Bad Girls (1999) s05e12 Episode Script

How long have l got? About 78°/º of women with cancer like yours survive for over five years.
Five bleedin' years? lf Betts is up for the chop, this place will be run by liars.
You what? They're stitching her up.
Merriman planted another suicide note.
Police found it.
''Mr Fenner is all right.
But she wants him out of Larkhall.
''l don't know why Miss Betts hates him so much.
'' lt's all rubbish.
Lies.
Karen Betts has screwed up big time, Di.
We're looking at a new wing governor.
Play our cards right, that could be you.
- l've got a surprise for you.
- A camera? l'm sorry, Karen, l did what l could.
But Area, they're adamant.
They want you off G Wing and out of Larkhall.
You're sacked.
This is ludicrous.
lf anyone's head should roll, it's Fenner's.
He's the prime bloody problem on G-Wing.
Tell that to the investigating officer, Karen.
But you know where the buck stops.
Right, well, you'd better accept my resignation.
- Let me work my notice.
- That is not an option.
(Scoffs) lt's my only chance to clear my name.
Unless you're trying to humiliate me.
Don't be ridiculous.
You're only humiliating yourself, dragging this out.
Maybe.
But if you don't let me try, l'll take you to a tribunal.
Don't pretend you can threaten me.
What if it came out about you sexually assaulting Fenner? Night of your stag party, wasn't it? Well, that's a load of crap.
As l'm sure he wouldn't hesitate to confirm.
People might think it's why you're protecting his mucky past.
You're on a hiding to nothing, Karen.
There you go.
Come on, quickly.
Come on, down you come.
Come on, girls.
Come on.
That's it.
(Man) Keep coming, down you come.
Come on.
Come on, quickly now.
Come on.
Come on, give us your bag.
Noreen flaming Biggs.
Won't you ever learn? Don't tell me, miss.
lt's the police that need the lecture.
Locking up an old lady, just for forgetting to pay for her son's birthday present.
has he got, then? You know there are some countries look after their old people.
l'd be better off living in Calcutta.
(Coughs) State of you.
You want to stop that disgusting habit.
(Coughs) Here, l paid good money for those! l doubt that very much.
And you can put that out for starters.
OK, let's get her processed and down to D Wing.
D Wing? No, all me mates is up on G Wing.
Prison isn't a social club.
You should know that by now.
Come on, miss.
l ain't well.
l need a few familiar faces round me.
You're lucky you won't see more of mine.
Give her a twirl.
l'll do the mugs.
You all right, Tine? Brilliant! Can't believe you wangled it - me own cell! Yeah, well, you deserve it, love.
- Soany luck with the photos? - Maybe.
Don't piss me about.
lf you have, just give us the camera.
l'm sorry.
lt's just that l'm Well, l'm in a difficult position.
What, cos of the camera or cos you know, you fancy me? You do, don't ya? Course l do.
Who wouldn't? You can snog me if you like.
l'vegot to be professional, love.
Can't mouth off about Hedges and Atkins if l'm doing the same.
l won't say nothing.
And that's why l wouldn't take advantage.
l've got to keep my feelings to myself.
l've got principles.
So, have you got anything for me? No, sorry.
l seen them together but l ain't got close enough.
l'm trying.
Don't waste the films for the sake of it.
All l need is one good shot, right? (Cell door opens) You coming back to work, Tine? Just, er, make sure you dry the floor properly, right? Don't want any accidents, do we? l heard about your husband.
Bloody shame.
Mouth shut, turn head.
Just saying so you'll understand.
Truth is, l'm on my way out too, Miss Hollamby.
- Other side.
- Straight up.
l've been told what's what and don't want to spend the rest of my days with strangers.
That's why l come back here, innit? What you've cost taxpayers over the years, you're due no favours.
Taxpayer will get his.
l've got a few quid under me mattress.
All stolen, l'm sure.
l've got no one to leave it to.
What about your son with the 15 necks? He'd just drink it.
The booze he could buy with four grand.
No, l'd rather leave it to them that cares for me.
l can't take it with me, can l? Dabs.
What l'm saying is, if my little nest egg can help me through my final hour, well, that's what it's for, innit? Rainy day? lt's bleedin' pouring down now, miss.
