Ed, Edd n Eddy (1999) s05e12 Episode Script

1
- [ WHISTLING ]
- Edd: BRBRBRBRB, YEAH!
- Jimmy: GOOD DAY, WORLD.
LA LA LA LA-LA LA-LA
LA-LA-LA-LA LA LA LA LA
[ LAUGHS ] WHO'S THERE?
- [ WOLF-WHISTLES ]
- Jimmy: I'M SO AWESOME.
[ WHISTLE BLOWS ]
[ WHISTLE BLOWS ]
- GOOD DAY, JIMMY.
- Jimmy: GOOD DAY, MR. SUN.
GOODY, GOODY, GOODY!
FELICITATIONS, FELLOW
CHILDREN OF THE CUL-DE-SAC.
- Kevin: FELICITATIONS
TO YOU, TOO, DEAR JIMMY.
- Nazz: YOUR COWLICK LOOKS
SO DIVINE TODAY, JIMMY.
- Rolf: ROLF HAS MUCH
ADMIRATION FOR HE WHO CAN LICK A.
COW.
- Jimmy: A COMPLIMENT, I'M SURE.
SORRY TO SAY I'M ON MY WAY.
TOODLE-OO!
- Nazz: TA-TA!
- Kevin: CHEERIO!
- Rolf: LATER, ALLIGATOR!
[ WHISTLE BLOWS ]
- Jimmy: NICE RIDING YOU,
MR. CATERPILLAR.
HIDY-HI, CUL-DE-SAC CASTAWAYS.
I SEE DOLLY NO-NO.
SHE'S KEEPING YOU FROM
WREAKING HAVOC ON THIS FINE DAY.
- Eddy: HAVOC?
OH, LIKE THE FISH.
- Edd: THAT'S HADDOCK, EDDY.
- Ed: MY BOTTOM'S GOT A HADDOCK.
- Jimmy: YOU THREE ARE SO KOOKY.
- Eddy: DARN IT, I
LOVE HIS COWLICK.
- Jimmy: THERE SHE IS MY
UMBER-HAIRED ANGEL, MY.
PUMMELING PROTECTOR.
[ LAUGHING ]
- Sarah: HELP, JIMMY!
- Jimmy: WHAT'S HAPPENING?
AHHH!
- Sarah: JIMMY!
- Jimmy: SARAH, ROBOT WIGGLY!
ROBOT WIGGLY!
- Sarah: HELP ME, JIMMY!
- Jimmy: SARAH! SARAH!
AHHH!
OH, NO! OH, NO!
- Sarah: TAKE MY HAND, JIMMY!
- Jimmy: I'M TRYING, SARAH!
I CAN'T REACH YOU!
- Sarah: JIMM-Y-Y-Y-Y!
- Jimmy: SARA-A-A-A-H!
SARAH?
- Sarah: BOY, I THOUGH
YOU'D NEVER WAKE UP.
- Jimmy: OH, SARAH,
WHAT A HORRIBLE DREAM!
THESE HERCULEAN MECHANICAL
PINCERS DROPPED FROM THE SKY,
ALL WIGGLY-LIKE, AND
SNATCHED YOU AWAY.
- Sarah: HOW MANY BELLY BOMB
BONBONS DID YOU EAT BEFORE BED,
MISTER?
YOU KNOW THEY
GIVE YOU NIGHTMARES.
- Jimmy: UM, MAYBE ONE OR TWO.
[ CLANGING ] OKAY,
GUILTY AS CHARGED.
I'M A PIGGY.
[ LAUGHTER ] ♪
LA LA LA LA-LA LA-LA
LA-LA-LA-LA LA
LA LA LA [ HUMMING ]
OH, LOOK.
A POSTCARD.
I LOVE POST
TAKE MY HAND.
JIMM-Y-Y-Y-Y!
JIMMY?
BOY, YOU SURE ARE
ACTING WEIRD TODAY.
- Jimmy: OWIE! SARAH!
- Jonny: RIGHT ON!
WAIT TILL EVERYBODY SEES OUR
HAPPENING HARVEST HATS AT THE
SADIE HAWKINS DANCE.
