Buffy the Vampire Slayer s05e13 Episode Script

- Previously on "Buffy the Vampire Slayer": - We had to hide the Key.
Made it human and sent it to you.
Dawn? Did you know your sister took my Key? And she won't give it back.
- I betyou know where she put it.
- She doesn't know.
OK, let's see who you are.
The Knights of Byzantium, an ancient order.
And now your enemy.
So long as you protect the Key, the brotherhood will never stop until we destroy it and you.
Look atyou.
All afraid I'm hot for your honey.
- Because you are.
- Well yeah.
- Tell me what kind of demon I'm fighting.
- Glory isn't a demon.
- What is she? - She's a god.
Mom wants to make with the merry tomorrow night, but with everything that's going on This is exactly whatyou need: a 20th-birthday party with presents, and funny hats, and those candles that don't blow out.
- Those used to scare me.
- Me too.
I don't thinkthis is the best time for the party piñata.
We need to stay focused to stop Glory.
We're goin' up against a god, an actual mightier-than-thou god.
- Well, the bigger they are - The faster they stomp you into nothing.
She's right.
I've thrown everything I've got at her.
She just shrugs it off.
- Then find something heavier to throw.
- That might pose some difficulty.
From what the Council's discovered from the Book of Tarnis and other sources, Glory and two fellow Hell gods ruled over one of the more seriously unpleasant demon dimensions.
- There's more than one? - There are thousands.
All different.
All pushing at our reality, trying to find a way in.
I guess Glory found one.
The question is, why? There's nothing to indicate that here.
Just vague references to chaos and destruction.
OK, so we know where Glory's from.
What do we know about her? She's tough, but no bolts of lightning, no blasts of fire.
- Shouldn't a god be able to do that? - Usually, yes.
But being in human form must be severely limiting her powers.
No, all we have to worry about right now is she's immortal, invulnerable and insane.
A crazy Hell god? And the fun just keeps on leavin'.
From what I can gather, her living in this world is seriously affecting her mental state.
She's only been able to keep her mind intact by extracting energy from us.
Well, from the human brain.
She's a brain-sucker? She "absorbs the energies that bind the human mind into a cohesive whole.
" - Once drained, all that's left is - Crazy people.
Which is why there's been an increase in the ranks of the mentally unstable in Sunnydale.
At least vampires just kill you.
We have to find a way to stop her.
Well, Tara and I can work on some tactical spells.
I can do some research.
I know way more about demon dimensions than Giles does.
Well, I do.
This is great long-term-planny stuff, but what about this Key thingy Glory's lookin' for? Yeah.
Shouldn't we try to find it before she does? I don't think we should worry about that.
They've got a point.
Whatever Glory's planning on opening with the Key, I'm guessing it won't be filled with candy and flowers.
So where should we look? Do we know where it used to be kept? Who saw it last? We did.
Giles and me.
We know where it is.
- You what? - You know, and you didn't tell us? There were reasons.
Look, if Glory knewthat you guys knew where it was I didn't wanna putyou in that kind of danger.
As opposed to the other kind we're always in? - You should've said something.
- Will, there You're right.
- It's time.
- Are you sure? They'll be risking their lives.
They deserve to know.
Know what? There's something thatyou need to know about Dawn.
The link must be severed.
Such is the will of God.
The Key is the link.
The link must be severed.
Such is the will of God.
The Key is the link.
The link must be severed.
Such is the will of God.
You really think He is going to help you? I fear your faith is gravely misplaced.
Shall we testyour faith now? Never send a minion to do a god's work.
Hey, nice sword.
Bet it hurts.
- You guys doin' a spell? - Dawn, hey.
Yeah, we're doing an early-warning incantation.
If anything Hell-godishly powerful comes within 100ft of the shop, then screechy siren things will, you know, screech.
This should give us a heads-up so we can hide the Key.
We already put one up around your house.
Cool.
Can I help? I don't think Buffy would like the black arts bumpin' auras with the littlest Summers.
Yeah.
Whatever.
How can she not be real? She's real.
She's just kinda new.
Hey.
We on the case? Yeah.
Right on top, perched, ready for action.
How's my sweet fancy Dawn doin'? Fine.
What's up with you? Did you get into the sugar again? You make a very pretty little girl.
- Anya, you wanna help me with that thing? - Xander needs help with his thing! I'm not sure our regular workout is challenging you any more.
- Perhaps we should make it harder.
- You always think harder is better.
Maybe next time I patrol I should carry a load of bricks and use a stake made of butter.
Very amusing.
I'm sure Dawn feels that way about her schoolwork sometimes.
