DC's Legends Of Tomorrow (2016) s05e13 Episode Script

All right, Legends.
Let's get this show on the road.
Can't let this immortality buzz go to waste.
For your convenience, I started a countdown timer.
23 hours and 45 minutes to save my brother.
You're welcome.
All right.
You heard the lady.
Clock is ticking.
Yeah, let's get back to the ship and fire up the loom before it's too late.
Has anyone seen Gary because someone at your party has stolen my Shadow Stone.
So if you come across a disembodied voice floating around, crying out like a baby, then that's your culprit.
Yeah, Gary went back to the ship.
His bunny has IBS.
Yeah, and serious gas issues.
Ooh! Wow, that is some arctic breeze blowing in.
[Agent Sharpe.]
Why are we in England? [Constantine.]
Where the bloody hell is the portal? Has anyone seen Astra? How's your tummy, my bunny-wummy? [smooching.]
Gideon, can you do me a favor? Can you fabricate more veggies for Gary Junior Il? Gideon? You there? Huh.
[Gideon.]
Gary, the ship's compromised.
They're shutting me down.
[distorting.]
If Gideon is down, then - who's flying the ship? - [bunny squeaks.]
Oh, come on.
Are you lot off your trolleys? I mean, why would Astra steal the Waverider, eh? I know we're "friends" with her now, but maybe she wanted to use the Loom.
Or what if my sisters got to her? If they get control of the Loom before we do, we'll never get a chance to bring my brother back.
Okay.
Let's all just keep our cool.
Gideon, what's going on? Gideon? - Okay, no Gideon.
- Yeah, it's okay, it's okay.
We'll figure this out.
What just happened? Did you have another vision? Uh, no, it's, um it was nothing.
As in, you saw nothing or what? It was just a flash, and then it was nothing.
I think it's the Chalice.
It's probably messing with my powers.
So what? Now you're just blind? - Mick, that's insensitive.
- That's not helpful.
[gasps.]
Wait, wait, wait.
I think I just came up with an amazing plan.
Rip set up Time Bureau safe houses all over the world, some of which are still standing, like the one in London.
Yes? We go there, we get a Time Courier, he'll take us to the Waverider.
- Yes.
- Yes.
[Sara.]
Yeah, babe.
That is a perfect plan.
And you know what? We're gonna do it.
We're gonna go to London because we are immortal superheroes.
- Except me.
- Except for Zari.
And nothing is gonna stand in our way.
We're immortal and we're superheroes, and we have to wait for the bus.
Yeah.
Well, at least Constantine got us these nice warm clothes.
- We're ready for anything, right? - Yeah, like a pheasant hunt.
But in our defense, we do look pretty good.
Okay, tell me this.
How do you live here and not have a car? Never needed one, love.
Always bummed a ride.
So exactly how far is it to London? Well, according to my phone, it says 275.
8 - Miles or kilometers? - Doesn't matter, it's far.
When is the bus supposed to get here? According to the schedule, it'll be here in either one minute or three hours.
Wait.
Guys, is it a holiday? [Nate.]
Is it a holiday? - [vehicle approaches.]
- Ah.
Finally.
- Yes! - There we go.
Okay.
Now, hold up.
Who's paying the fare? - Does anybody have any money? - No.
Uh Sir, I know this sounds ridiculous, but the fate of the world depends on us getting on this bus.
I don't care who depends on who.
When I'm driving this bus, everyone pays the fare.
Have it your way.
[screams.]
Well, come on! [grunts.]
I really am so sorry, sir.
Believe it or not, we're the good guys.
Bollocks! Thank you for delivering this lovely Timeship.
And Atropos, thank you for shutting off that aggravating talking computer.
She thought she was so witty.
[sighs.]
You don't have to thank me.
It's not like I had a choice.
- You called in your favor, after all.
- Everything comes at a price, Astra.
I gave you a shot at killing John Constantine, and you squandered that.
You drank from the Chalice of Dionysus.
You're immortal for a day and can operate the Loom of Fate.
Are you asking me to work with you? Because I'm not hearing a question.
Fine, I'll join you.
But I have some demands.
Demands? Really? Yeah.