WHAT DO WE NEED NOW, BUDDY?
WHAT THE HECK'S A RUTABAGA?
I BET YOU ROLF'S GO
ONE OF THOSE THINGS.
HE'S KIND OF NUTTY THAT WAY.
[ GRUNTING ] [ WHIRRING ]
OW!
HEY, ROLF, WHAT YOU DOING?
- Sarah: COME ON, JIMMY.
SNOW ANGELS ARE FUN.
- Jimmy: ROBO
CLAWS FROM THE SKY.
THEY'RE COMING TO TAKE US AWAY.
- Sarah: GET OVER IT, WILL YA?
IT WAS JUST A DREAM.
- Jimmy: I CAN'
CONTROL MYSELF, SARAH.
IT SEEMED SO REAL, AS
THOUGH IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED.
- Sarah: WELL, THAT'S
JUST PLAIN STUPID, SILLY.
- Jimmy: I FEEL SO ICKY, SARAH.
- Edd: AND THEREFORE, AN
INTEGER OF 4 ADDED INTO THE.
EQUATION YIELDS A MUCH MORE
READILY DECIPHERABLE HOT POTATO.
KNOWING "Q" IS A CONSTANT IN THE
QUOTIENT, WE CAN DEDUCE THAT "P"
IS EQUAL TO 72.
ANY QUESTIONS, EDDY?
EDDY?
[ CHATTERING ]
- Eddy: CHECK IT OUT, SOCKHEAD.
THE PLAY-DOH HEAD'S
BUSTING AN ARTERY.
[ LAUGHS ] WHAT AN IDIOT!
- Jonny: YOU GOT TO
BELIEVE US, GUYS.
WE'RE ALL DEAD DUCKS.
DEAD DUCKS, I TELL YOU!
- Nazz: DUDE, HARSH SUNBURN.
YOU NEED SOME ALOE VERA.
- Edd: PARDON ME.
IF IT'S NOT TOO MUCH TO ASK,
COULD YOU KEEP YOUR VOICES DOWN?
EDDY'S TUTORING REQUIRES
- Jonny: YOU WILL BELIEVE ME!
THERE'S FLESH-EATING ALIENS
INVADING ROLF'S HOUSE, DOUBLE D!
HE SAID SO! HE DID!
- Eddy: OH, THIS IS
GONNA BE GOOD.
- Kevin: FLESH-EATING
ALIENS, HUH?
YEAH, RIGHT.
AND I GOT A RUSSIAN
PLATE-TWIRLING TEAM CAMPING OU
IN MY BACKYARD.
[ LAUGHTER ]
- Jonny: THEY DON'T BELIEVE US,
BUDDY.
THEY DON'T BELIEVE US!
- Jimmy: I BELIEVE YOU, JONNY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
- Sarah: HA HA HA!
OH, JIMMY, YOU'RE SUCH A KIDDER.
WHAT THE HECK'S WRONG WITH YOU?
GET REAL, JIMMY.
- Jimmy: I HAVE NEVER BEEN
MORE REAL IN ALL MY LIFE, SARAH.
MY DREAM HAS COME TRUE.
GIANT BLADES WILL FALL,
SLICING THROUGH THE EARTH LIKE A
DEEP-DISH FLAN.
IT'S THE END OF HUMANITY!
OHHH.
- Eddy: SWEET.
- Nazz: INTENSE.
- Kevin: GIVE ME A BREAK.
- Eddy: OH, COME ON.
YOU CAN'T GO GET ME
SOME MARSHMALLOWS?
- Sarah: WHERE'S MY
STUPID BROTHER?!
- Edd: HE DID LEAVE THIS NOTE
ON HIS BEDROOM DOOR THIS.
MORNING.
- Sarah: LET ME SEE.
"AT ROLF'S.
NEEDS HELP."
- Nazz: DUDE, ALIENS OR NOT,
SOMETHING'S SERIOUSLY UP.
- Edd: DON'T YOU THINK YOU'RE
BLOWING THIS OUT OF PROPORTION.
JUST A LITTLE?
