Comic Book Men s05e12 Episode Script
Baby Jay
1 Godzilla is the ultimate badass, right? In the monster world? - Lizard, yeah.
- Sure.
What if Superman were to take on Godzilla? - Seriously? - What are you snickering about? What uh, it's Superman.
Superman's pretty much indestructible.
But he's dwarfed by Godzilla.
Why do you think Superman could even stand a chance? The only thing that he could do is go into his ear canal Godzilla Or maybe another canal.
[laughter.]
He can get more access.
And then once he gets in there, - maybe he could do some damage, but - Well, hold on.
Why do you think it is he has to go through an orifice? He can't just bust through the skin and take him down that way.
- What about his mouth? - Yeah, exactly.
Why would he choose to go up Godzilla's butthole? Why would he be like, "Okay, well, I'm going to work my way up.
" [laughter.]
[heroic music.]
[laughs.]
Hello, and welcome to another episode of "Comic Book Men," the only show that's got more vision in it than the Scarlet Witch.
- I'm Kevin Smith.
- Bryan Johnson - Walt Flanagan.
- Mike Zapcic.
Ming Chen.
Gentlemen, I have a notion for nostalgia, so take me on a sentimental journey.
A lot of things could come in that can take you right back to a certain year.
- Okay.
- Uh, but there's not a lot of things that could come in that take you back to a certain time of the year.
And that's what happened the other day.
I was taken back to summer 1975.
[upbeat music.]
- Hey, guys.
- Hey, how you doin'? - How are you? - Ooh, a long box of comics, - huh? - Not exactly comics.
- Not exactly comics? - Not exactly.
Something a little better.
Oh, I remember these.
Oh, my God.
I know you do, too, right? - Oh, man.
Slurpee cups.
- 7-Eleven Slurpee cups.
Hulk, Sonja, the Warlock, Black Panther.
Didn't they do it for multiple years? They did it in '73 for DC, and then in '75 they also did Marvel cups.
And then, in '77, they did a series of wraparound cups.
So I literally have probably about 200 cups to sell, and right here I have 91 cups.
You saved 'em all these years.
Most of 'em are from '75, yes.
My cousins, actually, who I went and searched for the cups with, they actually sent me up some cups from their old collections cleaning out, you know, closets and what have you.
Oh, my God.
[rock music.]
They look so nice and vibrant.
They're 40 years old.
They look great.
Yup.
You didn't put them through the dishwasher.
If you did, they'd be blank right now.
- Yeah.
- There'd be no images on 'em.
- You know? - That's a lot, man.
That's a lot of brain freezes, isn't it? That's a lot of brain freezes and a lot of sugar, yeah.
I'm lucky to have all my teeth, you know? These are awesome.
I can't even begin to tell you how exciting it was for a kid to see characters you would never think you'd see merchandised, ever.
I mean, it was crazy.
Why you selling 'em? I mean, you've had 'em all these years why now? I've had 'em this many years.
I'm actually turning 50, so I want to have a couple extra dollars to spend for my birthday in Florida, so You know what, hey, how 'bout we, uh, set 'em up in the back? How 'bout you give the man a hand, see if he's got any rare ones.
- Sounds good.
- All right, uh - Here you go.
- Right over here.
If your parents cared enough about you, they'd go get you a Slurpee with Ka-Zar on the cup.
- Yeah.
- Submariner on the cup.
I had four, and I thought I was, like, the king a da block.
And when friends would come over I'd be, "Hi-C, gentlemen?" [laughter.]
Oh, Ka-Zar! [laughter.]
Come check it out.
Done.
Huh.
Oh, my God.
[light music.]
Look at these characters.
It's as if you guys built a pyramid out of my dreams.
Ooh! Look at that Cockram X-Men with old and new X-Men on each side.
Here's Iron Fist.
Doc Savage.
Doc Savage cup! - That's crazy.
- Killraven.
- Killraven! - Killraven.
I mean, you don't you take for granted today that, like, a superhero image is plastered on every piece of merchandise you can imagine.
You know, it's on your iPhone cover.
I mean, it's on your bedsheets.
But when we were kids, man, this was it! You know, and that's, like, in the infancy of merchandising for Marvel back then.
I mean, you saw a couple toys with Spider-Man or Hulk on it, but if you wanted to see some of the D-list characters, you had to go to the Slurpee cup to get your, you know, to get your Brother Voodoo fix.
[laughs.]
Yeah, like, look.
I'm looking for a Brother Voodoo anything.
Like, get your butt to 7-Eleven, buddy.
[laughter.]
The cups it's almost an example of the comic book publishing back then, or, you know, both companies DC versus Marvel in the '70s.
DC was kinda your daddy's, uh, you know, comic books, and Marvel was the youthful, energetic, and exciting comic books.
And that's what I see in the cups, too.
I mean, Robin's getting dressed.
Black Widow is shooting a ray out of her out of her hand.
I mean, Marvel One makes you want to grab it - and just down it.
