Mad Men s05e12 Episode Script

Buongiorno, Gino.
-Mr.
Covington, you're early.
-l'm not in a rush, believe me.
Don? Jed, Jed Covington from Dancer.
Jed, nice to see you.
Please have a seat.
l'm almost finished here.
Believe me, he's impossible to bother.
This is a man who won Jaguar.
What is that? lt's like an expensive, unreliable Dodge.
What, they didn't go for that? We tried writing sexy like you did, but frankly our creative went home early.
Well, we'll see what's left of what we did after working with them for a month.
And Peter Campbell, is that his name? Boy, were they impressed with him.
This is a big win for your little agency.
So, you really eat English muffins? Yes, but they're not English.
Well, to those of us at the 4A's, everything about you is American.
Your sense of humor, your hard work.
A lot of people join professional associations and just use it as an excuse to drink and hand out business cards.
Well, there has been a bit of that.
There's an unelected position as head of our fiscal control committee.
We'd be honored to have you run it.
l'm sure there are others more deserving.
Who? Fifteen months after losing Lucky Strike to landing a car, you kept that place afloat.
-l suppose the world could see it that way.
-Well, the 4A's could use a little of that.
And there's a little trip to The Greenbrier for the conference with wives or without.
Well, l suppose, l accept.
But don't expect any miracles.
Great.
And don't be so modest.
Thank you, gentlemen.
This shouldn't be longer than an hour.
Scarlett, you have to make sure the freelance squatters are relocated before the partners meeting.
Also? Also there should be danish.
All partners present? Aye.
Shall we begin with old business? Ongoing.
lf l may begin, we've received a confusing request from Jaguar.
They want to explore the idea of going with a fee structure as opposed to straight commission.
-ls there a difference? -Well, it's a very interesting issue.
ln its most simplistic form, the money we receive for work on an account is derived from the 1 5 % commission included in our media purchases, plus the markup on production costs.
But under a fee structure, the client merely pays for the work being done, plus a negotiated one-and-a-half to 2% profit.
Well, that is interesting.
The client asked for it.
That's not good.
What if Dunlop Tires wants to do that? That's a good hypothetical.
lf they can get it, won't everyone want it? Whatever it is? lt's not hypothetical.
Dunlop called last night.
They'd like to meet.
Well, why didn't you say something? l was going to wait for new business.
ls it new business yet? l don't know.
What are the billings? A little under a million, including sporting goods and tubing.
But every Jaguar wears them.
So you know they've heard good things about us.
lncoming calls, what a welcome sound.
Thank you, Mr.
Campbell.
Shouldn't we have a vote on the fee versus commission question? l already said no.
Or should l leave so you all can do whatever you want? l move we tell them we'll look into it, and then we'll look into it.
l second that.
All in favor? So, more new business? Back to ongoing business? Do we have any birthdays? ls there a TV there? Tonight's WiId WiId West.
You guys will miss school and you're getting to go skiing.
l think the WiId West is very low on that list.
Now put your bowl in the sink and go get dressed.
Henry will be home in an hour.
l wanna beat the traffic.
Try these.
They're the biggest ones.
l don't wanna wear someone else's shoes, especially ski boots.
You know that they're sweaty.
Oh, my gosh! Try them on.
Eleanor has smaller feet than me now.
And l'm not going skiing anyway.
You think you're going to sit in the lodge and read a book? Forget it.
l would have rather gone to school and come home and found you all gone.
ls this your plan, to ruin our ski trip? l'm old enough that l can stay alone while you go laugh your heads off.
Fine! l'll leave you locked in a trunk.
Just let me go to Daddy's.
Do they ever take you on vacation? Megan and Daddy took me to Disneyland where it's warm.
You want to spend the weekend there with her because she lets you do whatever you want.
She lets me eat whatever l want.
Mrs.
Francis on line one.
Hello? l wanted to know if you would have any problem with me strangling Sally.
Should we be having this conversation on the phone? l'm not joking.
She's fresh.