That true? How was school today? The usual: big square building filled with boredom and despair.
Just how I remember it.
So, what's the homework sitch? We imagine what we'll be like in ten years and write a letter to our future self.
The teacher's so out of ideas.
Wanna help? Maybe later.
I have some stuff I have to do first.
- About the weird girl that came to the house? - Glory.
And no, it's not.
Like you'd tell me anyway.
Dawn's too young and too delicate.
Right.
A young, delicate pain in my butt.
I think you're freakin' out cos you have to fight someone prettier.
That's the case, right? Glory is evil and powerful.
And in no way prettier than me.
I think you're getting soft in your advanced age.
She didn't lookthat tough to me.
OK.
One more time.
Just between me and you, our itsy-bitsy little secret.
Where is the Key? Even if I knew, I'd die a thousand deaths before I'd tell you.
Well, you won't need a thousand, sweetie.
I'll make the first one last.
Long time.
What is it with you religious types? It's intimacy, isn't it? You're just scared of letting someone in! It's OK.
I know how difficult the first time can be.
You don't have to be afraid.
Just relax.
You may not have the info I want butyou still got somethin' I need.
- Prezzies! - See? Just whatyou needed.
You are very, very wise.
Now gimme, gimme, gimme.
This is extremely suspenseful.
I want the presents.
It's beautiful.
Thank you, guys.
We thoughtyou'd get crossbows and killy stuff.
So we figured, less killy, more frilly.
It's just so lovely! Oh, I wish it was mine! Like you weren't all thinking the same thing.
I'm fairly certain I wasn't.
I've got one just like it.
Here.
Open mine.
It's not gonna explode, is it? It's when we visited Dad that summer in San Diego.
I put the shells on it myself.
We picked them off the beach.
I remember.
Well, jeez, don't get all movie-of-the-week.
I was just too cheap to buy you a real present.
Thank you.
It still seems there's a lotyou don't know about this.
I mean, is she dangerous? No.
I assume you're talking about her existence rather than her intentions? Exactly.
Dawn? What are you doing in there? Party getting slow? We need plates.
It's cake time.
Why does everybody act all weird when I'm around? Me? Me not weird.
I'm not an idiot.
I know you're talking about me.
- No.
No, we really weren't.
- We were talking about sex.
They were talking about me, like everybody.
Again, not so much.
In fact, none.
We were talking about sex.
You know us - sometimes we like to pretend stuff.
- Anya - Like, there's a fireman, or a shepherd You know what? Let's not have this exchange of images now.
Oh, right.
Of course.
Can't let Dawn hear anything.
Fine.
I'm just gonna go to bed.
That way, I won't accidentally get exposed to words.
Cake? - Jeez! Lurk much? - I wasn't lurkin'.
I was standin' about.
It's a whole different vibe.
What is Are you giving Buffy a birthday present? Oh, my God.
Weird.
And chocolates? Lame.
And the box is all bent.
And, well, you know she'd never touch anything from you anyway.
Shouldn'tyou be tucked away in your beddy-bye? All warm and safe where nothing can eatyou? Is that supposed to scare me? - Little tremble wouldn't hurt.
- Sorry, it's just Come on, I'm badder than you.
- Are not! - Am too.
You're in the bushes hugging a bent box of chocolates, and I'm What? Sneaking out to braid hair and watch Teletubbies with your mates? No.
I'm breaking into the magic shop.
To steal things.
Magic shop, eh? All number of beasties between here and there.
Bet they'd really go for a Little Red Riding Hood like you.
That wouldn't sit too well with big sister.
I can take care of myself.
- You wanna come steal some stuff? - Yeah, all right.
- Do you know howto do that or not? - Give us a sec.
I usually just burst through doors.
That's right! Who's bad now? Girl with a mission, eh? What's the caper? Jewels? Ancient artefacts? Or just plain hard cash liberated from the till? A book.
All this for a book? I don't want the book, just what's inside.
I think it was Giles's notes.
He was standing here, and when I turned around it was gone.
Where did he learn to write so bloody small? From a fruit fly? Wait.
Here's something.
"Tarnis, 12th century.
" "One of the founders of the Monks of the Order of Dagon.
" "Their sole purpose appears to have been as protectors of the Key.
" Brown-robe types always protect something.
It's the only way they can justify giving up girls.
Troll hammer.
Didn't go with my stuff anyway.
"The Key is not directly described in any literature, but all research indicates an energy matrix vibrating at a dimensional frequency beyond human perception.
" "Only those outside reality can see the Key's true nature.
" "Outside reality.
