Magnum, P.I. (1980) s05e12 Episode Script
Little Games
You were playing some insipid game on Robin Masters' $100,000 computer system! When I entered my passcode, the computer said, "Hi, Magnum, want to finish our game?" Sometime within the next 24 hours, I'll penetrate the estate, enter the safe, and remove My ring.
The important thing is we know someone's breaking in.
It doesn't do us a bloody bit of good if we don't know where they are.
Are you falling in love with a man you only met two days ago? Of course not.
I think you're dangerous enough on your own.
I'm just very good at what I do.
Good morning.
Please tell Senor Urrutio that Miss Villoroch has just penetrated his impenetrable security system.
Warning, there is a red dragon behind this door! Oops! Passageway blocked.
Damn! Try again.
Okay.
Right.
False exit.
There is a trap door two steps in front of you.
Come on, I've been trapped in this corridor for over two hours! Okay.
Secret door.
Wrong again.
You have used all of your warning wands.
One more wrong choice will unleash a white demon.
Hurry, Magnum, or you will forfeit the game.
Calm down, you little turkey.
Give me some time to think.
Yeah.
- Magnum? Mac? - Dungeon Master says Wait, I can't.
you have 10 seconds.
9, 8, You're where? Wait Hold on, hold on.
7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
Too late, you lose! Drop dead! Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
Magnum, are you still there? I'm in big trouble.
My Aunt Mildred once said, "The only difference between men and boys is the kind of games they play.
" All right, maybe I should have gone to Higgins and told him I'd crashed the security system trying to beat the Dungeon Master, but Mac's call for help took priority over some tangled-up computer program.
Besides, I figured a drive in the night air might help me figure out some way of reprogramming it.
Mac said he'd been arrested for selling stolen goods.
Now, I think I know enough about Mac to believe that he might con the shirt off your back, but I don't think he'd ever steal it.
I think.
Hey, Magnum.
This guy said he's a friend of yours.
Thomas, am I glad to see you.
There's been a terrible mistake here.
The only mistake is your possession of stolen property.
But I didn't know it was stolen.
Tell him, Magnum.
John, look, I have known Mac for some time now, and Then you know that Mac's not his real name.
Yeah, of course, it's his nickname.
His real name is Jim Bonig.
His ID says Peter Kernan.
You see, I explained to the officer that I was doing some surveillance work for you and that we decided You what? It's not important.
The point is, I didn't steal this stuff.
Now, there was a kid, stopped by my stand A stand for which you did not have an operator's license.
Well, of course not, because I wasn't really selling anything.
I was working undercover for Magnum.
That's it, Mac! Anyway, this kid offers me a great deal on this bauble jewelry stuff.
Says he got it directly from the manufacturers, said he had papers and everything to prove it.
Computerized forgeries, which I think you are guilty of.
That's ridiculous! John, could I talk to Mac Jim Him, alone? Hey, I didn't steal that stuff.
Just tell me the truth, Mac.
Well, it's the only fair thing I could do.
I mean, that junk jewelry had been stuck in Customs for a year.
Harlen found out that it was about to be sold at auction for its duty, so I liberated it.
I hate that word.
But what I need to know is, did you use a computer to forge those documents? Yes.
I bypassed the dock entry code and I programmed the shipping bills, turning the jewelry over to Harlen.
Then you know how to program a computer? Well, I can get you a ticket to just about any place in the world.
I can add a couple of zeros to your bank account.
I can probably even erase your bill down at the phone company.
Yeah, I guess you could say I can program a computer.
How about a computerized security system? What are you up to? I crashed the estate security system computer.
You? How'd you do that? Never mind.
What I need to do is get it back online before Higgins or the insurance company find out.
Insurance company? Magnum, what's going on? This is a secret.
My lips are sealed.
In two days, a $170 million jewelry competition is going to be held at the estate.
$170 million Shh.
Can you do it? Do what? Reprogram the computer.
Yeah.
But I can't do anything from jail.
Well, this doesn't mean I condone what you did.
I didn't do anything! I liberated junk that was being sold at auction John, Mac, he is willing to admit that he's guilty What? of operating a stand without a license.
The charge is possession of stolen goods.
Yeah, which are now in your possession, John, and they're probably not worth more than a hundred bucks.
A lot of paperwork I release him into your custody? Of course.
If I so much as catch him spitting on a sidewalk.
I never spit.
Operating without a vendor's license is a $300 fine.
Pay him, Mac.
Magnum, Magnum, I don't have 300 bucks.
It took my entire ready-teller account to get Mac out, but it was worth it if he could fix the Dracos Three before Higgins found out.
I was surprised when your insurance company informed me that you were coming to inspect our security system, Miss Villoroch.
Surprised? Well, under the circumstances, one is not usually afforded the opportunity to prepare.
I see.
Excuse me.
One can't be too careful, can one? Oh, my God.
I penetrated the grounds at 0500 hours this morning.
From there to the main house, it took me the electronic system and bypass any connection that might sound the alarm.
I used a sonic pulser to vibrate the electronic locks open.
At 0523, I located the safe, opened it, and removed the contents.
All of Mr.
Masters' personal papers are here, unread, of course.
But I couldn't resist the last chapter of his new novel.
Good ending.
I'll have to buy the book.
This is impossible.
The Dracos Three computer system is the most advanced in the world.
Yes.
When it's activated.
I'm afraid I will have to inform my superiors that this estate is inadequate for the requirements of their jewelry competition.
Just a minute, Higgins.
Magnum! Why was the Dracos Three not activated last night? I can explain that.
See, I was having a little problem.
Problem? Problem? Well, I was running a routine check of the guests for the competition and And? And it broke.
Oh, my God! It's not that bad, Higgins.