And l'd prefer not to have her sour puss ruining our trip! Well, if you think killing her is the only way out of that We're dropping her off.
-Mr.
Cooper here to see you.
-Send him in.
l'm gonna be busy all weekend.
lt's your child bride she wants to spend time with.
Are you still asking for a favor? l'm not asking.
We're dropping her off in an hour.
She can sleep with the doorman for all l care.
l have a question l don't know how to phrase other than as an accusation.
What? l took it upon myself to evaluate the fee issue.
And upon examination of our books, l found this canceled check in an unopened statement.
l'd ask you if you knew about it, but your signature's on the check.
So it is.
l thought we agreed to forego bonuses.
-We did.
-And yet you gave him one.
Bert, l'll take care of it.
You know, you can't keep being the good little boy while the adults run this business.
Dawn, could you get Mr.
Pryce in here? You wanted to see me? Close the door.
Did you hear about the 4A's? l hope it's all right.
l accepted on behalf of the firm.
What the hell is this? This.
l remember.
l didn't sign it.
Of course you did.
Right there.
You want me to play detective? Don, we all sign a lot of things.
ls this the only one? l won't sit here and bear this interrogation.
You want a professional to do it? l'm giving you a chance to come clean.
ls this the only one? How did you get this? Cooper opened the latest bank statement and the books.
lt was a 1 3-day loan.
But then we canceled the bonuses.
You delayed them and then you canceled them.
Then you wanted the money for Joan.
And l'm the one who's committed the crime? -Are you gambling? -No.
l owed taxes on my portfolio, which l liquidated to put $50,000 into this firm after we lost Lucky Strike.
lf you needed it so badly, why didn't you ask? Why suffer the humiliation for a 1 3-day loan? That was my money! l'm gonna need your resignation.
Just a moment.
l'm sorry and l am remorseful.
l don't know how it came to this, but the company's in shipshape.
And l will make good by Easter, even if l have to pull my son out of school.
You embezzled funds and you forged my signature.
l apologize deeply for involving you.
l suppose l picked you because you've always been the most decent to me.
l'm doing the most decent thing l could possibly do, Lane.
l'm letting you resign.
l have never been compensated for my contributions to this company, including my role in its very existence.
Who would ever have dreamt of the word "Jaguar"? l took away nothing from P.
P.
L.
, while you lined your pockets.
And l have operated on a loss for three years! Please reconsider.
l'm sorry.
l can't trust you.
l'll cover the money that you owe.
Because 7,500 is nothing to you.
Do you know how the rest of us live? And in the end, who's been harmed, really? Can you imagine what would happen if a client found out? l'll lose my visa.
l can't go back to England, not like this.
What would l tell my wife? What would l tell my son? You'll tell them that it didn't work out, because it didn't.
And you'll tell them the next thing will be better, because it always is.
Take the weekend.
Think of an elegant exit.
Cooper doesn't know anything.
l feel a bit light-headed.
That's relief.
l've started over a lot, Lane.
This is the worst part.
Were you celebrating with Don? Celebrating? Scarlett told me about your 4A's chairmanship.
Congratulations.
You look busy.
l'm thinking about taking a vacation this Easter.
Where are we going? Do you think there is a difference between Bermuda and Hawaii? Well, neither is suitable for commemorating the death and resurrection of our Lord.
Can you imagine me locked in a hotel room with a baby and my mother? l suppose you'd rather l imagined you bouncing in the sand in some obscene bikini.
l think you should take your party elsewhere.
Well, bon voyage.
l had to get up very early this morning to go to work, to make more money, buy you more champagne.
Go back to bed.
She's a 25-year-old coat check girl from Long lsland or Rhode lsland.
She'd never had room service before.
lt's too easy.
Why do we do this? For the sex, but it's always disappointing.
For me, anyway.
l don't like what we're doing.
So you're drinking with a purpose.
l'm tired of this piddly shit.
l'm tired of living in this delusion that we're going somewhere when we can't even give Christmas bonuses.
What about your speech about how we were arriving and so forth? Or we've arrived? l don't remember, but it was good.
