All Hail King Julien (2014) s05e13 Episode Script

1 - [MORT GIGGLES.]
- [SHARK ROARS.]
- [MORT.]
I'm okay! - [LAUGHING.]
[UPBEAT DANCE MUSIC.]
[MODULATED VOCALIZING.]
Party! - Who's the king? - King Julien - Who's the king? - King Julien Get down for the get down Everybody party with king who? - King Julien - King who? King Julien Tonight will be forever Let's do it King Julien style [SLO-MO TECHNO MUSIC.]
Whoa-oh, whoa-oh Y'all tell me who's the king Whoa-oh, whoa-oh All hail King Julien! - Oof! - [LAUGHS.]
Ta-da! [CHEERING.]
[LAUGHS.]
In honor of your marriage to Clover, we're gonna give you the best bachelor party ever! What, what? What? What? DJ Glitterbunz, drop me some nasty bachelor party beats! DJ Glitterbunz gonna get freaky, y'all! B-b-b-bachelor party style! - [EXCLAIMS, LAUGHS.]
- [PARTY HORN BLOWS.]
- You got it! [LAUGHS.]
- [GRUNTS.]
Oh, golly! [YELLS.]
I-I get him? What'd I win, y'all? [LAUGHING.]
[ALL.]
Puke, puke, puke, puke, puke! [MORT VOMITING.]
[LAUGHS.]
Sage! What's up, buddy? Is it Pancho? I know, he's got that weird way of coming out of nowhere, right? I do not! Oh.
In my kingdom, the night before the union of two souls is spent in reflection.
It is a time of rebirth.
No prob.
Who you wanna birth? Uh, Mort is pretty small.
No, the Mountain Lemur ritual is very specific.
A funeral? That's your marriage ritual? Ritual sacrifice.
Now we're talkin'.
The funeral is symbolic.
A casting off of my old self.
Dirt will cover me as grubs seek the heat of my buried body! Hold on.
You want us to bury you? He wanted us to bury him.
Should we mark where we buried him with a headstone or something? I got a whole bunch ready to go in my stump.
Hmm.
Maybe we should use something heavier.
I mean, we are in a jungle, and leaves blow away, Your I know how leaves work, Maurice.
Yeah, Maurice! [SHUSHING.]
No more speaky time.
If we hurry, we can still hit the clubs so this bachelor party isn't a total loss.
Hope the girls are having a better time than us.
Mm! [LAUGHS.]
Another broadsword! Oh, you guys, you really You shouldn't have.
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY.]
That one's from me.
It's used.
[FARTS.]
Not sorry.
Thank you, everyone.
That was You got no idea how much I appreciate your friendship.
- [LAUGHS.]
- [ALL GASP.]
This experience is just it's all, uh It's it's so new, you know.
I'm getting married.
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY.]
Me! [LAUGHING AND CRYING.]
Clover, warrior lem [YELLS.]
[YELLS FIERCELY.]
Look how happy I am! [SCREAMS.]
Don't look at me! Don't look at me! Um, okay, so perhaps someone should go after her? [CLOVER SCREAMS.]
[XIXI.]
Oof.
Knock, knock.
Xixi, I'd really like to be alone.
Look, I know why you're upset.
You do? Oof! You're worried Sage is going to leave you at the altar.
Trust me, been there.
Spring break! [YELLS.]
And those are just the ones that I can remember.
[LAUGHS.]
I'm not worried about Sage leaving me at the altar.
I mean, you know, I'm gonna be a queen! Aah! I'll have my own army to command.
I mean, that's really That is what is, um That's important.
That's [CRYING.]
Yet all I can think about is how much I love him! What's wrong with that? It's so girly! I hate girly! I am not girly! S-so why am I feeling so girly? No, loving someone else makes you real, not just some two-dimensional tough girl lemur stereotype.
That's pretty profound for a, uh Former club kid with no self-esteem and a desperate need to be adored? I have my moments.
Feel better? - [KNOCK AT DOOR.]