ED'S NO DOUBT ASSISTING ROLF
WITH SOME FARMYARD DUTIES.
IT WOULDN'T BE THE FIRST TIME.
- Jonny: OR MAYBE ED'S HELPING
ROLF FIGHT OFF THOSE ALIENS AS.
WE SPEAK!
- Kevin: YO, PUT AN END TO IT AND
JUST GO CHECK HIS HOUSE OUT.
ALREADY.
- Edd: WELL, IT HARDLY APPEARS
TO BE THE STRONGHOLD OF SOME.
ALIEN ENCROACHMENT,
NOW, DOES IT?
GOODNESS. IS IT ME, OR IS I
SUDDENLY BECOMING UNBEARABLY
WARM?
- Eddy: MAN, I'M FRYING
LIKE AN EGG OVER HERE.
- Edd: STRANGE.
HOW COULD THE LAND TEMPERATURE
CHANGE SO DRASTICALLY FROM ONE
AREA TO THE NEXT?
- Jonny: SEE? I TOLD YOU!
- Sarah: HOLY MAN!
- Edd: THE PLAYGROUND.
- Kevin: FOLLOW ME.
- All: UGH!
- Edd: WHAT IN
HEAVEN'S NAME IS THAT?
- Kevin: WHATEVER
IT IS, IT REEKS.
- Nazz: AHH! AHHH!
[ ALL SCREAMING ]
- Kevin: IT HATCHED, MAN!
[ SQUEAKING ] [
SQUEAKING STOPS ]
- Eddy: LET'S MAKE
A BREAK FOR IT.
- Both: AHHH!
- Eddy: ED?
- Ed: [ BABBLING ] SQUEEZED.
CHEEKS PINCHED.
RIBS PRODDED.
GRIZZLY BEAST BEINGS
THAT SMELL LIKE MOTHBALLS!
I AM SO POOPED.
- Jonny: THE ALIENS
EXPERIMENTED ON ED.
- Ed: PROTECT YOURSELF,
LARGE-NOGGINED ONE, AS THEY.
WILL USE YOU AS AN OTTOMAN
FOR THEIR SCALY FEET!
- Jonny: NO, NOT THE OTTOMAN!
- Kevin: THAT'S IT.
WE'RE STORMING THAT HOUSE.
- Eddy: HOLD THE PHONE.
WHO MADE YOU COMMANDER
IN CHUMP, BOXHEAD?
WANT TO GO IN THE
HOUSE FIRST, HUH, DORKY?
- Eddy: KEV, THE
LEADER GREAT IDEA.
- Edd: I'll RESEARCH ED'S
TAWDRY EXTRATERRESTRIAL.
MATERIAL.
THERE MAY BE VITAL CLUES
ON HOW TO DEAL WITH THE ALIEN
INSURGENCY.
[ BLEATING ]
- Edd: HMM.
"SQUARE DANCERS FROM
THE OUTER REACHES"?
COLORFUL.
"ATTACK OF THE
SPACE NOSE MINERS"?
DEVIATING.
"INAPPROPRIATE
PINCHERS FROM BEYOND"?
HMM.
HEAT VISION?
"EXTRATERRESTRIAL BEINGS
ARE KNOWN TO PRODUCE ELEVATED
TEMPERATURES OF HEAT."
COINCIDENCE?
[ CREAKING ] HELLO?
[ CLANK ] HUH?
[ CREAKING ] AHH!
OH, FOR GOODNESS' SAKE.
[ CRASHING ]
- Ed: PASSWORD?
- Edd: PASSWORD?
I WASN'T INFORMED
OF ANY PASSWORD.
HELLO?
AHH!
- Ed: I SEE THROUGH YOUR
DISGUISE, CREATURE FROM BEYOND.
OUR STARS!
- Edd: ED, IT'S
ME DOUBLE D!
- Ed: DOUBLE D, YOU'RE ALIVE!
- Kevin: WHILE THE ALPHA TEAM
CIRCLES THE PERIMETER HERE AND.
HOOKS UP WITH THE OMEGA TEAM
HERE, THAT'S WHEN WE TAKE THEM.