So you feel different since Jaguar? -We're getting incoming calls.
-Pete is.
Look, l don't like him, but he's kind of turned things around.
He still thinks small.
Dunlop's another Topaz.
lt's another Mohawk.
lt's another coat check girl.
-So you don't want it? -No.
l don't want Jaguar, l want Chevy.
l don't want Mohawk, l want American.
l don't want Dunlop, l want Firestone.
Don't yell at me.
l'd love to have Firestone.
l spent the night at the American Cancer Society with my hand in Jim Barton's pocket and you told me l was wasting my time.
You told me he was dead.
Because Ed Baxter told me the Lucky Strike letter poisoned us with all those companies.
What? Why didn't you tell me that? Because l wrote that letter.
You let that wax figurine discourage you? Why didn't you just ask me? l'll get you a meeting with Firestone.
-lt doesn't mean it's not true.
-Jesus, Don.
You used to love "no.
" "No" used to make you hard.
And whether you admit it or not, things have changed.
You just beat out two huge firms for that shitty car account.
Caroline, get me James Barton at Firestone Tires.
No, get Ed Baxter.
Let that go.
What's Dow Chemical bill? 20 million? lt's about the same size as Lucky Strike.
l'm telling you, Ed Baxter is Moby Dick.
There are easier whales.
So you can't get me a meeting.
They're three buildings away.
Look, l'm sure he'll meet with you.
Even if it's just to watch you eat shit, but it's complicated.
What about Kenny? ln case you've forgotten, he's squeamish about working with his family.
Then fire him.
Hi! What are you doing here? My dad didn't even tell you, did he? l'm spending the weekend here because l didn't wanna go skiing.
l thought you'd be excited.
l just didn't know.
What's wrong with skiing? l hate her so much.
She's such a phony.
You know that's not true.
Can we have tea? Go ahead and put the water out.
Sorry l'm late.
l don't mind waiting 20 minutes for an unspecified meeting with my boss.
l mean, it's not like your imagination would run wild.
So we're going after your father-in-law.
l see.
Well, l've told you before, l can't help with that.
That's what l'm counting on.
What the hell does that mean? We want the business and it has nothing to do with you.
And we'd like to keep it that way, since you'd prefer not to jeopardize your relationship with your wife.
So what do you think's gonna happen when Ed calls me the minute you call him? l don't know.
l suppose you could not answer the phone.
You might be having a drink with your boss.
That's very smart.
l guess there's nothing l can do to muck it up now.
What the hell does that mean? Well, l'd hate to bring it up with Cynthia, even by accident.
Look at you.
What would it take for you to do nothing? Some kind of partnership, assuming it works out? No, l don't want to be your partner.
l've seen what's involved.
All l need is a promise that if you get it, you'll force me on it.
Okay.
You really fought us.
And two other things.
Pete doesn't go to the meeting and Pete doesn't go to any meetings.
As you were.
Where are you coming from? Hemisphere Club.
l've got good news.
l talked to Ed.
-What did he say? -That he'll see you Monday morning.
Monday? Are you kidding me? You said to get you a meeting.
l got you a meeting.
You think this is a serious meeting, giving me 48 hours to prepare? l think that's up to you.
Don't lose your nerve.
l like that guy l saw today.
l missed him.
When did you get here? After lunch.
They couldn't wait to get rid of me.
-Where's Megan? -Taking a nap.
l love when you surprise me.
l forgot about it.
Well, don't forget Betty's not coming home until Monday afternoon, so you can drive her out to school Monday morning.
l have a meeting.
You'll have to do it.
l have an audition.
l'm gonna be gone all morning.
Sally, you'll be here alone Monday morning.
Megan's got plans until lunch.
-l have school.
-Not anymore.
Turn off the damn TV.
Anything else? You don't even call me? Do you know how insulting it is, the assumption that l have nothing else to do? l had to fire Lane today.
What? What happened? He stole money from the company.
He seems so honest.
Why would he do that? What's the difference? lt's all just gossip at a certain point.