" What's that mean? Second-sight blokes, mostly.
Or even justyour run-of-the-mill lunatics.
You don't belong here.
- There! There's no one in there.
- I know whatyou are.
What else does it say about this Key? Is it made out of gold? Maybe we can hock it, split the take.
"The Key is also susceptible to necromanced animal detection, particularly those of canine or serpent construct.
" "The monks possessed the ability to transform energy, bend reality.
" Blah, blah, blah.
Good Lord, Giles writes as dull as he talks, doesn't he? "They started work, but the Council has suggested to us that they were interrupted.
" "Presumably by Glory.
" "They obviously did manage to accomplish the taste" "accomplish the task.
" "They had to be certain the Slayer would protect it with her life, so they sent the Key to her in human form.
" "In the form of a sister.
" I guess that's you, niblet.
- Not even a card, huh? - I wasn't really expecting one.
No contact with civilians.
There's probably a code name for it.
You know, like "radio silence".
It's "greeting-card silence".
- Sorry.
- Maybe it's time to start a newtradition: birthdays without boyfriends.
It could be just as much fun.
- Preachin' to the choir here, baby.
- Yeah.
Some of my best Oh, my God.
Is this blood? - Dawn! - Oh, baby.
- What did you do? - This is blood, isn't it? It can't be me.
I'm not a key.
- I'm not a thing.
- Oh, sweetie, no.
What is this all about? What am I? Am I real? Am I anything? - If you need anything - Thanks.
Perhaps I should stay.
You know, just in case.
This is a family thing.
We should deal with this.
OK.
Why didn'tyou tell me? We were going to.
I just We thought it would be better if we waited until you were older.
- How old am I now? - You're 14, sweetheart.
You knowthat.
No.
The monks, when did When did Six months ago.
I've only been alive for six months, huh? You've been alive a lot longer than that to us.
You don't knowthat.
You don't know anything.
I'm just a key, right? Everything about me is made up.
Dawn Mom and I know what we feel.
I know I care aboutyou.
I knowthat I worry aboutyou.
You worry about me because you have to.
I'm your job.
Protect the Key, right? I worry because my sister is cutting herself! Yeah? How do you know? Maybe this is just another fake memory from my fake family.
Sweetheart.
- Get out.
- Dawn.
Get out, get out, get out! We need answers, Giles.
We need to find out everything we can about the Key.
- What's it for, who created it - And why Glory has a girl-god jones for it.
This isn't about her.
It's about Dawn.
She deserves to know where she came from.
She needs to know, or it will eat away at her.
How did she find these? How did she get in here in the Who's been using the Urn of Ishtar as an ashtray? Morning, sunshine.
If you've come round for eggs and sausage, I'm fresh out.
Hey, careful! These are wet.
How could you let her find out like that? From books and papers? You hate me that much? I was just along for the ride.
Not like I knew she was mystical glowy Key thing.
Nobody keeps me in the bloody loop, do they? - You could have stopped her.
- Oh, yeah, here it comes.
Something goes wrong in your life, blame Spike.
News flash, blondie.
If kid sis wants to grab a midnight stroll, she'll find a way sooner or later.
I just thought she'd be safer with Big Bad lookin' over her shoulder.
She shouldn't have found out like that.
You didn't think you could keep the truth from her for ever? Maybe if you had been more honest with her, you wouldn't be trying to make yourself feel better with a round of Kick The Spike.
Honey? You're gonna be late for school.
I'm not going.
Blobs of energy don't need an education.
You want me to make some soup? I thinkthere's some chicken and stars.
I'm not sick! - I'm not anything.
- Honey, calm down, OK? Don't tell me what to do.
You're not my mother.
I changed my mind.
I'd rather be at school.
All right, fellas.
Today we've got blues, greens and Oh, hey, chartreuse.
It's a party.
It won't stick.
The birds have been pecking too hard.
- Byzantium.
- Yes, they've arrived.
Unfortunate, but not completely unexpected.
- How many? - Their numbers are fewfor the moment.
But they'll grow.
The Knights of Byzantium are like ants: firstyou see one, then two then the picnic's ruined.
No matter how many we kill, they'll keep coming.
Wave after wave.
It's time to set old animosities aside.
Your fate is directly linked to Her Magnificently-Scented Glorificus.
She's been extremely forgiving of your considerable foibles up until now, but if you persist in your defiance, she'll be forced to To what? What is she going to do? Send a six-pack of minions to bore me to death? Glory can't lay a finger on me.
You know it, I know it, she knows it.
So save the threats, or I'll finish the job I started on your head.
We can't just let her sit up there all alone.