Yes, well, there are some things you can't buy.
- And l'm one of them.
- Wouldn't be buying nothing.
A favour for a favour, that's all.
Does the donkey sanctuary need it more than you? (Coughs) Here, l'll get you some water.
Christ, Fenner's going to hang me out to dry when you're gone.
Not necessarily.
l've negotiated some time to work my notice.
And l'll need your help to use it.
You ain't gonna use my affidavit? You said it wasn't enough to nail him.
Pimping a prisoner? Coercing another officer to plant drugs? Should be, shouldn't it? With just your word for it, it isn't, so don't panic.
We need something else to back it up.
Something more concrete.
Sit down.
Noreen! Hello, girls.
Hello, love.
- Are you back after my job again? - Oh, yeah! ln your dreams! - What you doing back? - (Coughing) Come to see how you're getting on.
What do you think of that? (Coughs and wheezes) l'm doing fine, Nor.
On the twos now.
Got me own cell.
Got a bloke, and all.
Ooh, nice one, love! (Laughs) Who is it, bit of crumpet from the works? No, it's a secret.
What, from me and your mates? Totally unfit for any labour.
She said she was ill, but you know these lying lead-swingers.
- She's ready to cough her last.
- Poor old stick.
No, poor old me's got to find her a bed on the hospital wing.
No, Malcolm.
lt's my burden.
Until needs absolutely must.
OK.
(Coughs and wheezes) Sorry.
How did it go, then? Erm (Sniffs) - She's leaving? - Done deal.
Oh, my God.
Seriously? She'll have to work her notice but the job's as good as yours.
Notice? But l thought you were giving her the sack.
But under the circumstances, it's quicker to let her resign.
Don't worry, l'll have it in writing first thing tomorrow.
Cheer up, it's happening.
lt's just a little wait.
Think of it as time to prepare for your interview.
(Yvonne) Look what the cat dragged in! (Excited chatter) What are you doing here? Needed a holiday, didn't l? Sothinks to meself, mm, Larkhall.
Where else, eh? (Laughs) (Wheezes, coughs and retches) You're not well, Noreen.
You shouldn't be in this dump.
Come on, sit down.
(Breathless) l'm fine.
This is where l wanna be.
Well, we can't expect you to climb stairs.
Someone will have to shift.
Well, l'll go.
Get me away from these dykes.
You, Hoskins.
Get your stuff.
You're moving.
Wait here, Noreen.
Get your breath back.
Oh.
Thanks, miss.
(Denny) Someone slipped Bodybag a nice pill or what? - l'll get you a cuppa, love.
- Oh, thanks, Ju.
Nice one.
There's a bugger l hoped l'd never see again.
Oh.
He's a gent, really.
He's pretty fit for his age and all.
Oh, my God.
- Don't tell me - Don't say nothing.
Promise? Jim Fenner's your worst nightmare, Tine.
He's done a lot for me.
Honest.
(Croaking) What the bleedin' hell for? Tell me he ain't been fiddling with you.
No.
But he wants to.
Obviously.
He says he fancies me rotten but it's against professional conduct, innit? What everyone says about him being evil, yeah? lt's just bollocks.
Yeah.
And l'm Victoria Beckham.
- There you go, love.
- Oh.
Thanks, love.
- How's your other half? - Ju? Oh, she's having a lie-down just now.
(Coughs and wheezes) l could do with one of them myself.
OK, Noreen.
Let's get you settled.
Bring your tea.
Come on, you're in number five.
See you.
- (Coughs) - Hurry up, come on.
That's it.
l won't be a minute.
There you are.
All comfy now.
Couldn't do me Couldn't do me a favour, could you, miss? - What's that, then? - Me old job.
ln the servery.
Working with Tina.
lt's how l'd like to spend what little time l've got left.
To be honest, l think that girl could do with looking after.
(Coughs) But you've been told you're not fit.
You can't go coughing all over the food.
lt's not hygienic.
My last will and testament, miss.
Just need a pen to fill your name in.
(Wheezes) l don't know, Noreen, but if it's what you really want it's better than you lying here on your own worrying.
- There's two Ls.
- Oh.
(Mutters) You'll need to get it signed by two witnesses to make it legal.