You can't tell anyone.
ls the firm okay? We'll be fine.
Did you eat orjust drink? l'm not hungry.
Well, you're gonna have dinner with your daughter.
-l have a lot of work to do.
-So do l.
After dinner.
What are you doing there? We're going to dinner.
No, dear.
We're going to celebrate.
More, obviously.
No, damn it.
What's gotten into you? l've had a dreadful day, dear.
Not all of it.
l'm tired of you refusing to recognize the successes when they come.
l know your work is unpleasant sometimes, but l'm very proud of you.
You're very kind.
You obviously had a good day that turned into a bad day and you drank too much.
But you came home to me on time.
Now you're taking me to dinner.
No arguments.
Can't we just take a cab? l thought racing green.
-How did you get this? -l wrote a check.
l hope you're not cross.
You know what? l don't care if you are.
You never spend on yourself.
lt's always about my travel or Nigel's schooling.
And l told the salesman you were a partner at the car's advertising agency and he gave me a very fair price.
Come, let's take a little drive.
lt's lovely.
Go on, sit in it.
Oh, dear.
You really did overdo it.
Okay, found it.
You sure you don't wanna come? He wants to work.
Look at him.
He's got a big meeting tomorrow.
He'll be miserable.
You girls have fun.
lt's cleared up.
You could just go round the block if you're still not feeling steady.
l've work to do.
l don't understand you.
Are you really going to spend your whole weekend working? Don't you like your present? l love the car and l love you so much, but l don't feel right driving it until l've taken care of some of these errands l've let go.
There'll be plenty of time, dear.
You got sick from drink again yesterday.
Why do you continue? lt's cognac.
lt settles the stomach.
Well, finish up and then we'll go for a drive.
l don't think there's really anything to see.
l was telling Sally about my plan to ensnare David.
Either way, Carter's gonna wanna rehearse with you alone.
Can l get some coffee? l'll have some, too.
He's not gonna bring you coffee.
Georgy Girl, Alfie, Gambit, Night of the Generals, Blow-up? Anything without abortions or foreigners in it? Let's see.
Fistful of Dollars.
l think your father would kill me if l see that without him.
So, l don't understand.
Do you like David or Carter? Well, Carter likes me.
Do you know what he said to me? l can't believe l didn't tell you this.
He asked if l was a redhead everywhere.
Stop! Okay? No, it's okay.
l have a boyfriend.
-Since when? -A while.
But l don't know if he likes me that way.
Then he's not a boyfriend.
A lot of great romances start out as friendships.
A boyfriend's a person that makes you feel special.
A person that knows you.
And holding hands is plenty.
-You should see if you can get a drink.
-l don't want a drink.
-Are you using the lodge phone? -No.
l told Betty and Henry to take their ski vacation and shove it.
-Are you stuck with Bluto again? -No, l'm at Megan's.
That's better, l bet.
Actually, l'm gonna be all alone tomorrow morning.
Wanna come visit me? Really? You can take the train.
lt's not that easy.
l've gotta sneak off campus, which is serious.
Plus, it's a 20-minute bike ride to the station and then two hours on the train.
Forget it.
For a year you've been saying how much you wanted to visit me.
Are we ever gonna see each other? All right.
The earliest l can get to Grand Central is 8:30.
l'm gonna have to work on my paper tonight to get it typed tomorrow.
l gotta get a pen.
Do your homework, don't use the juicer, and l'll be home around 1 :00.
The first thing l'm gonna do is feel that TV.
-Break a leg.
-Thanks.
You gonna tell me what you're gonna talk about or is my look of surprise part of the sales pitch? l don't want it to sound rehearsed.
No danger of that.
Just go in there and keep your cool.
But if he baits you, l want you to punch him in the balls.
-What happened to your enlightenment? -l don't know.
lt wore off.
Just a minute.
Hey.
Come in.
You didn't check the peephole.
l knew it was you, silly.
The doorman sent you up.
-You don't look that different.
-Well, you do.
What do you think? There's a kid at school whose parents have one better than this.
lt has a second floor.