You've crashed the Dracos Three! You were playing games again.
Games? Don't lie to me, Magnum.
You were playing some insipid game on Robin Masters' $100,000 computer system! It made me do it! It what? It made me do it! It made you do it? I came in here to do my nightly check and when I entered my passcode, the computer said, "Hi, Magnum, want to finish our game?" You said you had erased all those games.
Well, I must have missed one.
Don't worry, Higgins, I'll have this thing reprogrammed before the competition.
You told him? Him? Well, I had no choice.
It had to be reprogrammed before it was too late.
It is already too late! A representative of the insurance company breached the estate last night, including the safe.
They won't insure the competition, so there will be no competition.
And it's all your fault! Mac and I managed to calm Higgins down.
Well, maybe "calm" wasn't the right word, but at least he stopped yelling.
We convinced him that Mac would be able to reprogram the system in time for the competition.
Now, the only thing I had to do was convince Miss Villoroch not to pull the competition from the estate.
Rick told me to look for a snowflake who double-billed as the ice princess.
Miss Villoroch? Yes.
My name is Thomas Magnum, and I sort of help with security at the Masters Estate.
Oh.
Well, Higgins told me that you were staying at the Club and I thought that You thought that you could talk me out of filing my report.
Well, you're wasting your time.
I think it's best for all concerned that the competition be moved somewhere more secure.
There is nowhere more secure on the entire Island than Robin's Nest.
Really? Yes, really.
And if you would just stop a minute and listen to me, I could tell you that, number one, you don't have all the facts, and number two, in my opinion, your little surprise visit to the estate was totally unfair.
I don't think that fairness has anything to do with the fact that the estate has inadequate security.
But the security computer was down.
Excuses don't pay insurance claims.
Okay, okay, you're right.
You're right.
But I think the important thing to remember here is there was no way that you would have been able to penetrate the estate if the computer was functioning.
I wouldn't? No, you wouldn't.
Is that a challenge? Yes.
Accepted.
Sometime within the next 24 hours, I'll penetrate the estate, enter the safe, and remove what? My ring.
Done.
Good.
Miss Villoroch? There's a dinner for the designers and judges at the Club tonight.
Would you like to go as my guest? Why would you want to ask me to dinner? Well, that way I'd know you wouldn't be breaking into the estate.
Will you stop that? I can't concentrate with you pacing up and down like a lion in heat.
Really? What are you worried about, Higgins? Magnum got her to hold off calling the insurance company and I got this thing accepting data.
Just a matter of time before I'll have this baby good as new.
And if it isn't, I shall have to inform Mr.
Masters that his jewelry competition, the Robin Masters' International Design Competition, will not take place at the Robin Masters Estate.
Well, Higgins, you know my motto, "Life is hard, and then you die.
" That's positively dysphoric.
Hi, guys.
Hey, you look terrific.
Thanks.
What are you doing in a tuxedo? I'm going to the opening dinner for the jewelry competition.
You're what? I'm going to the dinner, and, Higgins, I am taking Krista Villoroch.
Well, that's the most absurd thing I've ever heard.
Why on earth would you wanna take her to the competition dinner? And more importantly, if you do go, who's going to stay here and watch him? Wait a minute, wait a minute.
I don't need anybody to stay here with me.
I mean, I don't want a watchdog looking over my shoulder.
I mean, here I am, spending my own time, helping you two protect $170 million worth of jewelry, and you treat me like a criminal, a common criminal.
You're right, Higgins.
One of us has to stay.
Precisely.
Now that we've reached an understanding, I estimate that I shall be home around 11:30.
No! Wait a minute, I have to go.
As the curator of Robin Masters Estate, it is my obligation to represent him at the opening dinner.
Higgins, I am taking Krista so that I can keep an eye on her.
As long as we're together, she can't very well break into the estate, now can she? I suppose you're right.
You know I'm right.
Then I shall escort Miss Villoroch to dinner.
No! Now, wait.
Wait a minute.
I mean, you can't.
I mean, well, I mean, I have to.
I mean, she practically begged me to take her.
I mean, how would it look if you showed up instead of me? If she has any sensitivities, like a stroke of incredible luck.
No! I mean, come on, Higgins, what if you can't keep her there? I mean, what if she left the dinner and came back and broke into the estate before the Dracus Three was functioning? Dracos.
Dracus.
Dracos.
Whatever.
Anyway, look, I mean, she'd have to withdraw the competition, and you'd have to tell Robin.
Magnum, why do I have the impression that your sudden enthusiasm for the estate's security has something to do with the fact that Miss Villoroch is a beautiful woman? Higgins, please, this is strictly business.
It had better be.
And you call me a con man.
I'm running a little late.
Would you put that in the safe, please? This? With the caliber of jewelry at the dinner, who on earth would want to steal this? Krista.
I bet her she couldn't.
Bye, guys.
Why do I get the feeling you're not having a wonderful time? I assure you, it has nothing to do with the company.
It's them.
Something about them makes me, I don't know, uncomfortable.
You know, I've been trying to figure out who they are.
Cartier, Tiffany, Bulgari.
You name any major jeweler, and I assure you they're represented here.
You see that woman over there? In the burgundy dress? Where? With the diamond choker.
Oh, yeah.
That's the Countess Carolyn Lysanne, one of the few successful independent designers.
She only designs for her friends, a dark horse in the competition.
She's a dark horse? It's all politics.
Take the man next to her, Karl Vandercliff.
He and his wife have won this competition three years running.
He finds the stones and she designs the pieces.
Well, that sounds like a very nice arrangement.
It's the stones that count.
They own several South African diamond mines, and have one of the largest private collections of rare old stones in the world.
I thought all diamonds were old and rare.
I mean, stones that have been passed around for centuries.