- You coming to watch Corrie? - Two ticks, love.
- Witnesses? - Best not inmates, though.
l'll ask the nurse.
She comes round to give the medicines.
Right, well, early rise tomorrow for, ermservery duties.
l don't know why anybody calls you a fat Nazi, miss.
As far as l'm concerned, you're a bloody saint.
(Coughs) Here! l saved you a seat.
- Jammie Dodger, Nor? - Oh, thanks.
(Karen) Noreen Biggs is back but go easy on her.
She's gone downhill since her last visit, looks like death warmed up.
And the senior investigator's coming in as part of the prison service inquiry into Merriman's death.
Now, l know the rumour machine's been hard at it.
So my letter of resignation won't come as any surprise.
Now they can have their very own fall guy.
Well, it's a big woman can admit she's not up to the job.
Don't worry, Jim, l'll be working out my notice.
There's plenty of time for goodbyes.
(Di) Can l just say you'll be much missed? Look, erm, me and Neil are having drinks at the end of afternoon shift.
Anyone on a split's invited.
Maybe we could raise a glass for Miss Betts then.
(Murmurs of approval) Well, thank you, Di.
OK, folks.
Open shop.
What's this? lt's not Neil's birthday, is it? No, just a get-together.
Don't be late.
- Wotcha, Nor! - l brought you another helper.
Oh, here we go.
Déjà bloody vu.
So what, am l on shit parcels now? Keep your hair on, Johnston.
What's left of it.
She's here to assist, not take over.
l've told her not to do anything strenuous.
Any heavy lifting you can do yourselves.
You've made a sick woman very happy, miss.
l won't forget it.
Mind you take it easy or Dr Nicholson will have my backside.
Ooh! - (Coughs) - lt'll be just like old times.
- Remember them cheese straws? - My secret recipe.
We can make 'em for the girls tonight.
Something special, eh? Yeah, well, we got 80 lunches to dish out first.
Get moving.
l'll fetch this up to Ju.
Right namby-pamby she turned into since she took up this poetry lark.
Ain't no one told you, Nor? Ju's got breast cancer.
That's what took the stuffing out of her.
Oh.
l see.
Bollocks.
Ain't right, at her age.
Least l lived a life.
Eh? l'm for it, love.
Not in me boobs.
Just everywhere else.
Lungs, liver l'm riddled.
Shit! - You said you was OK! - Oi! Oi, stop that.
l ain't here for tears.
l come back cos this is where l wanna pop off.
With me mates, right? So best not go telling anyone else, all right? l promise.
- Promise? - l promise.
Right.
Right.
Soslap a smile on your face and let's make the most.
Bleedin' hell, Ju.
You've got to eat something.
What's the matter? You was doing so well.
See how big your appetite is when they tell you you're dying.
- No one said that.
- Yeah? Do you know how many thousands that bastard kills each year? l'll be lucky if l last another five.
That's what they said.
You're a stupid bitch, talking like that.
Sometimes l think you wanna bloody die.
Top-up? Wonder what this is all in aid of? They're up to something.
lt's all over Grayling's face.
- Karen? - Oh, thanks.
How'd it go with the inspectors? l made sure he knows who l'd sling out.
(Neil) OK, everyone, please? Erm, the reason Di and l have invited you here is, er, because we have something to announce.
(Sylvia) Well, it's never twins.
We wanted to tell you before the Chinese whispers start.
Since so many of you were involved in our wedding, we felt we owed it to you to be honest.
Di and l, well, we're getting divorced.
l know it's a shame but it's all perfectly amicable.
Yeah.
Yes.
We realised it was a mistake for both of us.
We still love each other but things have been going wrong for some time.
Well, far be it from me, but may l point out you have a baby on the way? Yes.
Yes.
Erm This is the bit you've been waiting for.
Erl've got a new partner.
Tony.
Yes, that's Tony for Anthony.
Sweet Jesus.
May l point out that l knew? Neil wasn't unfaithful - it's just when things - Quite right.
Di's agreed to have the baby on our behalf.
A surrogate mother.
This just gets better and better.
l've never been one for school runs and nappy changing myself.
And as l said, we're all still friends and everybody's happy.