- Huh? Yeah, yeah, I do.
Thanks, Xixi.
[SIGHS.]
I just I want this day to be special, you know? Just me and Sage.
No surprises.
Hello, sister girl.
[SCREAMS.]
Mmm, these are so good.
Sage, you up yet? Ted made scones! Mmm! Guys where did we bury him? I told you we should've used something heavier.
Now Sage is buried alive with no air or food.
This is no time for truth and specifics.
Find him! [ALL.]
Sage! Sage! Sage! Operation Find the Buried Idiot is a bust, Your Majesty.
Greatest bachelor party ever, y'all.
What are we gonna tell Clover? No one is telling anyone anything! Capisce? I ain't going to the big house over this.
I've already done my time! Whoa! Unfortunately, that misshapen hangnail is right.
We can't tell Clover.
Ensign Ignorant here, Your Majesty.
If we don't tell Clover, what happens when Sage doesn't show up? Oh, Sage is going to show up.
Pancho, Butterfish, keep searching.
Ted, find Clover and keep her distracted until the ceremony so she doesn't get suspicious.
Maurice, Mort, you're with me.
I've got a plan.
You want us to build a new version of Sage from scratch in a few hours? [SNORTS.]
That is beyond Sure, sounds like fun.
[GIGGLES.]
[UPBEAT MUSIC.]
[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING.]
Nurse Phantom, the sheet! [LIGHTNING CRACKING.]
I think it came out pretty nifty.
- Hmm.
- [GROANS.]
There is no way Clover's gonna be fooled by that.
Little harsh, Maurice.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Not when the eyes are made out of What are his eyes made out of, anyway? Uh, the left one is a marble I just happened to have lying around and not because I still play with marbles.
And the right eye is something I coughed up a few years ago.
I think it belonged to a friend.
[LAUGHS.]
Your Majesty, this is not going to work.
Maurice, you need to speak louder when I'm not listening to you.
In case we don't find Sage, will this Frankensage ever be able to say wedding vows? Nothing elaborate A simple grunt will work.
I rigged a voice modulation unit in its throat.
If you would do the honors, Your Majesty, I can calibrate it right now.
Uh, yeah, I'm Sage Moondancer.
Uh, chakra, chakra, chakra.
Uh, the caterpillar eats the chocolate of mercy - Eats the chocolate of mercy - So the butterfly knows Where its pony is.
So the butterfly knows where its pony is.
- Namaste.
- Namaste.
- Namaste.
- Namaste.
Namaste.
I'm sold! Hmm.
You know, we do have some leftover parts if Clover and Frankensage ever decide to have a child.
I've always wanted to make my own baby.
[LAUGHS.]
Nobody's making any babies! King Julien, we need to forget this crazy idea and tell Clover the truth.
Maurice is right.
Thank you.
Not about telling Clover the truth.
That would just be stupid.
But I do think we need a real test before Frankensage meets Clover.
- [BABBLING.]
- [MAN-HAWK SCREECHES.]
[BABBLING.]
Uh, hey there Man-Hawk.
Eat any good worms today? [SHRIEKS.]
Namaste.
[CLANGING.]
Okay.
Looks like we have some work to do.
Ugh, I don't have time for this, Crimson.
Look, I'm sorry if Sage chose me over you, but, well, that's just what happened.
Ha! Don't flatter yourself, Clo-Clo.
If I still wanted Sage, he'd be mine in a heartbeat.
Ha! Sorry, no.
Ha! Sorry, yes.
- No! - Yes.
Aah! I can't believe I'm having this conversation! I am getting married in a few hours.
I'm anxious, I feel bloated, and I haven't even tried on my dress.
Oh, boy.
Oh, hi, Clover.
Hi, Crimson.
Ted, why are you wearing my wedding dress? - I don't understand the question.
- Take it off! Now! Oh, no problem! King Julien told me to come by and, you know, check on you.
But I suppose that I could just - Out! - No! Oh, golly! - You should join him, Crimson.