I know that.
It was just a joke.
You mean, like the Hope Diamond? And the Star of Tibet.
And the one they have set for this year's competition, the Karachi Diamond.
It must be Krista Villoroch, I can't believe you have the nerve to show your face here! Lenor, a pleasure as always.
I think it best if you leave now, Krista.
Excuse me, Miss Villoroch is my guest.
Then I suggest you find out a little more about the company you keep.
Like the fact that her father is a professional jewel thief.
He's retired.
Well, then I suppose you're here to continue the family business? I don't condone my father's past, but I'm not gonna spend the rest of my life apologizing for it.
Now, get out of my way before I forget I'm a lady and throw this drink in your face.
You wouldn't dare.
Sorry.
Excuse me.
You all right? I think it best if you just left me alone.
I don't wanna just leave you alone, I wanna know if you're all right.
I will be.
I'm sorry about what happened back there.
I'm sorry if I embarrassed you.
I'm even sorry she happened to be one of the people my father robbed.
Well, it's like you said, that's his past, not yours.
Not many people see it like that.
Oh, so your dad did teach you.
It must have been an exciting way to grow up.
It was.
When I first found out about Doc being a thief, I was embarrassed.
Off in an expensive school in Europe, rubbing elbows with the wealthiest kids in the world, whilst my father was robbing their parents.
Well, at least you knew they hung around in the same circles.
It really doesn't bother you, does it? That your father was a jewel thief, no.
Because you're not.
I could have been.
Doc was the best.
He taught me everything.
Now, I know there's a segue into insurance investigator in here somewhere.
That was Doc's idea.
He made me promise never to use what he had taught me to steal.
So he contacted the head of Wakeman, and made them an offer they couldn't refuse.
Precautionary investigator.
I've saved them a fortune in claim payments.
And at the same time, you get the thrill of the heist.
No.
No thrills.
There's something about knowing you have to give it all back that takes the danger away.
Well, somehow, I think you're dangerous enough on your own.
I'm just very good at what I do.
Got an intruder in area 7.
It works! Only if the intruder is a ghost.
The cameras aren't picking anyone up in Area 7.
That's impossible.
Well, the important thing is, we know someone's breaking in.
It doesn't do us a bloody bit of good if we don't know where they are.
You haven't opened the lock yet? I'm hooked.
Come on, just tear it off.
This is one of my best cashmere sweaters.
I'm not gonna tear it any more than it's already torn.
You wore a cashmere sweater to a break in? It was the only black sweater that I had.
The point is that all the sensors have been connected to the wrong computer inputs.
It's a minor miscalculation.
As Magnum says, the important thing is, is that the system works.
Except for the fact that we now have to figure out what's connected to what.
Guys, please! This was my favorite sweater.
Bootsie gave this to me on our anniversary.
I don't think three weeks constitutes an anniversary.
Hey, what do you know? I bet a woman never gave you an expensive gift in your life.
T.
C: Drop it, Orville.
Will you come on? Open it, will you? Open it! I'm gonna open your nose with those pliers, if you don't shut up.
You'd think Thomas would have left the lock off for us.
T.
C: Damn! What? He did.
Now, look what you did! You broke the little contact that hooks up to the thingy.
You're the one who opened the window! Good.
Now, you have 10 seconds to type in the code before the alarm goes off.
Code? You didn't program in a reset code? I'm doing it now.
It won't accept the code! Well, of course it won't accept the code, it's in alarm mode! That means the police are getting an alarm! I'll phone the police and let them know.
What now? The lines are dead! Thomas, you owe me a new sweater! What? You owe me 200 bucks for a new sweater! Can't you turn this thing off? No! Do something I thought things like that only happened in movies.
Only in Marx Brothers movies.
But when you're dealing with my crack security team, anything is likely to happen.
Oh, I wouldn't say that.
You're very good at what you do.
When you don't allow distractions to get in the way.
Distractions? Games, friends A beautiful woman on the beach? You know, it's my mistake, I I thought we were going riding to spend some time together.
I didn't realize this was a distraction maneuver.
Who's distracting who? As long as I'm here, your ring is safe.
So, we're just playing games? I never play games of the heart.
Just games of the head? Just the making of a wonderful fantasy.
Here we are on an empty beach in paradise.
Two strangers on horseback.
If this were the movie version, I'd break into a fast gallop through the surf.
Oh, yeah? And then what? You'd chase me, all in slow motion, of course.
Of course.
With incredibly romantic music.
Naturally.
And then, my horse throws me into the surf, and you leap off.
Leap? And we kiss.
Of course, we could just skip the preliminaries and get to what matters.
Where's the sunset when I need it? Hi, Rick.
Ah, good.
I was just calling you.
This here, is a repair bill for my sweater.
And you're lucky that the Tiny Tailor can repair it or you'd be buying me a new sweater.
Whatever you say.
What are you doing here? My adding machine broke.
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
You mean there's no argument, nothing? What's to argue? You helped me out, you damaged your sweater in the process.
The least I can do is pay to repair it.
Are you all right? I'm fine.
The computer is working again, the jewelry competition is going to be held at the estate, and Krista is having dinner with me tonight.
That's strange.
Miss Villoroch invited me to dine with her tonight.
What? Miss Villoroch invited me to dinner.
Why would she invite the both of you to dinner? Thomas, would you please explain to these officers what's going on? You mean going to jail isn't part of the game? Not unless you would derive some perverse pleasure from it.
It's okay, guys, really.
She's just here to check the security.
I thought you did that this morning? We were We were, but Miss Villoroch represents the insurance company, and she had to approve the system herself.
Funny way to test a system.
Not really.
I assure you, the next time you hear this alarm, it will be for a real emergency only.