ANY QUESTIONS?
- Eddy: YAWN!
JIMMY?
- Jimmy: THANK YOU,
THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
[ SMOOCHING ]
- Kevin: RIGHT.
START BUILDING YOUR WEAPONS.
DOUBLE D, WHAT'D
YOU FIND OUT, MAN?
- Edd: MY INFORMATION
GATHERING POINTS TO ALIEN BEINGS.
DISPERSING HEA
THROUGH THEIR VISION.
- Kevin: HEAT VISION, HUH?
- Edd: WITH THAT, I TOOK THE
LIBERTY OF DEVELOPING A SUB-ZERO.
BATTLE SUIT WHICH SHOULD
EFFECTIVELY PROTECT US FROM
THEIR DETONATION OF HEAT.
[ WOLF WHISTLE ]
- Kevin: NICE.
JIMMY, CURLERS DON'
COUNT AS WEAPONS.
- Eddy: HOLD THIS.
- Ed: DO IT AGAIN!
[ LAUGHS ]
- Eddy: [ LAUGHS ]
- Edd: EDDY, I'M A TAD SUSPEC
THAT THIS WILL PROVIDE YOU.
ADEQUATE DEFENSE.
- Eddy: DEFENSE, SCHMEFENSE.
I'M GONNA BE SWIMMING IN MOOLA.
ONCE I BAG ONE OF THOSE
ALIENS, I'll BE FAMOUS.
- Edd: WELL, JUST LET ED
OUT WHEN YOU'RE DONE, THEN.
- Ed: PULL MY FINGER, EDDY.
[ FARTING ]
- Kevin: READY?
- Jonny: READY, RIGHT, BUDDY?
- Nazz: READY, ALMOST.
- Ed: DON'T LOOK AT THE CAMERA.
DON'T LOOK AT THE CAMERA.
- Jimmy: READY.
- Sarah: THIS STINK JUICE
WILL BURN THEIR NOSTRILS OFF.
- Jimmy: BUT, SARAH, YOU SAID YOU
LOVED MY HOMEMADE DANDELION.
PERFUME.
- Edd: IT IS HERE, DEAR
FRIENDS, ON THE THRESHOLD OF.
FATE, WHERE WE STARE INTO THE
GAPING MOUTH OF UNCERTAINTY.
IN THIS, OUR DARKES
HOUR, I WISH TO EXPRESS MY
- Kevin: ALL RIGHT, LISTEN UP.
THESE SPACE DWEEBS MADE
A BIG MISTAKE INVADING OUR
NEIGHBORHOOD AND TAKING OUR PAL.
WHAT SAY WE GIVE THEM A GOOD
OLD PEACH CREEK WELCOME?
- All: YEAH!
[ CHEERING ]
- Kevin: LET'S DO THIS.
WE'RE COMING FOR
YOU, ROLFIE BOY!
- Jimmy: [ PANTING ] WHOA!
- Kevin: [ WHISTLES ]
- Sarah: TAKE A WHIFF OF THIS,
YOU BAD ALIENS!
I DID IT, JIMMY!
WHOA! THEY GOT ME.
- Ed: ED IS COMING, BABY SISTER.
- Eddy: ED, WAIT!
ARE YOU NUTS?
THOSE ALIENS WILL
SUCK YOUR BRAIN OUT.
- Jimmy: OUCH.
[ MOANING ]
- Kevin: [ WHISTLES ]
- Jonny: WATCH MY BACK, PLANK.
YEAH, BABY!
- Eddy: [ LAUGHING ]
- Edd: THAT ISN'T FUNNY, EDDY.
- Kevin: LOOK ALIVE.
HERE, COVER ME.
YOU, COME WITH ME.
EAT THIS, YOU
OUTER-SPACE FREAKS.
FEED ME SOME AMMO, DORKO.
MOVE IT!
- Ed: GO BACK FROM WHENCE YOU
CAME, ALIENS FROM THE UNKNOWN.
GUTTER BALL!
- Edd: I HOPE YOU'RE
GOING TO PICK THOSE UP.