- Yeah, uh, love to.
Unfortunately, I can't.
[GROANS.]
Yeah? And why's that? - 'Cause I won't let her, baby brawler.
- [CLOVER.]
Grandma Rose.
[LAUGHS.]
Wait, what are you doing here? My only granddaughter's getting married.
- Uh, hello? - Just havin' a laugh, Crimson.
[LAUGHS.]
Listen here, girls.
You two are the only family I've got left still breathing.
- Regardless of your differences.
- Differences? Besides being sisters, differences are about the only thing that we have in common.
Crimson has never had to work for a thing in her life, whereas I have had to work for everything.
When I studied, she played.
While I trained, she picked boyfriends like flowers! And the moment I met someone I cared about [CRIMSON.]
I tried to take him from you.
That's Yeah, you did.
You're right, Clo-Clo, about all of it.
I've never worked as hard as you.
Never had your ambition.
Maybe it's because I was the beautiful one.
We're identical twins.
Or maybe it's because I was jealous of you.
You? Jealous of me? [LAUGHS.]
Please.
Oh, it's not so crazy, Clo-Clo.
Sure, as the pretty one, I was Mom and Dad's favorite.
Again, identical twins.
But you were the one they were always proud of.
So I did the only thing I could.
I became a fabulous train wreck.
No, you're not a Okay, yeah, yeah, you're a train wreck.
[SIGHS.]
And trying to marry Sage, that was what was? My way of proving I could finally beat you at something.
But, like always, you beat me in the end.
Congratulations, sister girl.
I'm I'm glad you won.
Are we done? Fantastic.
[CLOVER.]
Crimson! [STAMMERS.]
Before you go, uh, just one last question.
Would you like to walk me down the aisle? [XIXI.]
Xixi here, reporting from the royal wedding of King Sage and our own Clover.
I haven't seen a lot of these faces in multiple seasons.
Oh, it's Dingbert and Ringo, the snails.
Oh, guys, um, who are you wearing? [RINGO.]
That wasn't funny.
There could be French people here.
Oh, isn't it all so lovely? Ugh, ermagurd, Dad, how could you say that? This should be my wedding.
I hate you! [YELLS.]
Oh, where is Butterfish? Don't worry, Mommy, I'll be with you.
Oh, you bet you will, Todd.
Mommy's baby can never leave.
Never, ever.
[WHIMPERING.]
What is going on, Timo? We're running out of time.
I'm sure Doctor S is just putting the finishing touches on Frankensage as we speak.
Nurse Phantom, get the saw! [SAW WHIRRING.]
Butterfish, Pancho, you're back.
Please tell me you found Sage.
Uh, yeah, how best to put this? Nope.
Hey, is that them crab cakes on the buffet table over there? Nothing? Did you dig enough holes? Oh, yeah! I dug a bunch of holes.
Unfortunately, I was working with someone whose work ethic was a disgrace! It's hard to believe our son, married.
And to that mongrel-blooded Clover of all people.
Oh, Barty, she's marrying some recently kinged unwashed barbarian named Sage.
Then why are we here? Well, I assume an appearance fee.
[LAUGHS.]
Good fun! So after this, we go to your castle, my little love ham? I don't really have a castle, but I'm working on it, my beautiful behemoth.
Until castle built, you can make home in Zora armpit pouch.
I just disinfect.
You read my mind.
[MOM-BOT.]
Timo, did you bring my inflatable doughnut? - You know how my sciatica acts up.
- [TIMO GROANS.]
Ted, we may need to stall Clover for a little wha! Oof! Clover, you're, uh Wow.
You look amazing.
Oh.
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY.]
Thank you.
Actually, I hate it, but [CRIMSON.]
I convinced her to play along.
Ah, Crimson! Clover, get behind me.
Actually, you're still Captain of the Ringtail Guard for a few more hours.
Take her out! If you two need to delay, uh, the wedding for some death match sort of thing over who gets Sage, I can still get my deposit back from the caterer, you know.