So, go ahead, have a good old gossip and then let's get on with our jobs.
- Well - Oh, yeah.
But first a toastto Karen.
ln appreciationand respect.
Ugh! Spare me.
Well, the bar's still open.
What's up? Some lawyer.
Wants to come and see me about my trial.
Why? You saying you done it, innit? Good excuse for a skive, though.
Aye, right enough.
Maybe l should kill somebody else, get the whole week off shit parcels.
lf you want suggestions, start with that wanker Hedges.
Can't stand the bastard.
Cheese straw, ladies? With your cuppa? Freshly made.
(Pointedly) Thank you very much, Noreen.
Mmm, delicious! Makes a change from the mouldy buns we usually get.
- Yeah.
- Sorry.
Very nice they are too.
Leave it.
Leave it now, Tine.
Come on, l need a sit-down.
lt's like a personal insult every time l bring it up.
She thinks l'm trying to hurt her.
So l end up having to let her help me so she feels better.
She can't understand what's going on up here.
- She couldn't hack it.
- l wouldn't bet on it.
l've been there, remember? Yeah, but he was dying, your Peter.
lt was a different kind of cancer and very advanced, yes, but when the person you love is ill, you feel more for them than for yourself.
Don't get me wrong, l'm gonna fight this all the way, but if the time were to come, l'd want Ju to face up to it, not pretend it weren't happening.
l used to get a lot of strength from writing in my diaries, just to unravel my thoughts.
Didn't l say there was something funny going on in their house? The things l saw.
l should have known then and there.
l'm not sure it's even legal.
The social workers will have a field day over that baby.
l've a good mind to report them.
Yeah, well, crafty bugger's untouchable now.
That's equal opportunities for you, Sylv.
Mm, and l'm going to have to give Di some motherly advice.
Surprised? Erjust a bit.
l mean, different strokes and all that.
People make mistakes, Colin, but they can be corrected.
Neil's happy with Tony and once this little one's born, l'll be footloose and fancy-free.
Yeah, well done.
Be a sweetheart and get me a top-up.
Yeah.
Don't look so worried.
They've had the weekend to get over it.
They've had the weekend to give it seven more heads.
Once the women on the wing find out Just keep smiling.
No one can say anything we haven't got covered.
- See you in there.
- Yeah Oh! Mm-wah.
How's the new husband, then? You're a formidable wit, Jim.
What you fail to realise is, l'm happy with my life.
Can you say the same? (Sylvia) Move it! Come on, Biggs.
Or do l tell Julie and Tina you're not up to it this morning? Sick as l am, l'll be there by Tina's side.
Someone's got to protect her from you bloody perverts.
l beg your pardon? You're nothing but a dirty old man, taking advantage of a daft young girl who don't know no better.
- Sowhat's she been saying? - Huh! She wouldn't need to say nothing.
l got eyes.
(Wheezes) Now you listen to me.
Sling shit like that around and l'll slit your bloody tongue.
Pay attention, grandma! Cos l don't care how old you are - you mess with me and l'm gonna get dangerous.
- Got it? - Let go, let go! - Got it? - (Breathless) Yeah.
Let go.
- (Gasps) - Good.
We understand each other then.
l'll tell the others you'll be down in five, shall l? - Watch what you're doing.
- Sorry.
- The prick wants something.
- Yeah, and l know what.
Sex and drugs.
Why don't you shut up? She'd cut his dick off first.
- Well, l seen them - Shut it.
You're a liar.
l want the frigging truth.
Are you shagging that screw or what? What you playing at, gobbin' off like that? Don't even try and lie to me cos l'll know, yeah? l'm not gonna lie to you.
l'm not gonna say nothing.
lt's my business, OK? Shit.
Den, trust me.
You're out of order, man.
(Sylvia) Foster! Taylor.
Piggott.
Biggs.
Biggs! Took your time, then? And l want more than a bleedin' asp Noreen! - Help, for Christ's sake! - Nor! (Sylvia) No.
Don't crowd her.
- Shit, Noreen.
- Can you hear me? Stand back, give her some air.
What the hell did you say to that old witch? She's sick, Mr Fenner.
l trust her, she won't say nothing.