Next time you wanna test your system, why don't you let us know in advance? Of course, and if there's anything we can do You can fill out this report.
I lose.
You got the ring.
I got caught.
What I want to know is what I missed.
Infra-red security system on the inside of the safe.
Impossible.
I have special lenses that would have caught that.
It's passive.
It's activated by the heat of your hand.
I'm proud of you, Krista.
You're the best daughter a father could have.
A toast.
To the two greatest jewel thieves of all time.
Us.
Beautiful, isn't it? Beautiful.
I meant the Karachi.
Well, I don't know.
It's a little much for my taste.
It's perfect.
Doc used to tell me bedtime stories about this stone, how it was taken in ransom for a Persian emperor by Alexander the Great.
Then stolen years later, during the Crusades, as a gift for the throne of England.
Only it never made it to the court of Richard the Lion-Hearted.
Legend says that a thousand men were executed trying to find its whereabouts.
Charming bedtime stories.
How did the present owner get his hands on it? No one knows for certain.
It was in Hitler's collection during the Second World War and ended up in South America.
Rumor has it that Lenor Vandercliff bought it from Martin Bormann in the late '50s.
The woman you shared your champagne with at the opening dinner? Right.
Well, maybe she won't win.
I don't hold grudges, Thomas.
There are better ways to expend one's time and energy.
What's this one? - This is out of the Bulgari Collection.
You can see the consistency of the style and the use of the multicolored This is damned awkward.
Miss Villoroch, I'm afraid Lenor Vandercliff has threatened to pull her entry from the competition if I do not ask you to leave the premises.
No, she's not leaving.
It's all right, I'll go.
No.
I consider it in very poor taste.
As far as I'm concerned, you're welcome to stay, regardless of the consequences.
No.
It's all right, really.
We wouldn't want the Karachi pulled from the competition.
This competition has been a great burden, and I won't rest until the final photographs are taken tomorrow and the jewels are returned to their owners.
Just one more night.
Again, Miss Villoroch, my humble apologies.
No need.
I'll see you to the door.
I think I'll go back in there and throw champagne in her face, and Higgins'.
No, it's just a waste of A waste of good champagne.
Or we could steal the Karachi.
If we're gonna steal the Karachi, why not take the entire collection? We could plan a strategy over dinner.
What strategy? You've already done it twice.
The third time would require something new.
I'll tell you all about it at dinner.
Thank you.
Shall we make it Ma Mer at 9:00? Ladies and gentlemen, honored guests, and participants in the 5th Annual Robin Masters' International Design Competition.
This afternoon, we are honored to have 10 of the world's top jewelry designers grace us with their magnificent creations.
Jewelry design is an art form as old as time itself.
Man has always adorned himself, in one form or another, with pieces of the beauty that surrounds him.
These talented men and women have combined the treasures of the earth and the sea with their own creative visions, and brought them here to share with us today.
Certainly, each of these superb designs deserves an award, but there is only one to win.
Thus, I offer my heartfelt appreciation, and hope for their continued success.
Now, I won't keep you in anguish any longer, because I know what you really want is to get this over with and get on with the banquet.
It gives me great pleasure to announce the winner of this year's competition.
For the fourth consecutive year, Lenor Vandercliff, for her masterpiece creation, the Karachi Necklace.
Thank you.
I am, quite literally, speechless.
Winning the Robin Masters' Competition is by far the most gratifying reward I couldn't help but wonder if Lenor Vandercliff would keep designing jewelry if there were no competition to enter, no games to keep her going.
And then I thought about Krista.
She was asking me to trust that she would walk away from $170 million, that she would intentionally throw the game.
And I suddenly realized, I really wanted to believe that.
We already know we can do it, Doc.
It doesn't mean we have to.
Krista, are you falling in love with a man you only met two days ago? Of course not.
And don't change the subject.
The subject is $170 million worth of jewelry.
It's the theft of a lifetime.
You just can't ask me to throw it away.
It's too dangerous.
There's no thrill if there's no danger.
I don't want you to spend the rest of your life in prison.
There are not that many more years left.
I know.
That's why I don't want to waste them.
You don't want to waste them? Yes, like all the years you spent tripping around the world, whilst I was in one boarding school or another.
All the Christmases alone because that was your best season.
God, Doc, why do you think I asked you to teach me everything? I just wanted some way we could be together.
Krista, I love you, but you can't ask me to turn my back on the most famous jewelry theft in all of history.
I've breached that estate twice in the past two days.
We've already proved we can do it.
It's not the same thing.
What you did was an exercise.
There's a difference when it's real.
There's that moment in the heart of a theft when your blood turns to ice and the sweat blinds you, and if you can't shut off the fear, you just might miss that one something that'll get you caught.
Where the hell is the thrill? Just on the other side.
The most incredible high in the world.
Share it with me, Krista.
It's like nothing you'll ever experience.
Nothing! I decided to believe in my emotions and show up.
Maybe this was one game that could end in a draw.
You're not changing anything, are you? No, not tonight.
If something's not right, it stays as is.
I appreciate your vigilance regarding this whole sordid incident.
I need all the help I can get.
I've even decided to place the lads inside the den as a precautionary measure.
Dogs on duty, huh, guys? Yes.
So, I want to bypass the carpet sensors in there.
Bypass? The sensors don't show anything.
It's probably those hang-glider people celebrating the coming of the Kona winds.
Would you care to order, Magnum? It doesn't look like your friend's gonna show up.
Oh, I'll wait a little longer.
Thanks.
I will have another beer though, Larry.
You were wonderful, Krista, wonderful! I wish I could have The drawers are all empty! What the hell? Excuse me, Magnum, but a lady asked me to give this to you.
She said to say thanks.
She owes you one.
Yeah.
