Hercules: The Legendary Journeys s05e13 Episode Script

Previously on Hercules.
A gateway to another world appeared.
Oh! Aaah! Look out! Hercules! And when lolaus went inside You lose your little buddy? I found someone to take his place.
His double came out.
- Where did you come from? - I got my start at the Comedy Cave in Hellespont.
- Hah! - Meanwhile, in the other world, lolaus came face to face with my evil twin the Sovereign.
Yeah.
There must be one of everybody on both worlds.
And when one dies The other one dies at the same time.
But the Hind's blood had the power to kill a god, and the Sovereign couldn't afford to let it slip through his hands.
I don't know if I can be a hero when I get back, but I'm gonna try.
Unfortunately, I had a feeling I hadn't seen the last of the Sovereign.
And I was right.
Oh! Run, lolaus! No.
So I trapped the Sovereign between worlds No! where he couldn't hurt anyone.
And that's where he's been ever since.
No, no, no! No, no! No, no, no, no! Very disappointed! Huh? It started yesterday! Half our farms have lost crops and livestock! Anyone hurt? Oh, a few broken bones and lots of bruises.
You've been lucky.
I'd say it's getting worse.
The gods must be punishing us for believing in Dahak's lies! I don't think so.
The gods fled Olympus when Dahak came to Greece.
- But where could they have gone to? - I think I have an idea.
- What is that? - It's a doorway.
Get everyone out of here! - What are you gonna do? - Somethingreallystupid.
Aaah! Aaah! Ohhh.
Just once I'd like to land on something soft.
Ew.
Ohhh.
The Sovereign.
Ah.
Now I know why I have a headache.
Hee-hee! Ohhh.
Ow.
My head.
lolaus? This is the story of a time long ago, a time of myth and legend, when the ancient gods were petty and cruel, and they plagued mankind with suffering.
Only one man dared to challenge their power Hercules.
Hercules possessed a strength the world had never seen, a strength surpassed only by the power of his heart.
He journeyed the earth, battling the minions of his wicked stepmother, Hera, the all-powerful queen of the gods.
But wherever there was evil, wherever an innocent would suffer, there would be Hercules.
Hail! lolaus? I I mean, lolaus.
You You You You You keep away from me! Whoa, whoa.
Don't you remember me? I remember how you filled my head with dreams about being a hero, then sent me to a world I didn't want to go to! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What happened? I thought you wanted to go back to your world.
Let me put it this way: The Sovereign is a kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty compared to the tiger that's out there now! Wait a minute.
You're alive.
How can you still be alive? Oh, uh, what do you mean? The lolaus I knew is dead.
And when somebody dies in my world They die in mine.
I'm dead! Oh-ho-ho! I'm dead, I'm dead.
No, you're not dead.
You're not dead.
It's It's this place.
In the netherworld, I guess the rules don't apply.
But how did you end up in here? Ah.
A portal.
Heh.
See? Uh, he hasn't seen it yet.
I told him I didn't know how I got in here.
And he believed you? Yeah.
Maybe I'm not as smart as I think I am.
Or maybe you're dead.
We're dead! We're dead! We're not dead.
We're not dead.
We're not dead! Listen to me.
I need your help.
You can stay and wait for the Sovereign to wake up, or you can come with me.
I'm not going with you.
I'm going with you! Hee hee hee! Hercules told us to go! I'm not going anywhere until he comes out of there! Tartarus take you, Hercules.
You'll ruin everything.
Aaah! Oh.
Look! It's a jester! Oh! That hurts.
What a clown! Dance, fool! Make us laugh! Pbblt! Ah.
Ohhh.
Why would you do that? Ow.
What? Let them laugh at you.
You hurt yourself.
That wasn't funny.
Well, it is to them.
Anyway, what do you want from me? I'm a jester.
It's my job to make people laugh.
At your own expense? I know I look like your partner, but I'm not him, and I'm not interested in hearing about him, and I'm really not interested in anything you have to sa Aaah! I wasn't even talking about him.
Look, I don't know what you think I did to you, but the way I remember it, you wanted to come back, because in your heart you knew you weren't a coward.
Well, now's your chance to prove it.
What does that mean? The gateway's going crazy because the gods from my world fled here.
If I don't bring them back soon, both of our worlds will rip apart.
Well, why don't your gods just go home? That's what I'm here to figure out.
Now, I can find my way around a lot faster if I have a guide.
Well, uh, y-you Okay, but when this is over, we split up and go our separate ways.