- [laughter.]
DC you're just like, "Ah, you know" - You wanna crush the cup when you're done.
- [laughter.]
I definitely want some of these, man.
I don't know about the whole collection.
I-I mean, but there's some that I just have to have.
You willing to sell, you know, some of the cups? Yeah, yeah.
Sure.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
- Definitely the X-Men.
- Mm-hmm.
- Iron Fist for Mike.
- Mm-hmm.
- I definitely want a Spider-Man.
- There are two of 'em.
This is one of my favorite Spider-Man images.
I want the Killraven.
That's gotta be a P.
Craig Russell Killraven.
I gotta have a Doc Savage.
- How 'bout that Yellowjacket by Buscema? - Oh, right, Yellowjacket.
Silver Surfer over here.
Vision, and a Conan.
That's gotta be John Buscema.
Let me grab the other Silver Surfer.
And a Ka-Zar.
And a Ka-Zar, too.
- [laughter.]
- Throw a Ka-Zar in.
That's a dozen right there.
So, for a dozen cups, how much? I can give you each cup, say, for $8 each? - 8 bucks each? - Yeah, for each cup.
- What's uh, what's that - $96.
$96.
Um Can you make it a baker's dozen for $96? I can pick one more? I could do that for you, sure.
Yup.
Is there one you like, Ming? I mean, I wanna get one for you, too.
I gotta go with this one, Shang-Chi.
That's the Paul Gulacy.
- Thanks! - We'll take 13 cups for $96.
96 bucks.
That's sound good.
- All right, you got a deal.
- Cool.
Thank you, sir.
Snooch to the oh! Nooch! Oh, my God.
This is the new baby.
This is Logan Lee Mewes.
Snooch to the oh! Nooch! - Oh! - Hey, what's up? Oh, my God, this is This is the new baby.
This is Logan.
Logan Lee Mewes.
That may be the cutest baby I've ever seen.
Even my own.
[laughter.]
Jay Mewes stopped by the other day, and he wasn't alone.
Yeah, man.
That's that's quite the change.
For those that don't know, I mean, it may sound like a horrifying prospect, but Jason Mewes, fairly recently, became a dad.
How's it feel, man? How's it feel to be a daddy? It's awesome, honestly.
It's been, uh it's been It's been a little exhausting.
I don't know.
It's harder than I expected it.
Well, we also remember our own childhoods.
We were totally neglected.
It looked easy.
[laughter.]
[baby fusses.]
If you had asked me 10, 15 years ago, I would have said he should not be in charge of his own life, let alone that of another human being.
[laughs.]
Up until, like you said, like maybe five or ten years ago, if he walked through that door with a baby I'd be like, "He's trying to sell somebody's baby.
" [laughter.]
Uh-oh.
Lookit.
She's getting frustrated You know what? I got the perfect thing - to make a baby stop crying.
- What, what, what, what? A present that only guys who work in a comic shop could present.
- What? - Yep.
Want me to hold her while you open it? Yeah! [harp chords.]
- All: Oh! - [laughing.]
Whoa! Whoa! There's a cape so you can fly.
Oh, and a little mask.
So we all knew Jay was coming in, and he was bringing the baby, so we decided to throw him kind of a comic book-themed mini-baby shower.
No.
Well, you know, somebody has a baby you always give them a gift.
So it turned out to be a a superhero costume.
Well, that's adorable, man.
[hums "Superman" theme.]
- Guys: Oh! - [humming theme.]
[laughter.]
- Yay! - Look at that! Look at those gloves.
Oh, yeah.
I'm a super-baby! [Logan cries.]
Okay, okay.
All right, let's take this off, baby.
Yeah, there's no customers in here no one will know.
It's okay to reveal her secret identity.
Her secret identity! Oh, it's just you.
He has the heart, the esprit de corps, if you will, of a kid.
We've always treated him like our kid, and now he's raising his own kid.
It's really nice to see him develop one more color, you know? We always think of him as one thing.
It's nice to see another shade.
50 shades of Jay, if you will.
[laughter.]
- [Logan crying.]
- All right.
We're going to take it off her now.
You can't just go from human to superhero like that.
Exactly.
She's realizing tell 'em.
We gotta tell ya that we're realizing that she knows that one day she's gonna be the boss of all you guys.
She's Li, "This will one day be mine, "handed down to me and Silent Bob's kid.
"And it's gonna be our store.
We're gonna be the boss of you, you, you, and you.
" Well, I don't work here, but I will hang out here for 20 years just to see us 70-year-old men being bossed around by an 18-year-old girl.
I will hang out for that.
[laughter.]
And he was kinda lettin' us know that one day he expects, uh, Logan to be, uh, in the managerial position of the Stash, you know? Maybe taking over for me once I'm ready to be put out to pasture.
Number one, that will never happen.
You'll never be put out to pasture.
But number two, I would imagine my kid is first in line before his kid.
I mean, I know it goes "Jay and Silent Bob", but in the real world, I think Silent Bob gets to go first.