You better hope she croaks it before she gets a chance, you stupid fat cow.
(Karen) Get Dr Nicholson down here, right now.
- Can you hear us, darlin'? - Noreen! l'm calling an ambulance.
(Wheezing) No.
No, l ain't going nowhere.
- l want to stay here.
- You need to be in hospital.
No way.
l know what's what.
And l got rights.
(Wheezes) lt's her choice, isn't it? l want that in writing.
Fit a cannula, keep her hydrated.
She'd be lucky to last the journey.
- Godspeed to her.
- Eh? (Sylvia) l've got a soft spot, if you must know.
She's a real character.
(Scoffs) ''Boil on the taxpayer's botty'' was how you put it last l heard.
- There you go.
- Oh, cheers.
Do you get up too early for your girlfriend to make you tea? Eh? Does she do shift work as well? Sylvia said the curtains are always closed at your place and l just assumedwell, that somebody was having a lie-in.
l keep them closed cos Sylvia's a nosy cow.
(Laughs hysterically) You're dead funny, you.
Oh, l'm surprised you've still got something to laugh about, Di.
You must be going through hell on wheels with Neil.
Are you really going to hand your baby to a pair of gays? l've thought about it long and hard, Sylv.
l want my life back.
l wanna go out at night, see friends.
Can't do that with a baby, can you? Well, l think it's ridiculous.
What's that you've got there? Just a few of Noreen Biggs' bits and pieces to put by her bed.
Make her feel at home in her final hours.
ls she really that bad? - Journey's end.
- lt's awfully nice of you, Sylv.
l know what it's like to be on your own without your things round you.
When are we gonna see your new home then? Colin says you've done it up a treat.
lt's not like l haven't asked you round, Di.
You're only next door.
We could make a night of it.
No, honestly, l wouldn't want to muscle in.
- Yes, you do! - We get off early tomorrow.
How about roast chicken with all the trimmings? Fantastic! lt's a date, then.
Yeah.
(Sylvia) Here we are, Noreen.
Just brought you in a few bits and pieces.
l never thought l'd see such kindness from a screw.
Well, at the end of the day, Noreen, we're all members of the same human family.
Thought you might want these as well.
All things considered.
l don't know if l if l have the strength to draw.
l should think not.
These are the reason you're in this state.
Oh, l'm afraid it's me you'll have to tell off, Doctor.
May as well speed her to her chosen end.
Well, l won't pretend l haven't got better uses for a bed.
l don't doubt that, Malcolm.
l'm having a little dinner party in my new flat tomorrow evening.
lf you're not otherwise engaged.
- Erm - (Noreen) Miss? - Miss? - Yes, dear? (Noreen) l l need something else from my cell.
My will.
So as l can get itget it witnessed like you said.
- You mean you haven't? - You know where it is, miss.
lf you could give it to Tina O'Kane to give to me? l just need a little chat before l go.
Right.
Just you Stay calm.
Well? l hope you have good news for me with that flaming camera.
Well, nothing special.
l'm that worried about Noreen, Mr Fenner.
Oh, for crying out loud.
lf Atkins and Hedges are at it, you must be able to prove it.
Unless you've been lying as well as shooting your stupid mouth off.
They are at it.
l promise.
l just need more time.
l'm sick of your excuses, Tina.
Get me an award-winning picture pronto cos l am seriously beginning to lose my patience.
Right, you.
You're wanted on the hospital wing.
Say your goodbyes to old Noreen.
- Goodbyes? - Make sure you give her this.
Quick, go on! Here, you you keep that safe, eh? l just want to get everything to the right person, right? (Faintly) No time left.
Please, Nor.
You can get better.
Don't talk daft, love.
l'm buggered.
l need l need to tell you sorry before l go.
l know l promised you l couldn't help myself saying Fennerneededtelling to leave you (Wheezes) l know.
l know what you done.
(Whispering) Let me finish.
You probably hate me now.
And l never wanted to let you down, Tine.
Buthe's bad in the head.
He's using you, darling.
And l wanted to stop him.
Tine, watch yourself.
Please.
(Whispering) Promise me.
Promise me.
He's bad.
(Stops breathing) (Sobs) Noreen! Noreen! What a friend we have in Jesus All our sins and griefs to bear What a privilege to carry Everything to God in prayer Please be seated.