Fine.
Now, you said that someone who's in charge was worse than the Sovereign? The Empress.
The Empress.
Dah! Shh! Shh! Let the games begin.
Afternoon, folks! And welcome once again to Wheel of Misfortune.
The game show where every contestant is a loser, and every loser is a dead man.
And now the moment you've all been dreading.
dddd Hortius Milabash, come on down! No! No! You're the next contestant onWheel of Misfortune! Please, no! I beg you! Have mercy! Have mercy! No! He's just nervous.
Come on! Move it! He's never been in the spotlight before.
And here we go! Let's take a moment to find out about our contestant, shall we? Tell us, Hortius, where ya from? Please.
I don't want to die.
Wonderful! Glad to have you here! dddd Applause! Applause! You heard him! Right.
More enthusiasm.
And now for our first and only question, How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? No hints from the peanut gallery now.
Ooh.
Time's up, Hortius.
Your answer? He'd chuck all the wood a woodchuck could uh, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
Let's see what the judge has to say.
Uh Mm! What a surprise.
Well, it looks like it's time to take the wheel for a little spin-a-roosky! Around and around and around we go.
Where she stops, nobody knows! What'll it be? The mace? The saw? Haven't seen the crossbow come up in a while.
And here we go! Ooh.
Tough luck.
You got the torch.
Cheese it! Quick, get outta here! But thanks for playing.
No! No! No! Hah! What a good sport! And now a word from our sponsor.
Nebula.
Yeah.
She gives me the willies.
At least the Sovereign laughed at my jokes.
My loyal subjects, as your new empress, I look forward to watching each and every one of you die! Spoken like a true sociopath.
Well, thanks for joining us, folks.
And until tomorrow, this is your old pal Falafel reminding you to say your prayers! I'm starting to understand why you thought it would be safer to be in the netherworld.
Let me guess.
In your world, the Empress is a healer.
Oh, not exactly, but she is one of my closest friends.
She and the Sovereign are close, but, well, I wouldn't call them friends, would you? Uh, no.
I don't think so.
Boy, she's really Morning, sunshine.
Sleep well? Mine.
Give it back! Give it back? Wouldn't that be kind of a waste? You see, Hind's blood can kill a god.
And what good is it to you stuck in here? Why not give it to someone who can put it to use? Someone like, uh, me, for example.
I got a better idea.
How about I rip out your small intestine and use it as a jump rope? Ooh.
I like it.
Can I use that one? Use this.
Ohhh.
You know, I like you.
Under different circumstances, we might have been friends if we weren't trying to kill each other first.
Speaking of which Perhaps I misjudged you.
We might make a good team.
Can't do it.
Got myself a partner.
Friend of yours, as it happens.
Your castle looks real good on her.
Oh, Nebula.
No, she'd never betray me.
Actually What is it? I'm not sure.
It feels like Like Like what? Like we've got company.
That traitorous wench.
I'll tell her you said good-bye.
Right in here.
It's the Sovereign's bedchamber.
Hmm.
Cozy.
I wonder which one's his favorite.
Oh, fourth one in.
You said he was close with the Empress, right? Maybe I can squeeze the truth out of her.
Don't forget to use protection.
The girl is rough.
Let me guess.
The God of Love? At your service.
You are planning to impersonate the Sovereign with Empress Nebula.
Well, there's a little problem.
You see, she's got a new accomplice.
He's, uh Oh, he's a handsome rogue a little ill-tempered for my liking though.
- Ares.
- Yeah.
Your Ares.
He killed the Sovereign.
- Well, how did you know? - Gut feeling.
I am a lover, not a fighter.
Still, I'll do what I can to help.
Yeah.
Um, the fourth one in? Yeah.
Do these make my butt look big? Huh? Huh? What'd I tell you? Is this talent or what, hmm? What.
What'd you do that for? Do you know how hard it is to find barrel-balancing skull-jugglers these days? A lot harder than it's gonna be to find a new Czar of Entertainment.
How'd you like to go back to being chef? Hey.
I'm not married to the guy.
Which reminds me, we should notify his wife.
Don't cry.
I've got this guy in the hallway who can flash-fry a yak just by eating a cauldron of beans and bending over a candle! I don't care! I thought taking over the known world would make me popular! But nobody likes me but me.
Oh, come on.
Th-That's not usually true.
Someone has been sitting in my chair.
I could use a hand here.
- Bravo.
- Oh, ha ha ha ha ha.
How could you? How could you? - It's all your fault.