I'll tell you what, Larry, I'll have an 18-ounce New York charred rare with some baked potato skins and some extra parsley.
And I think I'll have a scotch this time.
The important thing is we know someone's breaking in.
It doesn't do us a bloody bit of good if we don't know where they are.
Are you falling in love with a man you only met two days ago? Of course not.
I think you're dangerous enough on your own.
I'm just very good at what I do.
Good morning.
Please tell Senor Urrutio that Miss Villoroch has just penetrated his impenetrable security system.
Warning, there is a red dragon behind this door! Oops! Passageway blocked.
Damn! Try again.
Okay.
Right.
False exit.
There is a trap door two steps in front of you.
Come on, I've been trapped in this corridor for over two hours! Okay.
Secret door.
Wrong again.
You have used all of your warning wands.
One more wrong choice will unleash a white demon.
Hurry, Magnum, or you will forfeit the game.
Calm down, you little turkey.
Give me some time to think.
Yeah.
- Magnum? Mac? - Dungeon Master says Wait, I can't.
you have 10 seconds.
9, 8, You're where? Wait Hold on, hold on.
7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
Too late, you lose! Drop dead! Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
Magnum, are you still there? I'm in big trouble.
My Aunt Mildred once said, "The only difference between men and boys is the kind of games they play.
" All right, maybe I should have gone to Higgins and told him I'd crashed the security system trying to beat the Dungeon Master, but Mac's call for help took priority over some tangled-up computer program.
Besides, I figured a drive in the night air might help me figure out some way of reprogramming it.
Mac said he'd been arrested for selling stolen goods.
Now, I think I know enough about Mac to believe that he might con the shirt off your back, but I don't think he'd ever steal it.
I think.
Hey, Magnum.
This guy said he's a friend of yours.
Thomas, am I glad to see you.
There's been a terrible mistake here.
The only mistake is your possession of stolen property.
But I didn't know it was stolen.
Tell him, Magnum.
John, look, I have known Mac for some time now, and Then you know that Mac's not his real name.
Yeah, of course, it's his nickname.
His real name is Jim Bonig.
His ID says Peter Kernan.
You see, I explained to the officer that I was doing some surveillance work for you and that we decided You what? It's not important.
The point is, I didn't steal this stuff.
Now, there was a kid, stopped by my stand A stand for which you did not have an operator's license.
Well, of course not, because I wasn't really selling anything.
I was working undercover for Magnum.
That's it, Mac! Anyway, this kid offers me a great deal on this bauble jewelry stuff.
Says he got it directly from the manufacturers, said he had papers and everything to prove it.
Computerized forgeries, which I think you are guilty of.
That's ridiculous! John, could I talk to Mac Jim Him, alone? Hey, I didn't steal that stuff.
Just tell me the truth, Mac.
Well, it's the only fair thing I could do.
I mean, that junk jewelry had been stuck in Customs for a year.
Harlen found out that it was about to be sold at auction for its duty, so I liberated it.
I hate that word.
But what I need to know is, did you use a computer to forge those documents? Yes.
I bypassed the dock entry code and I programmed the shipping bills, turning the jewelry over to Harlen.
Then you know how to program a computer? Well, I can get you a ticket to just about any place in the world.
I can add a couple of zeros to your bank account.
I can probably even erase your bill down at the phone company.
Yeah, I guess you could say I can program a computer.
How about a computerized security system? What are you up to? I crashed the estate security system computer.
You? How'd you do that? Never mind.
What I need to do is get it back online before Higgins or the insurance company find out.
Insurance company? Magnum, what's going on? This is a secret.
My lips are sealed.
In two days, a $170 million jewelry competition is going to be held at the estate.
$170 million Shh.
Can you do it? Do what? Reprogram the computer.
Yeah.
But I can't do anything from jail.
Well, this doesn't mean I condone what you did.
I didn't do anything! I liberated junk that was being sold at auction John, Mac, he is willing to admit that he's guilty What? of operating a stand without a license.
The charge is possession of stolen goods.
Yeah, which are now in your possession, John, and they're probably not worth more than a hundred bucks.
A lot of paperwork I release him into your custody? Of course.
If I so much as catch him spitting on a sidewalk.
I never spit.
Operating without a vendor's license is a $300 fine.
Pay him, Mac.
Magnum, Magnum, I don't have 300 bucks.
It took my entire ready-teller account to get Mac out, but it was worth it if he could fix the Dracos Three before Higgins found out.
I was surprised when your insurance company informed me that you were coming to inspect our security system, Miss Villoroch.
Surprised? Well, under the circumstances, one is not usually afforded the opportunity to prepare.
I see.
Excuse me.
One can't be too careful, can one? Oh, my God.
I penetrated the grounds at 0500 hours this morning.
From there to the main house, it took me the electronic system and bypass any connection that might sound the alarm.
I used a sonic pulser to vibrate the electronic locks open.
At 0523, I located the safe, opened it, and removed the contents.
All of Mr.
Masters' personal papers are here, unread, of course.
But I couldn't resist the last chapter of his new novel.
Good ending.
I'll have to buy the book.
This is impossible.
The Dracos Three computer system is the most advanced in the world.
Yes.
When it's activated.
I'm afraid I will have to inform my superiors that this estate is inadequate for the requirements of their jewelry competition.
Just a minute, Higgins.
Magnum! Why was the Dracos Three not activated last night? I can explain that.
See, I was having a little problem.
Problem? Problem? Well, I was running a routine check of the guests for the competition and And? And it broke.
Oh, my God! It's not that bad, Higgins.
You've crashed the Dracos Three! You were playing games again.
Games? Don't lie to me, Magnum.