- No need, Your Majesty.
- Huh? Crimson is actually gonna walk me down the aisle.
Were you looking for Ted? Ted? No.
Who's Ted? Okay, well, then I'm gonna go back and finish gettin' ready.
You two play nice.
Aah! I never wanted to hurt you, Shmoopey Bear.
[PURRS.]
- S-s-stop that.
- Oh, stop what? - I know you feel it.
- Hmm? - [PURRS.]
- I-I do feel something.
- [GIGGLES.]
- [BELCHES.]
Yeah, it was just gas.
- See ya, Crimson.
- Hmph! I'll get him eventually.
[GUITARS STRUMMING.]
Oh, this is so exciting! Do you know this is the first time I've ever been hired to officiate a wedding? - What are you talking about? - Ow! I'm officiating.
That's my thing.
It is? Well, then why would Oh, darn that banana! Banana, where are you? [MURMURING.]
- Huh? - [PARTY HORN BLOWS.]
Your Majesty, we can't wait any longer.
We only rented out the clearing until three.
It's okay.
We still got time.
Clover won't walk down that aisle until she hears music, and I specifically told the rats - [BRIDAL MUSIC PLAYS.]
- not to begin playing until I told them to! No, no, no! King Joey, I specifically told you not to start until I told you to! You did? Oh, gee, I'm sorry, King Julien.
[RATS.]
Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Mm-hmm.
Ah, ah, oh, no! No, no, no! Clover, what are you doing? You shouldn't be on your feet.
Not in your condition.
Uh, what what condition exactly? Why don't we get you back to your hut, huh? I'm sure there's some more, uh, fabric we can stitch onto your dress, hmm? My dress is fine.
And where's Sage? I haven't seen him since you lot left for his bachelor party yesterday.
[STAMMERING.]
[GRUNTING.]
I gotta go! [LAUGHS NERVOUSLY.]
- Is he here? - Almost.
Doctor S is just making some last-minute adjustments.
- Whew! - You need to go out there and stall, King Julien.
Or you could just tell Clover the truth.
Oh, Maurice, you are so naïve! No woman wants to hear the truth on her wedding day.
[MASIKURA.]
Lemurs and guests - we are gathered here today - Whoa, lizard lady, what's the hurry? Mm.
I just thought Well, that's your problem right there.
[LAUGHS.]
Ba-dum-bum.
Where's a rimshot when you need one? Am I right, people? [LAUGHS.]
[PRINCESS JULIENNE COUGHS.]
Seriously though, before the groom, Sage, comes bounding up here full of life, I just wanted to say a few words.
Follow spot, please? [CLOVER.]
It's the middle of the day, Your Majesty.
I knew that.
Anyhoo, I look out in this audience today, and you know what I see? [GRUNTING.]
I see a lot of memories.
Some good, some bad.
What the heck, man? Not gonna lie, when I first became king, I had my doubts I could pull it off.
You are not the only one.
Over time, I realized that as long as I had my peoples, I could never fail.
We did this together, you guys.
I truly believe that someday, we are going to look back on this as the greatest time of our lives.
Which brings me to to you, Clover.
Today I have to say good-bye to you, and I'll be honest, that makes me really sad, man.
I mean, despite your rage issues and your constant need for praise.
Well, that's not I mean, I'm I don't need praise.
You were always there to pick up the pieces when Maurice screwed up.
I don't have a lot of friends that I can trust.
I'm a pretty private guy right here.
But you made it into the inner circle, Clover.
[SNORING.]
If I could have had a really just violent sister, I would have wanted you.
- Aw.
- When you came into my life is when I finally started down the path to becoming the lemur I am today.
I love you, Clover.
Thank you for letting me have the honor of being your king and friend.
[SNIFFLES.]
Oh! Oh, Your Majesty, that's [CRYING.]
[SOBBING.]
Oh! [SCOFFS.]
[GRUNTS.]
[GIGGLING.]