[laughter.]
All right, baby.
What do you think? You wanna say good-bye and we'll come back? They have a lot of work to do.
Say good-bye, and we'll fly outta here.
- Bye, Logan.
- Bye, Logan! - Later, Logan.
- Good-bye.
- Bye, Logan.
- Bye.
Check you later.
D'you ever think he would have a kid? - Yeah.
- Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, I I've always thought that he would be a great dad.
He never lost that child-like wonderment.
That's a nice way of saying he has the mentality - of a ten-year-old.
- [laughter.]
- [chainsaw buzzes.]
- Oh! These were sold in Toys 'R' Us.
There's a guy wearing a human skin mask.
I remember when you called to say, like, "I'm gonna have a baby.
" I was like, "Oh, my God, that's amazing!" And there was, like, a small little caveat to it.
It was because Walter had this dog, Brodie, that he got while we were making "Mallrats.
" And he loved Brodie, man.
Walter treated Brodie like she was a person all the time and stuff.
And he would do this thing with the doll on the couch What was the doll? It was like a rag doll of some sort, and for whatever reason, like, when I pulled the doll out, the dog would go crazy and and attack it.
And I thought it was hilarious.
The key words to make it go crazy were, "Kill that baby! Kill that baby!" [laughter.]
And the dog would tear in and be like [growls.]
.
It was adorable, man.
He told me and I was like, "That's tremendous! Congrats!" He goes, "I don't know if it's that good.
" I go, "Why?" He goes, "Kill that baby.
" [laughter.]
And I was like, oh, I think it's fine.
Dude, I think it's fine.
Thankfully, the dog was smarter than I was.
[laughter.]
[heroic music.]
What was the hardest thing for you, you know, being a new father? What was the thing that you had to get used to that you're like, "Okay, this takes a little getting used to"? When we traveled, uh, to Hawaii, the baby didn't go to the bathroom for a couple days, like, two, three days, and she was all gassy.
So there's these things called - Two or three days? - Yeah, like two or three days.
So there's these little things called woof Windies.
They're little pie they're little pipes like this and they go down small like a little Like size of a straw.
And you stick it in the baby's booty.
And then it goes - And you siphon it? - Wind.
Oh, okay! [laughter.]
I was like Oh, like gas? I-I was gonna say.
They weren't invented when my kids were little.
[laughter.]
[upbeat music.]
There you go.
Have a great day.
You, too.
Thank you.
- Hi.
- Hey.
Can I see the, uh, Leatherface figure in the case? - The 18-inch one? - Yeah, the 18-inch.
- Ming, you mind grabbing that? - Yeah, I'll go grab it.
- Big Leatherface fan? - I'm a big fan, yeah.
I grew up watching the movies with my mom.
Christmas every year, when we put up the tree, that's the movie that we'd watch.
- Oh.
- Oh, my God.
- How impressive is that? - That is beautiful.
This is the McFarlane Movie Maniac version.
Oh, my goodness.
[rock music.]
One thing I loved about these McFarlanes is they So much blood.
They're legendary for just reinventing, you know, action figures.
These were sold in Toys 'R' Us in places where, like, little kids were looking for, like, Power Rangers.
My Little Pony.
And, like, right next on the shelf, there you go! Here's a guy wearing a human skin mask.
- [laughing.]
- Right.
Todd McFarlane, man, aside from being just a fantastic Hall of Fame artist, took his passion for the medium and for toys and built an entire industry with it.
Changed action figures forever.
He started putting out these figures that were true-to-life to the movies and bloody and representation of horror images, and parents got really nuts about it.
Is it not the best publicity in the world is to is like, you're doing a horror figure and the outcry from the public is "It's too horrific!" Yeah.
Like, I drop the mic.
[laughter.]
They're motion-activated.
Did you know that? - No, I didn't.
- Check this out.
- All right.
- I hope the batteries still work.
Can you move? [suspenseful music.]
- [chainsaw buzzing.]
- Whoa! [buzzing.]
- Huh? - Excellent.
[screaming.]
Merry Christmas.
[laughter.]
I have that Leatherface, but I take everything out of the box.
I know I'll be chided by this guy forever.
Ruined it! He goes, "You know you know you shouldn't do it!" But I like to take 'em out and set 'em up.
You're like a five-year-old dodo You know! You know you shouldn't do it! Then I hear him crying, "This goes for $700 now? Why did I take it out of the box?" And that's when I say, "You know you shouldn't take it out of the box, and you do it anyway.
" He's got you there, dude.
[laughter.]
So we're looking to get $175 for good ol' Leatherface today.
Okay.
Could you do $140? I couldn't go that low.
Santa Claus, he's not.
[laughter.]
I could do $160.
[chainsaw buzzing.]
$150.
All right.
I could do $150.
Perfect.
$150 it is.
Perfect.
- Here's $150.
- All right.
Take it on up to the front counter.
Mike will box it up for you.
- Awesome.
Thanks, guys.