You were playing some insipid game on Robin Masters' $100,000 computer system! It made me do it! It what? It made me do it! It made you do it? I came in here to do my nightly check and when I entered my passcode, the computer said, "Hi, Magnum, want to finish our game?" You said you had erased all those games.
Well, I must have missed one.
Don't worry, Higgins, I'll have this thing reprogrammed before the competition.
You told him? Him? Well, I had no choice.
It had to be reprogrammed before it was too late.
It is already too late! A representative of the insurance company breached the estate last night, including the safe.
They won't insure the competition, so there will be no competition.
And it's all your fault! Mac and I managed to calm Higgins down.
Well, maybe "calm" wasn't the right word, but at least he stopped yelling.
We convinced him that Mac would be able to reprogram the system in time for the competition.
Now, the only thing I had to do was convince Miss Villoroch not to pull the competition from the estate.
Rick told me to look for a snowflake who double-billed as the ice princess.
Miss Villoroch? Yes.
My name is Thomas Magnum, and I sort of help with security at the Masters Estate.
Oh.
Well, Higgins told me that you were staying at the Club and I thought that You thought that you could talk me out of filing my report.
Well, you're wasting your time.
I think it's best for all concerned that the competition be moved somewhere more secure.
There is nowhere more secure on the entire Island than Robin's Nest.
Really? Yes, really.
And if you would just stop a minute and listen to me, I could tell you that, number one, you don't have all the facts, and number two, in my opinion, your little surprise visit to the estate was totally unfair.
I don't think that fairness has anything to do with the fact that the estate has inadequate security.
But the security computer was down.
Excuses don't pay insurance claims.
Okay, okay, you're right.
You're right.
But I think the important thing to remember here is there was no way that you would have been able to penetrate the estate if the computer was functioning.
I wouldn't? No, you wouldn't.
Is that a challenge? Yes.
Accepted.
Sometime within the next 24 hours, I'll penetrate the estate, enter the safe, and remove what? My ring.
Done.
Good.
Miss Villoroch? There's a dinner for the designers and judges at the Club tonight.
Would you like to go as my guest? Why would you want to ask me to dinner? Well, that way I'd know you wouldn't be breaking into the estate.
Will you stop that? I can't concentrate with you pacing up and down like a lion in heat.
Really? What are you worried about, Higgins? Magnum got her to hold off calling the insurance company and I got this thing accepting data.
Just a matter of time before I'll have this baby good as new.
And if it isn't, I shall have to inform Mr.
Masters that his jewelry competition, the Robin Masters' International Design Competition, will not take place at the Robin Masters Estate.
Well, Higgins, you know my motto, "Life is hard, and then you die.
" That's positively dysphoric.
Hi, guys.
Hey, you look terrific.
Thanks.
What are you doing in a tuxedo? I'm going to the opening dinner for the jewelry competition.
You're what? I'm going to the dinner, and, Higgins, I am taking Krista Villoroch.
Well, that's the most absurd thing I've ever heard.
Why on earth would you wanna take her to the competition dinner? And more importantly, if you do go, who's going to stay here and watch him? Wait a minute, wait a minute.
I don't need anybody to stay here with me.
I mean, I don't want a watchdog looking over my shoulder.
I mean, here I am, spending my own time, helping you two protect $170 million worth of jewelry, and you treat me like a criminal, a common criminal.
You're right, Higgins.
One of us has to stay.
Precisely.
Now that we've reached an understanding, I estimate that I shall be home around 11:30.
No! Wait a minute, I have to go.
As the curator of Robin Masters Estate, it is my obligation to represent him at the opening dinner.
Higgins, I am taking Krista so that I can keep an eye on her.
As long as we're together, she can't very well break into the estate, now can she? I suppose you're right.
You know I'm right.
Then I shall escort Miss Villoroch to dinner.
No! Now, wait.
Wait a minute.
I mean, you can't.
I mean, well, I mean, I have to.
I mean, she practically begged me to take her.
I mean, how would it look if you showed up instead of me? If she has any sensitivities, like a stroke of incredible luck.
No! I mean, come on, Higgins, what if you can't keep her there? I mean, what if she left the dinner and came back and broke into the estate before the Dracus Three was functioning? Dracos.
Dracus.
Dracos.
Whatever.
Anyway, look, I mean, she'd have to withdraw the competition, and you'd have to tell Robin.
Magnum, why do I have the impression that your sudden enthusiasm for the estate's security has something to do with the fact that Miss Villoroch is a beautiful woman? Higgins, please, this is strictly business.
It had better be.
And you call me a con man.
I'm running a little late.
Would you put that in the safe, please? This? With the caliber of jewelry at the dinner, who on earth would want to steal this? Krista.
I bet her she couldn't.
Bye, guys.
Why do I get the feeling you're not having a wonderful time? I assure you, it has nothing to do with the company.
It's them.
Something about them makes me, I don't know, uncomfortable.
You know, I've been trying to figure out who they are.
Cartier, Tiffany, Bulgari.
You name any major jeweler, and I assure you they're represented here.
You see that woman over there? In the burgundy dress? Where? With the diamond choker.
Oh, yeah.
That's the Countess Carolyn Lysanne, one of the few successful independent designers.
She only designs for her friends, a dark horse in the competition.
She's a dark horse? It's all politics.
Take the man next to her, Karl Vandercliff.
He and his wife have won this competition three years running.
He finds the stones and she designs the pieces.
Well, that sounds like a very nice arrangement.
It's the stones that count.
They own several South African diamond mines, and have one of the largest private collections of rare old stones in the world.
I thought all diamonds were old and rare.
I mean, stones that have been passed around for centuries.
I know that.
It was just a joke.
You mean, like the Hope Diamond? And the Star of Tibet.
And the one they have set for this year's competition, the Karachi Diamond.