Now I've experienced life on Earth again, some things have got to change.
Like prunes.
Disgusting.
I want them gone.
And dogs, they should stay puppies forever.
Oh, and there's just one more thing.
I want to bring my mother back to life.
Let's kill her.
- I'm immortal.
Remember? - For now.
Astra's friends will be searching for us by now.
Do something productive and take care of them while I chat with Astra about this list of demands.
Now, tell me about these prunes.
[Agent Sharpe.]
Um Should I tell Mick that he's driving on the wrong side of the road or just No, definitely not.
It'll just confuse him more.
- Okay.
- Speaking of driving, maybe you should run point on this mission.
What? Is this because you're blind? Because you totally killed it at beer pong.
Thank you.
But now that I can't see the future, you know, just thinking maybe I'm more useful as a foot soldier.
And plus, you're exactly who the team needs right now.
Uh, okay, fine.
But this is only temporary.
Because as far as I'm concerned, we are co-captains for life.
Always.
[incanting in ancient Greek.]
Rise again, oh fallen souls.
We seek revenge.
Help conquer our foes.
Who's that? [Nate.]
We're gonna get your brother back.
We're just taking, you know, the scenic route.
Oh, you have got to be kidding me.
Oh, you must be joking.
What are you doing? Oh, I'm just having a little chin wag with an old friend.
- Come on, give it here.
- This is not your friend.
I thought you quit.
Why are you starting again? Because I trusted Astra and then she betrayed me by siding with Charlie's sisters.
Once they use the Loom, we're all as good as dead anyway.
This doomsday act is getting super old.
Look around.
The sky hasn't fallen.
The world is still here.
And for whatever reason, the cabal of mystical seamstresses hasn't started spinning yet.
Which means we still have time to stop them.
So, just don't do that.
- Fine.
- It's so gross.
[tires screech.]
- [Mick grunts.]
- [tires screeching.]
- Oh, damn, Mick, you killed her.
- No, I didn't.
- How do you know? - She's moving.
Uh, uh, ma'am, maybe you should just stay down.
Are you okay? - [roars.]
- Whoa.
- [all gasping.]
- What is it? [screeches.]
Punch it! Punch it! Nice one.
Oh, we've seen this before in the forest where Atropos was chasing us.
My sister will do everything she can to stop us.
Then we're probably gonna start seeing a lot more of these zombies soon.
- Or now.
- Hmm? [growling.]
[growling.]
Let's go! [grunts.]
Oh, come on, really? What the hell, John? Now you have a death wish? Oh, come on.
Don't be daft.
See, apparently, the good thing about having a damned soul is these zombies aren't interested in me.
Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew.
- Cool demo.
Could you do something now? - Yeah, okay.
Watch.
[gurgles.]
[both grunting.]
[Agent Sharpe.]
All right, team.
We gotta stick to the plan.
Let's get this bus up and running before more of these come back.
[sighs.]
[chitters softly.]
Maybe this cable will get Gideon back online.
[whir.]
Gideon? Should have paid more attention in computer science.
[yells.]
- [rabbit squeaks.]
- [Gideon.]
Wake up, sleepyhead.
[gasps.]
Are you an angel? Am I dead? Oh, you're not dead, Gary.
And I'm Gideon.
- You're Gideon? - Mmm-hmm.
But you're so You're so human.
Are you real? Well, I could explain, but it wouldn't matter one bit.
Now, listen to me very carefully because you have a rather important job to do.
- I do? - Yes.
You must hide those very important and powerful rings from those evil sisters.
The fate of the world depends on it.
Now, come on, Gary.
It's time to get to work.
Guys, come on.
We gotta keep moving before my sisters send something else our way.
The engine's busted after the fight, and the fuel pump's got no power.
Even if we fix the pump, all this leaking fluid tells me this is a lost cause.
Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, relax.
Remember when we all worked together to defeat a time demon? We can make it to London if we just work together.
All right.
How long is it going to take to fix the engine? - An hour.
- Maybe two.
To be honest, I don't know anything about mechanics, so All right.
We're running out of time.
You live around here.
You must know someone with a car.
- Yeah, I might know a bloke.
- Great.
Wait, Zari.