- Thank you.
- Thanks.
- All right.
I didn't want to embarrass you in front of her, but I could tell you soiled your pants just when Walt pressed the button.
[laughter.]
What do you got here? Whoa.
Remember this? I wanted this for Christmas.
For some reason Santa just never bought it, though.
- Hey, how's it going? - Hey, how you doing? I want to sell you a 1974 Batman Batcave.
- Oh, my God! Remember this? - Yeah.
Can we open it up? Take a look? - Yeah, let's do it.
- Go ahead, man.
Pop it open.
[rock music.]
[variation on "Batman" theme.]
[dramatic accent notes.]
[car engine revs.]
[cartoonish sounds.]
[end notes.]
I wanted this for Christmas.
For some reason Santa just never bought it, though.
Is this your original Batcave? This is not my original Batcave.
I'm a big MEGO collector, and I love this stuff.
And so this is actually about three different sets put together.
- This is it.
- This is it? This is awful that MEGO tried to pass this off as a Batcave.
What are you talking about? I mean, tell me this doesn't look just like Batman's Batcave from the comics.
It does not look anything like Batman's Batcave.
I'm not sure why you're so Mike, please step in.
This was the Batcave.
This was headquarters.
This is where Batman and Robin would go to the Batcomputer and find out where the Joker was planning his next crime.
- Ugh this? This - Yeah.
Looks like it's his record collection, doesn't it? [laughter.]
This is the ultimate crime fighting computer.
What's that? Is that supposed to be the Joker right there? I gotta argue in his defense.
It looks like one of those Chinese ghost cities that they built where there's, like, nothing inside the buildings.
.
[laughter.]
Oh, the MEGO Batcave was my unrequited love of childhood.
It was a glorious you know, in my child's mind A gloriously large play set that unfolded with the secret entrance.
There was a computer.
Are we talking about the same MEGO Batcave here? Because what I saw It looked like garbage.
I'm going to be honest.
It it the floor of the Batcave, if you remember correctly, was a piece of square plastic.
- Yes! - Looked like it came off of a pool liner.
He crapped all over this, this man's Bat Did you really? This toy is part of our comic book heritage, man.
- He treated it like a toilet.
- It looked like a toilet.
Oh, my God, dude! I want to cast you out of the temple.
This is crazy! I was in agreement with Ming on this one.
- No! - Yeah.
Why do you love Megos? This is a big part of my childhood.
I'm almost 50 years old, and I get to play with this stuff? I mean, it's like pffff! It's great.
- Tell me this - I love it.
These are so rare.
Oh, especially the Bat Signal.
Probably the rarest part in here, you know.
What was really cool about the light It was more than just a, you know, a flashlight bulb in there.
Check this out you gotta check out the Bat Signal.
Oh, yeah.
Get it closer.
Ah, in your face.
- Wow, look at that.
- In your face.
You gotta admit it's pretty bare-bones.
Being a child of the '70s, you got to appreciate that.
Why was it bare-bones? We didn't need anything, man, 'cause we had this.
- Pffft! - Right? - Imagination.
- We had this.
We didn't need we didn't need a nice, fancy sculpture.
All we needed was the vinyl, a piece of wood, and a piece of plastic that you shove a battery in and a little tiny light comes out, and we had the Batcave.
Hold on, if that were the case, why even need this then? Yeah, you could definitely imagine this.
[laughter.]
You guys talk about imagination.
The kicker, for me It was the Bat Signal.
Spelled in lowercase letters, it said "bat signal" on it.
Where's the imagination in that? You're talking like a kid that grew up with those giant G.
I.
Joe monstrosities.
Just because it has a lot of detail doesn't mean it's better.
Yes, it doesn't you have to be right next to a wall in order for it to work, but in your imagination, once you press that, you are Commissioner Gordon summoning the Batman.
You're in charge.
You're building the adventure.
You're not just sitting there going like, "It looks exactly like it.
Now I'll just sit here and wait till I'm dead .
" [laughter.]
All right, and And you're selling it because it's awful, right? You wanna get rid of it? - [laughs.]
- No, no! This is part of my childhood.
This is the cool stuff.
Obviously, I mean, me and Mike appreciate it.
These two may not, but I we do.
What do you need for it? I'd like to do, like, $125 on it.
Hmm.
Would you be willing to take $75? Hmm.
How 'bout $100? Working Bat Signal.
[light music.]
- Done.
100 bucks.
- Right on.
All right.
- Appreciate it.
- All right.
Thanks, guys.
All right, man.
Have a great day.
You, too.
Thanks.
After 40 years, Santa finally comes through.
It was on the bucket list, and now I don't Now I can cross it off.
I just is there anything you didn't put on your bucket list if that piece of crap is on there? [laughter.]
Jesus! Oh, ma That's all the time we got for this week.
We gotta go.
For "Comic Book Men", I'm Kevin Smith.
- Bryan Johnson.
- Walt Flanagan.
- Mike Zapcic.