I've had it with you! - Let me go! I hate you! Where is the love? There you go.
Pookie! Is it really you? It better be or someone else is wearing my underwear.
Say, Sovereign, I thought you were Yes, I know.
Rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated.
Where do they start? Mmm! So smooth! No hair? I, uh, got tired of keeping it trimmed.
I know the feeling Where have you been? Every day without you has been an eternity, every eternity an infinity, every infinity Hey! I get your point! Speaking of which, when do I get yours? Ooh! Hello! So nice to have you back, Your Torturousness.
Shall I prepare your favorite dish moose mousse? Of course.
Moose mousse.
It's my favorite.
Aha! I knew it! The Sovereign hated moose mousse.
He's an impostor, Empress, a cheap peddler of counterfeit hootchy-koo.
If I weren't the Sovereign, would I do this? Waaagh! Oh! Nice catch.
Hey.
Guy, you are one big knot.
It really is you! I've been hearing stories.
What stories? You've got a new partner in crime.
Aaah! You were gone! I needed something to pass the time.
Besides, it was just business.
What kind of business? Who cares? You're back.
Love me! What kind of business? Who's your new playmate? He's a god, all right? From another world like ours, but different.
His comrades came here to hide, and he needed me to make sure they never left, so that he could be top god in his world.
Mm-hmm.
And where are these gods now? We trapped them in the Labyrinth of Eternal Memory.
Hmm.
I approve.
You know, just out of curiosity Uh-huh? Uh, what did you get out of the deal, hmm? I'm Empress, aren't I? Really? Uh-huh.
Guards! Yeah.
Lock the Empress in my bedchamber and make sure that she doesn't leave.
Huh.
Meow.
Did I miss something? The Sovereign's back! The Sovereign's back! Oh, no! Run for your life! So am I.
Oh, no! Zeus built this place for the Sovereign when he was a baby.
They say that designing it was what drove Zeus insane.
Zeus is insane? Oh, yeah, yeah.
He's a few sandwiches short of a picnic.
Like father, like son.
What are you doing? I'm, uh, letting the wind be our guide.
It'll blow toward an opening, and follow the draft to the center, then out again.
Look, you've been a big help to me already.
If you don't wanna go on any further, I'll understand.
The other lolaus wouldn't have hesitated, would he? Thought you didn't want to hear about him.
Yeah, but I'm right, though, aren't I? He'd have just jumped straight in with you.
Oh, yeah.
He wouldn't let people laugh at him.
He'd have had more self-respect.
Well, like you said, you're not him.
And just because you made different choices, that doesn't make your choices wrong.
Yes, it does.
lolaus, what's going on? I mean, why do you keep beating yourself up? Hold that thought.
Here we go again.
Oh.
I wonder if it's poisonous.
Does it really matter? Don't move.
Are you kidding? I can't move.
I'm terrified.
Aaah! Hey! Hey! Over here! Come on! Oops.
Wrong way.
Get away! Like that'll work.
That worked.
You wanted to come along.
Ahhh.
Ooh.
No need to get all gussied up on my account.
I'll come willingly.
Get out of here, Ares! Our deal's finished.
Ahhh.
I don't get it.
I'm tall, I'm dark, I'm handsome.
I got a great job, and I can stay up all night! - Why don't you like me? - Because you remind me of that sickenly saccharin God of Love! Ugh! And in my world, you're just asnice as you are here.
And it's killing me that I can't have either of you! Tell it to the Sovereign.
He'll be walking through that door any moment now.
You told him everything, didn't you? What if I did? He was very impressed.
If I didn't want you so bad, I'd have killed you already! The Sovereign is dead! You told Hercules everything! Oh.
My do-gooder brother butting in.
Keeping the gods prisoner in the labyrinth is no longer an option.
Why can't we all just get along? We're lost, aren't we? It's a labyrinth.
That's the point.
We go that way.
Oh! I am so glad you two are finally getting close.
Oh.
The other Ares? He's coming to kill your gods.
Well, there's a surprise.
Uh, can you distract him before he gets here? I am a lover Not a fighter.
Yeah, I know.
But you can still slow him down.
What'd you have in mind? The Sovereign's dead? Please! Like you actually cared for this clown.
No! I just thought I was gonna get lucky tonight! Oh, but you are.
I gotta go back to work, find a more permanent solution to my problem.
You're not going anywhere, ya hunk a hunk of burning love! Ho, Mama! Yes! Yes! I can't bear to look.
