thank you.
Nice to meet you.
- Have a seat.
- Thanks.
So, Clea, what inspires you to dress women? I don't know it's, um it's, um I bet it's the same reason that I like to undress them.
That sounds about right.
So, let's, let's talk underwear.
What do you like women to wear under your clothes? Well, um I like boxers or braids because it kinda makes you feel like a 14 year-old boy.
Which is liberating for women.
Oh yeah? And totally hot.
Exactly.
It's also sexy, I think, to wear like lingerie under men's clothes.
Totally, totally hot.
And we'll be right back after this.
Why did she get fired? I can't tell you.
But all I can tell you is that it's really bad.
- I'm worried about her, Tina.
- Me too.
I think you should go and be with her.
I just have to figure it out.
I feel bad.
I don't wanna leave in a urge, but You know what? I was just looking at this and I think Begonia's fine with Juliana.
I'm just, you know, - I'm just worried about Niki.
- Oh fuck Niki, Tina.
Come on! You know, she had no choice, okay? She couldn't walk out with Jenny otherwise she would have been under breach of contract, alright? - She did the right thing.
- No, she didn't.
This is Bette Porter.
You've reached my cellphone.
Leave a message.
Bette, I'm in trouble.
I'm gonna do something bad.
I've rescheduled the texto department staff meeting, but they really need some time with you.
Did you tell them it was a family emergency? Yeah, of course.
They understood.
Dean Porter? Oh, Freddy.
- I'm so sorry I missed your presentation.
- It's okay.
Just make sure you come see the other, okay? - Absolutely.
- The press will be there.
The Thesis Review Board is fine to wait until monday.
Phyllis had to go to Sacramento, so we had to postpone that meeting anyway.
- Oh, good.
- Although there's something else I thought you might wanna hear about.
We got a call from W Magazine.
I love W.
I know it's your favorite magazine.
That's why I thought you wanna hear about this right away.
They wanna do a story on the two of you.
- On Bette and me? - Yeah.
After the Ellen DeGeneres cover was such a hot item, they want to do something on, like, power lesbian couples? They want you to be the, the art power couple.
So they want to photograph you guys at the, at Jodi's Hammer Museum opening.
But it's coming fast.
So we need to let them know.
What should I tell them? - Yes.
- No.
Sorry I've kept you waiting.
Goodbye and good days, see you tomorrow, oh, and don't forget to log on our website after the show to let us know whether you want Alice to become a permanent fixture on "The Look".
Of course they do.
- See you later.
- Bye bye.
Wow? How was it? Do your cheeks hurt from all of the smiling you have to do.
- Oh, Alice.
- Can I get water? Okay, I'll see you.
Okay.
I'm Alice.
How are you? Hi.
Thanks for coming.
Please vote for me.
Tell your friends.
Don't you want me? Would you excuse me? I'm sorry.
Thanks.
- I'm sorry.
- That's okay.
I just wanted to invite you to a party next week on the Venice boardwalk.
It's fashion week and we're having this outdoor fashion show.
"Outdoor fashion show", right there.
- I would love to come.
Thank you.
- Oh, good.
I wanna get one of those little scooters.
Well, I could take you for a ride on mine.
I think you have a fan.
Tasha?! W I want you to meet Clea Mason.
- No? Okay.
- Hi.
- Alright.
I hope you could come.
- I'm definitively gonna be there.
Thanks for the invite.
- What are you doing here? - I didn't go.
'Cause of me? You looked great.
I got here late, but the audience, they really like you.
I'm really glad you stayed.
How was the meeting? You know we can't be part of that piece.
It would be dishonest.
Dishonest how? They're writing about couples and we're not a couple.
We're not? Because it's just not working.
I meant our friendship.
I don't think that therapy is the answer, Jodi.
Why? I don't wanna go to therapy.
- I've had enough therapy.
- But you owe it to me.
Jodi, I wanted so much for this relationship to work.
I love who you are.
I love how you stand in the world.
I love your talent; I love your passion; I love your anger; but you and I are just fundamentally different.
We have different core values.
- What are my values? - It doesn't matter.
It's not a judgment.
What matter is that there's been something missing for me.
Something that is hard to define.
And I have been desperately just trying to create this thing, and just looking for it.
But I I've been just flailing.
And I realize now that you and I, we're never going to find it.
How do you know? Because I have it with someone else.
I'm sorry to interrupt, but Melissa just called.