-What do you wanna do? -Are you kidding? The museum's right across the park.
We don't go across the park.
There's bums on the other side.
l've got money for a cab.
Okay.
Let me get my jacket.
How'd they get all these animals? Teddy Roosevelt killed them.
Do you think they were a family? l hope so.
Otherwise, what were they doing? Walking around saying, "We just need a baby to finish this diorama.
" There's this kid, Anderson, he's a senior.
He keeps picking fights with me and he's twice my size.
What a jerk.
All the senior lacrosse guys peed in my locker.
They ruined my jersey.
They're a bunch of sadists.
Henry got picked on when he was little, and now he runs a city.
That's true.
l keep wishing he would leave her.
l know it's wrong.
l feel really bad.
Don't.
You can't make it happen.
Just so you know, l could get in trouble, too, but l really wanted to see you.
Yeah, l can't believe l almost didn't come.
My stomach hurts.
Maybe you're hungry.
Want some caribou? Listen, l feel kind of bad.
They were teasing me and l might have told them that l was coming to the city to do it with you.
Really? Yeah.
They don't know how old you are.
l hope that's okay.
You can say whatever you want, but l l'm not sure that's the way l like you.
Yeah, good.
Yeah.
l always think that you're like my little sister, except smart.
You have a mustache.
l usually shave on Sunday night.
l didn't think you'd care.
l don't like it.
l really don't feel well.
l'll be right back.
Okay.
Meet me in Africa.
Mr.
Baxter will see you now.
You can leave your coats.
An hour and 45 minutes.
Better than l thought.
This is Tom Schafer, director of marketing.
Jack Schmidt, head of household.
-Roger Sterling.
-Don Draper.
Ed, you said they were gonna bring your son-in-law.
Ken knows better.
So, Don, what's so urgent? l didn't say urgent.
l said imminent.
Well, Ed, l wanna talk about your business.
What about it? See, l've been looking at what you're doing and l think you're in desperate need of change.
-And you're just the guy to do it.
-l am.
Are you still the guy who wrote that letter? l don't wanna hear about that letter again.
Do you know how hard we fought to save that account? And they stabbed us first, believe me.
And nobody's gonna wanna be in the cigarette business.
The government's in the process of killing it.
So you're vindictive? Not as vindictive as you, apparently.
l had a feeling this is what this was all about.
lt's not.
This is about your business.
Well, we appreciate that, but we're very happy with MacManus.
l'm sure they're very happy with you.
But you don't owe them anything.
All they have to do is keep running the same work.
You're on the back burner over there, subsidizing all the great creative work they're doing and paying for new business lunches.
As soon as you walk away, that place will fold up like a tent.
We're at 50 % market share in almost everything we make.
Because you have a big line of diverse and charismatic products.
And you keep making more, Ziptape, Styrofoam, Rovana.
And why do you do that? Because even though success is a reality, its effects are temporary.
You get hungry, even though you've just eaten.
At the old firm, we had London Fog raincoats.
We had a year where we sold 81 % of the raincoats in the United States.
Name another raincoat.
But we didn't stop working for them because 81 % isn't enough.
Tell me about napalm.
You mean that stuff those kids outside your building are screaming about? Napalm was invented in 1 942.
The government put it in flamethrowers against the Nazis, impact bombs against the Japanese.
lt was all over Korea.
l was there.
And now it's in Vietnam.
But the important thing is when our boys are fighting and they need it, when America needs it, Dow makes it and it works.
But it doesn't change the fact that we're happy with our agency.
Are you? You're happy with 50%? You're on top and you don't have enough.
You're happy because you're successful for now.
But what is happiness? lt's a moment before you need more happiness.
l won't settle for 50% of anything.
l want 1 00 %.
You're happy with your agency? You're not happy with anything.
You don't want most of it.
You want all of it.
And l won't stop until you get all of it.
Thank you for your time.
Thank you for stopping by.
l'll buy you a drink if you wipe the blood off your mouth.