Gimme what you got, baby! Help! What was that? Nothing.
It's a rat.
Aaah! It's a rat! Oh, it's a rat! Look.
It's a lot more scared of you than you are of it.
Yeah? Why does it look so calm? Hercules, maybe this was a mistake.
I shouldn't have come.
I'm a coward, Hercules.
I always have been.
I always will be.
That's not true.
It took a lot of courage for you to come back to this world without knowing what you might face.
No.
You don't understand.
I wanted to be like you, Hercules.
I I wanted to be a hero.
So when the empress came to power, I helped a group of rebels to revolt against her.
Charge! Most of them were killed.
And I ran away to the only place I knew I'd be safe.
I'd seen through the portal to where the Sovereign was trapped between the worlds.
It was like jumping from the frying pan into the fire.
But I didn't have any other choice.
I'm sorry.
No, I'm sorry.
I was angry at myself, and it was easier to blame you than to admit what a weakling I really am.
lolaus, look.
Oh.
Wh-Wh-Wha-What Its your memories.
The labyrinth is replaying them somehow.
I don't remember this.
This can't be good.
No.
I guess this would be a good time for a joke.
A strapping young girl from Lesbos Oh, bad timing.
I know.
Story of my life.
"Story of your life.
" That's it! What? That's what's pulling us down.
Your memories, your regrets you're living in the past.
Oh, great.
And I'm taking you with me.
I told you I should never have come.
Put your past behind you, or we'll never get out of here.
How? Just shut it out of your mind.
You must have something to look forward to.
Death? No.
Well, uh, you know, there is one thing.
Whatever it is, it's working.
No.
Keep looking ahead of you, lolaus.
Don't look back.
You see? I had to make sure to remember to forget to remember.
Yeah.
We're almost there.
Oh.
Huh.
Almost Oh! Charge! Hyah! Water! I'm not done with you yet.
You know what they say.
Tenth time's the charm.
Ohhh.
Tell me, Your Highness, what did I do to deserve this? Oh, nothing.
Nothing! You! I owe you for this! You moron! This was a distraction! Hercules has probably freed the gods by now! I don't get it.
The empress said the gods were in here, but where are they? In there.
Let us out! Let's get you back where you belong, and, boy, do you owe me.
Let's go.
Uh-oh.
Help, please! Help us! Hmm.
This isn't good.
All right.
You try that one and I'll I'll go back this way.
Huh.
Are we coming or going? It looks like we're staying.
How do we get out of it? When your ashes are in an urn! Think, Ares.
I know it's a stretch but try.
You can't rule the world if there's no world left.
Nothing wrong with starting over! lolaus, catch! Aaah! Oh! Hyah! Ohhh! Whoops! Oh! Oh.
I should have learned to play ball.
Hah! Ohhh! - Ares.
- Hmm? - It's weird, isn't it? - I'll give you weird.
Have a nice trip.
- Whoa! - See you next fall! - Whoa! - Welcome back.
Whoa! Oh! Whoa! Lights out! - Yes, yes, yes! - I'm starting to enjoy these little get-togethers.
lolaus.
You won't be needing this.
Now, where is that Give me the sphere or your little friend dies.
Sure thing, Empress.
Heads up.
- It worked.
- Huh? Aaah! Enough of this.
Free! That's the way home.
Rest in peace.
Say hello to the gods for me, Ares.
I'm sure they'll be waiting for you.
Well, the good news is, if I can kill the Sovereign, I can kill you too.
Later, bro.
He's all talk.
Oh.
Wait, wait, wait.
What are we gonna do with her? Yeah.
You're right.
She would look better in a jail cell, wouldn't she? You saved my life, Hercules.
I wish I had your courage.
Having courage doesn't mean that you don't feel fear, lolaus.
It means you fight for what's right in spite of it.
You did that when you helped the rebels.
Yeah, but I failed.
Not today.
Today you helped save both of our worlds.
Huh.
Hmm.
You know, when we were in the labyrinth, and I was stuck in the past, so to speak, and you asked me to look forward to something, you know what it was? Going to a new world and starting over.
Hercules, there's nothing here for me.
No family, no future.
Only a past I never even wanted.
Will you take me with you? That's okay.
You know, we can't forget the past any more than we can change it.
Yeah.
I guess the trick is to learn from our mistakes.
Yeah.
And if we're lucky, we get we get our second chances.
Let's get out of here.
Ready when you are, partner! Aaah! Oh! Whaa-ha-hoo!