- Ming Chen.
Always stay positive, kids.
Even in the negative zone.
Good night.
- Sure.
What if Superman were to take on Godzilla? - Seriously? - What are you snickering about? What uh, it's Superman.
Superman's pretty much indestructible.
But he's dwarfed by Godzilla.
Why do you think Superman could even stand a chance? The only thing that he could do is go into his ear canal Godzilla Or maybe another canal.
[laughter.]
He can get more access.
And then once he gets in there, - maybe he could do some damage, but - Well, hold on.
Why do you think it is he has to go through an orifice? He can't just bust through the skin and take him down that way.
- What about his mouth? - Yeah, exactly.
Why would he choose to go up Godzilla's butthole? Why would he be like, "Okay, well, I'm going to work my way up.
" [laughter.]
[heroic music.]
[laughs.]
Hello, and welcome to another episode of "Comic Book Men," the only show that's got more vision in it than the Scarlet Witch.
- I'm Kevin Smith.
- Bryan Johnson - Walt Flanagan.
- Mike Zapcic.
Ming Chen.
Gentlemen, I have a notion for nostalgia, so take me on a sentimental journey.
A lot of things could come in that can take you right back to a certain year.
- Okay.
- Uh, but there's not a lot of things that could come in that take you back to a certain time of the year.
And that's what happened the other day.
I was taken back to summer 1975.
[upbeat music.]
- Hey, guys.
- Hey, how you doin'? - How are you? - Ooh, a long box of comics, - huh? - Not exactly comics.
- Not exactly comics? - Not exactly.
Something a little better.
Oh, I remember these.
Oh, my God.
I know you do, too, right? - Oh, man.
Slurpee cups.
- 7-Eleven Slurpee cups.
Hulk, Sonja, the Warlock, Black Panther.
Didn't they do it for multiple years? They did it in '73 for DC, and then in '75 they also did Marvel cups.
And then, in '77, they did a series of wraparound cups.
So I literally have probably about 200 cups to sell, and right here I have 91 cups.
You saved 'em all these years.
Most of 'em are from '75, yes.
My cousins, actually, who I went and searched for the cups with, they actually sent me up some cups from their old collections cleaning out, you know, closets and what have you.
Oh, my God.
[rock music.]
They look so nice and vibrant.
They're 40 years old.
They look great.
Yup.
You didn't put them through the dishwasher.
If you did, they'd be blank right now.
- Yeah.
- There'd be no images on 'em.
- You know? - That's a lot, man.
That's a lot of brain freezes, isn't it? That's a lot of brain freezes and a lot of sugar, yeah.
I'm lucky to have all my teeth, you know? These are awesome.
I can't even begin to tell you how exciting it was for a kid to see characters you would never think you'd see merchandised, ever.
I mean, it was crazy.
Why you selling 'em? I mean, you've had 'em all these years why now? I've had 'em this many years.
I'm actually turning 50, so I want to have a couple extra dollars to spend for my birthday in Florida, so You know what, hey, how 'bout we, uh, set 'em up in the back? How 'bout you give the man a hand, see if he's got any rare ones.
- Sounds good.
- All right, uh - Here you go.
- Right over here.
If your parents cared enough about you, they'd go get you a Slurpee with Ka-Zar on the cup.
- Yeah.
- Submariner on the cup.
I had four, and I thought I was, like, the king a da block.
And when friends would come over I'd be, "Hi-C, gentlemen?" [laughter.]
Oh, Ka-Zar! [laughter.]
Come check it out.
Done.
Huh.
Oh, my God.
[light music.]
Look at these characters.
It's as if you guys built a pyramid out of my dreams.
Ooh! Look at that Cockram X-Men with old and new X-Men on each side.
Here's Iron Fist.
Doc Savage.
Doc Savage cup! - That's crazy.
- Killraven.
- Killraven! - Killraven.
I mean, you don't you take for granted today that, like, a superhero image is plastered on every piece of merchandise you can imagine.
You know, it's on your iPhone cover.
I mean, it's on your bedsheets.
But when we were kids, man, this was it! You know, and that's, like, in the infancy of merchandising for Marvel back then.
I mean, you saw a couple toys with Spider-Man or Hulk on it, but if you wanted to see some of the D-list characters, you had to go to the Slurpee cup to get your, you know, to get your Brother Voodoo fix.
[laughs.]
Yeah, like, look.
I'm looking for a Brother Voodoo anything.
Like, get your butt to 7-Eleven, buddy.
[laughter.]
The cups it's almost an example of the comic book publishing back then, or, you know, both companies DC versus Marvel in the '70s.
DC was kinda your daddy's, uh, you know, comic books, and Marvel was the youthful, energetic, and exciting comic books.
And that's what I see in the cups, too.
I mean, Robin's getting dressed.
Black Widow is shooting a ray out of her out of her hand.
I mean, Marvel One makes you want to grab it - and just down it.
- [laughter.]
DC you're just like, "Ah, you know" - You wanna crush the cup when you're done.