Shouldn't you stay with us? You're not immortal.
Look, I can't just sit here and do nothing.
Hey, hey, hey.
- I got her.
It's fine.
- Hey, no, no, no, no.
Where are you guys going? We're not supposed to split up.
That's not a part of the plan! Astra, dear, we have been very patient with you, especially considering you betrayed us without saying a word.
You betrayed me first.
Besides, I had to take my destiny into my own hands and try to bring my mother back myself.
And I appreciate your gumption.
But I'm afraid you don't fully grasp what that means.
Right now, my mother is dead.
I would like her to be alive.
Fairly simple concept.
But as you know, life as a human is very difficult.
If you insist on having a normal life with your mother, you will be bound to the rules of nature, which are not kind to humans.
See for yourself.
- [heart rate monitor beeping.]
- [wheezing, coughing.]
[flatlining.]
[sobs.]
[gasping.]
Why would you show me that? Because that is what is going to happen if you bring your mother back.
Life as a human is a life of pain and suffering.
Constantine promised to bring your mother back as if it would solve all your problems.
But what he didn't tell you is you're just postponing the inevitable.
Why bring your mother back only to lose her all over again? [Zari.]
Look, I couldn't just sit in that bus and do nothing.
[Constantine.]
Oh, I suppose it's good to go through the motions.
At least it gives you the illusion of control.
Yeah, I'm not just going through the motions, I'm actually doing something to save my brother.
Yeah, and I was actually trying to help Astra, and look what happened there.
You may see no point in trying, but I'm not giving up.
Have you ever considered the possibility that your brother's fate is doomed in every timeline? Apparently, this bloke, Rip Hunter, used to say that certain things are just inevitable.
Go to hell, John.
You know, I've been there and back, love.
Look, I'm just trying to save you the disappointment, is all.
You know what? Let's just walk in silence.
Cool? Cool.
Yeah.
Real smooth, Johnny.
Real smooth.
She's so intriguing.
Gary, she's positively evil.
But she's so talented with those weird knives.
Well, never mind her many splendid talents, Gary.
I must ask you to focus, pay attention now.
Okay, but how are we gonna distract her to grab the rings so she doesn't notice? I've got an idea.
Wish me luck.
Good luck.
[Agent Sharpe sighs.]
What's up? I really don't think I should have let John and Zari go.
What if we get the bus up and running before they get back? Or even worse, more zombies? Then what am I supposed to Hey.
Don't sweat it if the plan falls apart.
Sometimes, the best solutions come when there is no plan at all.
Besides, Legends are all about improvisation.
It's kind of like, uh, free-form jazz.
Ugh.
- I hate free-form jazz.
- Yeah, me too.
- [vehicle approaching.]
- Uh, sounds like we have company.
Whoa, I think those are soldiers.
- Maybe they can help us get to London.
- What did I tell you? - Hey, guys, hi! - [soldier.]
Hands up! - Oh, we are so glad you found us.
- Stay where you are.
They've got blood on their clothes.
They might be infected.
- What? No.
- No.
[chuckling.]
- It's not.
- No, no, no, we're not infected.
Ava! [Agent Sharpe growling.]
Oh, my God.
[yelling.]
Ow.
My God.
These zombies can withstand headshots.
Since when do zombies talk, you idiot? Super zombies have become sentient.
Round them up and take them back to base camp.
[soldier.]
Your hands where I can see them.
Lachesis? - Yes.
- The rings are gone.
I don't understand.
- How could this happen? - There must be someone else on the ship.
You're right.
Someone else is here.
And I know exactly who it is.
I got the rings.
We make an amazing team.
We should have our own spin-off.
[singing.]
Gideon and Gary Having adventures Solving problems And saving the world [chuckles.]
Brilliant song, Gary.
You must teach it to me once you've managed to wrestle control of the Waverider from those pesky sisters.
- I know how we can do that.
- Mmm.
We'll blow up the ship.
Or, perhaps, we'll do something just a smidge less suicidal.
Oh, that sounds like fun.
Let's track down a Courier, so we can jump the rest of the Legends here.
Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go to the lab and make those Couriers ours.
Gary, you're making me blush.
[chuckles.]