Sally? Sally! What's going on? She just pulled up in a cab with a $25 fare.
l got it.
Sally? Let me in.
ls Henry out there? No.
Let me in.
l got my My period started and l didn't know what to do.
l just wanted to come home.
lt's okay.
We'll take care of it.
lt's okay, sweetheart.
lt's okay.
l'm sorry to bother you, but can l leave these here? Why? Mr.
Pryce hasn't come in yet and his door is locked, and l don't feel comfortable with the company's records parked on the edge of my desk.
Just leave them.
Please tell him to call me the minute he gets back.
Thank you, Dawn.
-Can l help you? -ls Sally here? She's not.
Who are you? l'm Glen.
l left my bag here.
Do you know where she is? No.
l just asked you.
What is going on? What are you doing here? l don't know, okay? We went to the museum and she said she wasn't feeling well, and then she just took off.
l looked for her and finally just thought, maybe she came back here.
l just need my bag, okay? Calm down.
-When was this? -l don't know.
l was at the museum for a long time.
l really looked for her.
l didn't do anything.
l just want my bag.
l would have left it, but l've got a book on Nat Turner in there and my paper's due tomorrow.
Don't move.
-Hello? -Yes, Megan.
l was just calling to say if you or Don were wondering where Sally is, she found her way home.
Thank God.
l just found out or l would have called.
What happened? Well She became a woman today.
She started.
l think she just needed her mother.
No, of course.
Well, let her know that l'm glad she's okay.
l will.
What happened? She wasn't feeling well.
-Was that Betty? -Yes.
Where are you going? To Grand Central to get the train back to school.
l've already lost one kid today.
l'll put you on the train.
Well, it doesn't leave until 7:00.
Look, just wait here, finish your paper.
l'll take you later.
Do you want something to eat? lf you don't mind.
What's going on? l think something's terribly wrong in Mr.
Pryce's office.
l can't get the door open.
Dear Lord.
Jesus.
Here.
Are you feeling better? -l'm so embarrassed.
-Don't be.
And if you ever get in trouble like that again, just ask another woman.
They'll understand.
Oh, gosh, l don't wanna talk about it.
Move over.
l wanna lie down.
There's a lot of responsibilities, but that's what being a woman is.
And when it happens every month, even though it's unpleasant, it means everything's working.
lt means everything's ready for a baby when you want one.
And maybe you'll have a beautiful girl and you can tell her all this.
Well, l'll tell you one thing, if they haven't called the agency, they probably called the men in white coats.
Hello? l think you should sit down.
What's going on? Lane hanged himself in his office.
What? Cooper sent everybody home.
Told them there was a building emergency.
Nobody knows.
What the hell happened? Who knows? Come on, l'm taking you home.
No, l wanna wait.
For what? We're waiting for the coroner to cut him down and take him away.
What, he's still in there? We can't leave him like that.
They said not to disturb the body.
-lt's a crime scene.
-Come on.
We can't leave him like that.
Get something to cut him down.
Here, cut.
Jesus.
Come on.
Let's go.
"To my fellow partners.
" Open it.
lt's a resignation letter.
lt's boilerplate.
What are you doing home? Hello, Mr.
Draper.
Who are you? This is Glen.
He's Sally's friend.
He's waiting for his train.
Where's Sally? She went home.
l'll explain later.
l don't understand.
l gotta lie down.
We've met before.
l used to live down the street in Ossining.
You know my mother, Helen Bishop? Oh, right.
l should just go.
And sit in Grand Central until 7:00? l'll be fine.
Where are you headed? l go to Hotchkiss.
lt's up in Lakeville.
lt's a couple of hours away.
That's fine.
Let's go.
Are you sure? Yes.
Are you okay? l had a bad day.
We can talk about it later.
Thank you very much for your hospitality, Megan.
lt was very nice to meet you.
Why does everything turn out crappy? What do you mean? l don't know.
Everything you wanna do, everything you think is gonna make you happy just turns to crap.
You're too young to talk that way.
But it's true.
What do you wanna do? lf you could do anything, what would you do?