- [laughter.]
I definitely want some of these, man.
I don't know about the whole collection.
I-I mean, but there's some that I just have to have.
You willing to sell, you know, some of the cups? Yeah, yeah.
Sure.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
- Definitely the X-Men.
- Mm-hmm.
- Iron Fist for Mike.
- Mm-hmm.
- I definitely want a Spider-Man.
- There are two of 'em.
This is one of my favorite Spider-Man images.
I want the Killraven.
That's gotta be a P.
Craig Russell Killraven.
I gotta have a Doc Savage.
- How 'bout that Yellowjacket by Buscema? - Oh, right, Yellowjacket.
Silver Surfer over here.
Vision, and a Conan.
That's gotta be John Buscema.
Let me grab the other Silver Surfer.
And a Ka-Zar.
And a Ka-Zar, too.
- [laughter.]
- Throw a Ka-Zar in.
That's a dozen right there.
So, for a dozen cups, how much? I can give you each cup, say, for $8 each? - 8 bucks each? - Yeah, for each cup.
- What's uh, what's that - $96.
$96.
Um Can you make it a baker's dozen for $96? I can pick one more? I could do that for you, sure.
Yup.
Is there one you like, Ming? I mean, I wanna get one for you, too.
I gotta go with this one, Shang-Chi.
That's the Paul Gulacy.
- Thanks! - We'll take 13 cups for $96.
96 bucks.
That's sound good.
- All right, you got a deal.
- Cool.
Thank you, sir.
Snooch to the oh! Nooch! Oh, my God.
This is the new baby.
This is Logan Lee Mewes.
Snooch to the oh! Nooch! - Oh! - Hey, what's up? Oh, my God, this is This is the new baby.
This is Logan.
Logan Lee Mewes.
That may be the cutest baby I've ever seen.
Even my own.
[laughter.]
Jay Mewes stopped by the other day, and he wasn't alone.
Yeah, man.
That's that's quite the change.
For those that don't know, I mean, it may sound like a horrifying prospect, but Jason Mewes, fairly recently, became a dad.
How's it feel, man? How's it feel to be a daddy? It's awesome, honestly.
It's been, uh it's been It's been a little exhausting.
I don't know.
It's harder than I expected it.
Well, we also remember our own childhoods.
We were totally neglected.
It looked easy.
[laughter.]
[baby fusses.]
If you had asked me 10, 15 years ago, I would have said he should not be in charge of his own life, let alone that of another human being.
[laughs.]
Up until, like you said, like maybe five or ten years ago, if he walked through that door with a baby I'd be like, "He's trying to sell somebody's baby.
" [laughter.]
Uh-oh.
Lookit.
She's getting frustrated You know what? I got the perfect thing - to make a baby stop crying.
- What, what, what, what? A present that only guys who work in a comic shop could present.
- What? - Yep.
Want me to hold her while you open it? Yeah! [harp chords.]
- All: Oh! - [laughing.]
Whoa! Whoa! There's a cape so you can fly.
Oh, and a little mask.
So we all knew Jay was coming in, and he was bringing the baby, so we decided to throw him kind of a comic book-themed mini-baby shower.
No.
Well, you know, somebody has a baby you always give them a gift.
So it turned out to be a a superhero costume.
Well, that's adorable, man.
[hums "Superman" theme.]
- Guys: Oh! - [humming theme.]
[laughter.]
- Yay! - Look at that! Look at those gloves.
Oh, yeah.
I'm a super-baby! [Logan cries.]
Okay, okay.
All right, let's take this off, baby.
Yeah, there's no customers in here no one will know.
It's okay to reveal her secret identity.
Her secret identity! Oh, it's just you.
He has the heart, the esprit de corps, if you will, of a kid.
We've always treated him like our kid, and now he's raising his own kid.
It's really nice to see him develop one more color, you know? We always think of him as one thing.
It's nice to see another shade.
50 shades of Jay, if you will.
[laughter.]
- [Logan crying.]
- All right.
We're going to take it off her now.
You can't just go from human to superhero like that.
Exactly.
She's realizing tell 'em.
We gotta tell ya that we're realizing that she knows that one day she's gonna be the boss of all you guys.
She's Li, "This will one day be mine, "handed down to me and Silent Bob's kid.
"And it's gonna be our store.
We're gonna be the boss of you, you, you, and you.
" Well, I don't work here, but I will hang out here for 20 years just to see us 70-year-old men being bossed around by an 18-year-old girl.
I will hang out for that.
[laughter.]
And he was kinda lettin' us know that one day he expects, uh, Logan to be, uh, in the managerial position of the Stash, you know? Maybe taking over for me once I'm ready to be put out to pasture.
Number one, that will never happen.
You'll never be put out to pasture.
But number two, I would imagine my kid is first in line before his kid.
I mean, I know it goes "Jay and Silent Bob", but in the real world, I think Silent Bob gets to go first.
[laughter.]
All right, baby.