[chuckles.]
- [both chuckle.]
- Let's go.
[Zari.]
This is charming.
How did you hear about this place? Back in the day, old man Joe called me about a demon-possessed '75 Fiat.
It was a right messy exorcism.
And a right crappy car.
Ah, now, there's a beauty.
All right, come on.
We don't want to be out here any longer than we have to be.
[growl.]
What was that? It is not a sound we want to be waiting around for.
- [growling.]
- Okay, let's go, this way, go.
[growling.]
[panting.]
- Okay, I'll go find the van keys.
- Yeah, all right, yeah.
You do that.
Okay.
Thanks, Old Man Joe.
[howls.]
Ugh.
[gags.]
What is that infernal racket? Are you all right? Yup.
Yeah.
I am fine.
Just Filing this away for future therapy.
Ugh.
Okay.
We better leg it to that chip van before you become zombie fodder.
John, there's too many of them out there.
But they're not interested in you.
You need to take the van, find the team and save Behrad.
No, no, no, no, no, that is a terrible idea.
Why, because you didn't think of it? Because I'm not leaving you here to die, all right? That's it.
Oh, now you're good with leaving me to die? Yes to death, no to leaving.
You see, there was this spell that the ancient Egyptians I don't need the history lesson, John, just do it.
Yeah, all right, but it means stopping your heart.
And when I do that, we've only got a few minutes before the rest of you stops.
It's risky and anything can go wrong.
You know what? This whole day has gone wrong, so, why stop now? Why, indeed? You're making a huge mistake.
What sentient zombies are this well-dressed? Damn it.
I promised Lita I would never get locked up again.
This stays between us.
Okay, I am I am just gonna make up a speech.
About what? I don't know.
Just made up on the spot.
Ava's lost it, she's lost it.
- Shh, she's thinking - Okay.
You know what, guys? Um We are not wasting any more time in this tin can.
Let's try to get creative and think about what resources we have.
- Okay.
- Look, we've got a guy who turns into steel.
We've got a shapeshifter, right? That's friggin' amazing.
We've got a kickass blind assassin.
And a reformed thief turned romance novelist.
Who you calling reformed? Oh.
Well Whoa.
Wait a minute.
I've been locked up in one of these before.
[gasp.]
There's a weak door down here somewhere.
[Mick tapping.]
Ah.
Steel boy, punch.
I'd be honored.
Whoa, wait, what, so we're gonna just jump out of a moving car? Uh, you know, we're not going to die, but it's really going to hurt.
- Okay, who's first? - You! - [Nate yells.]
- [metallic scraping.]
- Oh, God! - Out of here, sucker! [yells.]
All right, then, come on, step right up.
- You got her? - Yeah, got her.
Yeah.
Whoo! I'm actually glad I can't see what's about to happen.
Ready? And jump! [yells.]
Gravity's actually not a part of the plan! [whoops.]
- Ow! - [bones creaking.]
- [metallic chime.]
- Ah.
- [all groan.]
- Well, Ava, as far as inspirational speeches go, I give that a gentleman's 7.
You know what? I will take it because now we are 80 miles from London, which is - you know, closer than we were before.
- Yeah.
- We're never going to make it.
- Hey! Never say "never.
" Hey, hey, hey, hey! Can you help us? [grunting.]
Ow! Don't stop, Wilbur! Zombies! Damn it! You're giving off a vibe.
Oh, man.
- [Sara.]
Come on, babe, we gotta walk! - I'm coming.
[growling.]
All right, love.
Can you give me a bit of room here, eh? [clears throat.]
Sure.
Okay.
If I die, I can't believe the last thing I'm going to see is your face.
Yeah, well, better than those zombies out there, eh? Debatable.
Yeah.
All right, love.
Close your eyes now.
Okay.
[incanting in Middle Egyptian.]
[heart beating.]
[heartbeat slows.]
[heartbeat stops.]
[growling.]
Okay.
[incanting in Middle Egyptian.]
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Don't do this to me! Don't do this to me! Come on, Zari, come on! Come on, don't do this.
Come on, come back to me, love.
Come back to me.
- [gasps.]
- [pants.]