She needs time.
We can't force her to be all right with this.
That's your answer? Just leave her alone and hope that everything works itself out? No.
But if I were her, I'd want a little bit of time right now.
I wouldn't want my mother and my sister coming at me from all sides.
Her school called today.
She was suspended.
She yelled at a teacher.
The things she said, Buffy.
She's never used language like that.
She probably feels like she can say or do anything right now.
She's not real.
We're not her family.
We don't even know what she is.
- How can you talk as if she's a thing? - I'm not! I'm just saying that's probably how she feels.
Then we have to show her that it isn't true.
She needs to know she's still a part of this family.
It's not that simple! We're not gonna be able to fix this with a hug and a kiss and a bowl of soup.
Dawn needs to know where she came from.
She needs real answers.
What she needs is her sister, Buffy, not the Slayer.
The Slayer is the only thing standing between Dawn and this god from the bitch dimension that wants to shove her in a lock and give her a good twirl! Mom, I need to be out there Oh, my God.
Glory.
It's Willow's spell.
Wait.
It's not Glory.
Damn it.
Dawn! - Buffy.
- No! She could've burned the house down! Buffy, she's gone.
She tore up her room.
She burned all of her diaries.
The Dawnmeister Chronicles? She's been keeping those since I mean Since she was seven.
I remember too, Will.
We have to find her.
Fast.
Before Glory or the Knights of Hack and Slash figure out what who she really is.
Mom will stay at home in case she shows up.
I figure we split up and sweep the city.
Anya, stay here in case she shows up.
Xander, Giles, take the centre of town.
Willow, Tara, west side.
Spike, you and I'll get the east side.
Just find her.
Please.
- Betyou can't push me all the way around! - Oh, yes, I can! No, you can't! There are so many things I remember.
Seeing Dawn.
Hangin' with her.
Listening to Buffy complain about her.
Mostly that last one.
- How could all that never really happen? - It takes some getting used to, the idea of a bright 14-year-old actually being living energy thousands of years old.
I'm guessing some kind of super-powerful in her rawform.
People have killed, died for it, summoned armies to control the Key.
You know, she kinda has a crush on me.
Your point being? Oh, nothing, no.
Just sayin'.
Powerful being, big-energy gal digging the Xan-man.
Some guys are just cooler, you know? Dawn! - Dawn! - That should do it.
- Shut up.
- She scampered off to get away from you.
She hears you bellowing, she'll pack it in the opposite direction.
Can't say I blame her.
You were right.
This is my fault.
I should've told her.
She probably would've skipped off anyway, even if she never found out.
She's not just a blob of energy.
She's also a 14-year-old hormone bomb.
Which one's screwing her up more right now, spin the bloody wheel.
You'll find her, just in the nick of time.
That's whatyou hero types do.
You'll find her.
And then what? It's here.
It's here.
It's here.
Can't stop.
It's here.
It's here.
It's here.
It's here.
Make it stop.
The skin's too tight.
Can't hear it.
What's the frequency? Empty.
All spilled out.
Please.
You see me, right? - Look at me.
- Can't stop! You know what I am, don'tyou? You all know.
- Can't hear it, can't hear it, can't hear it - Tell me! - Can't hear it, can't hear it, can't - What am I? The Key.
I found it.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank You know what the Key is? Where did I come from? Who made me? What am I? Thank you.
Thank you.
- Please! - Destroyer! Cracked earth and bones.
The sun bleeding into the sky! The Key is the link.
The link must be severed.
Such is the will of God.
Such is the will of God.
Such is the will of God.
Two cups of chocolate goodness, courtesy of whoever I swiped it from out of the cupboard.
Couldn't find marshmallows.
I'll try to steal some for next time.
- Don't like 'em anyway.
- What? Is that even possible? Too squishy.
When I was five, Buffy told me they were monkey brains and I Dawn, was your mom brought back in? Is that why you're here? No.
My mom's just fine.
- Is there anybody I can call? Your sister? - I don't have a sister.
You two have a fight? It's OK, I know howthat goes.
I got a sister, too.
They can be a real pain sometimes, huh? I tell you, there have been a lot of nights I wish she didn't exist either.
It's not Buffy.
It's me.
I'm the one that doesn't exist.
I know it feels that way sometimes, but when you're older No.
You don't understand.
- It's not real, none of this.
They made it.
- Dawn I'm nothing! I'm just a thing the monks made so Glory couldn't find me.
I'm not real.
- You're the Key? - How do you know about the Key? Go! Before she finds you.
Don't ask me how she knows, cos she always knows.
Just go.