What do you think? You wanna say good-bye and we'll come back? They have a lot of work to do.
Say good-bye, and we'll fly outta here.
- Bye, Logan.
- Bye, Logan! - Later, Logan.
- Good-bye.
- Bye, Logan.
- Bye.
Check you later.
D'you ever think he would have a kid? - Yeah.
- Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, I I've always thought that he would be a great dad.
He never lost that child-like wonderment.
That's a nice way of saying he has the mentality - of a ten-year-old.
- [laughter.]
- [chainsaw buzzes.]
- Oh! These were sold in Toys 'R' Us.
There's a guy wearing a human skin mask.
I remember when you called to say, like, "I'm gonna have a baby.
" I was like, "Oh, my God, that's amazing!" And there was, like, a small little caveat to it.
It was because Walter had this dog, Brodie, that he got while we were making "Mallrats.
" And he loved Brodie, man.
Walter treated Brodie like she was a person all the time and stuff.
And he would do this thing with the doll on the couch What was the doll? It was like a rag doll of some sort, and for whatever reason, like, when I pulled the doll out, the dog would go crazy and and attack it.
And I thought it was hilarious.
The key words to make it go crazy were, "Kill that baby! Kill that baby!" [laughter.]
And the dog would tear in and be like [growls.]
.
It was adorable, man.
He told me and I was like, "That's tremendous! Congrats!" He goes, "I don't know if it's that good.
" I go, "Why?" He goes, "Kill that baby.
" [laughter.]
And I was like, oh, I think it's fine.
Dude, I think it's fine.
Thankfully, the dog was smarter than I was.
[laughter.]
[heroic music.]
What was the hardest thing for you, you know, being a new father? What was the thing that you had to get used to that you're like, "Okay, this takes a little getting used to"? When we traveled, uh, to Hawaii, the baby didn't go to the bathroom for a couple days, like, two, three days, and she was all gassy.
So there's these things called - Two or three days? - Yeah, like two or three days.
So there's these little things called woof Windies.
They're little pie they're little pipes like this and they go down small like a little Like size of a straw.
And you stick it in the baby's booty.
And then it goes - And you siphon it? - Wind.
Oh, okay! [laughter.]
I was like Oh, like gas? I-I was gonna say.
They weren't invented when my kids were little.
[laughter.]
[upbeat music.]
There you go.
Have a great day.
You, too.
Thank you.
- Hi.
- Hey.
Can I see the, uh, Leatherface figure in the case? - The 18-inch one? - Yeah, the 18-inch.
- Ming, you mind grabbing that? - Yeah, I'll go grab it.
- Big Leatherface fan? - I'm a big fan, yeah.
I grew up watching the movies with my mom.
Christmas every year, when we put up the tree, that's the movie that we'd watch.
- Oh.
- Oh, my God.
- How impressive is that? - That is beautiful.
This is the McFarlane Movie Maniac version.
Oh, my goodness.
[rock music.]
One thing I loved about these McFarlanes is they So much blood.
They're legendary for just reinventing, you know, action figures.
These were sold in Toys 'R' Us in places where, like, little kids were looking for, like, Power Rangers.
My Little Pony.
And, like, right next on the shelf, there you go! Here's a guy wearing a human skin mask.
- [laughing.]
- Right.
Todd McFarlane, man, aside from being just a fantastic Hall of Fame artist, took his passion for the medium and for toys and built an entire industry with it.
Changed action figures forever.
He started putting out these figures that were true-to-life to the movies and bloody and representation of horror images, and parents got really nuts about it.
Is it not the best publicity in the world is to is like, you're doing a horror figure and the outcry from the public is "It's too horrific!" Yeah.
Like, I drop the mic.
[laughter.]
They're motion-activated.
Did you know that? - No, I didn't.
- Check this out.
- All right.
- I hope the batteries still work.
Can you move? [suspenseful music.]
- [chainsaw buzzing.]
- Whoa! [buzzing.]
- Huh? - Excellent.
[screaming.]
Merry Christmas.
[laughter.]
I have that Leatherface, but I take everything out of the box.
I know I'll be chided by this guy forever.
Ruined it! He goes, "You know you know you shouldn't do it!" But I like to take 'em out and set 'em up.
You're like a five-year-old dodo You know! You know you shouldn't do it! Then I hear him crying, "This goes for $700 now? Why did I take it out of the box?" And that's when I say, "You know you shouldn't take it out of the box, and you do it anyway.
" He's got you there, dude.
[laughter.]
So we're looking to get $175 for good ol' Leatherface today.
Okay.
Could you do $140? I couldn't go that low.
Santa Claus, he's not.
[laughter.]
I could do $160.
[chainsaw buzzing.]
$150.
All right.
I could do $150.
Perfect.
$150 it is.
Perfect.
- Here's $150.
- All right.
Take it on up to the front counter.
Mike will box it up for you.
- Awesome.
Thanks, guys.
- Thank you.
- Thanks.
- All right.