Is this what a hangover feels like? [growling.]
We need to get out of here.
- Got one! - Smashing job, Gary.
Now, let's go get your friends, so we can finish this adventure once and for all.
Easy enough.
[gasps.]
- Drop it.
- [gasps.]
She means it.
She'll skin you alive.
What are you doing, Astra? Why are you working with them? Now, give us the rings.
We know you have them.
Gideon, run, save yourself! [chitters.]
The moron is speaking to the rabbit.
[squeaks.]
The rings are in your pocket.
Give them to us.
Gideon? Help me.
[Gideon.]
I can't, Gary.
I'm just a figment of your imagination.
But you must believe in yourself.
And don't give in, no matter what they do.
How could I give you the rings if they were never really here? Trickery.
I may have been electrocuted by Gideon's mainframe, but I could still do a simple obfuscation spell.
Time for more persuasive tactics.
[gasps.]
Those headlights are coming in fast.
All right, everybody.
Just be cool.
Yeah? try to act as un-zombie-like as possible.
- Maybe Mick should stand in the back.
- Mmm.
Get in, losers, we're going looming.
[cheering.]
Uh, hello? Ex-Director Sharpe here, who's manning this post? Aha! Well, cheers to this nightmare of a day coming to an end soon.
[Sara.]
I'll drink to that.
Yeah, well, we're not out of the woods yet, love, but you can sign me up for a beer anytime.
[sighs.]
Yup, John was right.
We are not out of the woods yet.
Is it dead? Yeah, how did you know? Great, that's just great.
My brother's gone forever, and the world's going to end - because someone forgot to charge it.
- [slams table.]
Great.
Smoke break? Actually, uh I quit smoking.
Again.
Mmm, don't tell me you finally found something to live for.
[grunts.]
There's no point.
The Fates are literally against us.
I mean, how else do you explain an overnight zombie apocalypse? Or the fact that we're now at the mercy of a charger? You know, I gotta say, all this doom and gloom attitude really don't suit you, love.
I'm sorry, I didn't realize you had a monopoly on doom and gloom.
No, I'm just saying, you stick to what you know best, is all.
Yeah, I'm not going to take advice from a professional exorcist with a savior complex.
[laughs.]
Come on, I do not have a savior complex.
[chuckles.]
Are you serious right now? "Oh, save me from my demons, John Constantine!" Oh, what about you, then? You talk about savior complex, what with all your self-help and advice videos.
Saving your minions from a life of drudgery.
I give my followers something to aspire to.
Aspire to? Really? What's that, then? Ah, oh, yeah, it's being a superficial git.
If you think I'm superficial, then why are you here with me? Do you know what, I don't know, I just think I haven't had enough punishment for one day.
Punishment? You should just go, then.
Right now.
You want me to leave? Because I will leave.
- I will go right now and not come back.
- Good, great.
Leave.
I wouldn't wanna be with you right now, if you were the last man on Earth.
Well, good, because I wouldn't wanna be with you - if you were the last woman - [exclaims with frustration.]
So, where should we start? Head, shoulders, knees or toes? [voice trembles.]
How about none of those things? You can hand me those rings or you can give me your hands, it is that simple.
This isn't you.
You're not like them.
[screams, gasps.]
You don't know a thing about me.
I do know that when you had to choose between staying in hell or putting your trust in the Legends, you grabbed Ava's hand and took a leap of faith.
That was a mistake.
A moment of weakness when I still believed I wanted to see my mother.
Wait.
You don't want your mother to come back anymore? Not if it means losing her all over again.
Lachesis opened my eyes and showed me her death and what it would be like if I brought her back.
You actually had to see your mother die? Are you okay? Because if I were you, I'd be a big puddle of Of course I am not okay.
It was bad enough losing her when I was a kid.
But did this Lachesis lady show you anything else? Like, what about all the good moments? Before she died.
Why bother? Those memories would be painful reminders of what I would one day have to lose.
You must have some memories of your mom when you were little that make you smile.
Right? Well, maybe, instead of torturing me, you could I don't know, share one? [door opens.]
You guys good? Yeah, feeling a little better.
Wow.
Those yams? - Horrible, aren't they? - [groans.]