It must be Krista Villoroch, I can't believe you have the nerve to show your face here! Lenor, a pleasure as always.
I think it best if you leave now, Krista.
Excuse me, Miss Villoroch is my guest.
Then I suggest you find out a little more about the company you keep.
Like the fact that her father is a professional jewel thief.
He's retired.
Well, then I suppose you're here to continue the family business? I don't condone my father's past, but I'm not gonna spend the rest of my life apologizing for it.
Now, get out of my way before I forget I'm a lady and throw this drink in your face.
You wouldn't dare.
Sorry.
Excuse me.
You all right? I think it best if you just left me alone.
I don't wanna just leave you alone, I wanna know if you're all right.
I will be.
I'm sorry about what happened back there.
I'm sorry if I embarrassed you.
I'm even sorry she happened to be one of the people my father robbed.
Well, it's like you said, that's his past, not yours.
Not many people see it like that.
Oh, so your dad did teach you.
It must have been an exciting way to grow up.
It was.
When I first found out about Doc being a thief, I was embarrassed.
Off in an expensive school in Europe, rubbing elbows with the wealthiest kids in the world, whilst my father was robbing their parents.
Well, at least you knew they hung around in the same circles.
It really doesn't bother you, does it? That your father was a jewel thief, no.
Because you're not.
I could have been.
Doc was the best.
He taught me everything.
Now, I know there's a segue into insurance investigator in here somewhere.
That was Doc's idea.
He made me promise never to use what he had taught me to steal.
So he contacted the head of Wakeman, and made them an offer they couldn't refuse.
Precautionary investigator.
I've saved them a fortune in claim payments.
And at the same time, you get the thrill of the heist.
No.
No thrills.
There's something about knowing you have to give it all back that takes the danger away.
Well, somehow, I think you're dangerous enough on your own.
I'm just very good at what I do.
Got an intruder in area 7.
It works! Only if the intruder is a ghost.
The cameras aren't picking anyone up in Area 7.
That's impossible.
Well, the important thing is, we know someone's breaking in.
It doesn't do us a bloody bit of good if we don't know where they are.
You haven't opened the lock yet? I'm hooked.
Come on, just tear it off.
This is one of my best cashmere sweaters.
I'm not gonna tear it any more than it's already torn.
You wore a cashmere sweater to a break in? It was the only black sweater that I had.
The point is that all the sensors have been connected to the wrong computer inputs.
It's a minor miscalculation.
As Magnum says, the important thing is, is that the system works.
Except for the fact that we now have to figure out what's connected to what.
Guys, please! This was my favorite sweater.
Bootsie gave this to me on our anniversary.
I don't think three weeks constitutes an anniversary.
Hey, what do you know? I bet a woman never gave you an expensive gift in your life.
T.
C: Drop it, Orville.
Will you come on? Open it, will you? Open it! I'm gonna open your nose with those pliers, if you don't shut up.
You'd think Thomas would have left the lock off for us.
T.
C: Damn! What? He did.
Now, look what you did! You broke the little contact that hooks up to the thingy.
You're the one who opened the window! Good.
Now, you have 10 seconds to type in the code before the alarm goes off.
Code? You didn't program in a reset code? I'm doing it now.
It won't accept the code! Well, of course it won't accept the code, it's in alarm mode! That means the police are getting an alarm! I'll phone the police and let them know.
What now? The lines are dead! Thomas, you owe me a new sweater! What? You owe me 200 bucks for a new sweater! Can't you turn this thing off? No! Do something I thought things like that only happened in movies.
Only in Marx Brothers movies.
But when you're dealing with my crack security team, anything is likely to happen.
Oh, I wouldn't say that.
You're very good at what you do.
When you don't allow distractions to get in the way.
Distractions? Games, friends A beautiful woman on the beach? You know, it's my mistake, I I thought we were going riding to spend some time together.
I didn't realize this was a distraction maneuver.
Who's distracting who? As long as I'm here, your ring is safe.
So, we're just playing games? I never play games of the heart.
Just games of the head? Just the making of a wonderful fantasy.
Here we are on an empty beach in paradise.
Two strangers on horseback.
If this were the movie version, I'd break into a fast gallop through the surf.
Oh, yeah? And then what? You'd chase me, all in slow motion, of course.
Of course.
With incredibly romantic music.
Naturally.
And then, my horse throws me into the surf, and you leap off.
Leap? And we kiss.
Of course, we could just skip the preliminaries and get to what matters.
Where's the sunset when I need it? Hi, Rick.
Ah, good.
I was just calling you.
This here, is a repair bill for my sweater.
And you're lucky that the Tiny Tailor can repair it or you'd be buying me a new sweater.
Whatever you say.
What are you doing here? My adding machine broke.
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
You mean there's no argument, nothing? What's to argue? You helped me out, you damaged your sweater in the process.
The least I can do is pay to repair it.
Are you all right? I'm fine.
The computer is working again, the jewelry competition is going to be held at the estate, and Krista is having dinner with me tonight.
That's strange.
Miss Villoroch invited me to dine with her tonight.
What? Miss Villoroch invited me to dinner.
Why would she invite the both of you to dinner? Thomas, would you please explain to these officers what's going on? You mean going to jail isn't part of the game? Not unless you would derive some perverse pleasure from it.
It's okay, guys, really.
She's just here to check the security.
I thought you did that this morning? We were We were, but Miss Villoroch represents the insurance company, and she had to approve the system herself.
Funny way to test a system.
Not really.
I assure you, the next time you hear this alarm, it will be for a real emergency only.
Next time you wanna test your system, why don't you let us know in advance? Of course, and if there's anything we can do You can fill out this report.
I lose.
You got the ring.
I got caught.