- Kevin: YOU GUYS ARE USELESS.
EVERYBODY'S ON THEIR OWN.
I'VE HAD IT.
- Jimmy: MY DREAM!
WE'LL BE SENT UP INTO THE SKY.
- Nazz: CHILL OUT, KEVIN.
- Sarah: YEAH.
WE GOT TO GET ROLF
OUT OF THAT HOUSE.
- Ed: ISSUE 14, "ZOMBIE ALIENS
FROM PLANET RHUBARB," STATES.
MORE THAN OFTEN IT IS REQUIRED
TO BAIT SAID ALIENS WITH A HUMAN
FEMALE TO LURE
POTENTIAL FLESH-CONSUMING
EXTRATERRESTRIALS
FROM THEIR LAIR.
- Nazz: THAT'S SO DUMB.
- Edd: DEAREST NAZZ, FIND I
IN YOUR HEART TO FORGIVE ME.
PERHAPS IT'S BEST TO THINK OF
IT AS A SELFLESS ACT TO SAVE
[ ELECTRICITY
CRACKLES ] [ WHIRRING ]
[ WHIRRING STOPS ]
- [ SQUEALING ]
- Kevin: WHOA.
- Sarah: [ GASPING ]
- Eddy: THERE'S SO MANY OF.
THEM.
I'M GONNA BE SUPER RICH!
- Nazz: PLEASE, DON'T EAT ME!
- All: [ SCREAMING ]
- Eddy: 7-FIGURE BRACKET, HERE.
I COME!
- Rolf: HELLO, FELLOW
NEIGHBORHOOD NOTHINGS.
- Nazz: ROLF?
- Eddy: GERONIMO!
- Rolf: OH HO HO!
YOU HAVE COME TO
JOIN THE CELEBRATION.
- Both: CELEBRATION?
- Eddy: YOU AIN'T AN
ALIEN FROM OUTER SPACE.
- Rolf: ROLF'S SKIN WEEPS
WITH TEARS OF IMPURITY AS HIS.
RELATIVES TURN THE
FURNACE UP TO HIGH.
- Jonny: THAT'S WHAT HE
SAID, BUDDY RELATIVES.
- Rolf: RELATIVES, YES.
ROLF'S BROOD FROM
THE OLD COUNTRY.
- Edd: OF COURSE.
IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW.
ROLF ISN'T LITERALLY
BEING INVADED BY ALIENS.
IT'S JUST HIS FAMILY VISITING
FROM HIS NATIVE LAND.
- Ed: THEY ARE SO OTHERWORLDLY.
- Rolf: FARGA AND UNCLE YORNIK
THANK YOU FOR LETTING THEM USE.
YOUR CLOTHES AS EMERGENCY
BIBS, LONE TOTEM-POLED BOY.
COME, FICKLE FRIENDS OF THE
CUL-DE-SAC, JOIN ROLF'S FAMILY
IN THE FESTIVITIES.
WHOA.
- Rolf: HA HA!
ROLF SUSPECTS LITTLE COUSIN
BASTIAN WANTS A KISS UNDER THE
MEMBRANE OF A YAK,
SHE WHO GIVES MIGRAINES.
- Sarah: AHHH!
- Jonny: [ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY ]
- Rolf: YOU MUST STAY.
NANA SEES THE FOOTRES
POTENTIAL IN YOUR "FLAT AS A PANCAKE"
HEAD.
- Eddy: AHH!
NO, LET ME GO.
I DON'T WANT TO BE AN OTTOMAN!
HELP, ED, DOUBLE D!
ISN'T IT EXCITING, ED?
WE FINALLY HAVE A CHANCE TO
MEET ROLF'S ENIGMATIC FAMILY.
OH, THE QUESTIONS ABOUT THE
CULTURE AND STRANGE AFFINITY TO
ANIMAL BY-PRODUCTS ARE ENDLESS.
SHALL WE?
- Ed: NO MORE CHEEK
PINCHING FOR ED, DOUBLE D.
- Nazz: HELLO!
A LITTLE HELP HERE?
GUYS!
[ BEEPING ]