Look, guys, I know today was - was rough.
I mean - Oh.
You got shot in the head, for Pete's sake.
Do you have to bring that up? And if I could, I'd spend every day like this.
Sitting around with my pals.
[Agent Sharpe.]
Aw.
Well, you could end every day any way you like with the Loom of Fate, mate.
You know, after we best your sister, any one of us might be called to use the Loom, and you got to ask the question, what kind of temptations we'd have? I'm actually pretty happy just flying through time with you guys, and I got my lady.
I'm pretty happy.
Mmm.
Same.
I'd be a criminal again.
The simple life.
You know, if Behrad were alive and we were together and happy, I I don't know, I would use my talents to make the world a more inclusive, better place, I guess.
Well, I, for one, would throw a multi-continent rager.
[chuckles.]
- Would you really, though, John-o? - I would, yeah.
[Charlie.]
There's nothing a little deeper little closer to your heart? Oh, you know, uh [clears throat.]
Even after everything that's happened I'd wanna do right by Astra, you know.
Make sure she was happy growing up in a big house, and I could keep an eye on her.
Sure is nice to dream.
I'll drink to that.
Cheers! [Constantine chuckles.]
Okay.
What are you not telling me? Nothing.
[scoffs.]
Come on.
Let me guess.
You didn't really lose your powers.
Yeah? You had a vision.
And you saw the future, and you don't want to tell me about what happened.
Am I right? The Courier is not going to charge in time.
- In time for what? - In time to escape before that front door gets busted down by what's outside.
Why'd you lie to me, babe? [sighs.]
Because my vision ended with me dying here.
In this pub.
Sorry, what? Oh, my God, I can't really think straight.
I just It's okay.
This is why I didn't wanna tell you.
I didn't want to distract you from getting the team to this moment.
Okay, so you have been saying goodbye and just pushing me to take over this whole time? [sighs.]
Yes, but it's a temporary goodbye, all right? Because you guys, you're going to fix this, and you're going to save the day.
Did you happen to have some sort of vision of how we saved the day, Sara, because that would be really helpful right now.
I wish, but, no, I couldn't see anything past my death.
That was it.
Okay.
And what if we don't succeed? I have faith in you, babe.
And I have faith in this team.
And after I go, you will fix it, I know it.
Um, I don't wanna freak you guys out but we're completely surrounded by zombies.
[growling.]
Looks like they're biding their time until our immortality runs out.
Well, damnees, the inevitable has arrived.
Kiss your immortality goodbye.
[screeching.]
[roaring.]
[Astra.]
It's strange the memories you hold on to when someone's gone.
My mom loved strawberries.
And one year we went strawberry picking at this farm.
And we just ate them right off the vine.
They didn't even make it to the basket.
We just spent the whole day stuffing ourselves.
Sounds like a cool lady.
She was.
Think about all the strawberries you could pick if you came Okay, enough wheedling.
Just show me how to use this damn thing, so we can get help and I can bring her back already.
Okay, yeah.
So Congratulations.
You're just as weak as any other human.
Your immortality has run out.
Time's up.
[gasps.]
The rings.
Or join your friend on the floor.
[all grunting.]
We just have to hold out until the Courier charges.
- [zombies growl.]
- [grunting.]
The door's not going to hold.
Once they're inside, I'll hold them off as long as I can.
Sara.
Co-captains for life.
Always.
Come on.
The bloody thing's still charging.
Hey, deadheads, over here! [Sara grunts.]
Sara! [flesh ripping.]
It's charged.
Charlie, you have to go.
Deal with your sisters and fix this.
- How? - You've outsmarted them once before, you can do it again.
[gun clicking.]
[gasping.]
[muffled yell.]
Gary.
[muffled words.]
Charlie, thank God you're here.
Your sisters took over the ship and they somehow convinced Astra to work with them, and then I convinced her she was wrong, which is how she ended up on the floor.
Where's everyone else? There's no time to explain, where are the rings? Okay, yeah.
We have to be careful.
Your sisters were just [blade plunges.]
What a pity.
You've come crawling back.
You're just in time, Clotho.
I'm done running.
Now, let's get to work.
[theme music playing.]