And now, finally, at Noreen's request, a few words from Tina O'Kane.
Noreen come back here cos she knew she was dying.
She wanted to be surrounded by the people she called her mates.
Us lot.
Well, she got her dying wish and wanted to leave something for the girls she felt that need it.
So she asked me to read her last will and testament.
''To Julie Saunders, l leave hope.
''Live every minute of every day like it's your last.
''You're that clever you can do anything you want.
''l'm proud to have known you.
''To Denny Blood, l leave the rest of my fags.
'' Wicked.
''So she can get lung cancer and die like me.
''Stop doing it, Den, while you still can.
''To Tina O'Kane, l leave my secret recipe for cheese straws.
'' (Sniffs) Which is what l asked her for.
So if you want more of them, you have to be nice to me.
''To Miss Hollamby, who turned out to be my best friend, ''when she found out l was dying, ''l leave what's under my mattress.
(Laughs) ''My potty.
Cos she's a two-faced, greedy old shitbag!'' (Yvonne) Way to go, Noreen! (Buki) Denied, man! That is a bare-faced lie.
''l ain't got nothing to leave anyone else, ''except a message.
''Look after each other cos you're family.
''Even if you don't know it.
'' Noreen also asked me to do something specially for her.
Which l promised l would.
Cos she's Cos she was always looking out for me.
For all of us.
And she was right.
l won't let you down, Nor! Love ya.
(All chorus) Love you, Noreen.
Right, that's your lot.
Back to work.
And if anyone uses Noreen as an excuse to bunk off, they'll answer to me.
l need to have a word with ya.
Privately.
You stupid bloody cow.
l thought Mr Fenner was on the level about the drugs.
You and Hedges was always whispering.
lt made sense he was bent.
You got this from the gob of the biggest bent screw out there? Yeah, l know that now.
And l'm really, really sorry.
l needed Noreen to put me straight.
But you and Hedges l ain't blind.
He had to be after a shag like he was off Shell Dockley, innit? You really wanna prove you're sorry? Then shut your stupid mouth and listen.
Got a surprise for you, Mr Fenner.
You won't believe the shot l got.
Halle-bloody-lujah.
Where's the camera? You'll get what you want when l get mine.
What are you after? Couple of phonecards? Sweets? Meet me at the back of the servery after lunch.
l'll make sure l'm alone.
Tina? So you've got the camera, then? lt'll be under my pillow when we're out for exercise.
With the film in it.
Listen, love, erl told ya.
l can't risk it.
After all the risks l took for you? Please, Mr Fenner Just this once? Better be quick, then.
Only cos you're begging.
l am begging, Mr Fenner.
Cheers, mate.
l ain't asking but you'd better come good with that voddy.
- Tine! - (Rattling) Oi, Tine! Where've you hidden them cheese straws? Oh, hello, sir.
Mr Fenner was trying to make me give out my secret recipe.
But l told him l promised Noreen l'd keep it safe.
Yeah, well, a promise is a promise, right? Thanks, Ju.
l tell ya, it's put me off older men for life.
What's this? l know it's not strictly kosher or nothing, but you should have enough there to break Fenner's bollocks.
- There you go.
- Cheers, Ju.
- The secret ingredient.
- Fag ash.
With cheese, flour and marge.
Good old Nor.
Cheers.
Nice one.
- Here's to her.
- Here's to her.
You should be more discreet about your time together.
People will start putting two and two together soon.
Mind you, l suppose they need proof.
Shame, eh? We're playing for serious stakes here.
l know.
Fenner's not the only one we've got to worry about.
Colin! Don't be late.
Late for what? Bloody dinner at Sylvia Hollamby's.
- With her? - She wouldn't take no.
Be the first time you've seen me without my trousers.
Yeah, right.
That didn't take her long.
Not that Mr Grayling can complain, l suppose.
- Jesus.
- All we need to know? lf it's Sylvia you're worried about, we can go back to yours.
l know we set off on the wrong foot last time, but why don't we make a fresh start? l'll make you wish you'd never heard the name Sylvia Hollamby.
Your balls are going on my mantelpiece.
l'll bloody kill you.