What I want to know is what I missed.
Infra-red security system on the inside of the safe.
Impossible.
I have special lenses that would have caught that.
It's passive.
It's activated by the heat of your hand.
I'm proud of you, Krista.
You're the best daughter a father could have.
A toast.
To the two greatest jewel thieves of all time.
Us.
Beautiful, isn't it? Beautiful.
I meant the Karachi.
Well, I don't know.
It's a little much for my taste.
It's perfect.
Doc used to tell me bedtime stories about this stone, how it was taken in ransom for a Persian emperor by Alexander the Great.
Then stolen years later, during the Crusades, as a gift for the throne of England.
Only it never made it to the court of Richard the Lion-Hearted.
Legend says that a thousand men were executed trying to find its whereabouts.
Charming bedtime stories.
How did the present owner get his hands on it? No one knows for certain.
It was in Hitler's collection during the Second World War and ended up in South America.
Rumor has it that Lenor Vandercliff bought it from Martin Bormann in the late '50s.
The woman you shared your champagne with at the opening dinner? Right.
Well, maybe she won't win.
I don't hold grudges, Thomas.
There are better ways to expend one's time and energy.
What's this one? - This is out of the Bulgari Collection.
You can see the consistency of the style and the use of the multicolored This is damned awkward.
Miss Villoroch, I'm afraid Lenor Vandercliff has threatened to pull her entry from the competition if I do not ask you to leave the premises.
No, she's not leaving.
It's all right, I'll go.
No.
I consider it in very poor taste.
As far as I'm concerned, you're welcome to stay, regardless of the consequences.
No.
It's all right, really.
We wouldn't want the Karachi pulled from the competition.
This competition has been a great burden, and I won't rest until the final photographs are taken tomorrow and the jewels are returned to their owners.
Just one more night.
Again, Miss Villoroch, my humble apologies.
No need.
I'll see you to the door.
I think I'll go back in there and throw champagne in her face, and Higgins'.
No, it's just a waste of A waste of good champagne.
Or we could steal the Karachi.
If we're gonna steal the Karachi, why not take the entire collection? We could plan a strategy over dinner.
What strategy? You've already done it twice.
The third time would require something new.
I'll tell you all about it at dinner.
Thank you.
Shall we make it Ma Mer at 9:00? Ladies and gentlemen, honored guests, and participants in the 5th Annual Robin Masters' International Design Competition.
This afternoon, we are honored to have 10 of the world's top jewelry designers grace us with their magnificent creations.
Jewelry design is an art form as old as time itself.
Man has always adorned himself, in one form or another, with pieces of the beauty that surrounds him.
These talented men and women have combined the treasures of the earth and the sea with their own creative visions, and brought them here to share with us today.
Certainly, each of these superb designs deserves an award, but there is only one to win.
Thus, I offer my heartfelt appreciation, and hope for their continued success.
Now, I won't keep you in anguish any longer, because I know what you really want is to get this over with and get on with the banquet.
It gives me great pleasure to announce the winner of this year's competition.
For the fourth consecutive year, Lenor Vandercliff, for her masterpiece creation, the Karachi Necklace.
Thank you.
I am, quite literally, speechless.
Winning the Robin Masters' Competition is by far the most gratifying reward I couldn't help but wonder if Lenor Vandercliff would keep designing jewelry if there were no competition to enter, no games to keep her going.
And then I thought about Krista.
She was asking me to trust that she would walk away from $170 million, that she would intentionally throw the game.
And I suddenly realized, I really wanted to believe that.
We already know we can do it, Doc.
It doesn't mean we have to.
Krista, are you falling in love with a man you only met two days ago? Of course not.
And don't change the subject.
The subject is $170 million worth of jewelry.
It's the theft of a lifetime.
You just can't ask me to throw it away.
It's too dangerous.
There's no thrill if there's no danger.
I don't want you to spend the rest of your life in prison.
There are not that many more years left.
I know.
That's why I don't want to waste them.
You don't want to waste them? Yes, like all the years you spent tripping around the world, whilst I was in one boarding school or another.
All the Christmases alone because that was your best season.
God, Doc, why do you think I asked you to teach me everything? I just wanted some way we could be together.
Krista, I love you, but you can't ask me to turn my back on the most famous jewelry theft in all of history.
I've breached that estate twice in the past two days.
We've already proved we can do it.
It's not the same thing.
What you did was an exercise.
There's a difference when it's real.
There's that moment in the heart of a theft when your blood turns to ice and the sweat blinds you, and if you can't shut off the fear, you just might miss that one something that'll get you caught.
Where the hell is the thrill? Just on the other side.
The most incredible high in the world.
Share it with me, Krista.
It's like nothing you'll ever experience.
Nothing! I decided to believe in my emotions and show up.
Maybe this was one game that could end in a draw.
You're not changing anything, are you? No, not tonight.
If something's not right, it stays as is.
I appreciate your vigilance regarding this whole sordid incident.
I need all the help I can get.
I've even decided to place the lads inside the den as a precautionary measure.
Dogs on duty, huh, guys? Yes.
So, I want to bypass the carpet sensors in there.
Bypass? The sensors don't show anything.
It's probably those hang-glider people celebrating the coming of the Kona winds.
Would you care to order, Magnum? It doesn't look like your friend's gonna show up.
Oh, I'll wait a little longer.
Thanks.
I will have another beer though, Larry.
You were wonderful, Krista, wonderful! I wish I could have The drawers are all empty! What the hell? Excuse me, Magnum, but a lady asked me to give this to you.
She said to say thanks.
She owes you one.
Yeah.
I'll tell you what, Larry, I'll have an 18-ounce New York charred rare with some baked potato skins and some extra parsley.
And I think I'll have a scotch this time.