I didn't want to embarrass you in front of her, but I could tell you soiled your pants just when Walt pressed the button.
[laughter.]
What do you got here? Whoa.
Remember this? I wanted this for Christmas.
For some reason Santa just never bought it, though.
- Hey, how's it going? - Hey, how you doing? I want to sell you a 1974 Batman Batcave.
- Oh, my God! Remember this? - Yeah.
Can we open it up? Take a look? - Yeah, let's do it.
- Go ahead, man.
Pop it open.
[rock music.]
[variation on "Batman" theme.]
[dramatic accent notes.]
[car engine revs.]
[cartoonish sounds.]
[end notes.]
I wanted this for Christmas.
For some reason Santa just never bought it, though.
Is this your original Batcave? This is not my original Batcave.
I'm a big MEGO collector, and I love this stuff.
And so this is actually about three different sets put together.
- This is it.
- This is it? This is awful that MEGO tried to pass this off as a Batcave.
What are you talking about? I mean, tell me this doesn't look just like Batman's Batcave from the comics.
It does not look anything like Batman's Batcave.
I'm not sure why you're so Mike, please step in.
This was the Batcave.
This was headquarters.
This is where Batman and Robin would go to the Batcomputer and find out where the Joker was planning his next crime.
- Ugh this? This - Yeah.
Looks like it's his record collection, doesn't it? [laughter.]
This is the ultimate crime fighting computer.
What's that? Is that supposed to be the Joker right there? I gotta argue in his defense.
It looks like one of those Chinese ghost cities that they built where there's, like, nothing inside the buildings.
.
[laughter.]
Oh, the MEGO Batcave was my unrequited love of childhood.
It was a glorious you know, in my child's mind A gloriously large play set that unfolded with the secret entrance.
There was a computer.
Are we talking about the same MEGO Batcave here? Because what I saw It looked like garbage.
I'm going to be honest.
It it the floor of the Batcave, if you remember correctly, was a piece of square plastic.
- Yes! - Looked like it came off of a pool liner.
He crapped all over this, this man's Bat Did you really? This toy is part of our comic book heritage, man.
- He treated it like a toilet.
- It looked like a toilet.
Oh, my God, dude! I want to cast you out of the temple.
This is crazy! I was in agreement with Ming on this one.
- No! - Yeah.
Why do you love Megos? This is a big part of my childhood.
I'm almost 50 years old, and I get to play with this stuff? I mean, it's like pffff! It's great.
- Tell me this - I love it.
These are so rare.
Oh, especially the Bat Signal.
Probably the rarest part in here, you know.
What was really cool about the light It was more than just a, you know, a flashlight bulb in there.
Check this out you gotta check out the Bat Signal.
Oh, yeah.
Get it closer.
Ah, in your face.
- Wow, look at that.
- In your face.
You gotta admit it's pretty bare-bones.
Being a child of the '70s, you got to appreciate that.
Why was it bare-bones? We didn't need anything, man, 'cause we had this.
- Pffft! - Right? - Imagination.
- We had this.
We didn't need we didn't need a nice, fancy sculpture.
All we needed was the vinyl, a piece of wood, and a piece of plastic that you shove a battery in and a little tiny light comes out, and we had the Batcave.
Hold on, if that were the case, why even need this then? Yeah, you could definitely imagine this.
[laughter.]
You guys talk about imagination.
The kicker, for me It was the Bat Signal.
Spelled in lowercase letters, it said "bat signal" on it.
Where's the imagination in that? You're talking like a kid that grew up with those giant G.
I.
Joe monstrosities.
Just because it has a lot of detail doesn't mean it's better.
Yes, it doesn't you have to be right next to a wall in order for it to work, but in your imagination, once you press that, you are Commissioner Gordon summoning the Batman.
You're in charge.
You're building the adventure.
You're not just sitting there going like, "It looks exactly like it.
Now I'll just sit here and wait till I'm dead .
" [laughter.]
All right, and And you're selling it because it's awful, right? You wanna get rid of it? - [laughs.]
- No, no! This is part of my childhood.
This is the cool stuff.
Obviously, I mean, me and Mike appreciate it.
These two may not, but I we do.
What do you need for it? I'd like to do, like, $125 on it.
Hmm.
Would you be willing to take $75? Hmm.
How 'bout $100? Working Bat Signal.
[light music.]
- Done.
100 bucks.
- Right on.
All right.
- Appreciate it.
- All right.
Thanks, guys.
All right, man.
Have a great day.
You, too.
Thanks.
After 40 years, Santa finally comes through.
It was on the bucket list, and now I don't Now I can cross it off.
I just is there anything you didn't put on your bucket list if that piece of crap is on there? [laughter.]
Jesus! Oh, ma That's all the time we got for this week.
We gotta go.
For "Comic Book Men", I'm Kevin Smith.
- Bryan Johnson.
- Walt Flanagan.
- Mike Zapcic.
- Ming Chen.
Always stay positive, kids.
Even in the negative zone.
Good night.