- Calm down.
- You don't understand, you're a kid.
You stay, she'll find you.
She finds you, she'll hurtyou.
- What's wrong with you? - You're what she's been searching for.
Run.
You don't know.
You Oh, no.
Oh, God, no.
She's coming.
I can feel it.
You've gotta get out.
No Oh, no, she's here! She's here! Hey, don't I know you? Cotton! Could a fabric be more annoyingly pedestrian? Now, this is what I'm talkin' about.
Makes your skin sing.
You're You're Ben.
It's an eensy more complicated than that.
Family always is, isn't it? You'd never make it.
I'd rip out your spine before you got half a step.
And those little legs? They wouldn't be much good without one of those.
Would they, Dawnie? Now, what I'm trying to noodle, is what in the world was the Slayer's little sis doin' here with Gentle Ben? - You don't remember? - Remember what? You were talking to him, not me.
Oh, he wasn't being naughty, was he? Excuse me, ma'am.
This area's for hospital personnel.
Rude.
I was talking.
What do you say we find a nice place off the beaten where you and I can have a long uninterrupted chat? - We looked, but no Dawn.
- What about the carousel? - Checked there, too.
- Nothing? Sorry, Buff.
Anything could have happened to her.
Not just Glory.
I better checkthe hospital.
OK.
Small talk over.
I'm in a bit of a crunch, so let's cut right to the ooey-gooey centre.
Your sister, the Slayer, has my Key.
It's mine, I want it.
Do you know where she squirrelled it away? There's ice cream and puppy dogs in it for you if you start singin'.
I'm not sure.
What does it look like? Well, the last time I caught a peep it was a bright green swirly shimmer.
Really brought out the blue in my eyes.
But then those monks pulled an abracadabra, so it could be anything.
See my predicament? Maybe.
Yes? Well, maybe if you told me more about it I'd know if I've seen it.
OK.
- She wasn't brought in.
- Which is a happy thing, right? - I don't know, I - in the break room.
You guys gotta see him.
His head's almost twisted clean off.
Glory.
So this Key thing it's been around for a long time? Well, not as long as me, butyeah, just this side of for ever.
- Is it evil? - Totally.
Well, no, not really.
I guess it depends on your point of view.
What's it for? I mean if it's a key, there's gotta be a lock, right? Yes.
We have a winner.
So what does it open? I smell a fox in my hen house.
Is that why you were playing with Uncle Ben, to get a peek at Glory's unmentionables? No.
I I kinda wanna hear me talking right now.
Me talking.
You know what I'm starting to think? I'm thinking that maybe you don't have any idea where my Key is.
Very irritating, irrational.
You know what I mean, tiny snapdragon? Like Like bugs under my skin.
And say I'm feeling a little What's wrong with you? Hey, this doesn't have to be a complete waste of my precious time.
I've been meaning to send the Slayer a message.
And I could use a little pick-me-up.
Two birds, one stone, and boom! You have yummy dead birds.
Get away from my sister.
- Hey, we were just talking aboutyou! - Conversation's over, hell bitch.
I thoughtyou said this skank was tough.
If he wakes up, tell your boyfriend to watch his mouth.
He is not my boyfriend.
Hey, those are really nice shoes.
Giles, now! Oh, please.
Like that's gonna Watch the hair.
Time to start the dying.
Start with the whelp.
Dawn! - Buffy! - Get back! Nice catch.
Is that the best you crap-gnats can muster? Cos I gotta tell you, so not impressed.
Look whatyou did to my dress, you little Discede! Willow! Dawn.
- What did you do to her? - Teleportation spell.
- Still working out the kinks.
- Where'd you send her? Don't know.
That's one of the kinks.
Oh, sh That was an incredibly dangerous spell for an adept atyour level.
Yep.
Won't be trying that one again soon.
Are you OK? Did she hurtyou? Why do you care? Because I love you.
You're my sister.
No, I'm not.
Yes, you are.
Look, it's blood.
It's Summers blood.
It's just like mine.
It doesn't matter where you came from, or how you got here.
You are my sister.
There's no way you could annoy me so much if you weren't.
I was so scared.
Me too.
Come on.
Wait.
Ben.
He was here.
He was trying to help me.
He I I think he might have left before Glory came.
I can't remember.
It's OK.
Don't worry about it.
Next time we see him, we'll thank him.
I have to getyou back home, though.
Mom's freaking out.
Is she mad about the whole fire thing? I think you sorta have a "Get Out of Jail Free" card on account of big love and trauma.
Really? OK.
Good.
- You think she'd raise my allowance? - Don't push it.