Is everything okay? Well she has food poisoning or something and she can't pick up Angie from her playday.
Okay, thank you.
- Do you have to go now? - No.
- Who are you calling? - Tina.
We didn't sign on to do an Adele Channing movie.
Look, this happens all the time and there's business, okay? Director gave you place, you have to roll with it.
You have a phone call Well, is it true she's gonna fire Niki? No.
Is it true Shane quit? Excuse me.
I have to take this.
Bette, I can't talk.
I'm in a meeting.
Look, Melissa's sick and I'm not gonna be able to pick Angie at the playgroup - I was wandering if you could pick her up.
- No, I can't.
It's total chaos here.
- Where are you? - I'm at school.
Jodi's here.
- Still? - I'm trying my best.
I'll tell you about it later, okay? Okay.
Fine.
Babe, what's taking you so long? I messed up.
Well, hurry up, alright? We want it for 6' for showtime.
You have a phone call Bette, I can't talk right now.
Listen, I am in such a bind.
Alright? Melissa's sick.
And, and, I was wandering if, you know, maybe you could pick up Angie from playgroup.
I'm sorry, I'm not gonna be able to get there in time.
Alright, alright, alright, I'll be there.
Do you want a ride home? Suck.
Never again am I gonna avail myself to someone with such generosity and an open heart and show her the ropes and teach her everything I know.
You can't let Adele do that to you.
No, I'm talking about Niki.
- Oh, fuck Niki.
- I did.
She's fucking worthless.
Damn all those actors.
She should be on the cover of Maxim.
Hey, I'm not in love with her anymore.
Good.
She's dead to me.
- Niki's dead? - She doesn't exist anymore.
Ding, dong, Niki's dead? It's like a wicked witch.
- Yeah, that's right.
- No.
Like a wicked that, like, wicked witch! Okay.
She pretends to be like all sweet and all innocent, right? And like she's like, "I think you're like the greatest writer ever, and, like I wanna be just like you" - And, you know - Well, she's an actor.
That's what they do.
- No, Adele.
- Who? Adele! Adele? Oh God, Adele Jenny, Adele is - What? - She's a snake.
A snake in the grass.
She's She's a fucking serpent.
I have terrible cramps.
You do? Can I have another hit off the bong? I was about to give you a compliment though.
What? - I admire you.
- You do? I think you're a real survivor.
Ever since you got here.
Yeah, you got that.
And then you're all Oh but seriously, like you're really You got knocked down a few times, but look at you, you got back up and - you wrote your story.
- Yeah.
You put it up there.
That's big.
I haven't done that.
I'm going to throw the compliment right back at you.
Oh yeah? - What's that? - You didn't have to come with me today.
It's solidarity.
Look at that.
You gave me my job.
You're my best friend.
You know that.
So, of course I would do that.
It's the truth.
Do you need a ride? Tom is coming picking me up.
I wanna call you about about my Hammer speech I want you to read.
This was gonna be your birthday present.
Whatever.
Hey you, guys.
Max, - the oracle.
- Max, you're the shit.
I gotta listen to you.
You guys are so stoned.
Max, Adele has fucked me over.
- Really? - Yeah.
- I'm sorry.
- Have a seat.
- Welcome to my house.
- What happened? Would you like some cannabis? - Yeah.
- I should have listened to you.
I should have listened to you.
Oh yes.
Hang on, baby girl.
I'll be right there.
Brown rice pudding and organic oatmeal raisin cookies.
Your mama would Hi, Angelica.
Guess what I've got for you.
Cookie and Hi, pretty.
Let me have your toy.
Let share.
Okay? Let share.
Oh God! Can I have it? Guess who's here?! - Look! - Hey, hi baby girl.
Who's that? Mama T.
Yeah.
Oh! - And mama B.
- Mama B.
is here.
- She's here, honey.
- Hi you, pumpkin pie.
I missed you.
You would not believe the day I had.
I bet I could give you a run for your money.
And I could give you both a run for your money.
I promise you that Dawn Denbo and her lover Cindi are not going to get their hands on The Planet.
You know, that's not important.
You know, what's important is this beautiful baby girl and her wonderful mommies.
You're sweet.
You say thank you to aunt Kitty? You wanna go home? Let's ask mama T.
if she wanna go home, maybe.
Go home! Do you wanna? Yeah.
- Thank you.
Thank you.
- It's okay.