[SOBS, BLOWS NOSE.]
- [WILLIE.]
Oh, my! - [FEEDBACK WHINING.]
- [WILLIE.]
Owie! - [GASPS.]
But enough of these buzzkill emotions, because the groom has arrived! Rats, music! [OFF-KEY BRIDAL MUSIC PLAYING.]
[EXCLAIMS.]
Hmm Clover Clover, you are You look so pretty.
- Um - Clover - is he all right? - Sure.
Probably just a little tired.
We got pretty crazy last night.
But I wouldn't worry.
You know Sage.
If anyone can rally I think [ALL SCREAMING.]
[CROWD MURMURING.]
[CLOVER.]
Uh This is not what it looks like.
Isn't what it looks like? My future husband just exploded! Sage! Oh, Sage, what happened? Why does he have wheels on his feet? Yeah, weird, huh? Guess you never really know someone until they explode.
Ow! What did you do? - Clover, I was hoping Huh? - [MAURICE CLEARS THROAT.]
- [GASPS.]
- We lost him.
[ALL GASP.]
Really? I'm so sorry, Clover.
He told us we had to bury him.
What? It was some weird Mountain Lemur ritual.
Maurice forgot Oy vey.
No, I forgot where we buried him.
We were hoping we could build you a new Sage and you wouldn't notice.
Wouldn't notice? He's a smoldering pile of ash! Yes, that's my bad.
I replaced some of his internal organs with dynamite.
Why would you do that? [SOBBING.]
Oh, Sage, what have they done to you? [SOBBING.]
Oh, now we have a spot! [MALE LEMUR CRYING LOUDLY.]
Wait, I know that crying.
Sage! [LAUGHS.]
Jarsh-Jarsh.
You're alive? Why didn't you tell us? And why are you crying? The ceremony it was so beautiful.
I only hope my marriage will be as beautiful as this one.
What do you mean, "my marriage"? This is your marriage.
[SOBBING.]
Oh.
Cool.
I thought I'd lost you.
Sorry.
I got bored of being reborn, so I dug myself out of my grave.
I was gonna come find you guys, but then I had to pick up Jarsh-Jarsh 'cause he still hasn't learned to drive his own hawk.
Enough! I'm just glad you're okay.
[MASIKURA.]
I now pronounce you King and Queen of the Mountain Lemurs.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
[SNORING.]
Aw, man! You may keep doing what you're doing.
Clover and Sage are hitched, you sni-sni-snitches.
Let's make some n-n-n-n-n-n-noise! [PARTY HORN BLOWS.]
[CHEERING.]
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING.]
[ANDY.]
Get as much as you can.
We can make a fortune selling this stuff to the foosa.
[TED.]
Has anyone seen Dorothy? Dorothy? Who's Dorothy? Uh, hello, my wife.
You don't have a wife, Ted.
You've been Madagascar's most eligible bachelor for years.
What? Do you mean to tell me Dorothy was a figment of my imagination? Like Snake? Does this mean I'm not really married? [LAUGHTER.]
Oh, Ted, don't pay any attention to them.
Of course I'm real.
You are? Oh, well, okay, then.
[CLOVER GRUNTS.]
[CHEERING.]
[MAN-HAWK SHRIEKS.]
[GENTLE MUSIC.]
Well, I hope it lasts longer than my 12 marriages.
Course, most of my wives died of old age.
- [SCREAMS.]
- [MAURICE SIGHS.]
Gonna be strange not having the whole gang together anymore.
Yeah.
But you know what I love about our lives, Mo-Mo? Something big, and I'm talking huge, could be just right around the corner.
[PINEAPPLE.]
King Julien was right, kids.
Something big was just around the corner.
But that's an adventure for another day.
[WAVES CRASHING.]
Oof! Bleh! Huh? Where are we? [UPBEAT MUSIC.]
I like to move it, move it I like to move it, move it I like to move it, move it You like to Move it! I like to move it, move it I like to move it, move it I like to move it, move it You like to Move it!